Berner Phone - Mystic Michaela: Killing Hannah's Ego & Reading Her Aura

Episode Date: July 28, 2021

The Aura Reading KWEEN is here to help Hannah understand herself and her chaotic life. She reads Hannah's aura, helps Hannah understand why her career is heading in a certain direction, she reads Des' aura to make sure he is compatible with Hannah, explain what purple bombing is, and Hannah opens up about her demons more than she ever has on Berning In Hell (scary!)--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ooh, do we have an episode for you guys today? I actually had a very special interview with Mystic Michaela, who is an aura reader, an empathic medium, and empowering people to live authentically. Her podcast is Know Your Orapod. So I went on her pod, and I was like, The Little Devils have to hear this because you guys know, I've been in the dark,

I wasn't able to speak on a lot of things of stuff that went down the last couple months. And I needed someone. to read my shit. I needed her to read me up and down and tell me what the hell is going on in my mind. So, Michaela, very nicely did that. And I figured this could be beneficial. Hopefully stuff that I'm struggling with, either you guys can learn from or relate to or just be like, oh, that's an interesting aura reading. I've never had my aura read, but I learned a lot today. And I'd like to share it with you all. So enjoy and hit up Mystic Michaela if you want to get your aura red as well. So let's jump in. Welcome to Burning Heaven.

Hey Hannah. Thank you for having me, Michaela. It's an honor to be a part of your spiritual family. Oh my gosh, you are. You are. You know what's okay. So how? I found out about you because I have to confess, I don't watch Summerhouse, even though everyone's like, please do oral readings on everything that's going on and I'm probably going to watch it, you know? So I knew about you through one, girls got to eat because you were on there and I thought you were so entertaining and funny. And then so many people were sending me this tweet that you wrote. I got this so many times in my DMs. It was this one. I act pretty confident for someone who gets crippling anxiety every time I have to interact with anything that isn't a cat

or a dog. That's literally me. In every sense of the word, during quarantine, I started volunteering at this animal shelter, and by volunteering, I mean, I was socializing the cats. And I was like, this is just helping me more than anything. So I love animals, is more of my story. So do you know your aura? No.

I mean, all I know is what you've told me. But like, even the little bit you told. me was eye-opening. So you, when I got that tweet, I was like, okay, I got to check her out a little further. So I was looking at you and you're very layered. So it's interesting. So you definitely have that indigo blue thing going on, which we've started calling over here blue to go. And I know it's like kind of cheesy because it's like, you feel other people's feelings. It's your own, you know, like that. And I feel like that gets overused a lot, like out in culture and whatnot. But with you, the way I see.

see it is like you really do take in a lot of stuff and then alter your humor or your behavior like just how you work. I feel like you try to be more relatable because of it. Like it's almost like you take it in and then filter it and then give it back to us in a way that is digestible or has been explained humorously. Does that make sense? Yeah. Well, it's funny because I've always been really weird with socializing where when I'm out, I'm like, like the clown of the party, love in every, I want every interaction to be like as good as possible.

I put a lot of pressure myself to make sure everyone's having like a lot of fun. And then I'm exhausted. And then I like go home and I like turn off, turn the lights off, cuddle with my cat and I like need that recharging time. But I never really understood why. And you're right. And I feel like now people joke about like that girl who said she's an empath.

Like I'm intuitive. I'm better than you. And a part of me was like when I heard what an empath was, especially because I've had a lot of relationships with narcissists. Oh, yeah. I started to be like, wait, I hate that girl who's like, I'm intuitive. You're hungry.

It's lunchtime. But I like really do feel like sometimes like I need to take a shower after like a big social event. Yes. Everything who just said is so blue to go. Like it's true because people who. who truly are the empaths like I feel like we try to highlight on here it's that you don't say this stuff to other people you know what I mean like you don't go around like well that like hurt my feelings like three days later you're like holy crap like I had to process that like this was this altered me

this changed me I need to isolate to try to know who I am again um my god that's how it really is what's funny about me going on a reality show is I'm actually so bad with confrontation Yes. We have to talk about that. I grew up in a family and a lot of friendships were like there actually wasn't a lot of fighting. It was either I was like, okay, I deserve that or I was like, how do we just get out of this situation

in the most pleasant way? There wasn't a lot of yelling growing up. I was like fortunate in that, but it's like I dealt with my own anxiety. Sure. So when I went on a show, it's so funny, the first season, I remember some girl was like saying that I wasn't feminine enough.

Okay. And I remember at first being like, okay, that's weird, but like, I don't care. And then producers were kind of like, that has to upset you. And I'm like, I don't want to start shit with her. And finally they were like, you have to address her. And I was like so nervous. And I also was like, I'm not really mad at her. Like, it's her own stuff. Like, it's not about me. Right. But I remember being like, okay, I'm upset that you have been kind of saying stuff like that about me. And she turned to me and she was like, why? Why didn't you tell me that immediately when it happened? And I ended up, like, apologizing to her. And I just remember thinking, like, that was the most horrible experience. And I don't know how I'm going to survive this, but I'm going to try to find, like, humor in it. But my biggest fear ever was going on a reality show and being misunderstood. Yes. But when I first went on, I felt like people were understanding me.

And I was like, oh, my God, I can show that women could be, like, sporty, but sexy. and like smart but goofy and stupid at the same time. Like women could be so complex. You could be an entrepreneur but also lazy. Yeah. I like show all these sides that I feel like I can, I for whatever reason, have been given this strength to just like show myself to people

and make people feel less alone. But then like my last season, I felt like very misunderstood with what was going on. And it just like pour me apart. That's hard. You know, it's hard when you feel other people's interpretation. of what went on. It's like you know what they're all thinking.

You even know their logic behind how they're seeing it and thinking it. You're not in control of the edit. You know, you're not in control of like a lot of different ways that they're seeing it or your intentions. And so you're like, listen, I see how you can see that way, but my intentions were this. And that's really sad. Because your whole thing is how other people's feelings are interpreting you and you can sense it.

So it's like you're sensing you plus them and it's hard. know, it's hard. So I don't, like as, and that was actually one of my questions, because you're purple too, like you're purple and blue to go. And so purple people, it's kind of like we're talking about like, all right, I want the energy in the room to be cool. I want everyone to have a fun time. And also purple people can handle a spotlight a little more. But that was one of my questions. Like, how the heck do you do like stand up? How do you do? Because you do stand up comedy, right? Like you, how do you do you do like, yeah, like a reality show where you're not in control of the I did it. Like, how do you, how, how, how's the aftermath of all this for you? What does that look like?

For some reason in my life, like, I'll find things that scare me and I have terrible anxiety, but I'll like, I don't know if it's a self-hate thing, but like, just masochism or just like the athlete mentality of like, it's hard. You just need to push through because others won't. Like, I played tennis for a long time when it wasn't really making me happy, but I was good at it. And then reality TV, I was like, this is my biggest fear, but I know that. there's like so many positives that could be had and like I ended up getting a ton of the positives but then like ended with like a big negative because I don't know if it's a blue to go thing but when I leave places I burn that shit down like it's not that's a purple bomb you probably and I

didn't watch it okay but you might have subconsciously been really fucking over it and what you did were like you know what I'm gonna make sure I like I do burn the place down yeah and and like we're just going to be done so i once i'm done with something i can't fake it yeah like i can't it's like with relationships like with a guy like i can lie to myself but then the second whatever ticks i'm like i need to be out yesterday like i need to call them right that moment right but with stand-up it's funny because i for whatever reason have the balls to talk in front of people. So I kind of feel like I want to say the things that people like a female locker room that women are afraid to say where they're talking about like farting and like embarrassing.

And I want to show that women could be still be attractive and sexy while still being disgusting and open. And like I just I hate when people put women into such boxes and I want to embrace the complexities of people and find the confidence in like your authentic self not being like just the what beauty what beauty means stereotypically so in front of people i feel like i've enjoyed stand-up because a lot of stand-up is likeability it's not a speech it's a dance between two people so it's like i need to understand the mood of the room what they're doing what they want and be like it's a lot of of empathy yeah yeah like what's what don't they like what do they like and then calling out like everything in the room even if I say a joke that made people uncomfortable being like

okay we're getting boundaries that's a little tight I made a joke about cutting off balls okay the guys in the room I apologize so like I guess I've been able to take advantage of my the one the one thing that I think people didn't understand at the end of summer house which I don't care when people call me ugly or stupid or not funny it was that I understand how it looked and I understand there's how they feel and I'm like and that's so hard for me yeah but what I want people understand is like even though I come off tough and strong and people think they could say anything to me especially the cast members I'm highly sensitive yeah like deeply sensitive and I don't forget things that people do I don't forget energies that people give me and

something you nailed is like I don't know how to of fake stuff no yeah that's interesting because it's like you chase authenticity so i think that's where i really love it i feel like with you like everything you just said it seems like you seek out places to do the phoenix rising from the ashes thing like it's like let's just yeah like reinvent myself in in a lot of like high pressure situations another thing with you and i told you this like when we were DMing, you have like this psychic or armor color. It's like a red. And it's like inauthentic, but sometimes people are like, does that mean I'm fake? Like, no, it feels like to me, like a protection that you'll put on. And I wonder if you wear that when you go into these

highly volatile or like could go either way situations, but man, you level up. And it seems like that's what's happening to you now. You're like, even though this kind of crashed and burned or whatever you're saying, it feels like, but you're going to come out of it. And what's going to happen is you're not attached to that anymore so it's going to be all you and maybe you like it that way maybe you like it to be like you know what i i have to define carve my own path if that makes sense yeah no 100 because i mean i was a tennis player which is a very like solo activity yes and up is very solo and i've been in organizations that like i'm in and it goes well and then towards the end like sometimes a group mentality i don't vibe with um and then

the place gets burned down but I also feel like I was able to put my like smile on for a while and then it broke in this last season where I couldn't fake knowing like how like people's actual motives towards me. It's hard when you can feel people's intentions but they're saying something different than you know what they're intending and that's why when you talk about being in past relationships that were like narcissistic relationships or whatever like with narcissist that's the thing like we can give people um like people like you can give people passes because you know if they do something but it's really about their their childhood trauma or that's like super not about you but what you're saying is like people are coming at you and it was truly about

you like it was they wanted to take you out or down or who knows I didn't watch it like I said it's just it seems like from what you're saying you've felt their feelings coming at you and that is hurtful because how do you and you know I know it's just for like a show you know and I and I get that but I can see like you on the other side of it now it probably feels very isolating or islandy a little bit well the show was before like we hang out during the week in the city we work hard and we go and party on the weekends and we film the weekends but this is the first time we were stuck in a house for six weeks and I also was like falling in love with someone at the time long distance so I was like I definitely was missing him and then

I was feeling, um, slowly feeling like isolated where I didn't know the why until I watched it six months later of like what the narrative they were spinning about me. Wow, that's really hard. And I remember thinking, this can't be a bad season because I'm not saying anything bad about anyone and everyone's just talking bad about me. But then I realized that's the perfect, um, recipe to make someone look a type of way because you can't show your side. Yeah.

And you can just fill in the blanks when people are willing to say bad things about you. Wow. That are very general. Like, not like Hannah did this. Right. Hannah is this type of person. Hannah talk shit or like

Hannah's a bad friend, like just very general things. And those things towards your character on a national scale or like hurtful. But my current thing that I'm working on is after this like bad experience. experience I had where there were so many positives in it. Yeah. Like, am I going to be able to recreate that again? Am I going to be able to find that again? And like, because there's a lot of, even though reality is very toxic,

it's a drug of like fame and money. So like to be just like done with that and then you're kind of like reevaluating your whole situation. And having, I'm working on trying to trust the universe that things not meant for me are gone and that things that are meant for me will come towards me. Yeah, 100%. I feel like that's how it works. Like you're done with something, like you said, like you have to make sure you can't go back to it,

you know, because maybe that would have been a crutch or something. The universe was like, you are not touching that again. Because I would have stayed. I would have stayed and tortured yourself. Yeah, and you wouldn't have grown. You know, now you're growing into what's next for you.

Let's talk about like the professional athlete thing is always really interesting to me because like with the red that you wear, I do see that on like ex-military people and I'll see it on, yeah, like people who trained like at a level

that most people can't understand. Was that, yeah. And just what it takes from a very young age to like have that kind of dedication and daily commitment. And what it does like, I guess like on a physical level,

like that doesn't hurt, push through it or you're not tired, keep going. And what does that do with feelings like as a metaphor? You nailed it. because when I'm, I'm like back in therapy, which is great. It is.

It always is. When you're an athlete, you have to mute your own voice. When you say, I'm nervous, I'm scared, I'm tired, I'm sore. That's all weakness. So when your coach is like, are you ready? I have that red thing where I'm a people pleaser and I'm just like, I've never felt better. I'm ready to go. When in my head I have a, the anxiety eventually comes out and it shows, but I can like act like I'm ready.

And then I feel like I lacked some of the self, the self-soothing practices of like, because there's no empathy in sports. It's like you need to be a soldier. Yeah. And I think comedy has been great because it's just for me. It's not for anyone. You don't leave with like a win or a loss. It's like a form of expression and creativity, which is where like I find my joy. I think that's fascinating.

Just like on that micro level of how you can take that same, I guess, like push or surge or creative energy and put it towards something that it's about you. And why did you stop the tennis? Like, was it something? Like you said you were unhappy with it, but over time, was it just kind of like a culmination? Was it just too much pressure? Like, what was it with you that made you kind of just, eh, I'm done? So I was actually suffering from like severe performance. Wow. Okay. But I was still like winning. It's called like winning ugly where when I was on the court I would freeze. They call it the yips. Like I would like lose my serve. I would lose my forehand. But in practice I would be great. And it was I just felt like I was battling my demons all the time. But I became obsessed with it. Like how do I overcome these demons? But I was able to still do pretty well. And when I almost wish that I had a losing streak or got injured to still.

stop and be like, this isn't something that's wrong with you. Yeah. This is like mental health stuff that you need to work on. Um, I just felt like every day was judgment day. Like, if I won, okay. But if I lost, it was like bad depression. Yeah. It's external. Like all your approval was external. Yes. And it, I forgot like about loving the sport. And I had some coaches that, you know, weren't great to me. And I was changing things in my game and I wasn't believing in it. So I just kind of became this like, this ball of anxiety, but I was still performing at a very, I was playing number one for Wisconsin and I would lose my forehand all the time. Yeah. But I would find ways to overcome it and still win.

But like at 22, I remember being like, I actually got hit by a car in college. Okay. And I was fine. It was like a bad muscle contusion. And I ended up, it was right towards like a big tournament at the end of my career that I felt like if I did. really well. It was like, okay, you're meant to go pro. But I ended up losing a bunch of matches by like barely a point or two, like five matches within like a couple points. And I was like, this is a sign. This isn't making you happy. And you're too fucked up with these bad habits in

your head. Like it's meant to be maybe come back to it. And then I did sales, which is a similar pattern. Yeah, that red. Yeah. You're following that inauthentic red thing. Yeah. Yeah. Again, I did, I was doing so well. Yeah, I'm sure. Miserable. I would cry in the bathroom. I was making so much money for my first job. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah, because you're blue to go so people like you. You know, you're genuine. So people are like, oh, sell me something. I believe you, you know. I'd be like, yeah. But I also as someone who like takes in so many emotions, I was, this is, since we're overloaded for me. Yeah. So I went into marketing and I got bored because it was just like the. opposite. It's like a little organized. Yeah, too. Yeah. And I felt like I wasn't using my creative juices and I wasn't making enough change or affecting the world. And then I said I want to get into video. And that's when my manifestation started to come together real quick. Okay. I was on TV within two years. I became a comedy video producer making funny small videos. I started writing jokes. And then it's been like this crazy, fast explosion of entertainment.

And then this was my first big kind of punch in the face in the entertainment industry. I mean, it's probably like probably looking back in 10, 20 years, you'll be like, oh, yeah, that was just part of it, like, obvious like that. But I always say like with manifesting and how the universe, when you align, when you know you're on track, it does. It happens so quick. And it's not that it's hard work. It's still hard work.

It's just sometimes the struggle is less to like get it. So it's kind of like it comes to you. Yeah, it felt like the struggle was purpose. purposeful. Yeah. Yeah. It was familiar. That like it was, I didn't get that like sick in your stomach feeling or like out of body

experience. It was very authentic to me. And it's crazy though, because during the darkest year, I actually feel like I was my most authentic on reality TV in terms of like when I was upset. I was upset. Yeah. And then when you give so many emotions, it's easily manipulated. Oh, yeah.

During that time when I was being like crazy authentic. full of emotion was when I met the love of my life. I was just going to say that. Is that when you met? Yeah. Because you're engaged now, right? Yeah. And I do know in the past,

I definitely must have had that red around my neck because with most guys, I could just kind of convince them that I'm like, sporty, likable, chill. Yeah. Which is so much more complex than that. You're not going to find your soulmate being like, you know, sporty girl. And when I do a lot of readings, you know, and so when just like, you're saying, I'll get somebody and I'll be like, listen, you're kind of wearing in an

authentic color, which means it's hard to date because they're meeting not the right you. And so one, you're bringing in the wrong people because like you're just going to attract what you are, you know? So, and then two, three dates later when you're like, hey, I have emotions and I really have these. I like cats in astrology. Yeah, and I like to sleep a lot. And then they're like, oh, who are you? And it's just, it doesn't work. And then it's just like a pattern, you know, that they can form. And you got to get messy. You got to get messy to meet the right person, which just sounds like what happened. I was, I was crying all the time. And I'm not a big cry or either, but it's not like he saw this like really vulnerable side to me that he

connected with. But it's funny because in the past, I was going for all these motion and available guys or guys that I like wanted to seek their approval. Yeah. Kind of like a tennis player. external right trying exactly trying to get their coat to win over their coach to be proud of them that's that's deep that you could like articulate that and grasp it and then like see it is it like that's huge a lot of people are in the midst of it but they can't like put words to it you know so oh yeah I for sure I mean I was in these like weird situationships guys being like I'm not going to have sex with you but like I really like you and I'm like okay well this is a sport let's play it yeah like just control things ego are they like like

it was actually on the show and like that got kind of twisted too to make me look like I was just like making the relationship up in my head well I like that too like when you were talking about how you want to kind of reframe what feminism is you know and reframe what a girl is at course it's just too easy to you know edit that into she's psycho or just like insecure or like who knows what I'm sure that that was the tone well it's funny because at first my my previous season great season for me. I was kind of playing the like, I'm a cool girl. I just want to have sex with this male model. And everyone kind of loved it. Yeah. And then the next season, I was like, you hurt me and that's not okay. I don't like how this guy's talking to me and I'm going to stand up to

him. People obviously didn't see the things that were said. That made me so upset. And then I met the love of my life. And people were like, Hannah's the worst. Let's, I have to look at it. Can I read his aura? Is that okay? I would love you to read his aura. Okay. His name's Des, right? Yep. I see him. All right. So when I look at his picture, I see green and blue, which I think is, but he's so, like, when I look at him, he's got such a big heart. So that's like the blue. So it's in there. But he's also like you, like I get this need for authenticity and this need to like laugh at things that it's kind of like you can either cry or laugh and I feel like you guys both have that thing like we could cry about it but let's laugh about it and it's kind of like this dark sense of humor this cool you know I have that too so I get

it like the first time we met I was like annoyed with my dad because it was my first date in six months and my dad was like I'm changing my tea time we have to leave half an hour early for my golf and I'm like dad I'm trying to meet the love of my life and you with I've been alone for six months I don't have my hair ready he's like I'm leaving cars leaving now and I got so mad at him and I'm like about to meet does for the first time and I'm pissed off and I get in the car and most of the time that's when you put on the red like hey yeah but instead I was like my dad is being such a dick right now and he turns to me and he goes at least your dad's alive oh my god that's so sad But funny.

Yeah. Flying laughing. And from that moment, I was like, this person's special. And I used to go for guys who were different than me because I thought I needed like a calming energy or like someone who was just like really different from me and like shy. Yeah. But we have this intense relationship because we're very similar. Yeah. So we get each other.

We're hard on each other sometimes. But it's because we don't bullshit each other because we kind of, yeah, we're very similar. He seems very smart, too. You know, and you are smart, but, like, the way that he's smart is kind of, like, quick, observational, like, and also, like, he can take a little thing that somebody does and break it down into, like, probably some, like, life-altering, like, psychological, like, he just figured it out. And I used to have a big guard up where I would find guys who I didn't respect how their mind works and just be like, he's hot. I'm having fun. I'm just, like, so cool. And with Des, like, he speaks all these.

these languages. He cares about history. And I'm like, I'm like the like not book smart one on the street smart. So I'll sit with him and I'll just be like, so what happened in World War II? And he's like so. And like 20 minutes later, you're like, okay, that was good. He's like, oh no, that's part one. We're going to keep going. Like he fascinates me how his brain works. And I like that he's smarter than me. Well, he's green. Green people tend to be just more intellectual, or they care more about, like, facts or research-based kind of things. Yeah, whereas you being more... I don't know things. I'm like, no, I don't know.

You grasp it. I could. I don't ruin my brain for that. I'm busy worrying about stupid stuff. It's harder to kind, like, you're more like the overall grasping vibe. Catcher, and he's like, oh, let's just dig. And you're like, like you said, I don't, I'm the same way. I don't do it. I don't do it. No, I can't. I can't. Yeah, you're right. And I wonder. I feel like because our brains as more purple and then like the, well, you're blue to go. I'm similar. Like, I feel like our brains are too occupied with what is that, what's going out with that couple over there? Or is she okay? And that's, or yeah. Tennis, like, I would be on

the court and I would literally be like, okay, what is that person thinking over there? Why did that person leave? How is that ref, like, not focusing on this? I had a bazillion thoughts going on in my head that were like not beneficial. Yeah. That's why they see dumb jocks are good. Like, it's not about being stupid. It's about your mind being quiet. It's funny. You can really perform where in comedy, when I'm on stage, I'm doing my joke while observing these people eating this mozzarella like barata that I'm about to make a joke about. And then because those people over there are going to like it.

Like I'm the ADD and the overanalyzing is like what fuels my creativity. Yes. It reminds me like what's going on with Naomi Osaka. Like when she wouldn't do the press, I was like, well, of course she, because she's in to go. She's in to go too. So it's like, you can't, how can she think about what she was going to say to them and then play a good game? You know, it's too much going on in her head. I don't know.

Did you relate to her when all that was going down? I definitely related to her, but it's interesting because I feel like so many players. Oh, sure. Relate to her. Yeah. And I do, it comes to a point where it's like you have to, the press is so good for the game, but I think there has to be some like, do the press conferences have to be an hour? Yeah.

Do they have to be all these different languages? Like, can we find it a way that the players get what they want and the press get what they want and you don't feel like you're kind of a, like, cattle? It's very voyeuristic. The sport is very much like, we want to catch you. We want to see you upset. We want your emotion right after the match.

Let's look at you. That's some reality TV stuff. And sports is reality TV for people, but it's hard because women in the sport of tennis used to do anything to get press to make women's tennis be respected. So it's like a hard time where now it's like Naomi doesn't want it. But I feel like there's an in-between that can be a safe space while also getting the information you need. But she is just great to start new conversations about like the sport evolving and times changing. Yeah.

But it's so interesting what you're saying about your voice, like especially when you're doing comedy, like moving around the room. I've never done stand-up at all. But like when I used to be a teacher. And so that is, it's hard for people to understand. that there's like six different voices in my head sometimes while I'm talking. And I knew I've never like actually articulate. You just did it. And I was like, yeah, I used to be like that too. Like, what's this kid going over here? Like, you just jump around the room a little bit. Well, you're talking. Like, okay, I need to make this person laugh over there because their hands are crossed. I don't like that. But I also am loving this crowd over there. And like, I'm going to make fun of that guy's hat. And like, you just have like this energy. But overall, it's like you feel free to express yourself. And I think that's my biggest thing also. reality TV is like I can't say all my truth yeah and that's been eating away at me because I have podcasts I've stand up but um to be perceived a type of way and not be able to explain the full story has been eating away at me yeah um what do you okay so now you have does and you two are happy

and it's so nice what does he say to try to like calm come come you after the storm of whatever this reality TV thing is done to you like what's his advice to you well he is he believes in me so much which is amazing and he because he's older and has had a long comedy career he's like he jokes he's like this is one of many ups and downs you're going to have in this like long career and you're just seeing it in a very kind of small place right now but he also kind of is tough on me where he's like you can try to blame the universe like whatever he's like or you could just say like you got fucked like you got kicked in the balls yeah and you you got pushed down you ate shit and now it's time to like move forward so yeah i love that he's he's

giving you perspective because that's what green people do they're very eagle eye over the whole thing like chess player kind of vibes like yeah like that so it gives you perspective and he validates you which is really nice he's like yeah that did happen that sucks now and i move it he's also experienced a lot himself so he'll be like i was in this situation he was like when i was at my most famous He said he got the most hate he's ever gotten. And the only thing he wishes was that he didn't focus on the negatives and focused on the positives of it. So, like, he helps me with dealing with the public eye type stuff. But my thing is now I just, I met him when, like, all this stuff was going on.

Yeah. I was had all these jobs. And then, like, everything has kind of burned down within the last couple months. And now it's, like, me trusting myself that I can reinvent myself and that I can, move forward in a in a positive way that isn't dependent on like the frills of reality TV. I'm sure you're going to get scooped up for something next though. So what I feel like from you, just like unsolicitedly, I get kind of this vibe like, hey, enjoy it.

You're going to look back and be like, ooh, I should have enjoyed that downtime. And downtime with quotes because you're like, I have two podcasts and like a bunch of other stuff going on. But you're going to look back and be like, oh, I should have enjoyed it. that downtime a little more because it's going to pick back up at some point they'll scoop you up i love that from you as you can tell like when i get anxiety i just want to fix it yeah of course i'm also working on feeling my feelings instead of just getting into the next job um because as an athlete the best athletes like michael jordan is known to be so good because

they say he forgets feeling bad about something in like 1.5 seconds i don't know how they get that step but like he'll miss a shot and he'll be able to recover really fast. Or like, Nadal, like, lose the point and he's able to forget really fast. So that's what my whole life was about is like forgetting. And when like something bad happens, I would just be like, okay, we can't feel bad about it when it's actually really important. I think to heal from trauma. That's a red person tactic. They can do that.

You just described two red people. Like, those people can do it. You can't. And that's okay. And people are great at reality TV probably too. Oh, yeah. reality TV is about like the drama evolving like you're in a fight and you have to move on where like a fight will happen I'll be like whoa whoa whoa boy yeah I can never trust you again yeah but that's why people connect to you though at the same time like even if you're getting hated on in the moment like they're still connecting you know what I mean like there's the connection that can happen and then I'll often see like with red purple people or like green purple people they're on reality TV too and they'll be like successful because they'll yeah hate me cool they almost like you it. They're like, you know, like their haters are their fans and they're like, this is great.

It's like, it's just different personalities. Well, it's interesting. Before I went on reality, this guy who's very experienced in it was like my only advice is don't have people be like Hannah, which one was I don't. He was like either how people love you or hate you. I remember thinking like, well, people aren't going to hate me. I'm not like a mean person. Right. But then I like all seasons, people have like volatile reactions. Don't understand it. You're. You're so nice. Well, I like, all I do, like, my life is about, like, kindness, like, from a young age. Like, it was always, like, I even was put in, like, these inclusion classes, which means, like,

it would be, like, high performance students, low performance students. And they kept putting me in it. And I was, like, a higher performing student. And my mom was like, hey, like, she's been in, like, three inclusion classes in a row. And they were, like, she connects. Like, apparently I was the one to, like, always sit next to the kid who was struggling. I know who you are as a child. I know that kid you're like the best kid I'm like you are you know a jealous

car trying to hurt people I'm like that is what I don't want now I got to watch it and be like what's that hell Hannah like what are you talking about I think the universe is like oh you want to level up yeah you need a face like you're scaryish like that would be my too that would be the scariest thing that could happen to me I I will honestly like I'm misinterpreted one day is like mean I I was just like, I, you know, so I can't imagine that. So, you know, just from one empath to the other, like, that's got to be torturous. But then you also, I'm working on, like, thinking back to big picture. And it's like, what is massaging?

Like, when a woman reacts, instead of thinking, like, could there have been a real reason that maybe we didn't see that she's this upset? Yeah. Or, like, instead, it's like, she's hysterical. She's manipulating people. She's causing drama. She's toxic. And those are the words that get repeated around me. And also, I'm like, it is reality TV and starting drama is kind of what we're paying.

Like, they want a show. They do need a show, you know. And as you know, I like the limelight. So I'm like, I'm here to entertain and let's go. Like, I could sit here and not react to everything and everyone think I'm like cool or something. But I'm here to stir some shit up. Sure. At the end of the day, I also do want everyone around me to be happy.

Yeah. So it's a struggle. I feel like all this, and you already know this, and that's what, you know, it was time to close the door on that so the door could open on the next thing. And sometimes when we get in these little slumps or whatever, it's kind of like the only time you can hear things you couldn't have heard before. So it's been so, so like you're just working on, like you're hearing so much stuff right now and you've had like probably eight ego deaths like where you just like okay I'm ready

to me. Can you explain what an ego death is to me? Yeah so an ego death I should do a podcast on it. An ego death is basically when I mean it feels like getting kicked in the stomach and then like oh and then and then oh we're not done yet and then they just keep like coming at you and you really it's hard because like you really the things that you thought were egotistically good about you have been like ripped away and you have to connect there's only one thing to connect with and it's yourself or spirit or whatever you want to call it and there's all the external anything external anything that you were possibly holding onto as any sort of source of approval that wasn't from you or your higher self or from you know god whatever you want to call it it gets ripped

away and you're forced to reconnect with that part and it's hard oh my god you just nailed it this last season was such an ego um genocide where i feel like um um I've always used so much external validation. Sure. And like, because I don't do the self-soothing stuff. I'm like, I just have to work harder to make people, you know, approve of me more, be more successful so people like me more. Where the only way I'm going to survive this is if I can authentically say,

Hannah, I love you and you don't have to listen to those people. Wow. Yeah. But what's also hard is as a comic, you need people to like you to sell tickets. So it's like, because I would like. love to just move to Montana and, like, have a cat sanctuary. I've thought about it. It's like my dream. I'm coming with you. Yeah. Well, literally just like read people's oras and pet cats and then give the cats' oras. Yes. Sounds like heaven. Do you know animal

oras? Yeah. So with animals, they do have oras. They just work different than ours because they're not complicated and they're truly probably better. So like I feel like they're just like raw. Yeah, they don't wear inauthentic colors. They're exactly what they are. You know, that's why we love them. They're so genuine like children you know they're just so themselves. I also connect with children a lot or like or people with special needs you know like that too like when you were talking about you being put in inclusion classrooms and stuff like just they're just so honest about themselves and they're always trying to work on themselves in such an honest sweet way like it's just oh I don't think I necessarily was gravitated toward them because I was like I need to be good no I think it was because they were like

really nice. Because they did something for you. Because you're like, you know what? These are great energies to be around. They're just nice. I actually was very bad at the like politicking and like the like kind of cool girl thing and like the popular kids. And that's why I think summer house for a second I was like accepted in this like cool crowd. Yeah. Which was an ego thing. Yeah. And then long term I did not fit in with the group at all. Yeah. And my last season like I became this black sheep and people were not understanding why I was upset and it's like that was because you didn't fit in with that energy. Yeah, that's it. It just, and you're, and you've grown past it. That's the other thing. You've grown past any sort of need for it and you're just like catching up or whatever.

One day. It's also funny. Yeah, go ahead. I think it's funny how like you're saying you grew past it, how consciously I didn't know that. But subconsciously, my emotions and reactions were like, you don't need this so I'm not going to suck up to this person yeah and that's what we call over here a purple bomb it's just kind of when you didn't mean to do it but then you kind of did you know like looking back like maybe I did and I don't know like you probably think about other times in your life you're like oh I purple bomb that shit like you go no I've I've it's like a pattern where I've purple bombed a couple places where it's like I don't like the inauthenticity and I'm like I'm out of it's

always a group that I was in that I'm like this doesn't work for me anymore and I know I can't change it and you guys are not going to change so I think it's a self-sabit of this issue yeah that's a purple bomb it's totally cool purple people do it we all know we do it it's fine it's part of us it's part of our language I have to ask you have you ever had this is like a total dispart departure. Have you ever had any paranormal experiences, like ghost sightings, haunted houses, anything crazy happened to you like that? Oh my God, great question. So I believe in them, but I haven't. I think I had like one memory as a kid, like in the middle of the night, feeling like I saw colors and energies. Oh, yeah. But like, and it looked like almost like foxes

chasing each other on the ground. I was like on a bunk bed and they were like very colorful. But like that's and I remember being like a little weird out but but I'm very fascinated by people who have had the experiences. Yeah. And then I have a lot of friends who are like mediums and psychics and they always say that I have like intuitive tendencies but that I'm blocked.

It's just your inauthentic red, which you're getting rid of. So as things start coming to you now, you know like you're going to therapy and all this stuff is happening you'll probably get a lot more stuff kind of it could start happening again because your third eye's unblocked and it's just going to come at you you're so funny like what happens is is like if spirit showed itself to you you'd probably be like oh my god like you'd probably just laugh it off or just be like okay I'm crazy or just like whatever you know just kind of that's like your knee jerk reaction a little bit so it might I think I need to get back into meditating because that's where I think I'll get

back aligned with like all the noises will like quiet down a little um do you meditate oh yeah i do it does help it sometimes it's hard to meditate because like you know you start thinking about your shopping list or like all the crap you got to do but the whole color the thing with you is because you're purple you do get spirit message you just think it's like your own emotion or whatever so it's really just separating probably the thoughts in your head like okay hana's thoughts from Hannah's ego, from Hannah's, you know, spirit guides, you know, like that kind of thing. It's funny because when I was very young, like, maybe 11 years old, I asked my dad a question that I think is so funny thinking about it now, but I just turned to my dad and I said, what are you

supposed to think about all day? An 11-year-old. That's deep. And I remember my dad, like, that is some, like, I'm already having, like, existential crises. Yeah. You were, you started early. And he was like, I remember him kind of laughing. And to this day, it's like, my thoughts are either of these like anxiety thoughts of like people who have like hurt me in the past and like coaches or whatever saying you're not good enough or whatever.

And then I have like my ego. Yeah. Who's like fucking amazing. You're the best. And then I have my insecure side, the coaches and stuff. And then I have I have. And then I have my voices of my perfectionism. that I have my ADD, so like, I'm navigating what I think about each day.

Yeah. Well, your ego tries to come in and remind you of all this stuff from the past. But then sometimes the bad memories, like when you're talking about your coaches or different relationships, that can be spirit being like, hey, dig into that because there's something there. You know what I mean? Like maybe talk to your therapist about that or dig into that or write about that or journal about that or whatever.

You probably have to remove like a lot of, you know, attachments to people from the past too because it's just. just you're still carrying their crap in you because that's what you do too like you can carry other people's you probably like as a little girl carried some coaches need for you to be the best so that they felt good about themselves and you're still freaking carrying that you know it's just to turn into other forms now it's been great though is with stand up i was it because i was like that with sales but with stand up i was able to know it's for no one but myself and it's most thing quick question And how much is our oras associated with, like, your astrological sign?

I have not found a correlation. We're all trying to figure it out for here. Like, we're working on it. We're working on that. There's, like, research happening. Like, I'm always, like, anybody that can explain. And I've had people, like, be like, hey, maybe, like this or whatever. For me, it's more, like, personality types that you chose before you came here, like that,

like filters on your personality. So, like, I wonder if, like, a red Virgo could be this way, but a purple Virgo's this way, you know, or, you know, a yellow Virgo's this way, like that a little bit. I think it's more like that. And if I knew more about astrology, but again, it's like a lot of information for me to have to learn. It's like, oh, out. You know, but I wonder if I learned the language of yours. Yeah, it's like, oh, that's a lot of studying. I'd have to, like, study that.

And I bet I could do, like, red or a virgoes, yellow or, like, each aura color for each astrological sign. that's how I think how long now I'm like fast enough how long does it take you to see someone's aura I see them right away it takes because it's just I see it but then to dig in that can take a little time because like especially like for you for example you're more complicated so you have like that red that's like honestly I don't see it a lot right now I'm just on this zoom call but like on your Instagram or your pictures or this you know it's kind of more there um but yeah so it's like ooh, then right there that it's not here now and it is in other places, that's like, I could talk like, we talked about that.

Like, that's a lot. And then the way that you're blue to go looks and then the messages come. So that's what the whole sessions become like, okay, and I get this and who's this person and why did this happen? So I see them right away, but to explain them properly takes a long time. That's why I feel like when someone's like, you know, you're purple and blue. Like it's fine, but it's not exactly what I do. You know what I mean?

It's more like, okay, it's my gateway. and it gets deeper than that. That is the tip of the iceberg. But I appreciate you understanding that. It's so funny because we talked about it on Giggly Squad. The page is just like, I love pink. And I'm like, it's so much deeper than that. She's hilarious.

But the Gigglers were so funny because they were like, I posted something in this like blue shirt yesterday. And someone was like, that's blue to go. No, like people, like people, like people, When I say they were sending me that tweet, like, DMing me, like, constantly like, you have to tell her. Like, once somebody understands the aura colors, they have this thing where they want other people to understand it at this deep level that they know it. So, like, you can feel validated or whatever. So, but I love Paige because she is pink.

And that has how pink people react. Like, cool. Like, yeah. Yeah. Like, she loves it. Also, yeah, and I'm like, pink. When I was younger, my favorite color was blue, which. is weird.

Oh, yeah. But also, a little deeper. Are you into past lives and do you have the same oras as your past lives? I don't personally do like past life regressions or anything like that. My whole thing is sometimes I'll get glimpses of people's past life during a reading, but not often enough. And I'll get like a lot of people, you know, I talk to a lot of people, they'll get like, you can have like walkbacks to like your own past lives.

Like they feel like a dream, but it's more lucid than that. whatever. No, I feel like you pick different colors every time you come around. It's just a different filter. Like you pick up, it's like a different filter. Like it's just so you can pick up different information. Yeah. Yeah. So freaking fast. Crazy. All right. I absolutely adore you. I'm so, thank you so much for coming on. And where can we check you out? You can check me out on Instagram, Twitter, even TikTok, at Being Burns, B-E-I-N-G, B-E-R-N-Z, and then at HannaBerner.com, you can see my aura in the flesh. I have stand-up comedy, a tour. Where are you located? I'm like 45 minutes north of Miami. Are you coming to Miami? I think I'm going to work on getting into Florida, but I have,

I'm basically all over the place. My tour is being booked as we speak. So I'll be all over the place, check out Hannahburn.com. Oh, I can't wait. Thank you so much, Hannah. thank you michaela and mystic macaela spiritual family thank you so much for coming and hanging out with us today this podcast is for you and about you and you all take care