Berner Phone - Nikki Glaser: Feminine Energy & Disordered Eating

Episode Date: November 5, 2020

Nikki was with her parents in St. Louis for most of quarantine where she was stuck with her own thoughts. She's recovering from an eating disorder, figuring out her dating life, and reassessing her stand up comedy career.Get tickets to Hannah's Friendsgiving comedy show on November 18th HERE--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I feel sexually satisfied from vibrators. I really do. Sometimes I watch the porn that I watch. I go, I don't even know if a guy can, like, satisfy me based on, like, what I want to happen to me from these porn. Like, I think it needs to be a party of men that has the same interracialness of the Dave Matthews band. Welcome to Burning Hell. Oh man, we're in hell. We're also in my first in-person interview I've done in forever.

Now, if you don't know who Nikki Glazer is, first of all, I'm sorry. Second of all, she is an incredible stand-up comedian. She's been on Sirius XM. She's been on Netflix. She's been on Comedy Central. She's had her own shows. She's been on Kimmel. She's been on Conan.

She's been everywhere. I don't even know how to act right now because I'm used to just being protected. did behind a screen. But this is vulnerability, people. I am sitting here and it is super, super, super hot because I am with the incredible Nikki Glazer. Hi, Hannah. I'm so happy to be here with you. It's been so fun. I mean, just hanging out with you before we even started pressing record. You're just like a dear friend that I don't get to see that often, and this is such a treat. Well, you're back. I rarely have people back to hell because most people don't survive the first hell. I sound like Donald Trump. I'm just like, no one's ever survived to hell before. It's the craziest.

podcast ever no you I don't know why that wasn't even a Donald Trump back that was not good but that's like okay it's okay like I like that you took took a swing if you commit to it and you're confident I barely noticed until you called it out and then I reflected on it and I was like that was maybe one of the worst I don't even I got mad at myself at first for not placing it and then I go oh wait it's a Trump I think and then you said it was bad and then I realize yes it was my new thing but the first time you went to hell was when like we first met we were like little babies and we were so excited to meet each other but it was the same vibe I'm sorry like I just knew some people I just know instantly that I love we know that and also we are very sexually attracted to each other

I'm glad it's mutual it is I thought about it I don't want to be with a brunette like I'm sick of myself I look at myself and up I want a blonde I want someone different I got to get my roots done that yes I got to touch these up yeah you want something You don't want the same as you. Yeah. You want, but, like, you are just, to me, like, one of the prettiest people ever. Oh, my God. And that's just, I, that is, I am so annoyed at girls telling each other that they're pretty, by the way. I have actually instated a rule with my close friends that they're not to comment on my looks, ever. If I look good or look, like, they're never going to say if I look bad.

But I just got tired of showing up to dinners in the first three minutes is like, you're, that's cute. You're skin, like, you look so great. You did say compliments to me tonight, so I don't want you to think that, like, I didn't love it. No, it's okay, because I can't help it. I'm star for them because I don't get them from my friends because I, I just was like, it made me, because when they wouldn't say it, I'd be like, I look like shit. And then it would make me, like, sad. Well, I do think that you save so much of your life if you take those three minutes away

every time you see your friends and be like, oh, my God, that purse is so cute. Oh, my God, is your hair, did you change the color? Yes. The time, the stuff you could do with those three minutes that you lose, You could, you should, you have like new businesses. What are you doing now with that time? It really adds up. All the time we spend on our looks, thinking about our looks, doing our looks is time wasted

that we could be doing meditating, listening to music, reading a book. I mean, things were actually working. I feel like as a female comic, you are very conscious of your looks. You're putting yourself on stage all the time. You're also known as kind of like a hot, sexy comic. So it's like almost a little pressure to be cute all the time. But quarantine hits. What was your self-care or, like, makeup rituals like?

It's interesting. I, well, I do want to say that when I go on stage, it's weird. Like, I do want to look very pretty when I'm doing, when I'm on, like, Conan's or the Fallons or, like, doing these TV appearances. But when I do stand up, like, I'm not trying. I forget that I'm a woman up there. Like, I don't try to be hot unless there's, like, a guy in the room that I'm trying to, like, seduce.

Like, there's another comic that I have a crush on. And then I try to stand up. a certain way and it like hurts my back and I can't think of my jokes. Yeah, that would fuck me up. But generally on stage, I totally forget like I'm a sexual being and I like forget to exude sexiness. But during COVID, man, it was so nice to get away from it and like to see my face again like the regular face and be like, oh, I'm not Guatemalan.

Like I had been kicking on these spray tans to the point that I thought my color, my skin color was a different color. Did you find you started to actually like get used to that? bare face and start to be comfortable with it more? Yes, I'm much more comfortable wearing, like now that I've started wearing makeup again, much less makeup. And yeah,

I just like got used to seeing my face again. But the problem is, is that I just look better with makeup. People like me more when I have makeup on. My dad was nicer to me when I had, I've been living with my parents for seven months. Hannah, I swear to God,

one day I put on makeup. This happened twice, actually, with my dad because I had to do some kind of like Zoom thing. And I put on a face of makeup and I went to the kitchen and my dad saw me. And just within a second was like, you look beautiful. And I'm like, it's makeup dad. Like, he thinks that like when people compliment you when we have makeup on, it doesn't feel good to me.

Because I'm like, you now you think I'm pretty. I like to think of it as it's me refined. It's a really nice way to look at it. It's me refined. And I probably should look at that way too. I'll put on mascara not to look pretty, but to be professional for situations. Yeah, that's good. I'm like this looks like I tried versus not.

So I try to not be like, this is me ugly, this is pretty. It's like, this is Hannah put together. Yes. But I'm still pretty just in a different way without it. Yeah. You got to just have a different perspective. Because when you look at it like, oh, I am unlovable like this, I'm lovable with mascara on, it just, it complicates things. So it's like, we're fine.

It's just a different version of yourself. But it sucks when you have validation that people are nicer to you and you get more things if you have makeup on. And we keep hearing. over and over it's what's on the inside that counts which ultimately that's what sustains a relationship because if you're trying to attract a man with your looks that's what he likes most about you eventually you're going to lose the thing he likes most about you I know that you're in showbiz so you know like straight up sometimes what people think is beautiful what's not but I think that it's just so biased like this the same way like I think a color is blue

and you think it might be aqua green I think that way that's similar with beauty I like I agree like you know how like you yeah we see colors differently you see people different like the way you see me other people see me differently it's just hard for me to grasp I know that's true we always just end up getting into fights about physical but it's fascinating because that's what I love most about you and love being around you is because you are one of the sexiest people I've ever met in my life and yet you don't try to be at all it's so funny because you see it in this endearing like effortless sexiness and other people would be like hand is a pig pen and she needs a chaperone and she's disgusting no one's ever said that about you except maybe you

to yourself but question you said it's interesting you said when you perform comedy you don't try to be sexy you're straight like joke mode i don't think about it it's not even like i'm not trying i get up there and sometimes i'm like oh wait like you are you forgot you're like like i don't want to be perceived as hot up there i don't want to be a sexual object no i don't want men to be like getting boners because then you're not hurt yes but the question is when you're you're going to date what do you do with that personality do you have two sides it's so that's the confusing part because I can't put that personality away but it's a very masculine energy and men are not most men aren't attracted to a woman on stage like screaming about her feelings it's just not a good

look I think that's also with me when I when I have my like effortless like messy prettiness with my messy personality it some people can think I'm very masculine and I've been called like on reality people have said like you're not feminine enough and stuff do you get worried about like you're too masculine because you are so funny yeah I think being being funny as a woman is a masculine energy thing to do to like have the confidence to get on stage and like scream about that doesn't mean like only men should be able to do that but that's like you know there's this book called getting to I do that I get obsessed with yeah I talked about a lot I only read a fourth of it so I don't know how it works but like my friends have read it and they're engaged

now because they read this book and they were hopelessly you're like she read it I did the cliff note she got married I went on a date yeah I wasn't ready I'm not ready for it I'm too scared of commitment like that I was reading it and was like this would work and it scared me and I don't want to do it because I'm scared of like finding someone what did it say it says you have to choose whether you're a masculine energy woman or feminine energy woman and that and no one wants to be a masculine energy woman is the thing you read the book and you're like I don't want to be a man because then you're attracted to because it's then you will then your perfect man is a feminine energy man and um feminine energy women are perfect matches for masculine energy men and that means if

you're a feminine energy woman which most are and most of the book is dedicated to talking about to those women you have to be like very sexy dress sexy demure don't talk too much helpless don't don't helpless uh share your feelings but never share what you think never ask a man what he feels only what he thinks oh my god neat i'm getting the hebi jibis right okay but if you adhere to these rules and actually stick to it you will get a guy so but never ever again if you're listening and you want to get a man to marry you i'm not joking you first look dress sexy all the time sun dresses just be very feminine like sandals yes sun dresses you're You have to wear sundresses even in the winter.

Yeah, there's, there's, you can't wear anything that's going to be functional and make you feel like good and comfortable. It can't be able to run fast in the shoe. No. Yeah, you got to be able to be caught very easily. And everything you wear must have like some kind of entry. There's always, everything's crotchless that you wear. And it will get Ben's attention.

It's like in clueless when she's like, you have to like remind them like, show your skin to remind them of having sex with you. So that's what the book says. it's like written by this like woman with a PhD who studied human behavior so dress sexual then once you get a man do not have sex with him until you get a commitment out of him so that's like the so i'm like so opposed to this i know but there is truth to some of it in that it's funny i just watched the borat movie and they took this they're trying to get one of the girls from kazakhstan who doesn't understand american culture to like get a guy and they get this random

influencer girl and she's like you have to be weak like just be weak and every way. And I heard them like, that is so funny because I'm just like, I envision myself just like a power ranger. Like I just want to beat shit up all the time. Yeah, you're a masculine energy one. I am masculine energy. However, this is my argument and I love that we're talking about this. When I'm in relationships, I am constantly tick-talking between feminine, extremely feminine energy and masculine energy. Like I will literally be totally submissive in bed, be so sexy, cute, cuddle, baby voice. Like, I don't know what to do. And then get a call from my manager and tell them to go,

to tell those people to go fuck themselves until they add a zero to it. Yeah. And then I'm like back in bed being like, I don't even know how to do laundry. I'm confused. And then like next thing you know, I'm like yelling at the TV because like the person, the tennis player like lost.

And I like so I am like constantly TikToking. Yes. And actually TikTok. Um, no, you're so right. Like I, but that's okay I think.

I think it's okay to. I didn't read the whole book. so I don't know if you could be both, but you got... I didn't get to that chapter. But then they have to switch roles. So then they have to go from being the feminine energy man to the masculine energy man when you switch. You guys can switch, but you got to switch together because you can't have too feminine and

you can't have too masculine. Because like I do agree, Nikki, that we could be the weak girl and get a guy. But would we like that guy? No. Because we are past the time where women just need a man to survive and take care of us that our you know our dad gave us to them yeah so now it's like it's not about getting men and you i think you're like this too if you were have if you just wanted a man you could have had one a long time ago you could have settled a bazillion times so it's like why do you think you're still single

i think i am single because i i don't i'm scared of like someone really loving me and i don't love myself enough to attract the right person so like how i where i am in my emotional development like I don't I'm not ready yet but like I'm I'm nearly there and you don't have to be totally ready like someone can help get you there and so I'm getting close it's just I haven't met the right person and I'm really super picky yeah I I have a really great life I I feel sexually satisfied from vibrators I really do and like I don't sometimes I watch the porn the porn that I watch I go I don't even know like if a guy can like satisfy me based on like what I want to happen to me from these porn Like, I think it needs to be a party of men that has the same interracialness of the Dave Matthews band.

That's not even the other thing. And they need to, like, I need, like, I don't know that I can sexually be satisfied by one. Like, I will get there, but I, but I'm okay without a man sexually. I would like a partnership. I would like comfort. I would like someone to, like, help me with my money and, like, do boy things and, like, take care of me and be a partner in things like I am looking for that and regular sex with a person would be nice but I don't need it I have lots of friends I love that you said I don't need it because

I think that's a point with me where once you realize you don't need it and you just kind of want it it's great because when you just want it then you still have this power of like yeah but if you walked away tomorrow I know I'd be fucking fine yeah and that's the energy I think it's not about female masculine energy it's the energy of secureness in yourself yes I really am reaching that point like it sucked over the pandemic to not be like coupled up it really sucked i was fucking lonely i didn't have sex for six months how lonely were you i was well i moved back in with my parents so i wasn't that lonely like i'm i thought ahead dude i was like when the covid went down i was in la and um like doing a bunch of tv that week and all it all started getting shut down i was with my parents

because i flew them out because they're big conan fans i was doing conan and so i brought them out there and it was a fun trip and I was just like I'm just going to go back with you guys to st. Louis because I don't want to go back to New York and I want to be alone this is about to get scary it was getting scary so I picked I made the right move because I don't like being alone I thought I did but when I do live alone I'm doing stand-up every single night I'm going out all day with friends doing podcasts doing radio I'm not going to be good like quarantining alone it would be bad so I didn't I didn't do it. My question is your identity is stand-up.

You've been doing it forever. Yeah. You are so incredibly successful. A lot of people see you and that's what they think. Suddenly you're fired because of COVID. What was your identity? You were actually one of the first people that I was like, is she okay? Oh my God.

Because you would message me, you'd be like, hey, like I could go on this riot date or I can do five sets, even though I've done five sets all week and you go, I'm doing five sets. Like, that was just you. Yeah. I use stand-up as a way to make myself so busy that I couldn't let anyone in. For sure. Like, I can go on dates. Your own thoughts either. Exactly.

Like, if I was home, it was because I was washing my face and getting into bed and putting on ASMR videos so I don't have to think, even when I'm in bed alone. I mean, even going from club to club, you always have a friend with you to talk shit. I'm never alone with my thoughts. Yeah. I mean, I do meditate and did, but I was just always go, go, go, go. Or the thoughts you have, you're like, how do we make this funny? and make money off it.

Yeah, I was always like, yeah, I was always go, go, go. And so when stand up went away, because it is, it just filled my life, I was so happy because I needed a goddamn break. Like, it wasn't going to end well for me with the rate I was working. But also, you were hot, as I call it in, like, the industry. You were hot. You had, you just, everyone was talking to saying, you're not. name you had your specials out like you were hot so you did you feel pressure like i i need to take

advantage of this time no on i i i'm so proud that i can say no i don't i lost a lot of things in the pandemic and it was like to be my year like it was going to be like a great year and i got this really expensive apartment that i was like now i can afford this i'm going to treat myself right i'm going to like i got an assistant i was lining myself for all this um stuff but the year was also looking so insanely busy and overwhelming because when you start hitting that phase of your life where you just start getting asked to do so many things your comic brain of like I got to accept whatever I can get is still saying yes to too much and not enough people are telling you to say no to things and so I overbooked myself and I was like dreading my year like so much that I would cry

when I would talk about it would want anything and then suddenly you're like this is what I want wanted and I'm miserable yeah I was like exactly like I was I was not what I wanted and I when COVID hit it was like such a relief to stop and I am back to doing clubs and I like set away from stand up the reason I do stand up a lot of times was because I wanted to stay as good as everyone else who does it that much there's a lot of competition and stand up is about the only way to get good is to do it over and over and over so you say yes to every set and you're only as good as as many sets as you're putting in. And, I mean, the writing off stage, too, has to happen.

But I got away from writing off stage in the past, I'd say, five to seven years because I just got enough sets that I was like, I don't need to write. I can write on stage. Yeah. But that makes you a lazier comic. And the material's not as good. And so it was actually interesting to go back and listen to a set from January when I thought I was like killing it in theaters.

and I'm like, this is not good. Like, I was, I listened to my set of, like, at these theater shows I was doing, everyone had fun. I did, like, no one complained that I know of. And I was selling out. But to me, no, was not, I was not the comic I want to be. And I went back listening to them to remember what, because I was gearing up for shows in, like, August.

And I was like, let me go back to when I was great. And then I listened to it. And I was like, fuck, I'm not as good as I thought I was. step it up bitch what's also crazy is how it's clear how the grass is always greener and like everything is rolls colored glasses because if you didn't have that footage you'd be like it was so good before and now i'm like never going to get back to that place and you listen with a new brain and you're like wait you can all things are okay like the current where we are now is the best time yeah it it was uh it was i it was it was saddening because i was like shit i'm not as good as i

think i am but it's also like you know i've i can go back to other times would be like that was fucking killer you were great you were on fire get back there what were you doing before that oh i was writing more during the day i was looking at my sets afterwards i was planning setless i wasn't just walking on stage and winging it i wasn't i was going on stage and i literally wouldn't think us anything about my set before i stepped when i grabbed the mic i didn't ever plan anything niki you don't know it and i don't like it's not like official i didn't make you sign anything but like you're my comedy mentor like that's what i tell people that's so nice and i um i will welcome that early position before i was

even doing stand-up, when you invited me to go to the comedy cellar, which is, like, the top place in New York City to play, you let me in on, like, what it's like to be one of the best comedians in the country, and you let me just watch your sets and then just, like, roll around with you, eat dinner with you, and, like, I'm never going to forget those moments. Like, it really was incredible, and I just remember thinking, you'd be, like, eating a salad, talking shit, telling some, like, theory on something, and you go, oh, I got to go up. you would just go and I would watch your brain work and I was like I don't even know where she's coming up with these things and each set was different and I remember I didn't want to annoy you and be like a comedy nerd and be like how do you come up with your jokes but I was like wait did did you even think of what you were going to say and you were just like Hannah like I've been in the game for a long time like it's this is just what we do but you also are so in it that you were just like surviving and you were thriving but like it's great that you've stepped out for a second and And been able to be like, let's do even better.

Yeah, let's get back to, I can, I know I can work hard enough and be whatever I want to be when it comes to, like, comedy. Like, it's, I really can study and be great and write the best jokes and everything, but it takes work. And I got too lazy. I was just, like, smoking a lot of pot just to get by and not have anxiety. And I was like, I don't think it's lazy. I think that you were working so hard.

Yeah, but I was doing the wrong work. Like, you can, you can give. the impression that you're so you work so hard but it's not the it's not work that's actually busy work yeah it really it just felt like running in place it was just like on a treadmill you're not actually getting anywhere but you can be like oh i ran but it's like where did you go and what did you see nothing you do have a calmer energy to you thanks as in like you seem like you've been on like a nice vacation or like you went on a little retreat like that's the kind of energy it really well i like got to my parents house and I don't know about you but like yeah I got I was lonely and I was like

depressed and you're also with your parents who are like so cute together and they have a life and in my head I was like oh I thought at this point I at least be starting a possible relationship but you're like you're not going to meet anyone during quarantine so I felt very lonely and then how did you feel about your career like I just want to know your mindset yeah um I didn't care I was like good I am so glad that no one can do stand up right now so I don't feel competitive Don't feel competitive. So that was the greatest gift was like, no one can do it. Then people started doing it.

And I was like, oh, God damn it, I got to get back out there. And that's why I'm back out there. I feel like you're one of the first. Like, it's nice to help clubs if they're doing it right to get back out there. But, and people go, oh, you're just compelled to do it because you've got to share your truth. And I'm like, it's not that. I wish it were. Like, I mean, maybe that's part of it.

But I just, I like earning. I need to make fart jokes. I need to work. I need to be good because I'm. I need to keep it up. That's why I did a podcast over the summer, like, every day because I wasn't getting on stage. And so I was like, oh, I got to keep this up, like, this performing because it will atrophy. But I would, yeah, I will like totally, I got so sad.

Like, I was fucking depressed as fuck at certain times during the summer, like, really bad. Like, I can get to some bad places. I was like, I might need to go to a hospital. And I was like, good. I have enough money to, like, I could go away to a fucking resort and learn and get. bottomized or something like i was like do you have you do you get depressed oh my god yes i'm always depressed depression like what's your depression like great question so i've realized that i think i'm it's depression anxiety it goes back and forth of me my anxiety like gets me to do shit so it gives

me the fear to like work really hard but then um you just get bouts of sadness when you're not like feeling bit not busy but you're just like i get i'll get a lot of highs and then the lows are really low. So I live a lot of like high low where I wish I was a little more just like constantly okay. Yeah, I know those highs though feel so good. I mean, yeah,

even the last three days I've been like on a high from posting a podcast, then a low from getting like edits on something I didn't want. And then I'm like, ugh. I mean, I'm PMS and like a motherfucker. It's all career though oriented, like the things that... Right now it's career oriented,

but before I was like dating someone, I felt like there was something missing kind of. Like, but I also just felt like I didn't meet my person yet. And I'm not going to settle. No. We, you know, you eventually settle, by the way. Like, everyone settled. You never actually know.

Because you never know. There could always be someone better out there. So literally everyone settles. No one, no one has met the, did you meet everyone? Okay, then you settled. Actually, you're fucking right. It's true. You settle for the person you think is like the best of the worst.

The best that you can do. Everyone sucks in some capacity. it's finding someone who you want to suck with you and you could because when you're mentioning a relationship and you're past the like let's pretend we're perfect phase it's two people at their worst who can tolerate each other yes it's like I just feel like I um yeah I have too many expectations um for what I want in a relationship and I set the barometer like it's I'm too specific and I'm too picky and no one no one's going to be perfect and I'll always find something to dislike about them and like make it so.

we shouldn't be together before I even get a chance to like go on a date with them I love a self-sabotage so you don't have to waste your time yeah yeah but like also keep yourself closed off so that you don't even give it a chance because it could be good but I also think the right guy is going to be like ha ha that's hilarious this is cute your little self-sabotage games like we're meant for each other shut up like that's what's going to happen okay but that's a masculine energy guy I'm a I'm a masculine energy woman so I need a feminine what would be the perfect match for me is a feminine energy guy just like you as a comedian you're as I was talking to the woman who wrote this book getting to I do my friend like had call sessions with her and like got counseled by her and ended up

engaged and so I was dealing with this guy that I needed help with like how do I get this guy so I called her this bitch like gives me great advice but she goes I go he's a comedian I know and she goes oh great she goes yeah female comedians are masculine energy and male comedians are feminine energy so they're actually perfect matches and I almost start crying I was like really so it's like not true that you can't be with a male comic can you explain how male comics are a female energy she goes it's a very open emotional thing to get up on stage and like share your feelings and to be an artist your artists are feminine energy yeah you forget they're creatives and for a woman to get on stage and do that that is like and and speak her mind and her like tell it like it is tell her what she's

thinking thinking is masculine feeling is feminine oh my god it's so interesting because i was on the car day with des and he was like oh thank god i don't have PMS because i'm so moody without it and i thought about it like he's the moody one and i'm the one who's actually pretty steady and like logical with stuff and he's up and down and i can be as like kind of rock with like little things but then today i was PMSing and we were a mess because i was in my like full feminine energy and he wasn't like but then he had to hold it down and he was but it's so interesting we go we move back and forth and that's what I kind of that's why I agree with the book that it's good to have the opposite but I don't agree that like it's so black

and white yes it I think it does have to change because you're not always one thing and she even admits that like you're not just one thing that's going to move but you're right like you have to adapt and they have to or you have to take those things that might like detract your feminine energy man and like not share those things with him because it will complicate your relationship like have try to set those aside the one thing that i've learned one thing i've learned that i've changed the only thing i've changed that's helped my relationships is i don't talk about exes i know it's so i used to fucking love it because it's a control tactic it's like all these boys used to like me that penis used to be in me did did did did did and like i liked that power and i realized like

it's disrespect and it makes them feel like crap yeah they don't like it they don't like it but i never had the balls to be like okay I'll respect that and not talk about it until like my most recent relationship that's great that means that you're growing and you're not doing anything sneaky and manipulative because that's what it was it wasn't you just like really but it's also because people in my past have done that to me and we would do it to each other and I thought that's just what you have to deal with because when you're dating someone who's older they've been with a lot of people you've been a lot of people and then you like bring it in and compare it and next thing you know you're playing mind games and that's not love knowing about exes i'm obsessed when hearing about a guy's stuff des will not

tell me anything because really well i i said on this podcast earlier with him he was on that he told me how he lost his virginity and i thought it was a little too emotional of a story and i was like then go fuck emily then he's like emily is 45 with a family right now leave emily out of this and now it's a joke like i'll be somewhere and i'd be like yeah i guess emily would have loved that and yeah so i love being like a little jealous but i'll do it in like a jokey way yeah that's fun i mean because you need to get out the jealous energy somehow i don't get jealous of if i have a boyfriend i don't get jealous why ever why i actually like when they're turned on by other women and i i like i like when other women try to get them doesn't make me jealous doesn't make me go

does was talking about like what porn like i like to watch and what he likes to watch and he's like yeah we could watch porn sometime and in my head i immediately was like i don't want to watch him get turned on by another girl. Am I being crazy? Most girls are like that. No, I think I'm weird, but I, yeah. I don't think you're weird, but it sounds like you might just have like, I have a weird fetish.

You're into it. You're into it. Like, you would like to watch him have sex with someone else. Yes. Yeah. And that's no, I feel like that's normal. A lot of people like that. Yeah, a lot of people are into it.

It isn't completely weird, but it, um, is often, like, Dr. Drew heard me talk about this. And he was like, you just don't feel like you're enough. you don't like you should not because I would want my boyfriend to like maybe hook up with people and like tell me about it or like and that kind of was more is that like a cool girl thing no and that's why are you actually turned on no it's for me it's not for them okay I literally I literally that's what I hate is that it sounds like I'm being a cool girl because like like you can cheat on me I don't care yeah but it's honestly like I think it's so hot and um And, like, because I came up with the theory, I'm sorry my enviselines and if I've been slurring this whole time, but I literally have to leave it in because I've been so bad about it. I'm going to start invisaline too because Andrew, your friend and my friend, calls me buck tooth. You don't have buck teeth, babe. Well, we'll address that with him later. Yeah, that's insane.

He has nothing to, like, you can. He also can't form a sentence because of his list, but continue. Yeah, he's one to talk about his teeth. He's insecure about his teeth, so he looked at yours and just, yes. so wait what was okay so this all came about because i i've only been like one really serious relationship and when we were together i would love hearing about him have like past relationships when he would like have hookups and like dirty stuff he did with girls and it would be like foreplay as we were like gearing up but then he ran out of his stories like i heard all of his stories

so i was like you gotta go out and make some new ones because that was like really fuel for my fire like i needed it so um yeah so i was like yeah go out and do stuff And he did a little bit, but we didn't last long enough for it to get. So does Dr. Drew think that it's like purely a fetish or that it's some stuff? No, he thinks I'm, I don't think I'm enough and that a guy will never, like I don't think, that I don't think I'm enough. But, and there might be some truth to that. But I don't think this is how I'm expressing it. No, because you would get sick to your stomach, sick if you really didn't like it.

If it was something for him, you would get so sick to your stomach. Right. No, I am like so turned on by it because in my. mind I'm like well first of all he's gonna like fucking blow her mind like she's gonna have a great time as long as she knows the rules and she's not gonna get hurt and like attached to him like yeah one time my ex was going to get a blow job and I was like go do it please because he went to like dinner with this girl that he was like used to date so they already had fooled around and he was like you know do you have to know that he's not emotional though to enjoy it

like do you have to be like you hate her though right um even listen if he wanted to be with her he'd be with her he's with me true he already dated her why would it bother me so like and if he does i just don't want to stop anyone from doing what they want to do which is maybe dr drew's point of like but i think it's whatever so i he was he was at i wasn't threatened by this girl even though they had slept together right before we got together a lot and he was meeting up with her this years later and um he was leaving and he was like yeah i feel like i could have she was like lingering I feel like I could have fucked up with her. And I was like, do it, please, please go back, get a blow job.

But, like, you're going to have to fuck me when you come home and, like, tell me about it. So I hope that you, like, are ready to do that. And he was like, seriously, if I, if I text her right now and say I'm coming back, it's happening and you can't take this back. And I can't, like, and I go, yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I go, hold on. Does she like you? And he's like, he goes, I mean, yeah. And I was like, but is she going to think that this, is she going to pursue this?

and like want something and you're gonna like she has a crush on you and thinks this is gonna like get you to like her more and he was like maybe and i'm like i can't do that like i don't want to be a part of that so if the girl but if a girl was just like wanted to pull my boyfriend or something and knew he had a girlfriend and like thought thought she could like get him over like to leave me go ahead and try has a guy ever gotten a blowjob like randomly from a girl who he just met and it's like i need to leave my wife and kids for you like it doesn't happen so if you are married would you be cool with it kind of yes especially if i was married because i'd be so much more secure with a ring and like a like knowing and guys are they're not only going to want to fuck you

you're actually just they want to fuck other things i'm sorry yeah they just will yeah they love you and they definitely still want to fuck you but they want to fuck other things and not that they have to fuck other things but like if they get their dick sucked or whatever i think it's kind of like Who cares? I just don't. I don't know. I don't care. No, I love talking about this because an emotional relationship different. Of course. It's also so funny because I feel like part of you has a side that's like, okay, to get a husband. I have to be these traditional ways. But then part of you is literally so not traditional because love is not like black and white like that. So I love this like dichotomy, almost this war in your head of like, oh, I have to be like this. But then it's like, I am not like that.

Yeah. That's true. Like reading these books and being like, oh, you have to be very feminine. I tried that at first and like just dress a different way don't talk as much don't sleep I definitely don't sleep with guys before I have a commitment like I don't think I'll ever do that because I do get attached with sex and it's just you end up liking a guy that you shouldn't just because he was inside you so I don't do that anymore but I'm not compelled to like I do not want a penis I don't want to deal with a penis at all unless I love them no thanks I don't need practice. I don't like one I I don't know like I'm I tried to like sleep with my ex just to have sex yeah because it's like old hat and I can just get it done but he doesn't really want to

because I think he things all get attached to him but I'm like no I've given up on you you don't understand this is the perfect time like I really have given up on you but he's probably smart to do that but I'm still like one of us aside to be mature which is not fun at all I know that's the worst but i do feel like you talk about like we're on this journey to love ourselves and accept ourselves and i don't think we ever fully get there but someone definitely like the you know when you meet that for like us i feel like we really respect each other and like you i feel good around you and i feel like with the right guy like the way they look at you you're gonna feel like so much so whole and so good yes when you were alone during quarantine do you feel like being in that old

place where you were growing up that you like learned about yourself more going back to the childhood home that's interesting i because it was the same home i grew up in from sixth grade and until like graduated and then i moved there again when i was 25 after i had gone to l.a. moved back home just for an in-between like the same kind of deal two weeks before i moved to new york year and a half so i'd done it before and i felt like a loser back then and now i'm 35 turned 36 in my childhood bedroom it's a fucking mess because i'm living just like i did when i was a teenager i'm i'm just like i was dealing with a lot of depression and it just felt like it felt sad to me it was but i talked about it so much like i wasn't trying to hide it which was surprising to me

because it was kind of pathetic i just was like i think i was just lonely and i think i was suffering the loss of a life like the death of a life the death of my new york life where all my friends were here. Now they all have boyfriends and they live in the Hamptons with their boyfriends. I mean, or upstate. All of my friends got boyfriends and moved upstate or moved away out of Manhattan. So moving back here, I'm like, it's not going to be, it's never going to be the same, ever. And I have to mourn that and move on. But like, I got, I really got real about some stuff that came up, like, almost immediately when quarantine happened, I was like, my life slowed down and I was able to see that like I had not something that was going to kill me, but like, kind of

of a raging eating disorder like just doing like I would intermittent fast for the past like two years I would just like not eat during the day and then like binge at night and then like it would just go late and then it would go really late and it was just like it was a mess and but I wasn't starving myself like I was getting enough calories but it was all happening at night and it was just like gross and like he was just embarrassed like I was waking up with like rappers in my bed not the guy and you want the guy with a W white rappers no

I dated a white rapper but I was like I was just like eating like I've always had eating disorders since I was 18 and I was caught anorexia when I was 18 and then it's morphed into like ones that are just manageable and I'm not trying to kill myself I'm not trying to starve I'm not trying to look skinny

it's just about control and like so it's and it was just so obvious as soon as everything else went away. I was like, um, you are gross, like, you, you can eat normally again, like this, you could excuse it before. Yeah. Because your life is so busy. I can't fit in lunch. I can't, I'm not going to eat breakfast. I have to go on air. I don't want to be burping. Like, all these excuses I was made to starve. Like, just such dumb excuses just so I could starve

and intermittent fasting. You know, that's a diet everyone and does. That's not adult anorexia, which is what it is. And it's like, it was just bullshit. And so then I got a real good look at that. And fucking got help. And so now I'm like not, I don't have an eating disorder anymore. I mean, it's still in me, but like I don't get to do it anymore. I'm so fucking proud of you. Thanks, dude. But it's also crazy how like the more successful you get, the more easy it is to make excuses for all your bad habits.

Because you're like, I'm making money. I'm so busy. And then all those bad habits are just ridder because people around you are like, oh, God, Nikki, you're so great. Yeah, you're killing it. And you're killing it. And you have an eating disorder that like no one will know. because I'm good at stuff so I'm good at making this terrible thing like work and not it's

not going to kill me like there was like in the past when I got anorexia I didn't know what the fuck it was like a car like that you on on like an ice patch that you're like you lose control of your body like you literally have no choice yeah but then you get a little bit older you learn about nutrition and you're like okay I don't want to die so this I'll do the bare minimum I'll exercise too much so I can eat like that whole life fucking sucks i don't want it that's why i was always so fascinated with you is like you i've i've been anorexic that's right i remember i was i was i was anorexic when i was 16 it was like a um when i was playing tennis it was a it was a sports thing which is yeah it's it's a perfectionist thing

though i couldn't control my life i felt so much pressure my parents were putting else money into tennis i couldn't control how i was playing i kept losing and then i would just eat less and um so like i have it in me as a type a person that like i could go anorexic tomorrow yeah It's like a conscious decision of being like, I am going to respect my body, and my body deserves calories. Yeah, it is such a, eating is actually self-love. It is. And yeah, you weren't, you weren't like full-blown anorexic, but you were in an eating pattern that was like so mean to yourself. So mean.

The foods I allowed myself to eat were not that fun. And the starving was just so punishing. And then the eating was punitive. well it was like nothing was nourishing it's a self-hate like you after a long day eating a fucking salad is you being like bitch you don't deserve happiness yeah but i convince myself that's what i wanted i can visit it was what i wanted like i didn't crave anything else like it was what i deserved so like you get you convince yourself like that's good enough and your determination to succeed at that insane eating disorder is also the same qualities that make you such

a good comedian so it's such a thin line between like being so fucking successful and hardworking and being like so thin so little but also for people who are like obsessed of being thin like you were so thin and like so successful where was your mental state i mean i've been up and i've fluctuate i always fluctuate about like 15 pounds the past 10 years like i'm never i'm always scared you know of becoming obese not that there's anything wrong with being obese but like i fear there's there must be that must be the inherent fear of like why like oh what will happen and then no one will love me or whatever like I have all these things tied up about that. You don't just go to sleep one day and wake up obese like that takes like like years and years but I don't trust myself

to not do it because I can be out of control with my eating like I know that I can be this this whole thing can go the other way like I remember when I was anorexic back in the day they were like watch out because this turns into other things and I was like yeah right like first of all I'm never going to throw up I am an anorexic like that's disgusting that's for people who eat too much and can't control themselves i have a lot of control and i'm better than bulimics and then you get lazy in college and you starve too much and you start to eat and you can't stop and then you're like oh let me try it oh this works oh wait it gives me mouth acne okay i have to stop doing that i guess well now i'm just going to get fat for a little bit no well i'll exercise

i'll run five miles a day and act like that's not hurting my body and like i don't ever want to do it but i have to do it because it's a hamster wheel because then i won't be able to eat tonight if I don't get to exercise and eating is the only thing that I even look forward to. And so I have to go and it's just so fucking stupid and I hate it. And I'm not, you opening up about this because the amount of women who are listening that are just like, yep, like I remember there was a game show. And if you, it was like you had to eat worms or you had to eat this whole chocolate cake.

And I remember thinking if I was on this game show and I'd eat that chocolate cake, I'd kill myself. Me too. I've used to think, dude, I went to go see the Blue Man group with my, choir with my a cappella choir that's the same thing i'm so glad you said that i was we we were it was senior year i just started starving myself it was going great i was getting so much attention like every boy that i ever wanted to like me suddenly liked me i mean it fucking worked for a second and then we went we went on this trip blue man group and there had this thing where you like you have to eat a piece of cake i guess it was they have they pick someone randomly from the audience to eat a

piece of cake and i would have caused the biggest like it would have been such an embarrassing moment to be like no but I wouldn't have done it and it was like I remember being in the crowd like being so scared like if they choose me I can't I literally can't and I will I will start I had that's I was like life would end if I had to finish that chocolate cake I would have to kill myself and what's so crazy is right now if I almost take pride and being like I will be the one to eat that bread I'll be the one to eat that croissant I like I I'm not there yet like you nailed it though you said I don't trust myself the way i overcame it was finally trusting my body that it will find an equilibrium yes trusting when you feel hungry that you need food trusting when you feel full that your body's had

enough and it's hard it's so hard to mindfully eat like that and i'm still bad at it i love picking out i got my appendix out they said the one rule is not to have big meals i got i realized all i want is big meals to like just feel like I have the biggest food baby in the world and pass out like that's what I love to do it's a comfort feeling and that's finding out when you're hungry and when you're full is I still struggle with it because a lot of times I you eat most of the time a lot of women listening right now you eat over your feelings and you don't know the difference between hungry and sad or stuffed and like and a lot of people feel stuffed when they haven't eaten at all like it's we're also fucked up from it but what I have found in like my recovery

which I've been six months of like not disordered eating and like I have like little things I do here and there that need adjustment and I want to like get normal again but I have not eaten after dinner which is like all I used to eat um since for for six months like I just like eat but I eat three meals a day the hardest thing eating breakfast because every girl is taught like skip meals. If you eat three meals a day, it's a great start to force your, and I know you're scared that if you eat breakfast, I'm still going to binge at night. Maybe the first couple nights you will, but then you're not going to be as hungry as night at night. You know, it's so funny. And you're not going to binge. When you starve, you binge.

I eat a lot. Yeah. I have a strong appetite. But I would go out with my girlfriends and it would be like, 2 a.m. And all of them want pizza and ice cream. And I'm like, I don't want it. And they're like, oh you're being lame you don't want to get fat i go no i've eaten 3 000 calories today and i've been full since 8 p.m and i and i and also because once you get in this routine with your body and your body's happy and you get that like good healthy weight yeah your body is in this equilibrium where like it starts making sense you can trust its feelings and then you get in this lovely relationship with it where it's like oh you want some food we'll give it to you oh you ate a little too much tomorrow you're not going to be as hungry and it becomes this less like life and death you and starve you

12 just you probably won't eat as much like trust that your body's not going to betray like it is about trust and I don't trust my body a lot of times I always used to think you don't get to eat like a normal person that's for other girls with for you you will be obese if you eat normally and that's an anxiety thought because you are less you don't deserve as much it's always I always get less like I don't get to dress as good as other people like I I buy nice clothing or I get like styled in my stylist like pick out stuff and I will never wear nice clothing I always wear the shitty thing from H&M that's like been in my closet forever because I feel like if I wear it it's like I don't deserve it it's so weird and then these I buy these things that are like so expensive

because my stylists are like those are amazing on you and I'm like yeah I am gonna wear this and I never fucking wear it because I don't feel deserving of it and then by the time I am ready to wear it it's out of style this happens with everything but it's because I don't feel like I'm enough so it's like a constant practice of just being easy on yourself and trusting that you aren't going to but this is what burning in hell is about because the first time that i like met you which was i love doing our like throwbacks to how we met but you were you were doing raina and ash no you were doing mary beth show and you walked in and you had like i think you had an oversized blazer your hair was like very effortlessly done and you just looked like the chicest girl in the room and you were with ania

And I do remember being like, oh my God, I would love to like hang with them. And like they just seem so fun and cool. So it's just so funny to me that like you're not someone who I would ever be like, girl, you need to work on your shit. Like your energy is what like every girl looks up to. And like you need to remember that and like stop comparing yourself because people like, you're creating your own thing. Yeah.

I'm done with it. I really am done. Like it still happens because it's been a life. time of thinking of myself that way but you're like I don't I'm weird there are some things about me that are fucking weird and like I hate about myself and I'm like why can I just be normal why can I eat normally why can't I like the outdoors like most girls do why can't I why do I like being on reddit on my phone I wish I like to hike like I wish I like to the photos are so cute I wish I like to work out I wish I like to there's a lot of things I wish I like to do and I don't and I just it's just

to I am. I watched that love on the spectrum show and they're autistic and weird and quirky. It was incredible. And they're just like, I like this. I don't like this. I'm autistic. And everyone's like, cool. I like you. You know who you are. And if you guys haven't watched Love on the Spectrum on Netflix, you have to. My favorite part, because their brains just work differently. My favorite part is when someone would be like going off because they're nervous. And then the other person has to respond, they'd be like, I'm sorry. I just blacked out. And I'm really nervous. Another person would be like, I'm nervous. And you realize how hard social things are but they did teach me like they're also different and unique and what I realize is

the reason people fall in love is because of an X factor Nikki if people are just looking for a girl with good feminine energy who's weak they can pick any girl yeah but they fall in love with an X factor that like only you can bring and it's with your weirdness and your mix of energies yes and all that shit and you don't know what kind of demons they've dealt with that are like perfect for your demons that you are like fully embraced yes there's definitely many men out there that will be great partners for me because and i will settle on one of you but i like yeah who are you manifesting what are you like envisioning right now i i've never really thought about that i in terms of like manifesting someone for a while it was chris evans but then he started posting like too many photos of himself

where he looked like really hot like in photos and i'm just like i don't think i want a guy who knows he's hot yeah we get it like i want a guy who knows he's hot yeah we get it like i want a guy who was hot but I don't want a guy who knows it yeah you need a one who's ugly growing up that like had to get a personality um yes yes I do I want one who has um who's and who doesn't think they're beautiful and take selfies like I don't know I can't be with a guy who takes selfies so I guess that's all I'm like really manifesting but like someone I truly don't know is that bad did you think about this like what the kind of guy you want and then it's like no I just kept being like okay I can't have a guy like that.

Oh, I learned from that. I cannot do that again. And you just start nearing down. But I also think, Nikki, when you have an eating disorder, you can't date. No, I couldn't. Let's be honest. Because then, like, going out to eat becomes the whole thing. Also, you're constantly obsessed with checking in on yourself.

Rappers in my bed, dude. I can't have a dude. I literally was like, that was the brain. There's not a guy that could be in my bed because I'm eating in bed. You're like, I need to eat. I can't have crazy sex tonight. I have calories. I would so often, yeah, I would so often be like, you know, you starve all day because that's just

the way it was because you binge too much last night. I'd starve all day. I'd have a date that night. And then I'd have to eat like a normal person on the date. And then I'm starving. Yeah. So I can do it. But then I'm starving and I don't want to have sex when I'm still hungry. When I'm thinking about food, oh no. And like, and in that mindset of like really wanting to go off and binge, then I'm not present. I like, and I knew that. I knew that I was going to have to like get an meetings were under control. You're talking to you about dating, why are you single? It's like, you are working through all these things that are going to just, like,

make you into an even stronger person that, like, I feel like it's going to slide like a glove when it's the right person who's going to be, like, a best friend to you because you're just, you're going to be available. You said it yourself, you're not, you were not available. No, I wasn't. But in that time, you crushed your career, which is pretty cool. Yeah, I definitely did. And it's going to be cool to see it, um, on.

the other side of this too if like if i can be a comedian and love myself like it's weird because i was writing i've been like playing guitar recently and trying to like just let out my feelings by learning taylor swiss songs and like singing which you would have never done if there wasn't a quarantine oh never never had time to like talk on the phone with someone i mean she wouldn't have time to make folklore in which i'm trying to just like play the whole thing i mean i'm so grateful for that even learning something new is like a self-love thing oh yeah especially a guitar i'm fucking terrible at it. I'm never going to, it's not going to change my career to learn guitar. It's kind of actually going to hurt, but I

love it. Yes. But I was writing a parody song of, um, I was just like tooling with the idea of writing a, um, version. She has a song about being 15 that I love. And I wanted to, I've always wanted to make it like for the age that I'm at. So it was like, rewrote it as like 36 and I was just talking about living at home with my parents. And like, I was just roasting myself through the

lyrics, like, so mean. And I was so depressed the next day because I was like, you were just because you just went so hard on yourself for hours yesterday writing you hurt your own feeling i was bullying myself i really was and i feel like that's what i do with comedy because it's so self-deprecating yeah like so many girls and just comedy in general is like making fun of yourself and so even when things are going well you're like no no no there's shit that i can hate about myself let's find it yeah and it's it it just if yeah there that's where i go to is just like making fun of myself and making fun of my looks or making fun of like and if you love yourself are you able to do that i think i'll find a way but it's it'll be interesting to see oh i love this because we'll

have tomorrow you walk outside you bump into a guy to coffee shop you know you're in masks but like you can tell his eyes are sexy he asks you something you just love his energy you see him the next time whatever love story and you meet your person and you he accepts you for you and then you start accepting you for you what's your comedy i think it's Um, because right now, what's the deal with, what's the deal with boyfriends? Yeah, like, it's going to be, yeah, just a lot of yours is like why you're single. And that's why like I love getting into it with you because I know you have a hundred conspiracy theories going on. Right. It's like, why are you single? Why are single? But you're going to not be single at some point. And then yeah, I think it's loving yourself as a comic and being able to like laugh at things without it being like so fucking dark that you like really believe it. Yeah. Yeah. Not being like I don't think I need to be hard on myself to be funny. It's, it'll be. It'll be. It'll be. be being hard on other things, but I think it will also, I heard Taylor Swift talk about the fact that, like, she is now in a loving relationship. Oh my God, what's Taylor Swift going to write about? Yeah. Was she ever write again? She's in love. And she was like, I just channel, like, I read about

breakups. I was listening to my friends talk about the breakup. So it'll be still the same. I'm still interested in sex and dating and all those things. Also, within a relationship, it's such like a plant, like you still have to water it. You still have to grow. The way your brain works, I'll talk about my relationship you will find the funny in anything and I do think once you like love yourself like so fucking much you can fucking laugh about that like oh now I'm cocky yeah suddenly I'm a cocky bitch like you're the way your brain works is genius wrapping this up I just like if you stop and make out with you as well literally I can't even do with you right now yeah when you were saying oh meeting me first of all meeting me the first night backstage at that thing I want to say that I knew instantly

I was like I and I've told you this before on air I was like I was like I that girl who was that and then it turned out you were a girl that dated a guy that like broke up with me to date you and I did and I had hated you just from one picture for a while and then I was like that's the girl that I like hate

I was like blown away I was like good like I was so proud of him for like I'm like you did does I would have picked her over me too dude oh my God shut up it was not like so no I just like was instantly you're instantly a person that you just want to be friends with and everyone listening this podcast knows exactly what I'm talking about.

They all want to be friends with you and they don't all get to be, but I do and it's fucking I mean, it's pretty awesome that like you look at someone and you're like, how do anything to be friends with them? And then they of all the people in the room are like, that girl was cool. And I do think that's what happens with relationships. Like some guy is going to be like fucking so crazy over you and they're just going to see you do something so like little and mundane of something that you might even hate about yourself, like even just like how you're wearing your pants or how you like pull up your

belt buckle that was a weird reference but yeah belt book i don't even wear belts um but then you're going to feel the same way about him and that's that's everything with career and friends and relationships but you guys niki you're the fucking best i love you so much you're the best we covered so much i think we did good no we crushed it you are the most most people not gonna lie who are famous fucking suck at podcast they are so closed off they're it's like talking to a PR machine of like generic questions I think people want to hear you are so raw so amazing where can people follow you where can people see your stand up where can people listen to you right now Nikki Glazer on Instagram I want to post more I got to do more Instagram stuff on there

I'm really struggling on Instagram because I just like every time I post I'm like does anyone fucking care about like I just me getting fire emojis from like famous people or you even like your fire emoji is all that I want and like that's that's all I need but like it just feels so sad So anyway, yeah, follow me there. That's what I'm most active. You're really good salesman. I know, right. I really want to follow you.

No, I'm actually going to try to put out more stuff because I'm not doing a podcast right now. I'm in between podcasts, but of new podcasts. Can you put up some more stand-up videos? I feel like you've so many. I have so much stand-up that I haven't released. Like, get your assistant or someone to go through all your content. I'm insecure about it. Oh, my God.

Nikki. It's so weird. I'm insecure about it. I, like, feel like I don't want people to look too closely because then they'll, they'll write. But also you can't take your shit too seriously. tell them to get the tiniest bit like one minute that made them laugh yes to cut it send it to you if you like it post it i think that like oh god then i have to watch it you don't even watch it i feel i know i can pull it polly to it blindly i have done that i've been like i just i send it to my friends

and they're like i like i don't even know what you're talking about just watch it and let me know if you think i should post it because i can't watch myself but yes instagram i'm in between podcasts but i will have a new podcast uh very soon to announce that i'm very excited about so um but yeah that's and then you're doing shows right oh yeah i'm doing live shows you can check out nicky glazer com for um details about those some indoor shows that are socially distant and hopefully safe hell yeah well nicky thank you for being so amazing i look up to you in so many ways and yeah this in person interview was a blessing for me and this was a good a good day in hell yeah i'm so proud to be your friend i'm so proud of you you have it and you're killing it and you're just a good

And so it's good when it happens to good people. We're on a journey together, and I'll see you guys later in hell. Thanks for coming by. It was a hot one. Bye.