Berner Phone - Niche Collections

Episode Date: June 1, 2026

This week, Des listens to voicemails about the strangest things people collect. From animal bones and troll dolls to rosary beads and matchboxes, the Dialers call in to share the unique collections they've built over the years.   Call [phone] to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: [phone]   FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5   FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/   Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com

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every jaw-dropping twist. This is where reality lives. This is where Hulu gets real. Stream now on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus, for bundle subscribers. Terms apply. Hi, it's Hannah Burner. And Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the burner phone.

If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast. Welcome back. Our little darless, here we are. Me and Nicole, organizing the captain of the ship, hanging out here in a beautiful, late May, are we late May?

Late May, noon and boy, oh boy, we had a lot of responses come in this week. So this is our first week using our new phone number. Actually, God, Nicole, how unorganized them. Do you have the number to hand? Because now we're like a radio show. Now it's like called 917. I should know it. This is really embarrassing. It's just my first day as a radio host and I'm failing. Because I kept going back to my text to you to find the number. I got it. Okay, what is it? 917-512-1-1-7-8.

9-1-2-17-5-8. Call the burn-in-front hotline. See, we're a radio show. 9-17-1-2-17-58. Call the burn-phone hotline. That's the number all the time now, guys. And by the way, I'm aware our international dial has messaged me. It is a long-distance call. I am. By the time you hear this, by the way, it will have been resolved. but I am working on getting a WhatsApp number.

No pun intended. I bought a burner phone and I got a Mint Mobile account, one of our sponsors, and that WhatsApp will be live by the time you hear that. So for the international dials, you will be able to send me a WhatsApp message, but for the American dialers and the Canadian dialers that have American calls in their plan, please use the Google Voice because they transcribe. I don't mind getting the WhatsApp from the international dollars. I don't mind listening, but the transcriptions are handy.

So anyway, that's a bit of admin done. So save that number because the Telby was always difficult. And for the record, I wasn't looking to get rid of the system that we had. That system has not worked. It's now, it's been five, six days. It's still not working. So unfortunately, that is, that link is done. Let it go.

Forget about it. It's dead. It's in the ground. The link is over. And so now we have a phone number, which I feel like, Nicole, we're getting that little bit closer to do a live phone-in show, to be honest with you. I can't wait. I mean, we're going to have to look into the logistics of this, you know? We can make it happen.

This is our last episode where I'm going to be in the United States recording. For a month after this, I'll be in Ireland. So, it probably happened during the summer, you know, we'll do a live phone in episode. By the way, I have picked a book for the book club, guys. Did I remember the name of it? No, but I will get it by the end of the episode. I'll run out because I've actually started reading it because Hannah bought it or Hannah got sent it. And I was like, I'm going to start reading this.

It's very interesting. It's about a trad wife. Oh, yesteryear? Yesterday year? I'm reading it. I'm reading it right now. Okay, so guys, in July. Have it read by the middle of July.

I don't have an exact date yet. Well, now, Nicole, you're excited about it. I'm locked in. Okay, so I started, just started it, though. And by the way, again, yesterday year will be an extra episode, okay? Which actually, by the time you hear this, we will have had our first extra episode because you will have listened to our chat with Dr. Kazarian. But this will be our second extra episode in July and we'll take the prompts.

That would be a fun live call. but, you know, let's, we'll take the prompts on yesteryear. I feel like for this audience, it's a good read. I was immediately, I was immediately sucked in. I'm paraphrasing, but the opening line is something like, this was the last day of the life that I knew. That's like the opening line. I was like, bring me in.

Because every now and then I get such bad anxiety that, like, I actually begin to think like something really bad's about to happen. And I always, this is, this will tell you how fucked up my mind is. I always kind of go, take this moment in, because you might be thinking about this moment being the end of the normality that you knew. I remember, like, but of course it doesn't happen, you know. And the ones that actually happened like falling down a mountain and never getting my knee back to normal, I wasn't thinking it.

I wasn't at the top of it. But I have a pick, I have, I have instant stories from when I was at the top of that mountain and I had no idea that I would never like be normally physically active again. So you actually don't know. And the times that you can go like, oh, take this in. This might be the end. It's not going to be the end, you know? You know, I just every now and then I just get weird things like, oh, something terrible is about that.

But it doesn't, you know? I mean, it has been happening slowly. But I don't know when society is going to totally fall apart. But I do get some of those pangs every now and then. Anyway, this is our first. episode with the with the phone number right and uh i think i think it's easier to use so sianara sianara sianara talby well because the tellby sorry guys i know we're doing a lot of admin here at the top of the app but the the link that we had was if you went on instagram and you clicked on the link

you couldn't actually leave the recording so you had to open it in an external browser and that was like annoying. I mean, some, you know, so once people got used to fine, but I think we're going to get some fresh voices. And by the way, I have no problem with our regular dialer inners, all right? And I know we have some regular ones that I never recognize them, but, you know, some fresh voices. But then the crazy thing about the new number is, because it's a Google voice, by the way, just in case anybody's wondering, it's Google voice. But then I was like, I'm like getting text. They're not texting me, but I see it an email. I'm getting a text. And it was like, hey, I was a 19 year old kid from the show in New York.

Because I, you know, like this kid became part of the show, the 19 year old. He was like, I'm 19 from New York. It's like, okay. Hopefully Hannah doesn't see this text. What is this? Why is 19 from New York calling you? On his secret number. Yeah.

So, but anyway, so the number worked out. So as a result, we got three really good follow-ups. And, you know, we don't get a lot of, I'm a fan of the follow-ups. So let's take our first response. Before we get into the prompt, by the way, which is niece collections. Hi, Des. This is actually about a previous episode with Hannah. I called in saying, like, my boyfriend at the time really wanted me to be a stay-at-home mom,

and he made enough to support me. But, like, I wanted to do more in my career. and moral of the story, break up with them. Like Hannah always says, like, break up with your boyfriend. Oh, my goodness. He was really a nice guy. You guessed that he was Arab.

Actually, he is Irish red hair, like, red hair, red as it can get. And anyways, I just thought it's funny because now I've broken up with him because he said, and I quote, he wasn't proud of me for being in banking. And I was like, oh, like, actually I have a really good job. But thank you. I know I don't make millions of dollars like you do. But for the average American, I'm doing very well. But yeah, so I just thought I should take you back on Hannah's advice, breakup with your boyfriend.

Well, we're very happy because this was a big one. This was, you know, every now and then, including one of the ones we're about to read out, you get a message or you get a dialer, their message really resonates with the audience. And this one at the time was a big mama. And it was universal break up with this guy. Now, I actually think about this dialer a lot

because I have speaking lately about the red-pilled guys in the sauna, right? Yeah. So did I tell the story about the guys that were saying they're not comfortable with their woman working? Did I tell you that story? Yeah. So did I tell that on the pod?

Yeah. Yeah, okay, so I was thinking about her when I heard those guys. I was like, holy shit, this is more common than I thought. And then the other day, I bumped into a woman in a different gym, right? Because I go to physical therapy in a different gym. And she was like, I listen to your pod. You know, you got to stop going to that sauna. You got to come to our sauna.

They're not all red-pilled here. But anyway, and I didn't have the term, I know the term red-pilled, but I didn't realize, of course, that I'm surrounded by red-pilled. men in this situation. But anyway, clearly amongst the Redfield community, it's way more common, you know, this thing about, oh, I don't want my woman working, you know? And then just the other day, a TikTok popped up. And it was like some like, you know, guy, some woman and her man. And she was like in tears saying like, you help me to find myself by telling me to stop working. And it was like, okay, I'm not going to, I can't say that she's brainwashed, you know, maybe she truly found herself. But it's just so weird how this whole Red Pilt community is trying to sort of like, they're really pushing this fantasy that you'll be happier going back to some previous iteration of the way humanity organized itself.

It's very, it's a really like big push. And then, Nicole, do you know the name of this asshole that he's always arguing with women? he seems to be like 40, 45-ish, maybe maybe 35. And his background has like lettering on it, like black and white lettering. I forgot his name. He's big, though. He gets big and he's always like argument only fans, girls. And he wasn't on the Manosphere doc, though.

But it, you know, it doesn't, it doesn't really matter. But, you know, he was trying to argue that there should only be one vote per household. Right? I was, one vote per household. and I was and he was like yeah but what if if your wife is voting against your interests you know then she's voting against the interests of the household I was like no motherfucker you're just assuming that the man knows better the interests of the household that's fucking ridiculous it was I was losing my mind by the way I get it you know the the red pill guys would be like oh I'm just a cuck but I

don't even mean that the woman would naturally like have a better vote than the guy but what I do mean is like how can you just assume that the man is going to have the household's interests at heart better than the woman. It's so fucking ridiculous, you know? I mean, the whole, the whole content, even the fact that it's up for discussion is ridiculous, but those guys are living in such a, you know, I don't know if it's a fantasy world or if they're just so skilled at this like online brainwashing that they're just, what's the word? They're just aspirational in their desire to try to normalize this type of like conversation. Because it's not, it's not a real conversation.

Unless you can shift society so much that the Handmaid's Tale seems to be like attainable. And sometimes honestly, like, I think I might have said this before, but I enjoyed season one of The Handmaid's Tale. Like many things, it goes on too long. I never read the books. But it just seems so ridiculous. It's at the time. Not that long ago.

it seemed so ridiculous. And yet now, like, it's just, it seems closer and closer. Like, actually, it's not even controversial. It's not even, like, alarmist to be like, oh, this, this, you know, seems pretty close to to the handmade still. It's, like, so close. And I'm seeing so many of these conversations. See, my problem is, these guys wind me up so much.

But then the algorithm thinks, oh, he's red-pilt. He needs to see this shit. I'm like, no, I'm not red-pilt. I don't need to see this shit. You know, I'm only watching it because I can't believe it exists. So anyway, when she messaged in, I didn't think it was common. That was back. Hannah and I were on vacation in Cabo in December when she messaged in.

And now since then, I've heard all these red pill dues and I've seen all these videos. Actually, it's her fault. She's the one that fucked up my algorithm, this woman. So anyway, now it's starting to freak me out, honestly, to be honest, some of the shit that people of pushing, especially when Erica Kirk pushes it. God rest her husband. I felt bad for her that she lost her husband. I didn't like her husband. I actually spoke ill of him

a couple of days before he got shot. And then I edited that out of the episode because I just didn't want people thinking he's speaking ill to the dead, even though he was still alive when I said it. I didn't like Charlie Kirk. I didn't like what he stood for. But I felt terrible for her when her husband died. But then at the same time, I have to watch her giving off this fucking

bullshit tradwife vibes when she's fucking literally like just like an insanely busy CEO. And by the way, I don't mock her for being. I'm proud of her for being a girl boss, I guess, you know, except that her girl bossiness is basically saying, hey, all you girl bros is out there, sit the fuck down and be subserving to your husband,

you know, even though it's like the opposite of what she's doing, right? I don't just mean because her husband's dead and she can't, but you know what I'm saying. I'm not going to jam myself up. At this stage, I don't even give a fuck anyway, you know, that just the sort of martydom of that.

It was a terrible tragedy, but to sort of put his image up amongst these other people that just sacrifice so much more for the greater good of humanity really actually did bother me. So that's probably another good reason why yesteryear is going to be our first book club, all right? Because yesterday literally begins with that, right? It's not a spoiler alert, but it begins with a bit of a trad wife who's a walking hypocrisy.

So that was our first response. Actually, looks like today's going to be a response episode. You know? Let's, uh, so let the, so one of the biggest responses we've ever had was to, to a recent app, which was, uh, the one about the, um, the HR situation and the, the letter, the letter, the scarlet letter. Okay. Just listen to the episode from today and my take on the girl with the HR issue and the guy

that emailed her. Um, super weird. that HR would tell him that it was fur? Like, that seems like a breach of, I don't know, whatever they're supposed to be doing. Like, not cool. I would talk to them about it. And then also, I would just not respond to the guy.

Like, fuck that. You don't want to talk to him. You moved locations. It's not like you ever have to see him again. And I think not responding is a response. Like, don't email me. and yeah he'll get the message okay that was it bye so anyway even in the spotify comments there was a lot of comment on this so fortunately our dialer who i won't name messaged in so here's

the update everybody i'm so happy this one i was really like on edge waiting yeah yeah so this one was a biggie but now i have to say that she has actively also been in the spotify comments so there's also updates in there. So for some context, she's an engineer in manufacturing. So she's in a rotational program. And she had left that rotation three months earlier than planned. Oh, sorry, she's in a rotational program. So she had left that rotation three months earlier than planned,

but she's much happier at the new site. So she was able to leave without leaving the company, which is really cool. The guy who sent the apology, so we're getting some background now. The guy who sent the apology was the plant manager, and he would make jokes comments all the time that were either borderline or de facto homophobic, sexist, stereotypical, fatphobic, etc. He joke about bulimia, teachers being so hot nowadays, said, no wonder boys can't pay attention in school these days. Ew. Yeah, I know, right? So, God, the red pill guys are hating this episode. This is the most pink-pilled episode we've ever done, everybody. Oh, God, this is so gay, bro.

You fuck a punkish geek. So, call women in the office girl and shoddy. I've always felt like he was a bit of a two-faced little bitch, but whatever. That was her words, not mine. The other reason I left was because of my direct report who treated me like I didn't know anything. Like I didn't have a degree and only gave me menial. labor like documentation data entry, which by the way, I don't mind those tasks, but when it's all you do and you're a mechanical engineer. So that's, you know, you got the background.

And so he changed deadlines on me. They had many conversations that you needed structure. Anyway, so she hated going to work and it was absolutely awful. And the straw that broke the camel's back was that he told our plant man. that I was unstable. This is, this is the other. So I was so angry.

I'm sure that he said this sometime after our conversation when I was, when I could, and I got mixed up because I took pictures of it. So in the exit interview, when she told her HR

and her direct report, they all acted super shock because things were better because it hadn't been reported. So the HR asked about her experience in the thing, and that's when she talked about the company,

culture. And so she did hear through her program director that he got chewed out for letting me switch locations. But I don't know by whom. We'll report back if I find out, though. It's a lot of information. I probably should have just read it direct. But anyway, that's the update. Did she say anything about, because I think that what I had an issue with and what this person calling back in had an issue with was HR telling, or like him finding out it was her. Yes. Did she say anything about that? Let me just double check on that. So my reading was a bit poor, but I was getting mixed up between photos. The context is good.

Because now we hate this guy even more. So, yeah, she didn't get any other follow-up. So we don't know. We don't know. Damn. Oh, but you know what it was? She shared it with the program director, too, so it could have came from numerous sources. Yeah.

But we felt like the apology email that he sent was forced. made by, I thought that, HR made him do that. Now I'm just left with more questions. Sorry, I left you with more questions. Anyway, we, uh, she, she's in the Spotify comments if you have any more questions. Please tag me directly. I'll, I'll send you her Instagram privately, Nicole. And you can continue.

But we had one, we had one more report, which actually was directed at you, Nicole. Oh, no. Hi, Desmond, Nicole. I'm listening to the advice episode where you're talking about wedding registries, and I just had to call in because Nicole, I a thousand percent agree with you. If you've lived together before the wedding, why are you putting mixing bowls, hand towels? As somebody who got married and lived with my husband before we got married and did that, I will tell you the reason why. Because my mom's friends wanted to get us something or my grandmother or her friends. and it is not proper etiquette to them to ask for money.

They'd rather get you a gift. So yes, we have the mixing bowls, but if my mom's friend wants to buy me some and is not going to donate to the honeymoon fund, I'm going to put a nice set of mixing bowls so that I can get them. But 100% agree. It's very excessive. It's very stressful.

So glad that I'm done with that and never have to have a recipe again. Yeah. I just feel like it's a generational difference, so I understand that. They feel like it's bad to not bring something, you know, to not give you like a real gift. But, you know, times have changed. And honestly, like, that stuff is just so easy to get now, you know? It's like, I'm going to get it delivered right to my door. You know, so like, it's just not necessary.

But anyway, wedding gifts, that'll come up again. So thanks everybody for your responses. I really like the bit of the follow-up. So today's prompt, which is nice and cute, honestly, came in from a dialer, and she said, you know, how about a prompt about what niche collections people have? And honestly, I ran it by Hannah because I was like, is this, do you think people are going to message you in? We got a lot. A lot of people collecting stuff.

And we got some pretty wild ones, too. So let's try to go to a lot of these quickly. Because I, you know, I don't, I don't know how much I can add, but let's see how we, let's see how we go. Dealers choice, Nicole. There seems to be a lot of animal ones, so I might do all of those first. Okay. The thing about the animal ones is they're fucking, it's, you'll see what I mean.

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instructions to get your perfect impression. Remi crafts and ships you your custom fit night card, get your night guide back, and start protecting your teeth. So, protect your teeth with Remy by using code burn to get 50% off your new night card with Remy Club, subscribe, and save. That's a 50% off at ShopR-E-M-I-S-R-E-M-M-I-S-R-E-M-com slash burn with. With Code Burn, thank you, Remi, for sponsoring this episode. Hi, Des and Hannah. A niche thing that I collect is animal bones when I'm out hiking in the desert and I find a cool bone or a skull or a vertebrae. I got to take it home.

Some of them are definitely outside bones. They live outside because they're kind of gross. But we definitely have some indoor bones too. but I think it's really cool. Okay, bye. I just, I mean, I think it's really cool that she does this. But I also just like, I don't know. I guess because I just associate bones with Halloween.

Like, it's just, I mean, what's an inside, like, what's an inside phone? Inside versus outside bones. Yeah, like what? An outside bone, what? There's like still some, like, still a whiff off it? You know, like, what's, and like, is there, is there like a taxidermy type process, like, for making a bone? Like, like, do people like shellac, like a very sort of like well-preserved bone?

Can you like, can you do that? Can you shalak a bone? Does the younger generation even know what shalacking is? I feel like, I feel like I used to heard the, I used to hear the word shalak a lot more back of the day. My dad was always like, we got to get the floor shalacked. I got a shalack. Are we still shalacking? I think also like that generation, or like even my dad's generation, Shalak was like talking about beating someone up as well. Oh, right. Oh, gave me a shalacking. 100%. Yeah. Oh, do you know what I said today? And I was like, what? I said, Spandulik's for money.

Spondulik's. Yeah, so she was like, what? I know, because this is like, this is like a, this is like thing in our relationship. Obviously, you know, it's come up. There's a message about it. So, uh, I was like, God, is that just one that I made up? You know, sometimes you don't even know. You're like, is this just a dumb one that I made of? So then, because that is always like, you speak like, like an ancient person. You know, I look it up. I look it up and it says, oh, a very common 19th century American slang that has fallen out of use, but it's not, you know, it's not totally gone from usage. Some people use it as a kind of a retro slang. But I don't, I like, it's a very in my lexicon. And I don't, I don't know who the hell put it in there. But, uh, but, uh, but in my mind, I was saying spanduligs with a G, but actually it turns out it's originally was spondulix. But then some people say spond, like I do. And then I guess the G was just my own alliteration. But, uh, anyway, Um, that, that was all from shalacking.

But what I'm saying is, is there, is there like, is there, is there, is there a process for, for bones? Like a preservation to have them in your house. I don't know. Um, but anyway, thank you, Diler. Let's do a few more animal ones before I talk too much about bones. Hi. So I collect my cat whiskers that fall out. So I know, like, a lot of my friends think this is pretty weird, but my sister is cats and she does the same thing.

And it's just, like, a cute little thing. I have, like, a little mini, mini vase. And I just put them in there when I see that they fall out. And I don't know. I'm just thinking ahead for, like, I don't know. Someday I might want to, like, put them in, like, a necklace or something. I know some people do that or, like, art pieces or something. But, I don't know.

I think it's, like, a sweet little thing. It's kind of like when you're like parents like keep your teeth or something creepy when you're a lot sweeter. And they're my angels. So yeah. Thanks. Yeah. I like that. I thought this one was very cute actually because I was thinking it's like, yeah, you have like babies first hair cut.

You know, you keep that kind of stuff. But I was just thinking like I've never once noticed like butter's whisker. That's the one thing I couldn't. figure out was like she must have like uh like dark floors or something have you have you well you're a dog person but like i've never really noticed like a whisker well that was my first thought is like how it seems like they'd be really hard to find because they're like translucent but it was actually because i didn't read it all the way through is it there's like a sadness to it which is this is the this is the inherent that this is like the unwritten thing and the contract of pet ownership is that like

more than likely you're saying goodbye to this pet. And it sucks. I mean, it's worth it, right? The pain is worth it for all the years of happiness, but the pain is awful. But she's kind of doing this. There's like a hint of her knowing that that day will come. And she's thinking about like how this will be like a nicer memory than an urn of ashes, right?

And I mean, the dialers know, I like to make it about death. But it is quite sweet. No, but it is quite sweet to think that she could make something. Maybe she wasn't thinking about the. end. Maybe she was just thinking, oh, I made something out of my cat's whiskers. But like, it's a sweetness to it, actually, when you think about just like something, having a bit more meaning or a bit more connection for you. So great. When I put out this prompt, a lot of this animal stuff was miles away from what I was expecting. Is there another, is there another animal one?

Yeah, there's a handful here. Hey, Bez. I'm just going to let you know, one of the weird things. I collect as a dog groomer is overgrown toenails, and I put them in like a little jar. That was a little gestion from my friend Ginger. So, yeah, if your dog comes in with embarrassingly long nails, I saved them, and I put them in a jar of shame. All right, bye. Well, I guess a jar of shame is kind of funny. But, and I, I feel like she puts them in a jar.

Is she like looking at them? That I can't tell. I mean, the jar of shame kind of makes it funny. But it's also kind of disgusting. Like I think, do you think some people are going to have been like grossed out or dog nails are not as disgusting as human nails? It feels like, yeah, you're right. I feel like this feels like it would be on display for others to be like, this is a jar of shame. You need to be keeping up with your dog's nails.

But I also, like, am wondering, would you feel creeped out by this if this was your pet? Yeah. And you're like, you kept my dog's toenails. But I have to be honest, if I was a dog groomer, I would, like, be praying that a dog came in with, like, really long nails. Because, like, even... It's hard. Yeah, but have you ever not, like, have you ever, like, not been on top of your toenails and they get really long? Like, when you...

Cutting a long one is... so satisfying. No? Do you not have that? You never let them get long? Well, definitely with my dog, not with my own. Right. But yeah, for sure. But cutting the dog's nails is tough. And also, I will say, send a picture of this jar, text it to the Google number so that it's going to look at it. Does the Google number get picks? I don't even know this. Yeah, it has to. Oh, God. Oh, God. Well, now I'm going to get fucking weird dick pics and shit and animal. I don't need any dead. animals or live penises, thank you. So does anybody do this out there in Diler World?

Like, you deliberately like let your nails grow a little longer before you go for a pedicure. Does anybody do that? Because like, I've had a couple of times where I'm annoyed at myself that I cut my toenails, but then I end up with like free time and I could go get a pedicure. And I'm like, fuck, man. What a way, you know? Do you ever do that?

Do you ever just like let him grow? Yeah, I like sometimes wait too long before like in between pedicures and I get too mad and I have to cut it myself. But I like, oh, so you're a regular pedicure for the most part. Yeah, but I do also like my feet are so fucked up from sports like years of sports and I get ingrownails and stuff. So like if I'm doing it myself, it's just making it worse usually. So I need intervention for that. Oh, so here's a question. Do you get like, do you get like reactions from them to your feet? Have you ever? Have they ever back? No. I'm curious because, like, I, I feel like some people's feet, they must have to really stop themselves being like, whoa.

Totally. I think I'd go enough that, like, it never gets to that point where they're like, this is disgusting. But I would never know. Yes. Well, I could take, go with me to a Chinese place and we'll, I'll let, I'll let you know what they've been saying about you the whole time. They'd be like, oh, here comes soccer feet.

Oh, what a good skill. What a good skill. Yeah, we can go. get pedicures and read yesterday year together. Yeah, exactly. All right, from now on, it's dealer's choice. Let it rip. Whatever you feel like, whatever you feel like doing.

Hi, Des and Nicole. I am just calling in about niche things that I collect. And I, since I was young, have always collected troll balls, like those wrinkly, tiny figurines with the long, colorful hair. I don't know why. I used to be obsessed with them as a kid. I hated Barbies. So I think my grandma just started giving me troll dolls.

And I ended up just collecting them. And I love them. And I think they're so cute. I don't know if that's normal. If anyone else collects those. So if anyone else does, we should combine our collection together. But, yeah, troll dolls. Very cute.

I mean, first of all, if we can unite the troll doll collecting community, I would guarantee that there's, people that are into troll dolls, you know? That would be my, that would be my personal thought. I think that's a cute one to collect. Like, I'm not into collecting that kind of stuff, but like, if I went to somebody's house and they were like, I collect troll dolls, I would take some time to admire the different trolls because for me, it's also quite nostalgic.

Now, did you guys have the troll dolls on the top of the pencil that you could, that you could spin and make their hair? Yeah. They are troll dolls too, right? I think so, yeah. They have like a franchise of troll doll things. Is this the same family? By the way, where are pencils at these days?

Because I need I need the teachers. What's up with pencils? We're like, are we still using pencils? You know? Just because of the troll doll thing that I was thinking about back in the day, you had a pencil with the eraser on it, great. And then the Irish call it a rubber, which was obviously hilarious when I moved to Ireland first.

but they didn't get the humor, but anyway. So, but then do you remember that you had the eraser that you could put on the pencil, the bigger one that was like a dot, like a triangle? But like they kind of sucked because they always fell off. That was like bad engineering. Like, like, is that shit still out there? See, this is the problem getting my age. This is the problem getting to my age and not having a kid is I don't, you know, I don't know.

You know? And by the way, here's something else I learned today on TikTok. So there was just like, I guess person like somewhat close to my age was saying that their daughter said that, you know, when the Gen Zs do the finger thing, that it means, oh, it means clock it. And she was like, I was in the impression it just mean like small, you know, small finger clap, like a clap. And I have to say, I thought that too. And she was like, well, they said, no, it means clock it. But then when you realize that's what clock it means. It's just a new way of saying like, yeah, love that.

Like, that's what Clocket is. Right? Am I wrong? Yeah, but I, I sort of feel like Clockett can be positive or negative, like that, doing that can be, like, positive or negative perhaps. Really? I don't know. I feel like it has so many layers to it in such a small gesture. But I am going to make a GIF out of you doing this.

Oh. Am I doing it right? Am I doing it? Yeah, you're killing it. You're killing it. Well, because Bella, you know, who's my cousin, but she's more like my niece. And she's the star of my period sex routine, which sounds inappropriate, but it's not if you watch it. But she does that naturally, like a lot.

You know, because, like, we have these, like, intense conversations when we're together. And, like, if I make a point, she agrees with, she'll always, she'll be like, yeah, yes. And, but she does, like, she does that without thought, you know? Like, I can only do that ironically. But she just, she thoughtlessly does that like all the time. So were you ever like, what is that? What are you doing? I never said like, what is it?

Because, because I just assumed that I knew. I didn't know what being clocked, but I just, you know, like I just, I made an assumption, you know? But, you know. You can use context clues if you're like, yeah, I just killed the point I was making. Like, I crush that. And someone does that to you. But I didn't, I didn't know it could be negative, you know. Yeah, I guess I'll have to, like, find an example.

Also, like, are these younger, are these youngens? Are they still clapping? What are the kids doing? Are young comics in Brooklyn fucking feeling like they're dying on their ass when they're when they're killing it when all these kids fucking hitting the fingers? I know I'm kidding, obviously. And it's probably like a boomer joke. But at the same time, like, we're not losing clapping, right?

Clapping is still going strong. Are we still clapping? I hope so. Anyway, let's take another. This is ridiculous. Neathe things that I collect, rosary beads. My aunt was donating to a church, and they would send rosary beads, like, once a month. And I thought they were so pretty as a kid, so I started to take them.

And now every time I go travel to a different country, I get some. I think I even have, like, a 10-foot. rosary bead that we just offered in a store in Spain. They weren't for sale, but they sold them. So yeah, rosary beads. Yeah, this one actually, I love this one only because, you know, my grandmother, God rest her soul, she wasn't overabundant with the cash. And for our communion, all of us, she had 17 grandchildren.

For our communion, we all got a set of rosary beads, which I just thought it was so, it was so cute, you know? Just like, and then I kept those rosary beads like my entire childhood. It's like those were nanny's rosary beads. And I don't think I ever electively said a decade of the rosary. I mean, I said a decade of the rosary

when I was forced to like in school or like, you know, at a time where you're supposed to say a decade of the rosary. But I think rosary beads, whether you're religious or not, not a bad thing to collect. It's a fun sort of religious relic that I could see.

And like some of them were cheap like plasticy ones, but some of them were quite fancy. You know, I guess some people do wear rosary beads around their necks. But I feel like when somebody wears like some sort of like Buddhist kind of like prayer bracelet or something, I feel like people like, oh, that's cool. Whereas I feel like if you're wearing like rosary beads, nobody goes like, oh, cool. Right? But it's the same thing. They're like, what are you scared of? of like, why are you wearing that?

Yeah. What are you trying to fend dogs? Something's following you. What demon are you worried about showing? Anyway, a good collector's item. Let's get a few more. Okay. So I don't always collect these things and I eventually get rid of them.

But I have, like if I'm in need of emotional support, I find myself collecting like the little messages on the inside of the dove chocolates or even like fortune cookie messages. And so then it'll be like, I literally just had like 20 of them that I kept and I was reading them like every day. It was like of the dove messages. It's like, honor your dreams and they will honor you. manifest it and make it happen or something like that. And look at how far you've come and all of that to like try to get me feeling better about finding a job. And like, you know, surviving a relationship that has actually been completely and totally amazing, but sometimes I feel insecure.

So, yeah, I eventually throw them away, but I will have like a stack of 20 before I get to that point. And I think what it is, I just need emotional support. Yeah, it's cheaper than therapy. That's what I say. I didn't realize Dove does a message. They do. Like, those, that one really stands out for me because I crush, like, a bag of those in one sitting. because they're just, they're like the dove promises,

the little like square ones, you know those ones? No, so, they're called. So it's just one piece of chocolate. It's little single pieces of chocolate. In a wrapper.

Yes. And it, it has a message on the inside, like similar to a snapple cap. But I think if I remember correctly, these quotes also will be like, from a random woman in like Utah. Like, it'll be signed off like Kara from Utah.

And it's like, whose mom like said this and like thought it was an original quote. Yes. And it is. like kind of shitty when you're crushing a bag of chocolate to be getting these like inspirational messages while you're like opening them up. Seize the day. Yeah, when the beginning of this process was like, fuck it.

Fuck it. I'm having another one of these chocolates. That is a great comedian called Eleanor Tiernan. And I don't think she'll mind me sharing the joke because it's from a very long time ago, this joke. But she said, people always say, how do you know you're an alcoholic? And she said, if every time, if what you have to say to yourself before you take a drink is, fuck this.

You know that it's probably a problem. But anyway, yeah, I think it's kind of cute actually saving all that stuff. And fortune cookies. I mean, so Hannah said that this is sacrilegious, but like these days, like, I don't even read the fortune. I just like, I enjoy, no, I enjoy a fortune cookie, but like I don't, I don't, I'm such a, I'm such a cynic that, uh, I don't even read the fortune. And then like Hannah will grab my fortune. I'm like, you have to read it, you know, but actually, just that a curious, because I know I looked it up before and I've, I've, I've forgotten. What's the history behind the fortune cookie? What's the, is it like a weird Americanization of some strange Chinese thing or is it actually like something that came directly from China? Because you know, the way some of these things. What are you getting? Yeah. So it was, it evolved from Japanese fortune crackers and then was popularized by the U.S. by Japanese immigrants before being adopted by Chinese restaurants. But this is like, for sure, an American invention. But it is like pulled from some

small piece of culture, I guess. But from Japan? Oh my God. Controversial. This is like when Irish people find out that like something they love has an English origin. It's just heavy. Because that's one thing, you know, the one thing I didn't realize when I, until I moved to China was the, you know, there's some, there's some enmity between the old Japanese and the Chinese. So, uh, oh, wow, so Japanese. So that's interesting. Yeah. So, listen, I, I think this is so cute, especially when, you know, here's the thing. Every now and then, you just a little bit of wisdom. Like we had the life hack, which was a, like, that's like a, like a hardcore bit of wisdom. comes your way. Doesn't matter if it's in a dove packet from a fortune cookie or, you know,

something you hear from a friend, or even like something from Tony Robbins, you know, even the charlatans can bring with them something that you can hold on to. So anyway, another great, another great one. Let's get, let's keep running through them. Hello, Des Bryant. I am a fan of you and Hannah-Berner. But the one thing I collect, my sister-in-law and my niece and I collect are mixed metaphors. So, for instance, if somebody on television or somebody in our law says, aren't you a sight for four eyes instead of sore eyes, or I'm so tired, I'm going to go home and kick off my feet and relax, we have a whole list of them. Have a great day. You guys are hilarious.

Well, I want more. I wanted more. Aren't you a Cipher 4? I was just cute. Actually, I'm going to kick off my shoes, right? Did she kick off my feet? Yeah. Okay, do you want to hear some more?

Oh, right. I didn't realize they were this easily findable. Okay. I don't think I've ever heard anyone say this. We'll burn that bridge when we get to it. That seems aggressive. I know plenty of people that literally do that. it's like it's like you know this guy is gonna fuck this up with his attitude uh we'll burn that bridge

when we get to it okay uh that's a good one hit the nail on the nose i know because i i i've seen you know there's a couple of uh circus performers that do the nail nail in the nose thing other than them go okay hit me what what were you going to say i don't know what i don't know how they not to someone saying the Yeah, because like some of them are, like, this sounds like it was, it's completely made up. But, uh, this is hardly rocket surgery. Like, I can't imagine a human saying that. Yeah.

Although I know I've gotten, I've gotten them wrong, you know, but I didn't realize there was so many. I didn't even think about that. See, this is the great thing. A niche prompt brings up some. Some wonderful nicheness. I feel like there was something else I wanted to bring up there. But anyway, it's fine. Let's take a few more.

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Visit cash.app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. I'm dying at your voicemail recording. Hey guys, so I don't know if this counts as a niche collectible item, but I like to go on walks in my neighborhood, particularly like in the fall. end of summer, when things are kind of done, like flowers specifically are done blooming. And I will take the seed pods from the flowers that have now, like, just gone away for the season. And I keep a seed collection for the flower garden I will eventually plant once my backyard is finished and looking nice. So, yeah, I steal my neighbors' seed pods from their plants so that I can also have pretty flowers eventually. I mean, honestly, I think this is like ingenious.

No? I feel like why would you like not want to sort of like, because the flowers are, they're sending it. It's not like you're affecting their garden, right? like next year they're still going to get those flowers, right? So I feel like this is kind of like ingenious. I mean, I would feel like you could even like say to your neighbor like, hey, I've been taking your seed pods. But anyway, this isn't exactly what I meant about collectibles, but this is like, this is kind of, I think maybe the most benevolent type of theft I've ever heard in my life. I really want to know more about if it affects your neighbor's garden, though, but a great.

suggestion. Actually, funny enough, because she was talking about the message. I think there's actually a prompt with somebody talking about the phone number. Can we, can we have that? Because I feel like it's instilled some anxiety. Desmond Bishop, I'm nervous. Why is this a phone number and not a link? I don't know what I'm going to say, but I just saw this and I'm like, where the heck is the link to say something? And you're changing everything. But it's okay. Can you do it a great job? I love the podcast. I just want to say hi, and that you're doing a great job. But now I'm nervous, and I'm getting really sweaty because this is a voicemail.

And I hate living voicemails because I do it at my job. Okay. I don't know how long I'm supposed to speak. But yeah, I'm nervous. Thank you. So just in case you're out there and you're feeling freaked out about the number, you're not on your own. I will say that it feels like I'm changing the link deliberately, but actually I had no choice. I know that Hannah left.

I know there's been a lot of changes. I know you guys have been going through a lot of change. But this change actually was like a necessary change. So just in case it feels like I'm like the new CEO coming in. It's like everything's changing. It's not. The number is in necessity. Now I remember what I was going to say.

The previous dialer called me Des Bryant. And years ago at the comedy seller, Mike Yard, great comedian. And he hosted the seller. Accidentally, he was like, ladies and gentlemen, who's what I was saying? Des Bryant. And then I got on stage you. I was like, you called me Des Bryant. He was like, oh shit. He didn't even realize that he had done it.

So I was like, yes, I'm not a Dallas Cowboys wide receiver. I'm Des Bishop. But anyway, easy mistake to make, but I know she was saying it jokingly. So I hope, I feel like there's something kind of nostalgic about calling the number. And I will say that the audio, I think we can all agree, the audio from the Talby was maybe like a touch more. Like, I feel like the Telby used to do something. These feel more like phone calls coming in, right? Yeah, the Telby for some reason would sometimes be like cracking and popping and have some like weird stuff going on. And the pro and a con to the Google number is I think the limit is three minutes.

Oh, is it? As opposed to Telby, I think was a minute or less. Tellby was a minute. Yeah. I think for Google you can go up to three. Right. So we're going to get some, we're going to get some essays. We're going to get some TED talks.

Well, that's fine. There have been times where I have been upset with the lack of time for a message. So, and sometimes on the tell me, people they were like, this is part two of my message. And I very rarely did the part two. So this is going to work out better. But anyway, just so you know, the change in this case was necessary. All right. Let's take a few more before we wrap it up.

This is my first time calling in. This is so exciting. I love collecting matchboxes. I love going to the restaurants that have the three little matchboxes there for you to take. It makes my night, and it's re-gulted in. I have like 700 Google reviews for restaurants because I'm just like constantly going out to dinner in hope to the free matchbox. I love it. I have a little displayboard for them, and I buy them too, of course, at like markets and finding them fun places.

but they're just little and it's convenient and they fit in your purse and you can forget about it until you get home. I love it. Yeah, so I was actually surprised very recently. After my special recording, I had dinner at the Manetta Tavern, beautiful, old school, proper, like New York restaurant. And then at the end, she gave me some matchboxes when I was leaving, sorry, the host. And I was like, why give it? Like, I didn't even realize that was still a thing, you know? And I always feel like then, unless you have a fireplace, like, what are you going to do with these matchbox?

But you collect them, which is cool. But like, does anyone use matches anymore? You don't use it for, like, candles or anything like that? If you got it. If I'm going to light a candle, I use a lighter. I actually don't like the smell of matches. Is this sacrilegious? You see, you know what it is?

It's my generation. And I'm sure you've heard people talk about this. But my parents used to light a match and throw it in the fucking bathroom to cover the smell of shit and then you just ended up with like an annoying, like an annoying smell of sulfur, you know, from the, from the match. So, yeah, maybe it's because I hated my parents smoking so much. I actually have like, I have like an aversion to matches. And like when I still see the match boxes, at least they look a little bit elegant.

But when I see the old school, like the cardboardy, like, what do you call that a match book? Is that what we call it? When I see them, I'm like, ugh, just the most, I just, I really honestly, it gives me whatever the Gen Xers call the ick. The hebe-jeebies, PTSD. PTSD being the ick is so funny. Yeah.

Well, I just realized that actually I have so much anxiety now. If I would have started my new rap name, because like when I was younger, I used to call myself Desi B. but I think my new rap name now would be PTSD. That's my PTSD. PTSD. PTSD, talk about your trauma.

Yeah, that feels like you would be in like a rap group. And everybody would have kind of like themed names around it. Yeah, yeah. So the group is called, the group is called, the group is called therapy session. No, no. The group is called. Sesh. Sesh.

therapy says. Yeah, the group is called, well, the group, the group going into group is real like rehab thing. But I can't think of a funny one for the group, but my, my rap name in the group is PTSD DESE. And PTSD nice. So, anyway, let's take one more before we wrap it up. Okay. I just called and tried to leave a message. And I did. didn't like my recording, so I tried to hang up, and it probably sounds hilarious because I was just pressing buttons and stuff. Anyway, hey, Des, I'm calling to leave a message about the prompts of collecting things. So I have a collection of every single wine cork and champagne cork that I've ever had in my entire adult life, and then also, like, beer bottle tops. So that sounds a little bit

crazy, but they look really cool. They look kind of elegant when I put them. I have this big giant glass base that stands like four feet tall from the ground. I saw it once in a restaurant and I thought it looks so cool. But now I'm just kind of disgusted with myself because this collection has been going on for several years and I'm seeing just how terrible my drinking habits have been over the years. But at the same time, I have been traveling. You know, I've been to several countries and I've moved around a lot. So I have a lot of really cool, unique bottle tops and wine corks from places all over the world. So I like the collection, but at the same time, I'm feeling like a raging alcoholic and a gluttonous, disgusting pig.

So, yeah, I'm curious to know if anybody else collects their wine corks tops and their beer bottle tops. What do you think? Bye. Well, I mean, first of all, having a monument to your debauchery is a beautiful thing. I mean, I, you know, we have a long lives, you know, so when you really think about it, it's probably not that much. But I think it's a cool, I think it's a cool idea because you have, like, a fun display and then you can tell people what it is. But what I will see is Hannah went through this phase. Now, we don't, like, I don't drink at all, and Hannah's not a big drinker. So she, like, she ordered like, like a thousand corks and went through this phase early on in our relationship where she wanted to like make homemade like stuff to hang up around the house.

And she made like one small thing. And then we just ended up with like a big bucket of corks. And I think they're still there. I think we just have this like bucket of corks. And like every now and then, I'll have like a small use for something like that. And I'll be like, oh, that's handy. We have a bucket of corks. But for the rest of it, it's just an homage to one of Hannah's like little hobby moments.

Like last year, she said she wanted to be a painter. So I got a really cool paint set for her birthday. And she hasn't painted a single thing. And the easel sits there. And it's like, it was a good present. But, you know, by the way, I'm not being critical because I, trust me, my life is littered with, remnants of a supposed hobby that was supposed to happen. Guitars, saxophones, you know, whatever, any number of writing pads for the things that I was

going to write. My word documents for books that I was going to write, like great opening paragraphs and nothing else to wonderful ideas of books. So I'm not being critical of Hannah. I'm just saying, like, it can happen. But in this case, great collection. I think there's probably a lot of people, a lot of people, the beer bottle ones.

So here's my thing, though, is like, there's going to come a time where you're going to be sick of it, and that's going to be a hard one to, like, let go of. I feel like that's something that's not going to get thrown out. It's just going to be put somewhere, storage, but out of view. But for now, we support you,

a great niche collection. Are there any of that are jumping out at you before we go in a call? Hey, Des, love you. Love the pod, love Hannah. all the pods, you know, Bishop Exchange, Gaglia squad, yeah. I had to call in as a few follow-ups, since I know you're asking for them. One of them is that baptism of fire, I might even say baptism by fire, totally know what that means, and I am 32, so I definitely think that is a fairly common saying.

but I also wanted to follow up on the episode a few weeks back when you were talking about, you got and talked a lot about Irish Catholicism, and I was raised Catholic, my parents were born and raised in the Bronx, and so, you know, Irish Catholic, and I did not know that it was so different from American Catholics, and everything you said was so freaking relatable. as far as blessing yourself over everything, blessing yourself when you pass a church, a cemetery, an ambulance.

Like, it's like it's truly OCD. You know, I still believe in Jesus, but by no means at all, on my Catholic. And I just thought it was so funny and interesting that you kind of pointed it all to OCD because I couldn't agree more. I think that, like, everything they do.

I mean, think about, like, the rosary. like when you're getting through that you're like hell Mary, holy grace, the Lord is with me and you're just like trying to get through it and you're like okay I did it once did it twice like crazy so all your points are so accurate love your fans on everything yeah love you just had to follow up I hope this gets to you bye oh there you go

yeah I mean listen niche Irish Catholicism I made a whole career out of it that's the things in Ireland I could talk about this like I'm talking about the difference stream men and women but in America it's niche Actually, she said something there. Why has it gone out of my head? Oh, because when we were talking about the rosary earlier,

I was thinking about this that like, so all the sort of, in all the religions, and I know some people were complaining there's a lot of religious chat, but this is just going to be a general thing. It's not going to be like deep religious thing. But it seems that a lot of the religions have some sort of sense of like mantra or repetition, you know,

and that there's some sort of, there's some sort of benefit to the sort of the routine, almost like a hypnotic thing where you can sort of, it gets you maybe away from your thoughts and maybe helps you to connect with something deeper, which I think, you know, there's elements of that that would be true. And the rosary, for those that don't know, for the non-Catholics, right, the rosary is like a collection of prayers.

So you say 10 Hail Mary's and then one our father, I believe, right? And then the rosary itself, the rosary itself guides you in that, right? And a decade of the rosary is the 10 Hail Marys, right? And then you say in Our Father and then you go on to the next one, I think, right? And then the last thing, the last part of the rosary is like something else. What a, this is embarrassing that. Well, I don't know if this is right, because this feels like a lot and I don't remember this. It's a lot.

53 Hail Marys, six Our Father's. Glory B's, one Apostles Creed, and one Hail Holy Queen? Yeah, basically. Is that like a specific? That seems like so many. Well, no, but every decade of the rosary is 10. God. So I guess this five.

I think I was just given that for like communion and never used it, perhaps. Yeah. No, no, no. That to me is the right amount of prayers. I just couldn't, I knew there were certain prayers in it. You know, I just couldn't remember. But anyway. How long does that take you?

To say a full, like, because a lot of people say a decade of the rosary. To say a full rosary is a lot. It takes ages. So anyway, so the point I'm trying to make is that I understand there's this perhaps spiritual or even just like the science behind the repetition is that it gets you into like a state. So I'm very open to that. But my problem with the rosary is like she was saying, on the dialer was saying,

that you kind of just like end up in a situation where you're trying to get through it. Like, I've never said a decade. Okay, it's getting a little religious iPod. It's just the end of the pot. Okay. I've never said a decade of the rosary. That wasn't like, Hey, Mary for the Grace of Lotus with you,

bless out of that one, and bless it for a while. You know, like, you're literally like an auctioner. You know? And that wasn't the point of the rosary. So I would say that they, that maybe updating the rosary. Of course, I'll be hung.

I'll be strung up trying to say you need to update it. But for it to have like a bit more like, you know, like Buddhism got like some good PR throughout the 70s and 80s, 60s, 70s and 80s. Buddhism to people's like cool, Catholicism isn't. I feel like the rosary, if they could like find a way to make it seem a bit more like modern spiritual, I feel like the rosary could bring some people back. But they got to they got to innovate. But again, I know that people will think that's sacrilegious. But I'm just saying, I feel like the rosary has a chance to have a major comeback.

But they have to have it. It can't be like trying to race through the decades, right? We've got to figure something out. I'm not going to say, I don't want to offend anybody. Anyway, needless to say, love the feedback, guys. We love it. Obviously, we see it in the Spotify comments. I see it in my DMs.

But, you know, to put a voice to some feedback is great. So never be afraid. The phone number, as we said, is 917. Oh, damn, I lost it. I got to go. I'm the worst. I'm the worst. Okay, so here we go.

The phone number is 911, 512-1-7-5-8. I said 9-1-7-5-8. 9-1-7-5-8. 9-1-7-1-2. 1-7-8. now in Chinese first Primerido

Dos What is it? To I Qi Woh E Doe I was in

fucking Chinese Spanish I My brain switched to Spanish Let me get Because that's what

I'm worried about learning Spanish My fucking brain is going to get all fucking confused

Okay So I chi Wi or Eich Wai So give us a call hell

yeah to call to call. Far a short in my Instagram

or anyway leave a message and thanks oh yeah is there any I feel like there was something

that I wanted to say need this to say anyway we're back we'll be here every week oh yeah

and I hope you enjoyed the bonus episode and don't forget we're reading yesterday year for the

book club in July so have a read I think you can enjoy it I think everyone's going to enjoy this one. I feel like it's the vibe of the dialers, you know? So we'll talk to you guys next week.

Thanks. Bye.