Berner Phone - My Family: Mom Advice & Brother Reveal

Episode Date: October 20, 2022

It's a family reunion! I'm in the middle of my midwest tour and stopped by Indiana to see my brother, his wife, and meet my newborn niece! My mom starts the episode giving us advice, then Jeanie (my sister-in-law and new mom) comes on to discuss the realities of pregnancy that people don't talk about. She also tells us what baby products are worth buying and which ones you shouldn't waste your time with. Lastly, my brother comes on and I make him answer some of my 'Han on the Street" questions from TikTok and we get surprisingly deep. Enjoy my fam! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Burning Animal What's up? I am jet setting the world right now. I am in Monster, Indiana. And guess what? It's a family episode. You are getting the burners.

We're having my mom on. Then I'm going to have new mom genie come through. And then the first. ever sighting of my brother hopefully hopefully i was like dana you want to come on and he was like okay so we'll see i kind of want to ask him some man on the street questions and see how he holds up i am currently in indiana this weekend i'm going to be in grand rapids and then i have mediapolis then nashville alabama hannah burn dot com you guys know what's going on look at me with the admin i'm feeling good i just had a nap and i'm with my mom who's been traveling with me on my midwest tour

How's it been? We're surviving on the road. Just two road dogs. Road dogs. Road dogs. Hashtag road dogs. I was, you know, this was my test for how I can handle the mom and your job. And I don't know.

How'd I do? Chris Jenner doesn't have shit on you. I'll tell you that right now. Yeah, we're just destroying hotel rooms, leaving. No, that's just me destroying bathrooms because we had too much cheese in Wisconsin. But it was. let's face it i'm really just your chauffeur your mom you're my chauffeur you're my emotional support system you wake me up when i nap we had fun in milwaukee wisconsin yeah madison you guys i got to see my old school

and it is crazy how beautiful your campus looks when you're not crying um i had like i was obviously playing tennis so i had all these workouts and all this pressure and to go back and just see the school for what it is, which is these beautiful lakes, state street, amazing food, nice people, these sweet kids just walk into school. You see how so much is what you do in your own head. It's not about where you are. It's how you think about it. It was so fun to be there again. We hadn't been there since 2015 when Daniel graduated. Yes. And they don't shy on the food at all. I mean, the best burgers cheese curds um bloody mary's through the fucking roof i'm like why is there a full cow in my bloody mary so but yeah mom you you had fun you had a bunch of burgers so much fun we ate our weight

in burgers and cheese curds and you guys have been requesting my mom to come back because she's an insightful badass bitch and she knows more than me so i figured if i'm going to give some advice let's bring my mom on so i think we get right to it are you ready okay let's just start with it's spicy when is it green flags to get back with an ex you've never dabbled with an ex i've never my mom is like once we're done we're done well yeah whatever it was that made you break up with that person like i mean unless changes have been made that that that same feeling is going to come back to you, I think. I think I've never gone back to an ex because I do kind of like change where some people

enjoy comfort over change more. And yeah, you might be comfortable, but trust your gut. I always say remember the feeling when he made you feel worse. Because your memory, like think of horrible things that happened to you. You'll have weird times where you like miss it. And because you have rose-colored glasses with the past. You have to really find those painful moments and fucking think about it and remember it because your mind's playing tricks on you.

Also, if he broke up with you and now he wants to get back together, deep down, you're always going to remember that, like, at one point, he didn't want to be with you. And, like, you don't fucking deserve that. Yeah. Is that too harsh? No, I just think, like, whatever... There's so many tall men in the sea, guys.

Yeah. Whatever your gut was, it's probably still true. Mm-hmm. How did you raise... Ooh, how did you raise a confident daughter? coming from a mom of three young daughters someone someone also wrote right below how do i become more confident and not be a sad potato i'll tell you about how i feel like i am confident then you could kind of speak on how to raise a confident girl slash yourself because you're a very very confident

person in a very um humble way i would say i'm confident because there's no one else in the world like me and i'm saying that because you should feel the exact same way if you're trying to fit yourself into a mold or be like other people you'll always be comparing yourself even when it comes to like dating there's no one who looks just like me there's no one who has my energy there's no one who has whatever i have so it's like there'll be someone out there who wants exactly what you are if you stay authentic to yourself and you get that x factor when you're not just trying to act like what you think someone would like or what a confident girl would be like

be comfortable in your skin as in just like I mean that's a fucking loaded thing to say be comfortable in your skin but it's like you find you have to be kind to yourself to be comfortable on your skin I think people can tell

when you've been kind to yourself versus if you're mad at yourself or disgusted by yourself I mean I think people have different strategies to kind of self-soothed when they're feeling insecure. I mean, for me, I think I always felt like if I went to school for something, like that would boost my confidence.

It's like, oh, I'm educated in this thing and I have a master's in this thing. So I, you know, I'm like trying to convince myself, oh, I'm qualified to do whatever this job is or something. That's what, you know, would give me confidence in some of my career things. but that's not necessarily like what gives you confidence i mean like my new career is something that i don't have that in and so i've had a lot of like imposter syndrome with singing but like the more i perform the you know i joke with my musician friends like oh i'm self-taught you know because a lot of them went to great schools to become musicians and but the more i do it and the more like

musicians tell me that I'm good it makes me feel more confident and you're uniquely you on stage I do think that confidence like can get skewed when you think you know what other people think of you yeah and first it's being like not that many people are thinking that much of you as in like they're worried about their own shit yeah like looking around and being like everyone's insecure about their stuff so so own your shit as just what makes you uniquely you like even with guys I was never confident that I was like the prettiest girl under any means I just thought like I'm different like I'm like I'm weird not weird but I'm like I'm uniquely me and if they like that they're not going to get it anywhere else and I'm trying to like get away from like um compliments like people saying

oh you're you're you're getting so good with each year and like and I'm trying to like not let those comments affect me good or bad because you know i just keep saying well you know if the venue keeps hiring me back i guess that's all the assurance i need oh my god not like oh you're you're you're so good or i think you're talented or like because if i just keep waiting for those comments um well then they have too much weight yeah they have too much they have too much weight i just have to be like oh i'm prepared i've practiced these 20 songs a gazillion times my band is good and we're ready to go and just have fun. It's so funny you said that because I think when I first started doing comedy,

I would really attach on, like, after the show, did people come up to me and say, like, that was amazing. But I'm at the point where I kind of forgot about that, and I really don't care. Like, no one says anything to me after the show. Like, I'm thinking about the next show. I'm not waiting for that assurance, because then you're, like, nitpicking, like, every single thing they said.

Yeah, yeah. And you're giving them too much power, but sometimes people don't give you confidence, because, like, they don't give you compliments because they just assume you know how good you are. Right, that, that too. But I have, the only way you're going to have, like, fun with, if you're in a job where you're performing a lot is just if you just do it for yourself and just not worry about what everybody's, if you worry about what everyone's thinking, how can you even, like, get the words out?

Ooh, that's powerful. I do think you are uniquely confident, like, in your body, but you're not very obsessed with your looks. Does that make sense? Like, I was always raised thinking, like, my mom is, you know, so beautiful, but you never talked about looks as being very important. How did you get to that mindset? That's funny. Someone asked that question, right? Someone asked, I was looking at the questions.

someone asked how to avoid passing on my own lifelong body image issues to my own daughter because it was a huge anxiety for this person who wrote to you Hannah I think I learned to never talk about weight in front of you never talk about your weight or anybody's like body or weight because kids will hear that yeah you said something powerful to me the other day where you were like even if you're not commenting on your kids weight if they hear you commenting on other people's weight they're not stupid or your own or your own weight they assume that you're thinking the same way about them don't comment on looks don't talk about dieting I mean, kids are like sponges, right?

So even if they're not thinking about their own, but they'll absorb the anxiety you're having about your own issues. So it's just like, just be, like, sensitive to that because then the children will learn, like, to be anxious about, like, as if you have no control over yourself. Or that it's something that people really care about, so you have to get it right. I honestly didn't care about it.

I mean, maybe it's because my mother was so gorgeous, I just felt like, I can't compete with that. So I never, I was just like, well, I'm not the person in the house that's good looking. You wanted to be smart. Yeah, I just wanted to go to school. And I just, I was focused on so many other things. I didn't focus on my looks at all. And it wasn't until, I didn't even ever exercise much until after I gave birth to you.

And I started running because I just, I, it was. was the easiest thing to do. And I genuinely enjoyed it. It was like a meditation. And when you're a new mom and you have two little kids, you gotta do something quick, fast. And I love being outside. So I would just go running for even the shortest amount of time,

20 minutes, I don't even know. Hot girl jog. Yeah, like I would, and then I got, I started to just like really enjoy it and get better at it. And I was running 5Ks and 10Ks just for fun. Like, and it feels like a great, accomplishment especially when you were never like I was always athletic but I was never like like in love with exercise per se yeah to be healthy yes but I remember as a kid like you

take us on a stroller and running around and just finding those fun little outdoor activities that aren't based on like when I work out now I do it for my mental health because I mean how many Instagram posts do we have to see of girls showing the photo of them like looking their skinniest and being like this was when I was my most miserable and there's too many girls who are like you don't know how much they're restricting to like get to this point yeah no I never I never did it like because I had to do it like I did it because I wanted to do it and honestly I only ran on the weekends because I was always so busy working yeah I didn't wake up early to work out never ever but granted Nana and Papa have good genes so I haven't had you know I'm not struggling with like a weight

problem i was just doing it to just be healthy and yeah mentally have fun but it's so funny how like if you have daughters you can train their brain for like what matters and it's i always joke about not decentering how you should decenter men from your life but i realize like it's literally like i want my daughter to not think male attention is the most important thing in this world well we never said things to you like oh you look so pretty you never said that we not that you weren't beautiful not that you aren't But, like, Mom, I literally, like, to this day, I don't actually know if I'm, like, beautiful. Like, people come on my foot and be, like, beautiful. And I can't tell if they're like, oh, she looks good for her.

Or if they actually think. Like, but I also, like, just literally don't care. It doesn't matter. Like, I don't care. It just doesn't matter, right? Because also, beauty's in the eye of the fucking beholder. It's probably people who think I'm disgusting looking. And there's probably people that, like, think I'm a model.

And, yeah, it's something I couldn't control. And, again, I wasn't consciously doing these things, but I did kind of dress you like a boy. Yeah. Or I should just say, I put you in very gender neutral colors, and I always put you in sneakers because I wanted you to be functional and comfortable, and I wanted you to run and play. And I wasn't going to put you in like, you know, something that wasn't comfortable. Think of whenever you see a little girl on the street and everyone always goes, you look so pretty. And that shows them that that's the most important thing that you want to be.

So I really consciously, over the last couple of years, whenever I see a little girl, I'll be like, oh, you're strong. Yeah. Y'all, you're smart. That's a cool outfit. Yeah. Because, like, what would you say to a boy? And if you're constantly just telling girls, they're pretty, like, there's a reason.

They say your first seven years, your whole, like, life is formed. Yeah. Which is kind of scary. And it's very scary. I know. But, yeah, we were just always, like, playing games with you and just not really focusing on our looks. I did try to get a boyfriend. do you remember when I was in kindergarten they called you because oh no I cornered a boy I cornered that boy James oh that was on a play date and I tried to kiss them yeah I was always the aggressor you know I think he cried speaking of men people want to know your first impression of you meeting des oh my gosh what yeah well well the funny thing about meeting does was

you know the fact that he's a public figure it wasn't like you met some random person like he was on podcast he was on television like we could easily look him up and like see who he was but i really i've dated guys in the public guy before like comedians where you can consume all their content and think you know them and it gives you a skewed view of who they are so i personally was like avoiding all the online stuff but but when i But I, you were away filming and he was, you know, doing podcasts and we were all in lockdown still. And I just remember like hearing him talk about meeting you on a podcast and thinking, oh my gosh. But to cut to when I actually first met him, what could I say? He's dashing. He was, you know, great conversationalist. He obviously was like so into you and he was so sweet. he brought us that plant

Oh yeah I picked it out Oh my God I remember And he had dinner Like he was just I mean I was so impressed by him I still am I mean my mom when it comes to men We'd both be guilty in early phases

Being like this guy's cute And we talk about that But you once you know he's not the one You'd be like Yes and someone asked a question around that what was the question it was about how long oh yeah um what would before des what was your most common advice that you would give hannah when dating and you're right in the beginnings we might be like saying oh my god Hannah he's so cute filling in all the blanks that you don't know of yet you're like

but by the time you were in your mid 20s I was like if you were going out with a guy for like six months eight months I'd be like Hannah what's going on okay what's going on are you marrying this guy No? Okay. Move on. Next. Oh, yeah. Next. I had this weird thing with dating where like I liked to date, but I would know like I would never marry this guy. Because I guess in your early 20s, you're definitely not marrying anyone. Yeah, I mean, not that I was like trying to get you married or anything, but I just felt like there were certain guys. I just felt like, okay, this is obviously not going anywhere. Why are we wasting time here? Yeah, I think I would just like the attention of a situation.

And I also liked knowing that I didn't care to marry them. So it was like upper hand. in the dating world um but i which i think was fun like i definitely my first love i thought i was going to marry him for a second and we were all really into that but that's like your first love but then dating in your 20s is literally just doing research like date a guy from england date you know an athlete date a comedian date whoever and then decide who is right for you and don't go all in on these relationships but also know when to hold them and when to fold them and i'll fold that shit i'll get the second i realize like it's not for me i can't fake it with them one of your little devils asked related to that um i just moved to little rock for a boy who can't commit

we've been together two years stick it out or go back north i mean not get married well can't commit i mean that can mean anything he's cheating he's he doesn't uh first of all we love little rock um yes we'll pig suey get out i said go home girl get get out yeah i mean if some guy is like that honest with you and says can't commit and you're there two years and you've been there too you i mean just get on with your life i really have to say you know the feeling when you meet a new friend and you're immediately obsessed with each other and it's effortless and you have a new best friend that's how it feels with the right dude and you don't have time to make it work or force it with these guys who are you feel like you have to trick to like make

them a good boyfriend because we don't have time for that We don't have time. No. Okay, what else do we have? Ooh, I love this. Advice for girls in their 20s feeling lost. First of all, I would say it's normal. Your 20s are your most lost period of time.

I don't know if it's like brain development or just college or just, you know, beginnings of careers. But just know it's normal. I think anyone looks back on their 20s and just think, what the heck was that um i think the problem is that people put all this pressure on your 20 is that like it's the best years of your life wrong it's the hottest use of your life wrong it's the um like most exciting time you know Forbes 30 under 30 like no your 20s you've literally just popped out of college you don't know anything and you don't you've never even lived on your own and people

are expecting all this stuff of you your 20s is literally survival mode just you're just researching and finding out what you don't like there's a reason why at 25 everyone starts you know becoming yoga teachers because they hate what they originally thought life would be so don't be afraid to change um try everything you know and don't be so hard on yourself i mean i think like with my generation we were still kind of getting married in our 20s and and having families and like that didn't feel bad either because we were all like everybody confused about our careers and it's like oh well let's try being a mom because that looks like fun too and it always is so fulfilling and you feel so accomplished um you know but then but then i had to go through a lot of career

changes in my 30s um so it's i just have a random i think the whole teacher situation it's oh my god teachers are literally building our future but it's hilarious because there's all these like dramas in it like oh schools are just full of drama full of drama i mean if you can't i mean not even talking about the kids running around with scissors but there's all someone said um i'm a new teacher how do i navigate a school run by mean teacher clicks oh my gosh yeah which i feel like is true in a lot of work situations so i don't know if all your devils your little devils no i was a teacher and then I was a principal for the last 14 years

of my 26 years in the Department of Education in New York City so I mean I did notice even as a principal there being like little cliques of teachers but it's like a sorority especially when it's like mostly one of them I don't think any company has like

clicks or friend groups but I think schools are uniquely like large and there's like floors and there's um yeah verticals I would just say, you know, if you love your job and you love your students and you, you know, you find a lot of fulfillment in teaching, you know, keep it going.

And the good thing about schools is there's a lot of change and turnover. I'm sure a friend will show up, you know, don't be afraid to have lunch with a random teacher you don't really know, like really make an effort to hang out with maybe the teachers that you don't normally gravitate to because, you know, a lot of interesting people do go went to teaching and you can find your friend and I think you're right like you do not need a click if you can find one person to have your back I was always more of like a one-on-one person I'm not as I'm not as good in groups yeah because sometimes like yeah you don't know the group dynamic you don't know the history of the group there's like a whole fucking hierarchy in the group I'm like I just

want a friend yeah I mean your students are going through the same issues true I mean someone asked about homeschooling versus you know regular school and I guess the pandemic taught us that staying at home is not great for kids all the time. And I know there's different ways of doing homeschooling, but I think I would still opt for the socialization, although sometimes crazy and toxic, you know, I think school, going to school wins out. Okay, someone wants to know one thing they'd be surprised to know about me. Coming from my own mother.

Oh my gosh. You know what I would say that you're actually really quiet when you're not, you know, doing your work and performing and stuff. I'm telling you, I'm telling the gigglers and the devils. Hannah's actually very quiet. Like I could spend a whole day with her and she won't even talk. I mean. Unless I ask her a question. You mean like, well, I feel like we love having Deep's conversations.

Yeah. Like, yeah, like I'm not always on. No, I think your default is actually a very, like, quiet person. And also, maybe people don't know that you're actually great with kids. You love little kids. You guys, I have to announce it on the pod and Des is going to kill me. But like, after this visit, meeting my niece Lois, I want it be me. Do you get that on Amazon?

Can I get in on Amazon? Do you hear her screaming and crying out of that? She's going to cry and I want her. I even told Dads, I was like, the crying is literally so cute. It's like, we have to hurry because I have to go help with the baby. Oh, no. I actually, I was just going to say, because I liked all those questions, I want to, I do feel like my motherly instincts will come. I'm navigating just as like a stand-up comedian where I want to travel.

And this is a time where like people are buying tickets and I'm so excited and I love my hour that I've been working on and I want to do a special. And then you also have this urge to have a baby. so it's finding out there's everyone's like there's no really right time and I know navigate it right but we'll see what happens we're not trying for a kid but I'm definitely after this experience of meeting Lois not as scared to have a kid yeah because I haven't dealt with a newborn like ever yeah I mean we're all terrified when it happens but but seeing the day to day and how we've been navigating it like guys I changed a diaper like a fucking pro you did you did and I feel like children help you get out of

of your own head. Like, I don't want to have a child because I'm depressed, but it's like, I feel like there's more to life than just waking up and worrying about your own shit. Oh, 100%. And I don't mean to sound that in a sad way. I just feel like I do think we are meant to have families and, you know, whether you can be pregnant or not, whether you're adopting, whether, just like you need to have people around you.

Speaking of parenting, I thought this was a really interesting question. one of your listeners said how to address reparenting with a parent without making them feel guilty like you're blaming them so if you missed it the last podcast i had with my mom we talked a lot about reparenting which is when you want to have bad self-talk you realize oh that's from my past of how people have spoken to me and i can actually transition and reparent myself and say you know what no i'm proud of you or it's okay that you failed or any of you that you need to change in your perspective yeah and I I think back um like we've talked about the term reparenting so much that um I I don't feel like you're blaming me or your dad for stuff it's just like it's almost just situational it's cultural it's like timing like if you're capable of reparenting that means that you you've done well right I feel like it's just a term for like better communication and cycle breaking that you know you could just move forward with like I think back to things that happened to my childhood and I think like oh you know maybe the adults should

have done this this and this but they just didn't know I'm not blaming them there's also some things that the adults could have let you figure it out on yourself I think that self-soothing is a form of reparenting where it's like it's a thin line between like trying to parent so well versus also knowing when to step back and let your kid figure stuff out for themselves to gain confidence in themselves to know they can self-soothe in certain problems and if you can at our age stop and reparent yourself and tell yourself what you want that you wanted to hear that you didn't hear as a kid that is fucking empowering yeah yeah I'm magical yeah I've been trying to do that too even at 58 years old we have been on the journey of reparenting together which has been

super bonding and the more like whenever I learn something from my therapist I'll tell my mom and whenever you learn something you'll tell me and it has helped us grow and I do think we'll have moments where we'll be like okay this is our anxiety talking like we'll literally stop a a stressful conversation where one of us maybe is like obsessing over something and we'll be like hey you realize that's your anxiety right so we'll step out of it where before we like talk about it for a week yeah just like I can't figure this out where now we'll be like I'm getting really good. I'm getting really good at that.

Like last night when I went to go to sleep and I couldn't shut Daniel's computer down. Oh yeah. Like I was lit. My brain was just like going into anxiety mode like, oh my God, I'm not going to be able to sleep. This light is so bright. And I'm just like, no, no, no, no, no. Stop. Just go ask Hannah to help you turn this off.

And you will have a normal night's sleep. And I'm like, I've tried everything. And I'm like, we'll get to the bottom of this. No, but the old me would have just like suffered. in silence and like tried to go to sleep with a giant bright light on because I didn't want to bother Daniel or you because everyone was sleeping the baby was like well I was like on my phone you were up on TikTok I was like I'm going to solve this problem I used to something would upset me and even though I knew I shouldn't be upset or like it was something stupid if it got stuck in my brain

I'd have to call you and say mom this person said this to me or this happened to me am I okay and you and I need you to say it's going to be okay and then I'd move on where now I realize Oh, I don't, it was like an OCD that I needed you to tell me it was going to be okay, which is not self-soothing. Now I go, oh, this is anxiety. You don't need to ask your mom. It's your anxiety. Because you can literally, like, things are happening that are fucked up all the time around you.

It's literally what you decide to latch on to. And you've learned to trust yourself more. And that's enormous. That's hard, though, because trusting yourself means you have to actually take the risk to listen to yourself, to even gain confidence that you, you can trust your gut. Yeah. And that is something that your early 20s you don't have.

True. And if you're in your 20s listening right now, which we have a lot of little devils in their 20s, what I'm saying is just be kind to yourself and figure out what brings you joy. Wow, this is some Brunei Brown shit right now. Mom, thank you so much for coming out. You're welcome.

It's your turn to take care of the baby. Yeah, I got to go rock the baby. We're going to bring on Jeannie Deelow. I'll go get her. Oh my gosh. we have Jeannie Diedelow, who is my brother's wife. Yes, his wife. He's my husband.

You guys have been together since we were all in college together at University of Wisconsin. We've been together 10 years now. I'm married for one. I know. So you guys have always been the couple that my family was like, oh, thank God. Dino met someone nice. Stability.

And then they were just like had dinners with me while I was like crying about reality TV or crying about like losing a boyfriend or whatever the fuck you've been through it all yeah well you guys just weren't a nice stable healthy relationship um but one thing about genie is she does not hold back which i've always loved about you you were i always say it's my best and worst quality right like i'm i'm very honest and you know straightforward but it can also be a little much sometimes some would say jarring but some would say would they but but but but You always know where you stand, how you feel, and I respect it, especially when women are taught to be such like, you know, caretakers all the time. Make sure everyone around them is okay before

they're okay. Right. Why do you think you have that quality of just being like, I'm assertive, I know what I want, and I'm not going to, I don't care if it makes some people uncomfortable around me because I have boundaries. Have you met my mother? True. Yeah. So my mom is honestly, I mean, she's just a wonderful, amazing woman who had her. first kid at 18 my brother and then she ended up going back to college and becoming a lawyer and now she's a magistrate in the courts and she really is the one who taught me to be you know speak up for what you think and believe in and you know we're sometimes a little too opinionated um or not even too opinionated but just like you don't have to say everything that comes to your mind but yeah it's

definitely uh stems from her and both our moms have been like powerful. women so I think that's also why we maybe Daniel fell in love with you well you know everyone commented on that so much at our wedding because um my mom was the uh officiant um and then your mom gave a speech and saying our first dance and so everyone was like wow it just feels like you know women empowerment this wedding and so many like strong female characters yeah the dads weren't invited yeah but even there um So, yeah, we have like, we have really good role models in general. And our parents and their marriages and I didn't even think about that with the wedding. I just was like, obviously we're not having my, my dad would make like stupid jokes.

He'd get up there and like spaz out and be like, uh, he's got long arms. Oh my God. Yeah. Our families, we don't know what we would do if we didn't have the moms holding the backbone. But congratulations, you are a new mom. I am a new mom. She's five weeks old tomorrow. Oh, my.

God. And like we're so biased, but she's the cutest. I'm like so in love with this baby. And a little background on Jeannie. She was a NICU and label labor nurse. Yeah. Sorry, I was so focused on trying to pronounce NICU, right? Because I've been saying NICU. So yeah, I did NICU in Manhattan for some time. And then we moved to Indiana and then I switched to labor and delivery. So I have, you know, I had a lot of, you know, almost too much knowledge going into this whole pregnancy delivery baby situation. And I feel like the girlie's listening and the gays, they might want a child in the future or already have a child or not want kids at all, but it's interesting to hear what the fuck's going on with that lifestyle. Yeah. But I feel like you are so fucking knowledgeable about

babies and you just had your own. So I want to do a little hot take segment with you on what do people not tell the normal woman who's pregnant about pregnancy? I honestly, they're are just so many things that I obviously knew happened, but when they're happening to you, it's like, oh my God, why don't people talk more about how horrible this is? I had a really rough beginning of my pregnancy, like the first trimester. I was really sick, just like nauseous and vomiting all the time. I lost a bunch of weight. Basically felt like I had the flu for like seven weeks.

And I think towards the end, I started getting a little depressed because you just feel so terrible day in and day out. And, you know, a lot of people don't even know that you're pregnant yet. It's kind of isolating. Well, yeah, because you're not really showing. Yeah, at all. But you feel like complete shit. And they tell you like, oh, don't tell anyone until you get out of the first trimester. I told a lot of people, honestly, I told like all of our main support people because you need that support because it's so awful. And, you know, not everyone feels that way. I have friends who are like, I didn't feel a thing. And I was like, fuck you. I can curse, right? Yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. So, So anyways, yeah, so that was the biggest shock to me is like I knew that would be nauseous.

Oh, I thought, you know, have some crackers before I get out of bed, a little ginger ale. It was not that. It was for real. So that was really hard for me. And it's not your fault because, I mean, an article just came out in the New York Times about how like there's been like no research on clitoris. Clitter eye. So you don't know if you know how to pronounce it. Is that right?

All right. Yeah. But like, because so much. Research, I guess, is dominated by men. And, like, I even did a man-the-stree interview, and guys don't know the shape of a clitoris. Like, it was fucking crazy. And I started just having this, like, realization that, like, there's not been enough research or just talk about women's bodies in general.

I even think, like, I know tampons work, but I'm like, is that really the best thing to come up with, shoving a con ball, upper-puss? So, um... Maybe, maybe that's our next business venture. Maybe. So I do think with pregnancy, sometimes you feel guilty because you haven't heard. heard all these things they don't warn you enough about like or it's not like as open I feel like women have pressure to just be make everyone comfortable around them and be like I'm doing great

and they like are women are so fucking strong just like gritting their teeth yeah through it I mean it's just so many things about pregnancy that people um kind of you know fantasize I don't know what the word is but they make it seem like okay you should always be so happy that you're pregnant and that like everything is wonderful and you know you're just like carrying this baby and it's the best thing of your life and it is but there are things about it that are really hard like the first 12 weeks of my pregnancy I couldn't even like process or enjoy the fact that I was pregnant because I was so miserable you know and then finally when I got to my second trimester and things like just completely changed I got my energy back I started feeling

like myself again and then I was really able to process like wow I'm pregnant and this is awesome but you know it's not automatically like that and it's not always like that and also your partner cannot empathize with what you're going through no please if men had to do this we would the population would die like David like gets a sniffle and he's like oh yeah so my husband Daniel Hannah's brother he I keep joking because I tell him like now that we've had the baby and we're lack of sleep and whatever he like can't function and he's crabby whatever I get three hours not even consecutively and I'm like yeah let's go and I tell him he suffers from I'm a bitchitis like severe forms so so then when you're actually in labor I was joking with page I thought dilation was like the actual vagina I didn't think it was the cervix I also thought being in labor like this was so funny so you were texting us and you were like I'm in labor and I was like wait is labor were like you're pushing for 12 hours.

I'm like, so I suddenly was asking all these stupid questions. And my mom was like, are you okay? And I'm like, does anyone talk about this? Right. So like I thought you were pushing for 12 hours. No, thank God. I only push for 30 minutes. So, oh, yeah.

But like there's so many things about labor that I don't think general people now. Yeah. So, I mean, for my labor, it happened. My water broke at home at 37 weeks. So it was like three weeks, you know, before my due date. And this is actually, you know, it's like how to. happens in the movies you're walking around your water just like pops and breaks and it's gushing out and this is not how it's water this is it's water you know it should that's what it should be should be

clear water look and stuff but um that's not how it happens for most people that's only 5% of people actually what happens usually is you slowly start to have more and more contractions and sometimes your water doesn't even break till you're pushing the baby out wow yeah my friend elena said she didn't know she was in labor like all night yeah oh your mom was telling me about that she just had back pain yeah and that is a sign of labor which is hard because you know in pregnancy you constantly have lower back pain yeah you know they always say okay that's a sign of premature labor lower back pain i'm like but my back always always hurts that's like when someone's like are you pregnant and you google it and it's like yeah do your nipples hurt like are you or like your boobs hurt do you have a headache

and i'm like all the time every day like are you are you stressed out do you have anxiety and I'm like yes um it's like premenstru and being pregnant and the same thing yeah so then you pop out this baby and people talk about it being like the most incredible moment of their life did you have like expectations like were you worried like this has to be greater I'm going to be annoyed so my honestly my expectations were very low I they say it's the nurse curse right especially the field that you're in like you know nurses like everything that can go wrong does go wrong when you're a nurse having a baby yeah oh my god that's what they're just projecting that shit into the universe but i was so lucky and did not have that i had a very you know uneventful

labor um and i had the best epidural in the world thank god so a bad epidural means like it takes them while to get it in well that or it's just like like i was completely numb i didn't feel a thing when i was pushing are you high no no it's very it's you know it's low localized to your to your body basically you get numb from like the rib cage down yeah we also were joking about how our moms had natural birth did your mom have natural birth um I think she had one of her epidural stopped working at one point so basically when or yeah my other friends were saying their mom had a natural birth because like things were I mean obviously natural birth is great but like you feel the pressure to be like well my mom did it so I have to so going into it I was like okay I'm gonna try

you know I'm going to try to not get an epidural I did a lot of classes and that's the thing of when moms would come into labor and delivery and they'd be like yeah I'm going to do it naturally I don't want an epidural I'm like okay it's your first kid did you take any classes do any like learning breathing exercises they're like no and I'm like all right 99% of the time you're going to end up with an epidural so you have to really prepare your mind and your body because you're in so much pain yes you end up begging for it yes which is what happened to me I mean I knew I I figured I would, what happened is I, my water broke, but I wasn't really contracting all that effectively. So we started potocin. And potocin is a medicine that's really going to make you start contracting. And it makes your contractions much more intense than if you didn't have any medication at all, like if they were just coming naturally. So I knew that if I was going to have to start potocin, I'd probably get an epidural because it's much more intense. So I was laboring all night. I did really well. I got to like six centimeters. And at that point, I was like, you know what? I'm probably going to want my epidural because it takes like an hour once you say you want it for them to like come and do it because you have to get extra fluid blah blah blah so you ran the pregnancy you're like okay we're going to need epidural in five minutes it's so funny because the nurse I had overnight was clearly a new nurse yeah and then I found out she'd only like been off of orientation for a few months do you think they purposely gave you her because you knew what was going on I think they purposely gave me her because I was just like an uncomplicated pregnancy right I didn't have any blood pressure issues no diabetes

needies, nothing like that. So she was wonderful, but I was really like, okay. But you rip the baby out of your vagina. Yeah, basically. I was like, by the end, I'm like, I'm so sorry I'm bossing you around. Daniel said that you. Show me the baby's heart rate. I'm like, okay, looks good.

And then she like, maybe she didn't really know exactly how dial it out. She'd come out and she'd have to like look at the chart. And I'm like, just show me your fingers. And I'd be like, that's six centimeters. She'd walk over to the chart. And she'd be like, oh, yeah, you're right. I'm like, anyway, but she was wonderful. Yeah, Daniel said you were like pulling on like wires.

Yeah, I was just running the show. I was a little worse patient. But I guess, like, if you've never had a baby before, it's such a crazy, beautiful moment, but you would see people have this crazy, intense life moment as your job. Yeah, yeah. Did it, like, make it less exciting? It even has to be less exciting when you see it happen all the time, or was it always just, like, magnificent?

I mean, honestly, like, you know, some births were much more memorable than others, right, that I've seen. because the baby's were cuter. I'm just kidding. You're like, put this kid back. But, you know, you can, like, easily get in, like, the routine of just seeing birth after birth after birth. You also don't want to get too emotional, right?

Like, you don't be too attached. Right. Which is hard. But it's, yeah, I mean, if you really take a second, like, I would have to remind myself, like, you just witnessed a new life coming into the world. You can always find, like, that special moment there. Yeah, for sure. But, yeah, I.

I wasn't going to get an epidural, and I was not against it. So I got my epidural, highly advisable. It was amazing. It was awesome. Why? Why? I mean, if you're not against it, you're like, why torture yourself? Yeah.

You know, I got to six centimeters, and then I changed to nine centimeters in 50 minutes. And that's when I went nuts. And Daniel says, I bit him. I was out of my, I was crazy. Like, I was doing so well. I was doing all my breathing. I was really in control. And then those 50 minutes, I was.

I was animalistic. It was insane. Also, I shit my whole labor. Oh, I was about to say, because I am naturally a shitter. I love shitting. I love pooping. I poop all the time. You just, your body just gets everything out.

Well, people are so worried about shitting during labor. Like, who, nobody even, I just wipe it away and we move on and no one says, hey, you just took a shit on the table. Like, it's so normal. Also, yeah, like, that's not the focus. And it doesn't happen to everyone. So personally, You usually shit while you're pushing.

Yes. It's all the same, like, motion. Yes. But I didn't. I just shit my entire labor, which the labor is not actually the pushing part, right? It's, you know. What did Daniel do throughout it? Wow.

Well, we got, you know, I thought we were close and it went next level because I'm in the bathroom just shitting and like, like, uh, throwing up. Like, it was a lot. And so the good news is, is I shit my whole labor. so I didn't shit on shit during delivery, I guess. That's the positive. But I feel like you have 10 years of training him to, like, be a caretaker-ish. Yeah.

It's crazy because I feel like, you know, I was worried about him. He's, like, easily like, oh, my God, blood, blah. But he was so wonderful. And he, it just, like, it brought us even closer, you know? Well, yeah, people say if your relationship's not going well, a lot of people have a baby because I think it's going to make them close. but it actually makes it worse. Well.

But then if your relationship is going well and you have a baby, they say it like makes it better. Yeah. I also when I say they, I feel like I saw it on TikTok. You're like someone somewhere. I'm like kind of making it up. It's not the New York Times. I'll tell you that. Well, you know, yeah, honestly, Daniel and I have a really great relationship.

So, you know, and we talked a lot. I was like, I expect a lot from you. We did all these videos. We did like, you know, exercises. How can you help me? One of my back hurts. What should we be doing? And he took a very serious.

so he was like he was there and he was all in so that's another thing it's like prepare your partner and let them know your expectations you have to communicate it also you said when you got married because you were together for so long you didn't really feel that different does your relationship feel different now that you've had a baby together yes definitely oh wow I mean and you've had a cat they've had Luna for a long time yes our cat baby yeah didn't evolve that much when we got the cat baby but now that human babies really elevated things It's just like, you know, like he knows me on such a different level. He's witnessed all my bodily functions and, you know, had to be there for me while I was healing.

And, you know, it's a big, it's a big change in your life. So now that you have this baby. Yeah. In your house, this living thing. I feel like I'm always into the marketing things because women are the consumers. And they try to get you scared to buy stuff, you know, to prevent wrinkles and, you know, to look tan. And then you have a baby. like you just say you have the perfect baby what products from a NICU labor nurse what products are

bullshit and what products have you bought that you've been like this has really helped make our lives easier okay I'll start with the ones that make our lives easier um this is definitely like you know where my anxious mom's at because I have all the anxious moms products so I have the nanic camera which is like you know it is the baby monitor and it can actually monitor their breathing like make sure they're breathing they have these little bands you put on them so if you lay them down in the crib you can always like know that they're breathing and you don't have to like constantly run it and be like are you breathing um which i did i did so i knew that was going to be me um and then we also have the owlet sock which is kind of um a controversial product but um it's this

little sock that you put on their like on their foot and it monitors their heart rate and their oxygen levels and it basically uses it as like a sleep indicator because it it's whatever it's amazing though because i could just well before it was much more like almost medical where it would be like your baby's heart rate dropping or like you know the oxygen is low and the FCC was like no you can't this is a medical product so now they market it as like a sleep tool okay but as a nurse you're trusting it yes i i love it um because a i told you guys anxious mom moms, you know, this is going to be, this is going to do it for you. I just talked to a friend who just had a baby. She's like, yeah, I ordered it at 2 a.m. because I'm not doing this shit anymore.

I'm like smart. So, those, those two things are amazing. And then the other thing that I love is the snoo. I wish I didn't. We bought it used. So we got it, um, for a deal because it's expensive. It's like $1,200 plus dollars for this bassinet. Can you explain what a snoo is? A snu is this bassinet that basically Can you explain what a bassinet is? The bassinet is like the crib that you use. It sounds like a war weapon. It's literally the crib you use for like their first months of life because it's like in your room right next to your bed, blah, blah, blah.

So this bassinet is like super high tech and it has motion and it soothes them. And I thought it only soothe them when they cry, but it doesn't. It like is constantly moving throughout the night. And then when they cry, it moves more and the sound goes higher. and um and she freaking loves it but it's crazy because no one had this technology before and kids survived so it's like are they getting accustomed to like always being soothed you know that is you know a fair concern and maybe but honestly so worth it now because you can sleep you're so sleep deprived that you're like I'll do anything yeah I don't care we'll deal with the consequences later

oh my god but yeah it's funny to see my mom see all these things that she didn't have yes yeah When it comes to the pumping, what technology do you like with that? So I have the medella pump, which I love. Like, it's just a traditional pump. A lot of people say the spectra is the best, but I've always used medall in the hospital, so that's what I got. And it's wonderful, and it does, like, really empty your breasts well. But then I ended up getting, like, a wireless pump.

The mom cozy is what it's called. And it's the cheaper one. There's, like, a bunch out there. There's the Willow, there's the LV, and those are like $400. This one, I don't know, was 80 for one boob, so I got it. And that is a winner for me, because you're not, like, stuck against the wall all day. Yeah. You run around and you go to restaurants.

Yeah, so we've been out to eat a few times and you just hear my pump like, er. I'm like. Yeah, when I first heard it, I was like, she farting? Like, what is going on? What products do we not like? What are just, like, straight up not worth it? it you know there are things like the mamaroo which my friend just gave me to use and it's like a hundred thirty bucks and it's this chair and you're only going to use it for a few months and

some babies don't even like it i'm like what is the point of this it's a chair yeah it's like this little chair that they sit in and it swings back and forth and has like sound and some people love it but it's just not it's a nice to have not a neat to have yeah um there's other things like i have three different kinds of nursing pillows someone gate i got a lot of like things that were just given to me um and the my breast friend is the way to go the snuggle me sucks the boppy i don't really know its purpose but um yeah you heard it here first folks forget the boppy though you don't want that boppy the boppy was useful to me in the first days because it is basically a pillow with a hole in it and i brought it to the hospital

because your coochie hurt so bad so sore so bruised and i sat on it because you know there's a hole in the middle and then there's no pressure on your lady parts oh my god do you ice your vagina yes people don't talk about that okay so postpartum it's a lot okay if you have a vaginal delivery it it hurts down there and I was so fortunate because I did not tear and I thought for sure I was going to tear because most first moms you know to have some sort of tearing and honestly like you know a first degree tear a second degree tear you're going to be fine like things will heal don't worry about it too much um it's just going to be freaking sore so um it's a whole process every time you get up and go to the bathroom. You got to get your new underwear probably. You know, like the pair,

the pair net underwear that they give you at the hospital. I don't know anything about this. Yeah, so they give you net underwear, basically. They're disposable. And then you have your giant pad. And they sew you up in the hospital like a little surgery. It's, it's like, okay, blah, blah, blah. You push the baby out. You birth the placenta. Don't forget about that part. Eat it. Yeah. Then you, someone fries it up for you and eat it real quick. Chicken fried placenta. And then. And then. Um, and then after that happens, they check your vagina for any like tears and then they When they say tear, do they mean like by your perineum, like to your butthole? Like that is severe.

I've never seen that happen in any of my deliveries. Yeah. Like to go like the, I rarely saw a third degree, right? That's, but the second baby because you've been kind of torn a little, it goes better. Well, not necessarily because you've been torn, but because your first baby kind of like paved the way and your vagina knows what to do. a little more come hither yeah by like if you're having like a shit ton of babies the they and eventually just like slip right out so i also want to know the i've been watching you um

nurse the baby and it's such like a beautiful thing like you're literally feeding the baby from you don't need any you need no no man's i don't need no man's i'm like what do you even do here you don't need a call uber eats you got it right there what is that feeling of actually being the reason this baby is alive. Okay, so now that she's almost five weeks, right, it's so different because I will tell you, breastfeeding sucks at first. Yeah, it's hard for them to latch. I feel like it happens with every baby.

As a nurse, you're always taught like, you know, it shouldn't be painful. If the latch is right, it shouldn't be painful. And it's like, okay, I've never had anything suck on my tits for an hour straight. Yeah, because this is the first time you've actually experienced it and you've been just told what to tell people. Yeah, and I've just been there, you know, helping the baby latch, whatever. And it's like, okay, so I look at my baby initially. I'm breastfeeding.

She gets right on. It's great. Like she has a good latch. But then my nipples are like raw, right? She spent like freaking an hour initially just sucking on my nipples when nothing's really coming out and it hurts so bad. So that's the thing I wasn't expecting as much. I knew breastfeeding was going to be hard, but I just didn't expect that pain.

Do you think you've lost sensitivity in your nipples? I guess, yeah, because now, now that we got through those initial, like, two weeks, which were really freaking hard in terms of breastfeeding, now it's just easy. I just whip it out and... What do you do if you have a nipple piercing? I guess you have to take it out. I honestly don't know the answer to that question. Because that was, like, really an year ago, everyone was getting their nipples pierced.

I would have probably advised to take it out because that would, honestly, that That would hurt so badly your baby sucking on your daily. Oh, my God. Finally, you know, postpartum depression is, seems like, way more common. Absolutely. Well, it's way more talked about nowadays. What do you think is the cause of it? And what has your experience been emotionally since having the baby?

So in terms of, you know, the postpartum time, right? Your hormones are just crazy. Like, there's times where you feel insane. like after i had the baby i definitely had some postpartum insomnia i just like wasn't sleeping and even when the baby was sleeping at night i was just laying there like with my eyes wide open like okay well i guess i'm supposed to sleep now uh oh oh lois is coming in to say hi okay okay we're almost done how she doing okay perfect okay lois is still kicking your mom's the best so sad for her to lick okay um but yeah you were in postpartum

And insomnia. I never heard of that. Yeah. I didn't really ever think about it. And then I was, you know, I had the baby and I'm like, oh, shit, I only slept like collectively three hours last night. And here we go. Another day. It's almost like you have adrenaline because you're like, holy fuck, I have a child. It's adrenaline. Your hormones are all out of whack. There's just like a lot of things postpartum that you don't necessarily think about. The other thing is postpartum depression, yes, but also postpartum anxiety. That is a big thing that, you know, I was nervous to have because I have anxiety already. But I was really fortunate in that I didn't really have it, you know, too much. It was just like nothing more than my baseline. Intrusive thoughts and just like more fear. Yeah, of course. You have this new baby and you

don't know, you know, as a new mom, everything's kind of just like what's happening. So those are things that I was like very cautious about for myself postpartum anxiety and then you know a lot of women just get the baby blues where you're just kind of like sad for a few weeks and then it goes away the baby bloats yeah it's interesting because I wonder how much is hormonal and how much is also like you you were so excited to have the baby or you weren't even like excited you have a baby and then you realize fuck I have a baby and my life is different and I don't know if I like that change or like oh I thought this was going to change me as a person and I'm the same person right so the expectations are you're going to have this baby and you're going to bond with it and it's going to be amazing and you know you have a new purpose yes life makes sense now love them right away and feel so connected to them blah blah blah and that is not everyone's experience I have friends who have gone through it and it's like you know they come out and it's hard because you have to be honest you have to say I am not you know connecting with my baby how I thought I was and I'm also just

like not very happy even though this is supposed to be a very happy time in my life and the combination of your hormones you know out of whack and the sleep deprivation it's like obviously like it makes sense why it happens you know why people feel that way yes and it's just like it's so important to talk about it with you know i have you know a few people in my life where i could just be like yes this is happening and this is how i feel and obviously daniel is one of them and he we talked about it before I gave birth and I told them all about it. We watched a video and I'm like, you as the partner need to be aware of what it looks like so that if I'm experiencing it, you can, you know, call it out and also help me to get

the help that I need. Yeah. But I was very fortunate. I did not really have any postpartum depression. There were moments after birth in the initial weeks where I would just like have meltdowns, major meltdowns. And Daniel would be like, okay, go to sleep now. And then I'd wake up and I'd be like, hey, I'm a new person.

Amazing. So as of right now, how's your mental health and do you have any advice for people after going through a big life event like a baby on how to stay kind of in your confidence, in your calmness? Yeah. Well, it's interesting because I just was telling you earlier how I feel even more confident now that I've had a baby, which I was not like totally expecting. So I mean, it was just crazy to see my body do what it did.

You know, I birthed a whole freaking human out of my coochie. Like, I was impressed with myself. And then, you know, a few days later, I'm, like, out on a walk. And I'm like, wow, my body is freaking amazing. And, you know, with your partner, you really can, like, just, like, feel an even more intense love with them. So I just felt, like, confident with that. Because my partner's, like, you know, you're amazing and you look awesome and you did such a great thing. And you're proud.

Yeah. And you're proud of it. it's just it's just you know a really surreal experience but in terms of my own mental health i i think about this all the time because we lived in new york right and we just moved to indiana like two years to go near my family and friends and whatever and i honestly think if i had the baby in new york i would be depressed because i i just feel like you know i have so much support here yeah and even someone coming over so i could sleep for two hours makes the world of a difference in my day and my mood and everything.

So like I'm just so fortunate and I know that not everyone has that support, not everyone, you know, has, you know, the luxury of living in their hometown surrounded by all these people. But I've been doing pretty well. And I also think like thinking about it so much beforehand, I was kind of prepared to, you know,

deal with any sorts of mental things that came up. Oh, I love this so much. What a beautiful moment time i can't wait to listen to this podcast in the future when she's like 10 years old and mommy's talking about her coochie but jeannie you also are going to start ticotking i will be accountable right now oh so now i got to do it yeah a little mark talk live yeah where can people follow you on ticot okay so right now my ticot is mama jeanie d j-e a n i e good job i i feel like i had it my phone wrong. You've only like known me for 10 years. I'm glad you can tell my name. That's great.

I thought it had two ends for a long time. Basically, well, we were talking Hannah is basically my strategist. And just like, you know, doing reviews on, uh, on baby items and mom items and, you know, just talking about like really talking about what labor, birth, postpartum, newborn life is like. I'm obsessed. And I think like the little devils are going to love to hear. all you have to say the no bullshit nurse yes well thank you for having me on here it was it was fun you know to talk about it and just like make sure people know that pregnancy labor and the postpartum life is not you know what you always see on social media it's not this glamorous thing or like the movies where they joke like you have a baby and the next thing you know she's just an overall is

like building a house yeah yeah and you don't have to lose yourself like I'm very much like I still feel a very strong sense of self, even though like now I know a big part of my identity is also being a mom. Yes. Oh, it's beautiful. Well, thanks so much, Jeannie. Next up, we're going to wrap this up

with the man of the hour, Daniel. The man, the myth, the legend. Oh, my gosh. So I've hidden my brother for a long time. Let's give a warm welcome to Daniel Burner. Hello. Welcome to the dark depths of hell. Daniel has always been the more mature, logical, intelligent child of the group.

And we just had dinner and you said something very insightful about confidence. Yeah. Well, first off, thanks for having me. Start off hot. I'm like, what's the secret to happiness? Yeah. This is a bold first impression. But I was thinking about confidence, what does it mean to be confident?

how does somebody gain confidence and I thought the way to build confidence is to achieve things that you did not think you could achieve. Wow. Write fucking notes people. Take out your notepad.

That was heavy, but it also reminds me of when people say like don't take a job that you're qualified for. Yeah. Because then how do you move up and grow and learn? And I do think, yeah, it comes with anything whether you're playing a sport,

whether it's dating whether it's your job there are a lot of single ladies listening in their 20s and as a man who just got married I can't remember the last time you were dating 10 years ago 10 years ago first of how did you know you know what bringing this to to the single ladies open with confidence, but I would say confidence is one of, if not the most attractive things a person could have. And, you know, look, this is all subjective. But I think what stood out to me about my wife when I was courting her in college. When you were trying to get her take pickleback shots at Mondays in Madison. Yeah.

when you're at a frat party being like you're cute i like you but yeah confidence is important but i understand that i think especially in college it's really hard to build confidence because it's like there's not many ways to differentiate yourself like i imagine being surrounded by like a thousand other people similar to me and we're all trying to do similar things yeah and it's like you're all pretty confused yeah and you're all pretty confused but it's hard to be like wait what like what's my competitive advantage that sounds like very well it's basically people just like feeling each other's energies but that's where girls can get insecure especially nowadays with the physicality of stuff

you know changing their face being obsessed with their weight and all this stuff because they're trying to yeah differentiate themselves or keep up but i do think that you're so right if you can find confidence and comfortability in the skin you're in you see that forever that stays forever yeah that's tough you know i don't know about the like it also depends like what type of guys you're trying to attract true like i think real attracts real like don't go changing your face one i don't even know what that means really but i feel like i i've seen people and you know like you change your face you can see it on your face you're right

what you do and the energy and decisions you make it's not a coincidence who then starts talking to you it's like when I bleached my hair blonde that one year not that it's bad to go blonde but it was a very bad blonde job

I got some weird attention that year from people who I blocked I wanted to bring you on obviously your dad and stuff but like let's be honest you haven't done much we just had Jeannie on

but I have this man on the street thing that I do on TikTok. Daniel doesn't even know I do it, but I talk to guys about random questions, and I want to get your answers. Let's do it. What is your skincare routine? I'll go like three days without showering, and then like my face will be really greasy, so I use a bunch of fucking, oh, excuse me, is this a, you can curse? A bunch of a cleanser, and then my face would be really dry, so then I'd throw a bunch of moisture. on it after so it's like heavy cleanse heavy moisturized every three days or so there's also funny videos of girls imitating how guys put on moisturizer how you later just like slap it on your

face and just rub very violent same with sunscreen but it's like this isn't i'm not doing an art project like the goal the objective is to get it everywhere as fast as possible or like how guys put on chapstick like you hold it like a fist and you just like go back and forth as fast as you can top six important um do you believe in horoscopes um no you guys this is how different dale i are um do you know what a vulva is i believe it is part of the anatomy of a vagina a man can never say the word vagina without going vagina um what's your favorite makeup look on a woman minimal if I showed you a photo of a girl

would you be able to tell if she has minimal makeup on or a lot of makeup on honestly I feel like I could tell but there might be some girls who are like at the peak of like the meta makeup game where you're so good at it that it doesn't look like you have makeup

but I mean nothing is less attractive than a girl with caked on makeup or like noticeable makeup. Yep. Um, name a Kardashian. Um, Kim. Good. I got it. I did one. I want to literally. I just watch the genius documentary. Oh, what is that? A Kanye. Oh. Yeah. What do you think of the Kanye doc? It was pretty wild. I mean, the whole through the wire story, I didn't know. Yeah, it was really cool. It's just like bad timing to have like such good PR with the documentary while he's um losing his mind online yeah i do want to do a video where i show you celebrities who's a celebrity you didn't know yesterday i know i said like

johnny debb and he didn't know no i'm just kidding um do you know the definition of gaslighting uh i believe so do you want me to try to define it yeah um it's when you're trying to get someone to believe your version of the truth when, like, you know your version of truth is a lie. Wow, that was good. And you make them feel crazy. Yeah. Yeah, that was good. I don't think dad knows the definition.

What's a diva cup? Oh, shit. I feel like I know this. Is it like instead of, it's in the genre of feminine products. Yeah. right okay where like tampon goes in pad is against diva cups just like floating outside catching the drippings it's close i think you i think you put the cup in oh okay yeah i don't know how i thought dude that answer was so much better i'm so proudy right now you guys my brother smote um literally

the answers i got you have no idea um someone was like a cup that divas drank out of um what did guys talk about when they're together uh golf lord of the rings uh whiskey can you explain mansplaining to me without mansplaining it you wouldn't understand that was good um how do you feel about girls farting in front of you if it's not my wife don't do that shit so you wife's allowed to yeah we're just talking oh genie's like the only person

you actually like who do you like more me or genie next question okay this is a good one how many tampons does a woman use when she's on her period well it depends are we talking heavy flow

or slim and light whoa yo I've been married I've been living with my wife for many years now. Sometimes we're like two, and I'm like, for what? But honestly, like, I guess, I don't, like, I don't know. I imagine it's a, imagine it's a range. I'm going to go, I'm going to go somewhere between, like, 10 and 20.

Unless you need a more specific answer. No, that was actually good. How do you pee when you have a tampon in? this one honestly i would say i'm not a hundred percent certain but you were doing so well i'm i'm going to go with 90 percent certainty right you see everyone uh the urethra is not the vagina and i'm pretty sure that the urethra can function if if the vagina's got a tampon in it So I think that it's just like a non-issue is my hypothesis. Okay, so we just prove that my brother's next level.

Too bad he's taken, guys. I'm so sorry he's taken, but he is a premium man. He got all the answers right. Now you know why my standards were so high and how I just would black out and date stupid men because I never thought I could meet someone who was good enough for me. Do you win a prize? No.

Okay. that's fine no now oh my gosh but danio how is life without social media um i have to think back to life when i had social media this would be like eight years ago at this point yeah um 2013 or something like that 2014 and my memory of it is just like now or when i got rid of it my life was so much simpler when you when you're not social media the only thing the thoughts that occupy your mind are the things that are in front of you that need your attention to get through your day or to get through your life so like my thoughts are just about me and my house and my wife and my kids well yeah you're in your physical world and you're not dealing with like a meta world

that's also going on and honestly like props to people trying to get through life on hard mode on social media because it's overwhelming you know still with just like what's actually in front of you and what actually matters and what's on your plate so all y'all wearing ankle weights trying to get through it like while also hemorrhaging your mind with this like it's definitely not sounds hard natural no that's a great point to be dealing with like a meta universe really and then the real universe, which we don't understand either. Well, the reason why it's so harmful is the reason why it's so successful. And the behavioral scientists and psychologists and engineers who created these platforms

are playing off of the human desire to be socially accepted because we're social creatures, right? So like our brains have desired to want to be part of communities and be accepted. And it was really advantageous when we had small communities. communities and being accepted into them was the difference between life and death, the difference between you finding shelter and food and being accepted in your community. But then when you explode that to instead of a tribe of 30 people to a globe of 6 billion, those same receptors that, those same tendencies that kept you safe and alive and thriving are now completely overloaded.

and you just have no shot to be part of all these, I don't know, communities are feeling accepted or feeling together and not alone. It's kind of like went overboard and came out the other end and had the reverse effect. But I don't know, this is my opinion on the outside looking in. I might be like out of the loop. Well, no, you gave me pretty good advice when I was going through stuff, tough stuff online. And you were like, by the way, like scientifically, like, you. like your brain's not supposed to be able to handle this and like it's it's not normal and

this is an actual human reaction you're having to something that's like really not okay for our brains to even be trying to understand I also I you love sorry we just said Mexican you love being philosophical and like you just saw something made from you enter the world your dad how has it changed your philosophy on our existence we don't do small talk here um can i think the biggest takeaway from this was from the experience of having a child as a man was like up until this point like i saw my wife as like an equal like a partner like we're both humans right we're capable of similar things but seeing that life come out of her i'm like whoa like i am i'm not capable of that like what the heck could i like and

it it was like so crazy to to think like wow like that is one that's like how our species exists so it must be normal. It must be what could be more natural, right, than, than procreation. But it was like, holy crap. Like, every woman could do that or like women are supposed to be able to do that. Like, that's insane because it's such a, I don't know, monumental task. But my philosophy on life is just, I kind of saw like the realness of it and the reality of it is like, it's women going through this and making people like women make people you're a feminist icon you truly are final question that I ask all interviewees at the end of every episode is when you're going through hell when things are dark when life is hard what advice do you have to cope with it watch a world war two

documentary yeah done next question can you extrapolate on that yeah like I love I love belittling my problems it's actually one of the most relaxing therapeutic humbling experiences right you need to contextualize your problems to the universe right like you can go down your rabbit hole of everything that's happening to me is so bad and it's the worst thing that's happened to me and I can't deal with it yeah but watching a World War II documentary makes you realize that, I mean, I don't want to speak for everybody, but in my times of strife, I wasn't fighting for my life. I wasn't fighting for people's lives next to me or entire, you know, sex of people. Like, so I always found, and honestly, like, it's perspective. Yeah, it's perspective. And even my wife, like, I'll, like, complain about work and she'll be like I saw a baby die in the NICU last night and I'd be like I feel so much better now well it's kind of when people are like why do you watch so many murder documentaries I'm like to

remind myself my day could have been worse yeah and I don't want people to be like yeah but like everybody's going through it you know don't like don't belittle people's problems and and you can feel like that I'm just saying for me I like the feeling of belittling my problems because I know my problems are bullshit but sometimes I forget because I'm too absorbed in my own life but we're related I don't know if you do this too but sometimes when I'm going through something hard I look around and I really do think

that everyone's life is better than mine like really like I well not better but I think that everyone no one has the heaviness that I have oh like my problems are like so fucked up and like everyone else just seems pretty happy and like I really skew my brain to be like I'm so fucked up

and like whatever but then yeah getting out of your own head talking to people talking to people is what gets me out of my like intrusive thoughts or like you're lying to yourself well like you for sure don't want to like brush issues under the rug like if you know you're going through something you help don't just be like try to convince yourself it's not something if you know it is yeah i'm fortunate enough i think that i i'm not dealing with anything like that and and anything that I get tripped up on is just me lacking perspective and it's bullshit yeah and that's how a lot of things start and if you don't allow yourself to speak kindly to yourself or find perspective it can get worse so wow Dana that was really good advice now I would I would say go follow him on social

media but he doesn't have any um so just send him positive energy good vibes to a new dad in this world and we love you daniel peace out