Berner Phone - Natalie Cuomo: Threesome Exposure Therapy & Tattoos

Episode Date: December 31, 2021

Natalie is a hysterical stand up comedian who is very comfortable in hell. She loves, tattoos, all kinds of pain, and dark humor. She opens up about her biggest insecurities, struggles with socializing, why she would never do onlyfans, and updates on her love life.--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Until like I get my money back. Would you guys kidnap to hook her? And she's like, you're keeping me here. He's like, no, no, no, you can leave. Welcome to Burning Hell. Welcome to another episode of Hell. I have some exciting dates on Hannah Burner.com. I'm going to Boston.

I'm going to Pittsburgh. I'm going to Miami. I'm going to Ohio. I don't know if they're up. If they're not up yet, I apologize. But anyway, it's the devil's doing. We are with a nice Italian girl from Queens. Comedian, producer, former actress, maybe future actress.

Who the fuck knows? Dog mom, tattoo addict, motorcycle, rider. Okay, now I'm just making shit up. Natalie Cuomo, welcome to hell. you did i get your intro right that was beautiful perfect i'm so excited to have you on for so many reasons you also have a podcast called help exclamation mark yes with natalie quomo what do you need help with literally everything because you look like really put together and you're like the girl with tats who looks like she doesn't take shit from anyone you have a funny remark to everything

and you're gorgeous and smart. So what's going on? Well, Hannah. I need to break you down. I'm going to play this intro every single day of you saying this. I think on the outside, well, things might seem fine. I, you know, I'm neurotic, anxious, depressed. Same.

Yeah. Yeah, we walked in and it's like 2 o'clock and you'd think it was 6 a.m. The way I rolled in late and Natalie said she cried this morning. cry about well i'm i'm i'm moving so things are stressful oh yeah moving moving boxes around it's like if it's a stressful wait so you got overwhelmed with the move and you just needed a good cry yes are you a crier yes oh my god i want to be a crier no i literally will start crying and be like suck it up a little bit weak bitch that's my own issue so you're not a crier at all no like i started crying watching king richard and i was like stop it but i think i need a good cry

I feel like I cry too much. What kind of situations make you cry? I cry. I cry watching movies, obviously. I'll watch a sweet movie, Disney movie even. I'll shed a tear. Even a holiday movie, why not? But literally everything makes me cry.

I don't know why. I cry too much. Do you cry when you get angry? I cry after I get angry because I'm mad at myself for getting angry and then I'm like being self-hating about it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. When I get really frustrating in an argument, I will just cry. That's good.

I don't know if it's good because then you can't really express yourself because you're like, and they're like, what are you upset about? And you're like, nah. But it's funny that you were like, you look like such a hard ass, but you're like a little soft teddy bear. Yes. That has a lot of feelings. I am. So why did you get all the tattoos? Take me through that journey. Okay. Well, this is interesting. There are two reasons. One, I've always loved tattoos. And, like, I, my friends were tattoo artists and I really like tattoos. How do you make friends with a tattoo artist? I know. They do seem unapproachable, don't they? Yeah. And also, like, I've never had a tattoo artist friend. And I've been around for 30 years. I've never met a tattoo artist before. I'll introduce you. Okay, cool. Okay. So there's that element. Like, how do you even hang with the, you have to get a tattoo artist, to make tattoo arts friends? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I worked at a coffee shop next to a tattoo shop.

And, like, they'd come in every day, and they all right, all the baristas already had established relationships with all the tattoo artists. Cool. So the. That's a sitcom. Yeah. So we'd give them free coffee. Like, they would just get free coffee.

And then I eventually became the manager of that shop. And, like, when I trained people, I'd be like, this is so-and-so tattoo artists. They get free coffee. Like, it was like that. So then we started, like, trading tattoos. Wait, I love this barista tattoo community. And I like that you just get them caffeinated up to just, like, draw on people all day. in like an very fast, excited way.

Very excited and fast. See, I'm scared to permanently put something on my body. I understand that. I will say, here's this other reason that I got tattoos. And this is like kind of emotional. Maybe early, early podcast. But, okay, I feel like my, I always like tattoos. I got like this little tiny one.

And I was like, ooh, this is crazy. but the first like big arm tattoo I got it was like I had like a I had an experience that where I experienced like physical abuse and there was like I had scars from it and so I like I got tattoos and it was kind of like a way to like take ownership back over my body and it was like very very empowering because I've just I felt like gross and trapped and then I just like when you get a tattoo after that you really feel empowered like you're making your own decisions and then it just starts to feel like it just it just starts to feel like you're taking control over your life and it's cool it almost sounds like you literally change the narrative yes exactly no i think that's fucking awesome that you were able to decide like instead of forcing myself to be reminded of something yeah i can make it like a positive and be proud of it totally did you have people in your life who were against your tattoos yes Who? My mom.

Why? She thinks they're ugly. But it also means like you really have your own voice and you're really doing what you want, not like pleasing other people. Are you a people pleaser or are you really not? I am. I am a people pleaser and it's like this one part of my life where I'm not. Like I just make, it's like I'm the type of person that goes shopping and like do you like these shoes to like three friends. Yes.

But with tattoos, I just get the tattoo. And it's like it's this very like me thing that I do. And it's like I don't really care what other people think. of the tattoo that I'm getting and I don't care I kind of like that my parents don't like it it's kind of like yeah this is me yeah so you kind of do you have a similar experience to like tall guys where you know like tall guy walks in the room and everyone's like well you're tall and you're like yeah I hear that everywhere I go like when you walk in a room so I'm like oh you're tats and you're like yeah or do you like it well in the winter time you go back to me a basic bitch the wintertime

I'm like no one cares you're invisible again but then in the summer I'm go the dog park everyone's like damn bitch but do you feel like your tattoo show like that you have been through shit yeah it's more like these are my friends pieces of art like this is like this is my life like every they were my there it's like it's like it's not like oh this spider means something to me but like when i see the spider i think of this exact moment in my life i remember this exact thing like i just it just reminds you of certain moments in your life I like the way it looks. Like I just, I'm all for making those decisions that are like, my body is mine and I like it.

Do you feel like you attract a certain kind of guy? Like I dyed my hair blonde, which was a terrible mistake in college. And I found myself attracting like different kinds of dudes during those. I mean, I was drunk the whole time. So I don't really remember. But do you think that you attract certain kinds of guys when you're tatted up? I do. Like skateboarders.

yeah or like people with no jobs for sure because like do finance bros hit on you no but i feel like finance bros i would be like the other woman like a finance bro would like fuck me when they're mad at their wife like that's i'm i'm i'm i actually like you're his rock bottom i am i am i am like i'm the what's it called the homewrecker. That's, I have fucked guys that are like pretty clean square cut sweater vest. They go golfing. They're having a midlife crisis. They have a wife and kids and sure they'll send me a pair of shoes or something, but that's the extent of it. You don't have a full finance sugar daddy. It's hard to get a full finance sugar daddy when you have a lot of tattoos because they're not going to flaunt you around. Interesting. Oh, so you've thought of this. No, I'm just

realizing it i'm realizing now why i don't have a sugar daddy you're like well i don't have a sugar daddy either and i don't have tattoos so it's not just your tattoos um we we we talk too much i think i i've dude my i'm such an overshare and i'm trying really hard not to same but i mean it's it's hard but i love to chat that's my favorite part of everything is chatting as someone that drives all the time i like to have my friends that i call in the car and i chat you're so l-a oh my god i do think chat though is something that like as someone who's dated i don't know why but i i am very into like australian british or like irish dudes i see that yeah but it's because they really love the art of the chat like this british guy would always say like you have good chat and they

these guys love the art of conversation where in america i feel like you don't hear people be like oh that person is really good at conversation they might say like oh they have a good vibe or like i like that person or she's hot but the fact that someone recognized that i'm i have quality conversational skills i was like oh fuck yeah well you do number one you're amazing and number two that's personality so that's what bothers me is like the only way i know who you are as a person is by talking to you. Yes. So that's who, like, that's who you are.

Yeah. So that's why chatting is more. My boyfriend calls it yapping. And I don't think it's yapping. I think it's chatting. It is a thousand percent not yapping. Yeah. It's also like you want to feel like you can just say whatever.

And it doesn't matter what the words are coming out. It's like how you make someone feel. Right. And if in that moment you're being open and you just make someone feel. like they belong in that space with you and they can be free with their words and say whatever they want um but yeah some guys are like oh girls talk a lot yes it's like yeah because that's how we like find the vibe that's how we understand people that's how we pick their brains right or as soon as anything like when i finish a day like i check the day off all the first thing i want to do is like

tell my boyfriend everything that happened that day yes and it's like it's like i don't even care if you listen. I just need to tell you everything that happened. You can be playing video games, but I need to tell someone everything that happens. That kind of reminds me of the S&L sketch with Pete Davidson. It's a Pete Davidson, but it's about like boyfriends who don't have their own friends, how like they come home and they just like tell you all these stories and you're like, I don't give a shit. But I do think that a quality relationship is having a boring conversation for the rest of your life with them. And when I say boring, I don't mean like boring, boring but like you're not talking about anything agreed you don't have to have epic flirty mind-blowing

chats every fucking night that's exhausting but also as someone who likes to talk a lot do you like to talk to like a ton of people or do you just have like a small circle i have like my rotation like if this person doesn't pick up i call this person yeah yeah like i have like three people that i call yeah like i can't be charming and like exciting and humorous with more than like two or three people a day I can't. You know those people have like 400 friends that they talk to all time? I'm like, I can't do that shit. No, no, no, no, no.

I couldn't, no. I like to talk to a select few because I really open up. How have your relationship shaped your comedy? What do you talk about on stage? I do talk about my relationships on stage, but they haven't really. I mean, I feel like I'll talk about like having a boyfriend or like something funny that happen but i don't feel like it's shaped like the content of what i talk about what it what drives your comedy and what humor you're looking for hmm i feel like i just want to find the funny in

something so it's like if i find i just want to make people laugh yes and i also i feel i feel like weighed down by like growing up with like i don't know i feeling like on the outskirts of society kind of not on the answer's that sounds dramatic but like kind of feeling like i don't fit in like never being cool yeah so i feel like my comedy is like i like being that voice like being from new york city you're inherently cool not not when everyone's from new york city you're like not queen you know that Natalie grew up right where des grew up it's cool we talked about that this morning and i was like how come she doesn't have a thick queen's accent like you and he's like, I don't know, she's maybe like a different generation.

Why do you think you have a thick queen's accent? Well, you were an actress. Did you like unlearn it? I guess. Do your parents have thick accents? My dad and his side have like accents, but when I'm angry, it comes out. Hell yeah. I feel like sometimes if people meet you, you are quieter in like a group setting,

but then you like command the stage. So that's an interesting like oxymoron going on. It's so funny because I feel like when people haven't seen me perform, they see me perform and they're like who is that like yeah like my boyfriend sister saw me perform at skank fest and she was like oh my god she was like you're so good you're nothing like you are like you are as a person like you're like what the fuck does that mean well it was actually like the biggest compliment ever because i know she would only like be honest with me but she was like you're so she's like you're so put together and like you're so confident like it's crazy

and it's like i really feel like on stage i'm able to like be put together and confident and command a room but like when the behind the scenes i'm like like very insecure very self-conscious very in my head and i feel like my boyfriend he kind of like pushes me to show that more and like to be that more on stage or in podcast but it's like it's hard for me to open up that side of myself because it's like embarrassing and kind of cringy yeah i can relate to you where like sometimes in the green room before the show i'm like in conversations with people and i'm like oh my god like i don't feel that good and then i'm like i just want to be on stage because I actually feel so much more safe on stage

than having to like interact with people But that's just social anxiety I feel like that I deal with It's weird I don't feel I don't feel okay talking to people in group settings I don't feel like I don't know when I'm supposed to say something I if I say something and it doesn't go well Then it's I'm like I'm gonna have a red face hole

It's like but then like if you say something that doesn't go on stage You're very good at like navigating it Right and you're actually nuts like people are so scared of like What if I say a joke and no one laughs And I'm like, but you deal with that every day, but like more on a personal level with people who might not like you where other people on stage know you're just like doing your job. I have this weird thing whenever I see someone and they're like, hey, Natalie. I'm like, oh my God, they don't hate me. Like it's this weird.

I feel like everyone hates me all the time. Why do you think you feel like everyone hates me? I'm falling apart. I'm just like, whoa, they don't hate me. I got to leave now so I don't fuck this up. and on top and on top yeah it's funny with group settings people don't talk about enough because no one teaches you how to socialize in group settings i guess that's what your childhood is supposed to be but i was playing a lot of tennis and doing stupid stuff but like in a group setting i'm like don't know what to do like i'm either all in or i'm either the normal like sometimes butts in like i'm either the party or i want to be at home i want to learn how to be the part i literally this year i was like i want to be the fucking party but i don't know how i'm like i'm not confident in group settings like i'm just like but then you literally perform in front of hundreds of people but that's fine because it's like you're not in control they're shutting up like i know the art of like

how to how to maneuver certain things whereas a group setting if i tried to like do something in a bomb to you're right a group setting is a wild wild west there's no rules you don't have a microphone and i have left group group settings is the ideal where you walk out and you're like like, oh, I didn't do well. Yeah. I feel like in settings where I don't say anything, I'm like, whew, didn't make a bad impression. I do think that when you don't talk, though, people fill in with their own experiences,

what they think you are and it like leaves it up to them. But that's also just like, that's life. You can't control every single person's opinion and lens that they see you through. Right. And then you're like, okay, well, what's the point of me talking to people? It's to have fun. So I should enjoy talking to them too. And then it gets into like, did I even like them?

Like, why do I care what they think if I don't eat? It's like, yeah. And then you're like, if you have a couple bad social anxiety experiences, you're like, well, if this isn't fun for me, then why am I doing this? And I know, you're with your dog all the time for three years. Tell me about your dog. Tell me about your relationship with your dog. Give me the deeds. My dog is the best person I've ever met.

I love him. What's his name? His name is Rory. He's a rescue from Houston. What happened was he was running around the bayou. I got him from a rescue called Joy Rides. They're awesome. They bring dogs from Houston to Jersey City.

And so essentially my dog Rory, he was like running around. And this woman, Amy, who's friends with the person that runs Joy Rides, was going for a run. And she looked at someone and she was like, why is your dog off the leash? And she was like, oh, this isn't my dog. He's been running around the bayou for two months. so she like brought him home and like told the rescue and now he's my baby he barks in creole that's so cute how old was he when you got him he was like almost a year oh do you find it's hard being a comic with a dog it's so funny i feel like there are other elements that like i feel like

oh it's hard being a comic and like having you know a boyfriend with a kid because i want to be home all and have all of those moments like those family moments are all like when i would have spots It's like we're having dinner together and I'm like, do I go do my spot or do I like enjoy this like really sweet time I'm having like this like family time I'm having or do I like go to a spot? I love that you brought that up because we're in similar situations where we're with older guys and we're in parts of our career where like when they were our age, they were hustling like crazy. Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah. But then you also want to experience them where they're at.

Yes. But you also don't want to sacrifice like your own. grind because they are in a different situation in their life a hundred a hundred percent like it's it's so hard because I know that like I would be grinding harder if I wasn't like I'm like so tempted by this like housewife life like I just really like this is nice like it's nice having family time it's like way more awesome than like being at a club like it is I'm scared that I'm going to have a baby and like fall in love with being a mother yeah because people be like oh i don't want to ruin my career by having kid but it's not really like that it's like

what if you find more joy with like having a family right do you do you think that if you ever had your own kid and you have you kind of have your own kid now that it's like enhanced your life a hundred a hundred percent yeah kids kids are so awesome they're present all of all the time they're like i i really love kids i really do they like make me happy And I just feel like they're present. They like see you. They're honest. I really, yeah.

I think that's like one of the most rewarding relationships. If you have a genuine relationship with like a child where you're, it's, it's awesome. I agree. 100%. But also you have a funny relationship timeline. Like I don't know the details or like stent, but you were engaged. You were engaged. Did not end up with that person, but now you have a baby.

but it's not your baby so you kind of went through the do you know what i mean yeah i know it's weird it's weird for sure can i ask you though yeah please when you knew you didn't want to be married so that person yeah i it's it was kind of like the way i would feel in any breakup it wasn't like oh i don't want to marry this person it was like oh i don't want to be with this person so it wasn't it wasn't like oh i love him but i don't know if i can spend my life with him it was like oh i don't want to do this now yeah if that makes sense and you was it like your gut that you listen to because sometimes like once there's a ring on it i feel like it makes things like way more pressure made more complicated for people like oh well he spent money on the ring and like you know we're

planning a wedding or whatever it is but it's interesting you just had a gut reaction like i'm just out yeah we were like we were fighting and there were like other problems in the relationship and we were both like in the motorcycle world yeah and uh it's it's interesting because yeah we were competitive like so i felt like we were competitive being in the same industry and that was also like difficult so i don't know it's it's you just knew yeah i also how long were you engaged maybe a year okay and you weren't planning a wedding yet yeah that's another part where it's like why why are we engaged are we engaged because you want to be like this is my property or because you like actually want to plan a wedding with me yeah it's interesting you brought up

competitiveness because people be like oh it's nice to be with someone who's not doesn't know anything about what I do but then there's cons to that because you sometimes feel like they can't relate to you right and we're both with comedians We do have a lot in common. We do a lot in common. Both comedians, I've been like, you know, I don't think I should be with a comic, but you can't help what your heart desires. But you went from a relationship that was like competitive because you were in a similar industry. And now you're with someone else who's in a similar industry.

But how are you navigating that? He's just so far ahead of me that I would never, I wouldn't. Yeah, we're in similar situation. I just wouldn't even. I wouldn't even try to compare myself. He believes in you. Of course, he believes in me. And, like, he supports me.

But I don't feel competitive with him. I'm also not looking for the same career that he has. Like, I'm also trying to, like, be my own person and not, I definitely don't feel competitive with him, which is cool. Yeah. But I think sometimes it is harder for me to appreciate, like, the small successes that I have because, like, if I compare them to him, it's, like, not a big deal. Like, if I'm like, oh, man, I got, like, this many subscribers or, like, this many views.

like it's if I compare it if that's not a big deal to him but it's a big deal to me so sometimes it's hard for me to appreciate my own like little yeah like yay moment but it's also you nailed it and this is how I think like people should be with everything it's like you're your own person right and you guys have your own careers and he also like he was at a point where he hit those subscribers right like he remembers that time when he was coming up and like does and I have very different careers. But because he has like had he's been in the industry for so much longer than than me, I feel like he has a good advice. I think, okay, the best advice that Lewis has given me. And it's funny because my podcast is, it's called help. I make every guess tell me the best

advice they ever received. And this wasn't even on my podcast. But I think about this advice he gave me and I actually give it to other people. But it's like, like, he's always like pretend you're your own manager and deal with this as if like it's not you dealing with it. It's like you advocating for you. Like, how would, like, you have to take, because you're the product, right? So it's hard to, like, deal with situations when, like, you're talking about yourself. But if you step outside of it, it's like, well, how would, how would you deal with this if you were your own boss? And it works with, like, friendships and stuff like that, too. Do you think that you guys have bonded over hard things that you've both been through in your life?

Yeah, I mean, he's definitely had more hardships than I have. But I definitely, I feel like I used to feel like this. And it's a very angsty way to feel. And I still kind of feel that way. Like, I'm like, I can be with someone who didn't, like, deeply struggle because that's, like, where my heart is. So I feel like, oh, they people, someone wouldn't understand me if they hadn't gone to, like, a very dark place in their life. But it's funny because everyone goes through hard times in different ways. So it's hard to measure, like, what their struggle is.

Like, does have cancer. Yeah. And I was like, I can't compete with that. And I'll be like, bitch. You win. All comics went through hard times. Yeah. then we wouldn't know how important laughter is.

You know what I mean? That's true. Like we try to make people laugh every day because I think it's like even if we can't, at least we know we can make someone. Yeah. And we know how painful it is to not laugh. And it's like, A, it takes you out of your own life. And also, I mean, every time something bad happens to me, I'm like,

all right, it's just making me funnier. And it's true. It does just. So he talked about this on Legion of Skanks, but. we were in Vegas like two weeks ago and we were going to have a threesome with a hooker okay this is the stuff we need to get to we were going to have a threesome with a hooker and we're in Vegas wait what's the between like a hooker and a prostitute and a stripper I don't know a person you pay to have sex with we're in it's she comes to the room

not not this not the girl from the picture so we've had threesomes before and it's like it's so it wasn't like the first it wasn't like the first time so this the girl shows up she's not the girl from the picture okay fine she sits down and she's like okay so like you know whatever five hundred dollars and pay it to like this LLC so he like he's he zels the LLC 500 and she's like okay so have you done this before and he's like yeah but like uh and she's like so that goes to the agency and like if you want anything else that that's comes from me and that's going to be like X amount of money and he's like wait wait wait so like he's like I need my $500 back and she's like well I can't give it to you and so we're just like

I mean we're just like in this this is like being at a restaurant ordering a steak and they give you chicken nugget and then you owe them more money and then freaking out like but way worse but we're like not going to fuck I mean it was like we're not going to have sex with this person because a is not the person from the picture B we'd have she wanted $2,500 so he's like was she cute no it was crazy and also like you're not gonna want to fuck maybe i mean you could like want to hate fuck now that you've like ripped us off yeah that doesn't turn me on honestly losing money makes me dry up so fucking fast yeah so basically he's like calling the he's like that like i need the money back he was having a full care moment with the hooker he's like i need you're

She's on the phone with someone being like, they don't want to tip. Like, because that's like her like, her thing. He's like, you need to get like, you're not leaving until, until like I get my money back. Would you guys kidnap to hook her? And she's like, you're keeping me here. He's like, no, no, no, you can leave. He's like, he's like, wait, can I see your handcuffs for a second? My point is, it made us funnier.

Because, I mean, we love $500. Do you, okay, well, this is fascinating in itself. Yeah. Do you, have you had three sums before? Yes. Do you enjoy them? Yeah. I mean, it has to be a very specific, like, situation.

Well, I've heard that people prefer when it's someone who's like a professional, not like a friend or someone you randomly meet, that it's easier when it's like more transactional. Is that what you find? Um, I feel like a professional is cool. but it's also like I find it to be cool and like I have a relationship with the like I'm able to I don't know when it's like when I have a relationship with the other person and it's not just like a random friend or something yeah yeah do you feel like he's helped open your mind to like new fun sexual experiences or have you guys always kind of been on the same page with what you're into we've been on the same page like I'm I feel like we explore stuff together and we'll both be doing stuff and feel it. And I'll be like, I've never done this before. And he'll be like, I've never done this before. And we're like, cool.

Wait, you guys are fun. It's funny, though, because he's also like a zaddy. He is a zaddy. So he is so hot. I hate it. I hate that I'm so attracted to him. I hate it. I hate it.

But you know, it's so cool. It's like, I mean, I'm really talking like this isn't a podcast right now and it is. But that's fine. I'm a very insecure and jealous person. I never thought that I'd be a person that's like cool with having threesome's but it's like it's made me so much more confident in our relationship really yeah it's like I know that it's just like made me feel really grounded in our relationship I know our relationship is just like more than that it's not because like your biggest fear is seeing your dude right sex with

someone else yeah I mean you could be into it but like how has seeing that made you feel more secure could you see how it's different with him and someone else or no because like I know that like him and I are like building a family we have like this strong foundation it's like yeah we'll fuck we'll fuck someone together like that's cool but like it doesn't have anything to do with like the love that we have for each other and it's like it's something we're doing together i don't feel like like there's no moment where i feel like i'm being excluded or something you know what i mean yeah so it's like i feel like it just gives me more trust it's like oh he's we've had this experience with another girl and he still wants to do with me that's cool like it's it's oh

it's almost like going towards your fear and conquering it exactly three sums are exposure therapy oh my god this is very interesting and i love how you were like i'm stereotypically a jealous person i i said on a podcast probably like less than two years ago like if someone wanted me to have a threesome i like but i like i'm finding myself like being attracted to women i'm finding myself like i'm finding myself like i'm finding myself being into the girl like it's like a different it's not like we're having three sums all the time but like I just feel like it's really changed my ability to feel like confident in a relationship like you know those times where you're like like I'm not sitting there comparing myself to like other girls being like am I prettier than them like is he going to be with someone that's

prettier than me like no I know our relationship's deeper than that and that because we can like share sexual experiences with other people and like together obviously yeah I mean, if he cheated on me, that would be different. Yeah, yeah. But, like, the fact that we're doing it together is, like, a shared experience. I don't know. Because, yeah, you don't see it now as something like he just wants to be with someone else. It's more like, oh, this is hot for both of us and enhancing.

Yeah, he's like, I wouldn't want to do it if it didn't turn you on. Like, if I wasn't into it, it wouldn't be fun for him. It would be, like, weird. So occasionally, you'll get a hooker that tries to rip you off. But besides for that, it's been positive. Yeah. okay this is amazing we need to wrap this up oh god i'm gonna have to go and be like louis i said some shit time to play the seven deadly sins please are you ready let's fucking go i feel like you belong here

seven deadly sins what are you greedy about affection and attention what's your love language words of affirmation i'm used to being with that like I wake up and they've written me a 10 page essay about how my feet are the most beautiful thing in the world like I so I am used to like words are your feet beautiful no I just said feet I mean they're okay but I'm just used to like words of affirm like I'm used to I love words of affirmation what's your sign said charius okay I'm a Leo it's like after a comedy show yeah you just we're doing it for the sound of laughter we want to hear it did a good job don't ask me where the bathroom is please ask somebody else don't ask me why the waitress hasn't brought in your

drink yet tell me that i'm a comedic genius don't tell me you want to cancel the nachos i love how comedy is being a bathroom attendant also people don't talk about that it's true who are you envious of i don't know i think i feel envious of people that have I feel envious people that have their life together, I guess. Yeah. I don't know if there's a specific person that I feel envious of. Yeah. Well, define life together.

If I felt, I would feel envious of a future me. Wait, that's kind of hot. Yeah. I feel envious of a future me that doesn't have to think about money, feels really cozy in their home, you know, has everything, always feels like they're wearing a good outfit, It walks away from every conversation being like, yep, and isn't on as many meds. That's the future me that I'm envious of. Okay, this is interesting, though, because you're like, oh, I want a cozy home and to not worry about money.

But you literally went into acting in comedy. Yeah. But you also lean towards things that challenge you, I feel like. I mean, literally the things that make me happy are like creative, like, performing and creative expression since I was a kid like I would put on shows for my parents yeah well I'm to tell you something right now you are going to create a cozy home because that's like an eight for you like that's just what you have to do yes and it takes time like if it was easy everyone would have it but like you're doing that currently yeah and then also you're going to be financially stable and

think about like where you are in your life you've always found a way yeah so it's like you actually people i feel like sometimes worry way more about money than considering like the amount of times that they've actually been fucked you know what i mean yeah right the anxiety of money is so fucking like more annoying too just being like just not knowing i think it's like the freelance struggle like i'm i know the next paycheck is going to come i don't know from where but i know it's going to come i have a question why haven't you started only fans um okay this is interesting I so I did one topless shoot yeah and I feel like I would make a lot of my and only fans yeah because I feel like I feel a lot of people have asked me I have like that kind

of following it's just I really do want to be taken seriously as a comic and as an entertainer and I also like you think that you're like ready for your nudes to be out there but like when your body is like when people are constantly talking shit about your body it's I don't I can't I can't deal with it. Like, I just don't, I always felt so, like, it just, it does get to you. Yeah. I can't. Well, maybe that photo going out and you receiving any, like, backlash was assigned

from the universe being like, this isn't your path. I was going to, so I was going to do suicide girls this year. I was, like, going to fly out. And then I canceled, like, a week before because I was like, I don't want that. I don't want to take the truth. What is suicide girls? It's like Playboy, but, like, with tattoos. Okay, cool.

So it's like X. It's like soft-core porn kind of. Yeah. But it's like I just, I want to like put everything into like being funny and comedy. Like if that fails, like sure. You all, but I like the idea that worst case scenario, you know how to make money if you needed to. And also you don't even have to show your nipples. Like you don't even like.

You just put like picture. You're just like risque. Like I know some girls who are just risque on it. I feel like people, I feel like people will subscribe. They'll be like, oh. And then not pay for the next month. Maybe. I don't know. I'm not that well versed in only fans. But I mean, some people don't even do nudes and only fans. It's just like more exposure in their life. Sonny Morgan, who knows.

But also, I don't have an only fan. So I just like, that's not the fault. Like, I respect everyone that has an only fan. I think it's awesome. Just because you're really good at something doesn't mean it's what you're meant to do. It's not the, it's not the. Just because you know guys will pay to see your tits does not mean you need to do it. I want them to pay to see my comedy. Also, worst case scenario, you and Lewis could put. hood out like a sex tape that had um humor in it yeah humor in it like you guys like it was funny too like a sex tape with comedy a funny i'll invest i'm investing where do i sign up um what what do you glutness about what do you over indulgent um okay i love indian food wait i love indian food

i can't order it without being disgustingly full and eating like my face do you go spicy i do go spicy okay that's impressive i go mild because i'm white but i also feel like when i i like the pain i love i literally is the difference between me and you i mean i love pain too but not as outward i love you like you love tattoos like the process of it you're like fuck me up yeah do you like being choked yeah yeah okay so i think something's i like it also question you mentioned you mentioned pills. What are you on? I'm on... What's the cocktail? Zoloft and Wilbutrin. What are they do? They're anti-depressants, anti-anxiety medications. Because I'm on Paxil, which I think is an SSRI. Why are you on two? Because I have anxiety and

depression too. Yeah. I guess it's, it was hard for me to find like the, I've tried a lot of SSRIs. Like, I've tried Louvox, Prozac, and Lexapro, and I just felt like they're helping me, but, like, this isn't the quality of life. Like, other people aren't living like this. Like, this is not the quality of life that, like, I'm supposed to be experiencing. They numb you? No. I did feel like some of, some of the other ones, like, made me really tired. But I guess then I went on Zoloft. I was like, I feel good, but I just don't feel like this is, like, right. This is not how I'm supposed to be experienced. Like, I'm just too, too anxious. And so, like, he added will vutrin and I feel like yeah helped oh so when you say this isn't how I'm supposed

to be experiencing life human like it wasn't taking your anxiety away right I feel like like you're not supposed to be this anxious every day like it's just not it's just like when you say anxious you mean like like running thoughts spiraling like worrying about everything or how does your anxiety show itself yeah I feel like like like or like panic attacks like I chemically I'm not at a place where I'm going to fall into a panic attack, whereas, like, I feel like I'd walk around being like, I'm going to have a panic attack today. So I don't want, like, worried about that. You know what I mean? How long have you had panic attacks? Years. But it's funny that, like, you'll walk around, like, oh, my God, I'm scared. I'm going to

have a panic attack. But you're also like, I will put that needle in my arm. You know, you can't sound like I'm a heroin out of it. No, yeah. I didn't mean like that. But you're like, but I will make a decision. decision that will change how my body looks forever that will hurt for multiple hours it's so weird like that gives me anxiety why you know it's you take away this thing of thinking about like oh this is the first big tattoo you get you like look in the mirror and you're like this is my skin forever yeah but then after that you're like yeah whatever like I get a tattoo and I literally forget that I got it an hour later um when was the last time you experienced extreme wrath do you have an angry side

extreme wrath yeah anger yeah I've been I actually have been so good oh my god i'm proud of you i really have i used to i used to get angry pretty like pretty small things yeah now i feel like i don't really get that angry why do you think i don't know i guess therapy it's kind of like how when you think a show is a big deal and you're like oh my god the show is a big deal i'm so nervous and you do it and you realize it's not going to change your life at all yeah i feel like that about anger yeah yeah oh i love that metaphor that it or it like kind of worsens it you're like oh now I might have hurt someone right it was not right necessary well it's last time we were a sloth so like lazy piece of shit

well I've been smoking a lot of weed and actually is like one of my goals is to not smoke as much weed because I feel like it's making me it's making me lazy like I feel like I'll let her like smoke weed, lie on the floor and be like, I should do that. I like weed. I'm just smoking too much weed. I'll be like, I'm going to do the dishes. And then I'll take a dab and be like, I won't be doing the dishes. See, that's me, but minus the weed. I'm like, I'm going to do the dishes. And then I'm like, no, I'm not doing the dishes. When was that time you let your pride or your ego get in the way of something? I feel like there's like friends that I'm not friends anymore that if I really didn't have an ego, I would have a conversation with them.

And I'd be about why we're not friends. I would apologize. There are people I'd apologize to if I didn't have the fear of, like, rejection and like my own ego. There are people that I would definitely be like, I've wronged you and I'm sorry. Yeah. Was last time you lusted over someone besides your boy toy? Like, do you have a celebrity crush?

I don't have a current celebrity crush. crush but I do have when I was in like middle school I was obsessed and I hope you know this I was obsessed with Cole Spouse in a way that in a way that is horrifying wait how old are you I am 26 why not Dylan are you kidding me? I like don't even know the different are you kidding at me wait how are they different sorry Dylan if you're listening I like you too you wouldn't fuck Dylan Sprauss? I would if it's all I could get, you know? If there was one man left in the world.

Okay, I don't think I had like an unhealthy teenage obsession with Cole Mitchell Sprouse, okay? Oh, Mitchell. Yep. I have, I literally like, you know those magazines like Tiger Beat and stuff like that? Yeah. I would go to CVS, look through them, see if Cole was in them. Yep, he's in this one.

Mom, we got to get it. We'd get it. And like, Tave his picture. I couldn't have family in my room because my room was covered in pictures of Cole Spouse. I mean, I, it was like a serial killer. What do you think about him now? He was like a, I would not fuck him now. He's like a child, but I would for my younger self.

Dylan Sprouse is kind of like the bad boy, I feel like. He is, but like, man, Cole is so, like, looks on the one, who's not been Sweet Life of Zach and Cody? Yeah, who is Cole dating? I, I've lost track, but I did used to know his favorite cereal. I mean, what was his favorite cereal? That's important. Mini wheat thins. I mean, I just have problems.

Oh, okay. I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah. Interesting. Okay, this is fun. Okay, finally to wrap this up. We have issues. The end. No. What advice would you give to people on how to cope with their health? When you're going through it, when shit is dark, when it's bad, what do you do? Okay. I guess this is something that I've been doing. Have you heard of the four, seven, eight breath? No. So essentially, you like take a step. you breathe in for four seconds, you hold it for seven seconds, and then you exhale for eight seconds. You do that a couple times and it like does reset things a little bit. And then you just kind of like are more present. It's going to pass. I always like go to a different room, change the surroundings, like walk outside.

Like I think it's always helpful for me. Like say I'm at home and I'm upset if I like go for a drive. Yeah. Or like if you leave that space. But yeah, just remember. it's not going to last forever and you're in control and you're the best even when you think you're not yeah you're the fucking best everyone else no you rock oh my god i love you natalie where can people listen to you watch you follow you give me the goods um you can follow me on

instagram at natalie quomo underscore i'm also on ticot and twitter at natalie quomo or you can listen to my podcast help with natalie quomo and find it on youtube.com slash natalie quomo thank you hannah And we did an episode together and it's fucking awesome. So after this, binge that. Everyone loves this episode. Like they actually, it's so crazy because the episode's about female friendship. And it's about how like it's hard to make friends as like a woman as an adult. Someone came to my show at the stand because they listened to that episode.

Oh my God. This girl. And she was like, yeah. I really am proud of that episode. Anyway, we love you all and we'll talk to you later. Inhale. Bye. Thank you.