Berner Phone - Nema Vand: Breaking Hearts & Breaking Veneers

Episode Date: September 16, 2020

Shah's Of Sunset star, Nema Vand, crashed Giggly Squad and met Hannah. On this episode in hell, he explains why his teeth are so white, how Hannah broke his veneers, his new nose job, being a white-washed persian, why Paige loves Persian guys, if he wants to have a family, his new career change, his past lives, why he got divorced, and how he lost 55 pounds.--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Burning Hell. Okay, what's up, guys? Welcome to Hell. We're on Persian Hell today because we have Nima Vand. He's met me over Instagram, but now for the first time we're talking face-to-face. Nima, welcome to hell. How are you feeling? How are you doing? I'm good. I was going to say Persian. I'm in Persian hell every day. So this is a different, but I appreciate you wording it that way. And this is actually the first time that we are meeting face to face.

Because Hannah and I have done the like typical like Instagram. We followed each other. We have mutual friends. I like a photo. She'll like a photo. Although I like way more photos than Hannah likes of mine. Let's just establish that. The balance is totally off.

But this is the first time we're like actually getting to see what we should. Like this is like really like our. first hang here. This is so exciting because we were watching Shaws during quarantine. We were like airing at similar times, I guess. Yeah. And I was doing giggly squat every night. And I think I was bragging how like I was like at first I didn't have a crush on you. I don't know why. But then at some point and like I started getting crushes on everyone in quarantine. Sweet. Like I had a crush on Andy Cohen in quarantine. Oh. So this is like flea. Like you just built me up and like just shit all over me now. No. No. But I'm just like, I want you to think I'm creepy. And I'm just on on this podcast getting you on

because I've a crush on you, but at one point I was like, like Paige has a crush on Mike. No way. Um, she loves Persian dudes. Like, well, she's dating Perry. Yeah, yeah. She's dating Perry. She loves a Persian man. And I typically like guys with like blue eyes and like, looks like they came over on the Mayflower.

But yeah, I was like, I think I have a crush on Nima. And then you would like come on the live so the gigglers would get all excited. Wait, Hannah, are you in love with me? Is this what's being said right now? Is this like our first date? And that's a wrap on the podcast. and I are getting married. Thank you for coming. This is so exciting. Where are we registering? This is great. I love this. But no, it's funny because I had like a little crush on you just watching Shaz,

but then we actually hit it off. I feel like in a friend's way. Yeah. So barb. Can we just like, Hannah just glossed over that I like crashed the Giggly Squad. I do love. I didn't crash. I like took a train and like smashed through the wall. And I honestly like debated doing because I would watch your guys. Like every now and then I'd watch it if it was on. And I was like, do I jump in? Do I not jump in? I don't want to come. I don't know these people that wall.

And then one day, like, the edible hit the wrong way. And I was like, fuck it. We're going in. And so. And you guys were so warm and receptive. It was such a, like, welcoming environment for me. It was great. Well, I feel like you're a giggler.

You love making fun of everything. You love tweets. You love memes. I think because we're always talking to ourselves. And let's be honest, month two of quarantine, I was sick of my own voice. Right. So whenever we see someone jump on who, like, is from the Bravo community we're like it's a party after that that's crashing thing i was already following you i followed

page i gave her the standard seven days to follow me back she didn't follow me back so i unfollowed her again so like i have a little bone to pick with page because i feel like bravo fam so that's number one number two i'm by i'm gonna be by coastal la is still my home i mean i own a media company here so it's like my life is here obviously shaws is here keeping my place but i have an opportunity opportunity to direct in New York. And I was like, well, let me just go be bicostal. And I'm like, of all the people that I could like ask questions about, let me reach out to someone I don't even fucking know at all, Hannah, and just like bounce ideas off of you. And you were very receptive. You answered like all my questions. And you also explained to me the, I guess like the

fascination that women have with exposed brick in apartments because Hannah was like, I'm going to paraphrase. She was like, I will, I think you said this on maybe the go daddy podcast. Maybe it was to me directly, but there was something where you were like, I will literally go down on a guy if he has exposed brick. And I was like, what the fuck? Is this like a thing? So then flash forward, I mentioned this to like a girl randomly. Didn't say your name. But I was like, oh, my friend said that she'll literally like suck a guy's dick if he has exposed brick.

And she was like, oh, yeah, 100%. Like it was like, she was a hundred. I was like, this is like a cosmic girl loophole that we've all discovered here? It's so funny because with stand-up, you realize, like, what is funny in certain states and what's not in other states. And I had this whole bit about how I hooked up with this football player. And I walked into his apartment and, like, I saw the brick. And I've always liked exposed brick, but I never, like, put it two and two together. Like, if a guy has exposed brick, I will go down on him.

Yeah. And I did it at a show in L.A. And no one laughed. And I was like, what the fuck? And I realized, oh, exposed brick is such a Brooklyn, like, New York City thing. I also made a joke about, like, dating a, like, finance guy and, like, no one laughed in L.A. Oh, yeah. I'm like, oh, I should have made a joke about, like, dating a stunt double or something.

That would have got you laughed. It's funny because, like, exposed brick, I guess is like New York City, like, Upper West Side Brooklyn Charm. But if I were to walk into an apartment with Exposed Brick in L.A., they'd be like, oh, things are bad here. Like, times are really tough. Do you have a go fund me? Can I donate $100 to you? Because you're missing a fucking wall. Like New York Charm is like L.A.'s dumpster.

Poverty. Yeah. So speaking of L.A., I don't know a lot of guys who have their teeth done. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, it comes up. Maybe I do and I just don't, I can't tell. But I want to know the story of how you got your teeth done. Why?

Give me the details. Yeah. So when I was 14, I was in a sports accident and I hit one of my front teeth. And so basically it started to like weirdly discolor. and the dentist was like, we cannot whiten your teeth. It'll actually make it worse. So when I like got into like my adult life, I got like six veneers here. And they started to fade over time because the dentist talked me out of going as white as I want to go.

He's like, no, you got to trust me on this. And like five years later, they were like fading a little bit. So when I was like, you know what? I'm doing this. When like company's doing well, I made some money. I'm like, I'm redoing this. And then I had to talk him into going this white. He was like, are you sure?

I was like, listen, motherfucker. or just slam them in there. You know what I mean? We're going. And now it's been like the great, it's been like a conversation starter everywhere. And it was an entirely positive thing in my life until Hannah like single handedly last week bucked this entire thing up.

And I'm not even going to like, I want Hannah just to like go from here and tell her side of this. Oh, you think I should explain it? Yes. Well, I was trying to get you to give me a time that we could do this podcast. Right. You basically were like, oh, like I'm going to go boxing or something. Right.

I just, you know, ragging, trying to be like, oh, look at me to do my fun, little sporty, manly things. And I was... That's 100% actually completely accurate. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to take a nap. But you basically said... Oh, yeah, and I just responded going, make sure you don't knock out one of your pearly whites. Okay, no, no, no. This is this hand.

I'm going to rebutcher this entire fucking thing. Okay, I set you up. I thought you was a spike at home and you destroyed it. So here's what happened Hannah was texting me to schedule this podcast I was actually Even though I was trying to come off cool Because I was like oh Pan and I

We might make out at some point So like I should probably try to like talk myself up I was actually at a boxing ring So I sent her a picture of like the ring And I was like yo if I don't respond for you Like in an hour just so you know that's what I'm doing Oh yeah he's like if I respond an hour I'm just kidding some ass

I'm just beating people up And she was like Hannah says Okay have fun Protect those teeth at all cost Now, it was already like a very odd thing to say because like Han and I don't have that relationship. Like we don't have that emotionally supportive relationship yet. No.

Like we are in the like meme sharing stage of our relationship. Well, we send memes back and forth. We're not here for each other yet. Like I like to think we get to that point, but we haven't there. So for her to like send me this like considerate message about my veneers, I was like, oh, that's really nice. And then go into the workout, get hit the wrong way. And literally two of my veneers break right then and there. This has never happened in like the entire time that I've had veneers.

I actually text my dentist like a meth face photo. And he was like, are you fucking kidding me? I had to like cancel my whole day, go to the dentist, get like 12 shots in my mouth, reestablish veneers in my. And all I could, all I could muster while I was like Nova came to hell was I was like, I'm really out of it, but I have to send Hannah a picture. telling her go fuck herself because that's the only thing that will make this like marginally better and that's what happened.

I love that I could put a smile on your face during that pain. I'm a witch. Yes. And I did manifest it. And I thought it would be so funny if this guy was like, I'm going to beat some people up. Fucked up his expensive veneers. Did it cost you a couple thousand dollars? No, he did it for free because he felt bad.

The dentist felt really bad. Wow. He was like, dude, this is like because he is Persian. Yeah, yeah. Another guy for page to have a crime. It's all caught apart of my office. Yeah. We have a little Persian mafia in L.A. here. Yeah. Well, I think we did bond a lot from that. And I'm, I'm, I feel like people make fun of you for your teeth a lot. But in your eyes, you're like, your teeth can't ever be too white.

No, I don't care at all because here's a thing. One, my teeth aren't that while. Like, right now you're looking at me on Zoom. That you, it's, I mean, you tell me, they're looking very normal. Right. But when you add camera lights, it gets, it just gets like through the roof. And so for me, I'm like, look, there's a lot of things that people could make fun of me for. This is what they have on me. Like, I'm doing good in life. Like, I'm okay with it.

And I guess I just, like, don't take myself that seriously. I'm like, cool. I have white teeth. Like, what do you want from me? Like, it's a conversation starter. So I don't care. You're so right. There's so many worse things.

I also think on Twitter, it always hurts me more when people say something about my personality rather than my looks. Like, people would be like, her hair's greasy or like her her face is you know ugly or she looks like a toilet and I'm just like honestly don't don't care I don't care but if someone's like she's a little annoying I'm like my my greatest hits without a doubt on on Instagram are definitely I think half of the country thinks I'm gay with that I get that all the time which is like I'm like that's like a weirdly compliment to me you know what I mean but I get that all the time teeth for sure and then

this is a new one that's like really popping up that like really is very endearing to me is like last season on Shaw's this really emotional scene with my dad played out and I'll get messages from people who'll be like hey you know what you can see like just the preview of the DM it'll be like hey I saw that scene with your dad and I dot dot dot and I can't I'm like oh I touch someone and I open it it's like you fucking little pussy ass bitch it's like get the fuck over it man and I'm just like every time people take this shit so like it's their father I'm like just yeah leave you me alone, you know? So those are my greatest hits. They're projecting their shit on you. Was it, was it tough to like get your parents on camera and then have to like see America react to your family? It's like weirdly therapeutic to me. My parents are like very shy, you know, the Persian general shy. They're adorable. Yeah. My dad's a doctor. Like he has a PhD and like civil engineering. These are not people who go and flex on like TV and Instagram. But, you know, it was, I was very clear with them that I was choosing to share in my life.

life in this process and my parents are going to support me and that's all that really was. It is really, I would say, 99% of the messages I get are super, super supportive. And like, that's very endearing to me. And then the 1% I like that I laugh at it. So it's fine. Yeah. I do think that reality TV is surprisingly therapeutic. I always say that you're put in these situations that you would never really like elect

to be in, but you're forced to just kind of grow by dealing with all these unique social situations that are very tough. I think it's actually like weirdly like brought down my insecurities like things that I was insecure about before bravo I'm like less insecure about now honestly what were you insecure about before um well I would say probably like my my nose for one you know you know I just got a nose job can you tell no you can't tell can you no yeah it's like I like remove the little hump right here but like just a little hump yeah yeah I don't know I just like I feel like once you kind of like own your shit on TV and you're used to people like having such a crazy opinion. about it, you just kind of like operate from a place of confidence now. And I think that like wasn't as prevalent before Bravo. So I'm like super thankful for that at least. I mean, yeah, my everyone's biggest fear is to go on TV. I feel like and people hate you. And then you go on TV and some people hate you. And then you're like, I'm not scared of shit anymore. It's well, you can't even control that. Like once it's out there, it's out there, right? And so like, I think once you let go of that

a little bit and you get comfortable the idea of letting go, like people are going to have opinions of you regardless. Yeah. It's you, you weirdly operate now from a place of like, confidence we're like you have a little more swag in your step now because you're like oh yeah that's that's you know that's so again also i like i have a lot of respect for bravo and the fact that like picked you and they picked me to be part of it like that means a lot to me and so i don't know it just it's all just added a little more confidence i think than i had going in to the process so why did you get the nose job because i had a bump on my nose and i fucking hated it and i was super self-conscious of it and then i hated it i hated it and then what happened was bravo would

You know how they cut those like little segments for the like, you know, teasers and stuff? Every time I would have a side profile, I would go into FaceTune. I'm not kidding you. And I would like bring in the bridge of my nose. And I was like, I'm in my 30s. I can't live like this anymore. Like Face Tunes for your like 20s when you're trying to get like late every day. I like, I can't do this anymore.

And so I was like, are you not trying to get late every night anymore? No, I am. But it's like I can't put that much like have energy into it. You know, it's like I just could feel like a selfie. Yeah. You don't have the energy in your 20s of like trying. that hard. Exactly. So I was like, I just, this is too much. Can't live less anymore. Found a surgeon. And I was like, listen, I generally like the way I look. I don't like the hump of my rose. Can you, can you make me

pretty? It was like, I got you, dude. And it came out great. So I'm like very, very happy with it. Also, by the way, your sister is like so stunning. Oh, thanks. So gorgeous. I mean, you know, yeah, I get that a lot. Yeah. I have a good looking brother too. Do you? Yeah. But he's and he's like blue eyes, blonde hair and I would always mess with him like in college I would pretend we're dating when he's like flirting with another girl and then he'd get mad at me but I thought it was so funny you know the weirdest thing about this whole situation is that like that my relationship with Mona is like such a normal brother-sister relationship but like it was like skewed in a way that was like so shitty and like weird and so it like sexual it was it's the worst and like it's it's so

not that it never has been that and so like my parents just because she's so beautiful and you're so good-looking that people were just like, oh, good-looking people, they must like each other. No, no, good-ly people do not like their family members. Just Shaz of Sunset becomes Game of Thrones. No, no. None of that shit at all. So I was very glad that that stupid joke, like,

died off after one episode because it, like, it shouldn't have ever been in the first place, but whatever, it is what it is. Also, how do you feel about being kind of tokenized as the whitewashed version of the show? I don't think that that was like, done by design, I think that's just realistically who I am. Like I grew up, I went to an all guy's Catholic high school. Like how much more like Republican can one get than that, you know?

So when I went to college, I was like, wait a second. Everyone here doesn't like, isn't like a total yuppie. I mean, it was a total eye-opening experience from me. But I don't know. I'm just like, I very much didn't grow up around the culture. And so now as an adult, I'm, I'm connecting to it more. But I don't ever mind that stigma because I like, look at a guy like Mike. Like Mike grew up in Beverly Hills he went to Beverly High like I wouldn't have wanted that experience I'm like super glad that I went to an all guys Catholic high school like I was in a fraternity I was a president of my fraternity I was I went the total like Chad or Kyle route in life I did not go the you'd fit in in summer house I did not oh I would be fucking the mayor of summer house let me

tell right now I did not go the like you know like one of the like the amier or like that resa route I went like the straight like brodie right oh yeah you're So Brody, but do you feel like you weren't accepted as much into the perching community or like you had to prove yourself in some way? Yeah, I think before Shaw's definitely because I'm like conversational in Farsi. I'm definitely not fluent. And so when you're talking to someone in the community and like they speak Farsi because they hear Nima and they're like, this guy's got bushy eyebrows. His name is Nima. We're going to roll the dice on this one. And like, and they And your Farsi isn't like super, super in the cut, then you get a little bit of that judgment.

Like, who is this guy? You know, he's an imposter among us. And so Shaw's like really elevated that to where it's like the culture now accepts me. So. Oh, I love that for you. And now you have your gold chain. I have a singular gold chain. One, I refuse to get any more.

I just don't think gold is for me. Honestly, like I just can't. Does Perry wear a lot of gold chains? I'm just, he definitely has like a nice watch and stuff. You have to have them. I have two. I have two Rolexes. You have to do that.

Otherwise, they revoke your Persian card. Like, they actually, you got to send it in every year. It's like a AAA card. If you don't have a Rolex or a Mercedes, they just take it right back from you. So, they're like, this year you're going to be Greek. Page loves Persian guys. It's like her thing. When did this happen?

When did Paige become fascinated with the culture? I think that in New York, like, she would go out a lot. And the, like, successful, like, guys with tables were the Persian guys. Oh, my God. Those are all my cousins, by the way. You all probably are related. Yeah, they're all my third cousins. Like, do Perry date your sister for a second?

I didn't know that. So you dropped that nugget of gold on me on the Giggly Squad, IG Live. I went in to say hello and all of a sudden it was like, did you know that like Perry dated your sister? And I was like, oh, I guess we're going in. Was that my accent? Am I from Wisconsin? I think that's my Hannah.

And I, it was really funny. And then Paige, I think, mentioned that she wasn't like she wanted to follow Mona, but she wasn't sure if that would be a little. weird. So I, like, told this all to Mona afterwards. And Mona thought it was like the funniest thing. It was like, oh my God, we went like two dates. It was so like casual, whatever, you know, so yeah, no, no. I guess if you're a good looking Persian, you like find other good looking persians in the community. Oh, yeah. Well, Perry and I are going to definitely size each other up once we meet each other, you know? Oh, I can't wait. It's going to be a bro down. Persian bro down.

I can't wait. So in terms of dating. Yeah. Were you leaning towards more right now? Are you looking for a nice Persian girl? Are you looking for anyone who tickles your fancy? I don't, I don't date Persian girls. I have never dated a Persian girl in my entire life. Now, let me say it's not that I wouldn't date a Persian girl. I just have never dated a Persian girl. I always date girls that look like you. I mean, like the very American eyes. Like I totally forgot. I do look like your ex. Which one? Erica. Erica. Yeah, you have a little bit Erica vibe going on there. She's like a little like more cutie, but you're both very cute. But yeah, I mean, the same kind of, that's always been like my wheelhouse of girls that I've dated and so yeah I mean dating in LA is really really fun but you know when you

have like work and you're you think you're going to become bicostal like you don't the serious thing kind of goes out the door for that yeah I mean and you were pretty firm on shaz you were like I don't know if I want to have a family if I want to have kids because I saw how having kids could be really painful and hard on the children in certain scenarios where's your mindset right now um I think for me and this is really wrong and I'm sure it's going to elicit a lot of responses and God bless each and every one of you. I for kids for me it's a money thing. I really want to make sure that like I have enough money in my life to where like my family doesn't struggle and I'm not there yet. So if I get to that point and that and that's a subjective thing. Like that point is

subjective for me and it's different for somebody else. If I get to that point then certainly I'll have kids. But I'm at the point now where like the next three to four years I'm going to be moving very heavily into like directing and nothing can derail me from that in the sense of like kids or a family can handle a girlfriend but like not kids so once that sort of lines up then for sure like if i'm slanging jobs and making a ton of money then why would i not want to have kids you know i actually i like that answer a lot because before it had seemed on the show that like you were like emotionally scared to like reproduce and like for children to like not be happy like and have pain that you might have felt in the past and like I felt like that was just like your own PTSD of your stuff that

you had to figure out because sometimes I feel like I don't really think about kids but I feel like with the right person I'll be like oh yeah like let's let's multiply yeah no I mean listen don't don't discount my PTSD and the emotional baggage that comes with all of this okay because I'm like I thought this is like an airline I'm paying for like the third luggage you know what I mean like it's $50 three times over but um there's an element of that right Like I went through a shitty situation, but I'm also like a firm believer that my kids are not destined to go through the same situation that I went to. In fact, I know for a fact that they wouldn't. So like, yeah, I mean, it's not something that I'm opposed to.

It's really about like I just want to get to a point where I'm directing full time and then I can like literally have my kids and put my kids in private school if I wanted to or whatever I want to do. Like they're not going to have to worry about anything. So that's important to me for, you know. 100%. And I think each generation deals with trauma. And it's like our job to kind of cope and like learn from our parents' mistakes. Like we are the way we are from our genetics and we try to like learn. Totally.

Can I ask you a question about this from like a female's perspective? Yeah. Because when I talk about this on dates, I get very different responses. So I'll say this exact thing. Because this kid's things come up now. Like when you're 30s, like people bring up kids in the first date. How old are you now? I'm 37.

And like when you bring up. Yeah. And I know I'm getting. up there, you know? And it's like when I talk about this on dates, I'm very honest. Here's why I have like zero girl drama in my life is because I'm so to the point and honest. And I'd rather just be like, listen, this is where I'm at. And if it doesn't work with you, like we'll be fucking friends. And I'm super cool with that. But I get the responses that what I say to the girls is basically like, look, I'm at a point where I want to make enough money to where my kids don't struggle. And my wife doesn't

have to work. Like, meaning if she wants to work, God, blessed. I would encourage that and support that all day long. Do you, but we don't need to rely on two incomes. Is that off putting from a female perspective to hear a guy say that? Tell me the truth. You could take it as like, I don't want a woman to have to work where like a lot of time work brings women joy. So they could, I know that like maybe it's because the Persian culture is a little traditional, but it could make you feel like, oh, he just wants like a trophy wife. But I do that thing. And I don't. And like here's the like take Bravo for example.

Bravo is run by like powerful women who I had like mad respect for. You know? And it's it's not I'm like if you if you get joy out of working and all that, then I want to like support that and run with that all day long. I'm just saying like I would like to be in a position to where if one parent doesn't have to work, that's ideal. That goes both ways by the way. Well, yeah.

I was about to say what if like we start dating and like I'm very successful, very wealthy? And I say I'm your sugar. Mama. Are you saying that about yourself right now? Are you projecting for the future? Oh, okay. I'm saying right now. Okay, good. Got it. I am very attractive. Honestly, I've only been making money for about two years. Right. I'm like, I started seeing a guy and I'm like, I'm going to be a sugar mama. Uh-huh. And he kind of laughs. And then at one point, he was like, you know, I make more money than you. And I was like, yeah. But I'm like, I'm a sugar mama. I really like the confidence. Continue with it. Please. Yeah. But like if I say Neva, like, I am doing well. Like I have a Netflix special coming out. I don't. But like if I have a Netflix special coming out, I don't. But like if I have. I had. And, you know, keep manifesting. Don't fucking talk yourself down. We're manifesting.

And I'm like, you can do like your little cute artsy projects. Wait, you got to be a passive, aggressive dick about it though. Can you just be like supportive? You got to be an asshole? What you said? But if we started dating and I had, I'm like a multi-millionaire killing the game. Yeah.

And I was like, you don't have to work. Dream life. Dream life. You would like to be like a stay-at-home dad? I would do it if that's what made sense for our family without even the smallest amount of ego. That's what I say. Everything I'm saying, it works in the reverse completely. So I think that you're just wording it in a way that could be perceived wrong. Right. Look, if you and I got married because you're just killing the game and you're like a Netflix special in like every

single day and I was like, look, I'm going to go direct projects, but now I don't have to direct because I don't need to make money doing it. I can just do like passion projects and you're basically okay being married to me and in those terms. Like that's a, I would do nothing but support you and be like all about it. So. Yeah. So I think you. frame it because it goes both ways when you say like i don't want my wife to have to work a lot of the time like they could take it as oh this guy just wants a woman at home doing dishes taking care of the kids absolutely not absolutely in fact i you need to rephrase it yeah and let me be really clear actually i wouldn't want that i would if someone didn't have to work because money was just rolling in

i would hope that they would do something else that made them passionate and happy every day because you i'm a firm believer that you get that happiness and passion for something outside of the house. Oh, yeah. And we've seen a couple of your relationships on the show. I feel like you've dealt with some heartbreak. Do you have any advice for listeners on like overcoming your heartbreak? Yeah, there's two actually.

One is a cliche and one's like heartfelt. The cliche one which someone told me when I was going through my divorce, which I wanted to punch them in their fucking nuts was time heals all wounds. And I was like, get like, please shut up. Like don't read me bumper stickers, but it totally works. Like the stuff you're upset about today, odds are you might not be upset about it six months from now. And that's the truth. If you're going to some more serious stuff, I don't know, I think that like when you start to get to a point where like you are really, really happy with

yourself, like, I'm at a point now where like I'm really content with like work and like I have really good relationships with people around me. Like I'm, that's a happiness that no one else can provide for you. And so it makes it to where like when shit goes wrong, you can just sort of like bounce back easier, you know, because it's like your your sense of self worth is in determined by the person that's like next to you it comes from within so reach that's why i mean yeah it's it's been a good time life right now life right now my 30s is like really really great people say your 30s is when like you stop giving so much of a shit of what people think of you you get like you just understand yourself better yeah if if you went to a psychic what would you want to know

about your future i did go to a psychic and instead of my future they gave me like a past life reading and my god did we know each other in a past life i don't know i don't know maybe we were like married or something but I'll tell you two things they said one I had two lives one I was a gynecologist apparently which was like weirdly like a very cool flex I thought you know I was like that's kind of a good thing to have and then a good skill set one would want to know a male or female a male gynaecologist and I was like you know like I delivered babies and I guess like I was very comfortable you know with like the inner workings of a vagina and I'm like look that might not be a bad thing to have in one's repertoire so what happened I don't know I guess malpractice lawsuit I don't know

But prior to that, I was a Revolutionary War hero. Like, like, she was like, you were literally a soldier in the revolution. This isn't some like random wacko. Like, this is like a very well respected medium. And she was like, you were a Revolutionary War hero. And I was like, so basically you're saying I'm a hero. And she was like, you were a hero. You're a vagina hero and a war hero.

Literally both. And what more could you ask for? So, yeah, I mean, I don't want to brag with those are pretty solid past life. I've never done like a future reading. What would you, what would you want to know though about your like in the next 10 years? What would you want to know? I would want to know if my hair falls out like for sure because I have like a. I have a very important relationship with my hair.

And if it falls out like I need to know now so I can like really go into like death con one preemptive strategy here. That's one. Number two, I want to know if like the teeth memes are ever going to stop or am I just going be Ross from friends forever. I'd like to know that in advance. And then number three, I guess, you know, if I want to give like a stoop, am I going to be happy? You know, that's like those are the three things. But like in that order, plea a happiness, but after the hair and the teeth. I feel like we're similar in that I, I, I asked less about my career,

like my relationships. I'm just like, am I happy? Of course. When was the last time you like really weren't happy? Like, where you were depressed or not feeling like yourself or having bad anxiety? 2015, the entirety of 2015. Was that the divorce? that was a divorce you know and it was funny because the divorce was like it was one of those marriages that was like way over like we were done like three months four months before I had seen a therapist and she was like this is over like this marriage is over you need to come in together I'm a divorce of two of you and I was like that was such a surreal concept yeah she's like a very famous therapist in like the Persian community and my sister went to her and she took my sister from like a shy

pharmacist to like Dr. Mona you know and just like empowered her super super amazing woman and so she was like you this is done you don't have the strength to leave you'll never leave her so you're going to bring her here and i'm going to divorce the two of you which was like the most surreal statement especially if you're not emotionally ready to hear that statement i was like no no no we're gonna make it work because we love each other and then of course three months later the wheels fell off and she left to go be with another guy i was super even though it was over i was super upset about it and that same therapist was like, dude, you're going to thank her one day. You're just not there yet emotionally. Like you're not emotionally strong enough to like have this conversation with me. But in a year,

you're going to thank her. And I did. I thanked her like a year later. How did the therapist know that you guys were like done? Well, we had stopped having sex. We were like we just and it wasn't even just that. It was like we just really did not work. Like we did not flow. Like little things like going to like a bed bath and beyond on a Saturday to go buy towels. was hard work for us. You know what I mean? And so like when you get into that place where like it just doesn't flow anymore, it's really nobody's fault.

And that's why I never shit on her is because even though like she went out the wrong way, she ultimately just like chose her own happiness first. Yes. You know? And I'm like. Yeah, it's like all is fair and love and war. Completely. It gets ugly.

But ultimately you wanted her to be happy. There is like a Dane cook joke that they would do about talking about leaving a relationship. And it's like, yeah, when you start fighting with the little things like, oh, you put peanut butter on top with the jelly. really you sick fuck and then it's like when it's time to leave they're like oh i can't leave my CDs are in his car it's like get out bitch get out but women are stronger emotionally than men and women will leave men this is the problem with guys guys will cheat before they leave and it's

like don't fucking do that guys will cheat and then they'll have the mistress on the side and then they'll just wait to get caught yeah they want to make the girl go crazy and end it and they go the girl's fucking crazy and it's like yeah you cheat on her and gas literally her and ghosted her the whole fucking time. 100%. 100%. Not from experience, but I'm sorry. No, but women are emotionally smarter than men. I think smarter across every platform than men. Women are just more developed beings. And so women can, I think, process an emotional situation that much better and just approach it more rationally and say, this isn't working and I'm going to bounce. I was like, like, I was

like in the middle of a tornado and I was like, things are great. We love each other. Like total like head in the sand dumbass but again what are you going to do like you just in that moment where you just have to like you know you hope for the best so yeah are you an anxious person overall oh my god I'm like riddled with anxiety that's why I take edibles every night to sleep 100% I mean it's just a constant thing like I don't know what non anxiety is like ever it's funny because you're so chill in this podcast but I was like the fact he loves my tweets like he must be in his head all the all the time. I like sent a message to my production guru, the guy who like grew me up in production. And I told him about this opportunity to direct. And like, from the production, well,

it's a really big, big leap. And he was like, I was like, you know, I'm a little anxious about this. Like, I want to make sure I land and just like really kill it. He's like, well, you're anxious about what you're going to have for dinner later tonight. So this is like, I was like, damn, like that's so true. It's like, it's just the thing that I deal with. There's one moment when I was like vacationing post-divorce in St. Thomas, like, laying in the water, there was like no one around me. And I remember just like, I think I was like laying there and I like, like, like, farted out loud. And like, no one heard it. And I was like, this is what non-anxiety is like, this is that moment of peace that I've been searching for for my entire life. Because like no one could hear it.

And I was like, no one cared. I was like, this is, this is life. This is heaven. Honestly, farting alone and those three seconds of release are truly the most peace. times of my life one of my favorite moments of the giggly squad and i have i have only watched a couple so i have to say i don't want to i don't want to pretend that i'm a connoisseur here but uh was when you and page talked about farting in front of guys and like just the polar extremes and not only your your feelings about farting but like facial expressions like you were so like in the cut like owning it just like yeah whatever and page her eyes were like this big and she was like I've never farted in front of Perry

never while like shit I was like you know yeah I was kind of more on pages side because that's kind of how I am in relationships but I was like very impressed by how much you fucking own that I've done it too much to the point where like I started farting that's how you know it's over when like you don't give a fuck

and you're just like farting on him like just fucking with him it's like a subconscious of like I don't care to be sexy around you anymore so it's definitely not healthy but you don't want to feel like you're in your a prison in your own home when you're, get a little bloated. I don't, I don't like, if you have to hold a fart, then it goes back inside and that's like

the worst pain in the world. So yeah. Yeah. You have things when you're like first dating a guy where you'll like, you'll like go to the other room or like go to Starbucks or, because what of you was saying you guys went to the bathroom at like Starbucks for like a year? Yeah, page full on like left someone's house at like 4 a.m. Because she didn't want to hear her fart or something.

Right, right. What's your policy with that? You just like whatever? It's, I'm like pretty good at silent farting. but if you think it's going to smell, you have to go in another room. Got it. You have to blame it on the dog. Got it.

I love that we went from my divorce to farting in a matter of like 90 seconds. It's a really solid progression. Farting can come up in any conversation and it's a smooth transition. Absolutely. We're going to wrap up with a final game. Okay. Amazing. Yeah.

Called the Seven Deadly Sins. Okay. what are you greedy about oh wow um that's this is really i've never played the game like this um my time i'm very greedy with my time if i sit down at dinner with things all the time if i sit down a dinner with you or if i like do a podcast with you it's because i genuinely want to be there like it's a genuine thing so i have to get better at that because i was i'm like a yes person and i love to like feel like I'm busy, but then I've gotten in situations where I'm like, this is, like, I'm getting abused at this point.

Like, this is not worth it for me. But I, I'm always scared of feeling like people be like, that girl's a bitch because she said no. No, actually, it's funny. Like, if I were to ask you to do something and there's reservation in your tone, like, I actually weirdly find that very respectable because I'm like, I'm like, oh, this is someone who takes their time seriously. And then also, like, if I get that sense from you, then I'm less reluctant to like fuck around on your time.

You know what I mean? Because I'm like, oh, like, Hannah takes her shit seriously. Like, she's got a Netflix special coming out, guys. She's blowing up, okay? I can't, like, waste her fucking time. I got to read my A game on this podcast because, like, you know, after me, it's like Barack Obama. Like, that's the, you know, those, these are the guests that she gets here. So.

Oh, I just love to say, um, in the previous last couple months, Nima did piss off Mega Markle's fans and it was hilarious. Um, who are you envious of? Um, I'm envious of, um, my envious. Envy's not a good quality to have, but if I had to say that I was envious of someone, you know, I'm really envious of LeBron James. Let me tell you why. Because LeBron James is like, we're basically the same age. Yet one of us has like a dad bod and one of us is like an NBA champion who like is reverse aging, except for his hair. He's also worth like hundreds of millions of dollars. And I've shot with him multiple times in L.A. And he's like also like a bro, which is like the weirdest thing. And so he like, like, like, the coolest guy super nice he was great on train wreck super super cool just shows up easy going like he's got obviously a massive entourage it shows up with him but like i'm like man like i did life wrong when i come back in the next life i've done the gynecology thing i've done the revolutionary war thing i've done the shaw's thing next life it's going to be NBA basketball player

come in around six foot nine that's my wheelhouse that's where i'm going to end up why do you think they have such big entourages because at some point I feel like I'd get annoyed having so many people around me all the time because LeBron James and one of the reasons I'm so envious and maybe even a little in awe of him is he is a brand he is a walking brand and he knows that so when he shows up like the collective team that's around him they are oftentimes managing the business of LeBron which is why to his credit you've never seen LeBron in a scandal you've never seen LeBron step out of line like he's really his brand is so polished and you You know, he still, he'll chime in on politics and stuff, which I think is really great.

But, like, you've never seen a LeBron James scandal ever, you know? I would love to have him on Burning Hell and find out if he's actually, like, a little anxious mess and insecure about his hairline. I really hope that you manifest that and make that happen. I guarantee you he's insecure about his hairline because I'm insecure about my hairline. I got much better hair in LeBron. I don't have much better anything than LeBron James. Hair is one of them. Except the hairline.

Yeah. And your teeth. And my teeth. Yeah. Buck your teeth, LeBron. What are you glutinous? about. So, like, what do you overindulgent? Oh, my God. Food. I have a bit of a food addiction, I think, to be honest with you. Hannah's eyes got all, like, serious. I just got, this got dark.

I like, really. So, you know, I used to be, like, a little bit chubbier, right? And by a little bit, I mean, 55 pounds chubbier. So. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Oh, I had, like, a legit fat fat face. And I was, how long was it? What ages? So I, like, a solid 15-year run where I was, like chubby, you know, and I probably should have like, I don't know, not been chubby, but it was just, I love food. I, and I have no self-control whatsoever. If there is like something unhealthy in this house, trust I'm eating it. Like, I'll find it. I'll eat it. I turn into like a burrowing mouse and I'll like go into like every single, um, like corner of the house. I'll find it. So my, the end result is I don't bring unhealthy food into the house ever. I like

will not allow myself to order it. It's so annoying because I was just with Paige and she loves unhealthy food. Yeah. But she stays skinny because she'll just have a craving and need two bites and then she's done. But then I'm sitting there and if it's in front of me, it's getting eaten. All of it's getting eaten. I'm going to have the biggest food coma. I just posted on Instagram a bloated pick.

I saw. Most likes I've ever gotten out of photo. I was magical. I was like I think I was absolutely magical. Yeah. So yeah, it's so annoying to me. So yeah, I don't keep unhealthy food around because I'm going to eat whatever is. in the house. What ages were you chubby? I was chubby from like college to like 22 to like 33,

35. Wow. Like basically the years you do not want to be fat when you want to like those are the years that you're like courting girls. Yeah. Yeah. So the fact that I got late at all when I was like chubbier and like I just was like not I did not blossom until my 30s. Let's put it that way. Oh wow. But you do have a good personality and maybe it's because you let me let me just let me just reiterate what you're saying. I did not have a personality. I would have been laid for the entirety of those 15 years. So let's just establish that as back. But you also might have been adorable chubby. I don't think so. I don't. Adorable chubby is like when you have like a family dog, it like gets a little bigger. And you're like, oh, it's so cute. Like, like, your 36 waist jeans like

don't fit. And you got to go like 38 and four. Like it's not adorable. But you seem like a pretty vain person. Was it just a battle that you like couldn't overcome the like love of eating or you just didn't care. It was a combination of like I think not just loving yourself honestly. I mean it's it's vanity is a bad thing to have. And so I was lamenting it to a friend who just like this guy looks like Hugh Jackman like literally. And he was like, dude, I've known you for four years. All you do is complain about this. He's like either do something about it or shut the fuck up. And it was like, he's like, either do something about it or shut the fuck up. And it was like, yeah. He said it in a British accent, which made it like way nicer. You know. Like it wasn't so great. Like you shut the fuck up. And I was like, okay. And I just like something about that statement was just like, yeah. And I just like, Yeah, like, I'm not in shape. I don't need to live like this. And it was like the motivation to like get in shape. And then Bravo came into my life. And all of a sudden I'm sitting here talking to you.

You have a Netflix special tomorrow. And it's like momentum just, but guess. Mementifest manifestation. Oh, we're getting you on Netflix. We're fucking making this happen. Yeah. It's going to happen. Hell yes.

By the way, when I come out to New York next time, I really want, do you do stand up in New York? I do. If it's open. I'm going to need to come like see all of that. I'll show you some of the best spots. When was the last time you experienced extreme wrath or anger? Extreme anger. I would say about two months ago when we lost a case that my company had to deal with.

We lost the case, which is a very important case because we are only, it's a stupid like entertainment thing, but our only recourse would be to like sue sag after. You know what I mean? Which is like a union that I have a very good relationship with. And so I think when you like spend your whole life building out a company and then like someone takes advantage of that because the laws are like, you know, like little loopholes and stuff, that's really, really, really hard. Outside of that, a more personal thing is, you know, I get cropped out of a lot of cast photos on Shaw's and like sometimes that can be very aggravating.

So that is also a time when it gets a little burned up for me, you know? That hurts your ego a bit. A little bit, you know? a little bit, but it's also kind of flattering because it's like they care that much to do it, you know, which I'm kind of appreciate it. Oh, like other cast members do it. One or two here or there, you know? Wow. When is the last time you were a sloth? So, like, had a really lazy day. Sunday? Sunday. Sunday? I like, yeah, literally yesterday. It went football's back, like, forget it. Like, I just wanted, like, I literally post-made it three meals on

postmates. What did you postmate? I ordered like from toast and and I can tell you this to a tea. Toast bakery. I ordered like poached eggs and coffee, which they have somehow managed to get poached eggs to stay poached for the entirety of the delivery. So they're like running and like perfect. I'm like, how the fuck do you do this? But they do. Remarkable. Remarkable. Then I did pizza for lunch because I was like football pizza America. Why not? And then for dinner I did Persian food. I mean, it was literally like fat Nima came like like searching out on Sunday and then but again what this morning I immediately went and like killed myself in the gym to like burn it off so so if if one of our listeners was going to get Persian food what are what's like the top one or two things to order well you know

not to like call out page again but her feelings on Tedique which she did mispronounce but it's called Tedique and it is literally like what we all fight for in in the Persian community. It's the rice in a pot. The bottom layer cooks in the oil. And you basically, it creates this like potato chip rice magical thing, which can be used as like a dip in the stuff. It's just the favorite part of a meal. And on your guys, this giggly squat, she was like, Hannah, it's burnt rice. And I was like, oh, hell no. I got like instantly defal. I was like, oh, uh-uh. I think it's also pages. She loves picking out, but we went to a Persian restaurant with Perry after like an event that we were drunk.

And she's probably had it other times, but I just remember this time she was hammered. She doesn't remember what she ate. She was not in the right mindset, and I don't want you to take it personally. I love the food. No, no, I don't know. I didn't invent Persian food.

I just thought her feelings on Teddy were really odd to me. I was like, that's like, it turns into Gordon Ramsey eating Persian food. She goes, is this microwave? What is this? This is fucking burnt rice.

What the fuck? I was like, that's a go-to. Do not listen to Paige. We love Paige. Do not listen to her. Tedique. Tedique is the go-to.

And then, you know, Persian food is all a bunch of stews. Like the whole, like, kebab thing. Like, we never ate that growing up as kids. You eat the stew. So just get any of the stews that are on the menu and you're going to be super authentic. Amazing. When was the last time you let your pride get in the way of something? So your ego.

I would say that definitely is happening now with, you know, with, you know, You know, podcasting with someone who's like clearly at the next level. No, you know, I think directing is like a really, like the ego thing is really hard because I'm in my late 30s and I'm making a big career lateral jump in L.A. and in New York. And there are guys who are like 23 on Instagram just fucking killing the game. You know what I mean? Like putting out tons of cool content. And so it's very, I think it's human nature to look at that and be like, why didn't I do that at

that age? Why was I so chubby in my 20s? Why did I replace like career success with like postmaid success, you know? So it was, that's probably like the one thing that I struggle with now is like I always feel like I should be more further down the line than I am. And that timing is such a hard thing because you can't force yourself to be ready. And I really feel like the universe puts you in situations when you're ready for it. And sometimes like early success is not always great. No.

Especially if you get it like just put put in your lap or. you get kind of a lucky break and then you feel like you can never live up to what you were. I don't know, there are issues with it. But can you tell me more about the directing? Like, are you directing like brand type stuff? Are you directing creative type? Like what kind of directing and are you keeping your current company? Yeah.

So all branded content. My current company and my talent company in L.A. is really being ravaged by what's going on with the pandemic. And it's hard to talk about because it was like actually like my first company like took me out of like corporate America. So in a lot of ways, it, like, saved me in a lot. And it also, like, the colleagues that I had, well, I could say my clients became my future colleagues. I would watch them in production and be like, I want to do that.

Then I hired people and then I stepped out and went and did production. And then the production is later linked to directing. So, I mean, it's all branded content, music videos, commercials, a lot of digital. I don't want to be doing like, like, you know, a Bud-like commercial. It's not really my thing. But, like, for example, I think brands are going to, the way that they interact. with customers is going to be totally different. So I think if like let's say white claw wanted to interact with like a female demographic or a male demographic in that age range, I think something like

Giggly Squad is so much more valuable to the brand than going and spending money on a commercial because like we could literally go. I could sit with you and page like this is what the brand wants to achieve. How do we do that organic to you and like direct a piece of content? And that gets like 10 times the engagement. So I think that's where like stuff like Giggly Squad is going to blow up in the next like few years because that's what brands want is like authenticity and that's not what you see in commercials I feel like we can talk for hours on this because I was a video producer at Betches. Oh yeah okay and so I was like that's where I was writing all these tweets and memes I was doing I was like it was kind of like betches boot camp of like joke writing but then it was my job because I like edit and I would

direct and I would act in these like one minute sketches yeah and once they they had seven million follower so when something was funny you would like blow up and then finally brands started to reach out and it'd be like oh we'll pay you guys like you know like lots of money to do like a dunk don't donuts thing or like but it's not a lot of money it's not a lot of money because that dunkin donuts thing in l.A cost them a million dollars to shoot that they still have to go and buy ad space for but with you they come to you and this girl's killing it she's funny she's obviously doing it at a high level already with Betches and let's give her 25,000 to make, and to you, like, 25,000. You know, it was crazy because it was my first job. Yeah. I didn't even ask for a budget. Like,

I did it with zero dollars. But that's because you're hungry to do. But that's, that's great. I respect that. I mean, Betches was paying me, but like now I know like, as things have evolved, like people are like, yeah, I could do this for, you know, at least three grand budget or something. But then when I left Betches, I was like, when you talk about your authentic voice and stuff, I always felt like I had to be what their voice was. And then now that I've been able to be me, like I've been having so much fun with my branded videos. Like I love finding brands that are like on the same page as me that I enjoy.

And then seeing my followers be like, fuck yeah, we bought this because that video was hilarious. Yeah, yeah. But that's the authenticity that brands are dying to have. And like I can't tell you how many multimillion dollar commercials I have been on the production side for. like I've you know those like McConaughey Lincoln commercials I've done like three of those and um no one cares no one sees them no one gives a shit you know it's like it's like and they still have to like buy the ad space for us they spend all this money to make it and they gotta go buy so your situation the minute they pay you a 10th a hundredth of what they're spending to shoot this thing they get the content back and they can just put it out on their social they know you're going to do it and your fans are super engaged it's just it's the it's the future

I mean, I had to deal with a lot of people judging me. Like, they were like, oh, are you an influencer now? And I'm like, or they'll be like, oh, are you a sellout? And I'm like, oh, is Jennifer Aniston a sellout for doing Smartwater? Or like, is you watching TV? Like, is that TV show selling out? It's like, no, this is just how people create content. And like, I love doing branded videos.

I think they're so fun. But I do think if you do it wrong, it does look in authentic and stupid and annoying. But that's where you got to find the right you. They've got to find the right Hannah for that. But I will tell you. I've been working with like Tampag because I've been doing a ton of like sex toy companies because I love talking about like your sexuality and being empowered and like not even in a gross way, just in a normal way.

Well, I'll tell you, yeah, it's been fun. Speaking of being an influencer and owning that shit, I did a thing on my Instagram about LaCroix, the water. And I was like, is it Laquois or is it LaCroix? And I tagged them. Like, can you guys please just, they message me and they're like, it's actually LaCroi. Thank you for. asking and they sent me like a case of LaCroix and let me tell you if my career ends at that moment

where like LaCroix has sent me free water like like this is the pinnacle of influencing for me in my life and I was like I don't care what anyone thinks I have made it clearly I am like obviously a top level influencer do you really like because I would tweet about ranch all the time yeah and now like I guess I'm on their like list of like send people shit and I'll randomly get like a t-shirt or Like a towel from Hidden Valley, so we're friends. I better fucking get one of those Hidden Valley T-shirts because I will rock the shit out of that complete all day long. I have such like ridiculous promo materials in my house from random as brands. I love that.

I absolutely love that. I also want to see some of your like branding. You got to send me some of this stuff because I'll tell you, my friend owns the largest sex toy company in Canada. And he's always looking for stuff like this. Okay, I'll send you some of my videos after. I'll connect you guys. he, when I met him, he was like, oh, I'm going to send you a bunch of stuff. And I was like, what?

Like at dinner, I was like, what? And he was like, oh, I'm going to send you a bunch. I was like, okay, he's the nicest guy. And he, like, followed up. I was like, this is one of those, like, L.A. Conrad. He followed up on Instagram. He's like, yo, give me your address. So I was like, okay.

So I'm thinking he's like, what is eating? I don't know. Motherfucker sends me like a box, like a massive box of like every sex toy imaginable. And first of like 80% of them are for women. So like, what am I going to do with like, like vaginal loob? You know, or like one of those like the suction stimulators? Oh my God, those are the best. I know.

You girls go crazy. But I'm like, how creepy would it be if a girl comes over and it's like, here's my box of sex toys? You just pick whatever you want. So I was like, obviously can't. I've already given them away. And definitely a relationship thing because like if you're not, you're like, who's used this? 100%.

So it's to me like a girl seeing that would be like the most creepy thing in the world. so I had to give them away. But when I say like this company is pushing the envelope and creativity, there's a lot of video content you can put out there, Hannah, because they've got a lot of stuff going on, a lot of stuff. I can't wait. Speaking of, when was the last time you lusted over someone? Oh, man.

It also could be like a celebrity crush type thing. Yeah, I would say that I lusted over a girl. Like really it was like, oh, this girl is. like my soulmate kind of thing, who I've never met and will never meet in my entire life. Yeah. Those are the most romantic. Completely. I would say I had a really big crush on this girl named Ellie Gonzalez, who is an Australian

supermodel and just thought she was like the hottest thing in the world. And then my friend was creating a Yel Tell campaign and was like, they were actually Yeltele like once like an Australian girl. And they were like, I was like, I know someone like as if I know her. I was like, I've heard of someone. So I like set him her stuff and he was like really high up like in a position to make the deal happen. And he was like, dude, Yelotel loves her. They want to use her.

They put her in a national Super Bowl commercial for three years, Hannah, I sat on this information and I'm like, do I tell her? Do I not tell her? I wrote her a DM once and deleted it because I got embarrassed. And then I got on Shaw's and got the stupid blue check, whatever. And I was like, you know what? Like six months ago, I'm like, you know what? in the most non-creepy way because she's in a committed relationship

and I don't want to disrespect that. I was like, I'm just gonna, she's like millions of followers. So I like message her. And I was like, hey, I know this is super out of left field, but that yellow tell thing you did back then, like, and I authenticated.

I said my friend's name who she went. Yeah. She wrote me back this like page long response and was like, that changed my life. She was like, I got signed by William Morris because of it.

Like my career, I was already very successful, but it took me to the, the next level. She was like, we followed each other on Instagram and she was like, I was like, would you want to do my podcast? And we could tell it. She was like 100%. So we're trying to schedule it. So that was like, but now, because like it's like a work thing now, like now I'm like very professional with her at all times. And also she's in a very committed relationship. But that was like the last like real lust girl. That is wild. And it shows by sometimes being a thought on

Instagram could be helpful. Yeah. Although she's really not though. Because she's like like like in like like an actual model. I want to be a thought on Instagram. That's like my goal in life to do that. You're a teeth thought. I also think though like doing those things is good karma. Like it does come full circle. Like I love connecting people because you never know. It's just such great. And especially in the podcast world since you're starting like connecting people that have been on your pod with other pods. like you just really grow and as other pods grow with you, it's just like you all get stronger together. Totally, totally.

Final question. Yes. What advice would you give to the little devils who are listening on what to do to cope with your hell when you're going through it? Two things. Number one, you will never ever lose by putting yourself first, ever. And do not give even an ounce of energy to someone who tells you that self, because, listen, putting yourself first within reason.

If your dad's like, hey, I need to drive to the hospital. It's like, listen, dad, this is a me day. And I can't be bothered. I'm sorry you're going through something, but like. I just got a quartz roller and just see how it affects my cords. Exactly. So like all things within reason. But putting yourself first and then I personally deal with a lot of self-doubt constantly.

It's a thing that I deal with. so I remove anybody from my life and I'm talking anybody outside if you're not blood related to me like you are on the chopping block 100% yeah and so like if you if I'm dealing with like self doubt day in and day out and it's a struggle for me to like gain the energy to go to the gym and I get discouraged and you bring in some like negative shit into my life like bro like we we are just not even fucking with each other at all like at all and so that has really made a huge difference for me is just keeping. the energy around me positive because if there's one overarching theme to this like you really are the company that you keep. I like genuinely believe that. I love those two answers so much because first of all, when you start doing well, people will make you feel selfish. Like people will make you feel some type of way. I always say I hold grudges. Like if you fuck me over. It's stupid for me not to remember how you fucked me over. Hello. I don't know if it's like a Sicilian thing or something, but like we're done.

I'm petty LaBelle. I'm petty LaBelle. I will literally fucking hate you for 20 years and like self-righteously hate you, you know? And I'm not going to be fake with people. I think people would be like, Hannah, it's so selfish of you. You have to practice forgiveness.

And I was like, I'll forgive myself for even letting you be in my presence that one time. Do you, girl. Do you, but I'm very excited for you because you have a new podcast that's out. Can you tell me all the information about it? Yeah, yeah.

So it's called Off Brand with Nima Van. It's at Action Park Media, which is, you know, a company owned by Kevin Connelly. They're super, super amazing to me. They literally, like, brought me in. I did guest spots on Sheena's show, you know Sheena. And then Heather Young and Jessica Hall's show. And based off of just, like, successful guest appearances, I, Jessica Hall reached out and was like, I think you guys should connect, like, with him.

I think he would do really well. And they, like, took a leap of faith on me. And so, you know, like, it's just been this really cool thing that we do. We've had some really amazing guests. I am trying to get Netflix special Hannah Burner on our show. I would love to come on. I mean, because she's got these specials that she has to kind of squeeze in between. So we can just like wedge ourselves in between one of those.

Yeah, the special is every single day. So I have to figure out where to put it in. We will get in where we fit in. So yeah, but I mean, it's just been this like really great outlet for me. And I really enjoy it. But it's so much fucking work, dude. Like it is so much work. It is.

But like you're going to meet so many cool people. and connect to so many people you would have never talked to. And you're a natural at it. So I'm excited to listen to it. I'd love to be on it. Off brand. Off brand. It's literally right at my Instagram.

Just go to my end. The link is right there. And where can people follow you? What else can do you think people should do if they're obsessed with you? Just all Instagram for now. Everything in my life is on Instagram. I'm not a Snapchater, you know? Because I feel like Snapchat's just for nudes and I'm not going to send nudes.

And like I don't tweet ever. I do eat like randomly. But like Instagram is where like if I'm going to like flex or have a fat day or just overshare things that no one gives a shit about like it all happens on Instagram. It's all live on Instagram. And I'm going to try to like your photos more more. I'm sorry. Please, please do. I really appreciate it.

And I will tell you you need to like my photos more. And if page follows Mike and not me, she's completely dead to me. I don't understand. Paige doesn't mean it personally. She was napping a lot during quarantine and she probably just missed it in the nap. And then she lost it. But I will let her know. You guys actually have a lot of beef.

And it's pretty, it makes me laugh. Yeah, because I mean, like I said, I'm pale about a whole garage. I will hate her for a hundred years. And I've prepared to hate Paige for a hundred years. Like, I'm emotionally ready for this moment. So just let her know, like, I'm completely on board with this, you know? Yeah, we can literally be enemies for the rest of our life. And poor Hannah is going to be stuck in the middle, like the fucking divorce kid who has spent like Thanksgiving with me and Christmas with Paige.

You know? And it's like, that's going to be our thing. I can go downhill. So I'm going to try nipping in the bud early. There you go. and mediate the situation. But, Nima, you've been amazing in hell. Thank you so much for coming.

It was a hot one today. And I'll talk to you guys later. Bye.