Berner Phone - Morgan Absher: Two Hot Takes & Calling Out A**holes

Episode Date: July 20, 2022

Morgan Absher was an occupational therapist... and then covid hit. She found herself scrolling reddit and the deep dark web to escape the reality of the pandemic. 8 months later, she launched a podcast that broke the internet call Two Hot Takes with almost 3 million followers on TikTok. Today, she reveals all the demons behind her journey of starting Two Hot Takes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Burning Hell Hello Hello, welcome to a very exciting LA episode of hell I kind of manifested this I can't believe she's in the studio with me We have like a podcast phenomenon We have a Midwest girlie,

angel baby pussy popping queen god i just came up with that we're with morgan abcher who is basically has the sickest story of quarantine and i'm so excited to have you here morgan welcome to hell thank you for having me i'm i'm ready this is i didn't this is also like this is mental health podcast where yeah and like comedy but i talk to people about their demons and i feel like your podcasts came from almost a similar place. Oh my god, yeah. I want to get started. You're from Minnesota? Minnesota. I went to school in Wisconsin. Oh. Yeah, no, I'm not a fan. Yeah. Oh, no, should we just stop now? The badgers. I got to go. Go be oners. Um, no, but I do have to say, I'm going to get hate for this, but Minnesota people had like good personalities. Oh, yeah, we're the best.

They're fun. What's the, but what do you think of the whole Minnesota nice concept? It's Minnesota. nice but sneaky passive aggressive like there's niceness for sure like you get a flat tire someone will help you you need your driveway shoveled sure I'll be there I got a snowblower even but afterwards you're like the car is ugly

what was that accent people don't know how to be forward which is what I appreciate so much about like east coasters you're just like you're forward there's no bullshit yeah you're straight to the point and Minnesota people we just beat around the bush we don't know how I definitely had like some cultural issues where I couldn't tell how people felt and also people thought

I was exotic because I'm have Italian but that's because every girl is so blonde and cute in the Midwest and I'm my stereotyping right now but like yeah like you are Midwest Queen, you're Midwest royalty you're Midwest Bell someone would say No I'm like just the most

normal person I am like horrifically normal Would you call yourself basic I mean I'm weird I think I'm too weird to be basic but I mean I'm just normal I'm so it's this whole thing the podcast everything blowing up TikTok like I'm going to a TikTok party tonight I'm like what the fuck is this dude I don't even I don't belong here I was doing

some research on you coming in just creepy on you but we call it research yeah and you were kind of like I was so uncomfortable when I heard that I like I even had a fan because you're like I'm not someone that like no but it's I think we're living in such a cool time where anyone could have a voice. And I really love what you've done with your voice. Thank you. Did you go to University of Minnesota? I did. Yeah, I went there for undergrad and then came out to L.A. originally just after a shitty breakup and it was like a mental health thing. And then moved back to Minnesota and then came back to L.A. for grad school. So you had an affinity for L.A. already. Yeah. My dad is from here, born, bread, raised. And so I was always kind of a commuter kid. Okay, okay, okay. Because I was

envisioning like you just like in a snowmobile in the middle of Minnesota and like suddenly just being thrown into like a TikTok party? I mean, it does feel like that. Like I've been in L.A. for a couple of years, but I mean, I was going to grad school. I didn't really do much. I've had experiences. Like I had a friend that played hockey for the king. So, you know, we would go out with them. Okay, cool. Minnesota guys. That is literally the most Minnesota story. I know. Because Wisconsin, too. It was like hockey guys. Hockey guys all. got was they snuck me into the KK a couple times, but through the kitchen. My friend was fucking one of them. Oh yeah. You got to take the purse. You guys are so fun, but they are so

dangerous. Psychotic. My God. The stuff I saw was just, I want to hit my head against the wall. My mom went to Cornell and the first thing she said to me when I went to Wisconsin was stay away from the hockey guys. They're older than everyone. They have no teeth and they will give you an STD. And the bitch was right. It checks out. I should have listened to that. That bitch was Your mom knew. I luckily, I didn't get any STDs from any of them, but... They had an HPV vaccine now, thank goodness. Yeah, thank God, Gardasil.

Shout out to Gardasil, swipe up. I also, as an avid podcaster, I have a lot of people reach out to me and be like, I have a podcast idea. And I also am very a proponent of people starting podcasts. Yeah. But most of the successful podcasts that you look at are people who already are established some way in their career are already have a following who are like here is the next thing like you go in a reality show you get a podcast you know are um an expert in some way that people already follow

you here's my podcast how the fuck did you blow up and i mean this in a purely like curious entrepreneurial standpoint because i'm fascinated with virality and stuff like that i think it was the perfect storm of everything i don't think like now i think there's more reddit content popping up but when like I didn't know there was any Reddit podcast at all before me and I think there's there was like one YouTube channel that I discovered after but I think it was the perfect storm of like no one was doing Reddit yet and I just started putting it on TikTok and from the first video the first the very first one went viral shut oh my god I have chills I literally have chills right now so I don't even know what I did and I just kept doing it like even my like I have like this little

tic-to-talk person Simon and we used to he abandoned me now but I had Simon and he was like yeah your videos are kind of an anomaly like you're longer than any content i've ever seen and still don't lose people so you know i don't really have any advice to give you just just keep doing what you're doing i'm like i don't know what i'm doing though like i have no idea i'm just posting i kind of love that you weren't inspired by anything no just depression yes we love a depressed girlie so because also covid everyone was on the screens yeah That was all you had. And this is the thing about Reddit, because I've never talked about Reddit on my pod,

even though, like, Reddit is, like, you feel it all the time. And I have, like, a nerdy, you know, 27-year-old brother who has been on Reddit for a while, and every now and then he'll be like, oh, your tweets on Reddit. And I'm like, oh, now you respect me, thanks. But what was your Reddit experience before the pod? What was your journey? So I first discovered it through Twitter, which is, like, Reddit. Reddit is just like, it's Twitter and Reddit. There's back and forth, like, stealing each other's

content. So I first discovered it on Twitter and then just started down the rabbit hole of like, oh, what's the asshole? What's dead bedrooms? I'm super alone. Like, there's so many different subreddits. So I just started just diving. What is the demo? Isn't mostly male dominated or you can find your like female spaces or is AMA like not, is it both? I feel like it's everything. There's like certain subs that you go to, like just know mother-in-law, which is very, like, narcissistic moms and mother-in-law is just crazy toxic dynamic there. I think that one's mostly women. Yeah. Am I the asshole? Pretty balanced, mostly men trying to, like, come and get their reassurance that they don't suck when they clearly do. They don't find it there, usually. But it's great. Like, for example,

when I do comedy, I love having guys and girls in the audience. Because there's a tension where, like, who make fun of the guys and the girls laugh, but then you call out the girls and the guys feel like they're learning about the female locker room while also getting called out. It's just like a beautiful dynamic, and I feel like that's what your pod. It is. I've literally had people reach out recently, and they're like, a couple people have like, you've saved my marriage, which I'm like, we're obsessed. I don't know about that, but put it in the folder. But really, yeah, I do have a folder going. T-H-T kind words, because a lot of shit makes me cry. But, like, a lot of people are like, I started listening to this with my partner, and it's like therapy for us. It's like

couples therapy. We're learning so much about each other and the way we think, how we would handle situations have caused some breakups, but it needed to be done. My only advice to people in the DM me is, I'm like, why are you asking? You know you should break up with him. People DM me for me to tell them to break up with their mans, and I'll be that hero. I love a breakup moment. But sometimes they don't listen. Like, there's the most toxic messages I've replied to because I'm like, please get out. Yeah. like please get out and they're like I just couldn't he said he would change I'm like it's an addiction it's like people will not stop unless like they really want to well those toxic relationships and

abusive relationships like I think I saw a stat yesterday where it's like it takes seven attempts to leave an abusive relationship and it's like and then we ask these people why didn't you leave sooner and it's like that's just our brains and like the way we are like this that stupid neurotransmitters just tricking us to want to stay I do forget, because you're very beautiful, which is just a stereotype, that women can't be beautiful and smart, but, like, you are very, very, very, very smart. You were setting to be an occupational therapist. Yeah, I actually graduated. You graduated.

Yeah. What is an occupational therapist? So everyone's like, no, I don't need a job. I have a job, you dumb bitch. I'm like, no, no, no, no. So there's so many different areas with OT that you can work in. I think the most common one we're known for is, like, pediatrics. So working with kids on the spectrum, Down syndrome, any motor disabilities, like anything, kiddos.

The other big bread and butter area of it is like acute care or acute rehab. So working with stroke survivors, people with ALS, all sorts of things. What sparked your interest in this? A sorority sister, to be honest. I was working at Lily Lemon, had no idea what I wanted to do. And I knew I wanted to do medical stuff, but I worked as a medical scribe. in the ER and I saw like the most horrific like four year old accident of my life and I realized I was like okay that's just too much responsibility I don't want to go to PA school anymore so a sorority

sister ran into me and she was like you should check out OT and I did and I was like oh this seems like it'll be good and it makes good money and I want to help people and so let's go for it I'm gonna be honest I didn't really know what OT was when I applied to grad school in your early 20s you don't fucking know your job is to like it's literally dating jobs yeah you you like he looks hot but i don't know what it's like to be with him three months in when our life is complicated well and i have like i have commitment issues i love quitting jobs like i love jumping around like same the shit i've done like i was a nanny i worked at lu lemon i was a flight attendant i was an o t now i have a podcast i'm like i've just done so much shit and i was like now i'm like okay i kind of want to quit

podcasting like what else can i do like you know what you're so weird you're saying you're quitter but what i hear is you're a doer as in when you want to do something you just do it and that's in positive reframing yeah and that was reparenting no I'm just kidding but like I did hear a quote recently that like the only difference between certain successful people and not successful people or some people don't even want to be like their version of success is different but yeah people who are successful do it people who don't will think of an idea and hold it forever and be like I want to be an entrepreneur but they like are more comfortable just holding the idea where like I'm it's it's like a corny Michael Jordan quote but like he missed tons of game winning shots but you don't remember that no

you remember the ones that he won now it sounds like you got this idea in COVID yeah when that idea hit you what was the emotional physical feeling so I sat on this idea for 10 months I talked about it talked about it talked a lot about it and I was just so scared. What was your fear? I wasn't a content creator. I was an OT and I had just finished my graduate program and I couldn't get a job in OT even. And I'm like, okay, if I can't even get a job an OT, something I just went to three years of school for, what business do I have even trying something else? I was like, trying to get a job was my full-time job. Like it was so much. And you were overqualified for the jobs you were probably applying for as in, or at least qualified. And now you're

like, why would I do something that I'm so underqualified for? It was so brutal. I I mean, I went the extra, like, step in my degree. I got my doctorate. Like, I didn't even just do the master's for OT. I got my doctorate. I had an extra, like, internship, a doctoral thesis at UCLA. Like, I was grinding. Did you enjoy it?

I loved it. I absolutely loved it. I actually created my own, like, capstone and did addressing mental health and psychosocial needs in acute care, which is never addressed, ever. So that was that. I do have to say people will see people blow up and be successful and just be like, why does that happen to her? But like there's so much, all that stuff led to this success. And it might seem like it was like, why did I do that stuff? But like it all guided, even the problem solving that you did in graduate school has probably helped you right now.

Okay, this is so exciting for me. I'm sorry, I really love seeing things like come to fruition. Yeah. So your boyfriend gives you a little nudge. Yeah, buys me all the equipment. like gifts but we are decentering one for more life we didn't need him he didn't need him but he is a unicorn like absolute unicorn he still processes all my audio because he's in music taught me how to edit so like he was a unicorn he's like awes behind the

curtain a little bit i'm obsessed with my brain but like kind of it started with the grunt work on his side he gave you some confidence to be like oh i have like someone who knows what they're doing absolutely it would not have been possible without that and like i tell myself that though but I'm like, I also had a brother that started a podcast before me. So I'm like, I probably would have found a way, but the road would have been that much harder. Yeah. So I'm very thankful for him. But yeah, like, sat on it 10 months.

He gifted me the equipment. And then February 2021 posted the first episode. And then had my best friend who was supposed to be the co-host quit. And so it shaped up to be something even totally different than what it was. Yeah. Why'd you quit? Internet is a scary place. Oh, I feel it. I feel her.

It sucks out there sometimes. Do you still talk to her? Yeah. She's my best friend. She continued to be on the show. Okay. I think it was just like the pressure and like the vulnerability of like putting yourself out there. Well, also I almost feel like you're like a Love Island contestant where it most people with podcasts like either they already were famous and the podcast just continues it and you don't feel any different once your pod starts. Yeah.

Or it's like a slow over five years it starts to grow. And I'm telling you that because that's like the growth of podcasts. Oh my gosh. Like really like you finally get 5,000 listens for four years in where like she went from nothing to like everyone knowing her thoughts. Yeah. It's so scary. And it doesn't matter like I saw this quote recently where it's like stop explaining

yourself to people that are determined to not understanding you. And that is like something like we had to really, we were like shocked into where it's like, no matter how we say or how we clarify or how much nuance we give a topic we're talking about, people are still going to interpret it through their triggers. They're going to hear it through their lens of their own life experiences that you can't alter. No, I could literally say, like, I had a bad experience with a guy that played hockey once. And people interpreted it as, you think all guys that play hockey are pieces of shit and shouldn't exist on this planet and we should eradicate them. And I'm like, I just said one guy was shitty.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. From your own experience. Like, literally, I, I prefaced it. Because you have such, like, a large listener base, it's like your words are powerful, but also, like, that's so beautiful that someone else might be having a bad experience with a hockey guy and be like, oh, I'm not alone. Like, maybe it's not me all the time. And you know what? There are good hockey guys out there. I just haven't met them.

Same. I strongly believe that. This is two people who went to college in the Midwest. Some of them were my best friends and I still think they suck in people. Absolutely. I love a lot of them. Anyway, so

before we get canceled by the hockey community, I have to talk about Reddit in terms of, because it's anonymous and there's anonymity, it lets people open up about probably really vulnerable things. Yeah. But it also allows people

to be hateful without having to have any accountability. Yeah. How do you navigate working on a podcast based off of that landscape? It's really hard. So I think I try to take things at face value and like a lot of guests have a hard time doing that.

Like I have a lot of guests that will come on and they're like, this isn't real. Like this is a troll. And I'm like, you just need to take it at face value. Like what is OP telling you? And so you take everything you hear in life with a grain of salt. But I try to do my best to like take it for what it is. And same with the comments.

Like if there's a troll comment or someone just like they miss the mark, I ignore it. Like, I don't have to read every comment. And I've gotten criticism for that. And I'm like, I want you to read every comment? They're like, you can't skip the comments you don't like. I'm like, I sure fucking can. It's my show.

Oh, I don't touch comments. Like, I don't go near comments. No. I mean, I'm lying. I do. But like, I try not to. I will read the initial YouTube comments and then I tune out. As in the comedy world, the rule is you can't look at YouTube comments.

YouTube is the worst. That's the rule. Because you get blasted, like, you'll do a five minute set. that's like been watered down for, you know, television. Yeah. And then everyone from every random place is judging you. And it's so easy to be like, this isn't funny. So that's the common world of what people say.

You have the hardest world. Like Reddit is easy compared to your world. Oh, well, I was about to say the hardest world I've ever been in was reality TV, and I'm not allowed to look at reality TV Reddits. Oh, God. Apparently, like, rules were made. in reality TV reddits because people were being so mean to me where they're like you can't make up people's mental health. Oh my God. This is all just what like I was told like a year ago because

reality TV reddits are. I mean I just learned about snark Reddit pages like recently and I've been on Reddit for years and I just learned about snark Reddit because of another TikToker that had like old tweets come up and people were like oh on her snark page. like this and that and I was like what the fuck is a snark page yeah and it's it's crazy and like even Teffy came on and was like there's a Jesse James Decker snark page that I love and I'm just like I can't imagine hating someone so much that you invest your life and time into like going out of your way to tear them down I I didn't understand what snark was because I don't think I guess they're like saying that they're being funny where I don't consider it funny

to be mean. You're just a bully. You're just being mean but you're covering it like but we're being so entertaining and I'm like that is just the worst fucking energy and as someone who's like dealt with stuff like that I now have so much empathy for these like figures that people don't know and they love the group mentality of jumping on it and it's like I think actually yeah early on someone was like you can get your videos popular by talking shit on someone and that is like the lowest hanging fruit and honestly like that shit will eat you alive from the inside out misery loves company what are you like you're just what are you gaining by that yeah like it's feeling a little better about yourself that's the reddit i had heard about the two reddits i heard

about is snark reddit where they just like tear yeah mostly women tearing other women down and then my brother's reddit which is talking about video games and crypto so then i'm like where does morgan because i don't see you on the snarks that i'm I'm oddly on coin reddit. I like coin. Reddit. Like Bitcoin? No, like ancient coins. So I'm oddly over there and I'm in the craft pages. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. But mostly like relationship Reddit. I didn't even know this was a thing. What I do know is when my, when your relationship is going badly is when you start Googling like isn't normal if and like the Quora stuff will come up. Oh, God. Yeah. And then that's when you know you're done. It's game over.

When you're on the Reddit and someone's like, yeah, my boyfriend did that to me. You know, I've restraining order da-da-da-da-da. And you're like, oh, how did I get here? I mean, some of these people are still like I'm like couples therapy and you reestablish that trust and there's hope. So you know what? I do like that. I do like that because a lot of it is not, no one has a perfect relationship because life isn't perfect and you're going to have so many ups and downs. but it's finding someone who like wants to survive it with you and wants to be your teammate and have healthy conversation be good at fighting with you yeah how'd you meet your man's hinge good old fashion hinge yeah it was it was crazy i didn't realize he was interested in me until like the third date when he like put his hand on my leg out of movie because he's also from minnesota but we met out in l.A. on hinge and he pulled the whole like i'm from minnesota moved out here from new york and he pulled the whole like i'm from minnesota moved out here from new york

recently just trying to make some friends and I didn't reply and he's like hey sorry last-ditch effort and I was like okay okay fine so we arranged for drinks out here I got too blacked out at a bachelorette party hung over for three days flaked on him and was going to Minnesota and he was like wait I'm going to Minnesota too for like the state fair like super Midwest shit I know about the state fair the state fair is lit iconic it's actually iconic I mean you'll you'll eat your body weight and fried foods but it's lit oh my god but you burn it off walking so is that what you tell yeah yeah i walked 13 miles at the state fair last year so you're right you're right yeah and then like

he he was nuts he would get there at 6 a.m and like go until midnight doing all day or like take naps and like lining cougal chairs it's your guys it's Midwest Coachella it literally is wait what's some crazy shit you eat there uh there's alligator on a stick um just full alligator there's like deep fried Oreos, which are incredible. I like the classics, though. I'm like roasted corn on a cob, all about that. But yeah, so we had our first date in Minnesota at like my favorite college bar, Cowboy Jacks, and the rest was history. I do love that story for you. And we're obviously not relationship experts, but you have put in hours and hours on Reddit and I talk shit for a living. Well qualified. Because I had the same kind of thing with my dude where I feel like it's so corny,

Like, it's easy early on. Yeah, it was. I think I was my biggest obstacle. Like, as far as guys go, he was, like, the nicest, the most, like, comfortable with himself, the biggest advocate for pushing against toxic masculinity. Like, he is truly a unicorn. We love a feminist king. I know.

But I was, like, I was in my own head so much. Like, I was my biggest roadblock in, like, confirming the relationship. I told him no when he asked me to be his girlfriend the first time. I'm obsessed with a hard-to-get queen. Yeah, I just pushed back. I was like, no. This is going to sound controversial, but I would say the guy knows first, typically. He left the first date at Cowboy Jacks, got in the car and told his friend to print the wedding invites.

He knew immediately. I don't want to, like, project on to you, but my husband, like, second week was like, I'm going to marry you. And I was so scared. I literally was like, this man, he's going to ruin my life. What is the difference between love? bombing and him being really into you I don't fucking know because lines are real blurry sometimes real fucking blurry especially when you love the tension yeah that would be extra complicated so you're I want to know the people who listen how many is it guys and girls do you think

mostly the gals but I think there's a lot of sneaky guys who like listen with their partners yes I love that but I think I'm at like a 70 30 split these days but it used to be like at one point it was like 91 girls oh yeah that's interesting and I love the fact that it's not just like this is for the girls it's like this is about life and whoever it connects to yeah how do you think you've changed from the Morgan who is in quarantine to the Morgan sitting with me now I don't think much to be honest I think maybe a little happier but I am struggling with some burnout but I think like I think I've become more open to things and like I'm trying to have like a yes girl moment where I say yes to more things and I'm super introverted and shy

so I think but you're also battling burnout yeah so I'm trying to like come out of my bubble by like handing off the stuff that's burning me out and saying yes to more opportunities that like I usually wouldn't true true I need to delegate I need to delegate like that's my my weakness I'm kind of a control freak. Like every episode of Two Hot Takes like I've edited. Even episodes I've passed off to other people, I re-edit. You're giving me Alex Cooper's work ethic. Yeah.

Where she, to this day, edits every episode. But like, to the point that I yelled at her and I'm like, this six extra hours of editing is not like changing it, but also who am I to tell her that? Because this is her method that works. And it's crazy. And it's like, it probably wouldn't be that different if I passed it off. But it's almost the reassurance that like I can still control the narrative

that gets put out there and I want to make sure like anyone that comes on like I don't want them to have to make PR moves after them coming on my episode whether that's my friends or a guest like I want it to be fun for everyone involved including myself so it's like even if like you're like say you came on tomorrow and you're very hate men I hate the world blah blah blah I'm still going to protect you a little bit and I'm going to cut some shit out oh yeah well you also don't want negative energy surrounding it what kind of it's literally like Reddit what kind of attention do you want helping people or breaking people exactly and so i i love editing and i feel like i have such a lens after doing this and realizing what people are triggered by and what they're sensitive to that i may

be over edit for that but i'm like at the same time i'm like we're not we're still being ourselves but one hot sound bite is not going to make a break an episode that is my yes exactly that is the opposite of reality tv editing yeah yeah i know i like i had a friend recently they're like you should go on like the circle and I'm like I think I would rather die like I have wanted to be on reality TV but I'm like no I I can't I mean no do you're I'm just like I'm just like it's that look curiosity do reality TV if you're the executive producer Kardashian style you and your boy living your life whatever your pocket blown out like and you because think about you when you said you control your narrative yeah of your narrative being controlled by either

your enemies talking about you in confessionals I would die or being controlled by people who need ratings yeah and ratings come from snark so they have to no I love production I started as like a comedy video producer so I was always obsessed with like what makes good content and that's why I can see within your two out takes like how passionate you are in the production process which I think is like so fucking awesome I put so like I don't think people realize the work that goes in on the back end of my thing they're like oh you just find Reddit stories. I'm like, but I don't just pick like the top stories that week. Like I sit on stories for months. Like sometimes like now a year. I've sat on a story that I think is perfect

for a guest and it sits in that folder. Like I go overboard on curating the content. Yeah. Which is. So as an entrepreneur, when do you find time to say we can't be scrolling right now? We can't be researching. I can't be editing right now. How do you divide your week up to give yourself space? It's so bad. Especially because you have a boyfriend, too. Yeah. Yeah. He is probably at his wit's end with me.

Like, I have a really difficult time shutting off these days because I always feel like I need to be replying to people. And I'm like, if I have a free moment, there's a nice DM I could reply to to help someone or whatever. So always. And they're going to reply to that. So it'll just be a circular. Ficious cycle.

Yeah. Yeah. So I have a really hard time of shutting down. Something I am doing is like, I'll post the video and then not look at it for a couple day. I'll look at it immediately to make sure there's no problems. Like, typically if I forget to change the title of like the upload on YouTube, people will tell me. Or there's like one caption that's off and you're like, yeah. And so I'll look right away. But then for my own piece of mind, I'm like, I can't recircle that? I'm done. But even like last night at Top Gun, like, I made my boyfriend

because he had already seen it. I'm like, can you go check and see if there's more wine? Like, see if it's open still. And as he's gone, I'm like, just scrolling the comments real fast. You're self-aware. Yeah. I need to be better. That's one thing. And like, it's so annoying for me because as no tea, I did work in mental health as well. I worked in like a locked psychiatric facility and a transitional housing unit. And so I have all these positive coping strategies, but God damn, is it hard to take your own advice. Well, also because this is like real chemistry in your brain. This is real fucking dopamine hits that also equate to money. Yeah. Like you doing certain things is helping you be. So it's very hard when you have too much, almost

too much control of your life. Yeah. It would be easier if I like maybe would have from the start handed things off. Like I got approached by a couple of podcast people and they're like, we'll take on your editing, we'll do this and that. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because you were also still figuring out who you are. Yeah. So how are they going to know? Exactly. And I just think it's, again, that piece of mind of like, it's still up to me. And I, it's my business. It's my persona it's my idea it's it's me deep down did you think there was a chance it was going to blow up no no i i mean to an extent i believed in it otherwise i wouldn't have done it at all but i think the hardest part was and the reason why it did take so long i like was scrolling through text

messages between me and my friend i spent months trying to convince someone to do it with me because i didn't think I could do it on my own. I was so scared to just do it on my own. So I spent months, let's do a podcast. I got a podcast idea. Would you do a podcast with me? And the universe was showing you how hard it was to find someone being like, this is not going to work. And then you found someone, the universe was like, I told you, it's not going to work. Literally. Literally. Yeah. And it's so crazy how it worked out because that was my biggest holdup. So then when I finally did convince my friend, she was like, you know, I think our friends and family are going to be the only ones that listen and I'm you know I don't really want to like I'm too PG for you and I think that was like

you respect a PG queen yeah and so I just kind of was like well at this point is my baby yeah and I know how to edit so and also you love control so like you probably prevented some creative like yeah things that you wouldn't want to deal with exactly is it do you think TikTok was a big reason for it blowing up absolutely okay I think the sole reason because I was recently talking to like a family friend who's just like in business and he's like I want to start a podcast and I was he's a full-time job and people sometimes think that they just like put it out in the ether and people are going to hear it and I'm like no no no no one will hear it and I'm like you have to post two three six times a day I also said you're sorry to YouTube and he was like oh I can't do this so almost you

it is a full-time job like I quit OT you had to I had to like I couldn't keep doing both I I was killing myself you just can't do it it's a full-time job post scene. I have a friend who posts 14 TikToks and reels a day. Fourteen. And are they killing it? Killing it. But like, his personal YouTube is. So his personal YouTube hit a million, which is huge. That is massive. Yes. But is his podcast YouTube is only at 5,000. Yeah. It doesn't translate like you think it will. It is like marketing where you can put so much effort into the marketing and it'll go a certain way. But if the product isn't good it's not going to have longevity yeah okay you're killing it i'm obsessed with you you're very comfortable in hell and i also feel like you have good you have great like

therapist vibes but i feel like you've really put it into a modern aesthetic i don't know what that means i don't know what that meant either but it sounds it sounds good if you say aesthetic at the end of anything it sounds cool we're going to end with a final game okay called the seven deadly sins okay seven deadly sins what are you greedy about money oh yeah because I didn't have any yeah this is like I've I have only shared this with

my agent my podcast agent but I was unemployed from OT no money coming in nothing I was on food stamps before the podcast started making money like last 2021 I I had a fucking California EBT card, ShopNet Trader Joe's, and then having to whip out my credit card to pay for flowers because the EBT didn't cover it. So you were not getting the Haley Bieber $17 glow up smoothie? No, no, I was eating a lot of frozen food. Were you scared? Terrified.

There were, I mean, there were plans where I was like going to have to move in with my boyfriend and like not pay rent and live with him and his two roommates and like a little house and potentially move back to Minnesota. live at home again until I could make money. So I was terrified. And like the first month, the podcast even started making money on YouTube, which it took three months of even being on YouTube. The first month, I made $526. It's like, it's not a lot. Like people see these big followings on YouTube and they're like, you must be making so much money. And TikTok, you're blowing up, but they didn't have the creator fund. I'm not in it. I joined for a couple weeks and I made $6 after having viral videos. And then like, but like my, I felt stunted.

Like, I wasn't getting new followers. They weren't going that far. And I'm like, okay, well, I'm just stepping on my own foot here or whatever. Is it sometimes scary to feel like the algorithm can guide your money? Yeah, I'm at, I'm at like every algorithm's mercy. Yeah. Literally my husband the other day. Because I had like a week on TikTok.

actually my TikTok got this is such a TikTok nerdy Convo but my TikTok randomly got banned once and I messaged someone and I was like I don't know what happened they go there was a bug but because it got banned I feel like it like took out a lot of the like data

behind my account and it almost was like I was starting from scratch and I was like easily every time post a video would get minimum like 150K and the next thing I was like 20K and I was like what happened and my husband was like are you said because you TikTok

Gatherum's not good this week and I'm like, I don't want to talk about it. But like, it's so disheartening though. I'm currently working on my therapist, with my therapist on not having my happiness rely on external things,

which is very difficult. Who are you envious of? Hmm. Probably my friends. And this is, this is interesting. It's gotten better, but like some of my,

there's been a lot on the back end of the podcast that like everyone's kind of, have been struggling to feel appreciated in their own way. And so a lot of my friends that came on, especially when it wasn't making any money, did it out of the kindness of their heart. I have amazing friends. I really do. But then we got to a point where it's like, well, now you are making money. I don't feel appreciated. And so we're still kind of trying to find our footings and how do we navigate this thing? Because no one anticipated this. I'm not a creator. I wasn't a manager. I'm not a business owner. I am now, but it wasn't. And so it's just been this crazy back and forth.

And so I kind of watched myself over, you know, the course of the show's success blowing up. And they got to come on and, like, have fun drinking and shooting the shit with me and putting in, you know, that was work for them still. But they also didn't say no to things. They went out on the weekends. They developed, you know, closer relationships. And so I felt like for a while I was kind of the outsider looking in on my own life. And so it's getting better now. And we're like, I'm trying to have them edit.

and we're pushing boundaries and things like that to try to make sure everyone's happy with the dynamic. Working with friends in general is hard, but also you're, I love talking, you're almost like, you're freshly in the public eye. So weird. It is so fucking traumatizing in a way where, let's say, like, once a month someone would hit me up for coffee. Yeah. I got on TV, five people a week would be hitting me up for coffee. Oh my God. And then you're like, the old hand always says yes.

You know, like I want everyone to like me. And then you realize, oh, you've no time for yourself. Then there's the friends who start to act different with you than the friends who are like, you're using me or you think I'm using you. Like that becomes a thing. And that's just more money more problems. Literally. Biggie Smalls. He knows what he's talking about.

He did, yeah. Okay. What do you glutton us about? What do you overindulge in? Besides Reddit. Reddit, I mean, social media in general, I got to get better about shutting it down. But I don't know. Like stress shopping.

Oh, I love a stress shop. But I return it. So I don't keep it because I have a weird relationship with money now because I have it and I don't spend it. Like people ask me for $50 and I like get upset about it. It's so weird. I'm the same way with money where I've only been making money for about. about two years. And I don't know you, I'm a control freak too. So I want to spend it, but I literally don't know how to spend it. I only know how to be tight about it. I just had

Annie Letterman on the pot and she gave me, this is a little woo-woo L.A. advice, but I think it's worth saying. She's like, there's energy around money, like the money manifestation and the idea of abundance where like if you hold your money tight, it's going to want to leave you. But if you have money just passing through in and out, it flows with a very positive energy. and they say like the more you spend, the more you make, which is also just what you could tell yourself after a binge on, you know, Zara. This is, I don't know if anyone, like,

listening believes in this shit, but I'm like, this is coming together for me right now. So when you ask me, like, the gluttonous thing, I'm like, I honestly, besides, like, the stress shopping, but I return, I don't really have anything, except maybe donuts. But, but literally. To fried Oreos.

Yeah. But I went to this, like, event recently, and they had an aura photographer. And I got my aura picture. you're taken and he literally told me he goes you need to spend money he goes take your budget and blow it spend the money and I'm like okay the fuck are you sabotaging me for bitch like he's right you doing my life has actually changed recently because in the last two months I hired a stylist which is the most on she did this she did this is good and your body suit yesterday all not me

not me so I I don't like doing good things for myself because it's like why do you deserve it it's always like why why would you get this i want to work work work so people started viewing me differently when i was wearing nicer clothes and then i started getting opportunities just because i was and i'm like the least materialistic person ever this is a fake product and i yeah but it was it's it's like even annie letterman came in with louis Vuitton bag like the newest one and in my head i'm like what the fuck did you need to buy that and then she's walking around and people are like treating her differently and i'm not saying you like should by designer and stuff, I'm more saying

it's how you're treating yourself that then people start treating you. Even like your space, I always used to live in a shitty apartment. And recently I'm like, I'm going to hire an interior designer. And then I think you then start thinking like, holy fuck, I'm successful. Yeah. But if you treat yourself like

a not successful hated bitch, people start treating you like that. I know. Well, it's crazy what manifestation can do too. Like, just manifesting that. And like, I don't care. I go and D.H.G. at all the time. The only nylon prodig I'm going to buy is from D.HC. I'm not buying a nylon bag for $1,500. That's called just science.

No. The one, like, actual designer purse I have, like, I have a bunch of coach stuff because my mom used to work there. Honestly, coach, underrated fire right now. Literal fire. I love it. So cute. I love it. So, I bought my first, like, Gucci purse, but I got it half off at the rack.

I got a $2,400 purse for $1,200, which is still insane money. realize that that's insane but it's the first thing like since having money i've like ever bought for myself i'm like this feels good i just think of like those horrible stories of like really famous people or famous athletes who they're like and then 10 years later they were bankrupt and i'm like that's gonna be me because i bought one bag i think that way though it's hard because i'm like what if the podcast like what if i got canceled tomorrow i don't know if it's because i'm from brooklyn but like i love consignment love thrifting but yeah even like yeah you could get hit by a car tomorrow not on wood. Yeah. You can't live like, you can't live like that. No. When was the last time you

experienced extreme anger? Do you have an angry side to you or you always Minnesota nights? No, I blow up. Oh, good for you. Yeah, I think I, well, I let it out. I bottle. I don't like to address things in the moment. Same. So I really bottle things up sometimes. Um, the biggest blowout I think I've had in recent times is like my dad was dating this woman and she, She didn't want to be with my dad. She wanted my dad to be, like, the platonic bestie. And so she had, like, a 16-year-old son. And my dad is not my dad.

He, like, adopted me because he was dating my mom. And it's a messy story. Okay. It's so messy. Yeah. But he's my adoptive dad, but my dad. And so this woman was dating him, like, but not dating him, like, totally cuckolding him. And she asked him after less than a year of my dad.

knowing him will you adopt my son he needs a strong male role model and my dad told me he was thinking about it and I go what the fuck does that do to our relationship like you're you don't even know this kid and so I chucked a piece of watermelon at him yeah that was love a fruit flying queen was not my finest moment was it the whole watermelon or a slice it was the baby a slice but I also didn't talk to him for like four days after I was so pissed but also that makes sense because of your own experience with adoption. It really affects... It just felt like it invalidated it.

I'm like, you're going to pick up any kid off the street, which if they need it, like, yeah, you're a good guy, but like, this kid doesn't need it. He's just 16 and smoking too much weed and his mom's a psychopath. You know what? She speaks the truth. When was the last time you let your ego get in the way of something?

How's your ego doing? I... As weird as it is to say, I feel like I don't have one that much. That's good. I wouldn't say it's so much ego, but I had someone that, like, basically was, like, put in my lap. I had multiple people, like, asking me to, like, you should have him on an episode. You should have him on an episode.

And I, like, was like, okay, yeah, he would be a great fit. He'd be funny. Whatever. And the team reached out, and they were like, well, we'd love to have them on, but we need the episode, like, a certain day in advance so we could make our own edits. And I'm like, I'm not doing that. So maybe that is like a form of ego coming out. But I'm like, I've never done that for anyone. And I was like, you can have PR sit in the room.

No, that's basically them being like, we know what's better for your episode. And if- It was weird. And that can actually hinder the quality of your content because of like his needs when it's like he needs you right now. Yeah. And it was just like, it's one of those things where I'm like, I make so many accommodations for my guests that come on.

Like you can have whoever in the room. I want two apple juices tomorrow. I will get them. Don't tempt me. I'll give you my writer. I literally say to people, I'm like, if you say something in the moment, stop yourself, back it up, start over, I'll edit it out. Or if you realize after a couple days later, like, I don't edit, I edit Wednesdays. My episodes come out Thursdays.

I'm a procrastinator. I need the pressure. Yeah. We, Paige and I record on Monday and it comes out Monday night. Literally, I've done that turnaround too where you record Wednesday. It's the best time. It just, you would just get through it so fast. And so I was just like, that's not my style.

You can fix in the moment, but sorry, not making that accommodation. It is a nice, it is a nice to feel like you have a little bit of power to say no to things. Yeah. Who is your celebrity crush? I don't have, like, someone just showed me this one man. And I don't know, I don't even know his name, but I'm excited to find out more. It's the first person I've been like wait

He's hot Like I don't really have crushes I love Nicholas Cage But in a weird Like I want him to be my uncle way Yeah But this man I was like

This is the first man I've like done a double take on Hassan Piker Let me see I gotta pull it up on Google now So hot Like so hot Also like I saw Top Gun last night

Miles Teller really started doing it for me I'm like I turned to my boyfriend I'm like we should try a muscle Oh no, it's everyone going to have a mustache. Everyone is coming back, maybe, it's coming back. God, guys in their mustaches, it's like they get so fucking proud of it, and it's like you didn't do anything but be lazy on your upper lip, you know?

Yeah, but it also takes some effort to curate just that top lip. Don't give them credit. Don't give them credit. Don't make their heads big. I don't know what he does. He's like, I guess in movies, but also an activist, I keep hearing about him in like political context so I'm like I'm I try to be very woke on the politics even though I don't talk about them ever but I was like oh I need to do some research so this might be a new one final question

yes final question what do you do to cope with your hell when you're going through it and it's dark what would you tell the listeners our little devils some of coping mechanisms get out of your space whatever your space is that you're in that's like overwhelming you frustrating you blocking you leave it like if i'm on the couch with my cat get your ass up get your ass up you know how hard it is to move the cat yeah yeah you got to move the cat take it for a walk get one of those little buggies strollers put your cat in it get the fuck out of your head get out of the house get out of your head just changing your space something's so simple like it's almost like the reframing you talked about where it's like look at it in a different perspective you just you got to

start moving got to move i love the simplicity of that and this is coming from a very smart human being yeah Morgan you are so fucking amazing and I'm so excited to see all the things you're going to do because you've just like started on your like path of alignment I'm just a little baby right now I'm not the baby podcaster oh my god I'm gonna have you on in like three years and I'm gonna have to like go through like 10 PR people to get you but um where where can people listen to you follow you give me all the deeds okay so the podcast YouTube Instagram TikTok two hot takes TWO hot takes and then my personal you just search Morgan Absher and it it pops up. I'm obsessed. Thank you guys for coming to hell. We'll talk to you later. Bye.