Berner Phone - Paige DeSorbo: Bad Taste In Men & Good Taste In Fashion

Episode Date: September 25, 2019

My best friend Paige explains why people think she’s a bitch, what their first weekend of filming summer house was like, her boyfriend Perry calls in, our codependency on our moms, how our moms have broken up with our boyfriends, her child modeling career she never talks about, why she started seeing a therapist, how she used to have terrible taste in men, how she is a NYC party socialite, how she met Perry and he broke up with her, her chicken cutlets, her biggest insecurities, how to always look good, and her shopping visions.GET TICKETS TO MY LIVE SHOWS IN BOSTON, LONG ISLAND, & PHILI HERE--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

To my loyal little devils, welcome back to my new little devils, welcome to hell. If you've been enjoying the podcast, subscribe, rate, review, show some love, screenshot. If you're enjoying the conversation, tag us, we'll repost. It's pretty much the best part of our day. And I'm excited to announce that I have a mini tour coming up in November, November 6th. I'm going to be with Paige de Sorbo, the queen herself, at Punchline Comedy Club in Philly. Then November 7th, I'm going to Brokridge Comedy Club in Belmont. one new york and then november eighth i'm going to laugh boston in massachusetts be there or be

square welcome to burning me again okay guys oh we're starting yeah we're starting do i mean do anything else to do what else did you come here for There are good snacks. Anyway, stop trying to distract me because we are in the dark, dark, evil depths of hell with the biggest fan of Burning in Hell. Paige Just Swabah, welcome. Hello, well, thank you. I was going to say welcome.

Thank you for having me. You're the co-host today. I love that you actually listen to Burning in Hell because that's what most friends do. I think a lot of my friends don't listen, but pretend they do, and then I test them, and then I realize they're not my true friends. I put it on when I'm bored Or when you're cleaning You said that How often do you clean?

Once a month No, I put it on In my apartment When I'm like doing shit Rather than having the TV on I put your podcast on And I find myself like laughing And then I'm like

Oh my God, she's my friend Well, you're one of my favorite friends To laugh with Going into Summer House with you Was a fucking crazy experience Yeah, that was a weird one Because we knew each other In a way like

whenever I saw you around it was like, good vibes. Hey. Hey. We were fake ass bitches, but like I didn't hate you. No, I didn't dislike you. I definitely didn't dislike you, but I wasn't like going around telling people how much I liked you. Yeah, I wasn't associating myself with you. Oh, God, no. But then we get, we go on the show.

Yeah. It was pretty scary. You became real quickly. security blanket when we woke up that first morning like it could have been really weird but like the fact that we both turned over and were like giggling we're like this is so funny i remember being like they they put in the show i was kind of like last night was insane yeah and i wasn't just talking about like the fighting or whatever i was talking about just everything we were both overwhelmed together and i think being over overwhelmed bonds people i have like a narcolepsy thing when i get nervous And, like, I want to sleep.

I fell asleep that night. You, like, went out. And I was like, I have to pack out. That first night was so weird. I decided to go out with Lindsay and Danielle and Carl. You decided to stay in. And I was, like, lame. When, realistically, I'm more lame than you.

I was just, in the beginning, I try hard to be fun. Yeah. Like, I'm people pleases. So I'm like, I'm fun. And then, like, a couple weeks into knowing me, I'm like, they like me enough. I'm staying home. Yeah. Last summer, I.

You didn't talk the whole first weekend to anyone. me. No. You're actually pretty shy when people first meet you, I think. I'm very shy. I'm very, I don't know if the word is insecure, but I'm very, I just get nervous, like when I meet new people. Funny is I'd met you once a betches. And then you, you visited again. I thought we had a great first meeting. And I remember you, like, kind of made eye contact with me and looked away. And I was like, you were like, but because I'm going to say, because you're pretty, it comes off bitchy. It comes off like you think you're better than people. If I had a dollar for like my entire life how many people would be like i thought you were going to be a huge bitch and they're like

you're actually really nice i'm like i am a huge bit you're like go with your intuition no like i get you're quiet also i think people see us on the show very outgoing when they meet you do you think they expect you to be a certain way parry's pick up the phone pick it up speaker phone perry i'm recording hannah's podcast right now recording hannah's podcast do you have anything to say to the Little Devils? Hi, Hannah. Do you have anything to say? Do you have anything to say?

Well, I'm just happy you're on it. We are doing something. I love you so much. I got to go out. All right, bye. Bye. He's literally so clingy. It's like ball and chain.

It's like the middle of the day. What does he have to say? Did he just want to check up on you? When he gets like a free minute at work, he's just like, hey, what are you doing? That's adorable. And we're just free all day to fuck around. I took my first nap today

Also what's similar I think we started to figure out things that were similar Between us like we both are obsessed with our moms Yeah Do you know when you make a mom joke like Oh my mom's like so busy all day And she doesn't pick up the first ring And then I'm like I just need to tell her how good

The chicken nuggets were that I just ate And you're like how could she not pick up on me But some people hate their moms And they'd be like, why do you want to talk to your mom? And I'm like because I'm her life fine If my mom doesn't answer the phone, I'm literally like, what are you doing? I'm your whole reason for existing. Like, I need you right now.

I actually realized that had a serious codependency problem with my mom where like I'd go get my nails done and I'd call her. And I'd be like, what do I do? Or like, I'd go on a date with a guy and I'd be like, should I kiss him? Like it was too, it was really bad. I just started to like cut the cord. I had to cut it when recently one of my last breakup, she got more upset than me. And I was like, mom, we can't do this. like she'll full on like a guy with me like we fall in love together with him yeah I totally

get that but she's also the kind of mom that if I tell her one thing about him that she doesn't like she'll crucify him swimming with the fishes basically one time my mom broke up with a guy I broke it up with so many guys because my mom was like yeah we're over him we are over him my mom once was like you're not going to his place call him right now call him and tell me you don't want to see him one time my boyfriend came up to me and was like I'm pretty sure your mom just broke him up he said she said I'll never make you happy I was like no it's right no but that's the thing our moms are always right so what are I know but we have to it's annoying she's always right my mom has a spidey sense like she'll know whenever anything is slightly wrong with me she'll text

me like are you okay but I had to start being independent do you when do you feel like you start to get your dependence from your mom. I mean, you did call her in the car ride here. Oh, yeah, in the car. I was like, I got to call my mom, tell her, like, when I'm out to your home. You're like, I rolled around in bed a little, I thought taking a shower, I didn't. I ordered food from Perry's restaurant and ate it and then regretted it. Do you think you have daddy issues?

I think everyone has daddy issues to a certain extent. Yeah, they have different kind of daddy issues. A different kind. I think that your parents love you too much. Oh, 100%. Like, they have put this unrealistic expectation in my head. Yeah. That's what my dad was with my tennis.

Everyone I played, like, I would get my ass kick by, like, the number one girl in the world. And he'd be like, are you serious? You couldn't do better out there? And I'm like, it's adorable that you thought I could beat her. But like, can you just console me? Right. My parents love me too much. And a lot of people don't know this about me because I'm not like running around telling everyone.

but I started having a therapist like I would say in April life changing very late I think I've had a therapist for 12 years well you were what people don't know about you is that you were a model for limited two yeah but you were like a Willamina model like you were you probably had the cutest big eyes yeah and adorable when you're a kid yeah were you treated differently because you were like an adorable little kid do you think like could you get away with a lot of shit people are just way nicer to you when your face looks a certain way which is insane fucked up that's why i don't trust guys who are too good looking because they're just treated so differently should i trust you or if you've been treated too differently i shouldn't trust you um

it is crazy to like realize that as an adult like oh people are nicer to people when they're pretty Like, I think that's so fucked up. It's also, there's something innate with, like, people who have big eyes and, like, little noses and, like, I don't know. It's just, we're taught that that's cute. You said you have an actual phobia of your kid not being cute. Okay. Yeah, this is all coming out. Everyone does.

And if you say that, you don't. Hannah, you've never thought, like, oh, my God, what if I have a child and it's just, like, looks like, and it was like a really ugly animal. like a platypus Or what if you have a child We've talked about this That's so girly And like you don't identify with them On like a certain level

Like okay Obviously you're gonna love I think you're I was talking to Krista Stephano On a previous episode You're just going to be harder You're taught innately to think your baby's cute No but here's the thing

As a human You can look at a person and say Oh that's a good looking person That's not a good looking person Yeah. You don't love them any, look, I love my boyfriend so much. But if a hot guy walks down the street, I know. Oh, that guy's really hot. Yeah. I don't love that person. Why do you think that you and Perry's baby won't be cute? Sometimes two good-looking people don't make really good-looking babies. Oh, you think Perry's good-looking? Yeah, I do. He actually is like, he's so cute.

You always say you want to squeeze his face. What does that mean? Can you explain to the audience what that means? You know, and you see a puppy, and, like, for some reason, you want to hurt it. Because you love it so much. Yeah, I love when I see a little dog, I just want to punt it. Like, you just want to squeeze it to, like, that's probably a disorder and probably a serial killer. I want to, like, squeeze his head off. So why did you start seeing a therapist besides that? I started, actually, it was Perry's idea.

It's like, you're a psycho before I day you. He goes, can you just, everything's great physically? Can you just fix your head? I am like a certain type of OCD like I feel like sometimes my thoughts just get like all jumbled up in my brain I talk to my mom about everything but sometimes you need to talk to someone who's like do you realize your mom is a coping mechanism for your anxiety like it's not it's like me it went too far my mom was my security blanket for everything when I really just had to deal with my anxiety and like I I know that my mom always wants the best for me but here comes lies that other problem she

loves me so much, then sometimes I feel like she won't tell me like, well, now she will tell me. But she's like, she's so in it. She's so in it. So it was like, I wanted to talk to someone and like understand why I did the things I did. Like, why would I date these guys who were horrible for me and like realizing it's because of like the relationship you have with your parents? Like your parents could be the best parents ever.

Everyone has some type of like fucked up problem. Do you think you had trouble choosing men? Totally. Why? I don't know. I would always date. Like, my first boyfriend I ever had was amazing. Like, loved me to, like, the ground I walked on.

I still talked to him. Like, every girlfriend he's ever had. Hates me. Why did it end? I was, like, 18 years old, and I was just, like, got to be something better out there. Like, it has to be more fun. Like, I always wanted that, like, bad boy that, like, I didn't know what was going to happen. Like, something crazy.

Same. And then, like, the next two guys I dated, it was like, oh, so this is what fucking crazy is. Cool. You're like, the universe was like, oh, you want crazy? He's going to fuck your best friend. And then living in New York and dating is just a whole shit show. I feel like what people don't know about you is you're kind of, you are a little bit of like a New York City party socialite. Like, you know the scene.

You know the scene, you know the clubs, you know the people. I don't. Yeah. I'm with my cat, like, sleeping. But you understand New York City. What is it like to be a girl in her early 20s going out every night in the clubs? So when I first moved to New York, I dated a guy who knew everyone. So that was like your first end.

So it was like I would go to clubs and I'd meet the door guys and like the managers of the club. Were you like social climbing? Did you like consciously? I didn't consciously do that. But like I realized I liked the feeling of walking into a club. sitting at a table yeah people being like page this is your table and like you're and like meeting all these people and once you do that you can't wait in line anymore like it ruins clubs for you so then when i started going out without him and i realized that like the club owners and like the dormant still knew me

i was like i am that bitch me feel power i will like go in i will get my friends in like let's do this let's do that and then i hit a point where like i started to get embarrassed like if i would walk up to a club and the doorman would be like page where have you been like I'm like oh my god was that because you were getting older yes I was like now I think all I do is go out did you have fun like was it actually fun yes I had a lot of fun in New York like when I first moved here do you remember it or is it blurry it's blurry but I know that I went like the first year I lived here when I tell you I went out every single night like Monday nights were my night like I went out every single night do you like to dance did you like like what did you like can you please explain what's fun about going out to me

so i dated a guy who was only about fun like all we did was go out sounds exhausting we did dinners we literally drank all the time would be at every club every event that like there was for your little body you're pretty good at drinking yeah i couldn't it's kind of what my mom's really good at drinking oh that's where you get it yeah and it was just like the scene like and i loved an outfit So I loved getting ready and going out. And you'd be like on his arm and feeling proud of him. He was like 6-4. Well, that's all you had to say is that he was 6-4 and he wanted to go out.

He was like, D-1 basketball. And I was like, oh, my God, he's so big and I'm so tiny. What school? American University. I wonder if he's going to listen to him. It's kind of like he knew everyone. You've met him. I've met him. Okay.

I know what we're talking about. I don't know if he listened to my podcast. If he had good taste and podcasts, he would. Send it to him. So he knows the scene. You're having fun. we're having fun our relationship is solely based on going out we would get into crazy fights when you were drunk when we were drunk when and i was so clanging drunk fights are so dramatic and i think about

it now he is the age i am now when we started dating yeah i thought he was like an adult and had like knew what was going on now i think about it and i've apologized and then like i'm so sorry for like thinking you were supposed to be my dad and take care of me because it's at 26 i've no idea what the fuck is going on. And I put a lot of pressure on him to, like, be the man and, like, take, you, like, again, because my parents put this idea in my head that someone should be so obsessed with me and love me so much and do everything for me. Does your dad do that to your mom?

Yes. He loves her. But your mom, like, has their shit together. Yeah. Like. But, like, he doesn't make a decision without, like, being like, Kim. What should we do here? Yeah.

My dad doesn't even know how to make his own decisions ever. My dad doesn't even know how to make a toast. I don't know. I was talking to my mom about this. I'm like, why do people think men run the world? They don't. Every family structure is the woman is making the like buying decisions, the family decisions, the everything, the decorating decisions, the food decisions.

What else kind of decisions are needed? So I don't regret dating that guy. But it sounds like you are putting blame on yourself a little, that you were like clinging or you were. Oh, he treated me like, shit. That's not exactly. Like, no, there's two sides to a story. But you liked it? I liked the intensity of our relationship.

The passion. Like, the passion. Like, it was... Or did you feel like he was about to break up with you every second? Sometimes, yes. Because I get afraid of fighting because I'm like, oh, we'll break up if we fight. But that's because I'm really mean if I finally fight with someone. That's true.

It takes so much for me to fight with someone. And you know, once I get mad, I say shit that will end full on relationships, like, forever. But sometimes we would get these, like, in these crazy fights. and I had a key to his apartment, so I'd be like, guess what I'm showing up, bitch? So you did crazy single white girl shit. Oh, I did crazy stuff. What's some crazy shit you did? One time he accidentally called me, like, it was like 4 a.m.

Okay. He accidentally called me, and I heard him talking to someone, and I was like, oh, no, that is not a girl. And I got in an Uber. He was just at a Burger King Drive-Thru ordering, and you were like, hell, no. I got in an Uber and showed up. to his apartment and called him and go if there's a girl at your apartment get her out because I'm walking in the door and he was like what are you talking about and I walked in there's no one there and he's like you're a psycho I think there was a girl there and she got scared and

laughed he was like it was the TV you shouldn't have warned him I got nervous either way I was did you think he was cheating on you yes and he definitely was but I never could have never I never could have proved it like physically is it funny when a relationship is not about dating anymore but it's about trying to figure out if they're cheating on you I'm the investigative queen you are you are I would be like hey and send him a picture of a girl and he'd be like honestly I'm going to admit to this how did you figure that out I'm that's happened before yeah like I would like find girls on Instagram and be like I know you're talking to this girl and he'd be like that's some crazy shit also if a guy does that once

it's ruined forever like i can never trust him no i could never if you're just if he's just talking to a girl on the side i'm like it ruins it for me we were on and off for like three years because you were just that attracted him with the sex good yeah that's the thing whenever you see a couple that you're like how in the hell are they still together yeah they have crazy good sex the thing i loved about him is like we could sit on the couch and not talk for hours and like because he was busy texting other girls and then he's like look at me and i'd be like game on. And then we wouldn't talk again for like another five hours.

Also, you said something really funny last week about how, because females have a lot of intuition. I think me and you were very empathic people. People don't know that about us. You can't tell from Brava, but we're empaths. You said you have a sense for when another girl likes your dude. Oh, yes. Like you can, it's so weird. You can figure, I can't tell if like a girl's a lesbian or not, but I can tell in the second.

If she is attracted to my boyfriend, I know. You know how her voice changes a little. little she's like oh hi hey what's been going on i'm like and she starts being a little sultry of their eyes like what oops and she like asked him something that like you haven't talked him about like oh did you have fun at like the game last week i'm like how'd you know who's out of game last week i will fight a girl carty b had the instagram about like if your friend is changing her voice around your man yet she's not your friend she goes i wouldn't know about that because i don't hang out with friends like that but if that's

happening you get rid of that friend yeah i'll tell people straight up if i think their dad's hot i just like to give compliments where compliments are due i love giving a compliment okay why i think our friendship works a lot of the time if you like it's so adorable you think our friendship works while you're going to come on me on my own podcast you think she thinks she's hysterical are you done do you want to shit on me anymore you're done you ever have a crush on a guy and like doesn't work out but then like you you've a crush on his friend because they're like similar yeah oh yeah you like anyone if anyone knows justin from summer as last season like he wasn't even friends with perry they met through page recently and they were like we love each other we have a lot

of mutual friends like my social scene is so incestual and like we all know each other so perry didn't know justin um when i was like hooking up with him and then he met justin through another guy friend of ours and i remember perry texting me being like Justin's really great. Like, I totally get why you like him. And I was like, yeah. So Perry doesn't care that you've like, you let him put his dick inside you all the time? I mean, he doesn't love that.

But he, but like it was before Perry and I were anything. And when you see Justin right now, you're like so platonic. We're so platonic. So can you even imagine being attracted to him? Like, do you ever go there in your head? Oh, I'm going to get you in trouble. I'm getting you in trouble. All right.

Why don't you calm the fuck down? Do you, how do you feel about me in Bruch, Dave? let's make this about me okay um like all your ex-boyfriends well just the two that i know i think that they were great people i really liked them i really liked them with you but i realized they weren't your like people they weren't your person yeah so like it's just hard to find it's so hard it's so hard um what about emotional insecurities like do you ever have insecurities about your personality like how you come off to people i have had an insecurity my entire life that I'm stupid um like I and that's it and we're done I had awkward I had

tank Sinatra on my podcast yeah and he said he has this like recurring OCD thought that he's retarded and no one's telling him that he's retarded that everyone's like no one wants to tell him that he's that's amazing but he actually is that's amazing honestly I feel that I'm sick did you why did you think you're stupid was it because you like didn't do well in school i never did well in school i couldn't read until i was in like fourth grade i think that's the definition of stupid um i still can't do math if you ask me to do the tip on the like bill i will punch you in the base like my boyfriend knows to not ask me math questions or i will get physically mad you get triggered by like i will punch you right now if you try and embarrass me like i can't do change like i can't do

anything um my mom had to call my school and be like please don't ask her to go to the board she will have a panic attack like at math class i could not go to the board i couldn't she's like hey i'm calling about my beautiful daughter page she's beautiful pretty she's gonna be fine did you feel like looks was the only thing you had my mom used to tell me yeah that once i got ugly i should just die my mom used to tell me that success was not indicative of grades and that's Some of the smartest people didn't go to college. It's because they were too smart to go to college, but continue. Okay.

This is when the mom said. She was like, even though you've had a tutor for 4,000 years, and you can't get your grades up, like, still love you. I, when I was little, they thought that I had a, like, serious problem. I looked at the ABCs and I said one, two, three. So my dad started crying. My parents cried and said, I'll just have to take care of her the rest of my life. So, and my brother was like a fucking way. And he's like one of the smartest people I know.

He like wrote all my college papers. Do you think you're smart in other ways? I think that I am very self-aware and like I can judge the tone of a room. I have like street smarts. I also think that you're very funny. And I think people got to see that in Summerhouse. And I believe that funny people are smart because you have to be smart to be self-aware. You have to know your audience.

And being funny is knowing your audience, knowing like what jokes hit. I mean, I make fart jokes regardless, but you're right. There's a nuance to it. Like, I'm not going to make the same joke to you as I would to, like, Perry's mom. But, like, I can get, like, a mom laughing or something, you know? Yeah. So I'm smart in different ways. I was never going to be a doctor, a lawyer.

But you knew that deep down, right? I always knew that. And I knew, like, look, this is the world we live in. And, like, I knew that people thought that I was, you know, a little bit pretty. So, like, I'm going to do something in front of a camera. I was a model. my whole life which like my mom got me into and like reluctantly and I begged her to so I knew there was like something to be had there um did you ever anticipate that reality V would be your

big break no no never like I almost didn't do it because I was so nervous and my dad was like why like just do it didn't your friends judge you yeah I never to my face yeah but there was a lot of chatter when I got Summer House between girlfriends and that's just like look the only reason you're going to talk about someone else is because you're jealous of them so jealousy is a disease get well soon um but yeah girls are mean girls have been mean to me my whole life so like that I just was used to you were in this like kind of like party like they're like oh she thinks she's so good like does she think she's going to get famous because she's not going to get famous like even when I did limited to like girls made up a rumor when I was in middle school that I paid limited to to be in the magazine and I was

like that's not how it works that's insane and people would say to me all the time I got a job at ABC and a girl walked up to me from like my hometown and was like isn't it funny how everything falls in your lap and I was like dude I worked my whole life to get this job yeah yeah so like nothing fell in my I also think that they're up we're in New York City opportunities are every a door is opening everywhere it's what you do with it and I think like you summer house was hard for you the first weekend like people were worried about you people were like this girl hasn't spoken like I guess she's pretty but it's a job it's a job and you had to put yourself out there and you did so well last season because you put yourself out there yeah and you I mean to do

front page news a like when I started that I had 2,000 followers my friends were like she's lost it she's not going to get Instagram famous I was like I just want to try something yeah and like I remember you had like 2000, 3,000, and I was like, oh my God, no one cares. There's so many times where I would like be in my apartment, I'd be like, I'm such a loser. Why do I do this? Like no one watches. This is so stupid. And then when I got Summer House and people were like, I love Front Page News, I was, I wanted to be like, fuck you guys.

But I think everyone I went to high school and it's true that if what you're doing is good, it'll find a way. But if it's shit, I think it doesn't matter what audience is. Like anyone could cast it for Summerhouse and if you don't do well, it does not automatically mean that you're going to have any kind of, or even if you do get fame from Summerhouse, it doesn't mean you automatically get a career. We're going to be successful whatsoever. We're still worried about being successful. I cry every night.

What currently, actually this is a good transition. I rarely have good transitions. What currently gives you anxiety? What makes you cry at night? Actually, this is so on part. The yesterday I woke up having like a full on panic attack. Like I turned to Perry and I was like my heart is racing. I don't know why I'm so anxious.

What gives me anxiety now is that like I'm not doing enough in like a timely fashion. Like, you know, I feel like I'm on summer house for a certain amount of time. There's going to be Instagram for a certain amount of time. I have to like strike why the iron's hot. So I put a lot of pressure on myself to like, okay, I got to like do this deal and I got to email this person back and I should do this now. And like, you know, like I just get really anxious with that when, you know, anything that's meant for me is going to come to me in time and like to not just like stress out about everything. Yeah. And when you're an entrepreneur in our situation, we don't have complete control over things.

We can't just like snap our fingers and have a new job. Right. And there's going to be opportunities too that we have to say no to. Yeah. Like we're dealing with a new thing that people don't talk about is once you get some heat, saying no to shit is actually very smart. yeah to be like a little bit exclusive and it's the other thing of like people are so judgy on instagram so it's like you do an ad or something and they're like oh you like totally switch now you're like an influencer and you're like i'm like let me do you get a lot of hate let me pay my bill

um yeah they're like this is like your instagram's a joke now like you just like do ads i'm like you bought that you don't do that many ads like you bought that makeup remover though didn't you bitch. Speaking of Instagram, let's go to our first game, Instamosity. Do you remember one picture on your Instagram where you looked happy, but you weren't? Yep, I'm going to go to it. Actually, I probably don't look that happy because I don't smile on my pictures because Kanye told me not to.

Oh, actually, I have a few. Probably anyone I was dating my ex-boyfriend because I'd be like, take this picture um would he take it for you instagram like wasn't really that big of a thing no it wasn't but okay so i went to this like event with my ex-boyfriend you look gorgeous dress gorgeous dress she's in a green dress and we were in like california and he had just like screamed at me for something i don't even remember what it was and then he like walked across the street like without me and I'm like in a gown like walking across the street by myself and I remember just being like oh my god I hate that when did you get the photo like after the event I was like take my

picture and then I don't even remember what happens or he took the picture then yelled at the event or he took the picture then yelled at you and walked away no he yelled at me went to the event then took the picture oh oh I have another one oh show me the other one um you were actually there that night I was just this was right before Perry and I started dating oh I I was so over the dating scene. And we went to this, like, exclusive, like, dating party, and it was so awkward and weird. And every guy was worse than the next. I think that what, like, you cried in the bathroom.

Yeah. Yeah, you cried in the bathroom. You have really, she will, like, when I hear Hannah, it's like a certain tone in your voice, will you just go, Hannah, wherever I am, I will be in the middle of a tough fucking match point of a tennis match and I will go running we go straight to bathroom we shot you look at me you start sobbing like I just can't do this and then we talk it out it's about two minutes you get it together you put on your like 100 I'm 100% that bitch look and you walk out I I don't think people realize that if you don't live in New York everyone is Jewish and like everyone I've ever dated is my ex-boyfriend

but whatever any dates I go on in New York everyone is Jewish and like not a big deal for me like okay if you're the person I'm supposed to marry cool I will convert like that does not just I don't care about that stuff and I had dated so many people where like that was the contention it was like well you're not Jewish and like no one will really accept you but you love Jewish guys but like for some reason I love like a Persian Jewish guy or like my mom told me Jewish guys won't marry you yeah they won't and there were so many that I was like this is why like we're not like okay what if you marry a Jewish girl and then she cheats on you and you get divorced, but you married a Catholic girl who's like, loves you.

I feel like religion's supposed to be for happiness and connecting and love. So religion inhibits love. And I had just, I was just like so over that whole narrative. Yeah. And we were at this dinner and I'm sitting next to this guy who I thought was extremely good looking. I remember. And we were like kind of getting along and he said something and was like, are you Jewish?

And I was like, no. And he goes, okay, so like perfect example is like, we could have fun together. but like I'd never take you seriously and it just hit me. And that triggered you. I remember that. And I was just like, wait, what? That's a crazy thing to say to someone the first time you've ever met them. I also think the right person wouldn't do that to you. And I think what the right person doesn't matter what religion, it would be like some

Romeo Juliet shit. Yeah. And like I've also dated people that have been Jewish and were like, I don't really care. Like convert, but like we can have a crystal shirt. But it makes you feel like shit that a guy didn't even take the time to know you, but just looked you up and down and it was like, I would never take you serious. seriously when you didn't even get a chance yeah i've had like got jewish guys be like i would never tell my mom about you and be like okay cool or they're like you're the girl i take home you're not

the girl i marry oh yeah absolutely yeah i'm like okay great so everyone watch out for jewish guys no they're great and they're so fun and i don't know why i love them so much my mom is same she's italian she love jewish guys oh yeah yeah i love a dad bod page and i have like exact opposite taste i love like six five blonde hair blue eyes like aryan brotherhood looking motherfuck honestly i'm gonna set you up with my ex-boyfriend he's like six-pack six four blue he's my type he's like a monster so he's my type yeah he will burn your soul um i'll come out a better person what girls have to do though is like after you date a monster guy like that if girls think he's hot just go up to them and say this is what it would be like to date him i'll walk you through

so you can skip all the mental warfare. He's very different now. He's like 30 now and like has his shit together. Why are you trying to like pawn him off onto me? Oh no, no. If you dated him, I would never be your friend again. Really? My ex-boyfriend who I loved.

Well, what if we got, we brought each other happiness? Had sabotage it. Oh, that's a friend-off. I love a dad bod. I love dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin. This actually was what I was trying to say before, page and I we have same taste in alcohol different taste in men we have exact but to the point that like because if you think the same people are hot you both get jaded by them remember that guy that

i showed you on instagram i go oh my god he's so hot and you were like ew you were like you're like you're disgusting what jersey sure show did he come out of i was like oh my god he's beautiful i'd literally have his babies are right now you're like obsessed with the guy from shaws of sunset mike Like Mike isn't a troll to me He's a troll He's Jewish He's Persian He dresses so good

He would fit in my little pocket No He's like a keychain He's like a gorgeous He's like a bulk keychain I mean Perry's only like 5-9 But we love him We still love him

We still love him But it's great because yeah We don't get clouded by hotness Like if a guy's hot and you're like Is he a good guy's you know I have no fucking clue But if I see one of the guys you like I'm not distracted by his, like, hairiness, and I'll straight up be like, I don't like this,

I don't like that. You're the same with me. I've dated some really ugly people before. Like, they just make me laugh. Like, I don't. Because you like knowing that you're hotter. Yes. You love that.

But I've never been the type of girl that's like, I got to date a really hot guy. Yeah. I've dated people that, like, I just feel comfortable with them. Like, my ex-boyfriend was not really my type aesthetically. But you felt comfortable with me. But I just, but for whatever reason, I love. loved him. Sometimes I get like too insecure with like hot guys and I say stupid things and like I'm like you don't feel like your best self when you're with like the hottest guy but

my thing is I'm either like overly confident with a dude where I feel like anything I go far in his face and he'll love me or everything I say is bad. Yeah that's how I feel. And I can't find that in between. Like I couldn't date guys my age because I would walk in the day and be like I'm so much better than you. Yeah. Didn't guys your age. You're like your brain is completely formed. Yeah. I'm like you're stupid. But, like, older hot guys, I would, like, walk into dates and, like, trip. And I'd be like, oh, God, I hate myself. Yeah, that's what I'm doing right now.

It's what I'm dealing with. But we'll deal with me another time. Okay. Um, next question. Who are you jealous of on Instagram? Hmm. I don't know. Just like hot girls, I guess.

I'm jealous of girls that have, like, perfect outfits all the time. I'm jealous of girls who have, like, oh. You have perfect outfits all the time. Yeah, but, like, okay, you know how, like, people have, like, an Instagram aesthetic? Wait, so you're saying you're jealous of my Instagram. God, no My tweet outfits I'm jealous of girls

Who have like a pretty Instagram aesthetic Like mine's like There's a picture of me in my outfit I think it's cute of you Mine doesn't like flow Yeah but that's like OCD obnoxious Those girls obsess over that You know how long it takes for that to work out

And they would they don't take photos Because they're like oh yellow isn't on brand for me Yeah Like I like the girls that just do like neutrals They're like we don't we didn't like try Why don't you do it then? I know but sometimes I like to wear neon, you know.

Yeah, I think that that's not your personality. Right. And I think, yeah, stop it. But I'm jealous of those girls. Okay, we'll talk to your therapist about that. Would you did a guy with more followers than you? Yeah, I mean, it depends on, like, what he had followers from. What if he has followers for just being really hot?

Oh, I don't know. That sounds terrible to me. It depends on, like, how he also treated me. Although Perry got up to 6,000 followers, and I was like, hmm. He's at 6,000. Yes. I know. You've gotten to DM him.

I've been like, owl? What? Knowing that you. No, but it's girls, I'm like, oh, my God, we love you and Paige. And I'm like, you better keep it that way, bitch. Yeah. You better know. I don't know.

Yes, I think I would because I love, like, a power couple thing. But, like, you like a guy who checks Instagram as much as you do? No. exactly you need to think these things through but like put me in your videos if I get power I do love a power couple but I do love yeah I don't I don't like him obsessing about the same thing

I obsess about you know like I kind of like that Perry is like worried about like the markets or whatever he worries about yeah like if he watches MSNBC one more time I'm like off myself but like what if he woke up and he was like oh the Instagram algorithm is fucking with my followers if my man

turned over in bed and said oh the Instagram algorithm So I would get up and leave. Yeah, I'd have to leave. It's not attractive. But then, like, we could do that. Yeah, but we're girls. I guess because.

And, like, the algorithm is fucked up sometimes. The algorithm is fucked up, but I don't want to. People aren't talking about it. Unless you're talking about the algorithm of the stock market, I will not fuck you. What would make you delete a photo? I don't know the last time I deleted a photo. I definitely have. I've deleted, like, older ones that were like, okay, why did I Instagram?

This is so stupid. The ones with the borders. Yeah, it's like 87 filters. It's like me and my bestie. And your face is just shadow. Yeah, I'm like, I don't need this picture. But why would I delete one? I don't know.

Would you ever, have you ever posted something recently and it kind of bombed? And then you were like, I should delete it. No. I mean, I've definitely looked at pictures and it hasn't gotten as many likes. And I'm like, oh, do people hate me? But I haven't deleted it. Yeah, you just accepted that people hate you. Yeah.

last question how do you think your real identity is different from your Instagram identity I'm a lot more put together on Instagram than I am in real life look at my outfit right now yeah I'm zero what do we call this hairdo that you have on right now homeless chic homeless chic I love that I have no makeup on this is Perry's sweatshirt from a wedding he went to this was the merch but you still like you never look like a complete wreck what advice do you have for girls to like never completely look like a wreck what advice you have for me That's what I'm asking. Please help me.

Okay, so like on days that you don't want to do your hair and you don't want to do your makeup, wear a cute workout set. It's matching. It looks like you did it something, but like you didn't actually. Yeah. And then like I love not. I try and wear no makeup all week. Do you have fake eye left?

Not right now. No. But you. There's nothing fake on me right now. I took my eyelashes off and I took my nails off. You look adorable. Do you feel weird? No, sometimes it's great to rub your eyes.

All I do. But when I have my nails, I like to click them together and beat that bitch. Oh, yeah. How do you feel once you get your nails did and your eyelashes did and your hair did? I will fuck anyone up. Like honestly. I'm not going to say, I will fuck anyone. I'm like, come down.

Come down. You just spoke for 40 minutes about your boyfriend. Calm down. I think it's time to end with the seven deadly sins. You're doing amazing, sweetie. Thank you. Seven deadly sins. This is fun.

It's just like us, though. I know. What are you greedy about? Wait, I want to guess your answer first. Okay. Like getting a good outfit. Like getting a good, like if you're in a store, you're going to get the shirt you want. If I don't have the best outfit, I am mad.

Yeah. Do you remember that one night we went out? Yeah. And you were just so off. And I was like, what's your deal? And you're like, I don't feel my outfit right now. It's why I love Perry so much because he understands that. There's been multiple occasions where he's like, do you want to go home and change?

Will you feel better? And I say, yeah. And he's like, okay, go home and change. Last week to the sauce event, I was late. And he called me and he goes, I rather you be late and like your outfit and be in a good mood, then come on time and be off the whole night. See, I, when that happens to me,

I go to, like, my minimalist outfit where I just wear all black and I'm not, like, upset. Yeah. But you, like, always need to nail it every time. I put a lot of pressure on myself, too. You put so much pressure on yourself. Yeah. Do you have any shopping tips for people in terms of, like,

going into Zara or, like, how do you know when it's, right this is for me also so if i see something in a store and i'm like i don't know if i should get it or not i put it down and if i walk out of the store and i think about it like an hour later i have to go back and get it wow if i pick something else up and like i can all automatically think of three outfits in my head i would wear it with i have to buy it oh so you immediately see something and think of how you would style it yeah like the one time i was shopping with perry actually and I held something up and he was like, I was, he was like, I don't like that. And I was like, oh, but you have no vision.

And like, you have to have vision to shop. And I knew how I was going to style it. And then I wore it. And he was like, wait, actually, that looks so cool. It's the vision. You have to know how you're going to wear a certain item. Because I like to buy separate things that I think are good, but I have no idea how I'm going to wear it and then I don't wear any of it.

You also pack like a sociopath and don't pack outfits. You just pack clothes. I'm like, but where is, what is this matching? I'm like, I love this shirt. I like these pants. I like this. It's not how it works at all. Something went wrong in my head.

Who are you envious of in general? Like really successful. Give me a name. Stop being all general. What about Morgan? I'm so envious of her. I knew I was going to answer all your questions for you. Morgan's do it.

I love her so much. She just embodies everything I want my career to be. She's hilarious. She dresses. Oh my God. Her shoe game. If she listens to this, her shoe game is insane she's on e-new like she's just I love her have you met her before no but she liked

one of my pictures and commented that because I recreated one of her outfits she's amazing style she started on reality TV like I just wanted she did rich kids of Beverly Hills is that it yeah yeah I actually like that show I loved that show she just got a divorce oh from the guy who's losing his hair I'm okay if I ever meet her I was gonna be like I feel like you're like too pretty for him but whatever i feel like they were together for so long they were very best friendy great me and pairing are best friends yeah but i'm just saying she didn't know his hair was gonna go what do you gluttonous about dessert real are you a sweets girl oh my god i'll skip dinner to eat chocolate i feel like in the house you would eat a lot of pizza and like because i mean i would

never get cookies i had to start telling her like can you please get chocolate yeah yeah i love dessert so I have to have like... What's your favorite dessert? Chocolate lava cake. Oh, the temperature, the mixing of the hot and then like the cold ice cream. But I'll also go like sugar like Sour Patch Kids too. Like it depends. Honestly, peach like sour dummies.

Yeah. Are underrated. I'll do all of it. But like my number one is chocolate. I love chocolate. Do you like vanilla ice cream? I love vanilla ice cream. Do you like it more than chocolate ice cream?

Oh, God. It's different. Because, like, if I'm having blueberry pie, I need vanilla ice cream. If I'm having, like, a brownie sunday or something, give me some chocolate. What's your favorite gelato flavor? Pistachio. I knew you'd have an answer for that. It's so fucking easy.

I'm, um... Pistachio is my favorite ice cream flavor all around. Okay. Yeah. I don't know how I feel about that. Because it's, like, a little sweet, but, like, a little salty. Okay. I see that.

Okay. Okay. Um, when is the last time you experienced extreme wrath? So anger. Mm. It's funny because shooting Summer House, like, we both, knew we'd get into like a fight with someone eventually but i was so scared of confrontation and just because we were friends i assumed like you were the same as me i'm like oh we're scared of confrontation

yeah and then jordan started the rumor that you guys were like talking and this bitch lost her damn lost my mind her fingers were everywhere that's when you know i'm mad do you do you think you have like a little spicy anger streak so perry likes to call it my 15 year old girl because like usually I'm very calm in like disagreements or arguments and I'll listen to that person's point but there's like at one point where it will turn I'll just be like you know what and I just freak out full angry teenager yeah also remember when a guy disrespected us we were this is one reason why like I really respect you when we got we had an interview at a we work and we got there and they were like sit here and we're talking and we're an interview

And we go downstairs and there's a guy standing there And he's just like, you guys are so disrespectful For doing an interview in the middle of the we work And we were like, sorry sir, we don't work here, we were just asked to be there And he like cursed at us Yeah He like said and Paige It's like grown ass, like it was like a 65 year old man

And I he was just clearly had like his wife probably divorced him I don't know what his own problem was And you were like don't you dare And she went off on him And I was like I would never have the balls to do that. Yeah. Some people would say you have anger problems, but some people would say that

you are that bitch. You also, you have people who are mean to you in public. Like, girls have been mean to you and you'll snap at them. Yes. I had a girl be mean to me. I think because you're little, little and cute, so people think that you're going to not take it. And like submissive.

Yeah. Summerhouse had just come out. Like I think we had like our first episode or something. And first of all, the number one, way to get me to snap is to say something about my brother or my friends or like anyone I love where my outfit like you could really say whatever you want to me and I'm kind of just be like yeah it's probably true or like I don't care some a girl was out and she was like oh my god summer house like I love that show like do you hook up with Carl I'm like you're gonna have to wait and see

and she goes ew you're honestly disgusting and I was like walking through a crowd and I was holding my friend's hand and I turned and I go honestly just because I'm on TV doesn't mean I won't fuck you up right here I've never touched a human in my life but like the fear of it she was like what and then her friend apologized for her I was like watch your friend's

fucking mouth see people don't know that side to you we're like I'm the like the big Brooklyn talker but like if that happened to me like I would probably be quiet like this girl's annoying where you will snap on someone and I'd have to hold you back I could make someone cry yeah Same.

When was the last time you were a sloth? Like, I mean, I try and do it at least three times a week. You're like, sloth three is my shit. This morning, Perry FaceTimed me, and I was just waking up at 10 a.m. He goes, we went to bed at midnight. How are you still sleeping? I'm like, please don't I talk to you right now? He's jealous.

I love sleeping. Paige and I both love doing work in our bed. Dude, I don't understand why it's like such a bad thing. just sit somewhere else stay in bed like i'm not going to sit up at my kitchen table like a psycho no like people have standing desks get out of my face oh yeah kyle does he loves it it's like i can't trust that stuff no it's funny because i'll feel guilty and then i'll be like let me face time page i know she's still in bed at 4 p.m like on when was the last time you let your pride get in the way of something um a lot i'm very spiteful okay this is a good one perry got me a muffin the other day because he

like it's adorable and I was eating and I flavor corn muffin with butter melted it's my favorite thing and toasted I mean okay um and I would like took the muffin to eat it on the couch and he hates crumbs and he looked at me and he was just like dude the crumbs and I literally was like fuck you fuck this muffin like I'm gonna get crumbs everywhere I'm gonna eat it like and he was like you're a psycho and then I like and he took the muffin from me and I go yeah fuck you on that muffin I don't even want to eat it and I didn't eat the muffin and I regretted it because I was so hungry see that's that's hysterical I'm spiteful this is just something about what paradise really looks like behind the scenes with Perry and Paige when was the last time you lusted over

someone like who's your celebrity crush well I just binge watch euphoria and like Nate could get it. Is it? So he plays like a 15 year old though. Whatever. That's creepy page. Okay, he plays a 15 year old. He's not actually, like 22. Who knows?

But he's very good looking. But celebrity like crushes. I don't know. Like I love Tom Hardy. Yeah, I love Tom Hardy. I love, oh my God. He's my type. Okay.

But he's short. So he's kind of your day. I love there's like a Yankee player that I die for. Who? His number. I think he's like. shortstop I think Derek Jeter no I don't know what his number is I think he's number 12 his name is Tyler Wade yeah I have loved him four years he was like yes and every time he's

on the screen I go please wait because my boyfriend's batting he's so good he just got brought up to oh so you've known him from the minors yes so you're creepy yeah I'm so creepy no because he was on the yanky oh my god he's gorgeous I think he's young though I think he's like 23 okay go yanks yeah um i like to wrap up every podcast they're gonna say i like to rap imagine you just spit a rap right now we're gonna wrap about the yankis a bread on the mats just kidding i don't want to start a whole war what they are um what do you do to cope with your hell what advice would you give to people who are going through a dark time going through hell honestly i just go to sleep to avoid a depression nap you wake up in a different mode or sometimes you wake up feeling

worse you have to just like remember that everyone feels like this at one point you're going to have good days you're going to have bad dude like you just have to realize that like you're this sounds so cliche but like you're not your thoughts like you know but like everyone has like a rough day where they think they're a total loser like I think that all the time and it's funny because in a very short period of time you went from 3,000 followers to almost 200,000 followers yeah how did it change your happiness oh I'm less happy I would say Wow. Why? Because there's so much more, like, Instagram is now a job.

Like, I don't go on Instagram to, like, look at my friend's stuff. I never see my friend's stuff. I never see it. Like, I had to tell my brother, like, you can't tag me in memes. You have to DM it to me because I'm not going to see it. Like, it's just little stuff like that. And then you're, like, worried about the comments and, like, people messaging you. Like, sometimes people comment insane shit.

Yeah, or they message you stuff that's, like, really intense. And you don't have time to respond to all of them. So it's definitely a job. I'm more like self-aware. Like I used to do front page news and not give a shit. Not give a shit. And now I give a shit a little bit more just because like sometimes the celebrities that I do it about will message me or like their friends. And I'm like, oh God, I don't know if that was right.

You're like I need to start pronouncing people's names, right? But what was the question? Oh, but so like for people going through hell know that like you getting more followers is not going to fix your hell. you getting on TV is not going to fix your hell it's still how you survive on your own mind and you're going to be in different places i think getting a therapist like everyone should have one just to like say your problems out loud to someone who's unbiased is like so it's so amazing and she helped what did she help you like understand about yourself but like everyone feels a certain way and you're it's not going to be daisies and roses all

all the time and just to like be authentic to yourself and until I really started making decisions based on what I wanted to do like not to please other people like we're similar in that way we yeah like I would do things just because I knew my mom wanted me to do it or I would do things because I would like oh this will make Perry happy and then you wonder why you're not happy and you're like oh because I know I don't even know what I want to do but once you find that then life becomes a little easier and like give yourself permission to do what you want to do and only giving your energy to like certain things like I don't need to go to this event because like what I'm going to get a picture taken now like stuff like that and it's empowering to know that you don't want to and then

not do it and that's respect for yourself that's love and just like being authentic to yourself and like I don't know speaking your truth that's not a good one I feel like people say that Yeah, people say that. I think they do. On that note, Paige, I love you so much. I love you. You are a literal angel, and I'm so lucky to have you in my life. I've been wanting to have you on the pod for a while.

And I talked about a long time. I know. We talk so much, but I don't stop the flow if it's flowing. Let's go to Zara. Let's go to Zara and shop. Also, follow page at page underscore DeSorbo and follow her outfit deeds, her looks for less, her, what is it? Her, from page news.

And she, what other fun projects do you have going on to promote? You have shit. Well, she's on Amazon. I'm on Amazon Beauty Hour on Mondays, sometimes Tuesdays, three to four. And coming soon, Century 21, you'll be able to get outfit deeds that I put together for you. That's so cool. And also potentially Paige might, we're working on a live tour in November. She might come on tour with me for a bit.

Yeah. And we're also writing a movie. And we're going to. And we have a romantic novel. coming out and we have a line of hats also and we're painting a mural okay that's enough i'll talk to you guys later thanks for coming to hell