Berner Phone - Naz Perez: Producing The Bachelor & Perfectionism

Episode Date: August 27, 2020

Naz explains how to survive heartbreak, being a producer on the Bachelor, how sleep changed her life, being in a loneliness epidemic, never having a boyfriend, being too agreeable, disconnecting from your phone, who she would hook up with on The Bachelor, and how to flirt really fucking well.--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Burning in Hell. What's up, guys? It is another episode of Burning in Hell. And today I am with my friend, TV producer, host, and podcaster. And she's up to bazillion things, I think. We're going to get into it. But Naz Perez, welcome to hell. How are you feeling?

I'm feeling so enamored by you. I just think you're such a light in this world. Like, I really, it was so funny right before we hop on, I was talking to my friend. And I was like, I got to hop off. I got to hop on a podcast now. And I was like, do you know Hannah Burner? She's like, oh, my God, yeah, like I watch Summerhouse. She's like, she is the fucking shit.

She's like, she is so cool. She was telling me. And full disclosure, I've never seen Summerhouse ever since I left, like, working on Bachelor. I actually don't even really watch reality shows. But she was telling me just like, I don't know, a little bit about you and Luke and like, I don't know, a little stuff. And we just like came to the conclusion where like the world needs more Hannah Berners. Like you're just so cool. And to be honest, like, cry right now.

We just started. And we are like in hell, you know, like Earth is hell. I was interviewing Keanu Reeves on Sunday. And he was like, you know, we're all just like, we're all just like humans on a big rock in space. And I was like, yeah. you're so right i love that was like the best name drop that ever happened because kiana reeves is going through right now and that everyone used to make fun of him and then people started to learn about his day-to-day life and how he seems to be this like pretty incredible guy and how everyone

is obsessed with him and just shows how like media perception is so easily skewed right which which you know i hate i hate so much but yeah the kiano sans is real he's the most warm genuine human i mean i met him over the computer. I wish I would have met him in person, but I agree. And I think I hate how the media skews people into being so one dimensional. It's partially why I hate social media and why I really strive whatever I put out on my Instagram to not be the Dodgers girl or the movie film girl or the fashion girl or this. It's like, I'm like all of those things, you know. Yeah, I think I feel very connected to you because I think we're similar in that I don't ever want to be put in a box is one thing and but people

fucking hate when they can't put you in the box people are like no no no you're a host and you're like no like the fact that I was doing stand up and on reality TV people are like that's not allowed but it's like now you've made it allowed so then other people can do it and you're like but I want people

to know a little more about kind of what you do because I went on your website and you can update me but you got your start actually on the Ellen show in production daytime talk show then you went on to produce for easy live red carpet and the popular e true hollywood story docu series which i fucking love i know t hs was the shit so you know many like days i've lost hours of just being like please tell me about the

e true hollywood story of this random celebrity that i've seen in one movie yeah um then you produced five seasons of the number one primetime show on abc the little devils love the bachelor the bachelorette and bachelor in paradise wow um and you're also you like you like left reality TV in 2017 to pursue a career on camera. And you're currently doing on camera for anyone from the Dodgers to Rotten Tomatoes, Fandango, T-Mobile. She's fucking everywhere. I know. It's so, it's so disgusting, actually. But it's not disgusting. I literally was trying to get you on the pod. And Michelle was like, we need a time. And I'm like, she needs a time in like, two months. And she's like her whole schedule is booked. Yeah. And that's the kind of hustle.

You're kind of like that too, I feel like. Yes, I respect it. But I also, I love napping. I wish I could fucking get on the nap game like I did God just didn't give me that gene do you sleep well yeah so I learned actually I took this on free online course at EAL you know that everyone did like during quarantine like it was like scrolling around on Facebook like everyone's aunt was posting it and I was like eye rolling and it's called the science of well-being highly recommended actually one of the best things I've ever done in lockdown and yeah it's eight hours of sleep is a medicine and the answer to everything in your life I was producing Bachelor I would actually average like four to six hours of sleep with every night for like years and I was that's actually sleep deprivation. So now I get eight hours of sleep Hannah and I'm like my cognitive skill. It's like literally like medicine. It's like what did what did Charlie Sheen like always joke? Like was it tiger blood or something? Remember he'd be like I have tiger blood? Like it's like it's honestly like the secret to life is getting eight hours of sleep. Which hours are you sleeping? So 11 to 7 are my hours. Wow. I like was watching the Kevin Hart documentary and he was just like

sleep when you're dead like i don't sleep and i'm like i would be terrible on podcast comedy anything i'm doing if i didn't sleep also reality tv i would murder people yeah like it's exhausting it's grueling those schedules it's grueling grueling lastly you do something very cool which is called heartbroken anonymous can you tell the little devils a little bit about it yes devils gather around the cauldron so basically heartbroken anonymous started when i left the bachelor i was unemployed also i'd like never had a boyfriend and i wanted to be a host and um my neighbor knocked on my door who had only really met twice and she was crying hysterical crying she's like i'm sorry no we don't really know each other i just need somebody to talk to and i was like of course so not a new york

thing by the way in new york i'm like she's gonna rob me she's trying to rob my apartment this is like coming from like i'm from south florida like you grew up in boker ritone and like whenever jehovah witness would knock on the door my mom would be like get under the table it's a drive by and i'm like mom it's just a person wanting to read the bible like it's fine they're just warning us about armageddon that did come a couple months ago yeah and i joke about that because my mom my both my parents lived in new york for a while you know queens were dominican so they have that very like mentality where it's like who's knocking on the door you know yes yes um so yeah so she knocks on my door and I let her in and she tells me, you know, she was with this guy for like 10 plus years.

They broke up. Of course, you know, devastating breakup. He moved out. And it's sort of like, it was a very emotional, like, visceral heartbreak where I could feel that I could see the pain on her body. You know, when you're crying, you're like, you know, it's just like, it was like all consuming. And I was like, wow, this is so weird. Like, I barely know this person. And they feel so comfortable opening up to me.

And she even told me, she's like, I feel so much better talking to you. I can't talk to my mom or my sister about this. And I was like, why? And she's like, well, they're going to tell me to move on and then I'm so much better than him. And I just, I don't know. It's like, I know that, but I'm physically not ready to hear that yet. And I still, after I, after that interaction, I started to think about the concept of how we are more willing to tell strangers how we actually feel about things in our own friends and family because we're always in fear of being judged. And then I started to think about, well, that's how, it's kind of how we make the bachelor, right?

Like the cast members, like, literally, like, we truly become a family and friends. and like you just you're more willing to tell someone that's like not in your life like how you actually feel and so I started to think about that concept for like couple months I was dating someone who I fell in love for the first time that's a story for another day but I got blindsided and I felt heartbreak for the first time in my life which was kind of crazy because I had interviewed people about love and heartbreak on the show for so long and so but I never felt it and Hannah I was debilitating like was this after before I met you this was before this is too I sorry this is 2016 okay sorry the beginning of 2017 end of 2016 i always get confused with like the end

to begin so just think 2017 basically i had like left the show so it was before i met you um and so yeah so i couldn't sleep i had nightmares i didn't want to eat i literally developed a like rosacea like pitteriasis rosacea it was called and i went to a dermatologist and i'm like what's going on and they're like you either have herpes or you're really stress and i was like what the fuck and i was like oh my god and they're like what's going on in your life and i'm like what's going on in your life and I'm like well like going there this breakup and they're like yeah well that's it and I'm like are you fucking kidding me like this person has control over like the physicality on my body and and I remember just thinking what the fuck how does nobody talk about how shitty this is like

I'm this grounded incredible human I work hard I love people I'm really I don't want to say I'm really smart but you know I think of myself as someone who's like you know smart and you took a well-being course I took that free course say Yale girl I pay $70 to that certificate like watch out anyway so again 2017 so I remember Googling I was so sad and I was taught I have great support system great friends and family but even talking to them you know their lives were great it just wasn't the same it felt so helpless I remember I remember Googling like how can I make this feeling go away like I literally felt hostage and I came across all this research that states the same part of your brain that lights up when you're going through

physical pain is the same part of your brain that lights up when you're going through emotional pain And I just thought to myself, that's insane. So you're telling me, like, if I get physically sick or something happens or I stub my toe up against the bed, I can go to the doctor's, get a note, tell my job, call my job and be like, hey, I'm not feeling well. Like, I can prove it. Here's the note. This is what the doctor says. I need time to rest. But if I'm going through any kind of heartbreak and just let me just side note real quick, heartbreak to me is overwhelming distress.

It's not a guy dumping a girl. It is losing a pet, losing a dog, having a miscarriage, not feeling like you belong. having no friends, being in a fight with your mom, et cetera, et cetera. Like, the list of heartbreak is endless. So I'm like, you can go through all that stuff and you have literally have to wake up the next day and resume life as is. Like, that's insane. And all those things are things that hurt happiness.

And I always think about like what we learn in school. And we don't learn about how to cope with those things that are inevitable in our life. No, we don't. There's no, there's no structure for, um, how to deal. There's no resources for mental health in our country. And that's something I quickly realized. because I started going to therapy after the breakup and I was like this shit's expensive

like my parents have never given me a dollar like I've had to pay for everything like I need to pay this and I still go to therapy and I love therapy and just to say I am a massive proponent of therapy but it was insane that that's sort of like the only thing right that you can think of imagine like middle school them having a class

about like healthy communication or like how to deal with conflict like that's what I want to learn in school not the Pythagorean theorem yeah no one gives a fuck about the Pythagorean theorem and maybe teach us more, like, real black history. Maybe that would solve a lot of fucking issues in the world. And I don't even want to say black history.

Maybe just, like, real American history is how I should free. Just, like, not fake history that a white man wrote in a textbook to make him feel less guilty. Yeah, not all this whitewash BS. Like, I literally made Indian feathers out of construction paper and put them on my head, like, for Thanksgiving in, like, first grade, you know? It's like, we've come such a long way. Anyway, so, Hannah, I started to think of the whole education system. them right now get to voss on the phone um so basically what was i saying so i started to think about like

how cool it be like my producer brain was like if i if there was like a love heartbreak rehab like heartbreak hotel you check in there's like adam sandler and drew barry more movies in one room and like puppies in another room and like ice cream in another and you just like check that of life and you just like were sent there to feel better and then i was like okay naz what is the realistic version of this because because there is one i mean that could be an amazing TV show. I know. That's what I thought. That's what I was thinking as a show, but then I was like, what about a real thing, right? So I went to a couple Al-Anon meetings, studied their format, and that's really how the concept of Heartbroken Anonymous came to be. So in a really long-winded

answer, Heartbroken Anonymous is a free support group for people that are heartbroken, any kind of heartbreak where you come, you sit, and you share stories with strangers to remind yourself that you're not alone and to really get things off your chest and remind yourself that it's okay to feel sad and it's okay to be in heartbreak um you know we're we're in this pandemic right now but i think people don't really realize that we're in an epidemic of loneliness and i think most people are inherently lonely so now i'm doing them virtually over zoom every other week and it's been incredible people from around the world are connecting and sharing their story it's not it's not a 12-step program like aa it's literally just a group where you can connect with other people that are dealing with some really hard

tough things i'm one of those people that when i have anxiety about something i know that if i keep it in it'll just spiral and get bigger. So I'm that person that will, like, call a friend and be like, was it weird when I said that on a podcast? And they'll be like, what? They're like, it's totally cool. And I'm like, okay, done, put that in a drawer, never look at it again. But I feel like you ever have a heartbreak where you just can't stop word vomiting about

it because you haven't figured it out. But your friends are like, if you say his name around me one more time, I will block your ass. So it sounds like a heartbroken anonymous is incredible. to have that safe space, but has it been hard to find people who want to be vulnerable? No, which is so incredible. So, like, it's funny because a lot of people, I know it's, like, intimidating, but sharing is also encouraged, but it's not required.

So some people just come and listen. But I remember after I did the first meeting in person, I had this overwhelming feeling. Like, I had everyone on, you know, all my bachelor friends post about it. Like Cosmo called me. They did an article on it. And I remember waking up the first day in the meeting. And I was like, why the fuck did I do this? This is terrifying.

everyone in my life's going to be like, how to go? And I'm going to be like, you know, like, I'm not a therapist. I don't know what I'm doing. But you like to do things that scare you, I feel like. I do. I love being uncomfortable. I think fear is amazing. I think fear keeps us safe, you know, but I think it also keeps us from doing a lot of things.

And I think on the other side of fear, there's like immense growth. And so after that first meeting, what blew me away was the diversity of like men, women, like gay, transgender, black, white, Spanish, some person struggling with alcohol who came up to me. and they were like, you know, A.A. is helping me, you know, not, not drink, but they're not helping me fix the reason why I'm drinking. And I got like chills. And I was like, holy shit. Like the alcohol might not be the problem. It's the heartbreak. That's the problem. It's a heartbreak. And that's what, and no one talks about it. And we're all feeling this way deep down. And there's, there's so much shame around being lonely. And it's like, but we're all feeling this, you know. And there were

straight guys that came. And they're like, you know, I, uh, I talked to my friends about my heartbreak. And I'm really sad right now. Like, they're, Equally they're humans like us like we forget Hannah because I know I feel like you and I have been burned ha ha pun intended in like many ways But it's like men men are the same they have feelings and they need a vent and they're like I talk talk to my friends and they're like cool bro She was so crazy you're gonna save so much money now and they come and they're crying You know and it's like so so yes it is hard to be vulnerable but I think people need it now more than ever I think a lot of the problems we have in this world you know systemic races a lot of it is just like a lack of empathy I don't think people take the time to listen and see each other and I didn't take the time to listen

and it starts with being empathetic with yourself too right I struggle from perfectionism disease so that's something I've really tried to work through in the last year and I'll always have to battle but yeah I'm extremely hard on myself and it's just there's more hope and togetherness than being alone when you listen to other people's stories you're like wow like everyone everyone kind of is battling something you know and we're all we really are just people on a rock in space trying to figure it out, you know? Yes, Kianu was right. Kiana was right.

I feel like I'm like you where I suffer from perfectionism. And the way I've almost coped with it is like really coming to the truth that I am like perfectly not perfect. Like even like I would go on podcast before and I'd be like I have to nail it. Everything has to be funny. And I remember one day I went in and I was just like, I think I was like hungover at some radio show and I just like didn't give a fuck. And afterwards they were like, that's the best you've ever done.

And I was like, wait, so the first time I'm not, like, obsessing over being good, I did well. And that's when I realized, like, oh, me being my imperfect self is where the actual gold comes in. It's almost like with reality TV, like the best moments are when you release. Right. When you're not structuring about how is this going to, how are people going to interpret this? It's so funny. My version of that as a TV presenter and correspondent and host now is like, I would, I would cry, Hannah. if I went into an interview and I asked the questions even out of order or if I pronounce

someone's name wrong or if I forgot something for a second. And it's just, I would literally get so down on myself. And it's funny because I've been so successful by beating myself up that I'm like, I don't want to switch it. I literally told my therapist, I was like, I can't, I cannot do this because like, I'm going to be mediocre and this is how I've gotten to where I am. And my therapist is like, Naz, if you prepped less, you would be better. You would be more NAS you would actually be better and I'm like and I'm like holding on to like you know those those fucking noodles in the pool and I'm like but I don't want to let go of hating myself I don't want to let go you're not in the deep end you could just stand up it's like bro you're in three

feet of water like stand up you're fine everything's great like you're amazing and I'm like no I need this I always love sports analogies as in like with boxing if you hold your fist really tight and you try to punch it's it might be right but it's not going to have the same effect than when you're loose and actually throw a punch that's like power and that's wait you and i are literally soulmates because i know i box two years ago and i just started playing tennis which i'd love to ask you about because i know you used to play tennis competitively i saw your instagram and i was like okay bitch my parents never put me in one thing which i was so fucking mad about so i'm mediocre at everything but i am so impatient i'm an aries i'm a perfectionist that i actually take on sports like one

a different one a year to remind myself that it takes time to get good and to allow myself to be a beginner because it's really hard for me. I get really annoyed and angry when I'm not good at something. And so you brought up boxing and boxing is a perfect example. It's like everyone's got a plan until they get punched in the face. Like my face and said that. You know, it's like you, it is like the person that's loose. It's not like like the guy in the gym that's like, ha, ha, ha. It's like you're, you're going to fucking like die in a fight. You know, like you're just, you're too prepped, you know? Yes. And you have to make sure your perfectionism doesn't prevent you from doing things. And it sounds like, like, because that's the hardest thing. When people.

People are too scared to start something. My thing is I will start and if I fail, fail fast and be like very open. Like, yep, I did not think this through. This was bad. Move on and it's okay. Also, back to heartbreak, though, producing The Bachelor and seeing people's hearts being broken, like 99% of them, how did that affect your experience with love or like learning about heartbreak or understanding love? Because I remember when I met you kind of mentioning that you haven't had a lot of relationships. So I want to kind of check in on your heart.

Yeah, I love that. How's your heart is my favorite question. I've never had like a real boyfriend, like the Webster definition of it where I've been like exclusively with another person and I know that they're with me. The heartbreak that led to Heartbroken Anonymous was really like I was living in the gray area and anxiety,

you know, and I was always wondering like, are we together, are we not? So I've had a lot of situationships like that, but never like the real, real thing. Working on The Bachelor really open my eyes. to how universal love and heartbreak is and why the show is so successful because it's not the first reality romance show. It's just, I think it was the first one that was really good. It's been on air for over like 15 years. And, you know, I remember when I was working there, we would laugh

and be like, wow, we make the same show every year. And like, it has to reinvent itself in a certain way, but like what really draws people in and what I really enjoyed doing as a producer was the exit interviews so it's when someone's leaving the show and they're sort of like you know in that van and they're just they're sort of just saying what everyone was feeling like how mad or sad they are that it didn't work out how they just want to feel like they belong and that and i i really loved those moments because i felt like they were the most human and i think what people feel a lot of people make fun of the bachelor a lot of people always ask me is it real is it not real it's a thousand percent real um it's not scripted and what i love about it is in in what capacity do you really get to

see someone a real person on television open up like that like we see it in movies but like they don't even really harp on the heartbreak as much you know it's like it's like they sort of get over it or you know or they like start messing with other people right away yeah or it's just i don't know it's like i remember i didn't work on colton season i don't know if you even watch Bachelor by the way but i do okay what like when they played colin and cassie's conversation i remember feeling so proud that i had worked on a show that would just air this whole thing full out these real conversations that two humans have do i want to stay do i want to go do i like this person do i not there's so much real and rawness in that and and for us to be able to like witness it

for for 45 minutes to an hour and a half on primetime television i think is incredible and so that's what I learned from the show that everybody feels that way and that's why it's so successful it shows so many different types of love too like I feel like it shows that like instant attraction love it shows the love of competitive love when like are you just in a social situation that like you want to win or you um jealous love where like you want to make other people jealous or just the projection love or the love of like you just want to feel wanted like everyone has felt all those loves before and the bachelor you You'll see a conversation and you'll be like, she doesn't really like him, but he reminds you of her ex or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or this is, it's so true, Hannah. Like, you just, everybody sees herself in someone on the show or, or, you know, it takes you back to a moment where maybe you had felt the same way. And everyone feels more connected, actually, and like more human. I mean, I've cried on reality TV and I was the first person to be like, I would never cry on a reality TV show. I've, I, I, and I think you were right at the end when people are crying. they take that veil off of them like trying to be this like strong what they everyone has an image of how they want to be perceived on TV but ultimately like or in life I would say on TV it's like it's on steroids but in life everyone has a mask on everyone does but inevitably like I feel like the truth

always comes out on reality TV so seeing like that girl who is playing it so tough or that girl who you know put everything out there and then just to see the exhaustion of like I can't keep up this sod of trying hard anymore and seeing the most beautiful aesthetic people but just being like I'm gonna be alone forever and you're like maybe you know take a college class I don't know but anyway I'm just kidding maybe your occupation is uh shouldn't be a dog potter yeah dog petter that's a good that's a good but I find you so confident so beautiful so smart oh thank you you're welcome but let's break you down now that they built you up what are your insecurities about yourself like physically emotionally that's so funny you say that because um i've recently had like a breakdown where it makes me

sad that i don't see myself in the way other people see me and when i when i meet someone and i get excited about them as much work as i've done you know as much yale courses that have taken i went to esselin you know like i did a writing workshop i have a therapist um all that PTSD comes back to me and I have a very flawed broken view of my or I did I'm pushing through it that like nobody's going to be with me because nobody's picked me before you know like I've liked all these guys before it's never worked out with me before so when I meet someone and things are going great I so often I'm like it's not going to work out like why would he like me he could get any girl why would he pick me and that's just operant conditioning like it's so

logical to be like I've done this before and this is always the result so why would the result be different so it's it really sucks because it's like you know i am pretty cool you know why wouldn't somebody want to hang out with me but i think it's just it's society you know it's everything it's society it's instagram it's past past burns i've just been burned so much that like it's been really hard for me thankfully i've like really worked through this and now i maybe you need a new york guy i know right everyone says i mean i'm from south florida so i'm like any you're on east coast girl i know i'm an east coast girl deep down like the fucking bagels and pizza here just got me like not living my best life you know but um i don't know hannah

i think that would that would be my biggest insecurity is i'm constantly doubting myself and it sucks because it's like if i would just get rid of a little bit of that i'd probably be like 10 times better you know but i but i am it is unfolding and it's and it's exciting and i think a part of that is 20 20 you know and all this all this silver lining time of us having time to finally look inward and work on these things yeah i actually I had a terrible breakup like when I was 26. I'm 28 now. I had the physical stuff. Like I couldn't eat. My heart was pounding all the time. And the doctor is like acting like I'm a crazy person when I'm just like in a situation that I'm reacting. And then I basically cut off men. Like I was like I'm just focusing on myself. I don't, it's like I just got a car accident. I don't want to go

into a car again. Right. And then during quarantine, I kind of was talking to my mom and I was like hoping that by 29 actually I'm 29 I forgot I just turned 29 but I you still you still get to say in my 20s in my 20s but I was like she was asking me like why I'm still single and I was like mom I don't every relationship I've had I don't like have a guy that like I like it away like I'm so perturbed when people ask that question I'm so hypersensitive to like asking to like relationship privilege yeah and it's like I've yes mom you've been you met my dad and got engaged in four months when you were 24 right that's you and but it also gives me that love story that like when i meet the right person it is going to flow but i have to in my

soul be like open to accept it right i i still have the PTSD of like also start talking to guy who i like and i started thinking like oh no what if he's actually a narcissist oh no am i feeling bad like last time and but those things it's normal to have PTSD and it's like being aware of it as like this isn't me I'm not an unwanted bitch right I've had past situations but I feel like the right guy will help you get through it everything you're saying is like it's it's like it's feelings aren't facts so you get a feeling or you get PTSD it's like okay acknowledge it but then you can talk back to it you can be like okay but that's not the case right now and I think very often and for a long time in my 20s because I turned 30 in March I

had to remember that I am not the story. I'm the storyteller. And we have these narratives in our head where it's like, I'm never going to find someone. I'm never going to get a boyfriend. It's never worked out for me. It's like, okay, that's a story. And I'm not the story. I'm not. So once you realize that, you can really like come out of your shell and start realizing like, you have some goddamn control. Like there were so many times where I was like, I'm incredible. I'm amazing. Like, a guy should pursue me. I'm so sick of these apps. Like, why doesn't anyone walk up to me anymore? And so just like you were saying, like I felt like I thought I was open, but I actually wasn't really open, Hannah. Because when I realized who I actually am, someone that goes after

anything I want, especially career-wise, why was I not doing that in my love life? So I flipped the switch and I was like, I'm just going to ask guys out. I spent years just being like, oh, if they like me, they'll text me or whatever. And it's like, no, like let me just message them, ask them to hang. And if they don't want to hang, then next. I don't need to waste energy on this person anymore. Because, yeah, you making that rule was you actually being emotionally unavailable and protecting yourself. Exactly.

And I think I was just watering my career plant for so long. You know? And I wasn't watering my love plant. I thought I was open. But in reality, deep down, subconsciously, probably not. And sometimes you will be attracted to like a guy you can tell isn't like wanting something that serious. sometimes you'll like it because you're like, oh, I don't have pressure to show him my full emotions

because God forbid he sees me for me. And I was very guilty of like, as a competitive person, medium guy and being like, how am I going to trap his ass? Like, yeah, I love pit bulls now. And like, yeah, I love baseball. Isn't it the best you go through their Instagram and then you pick up on something and you're like, all right, let me read up on this. Like he likes this chef.

And then you're like, on the date, you're like, so have you seen like the third episode of Chef's Table? Like I was just like wonder. And then they're like, all impressed and you're and you're like a woman and you're just like what an idiot and like I obviously I obviously busted that out yeah that was a very specific example but I I love cats and I recently been posting about getting this pit bull adopted that the guy I'm seeing has and my friend is like whose dick are you sucking right now because you're posting about pipples are you okay that's

hilarious I started having these stand-up jokes where I'd be like yeah first date he thinks he might like me but now I drop like you know I love horoscopes I love astrology I love cats like right and I put it all out there um and that actually is you being vulnerable yeah yeah going to your bare bones and not trying to be so tough because with your career toughness is good right and competitiveness is good right and not showing emotion is good yeah it's the opposite but you should always just be okay to be vulnerable we just had Nick Viall on the on the podcast actually comes out um i don't know when this i don't get it podcast guys so fucking good check my episode we had hannah on that episode was so fun so please listen to that but um yeah so on the we had him on the i don't

get it podcast and he brought up such a great point and was talking about like how do like he feels like some women are just so agreeable you know they go on a date and like maybe you don't eat fish right or you don't eat meat and the guy orders it and you're just like all right i'm just going to swallow it it's the first date and i i think we as women we're just socialized and taught to be easy to work with and it's such BS it's like go in and be yourself talk about cats talk about astrology be like I don't really want to go to this restaurant have an opinion like it's all me and I don't really eat me you know like be yourself don't be so agreeable and I think the more that we can be ourselves and really be confident and come into our own the closer we are to finding a person

that's willing to accept us for who we actually are yeah because you just being obsessed with someone and folding over like a cheap beach chair for them is actually not love you know No. Yo, sick Hamptons. Oh, by the way, million dollar beach house on Netflix. Check that out next week. Oh, I can't wait. So good. I've never been in the Hamptons. I know this is like a side note, but I loved seeing all the homes from the Hamptons. That's a good drama too. I'm very excited about that. Yeah. Anything with the Hamptons is very calming to me and also gives me PTSD at the same time. It's weird. Oh, yeah, when you see a healthy relationship a lot of the time, one person is not like slobbering over the other. Like a lot of the time, I'm like, that seems annoyed with the guy but not that she's annoyed she just has set boundaries for herself like even my brother who's engaged now he loves her because he's like she knows what she wants he feels so safe with her he he doesn't feel like he can push her around or she pushes him around it's like very balanced right and that's why i always love negging when i'm flirting wait what's nagging oh my god enlighten me you're such a cool like millennial it's an art form negging is it

basically kind of busting a guy's chops kind of being like kind of mean to him make fun of him in the beginning well that's i think that's how you and i flirt and that's how i but you do it in a kind voice like you could be like oh like did you lose a bet why'd you wear that shirt and just making laugh like just being like a little a little mean and it's called negging like you know when you're little on a playground like a guy hits you and they're like yeah yeah so i negging kind of shows that like I'm not here to just flatter you and you're not perfect and like I'm going to call you out in your shit and yeah I think it's healthy wait I love that I need to do that I think my issue in the past is then like I'm so assertive you know so I'm like I'm not negging I'm like me I'm like well that shirt's

hideous yeah yeah find some humor in it yeah yeah but I think it's funny too Hannah I don't know if you've ever felt this I think you and I are equally guys girls as much as we are girls girls but I've found I was I was thinking you know back on and this could be my perfectionism maybe there's nothing wrong and maybe maybe this is just a weird feeling I have but I was looking back at like my past sort of situationships and I was like or guys that I like I'm interested in and nothing sort of flourishes I'm like did I like friends own myself like like did I like am I like flirting correctly like because I'm such a guy's girl I feel like I can easily be like a friend you know do you ever feel like that you can I'm also

just flirty with everyone. Okay. Like I just like start with flirt. Well, that's interesting. I mean, it's an interesting skill to have to be able to flirt well. Like, what does that even mean to be able to flirt well? Does that mean to make jokes? Like, what does that mean?

So great question. I think your job is like, you can't be too flirty, especially like as a producer or a host. Like your job is kind of to be like that professional bitch getting shit done. So you're really good at bouncing that energy off being like, nope, nope, nope. I know I'm pretty. I know I'm charming but like I'm not that person but your energy it's so true it's flirting is really just like getting a reaction out of someone it's like when I go in an interview I don't want to give off any weird vibes you want to make them comfortable yeah so maybe yeah maybe I've been

as a producer too you can't be talking to these hot dudes being like you you're really good at turning it off I used to do that with with business meetings I didn't want I want everyone to be just like treat me like not a man not a woman just a smart person in the room but flirting is really about like using your wit or your humor or your just intelligence of some capacity to connect with them on some level and also get a reaction out of them whether it's making them a little uncomfortable making them laugh a little nagging yeah nagging and it's a lot of it is like the subtle things it's not even what you say it's how you make someone feel it's it's the it's the smile it's the touch and i know body language yeah it's touching it's so funny

my friend's like my friend was like looking at my messages with with a guy that I was into and she's like why don't you use any emojis and I was like ew I'm not using emojis I'm not that girl she's like girl you got to be batten those eyelashes through these emoticons and it's so funny like guys love that shit like the one that's like I'm like I'm literally like I was like I was like why the fuck would I be sticking out my tongue after saying like I don't know like I think you also have to be yourself though like I don't do emojis But I'll do like funny gifts. I like to keep it short.

I like to be a little mysterious. I don't like to text a lot. Exactly. Like, let's just hang out on the date in person. I think texting sort of die. It sort of kills a lot of the, it can kill the magic if you're sort of texting them all the time. And you can never keep it up.

Right. Because you're like, oh, what do I say next? It's just like keep it short, keep it light, talk on the date. I remember we had this woman on the I don't get it podcast one time. Fascinating episode. I'll never forget it. But she, she, um, she met a guy that she was into and she told him I don't want to text ever so they never text

they only met in person and I was like that's a really bold move to like say like don't text me unless it's like we're meeting up you know I love calling like I love a call and I love a face time yeah face time's good I'll say to them like I don't I don't love texting so when they do it's like because they really want to not to just like make me feel good right yeah I think you have to take off your professional hat a little and like yeah it's but also i feel like the right guy is going to bring it out of you i know i know it's like it's like there's no formula it's like it's not going to work out with people that just aren't your person you know as much as you as much as you want it to work out as much as you want it as much as you envisioned him at the end of the aisle you know

like as much as you envision you're matching Halloween costumes like sometimes it's just not going to happen because they're not your person and i do think that you know i do think that that quarantine has got us, like, more lonely to be like, wait, all those little PTSDs and fears I had before, like, I just want to be on a date again, you know? So I feel like this has broken down a lot of people's walls during quarantine, I think. I think, do you think men are more inclined to settle down this year than before? Yeah. I think because you miss, like, that inherent, like, just camaraderie of someone. Like, inevitably, you just, you want a best friend. You want someone that you can have a conversation with for the rest of your life like that's what i think it is

like i think it's actually really really simple what we're looking for yeah i think everyone just has an inherent need to belong or feel like they belong and that's why heartbroken an honor is such a thing what do you have a type it's so funny i used to and and now i'm just like i think one of the most important things for me aside from like ambition and someone who's willing to work on themselves um you know internally and like done all the you know somewhat of the work i've done done is someone that makes me laugh yeah I think like I think you know I got caught up in my 20s on like he's got to look like this and I you know I think we envision like what our wedding pictures will look like like I'm a loser like that and now I'm just like if he makes me laugh

it doesn't fucking matter yeah it doesn't matter because I just want to laugh till the day I die and I can't be around and I'm sure you're like this like I cannot be the person in the relationship creating all the funny moments like that is that's like boring no I get sick of myself very quickly yeah same same so i think my type is is a genuinely good person a good human that cares about the planet that can get along with a lot of different groups of people because i have a very eclectic group of friends like that they aren't all friends but i need a guy that's like going to be able to get along with all of them and someone that's funny and that makes me laugh and just supports me like someone that enhances my life not makes my life better but enhances it yeah when people are

like i'm in a career like i don't have time it's like no the right person is going to build your ass up. And I also think that perfectionism affects dating too because you can be trying to say all the right things all the time and do it all the right way when that's not uniquely you. No. And I'm so happy you brought this up because yes, it's like I've had, I really had to learn with my therapist to strive for a 93, not in a hundred. He's like, you're still going to be an and it really helped in my head. So if you struggle with perfectionism, tell yourself that. You're still being a student. And he was like, and what we do, Han, as hosts like perfectionism will actually kill your career it's like if I was a robot if I got

everything right if I used really big words I remember I would compare myself to other hosts and I'd be like oh they use such big words they know so much more than me and I and then I was like but then they're alienating their audience like I kind of like that I can talk to whoever somebody who's never even seen a movie before and maybe they'll be interested after watching my interview I like I like the accessibility and and being relatable I like a lot of people on understanding my interviews. So, so yeah, I think you're absolutely right. Like perfectionism can kill the very thing that makes you you and the very thing that makes you relatable. Yeah. And chemistry is not someone being like, oh, well, she said all the right things and did all the

right things. But I'm not feeling that X factor. That X factor is your imperfection that you have to show. Whoa. So that on a pillow, sell the merch. It'll be on Hannah's website on a beanie. It's funny. I've been like listening to you this whole time and I was like, okay, I finally know what I want to say. Say it again. Say it again. For the people in the back. For the people in the back, it's like the, if you're saying all the right things, all the right times, that's just generic hallmark shit. Your imperfection is the X factor in the chemistry they need. And back to like perfectionism, I interviewed Luann de la Ceps. Oh my God. Money can buy your class. And I was so nervous. And I immediately like didn't know how to pronounce her.

last name and I just was like Luann de lesseps and she was like honey it's de la seps and I was like fuck and I like I laughed it off we had a good time and I had a sick feeling in my stomach like she thinks I'm a fucking idiot she thinks that I disrespected her that I didn't care ruminating fake stuff she didn't even think about it after I'd done it before like Teresa judice I said judice like on the like like I fucked it up all the time but I realized like after it I wasn't mad that I said her name wrong. I was proud that I got over it in like four or five minutes to have a good rest of the interview.

Good because that's so important, Hannah. So like I was actually proud. Yes, because that is massive progression and improvement. There have been times where I have and the whole, the whole interview is shit because I wasn't into it. I didn't even, I didn't even know what I was saying. I was just thinking about the mistake I made. And it's when you can take hold of it and control it.

That's when you're like really having a breakthrough. and that's like so admirable and I'm so happy that you had that moment and thank you i am now also getting better at that stuff which is great and and it's also like again the most relatable like loyenne how do you say your last name like so many people say delisips deliseps like come on but tell us what it is and then it's like immediately half the people listening are like yes thank you i've been thinking about this forever i had no idea you know and and also when you're in your own head about like that little thing do you know how many girls or guys or women are watching you being like damn nas is killing it and in your head you're like i'm a freaking stupid loser i know is

that's what makes me sad it makes me sad that all of us don't see ourselves how great everyone in our life sees us but it's also like we're all not these like incredible perfect people and it's more just like having empathy for yourself more because yeah it's a lot of like a joke like even i'd go to sleep at night sometimes when i was in a bad place and i was just like hold hold my own hand to just be like you're you're in it with yourself because that's all you can you have to start so that's so beautiful I love that yeah it's like taking a time to look in the mirror and be like it's okay like I'm getting through it I'm doing the best I can we're all just doing the best we can with what we got you know yeah when you have bad anxiety what are some

things you do to cope that's great um so meditation and I know that sounds so cliche but so um Disconnecting myself from my phone and meditation has worked wonders for me. I have a friend named Tommy Sobel who started this movement called Brick. It's called Go Bricknow.com. And basically it's a grassroots movement. The concept of the idea that people that are our age, Hannah, are sick of the relationship we have at social media and our phone. And so one of the things in Tommy's Brick method is an hour before I go to bed, I put my phone away. and the first hour that I wake up my phone is charged in another room my Google home wakes me up on my alarm

and my iPad has no connection to my phone or anything it just has meditations on it and for the first hour of my day I meditate I listen to music and I make coffee and I don't look at my phone I don't want I don't read news and it got it gets rid of all that anticipatory anxiety in my life like when you wake up and you open your phone and there's 15 text messages there I had my friend Mark Weinstein on the podcast, he gave a great example and he was like, that's like waking up and having 15 of your friends at your bedside. That's like a lot of fucking energy to take in. Sounds like a reality. You know what I mean? That's like, oh, like exactly. It is reality. It's a hundred percent reality, which is why it's, it's a lot of pressure. Um, it's a lot of

energy. So what I do is I stop my mind from wandering. I meditate. I find that when you meditate in the morning, it really sets the mood for the day. And I don't look at my phone. And I, Do you the full hour thing in the morning? Yeah, so I don't look at my phone for an hour. The first hour of my day, there's no phone. Wow. Yeah, and it's like, it just really helps ease anxiety. If you have anxiety in the moment with something, I haven't really cracked that.

I know that there's, like, things I can do, but I'm not going to lie and say I'm, like, good at it. I'm not. Like, my heart starts racing. I just kind of just sort of sit down. And I just, like, take deep breaths. And I'm like, okay, it's okay. This is just like a moment. I'm just having anxiety right now.

And I try to be really present. I try to close my eyes. I try to smell something or listen to a sound outside. And it sort of brings you back into the moment. But why I love meditation is because our mind wanders. We're constantly thinking about the past or the future. And we're biologically built that way. It's neurology.

So there's this default network in your brain. So when you're doing something, Hannah, like cleaning out your closet, you can be cleaning out your closet. But the moment you stop thinking about cleaning out your closet, it's not even a millisecond. This default network system goes to either the past or the future. future. What am I going to have for dinner later? What did I say last week to that girl? What did I say on that podcast? And it's like so, it's kind of really cool that our brain does that. It's like a

cognitive achievement that animals don't have. But it gets us in a lot of trouble because it makes us unnecessarily worry about a lot of things. This is why I want to be a cat. Yeah. I just want to be a sleepy cat. I do believe emotional support animals. There's a lot of power in that. A hundred percent. And I think being around an animal who doesn't have that default like brain movement is actually healthy because you're like we're here we have nothing to worry about right now we just care if you know you're getting your pet down i want to finish with a final game called the seven deadly sins seven deadly sins i love when you played this on our podcast oh yeah how we met was i actually my friend cheech hooked me up with i don't get it podcast when the first times i went to

you guys were you're with Ashley I and her sister Lauren yeah and they actually connected with Lauren on emotional level yeah um and her hair was sick they would but they have such different personalities and you I felt like you were the glue ha ha ha and I got there and you guys had like cheese platter out we had drinks it was a cutest little apartment I'll never forget that time but let's play it again a little more intense yeah I can't wait so what are you greedy about I'm greedy about my time I don't like to waste it I have such a busy schedule

so I'm very greedy and choosy with who I decide to be around and who I decide to dedicate my day to because whoever I'm with I'm so present like while I've been with you on this podcast I have like 11 notifications on my phone and I'm like I don't care

like this is my hour with Hannah right now you know so it's like do you know but I'm sure you're the same way so I think I'm really greedy with my time and if I don't if I know that I'm going to hang out with you and you're just like I don't know your energy's off or like or we're not going to catch up or something you know what I mean I don't know no 100% I don't know if I'm explaining myself as your life gets crazier and people some people just want your time for like the wrong reasons not to have a badger moment but I don't think their heart is

in the right place and it's it's like it's exhausting sometimes to give energy to something that you're not receiving the right energy back right um who are you envious of i'm envious of people that don't look for external validation like through things um i'm envious of lucky people just people who had the resources to i think i'm realizing this year that like our society we'd be dumb to not think a lot of it's luck right like what you were born into the color of your skin like what you know what i mean i just think like I'm envious of people that had all the resources and like the world just sort of works for them because of who they are and they're able to have like a massive like a million homes not to say that people don't work hard for stuff do you know what I mean no but it's called

privilege and I think that yeah I'm envious to me yeah exactly this movement has made people aware of the things that they took for granted even if it's just like oh that first internship that your dad got you because he went to Yale and he went to Yale because his dad went to Yale because he was rich or whatever like that's just how I love how Yale is so prevalent in this conversation sponsored by Yale no but yeah yeah this is a perfect example because I want to talk to you about tennis so I grew up like in Boca Raton and like we had I sort of grew up always thinking we were going to run out of money like and my dad really got hit by the recession and so I finally have like come into my own I've like make some money now and I was like I want to

learn tennis I never got to learn tennis and so when I show up to my lesson there's like this little girl who leaves the lesson right before me she's always right before me and I and I'm envious of her I'm envious that like she got to learn tennis like at such a young age you know and like I'm you know what I mean like those are like the weird little things I'm envious of and I'm like I wonder she knows how lucky she is you know that she her parents had the money to like put her in tennis she doesn't you know I do think that yet this whole movement makes you think of like why were the William sisters the only black girls on the tour for so long and it starts at a young age um and also even like even if you're black and you do you

have the money it's not necessarily you might not be comfortable in that like country club type of like white lens yeah because people aren't as people aren't accepting you know it's crazy but i am so proud of you for being like fuck all the like little things like i earned to learn tennis and it doesn't matter what age it is and i think tennis tennis is such a great sport that like you can always improve yeah and it's in the beginning you actually see so much your improvement and like even the pros are always updating their strokes you know fixing their footwork it's just like it's just like they say your relationship with the balls your relationship with life like are you being aggressive are you being scared are you being fearful are you is your

mind calm it is a very mental sport but I think that you would love it and yeah it's hard Hannah because it's taking me like 20 lessons to get my forehand down and like now I'm on backhand and I'm back at square one and I'm like this is so hard and you know it's all about brush my instructor's like brush push it forward forward I'm like what do you mean oh ma'am it is forward it's going to be frustrating but it's funny because when it clicks it clicks but then like I'm still working on my forehand yeah and I just want to play with like friends but it's not fun to play with friends when you're not good you know it's not fun for me it's going to be really really fun for you because you'll put together little doubles games and then like gossip

afterwards like you're on the real house size of New York I can't wait ladies who lunch I'm so into this yes um what are you gluttonous about so what do you like overindulgent chocolate was that not supposed to be taken literally though oh no that's good what kind of chocolate oh my god any and all kinds i'm really into this bar called chaco love and tony's chocolate tony's is so good i'm sure you know it's like the really fun colorful wrappers um that look like willie wonka do you know what i'm talking about i do many different flavors it's so good i was like hooked on these little like chocolate crisps because they make it look like it's like a snack. It's almost like chocolate potato chips. Yes. Oh my God. Those are so good. Sorry, it's called Tony's Chocoloni,

which is so funny. But I do have to give a shout out to the number one dessert in the entire world right above Smoors, which is the McDonald's McFlurry. I think it's like the greatest invention. I think it's the greatest thing we gave to the America gave to the world. I'm an Eminem's person. Yeah, yeah. That was an important detail. Yeah, yeah. When was the last time? you experienced extreme wrath so anger stream wrath that's a good one um my family with my family recently this year i think this i don't know there's just so much um divisiveness going around and it's really hard it's been really hard for me to like connect with my family this year on like a

lot of things you know like they live in florida we're in a pandemic and it's like i think when we grow a lot of my anger recently as a 30 year old has been realizing that I'm in the same playing field as my parents like we grow up and we think our parents are heroes and then we're like oh shit like I pay taxes just like my parents do like we're in the same playing field like this is bizarre and I'm like why do you guys think like this like take care of yourself like what do you do you know so a lot of my anger I found like this year has been like with my family and my parents actually and then it's like do you fight to like change people's minds but it hurts like your relationship or is it do you suck it up and just have like internal anger love is accepting that's

what i'll say especially when it comes to family because you only get one mom and dad and we can't pick them and i've learned to sort of choose my battles now and i have to accept them for who they are even though they're not who i thought they were yeah coming to terms with like detaching from anger and understanding like maybe if i was raised the way they were raised in their situation that like i would feel that way too and it's not like it's not as black and white of like someone's wrong and right Exactly. And that all leads to empathy. And that's what I learn in all the heartbroken anonymous meetings is like I got to learn to really see people. You know. You guys. If you have, if you love burning in hell, you probably have a dark sense of humor. You've probably gone through some stuff. You have to check. You have to check out heartbreaker anonymous. Heartbroken anonymous. Fuck. Don't be so hard on yourself. It's fine. I'm so hard of myself. It's like I'm editing this. So I'm going to fix all of it. Don't worry. No, no. Leave it in. I say leave it in. People will laugh at this. Who fucking cares.

I'm broken anonymous. Okay. When was the last time you were a sloth? Oh, God. That's a hard question for me. You're like, when did you let yourself have like a mental health, lazy day, watch like Love Island for 15 episodes? You know what, Hannah?

I really struggle with this. I don't know if I have an answer for you. And I think it's hard because I cover a lot of content, like movies and shows. So when I do have a free moment, I'm like, do I watch Golden Girls, which is my guilty pleasure? Because I've watched sex in the city a million times already. Or do I watch something new that I should probably? probably like know about for work, you know. So this one's really hard for me. I actually can't

remember the last time I was a sloth. But I have been getting out of L.A. every weekend, like doing day trips during quarantine, like to Los Alamos and some vineyards. So I am giving myself the leeway to relax and not work on the weekends. Do you get energy from people or being alone? Both. But mainly from being alone, I think. I think it's changing. Yeah. Because I'm like you and I love to get a lot of shit done but I also like after doing like a comedy show or or a bunch of podcasts like I need to be alone in a dark room yeah with just like TV yeah and my cat I love it when was the last time you let your pride get in the way of something like your ego I think um I think another amazing lesson that heartbroken anonymous has taught me and sometimes I feel like a hypocrite

because we don't give advice at heartbroken anonymous it's really just like I've said a million times it's for people to see each other and hear each other and so my parents are very solution oriented so i was raised to be that way and i think sometimes i let my ego sometimes friends are just venting to me and i'm like well do this you know like well let's fix it let's change it if you're not happy with what you're doing like come on a run but they just want to be heard sometimes they just want to be heard and it's like i should know that more than anybody you know but then again i'm not perfect so um so yeah i think i sometimes in in conversations and moments like that out, I'll let my ego get ahead of me and think that, you know, my voice should be heard when

really, like, I shouldn't. I should just listen. It is true. I've, like, started talking to this guy and he, like, loves how competitive I am. And I, like, downplayed around guys sometimes, like, especially with, like, little stupid things, like sports. But I was, like, getting worked up about something stupid. And he was like, oh, I love that, like, you get so worked up. Like, you care so much about this. Most guys would be, like, would be like, okay, like, I want. you're too loud or you're too whatever so like even the side of you that's so logical like I feel like some guy is going to fucking love that okay as long as it's not like hurting you know your friend's feelings when you're like get together but that is like a cool side of you yeah

I think I think what I'm learning as of today even actually is that maybe like when someone says something to me and I think this is a good rule with them for everyone actually say like cool like do you do you want advice or do you just want me to listen and I think that would that would really solve a lot of things because sometimes I don't know it's like who are we I'm not trying to play God I don't I don't have the answers I'm weary of people that have all the answers you know oh yeah I got into with my mom once because she was like you realize like everything's fine and I'm like that is not what I want to hear because my head is not fine right now right also the word fine is moi triggering for a perfectionist like I can't tell you how many times I had this producer

he messes with me all the time but I'd be like all right how the show go like it was live and be like it was fine and I'm like ah I'm like are you mean it wasn't the most amazing resplendent sublime thing I've ever done like why you know I know I'm like I need to be up there I cannot hear the word fine I hate the word fine and I hate the word cute like I don't want to be cute like beautiful gorgeous I don't know like awe inspiring anything but cute I like kind of became decent good friends with Derek Peth because he moved to New York yeah and he was like doing some stuff with batches and then we'd like we did some fun videos together and he literally i was like somehow you were brought up and he was like naz is the most gorgeous amazing woman ever and i was

like why don't you date her and he was like i forget what he said but he was just like enthralled by you oh my god really he's obsessed with you wait that's so funny because it's like you're so his type wait that's so weird because i'm happy i'm really happy you shared that with me because i think whoever's listening it's again I shared all my insecurities right and here's this guy that I like worked with like for a couple months you know Derek's great but I was never even close to him I wasn't even Derek's producer but the fact that he saw me in that light and I had no idea is like so refreshing and the second I said your name he just goes oh my god she's so gorgeous oh my god really that's so nice and that's when I met you I was like oh my god she's probably used to all

the guys in the bachelor just being like oh my god the hottest producer never never I've never heard that for no none of them have ever told me that and I love them dearly like brothers you know yeah well you were being a professional yeah um and these men just can't keep it in their pants but the last question has to do with that my question is when was last time you lusted over someone but i want to know like of all the guys on bachelor nation who would you be most interested in i don't even i've never answered this so this is like this is kind of scary to put out there I don't know And I just got interested

Okay so for the bachelor question I've only I'm very like like you said Like friend zone so easily I'm so professional Like I would never ever My mom was always like Nassati you need to be with the guy

On the bachelor like what are you doing You're single there's all these men And I was like mom I am not attracted to a man That can take two months off of work Like no And so genuinely genuinely I've never been into anyone On the show ever

there have been two people which are like so not my stereotypical type but i remember talking to them just thinking like oh wow like another life another time like i would love to like sit down with this this is like it's going to be the most random ever one was this guy clint on katelyn's season i've never said that out loud i've never shared that ever who ended up having he ended up having like a weird trajectory but i remember being like oh he looked like heath ledger to me i don't know why and then chase on jojo season which is so random and weird i think chase is so hot and like he's just so manly he's just like dude yeah but i'm not even attracted to that but i'm going to share something again i've never shared but chase is really close with his mom and i remember like

him sharing with me like this i think i can't i may be misquoting but he shared with me this journal that his mom sent him and she was like sending himself that was happening to her every day and i i saw such a different like human side to this guy that you know it's just like the stereotypical like hercules from colorado you know and and i was like he's really sweet actually and and so um yeah but again like fleeting moments like one ear out the other and then you know it's back to work but yeah i've never answered that before so you got some well you guys got the tea and yeah i don't know um the first guy you said but um yeah chase so fucking hot he's not even he's not even my my type usually is not someone I would go for but that's so funny but to wrap this up this has been

such a great interview um what advice would you leave people with on just kind of how to cope with your hell when you're going through it yeah um it's going to be okay because it has to be okay i don't know that's not even advice but just like remember that like it's all going to work out we're we're more resilient than we think we are yes like if you think of your worst case scenario like my worst would probably be losing my father I've I've talked to people that have lost their dad already this year and heartbroken and it sucks and it hurts and it's the worst but they're okay you know like they wake up every day so when I think about like the fact that the sky is not going to fall on me I just remember it's

it's going to be okay just remember it's going to be okay it has to be okay we are resilient and we will figure it out and just have faith in that and don't live every day in fear because like you're so much stronger than you think and like not that grief just goes away because it won't but it's like you it's like a jewish proverb that i love which is like i like want to marry a jew so bad i'm like just trying to drop that so someone can send me a single jewish guy i'm like brooketad i that was good i grew up in boca so yeah oh yeah queen's boca i'm actually i live in queens now oh amazing but anyway it's don't ask for fewer burdens ask for broader shoulders i love that that's so it's so true hannah if everyone in the world through all their problems in a pile

you would a thousand percent take your own back and i can tell you that i can tell you that is someone that listens to people every week every other week and i hear them i used to think that my problems were so much worse than other people's yeah but that was like my anxiety i would be like i would switch places with anyone to not deal with my own head right i like to see everything as like all my issues in life are happening to teach me a lesson or they're gonna and if i don't learn they'll keep happening but i'm also in the business of not comparing despair you know it's not like oh just because this is like no everyone's heartbreak is equally as valid and and you are just because also don't shy it away by saying like people have it so much better it's like okay it's okay like you can be sad this is

this is devastating to you i think just remember the best advice is to feel gratitude And I know you can hear that and just like roll your eyes. But like, I think when we're little, we're taught to say please and thank you. But we're not taught to feel thank you. So like, so gratitude isn't, I'm so lucky. I have a house. I have a car. I don't have to worry about food.

That's not gratitude. Gratitude is sitting with your eyes closed and thinking about the fact that you don't have to hunt your food. Like thinking about the fact that like it's hot as balls out and you have a home with air conditioning. you know what I mean it's thinking about the fact that like if you were in danger you could get in your car and drive away and some people don't like that's really feeling gratitude so if there's anything I can leave you with it's to actually try and feel it instead of just like saying it Naz you are such an amazing guest in hell where can people follow you where can people be a part of everything you're doing oh thanks yeah I'm on Instagram at Naz Perez N-A-Z P-E-R-E-Z so shoot me a DM if you listen to this if you have any questions

Also, heartbrokenanonymous.com. If you want information or if you want to sign up for a meeting, it's donation-based participation, minimum a dollar donations. You can come to a meeting for a dollar. The dates are there. I do it every other Thursday. Signups go up this Sunday before the meetings. And then at Heartbroken underscore Anonymous on Instagram.

I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Thank you so much. And I'll talk to you guys later in hell. Bye. Bye. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I don't know

I don't know.