Berner Phone - Paulie Calafiore: BDSM & Big Brother

Episode Date: December 23, 2022

Paulie is back on Berning in Hill to discuss the status of his past open relationship, his business moves, his mental health, and opens up about BDSM. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Burning in Hell. Welcome to another episode of Burning in Hell. I'm your host Hannah Burner, where we talk to people about their demons. Is this the first time you've been on? No, this is the second time. I think I was like one of the OG guests. You must have been because I just had it a little...

Four years ago. Deja, Who? Yeah, four years ago. How we've changed and grown and learned and realized things. I think we went back and listened to that episode. Just two dumb-dums. Yeah, we might look at each other and be like, what the fuck were we thinking?

Okay, I have Pauly Califiori on. Well, did I say that? You did. Italian enough? I tried. It was a little saucy. Polly is a reality TV dude, how we started off Big Brother. He's done the challenge, X on the beach.

But he's always just been a. friend of mine, because I met him when I was at Betches a while ago. I think we went over that night on the first podcast, but like, that was, it was at Betches, but it was mainly like, I think it was one of my friend's birthdays. At a bar. Oh, yeah. Hammered. Hammered.

And I didn't even, I wasn't, I guess I didn't know you guys from TV, but I'm like, these guys are like personalities. Like, they're real characters. They're like, yeah, they're like really big on these reality TV shows. I remember my brother that night, too. I met your brother, who's also, like, and he's TikTok-in and shit. So, long story short, we've evolved a lot since then, but we did bond because we both were athletes.

Yes, you played tennis. And you played soccer. Yes. Are you watching the World Cup? I dabbled in wrestling. And you dabbled in, I could see that for you. Yeah. You are a masochist.

1,000%. I feel like I'm also a sadist. Yeah. In a way? Yeah. I feel like I'm a masochist to myself when it comes to, like, training. Yes. And everything, and maybe not always putting myself in the past, in the best positions publicly.

Yes. With some of my mess ups and everything. But yeah, I'm watching the World Cup. Looks like, sure. Yeah, I am watching the World Cup. He's like, yeah, I have a lot of regrets in my life. I am watching the World Cup. Listen, I've been talking to a therapist about it, you know.

I mean, watching the World Cup as a USA fan. I mean, that's just, that's massacism. Yeah, that's massacism. And so come out the first half, like, looking really great. And I'm like, oh, my God, we got a chance. Like, I think we might make them run this second half. I'm just like, yeah, no, that's the USA team that I know and love. Yeah.

Very well. Yes. So. Question. Why are you in Montana? You're living there. Well, actually, I do the snowbird thing now. I'm that guy.

Can you explain? Yeah. So snowboard, I think it's an East Coast thing. Uh-huh. Right? So only, like, East Coasters know the whole snowbird thing. Yeah. Where it's like you stay up here in, like, New York, New Jersey.

like Connecticut, I think maybe like Philly. And then like once it's about to get cold, you go down to Florida. Yes. And then like you spend the rest of the time there until it's about to get ridiculously hot, humid and disgusting with bugs in Florida and then you come back. Yes. So that's what I do in Florida and Montana. Wow. Yeah.

Do you, is your main residence Florida? For tax purposes? Yes. Wow. Look at you, Mr. Businessman. Exactly. Okay, Dave Portnoy. Is it okay to say yes to that?

I'm wondering. You're like, that's a loaded accusation. I mean, listen, I haven't been on Twitter yet today, so I don't know if he's, I don't know if somebody's trying to cancel him again or I don't know if like. He's always in, I can't track. He's always in something. But I know that he's like literally not allowed in the office right now because he's trying to get his Florida location.

Yeah, he's not allowed in the barstool office. But what's Montana like? Uh, well... You have a farm? No. I have... I do have some acres, but I'm just sitting on them. Are you near Kanye?

No, absolutely. Where does Kanye stay in the... I thought he was in my China. Maybe. Yeah, yeah. I think that was like pre-Cardashian, like with the Kardashians, that's not pre. Yeah. Like, while with the Kardashians Kanye, I think that was like his big sky thing.

Although I feel as though, like, after all the craziness he's done, I feel like most people in modern be like, yeah, Kanye. Get out here, buddy. He'd be welcomed. He'd run for governor. We're well welcomed out there. But, no, we're in a Bozeman, but we're in like a townhome, which is now like an Airbnb. So it's like in a city?

So it's in a city. So like there's a downtown, like where we are. We're about like an hour from like the big ski resort. Is she from Montana? No, no, no. Why Montana? Long story short, I think she went out there for her horses. She had horses.

And I think it finally clicked. like, I probably shouldn't own horses in, like, highly populated areas that are, like, cities. Yeah. And maybe go somewhere where there's, like, lands. There's, like, boom, Montana. And then I was like, you know what? Montana seems kind of cool. I think in my head I had this, like, vision of, like, going out there and, like, chopping wood.

Yeah. And, like, you know, doing really cool outdoor stuff. Yeah. You know, like, growing a beard. Just, like, eating squirrels. I don't think squirrels are, like, too. Yeah, like, yeah, squirrels aren't really out there too much. I don't think they survive.

To be honest, Montana is, like, warm for three months and then freezing cold for nine. But you can ski? I mean, you can ski. I mean, I don't ski. I don't like to do that. So that's why, like... I just think it's so funny that a New Jersey Italian is in Montana. Is it safe there for you?

Do they have hair gel? Well, I mean, I will say no hair gel. I found one barber shop. That was good. You got a guy? Because of the way I dress, everybody in Montana thinks I'm gay. so like I like and like the thing is like so out Montana you got to be careful like it's not like the you know the the city gays these are like the fucking broke back mountain like burly man I didn't even know I was getting hit on one time like because we were talking about sports and next thing you know he was like so you want to suck my dick and I was like wow did that really happen yeah yeah 100% wow I was like wait a second first of all why am I why am I the dick sucker why can't you suck my dick Like it came out of nowhere like I swear to God one day like talking about sports and then it was just kind of like so you know I was like man Mike we had a great conversation up until this point that reminds me of when I lived in hell's kitchen in New York City we'd it's like a lot of gay people live there yeah but it would be like a sports bar during the day and at 10 p.m the lights would go off a disco ball will come out and it would just turn into like the best gay party is that boxers?

Boxers was one of them. Okay, Boxers. I almost worked at Boxers when I first moved to Manhattan. You probably would have made good money. Looking back on it, I'm kicking myself in the ass for like not doing it. All the guys are shirtless. Oh, and I love dancing. Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God. Love it. So you're with Cara Maria? Yes. And she's gorgeous, by the way. Such a badass. I've always, I don't, I've never met her. But whenever I saw her on the TV, I was always like she has an edge to her.

Like, she's cool. Yeah. How the fuck are you guys in a. functioning relationship. I mean, it didn't start off that way. I mean, I'm pretty sure our first episode was like right after like just like chaos ensued. But I mean, honestly, like we, it took some time, you know, like on her side of things. I mean, she had been in that world for like 10 years.

Yeah. So it was like very hard to decipher like real life from like game life. Yeah. You know, and I think us, like, kind of taking a step back for the past, like, couple years has really, like, helped with that. But, I mean, like, we were in it. Like, we were in, like, the thick of it. And, like, I was, like, sitting there because, like, on my side of things, I was like, no, I see everything that's, like, going on right here. I said, we need to take a step back, like, relax.

Because you met her on the challenge. I met her on the challenge. But, like, when you're in that stuff, you know, it's a little crazy because everybody, everybody, everybody, everybody, tries to get in your ear. Like I, I don't know. I feel like I'm a very strong willed and strong minded person, so I'm not as open to like manipulation in that capacity. And plus like going on those shows, people act like high schoolers in a way. Yeah. It's a form of high school. For sure. And like when I went in there, I was like, oh, okay, I've already navigated these roads before. Every production team is different, I feel like. Without a doubt, it's aside from

the production team, you know, it's the castmates that are just like, it's weird like the challenge specifically they like to gaslight a lot yeah and they like and I think all of them and you know listen coming from somebody who most people would probably say slightly narcissistic um and I can own that I mean part of me anyone in entertainment is has to be you have to be but I think these challenges take it to a new level yeah of like narcissism um it's past the point of like creating that like confident persona that you need in order to last in entertainment yeah and it's more so like actual narcissism well i do think these characters in reality tv they start creating narratives that like may not be the reality but they know that if like the edit goes

with it then that's the truth and you'll see people just like say stuff over and over again you're like that's not what's happening though they go all in and they'll go all in and to the point that they've lost what the actual reality is and then even when it airs they act like that was the reality and you're like but but but and you understand this now because i mean you've done your fair share of reality tv i mean i did my three seasons i was two for three a main character though like main character character energy but the gaslighting is really fucked up and i i guess i want people to understand too like how it's hard enough being in a relationship in a normal friend group yeah then when it's a friend group where they're all

trying to look a type of way and how and they have a narrative in relation to your narrative Right. Oh, well, I mean, like, it was crazy. I mean, now, I mean, we talked about this last time. I mean, like, my persona is like, it's pretty big, but it's not, it's like controversial in a way. And I like, I like to toe the line of like, you know, am I offending people or am I making good entertainment, right? You know, but to me, like, when I care for somebody, I, I actually, I go all in, like on caring for them, but also like from a protection standpoint and like seeing some of the things. that were like going on with with castmates i was like man this is this is pretty brutal but i i could be a yeah i was like i could be like a safety net so i was like you know what because i would see a lot of these people to attack her right like whether it's you know the game related or you know personal related so i was like you know what i said if i make these people hate me and focus their attention on me because i'm like i'm from this area talking smack is like natural like i became very protective in that manner. So I just wanted to do that. And then that's why I just sucked. Like we had

those things in the beginning of the relationship. You know, my ex coming back, like getting involved in all that stuff. But at that time, it was very real for Cara and I who were like going through like loving each other. But like, you know, all the other people on the challenge and everybody in reality TV that like wanted to like hate us and pounce on us but couldn't because we were like functioning and successful and all that stuff. came out of the woodwork, like people from networks I didn't even hear of were coming out to chime in on our relationship. And it got to a point where we pulled the plug on being in the public eye for a long time. I mean, that's why going to Montana sounds beautiful. Oh, yeah. No, listen. But what you, it's

funny because when you come up, you're like, oh, I want people to talk about me. I want press. And then there's always a moment where you're like praying, please don't have my name in an article today. Like, please keep my name out of your mouths today. Like, I just don't. don't want to be a part of this anymore. And it's funny how when people are doing badly, when you're doing badly, you see who comes out to just stomp on you when you're down. And it's so funny because who disappears. One thing I, yes, people who are just suddenly so quiet.

But now I just look at it and I laugh at the jokes. Like I was out dancing the other night with like my friends from Big Brother, they were on Big Brother 23, like all the cookout members. I was dancing. And like just having a good time. Like I wasn't like breaking out the best moves, but I was just like balling a bit. and they like they got me on video and posted on their story and then obviously second i go to twitter i'm getting tagged like being like oh i hate this guy like fuck him who dances like that

like and i'm but instead of being like oh you guys a piece of shit like come on i'm just like having good time i was just kind of like i was like yeah you're right i definitely also need to lose some weight because your boy i didn't think i looked that thick but now that you got it from that angle like i'm do you ever just not look at the comments honestly i uh i look at the comments but it doesn't affect me anymore because I insert a joke and I think comedy has helped with that well you're taught like yeah like don't let people fuck with you and you go stand up for yourself

but it's like yeah maybe certain things but not reality TV bullshit that's like another level of like there's no rules it's the wild wild west and sometimes like there's a way of being above it but I so you've begun stand up comedy and we've like chatted about it

and why I love it is because laughter is the one thing that's always been there in my life through the darkest times I could always laugh and it's like a safe space for me how did you even realize that you wanted to get involved so I had been saying for like the longest time I was like I need like a

creative outlet again yeah I'm not a good singer me neither you know I play instruments but not to the level that is like needed for you know people make it right you have like a guitar to like hit on girls with that's the only reason why I'm in college no

in your bedroom and you're like i'll play later no no no you just leave it in the bedroom and like oh my god you have a guitar like you play it's like no i'm not really like no not that much come on you have to play i be like no i don't want to i mean if you really want me to i was like and like in college all you got to do is like wait so like everybody's like drunk enough where your voice sounds like you're angelic so it's like you sit there and you're just like performing like every bar like banger that's out there like i wish you it's down So everybody's like, I'm like, no, you know, those are good voice. It's like, no, it's terrible.

No, you're all blackout. Yeah, you can't hear. I'm missing about like five strums every now and then, you know. Do like with that one little like. No, yeah, I have no musical, nothing. So that's why I went into, like, I always thought about comedy and I would always like sketch jokes down like while I'd be running and while I'd be exercising. Like I would, you know, I'd be like, oh, that's kind of a funny scenario.

Like, when I'd be driving, I'd be like, oh, that seems like a funny scenario. like and I always like loved watching comedy since I was a kid like SNL in the glory days you know incredible were like what I watched every weekend my parents allowed me to watch it as a baby um and then I started going to this comedy club in Montana for open mic night and I saw all these people like going up there and like they were very confident and like you know and like they just didn't give a shit and I was like sitting there and I was like man I've been an emcee for like since I was 16 years old. I'm very comfortable on microphones. I know how to be in front of an audience. I've just never done this. I said, you know, like if these people have the courage to do this, I'm going to have

the courage to do this. Otherwise, like, my whole brand is a sham of like awakening in the line, which is, I'm very embarrassed about that email still, by the way. Yeah. So I use humor to not be a buzz kill in the room, but also be able to be like, hey, I know you guys, like, might look up to, you know, my career or you might feel alone right now, but I'm here with you. Like, we're in it together. Yeah. Because you've had highs and lows in your career. Has being away from reality TV helped your mental health?

Honestly, like, I think my mental health has always been, on Big Brother, it wasn't good. And I think that's what, like, really made me have to face the demons that I had. that I never faced before. It was Big Brother. What was going on? I just, I mean, like, let's just, I mean, going from Division I, to professional sports to then getting injured, and that all gets ripped apart, and you don't have a plan B, you know? And your whole identity was attached to that, your whole value, your purpose and life.

Everything, everything. Like the vision, your 10-year plan, and all that stuff that you put together, it was ripped. and then rather than dealing with it there and like living in my feelings and living in my moment I ran away from the sport because everybody was like well you know what like you could still come back you know fix this injury like you're still touted here like you become a coach like all this stuff and rather than like facing what was going on in that moment and just going I ran so I moved to New York City I got a 9 to 5 job I was working in a gym before and afterwards work teaching Kravmega and then I was working as a promoter at clubs and I was working as an

emcee on the weekend for bar and Bob Mitch was so you were running from your I ran away from everything I didn't want my I didn't want my brain to think of anything other than work work work money money yeah boom boom yeah and I did that all the way up until I went on big brother and in big brother like when you have that much time gone because it's not you know like it's crazy everything rushed and hit me at once and it really didn't truly unravel for me until my game was about to be like up. You know, so like everybody sits there and, you know, the biggest thing that everybody makes fun of me from Big Brother about is, you know, I cried when I saw a butterfly. I had a meltdown the week that I was getting evicted. And, you know, I had to bake pies and I was like crying

while I was making pies and everything. But what people don't realize is I, that was four years of like, and you know, there was other things that had happened to me like in my early 20s when I first moved to New York. There was four years of like unpacked stuff that I had never spoken to anybody about unraveling in real time on live feeds 24-7. And to me, that was like an extremely vulnerable moment for me. and it wasn't met with vulnerable compassion about what I was going through because up until that point I was playing the game the way I compete in sports like a savage.

So people almost didn't look at me as human at that point. And then once again, as soon as that show was over, I started talking to a therapist, but rather than dealing with any of those things because I was getting attacked so much from that moment, and now I can't say it. I got a lot of love, but I equally got as much hate. Whereas some people either get all hate or all love, like my brother, all love. I was like equally loved it. Was he on it with you?

He was on two years before and then two years after. That must be hard though seeing like your brother who's like your best friend who like have like different experiences. Well, I mean, I was realistic, but I never felt and that's why I also don't care. like when I see stuff going on in the game I'm like listen these are real people because the one thing I also don't like is I would big brother alumni are terrible for this is everybody goes through that same experience and they'll all come off and whoever gets makes a mistake or whatever they all cry and they all plead to the fans and be like we're humans like let us show you that like we're humans and everything but then those people are the first ones to turn around in the next season attack and do it and this it's this vicious cycle and like so I never did that and I never did it after I was on the show. Like, I try and be supported. After reality TV, I, like, whenever I see someone going through in the public eye, it's, like, so easy to pile on.

I almost feel like reality TV people pile on other people because it's, you become popular. Like, if it's cool to hate someone, you start hating, and then people think you're more likable because you're all hating the same person when, like, it'll be you the next day. It's so fucked up. Karma is a, karma's a bitch. It will come back to you. So I've never watched my season of Big Brother. Never went back and watched it.

That's smart. Because it was traumatic. Which ultimately I've come to grips and I've looked back at the moments being like, you know what? That's kind of on me because I didn't address my demons the right way prior to going on. But ever since then, like, I have always been the person that, like, I could watch, you know, the challenge stuff and see people talking smack in these confessions. I laugh about it because I look at it like sports. I'm like, hey, we don't like each other while we're playing the game. game but after the game's like yeah whatever you know what i mean yeah i don't i don't need to be friends

with people yeah i don't need to be friends with them yeah but like i don't need to also then be like fuck you dude like i'm i give back what people give me so like if if somebody says something or somebody goes off on twitter but then like reaches out to me and it's like hey bro like twitter beef huh i'd be like no no no no no no no no no no you really type that out so like don't yeah come to me and be like no we're cool yeah they'll be like oh like producers are oh like this is funny i mean the bad part is when you legit have other people on your cast trying to like actually destroy your life and that's when i was like i'm good i'm good with this shit yeah but this is like kind of fascinating though because i'm in a similar place where like with tennis i had to find what like creative shit i want to do after

it even though deep down you that little girl always wanted to be a professional tennis player and you're like so fucking close and then you i realized i just was like this isn't making me me happy but with your mental health stuff what are you currently working on right now me yeah i mean i'm i'm doing november for this month with the mustache i think i might keep it afterwards yeah i mean it doesn't look bad i'm not upset it plays well doing stand-up comedy because i think i'm like so intense or at least people think i'm very intense yeah um and i have a scorpio gaze so like when i'm scorpio so like when i'm doing stand up and I'm like looking and I make eye contact with somebody I feel like they're kind of like

dude you have to see my husband do stand up because he's from Queens and he's a Scorpio and he has like the best energy on stage but he's also like he's a big guy so like he'll like be really intense enough to be like I'm but fucking joking yeah I'm joking but like you would I feel like you'd get

his energy really well no Scorpio's just understand each other yes and you're also Loki psychic yes we are right we read people like better than anybody else Oh my God, I, if, if, we're never wrong. I, my father's a Scorpio, he's never been wrong. Dude, this is the problem.

I found this guy who like, it's normally like happy wife, happy life, but like he's always right and I have to like use to it. But I'm like, if someone's charming and funny, I'll trust them with my life. Right. Where he'll be like, I don't like that person. And I'm like, what's wrong? And I'll be like, I don't like him. Three months later, they do something like fucked up shit.

We sense energies. It's a weird thing. It's benefited me when I've played these games. like on the challenge i see plays before they happen yeah it was good for me as an athlete because i would see plays develop yeah and i'm very we're very good at like um like the observation aspect of it like we break down everything like body posture eye contact language how your voice inflection when you talk to us like it's a i i almost feel like all scorpio should either be like FBI like CIA or like lawyers you know what i mean my best friend page is also

Scorpio. I'm Scorpio Rising, so I have a little bit of it. Well, I'm glad you found somebody over six foot because you always talked about that. Actually, I'm over that. He actually was one. He was like, yo, you have to stop with this shit. But I had this, like, I had this mentality. So short kings are okay now. Short Kings are, it's about energy. You heard it here. You have, like, like, tall man energy. Yeah. But the thing is. But I'm not tall. You're not tall. But you're like, you're strong. Yeah, yeah. No one's like, oh, you little pipsqueak. Like, listen, when I go to Italy, I'm like, The tallest guy.

Like, I'm Sicilian. I go around the other Sicilians and I'm like, I'm looking around like, yeah, that's right. Tall people can be shitty too. I just, I felt like guys were always had all these things they could, you know, make girls feel bad about their body for. So I kind of was like using it right back at them. But then I realized that's not the energy I want to put into the world. But it was funny while it lasted. And it's like, it's unnecessary.

I mean, there are some short guys that have a fucking problem with. I mean, yeah, I mean, as, as you should. Like, not everybody's fucking amazing short king. Like, there's some fucking Napoleon's out there. There's some deputies out there, for sure. Like, that's so funny. I mean, I feel like everybody should be able to take a joke. Yes.

Like, listen, I've been, I was the same height I am now in eighth grade. So, like, imagine the mental, right? Like, I was the tallest person ever. That's why you've tall man, energy. Yeah. So, like, but, like, I know, like, I know why I stayed short because my brother's, like, six foot. Uh-huh. I continued to wrestle until I was like 18 my brother

Stunted your growth without a I mean wrestling stunts your growth like it does yeah it does Why because I mean like you're hunched over like your back is always saying you're getting slammed You're slamming people that sport is so fucking intense yeah you have to be like a compact little ball Yeah but being short to me when you get to high school and college and all that stuff like everybody oh yeah like little bitch like whatever but it's always in an athletic sense yes So like wrestlers and like soccer players would say that stuff to me and I'd be like well I mean, you could say I'm short all I want. If I outperform you, like, your height really has not giving you an advantage where you should be. Yeah.

Yeah. And like, from a martial arts standpoint, like, I'm like, not jujitsu. Jiu-Jitsu, the tall guys are like savages. Yeah. They have the long limbs. They could get you and stuff that. Yeah. I mean, like, dude, I got like a little tree trunk legs.

I can't like be trying to get a six foot four guy in like a frigging triangle choke. It's okay. Unnecessary. You don't need triangle chokes in real life. But exactly. In fake life, though. That shit is awesome. No doubt.

But, like, I liked always being, like, compact and explosive and strong. Yes. But, yeah, those things never affected me. But, like, because I always found it funny because in the challenge, believe it or not, I'm, like, one of the taller guys. Yeah. Aside from, like, you know, the CTs and, like, the Leroy's and everything. But, like, I'm the same height as, like, Johnny. Yeah.

Like, all these guys. But Johnny would walk around the house and be like, midget. And I'd be like. Wait, was Johnny mean to you? We were mean to each other. Like we, you know, we went at each other. So once again, he's from Long Island. I'm from New Jersey.

We're both Italian. You guys, I feel like are so similar. Because I know Johnny and I get very similar energy from you guys. Johnny and I get along most of the time. Yeah. However, if you put to like... Do you think you're similar? Huh?

Do you think you're similar? Did I say that like five times in like a... No, no, no. I'm affirming it. Like, when you put the same person... I have a bad habit of like being like, we're similar. No, like, totally similar. And, like, say, like, ten times you're like, what?

I mean, when I first came on the show, everybody was comparing me to him. Because I played the mind games with people. I was very good at dailies. I was, you know, charming, charismatic, but also, like, stab you in the back if I needed to. And I think he hated that. Yeah.

So, like, him and I have had, like, a tumultuous relationship where it's, like, on the show, like, while we're filming, we're, like, super close to each other. Super whatever. And then as soon as we're off the show, he'll like hate me yeah and i'll like i'll go up to him like i'll see him in person thinking we're still cool from the show yeah be like no fuck you dude and i'll be like i'll be like fuck me well fuck you dude and then it turns into like this whole like freaking battle and then you know we start

exchanging insults and then next thing you know we're not talking but then we'll like me again be like that was we didn't we didn't need to go there huh we're like i think you know so similar and i think that's always not always room for the two of you well it's tough because Like, you know, if we're both on a season, who gets the storyline, whoever lasts the longest. And I think he hated that I always had the storyline on his seasons because I lasted longer. That's not a sex job. That's some competitive shit. And once again, that's fear.

It's like everything, right? Why do most people don't go and do stand-up? They're afraid to get up and, like, fail in front of everybody. So we stop ourselves through fear of what a reaction is going to be. and then we go and do something, you know, outside of it because we are no longer thinking about the other person in their brain. We're only thinking about ourselves and our urges. And what most men don't realize and I think it's getting better

is that the highest form of discipline is being, and why we're humans and not animals is being able to control those animalistic urges. And it's also like, even from a woman, like I think dudes are hot. I think, oh, it would be fun to fuck that dude. but it doesn't mean you have to do it. Because, yeah, what is doing it actually do besides a temporary high that does not equate to happiness? Right.

Well, it's, you know, I think also like once I, because I cut out alcohol completely out of my life for like five years now. Oh, are you sober right now? Yeah. I mean, I never had a problem like drinking wise. My husband's sober. Yeah, but, you know, and I was just able to focus. Yeah, I never, I never did drugs.

But when I looked at it and I was like, oh, like, the temporary. like temporary social I drink so now I'm temporarily social these are like temporary highs these are temporary things and I think once mentally you become so disciplined that like your life is your own high you know I used to think like that in order to keep a girlfriend

I had to have like sex with like five times a day you know what I mean like that was my mindset so like I would sit there I'd be like all right we're done like hey that's the story you've told yourself that you have to be this like hypersexual masculine give them everything they want all the time exactly and um and like well she's like he literally will not so trying to have sex with me and i'm like take a break

yeah well like car says that to me now she's like paul i need a fucking rest she's like or we need to tag somebody in here like i need i need a substitute vagina here how has she helped with your mental health um i don't know if she has it's like no i'm not saying that to be condescending i'm saying it in a way that like if you really challenged you in the beginning oh my god um she's definitely she's challenging because we just come from two different spaces she was never an athlete so when it comes to business

and we run business together right so when it comes to business like we just look at things two different ways you know what I mean like I extremely efficient you tell me how to do something one time it's done and guess well I'll innovate four different ways

to fucking do it you know what I mean because like that's in sports like they teach you the front hand right but then you got to like start oh if i hit it like this against this kind of spin if i slice it like that like that's you right and you put your own twist on it right so that's just embedded and uh you know she's a very like here's how to describe her she'll go on amazon put a hundred things in her in her fucking thing not buy a single thing and not just for like a week honestly relatable for months for months on end she's manifesting

manifesting she already put it in the cart you know what I mean whereas like I know what I want I put it in the cart I buy it you know what I mean but it could be a nice balance of yin yang it is no that's what it turned into

a great balance of ying and yang two people who are super like catch it done like that's a lot of that's you and Johnny together listen we have never been teamed up on a show

and he seems to be doing that with all of his rivals has his storyline for the past three seasons which I find boring but if you're gonna become friends with one of your rivals at least make it the guy that is dominant and you could teach me how to win finals Oh look at this like trash talk happening Are you in an open relationship?

We are However we are closing that off Oh Can you please explain this journey to our listeners Explain the journey I mean, like, we just, we always, like, having fun. You started off open? We started, yeah, we don't need to go to the...

We started off open, which is why the whole freaking... Drama? No, the whole drama thing made no sense to me. Yeah, because you were in an open... Because, like, when my ex tried to come back and everything, I was, like, talking to car, I was like, how are these people convincing you that we weren't in an open relationship for the first, like, three months of us staying? Like, this is wild to me.

Had you been in an open relationship before? Yes. So when I first moved to New York, that's when I was introduced to this one. world and this life and everything like that. And that's where I got into like my kinks of like BDSM and all that stuff. But that's a conversation. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We talked about this the first time. No, we did not talk. We totally did. We totally did. We feel like we did. Okay, what part of BDSM do, like to being the dominates are going to dominate? I'm the dom. I'm the dom. Oh. Yeah. I'm Scorpio. I know. Like I like, come on. The bedroom is my kingdom. So did you just like meet a person who was like,

let me show you the ropes, no pun intended. Literally. And then you were like, fuck yeah, I like this. Yeah, I was like. How do you introduce it in a new relationship? Sorry, I was thinking about like, you just leave a trail of hints, you know? No, because I'm like to tie a rope to the doorknob when they walk home and they just like walk with the rope into the bedroom. I feel like I'm too awkward for kings.

Like I would be like, what are you doing that? Like I would like beat like I couldn't be in the moment with it. I feel like, I mean, there's. tons of kinks like i i find out kinks like all the time like i thought that you know like i thought being vocal in the bedroom is just like a thing yeah i didn't realize that like that was like a fetish for girls yeah like they love like the the vocal yes you know like especially if you have a good voice yeah and like because it's it's it's like double affirming affirmation that you're into it and like hearing him express it is like the double affection right so like that's a kink so you have a kink yeah i'm so

King King's just classic King's So how do you start Like when do you tell the girl you're into it? There's a nuance to it okay So I mean it's just one of those things where like you just have to have a conversation like but What I like like I can be passionate? No not second date absolutely not Fourth date? No like you got to be like dating Oh

You know like you need to be like dating like sorry I have so many questions listen some girls are into like right away like yes choke me You know like oh so they like almost the up sex thing is like a thing but like for like for girls can you tell the first day if a girl is going to be into being submissive yeah do you think i'd be into being submissive yes I mean like why he's scorpio I'm really breaking this down yeah we are oh my goodness why do you think I'd be into being submissive because I'm assertive in real life actually I'm not no it's not because, I mean, you are assertive in real life to a certain extent. You don't reach a level of success without being assertive.

I'm going to go get it, but I'm not assertive. I'm going to go get it. Well, I mean, if I'm being honest, it's something that is given off from like your aura in a way. And like your eyes, give it away. My sad eyes. Yeah. They're not sad eyes. They're just kind of like, I'd be all right with this.

Now you're making them sad eyes. Okay. You can't make a sad eye out. I'm down to be like submissive, but I definitely have to be very comfortable with the person. Like some girls like, like random dude, they could be like, you fucking slut. Like, yeah, and they love it where I'd be like, excuse me. It's a little much. Yeah, but I, but it's also. I don't even throw around the S word.

I don't even go there. I also. Yeah. That's a great. You fucking whore. No, like your fucking dad is disappointed in you. Oh, God. That's another level.

Like, honestly, if a chick told me, listen, all right, I've, I've, I'm, there's nothing that you can say that I haven't done or tried or whatever, but I have my limits. Yes. Well, what's the most kinky shit you've ever done? We're not going here. It's out on podcasts elsewhere. I'm pretty sure we talked about this on our first one. No, we didn't. Are you sure?

Because, like, this is, you know, that. Polly, we've known each other forever. Forever. But this, I don't know. This could be one of those things where it drops and you're going to be like, Oh, sweet. Jesus. Like, I'm being serious. I'll say it.

Say it. I'll say both. Both. I mean, they're... Okay. Everybody knows kind of the story of, like, you know, one of the first times that Carr and I... I don't know of it. Okay.

Well, it was said on many a times, but I guess we'll go over here. Am I re-traumatizing you? No, no, no, no. I mean, I enjoy this stuff. Oh, yeah, he's into it. He's actually into this. So she, you know, we were going at it. And she, in the middle of us, having sex, I told her, I said, stay right here.

And I went into, it was a hotel bathroom. I went into a hotel bathroom and I broke the glass in the bathroom. And I came and I said, don't move. And I just held it up to her neck. and made her come while I was fucking her and then took it away and yeah so she was really into it

a lot of people have been really into that it's something called edge play edge play did she leave it all? It's like a little blood? No no no no no however second story I have like kind of like a vampire esk fetish-ish

and so one time with a girl you know I had the fangs I kind of have like good incisors whatever but yeah you know I bit the neck drooled it into her mouth and everything wow

yeah that reaction just I don't I don't break those out too many times no I love it no because I'm gonna tell you I am vanilla as shit in bed yeah like

like when I first moved to New York like I'm telling you they opened my eyes no there's a whole underworld and I was fascinated by it Yeah, I'm fascinated by, like, even these, like, Wall Street dudes who just want to get, like, the shit beat out of them, like, by Julia Fox in, like, basements. It's fucking hilarious. And, but I'm fascinated.

I guess, like, I either have not even, like, found that side to me, or maybe I'm just boring. Like, no, you're not. Like, I, so I was a passionate lover my entire life. Yeah, I mean, we're Italian. We're passionate. Italian. I'm a Leo. I was very.

You get it. You get it. I'm fucking lying, bro. our fucking lines. And now we tied it all together. No pun intended. Tie my hands together. Awake the lion. No pun intended. Oh, my God.

I was very passionate. Like, a lot of kissing, like, love the oral play, like everything. Like, I'm a giver. Scorpio. When I came into New York and I was like, huh, you know, because the most I had done prior to moving in New York was like, I don't know, like maybe a fucking ass mac here.

some light choking and um you know and what i moved into new york once again it was after a breakup so i was like heartbroken yeah and i was like man i'm tired of being heartbroken like i just love these girls so much i bring my guitar to their work sing their favorite songs i make passionate love to them and nobody wants to stay with me and then i got introduced to this world and i was like oh this is like kind of transactional sex in you know like the group setting like the fucking tying up like the the different kinks and fetishes and i was like like like, oh, I was like, this is like fucking Disneyland of like sex. So you went from being like so overly emotional with stuff.

Yeah. To being transactional with it. Yeah. Have you been able to find that middle ground? Oh yeah. No. Me and Carl, like I give her, I give her like a half and half, 50, 50 split. What does that mean?

Like a 50, 50 split. So like, you know, I try to keep her on her toes. So she doesn't know what she's going to get. She doesn't know what she's going to get. She might get like that passionate slow stroke, you know, some like positive affirmation whispering in her ear or she might get like fucking tied up pounded and then things said to her but i mean come on like i have a question no i'm very into this i have a question because like i'm married we're gonna burn in hell we are no shit we're married like doesn't i

so we'll be like you know in our pajamas watching tv or whatever and i'm like do you want fuck he'll be like and he'll look at me and he'll look at me and he'll think and he'll be like yeah I could have sex right now and I'll be like okay and he's like and then we just like walk to the bedroom so that's like I'm trying to envision like how you guys you're like

oh she doesn't know what she's gonna get where does not allow it'd be like hey it's been like three days should we have sex because like well how do you guys turn it into a fucking dungeon like how do you get it going because you can't just be like hey do you want

have sex and she's like okay next to you know she's all tied up yeah i mean like you know you don't want to do that every time right you know like you know you got you got to warm it up a little bit yeah yeah you got to warm it up a little bit you know and then you just got to be like i'm about to tie you up you're like sitting across the dinner table you make i kind of tech and you're like you want to get tied up and yeah I mean it like really depends because like if we're sitting across at the dinner table like I may just like if I'm feeling it

I may just like grab it right there I really hope her fucking just don't listen to the shit bend her over the table like eat her out from the back and then just take it right there and be like all right you know it's like you change it up every night dinner yeah that's dessert

yeah do you guys have an only fans together not together so I was one of only fans like first creators Shut the fuck up. Reality TV people slammed me for it. How did we miss this? I was like one of only fans, like, first creators.

And when I came out and said I had one, every reality person like dogged me. And they were like, they were like, anybody that subscribes this page is a loser. And they were like, you're rich, rich. Wait, if you still have it? So I still have it. But I also, I run a very successful

OnlyFans management business. Okay. Okay. And events. And, you know, full service agency. So, like, I help produce podcasts and build websites and everything. Do you have any advice for people to have a successful OnlyFans? Treat it like a business.

Be consistent. Be consistent. Work hard. Work hard. Be creative and all that stuff. Or, you know, you can sign with us and we'll do it for you. Wow. So you do, like, production and shit?

We do everything. Yeah. And not just, like, for OnlyFans stuff. Like, you know, I put together a boxing event. We have a carnival event that we're doing down in Brazil and we got DJ. Dude, what the fuck? Listen, I hustle and silence. Are you in it with Kara?

Yeah, so Kara is a photographer. So Kara shoots everything. That's why, you know, we've kept everything mainly secret because with the nature of, like, reality TV people, I didn't want any clients to be turned off of signing with us when we have a superior product. Yeah. Because people are like, no, don't do it.

Literally, every single person that made fun of me for having an only fans started an only fans. Yep. and tried to brag about how much money they made in their first month. Yeah. And then after that they've made like nothing because they have no concept of, yeah.

Did you show your slong? Um, so you did. Well, so let me preface this and just say that, you know, maybe there was a Reddit thread that I just, you know, maybe dropped something and or as a marketing strategy. Wow. Yeah. But I have a full legal team

So like everything gets scraped for all of our clients Like me Everything gone all the time But for purposes of being recasted for reality TV shows Nothing is ever shown But a lot of people do show their stuff So it'd be totally okay if it was being shown And especially if you have it

If you have a hammer Okay Let it show or use it Also if you're so like Free with your sexuality anyway It's like why the fuck not like make money and be in that and also I love the gays yeah I love talking to them on a daily basis same everything same I mean it's affection is affection affection affection is affection

Polly you're fucking amazing we're out of time I love it is on the BDSM only face that's how we did this I think we got what we wanted I love how it slowly it was like an orgasm we climax at the end. Speaking of only fans, because I'm well respected in their company. I'm one of their top agencies. They take good care of me. They will be sponsoring the soccer team that I'll be playing

in the ESPN tournament with with my brother. That's fucking amazing. So you're getting fit and ready for this ESPN soccer tournament with celebrities? Yes. So you're about to whoop some ass? I'm going to you know, yes. Yes. I've heard talks of some people who might be

on some teams and best believe I will be Quebec? Yes, and I will be talking a lot of shit. Yeah, yeah, that'll know anything about him, but I... I mean, he's young, that's what he's got for him, he's young, but I mean, you were professional, and you're getting back, are you, are you on the field? I'm on the ground, drills. You don't, you don't lose it.

Wow. Now I just need to lose the weight. Yeah. Because I need to be at least like 16, 175, 170 being out. How much you have to lose? About like 15, 20 pounds. Look, I had the tiger. You could do it. I have the tiger. Don't use Ozzy. Wake the lion. Not good for you. Don't use what? OZmpic. It's a whole thing.

I need to catch up on this kind of things You see this is it Okay Polly Where can people follow you Where can they go to your only fans You know Harry Jousy had a only fans And he never told me I've had him on My podcast multiple times

Bro he murders it So there's a there's a agency That flies him out to bang their girls To get their girls like more money I like listen On their only fans I know everything Yeah

I know everything of that world Is that supposed to be public What That he's going out banging girls for their only fans I mean, I'm pretty sure they promote it On their own, like Channel He is a little dumpling

He's a little foreskin He's wilds I'm sure he has foreskin Because he's Australian Right? I mean I think I'm pretty sure they're uncut

I forget In those regions I forget Australian men are feral I try to stay away from them Wow, okay Okay anyway I've always found him charming Oh he's amazing

And he's also a fucking businessman He's smart No I mean yeah He's smart No, I mean, and he's got, like, people love him. Did I ever tell you I showed up to our podcast, like, late, like 20 minutes late? Because I assumed he was going to be late. And I got there, and he was on time perfectly waiting.

Yeah. Super, just, like, so nice. And I was like, I'm going to be honest with you. I thought you were going to be late. Yeah. And, like, since then, he's just been, like, a really good friend. I've never open mouth kissed a man before. Yeah.

But I feel like sometimes when I've watched clips of him and he, like, does that, like, little smile after he says something with his accent and, like, kind of looks at whoever's interviewing him. I'm kind of like, if I was interviewing this guy, I'd ask him to kiss me on the mouth. This is why you're so good at reality TV. You have the fucking snippets like down, the one-liners. I'm like, nope, that's a clap. Yep. Wow. So, yeah, everyone, Folly-Polly, Polly, Folli-Polo on Instagram.

Yeah, I'm at Paul Califuri underscore on everything. Yep. Including my only vans. But that's neither here. How often do you post on OnlyFans? I'm not giving away the sauce, man. Sorry. I'm not going to give away the secret sauce.

If you want to start one, I mean, I'd be happy to, you know, chat biz. We'll talk later. We'll see how the comedy goes. I always thought that it would be funny to have a porno, like, with comedy in it, like, actually funny. Kind of like Zach and Mary make a porno. Or Dave and Mirry make a porno. That was a hilarious movie. Well, yeah, because, like, you know, I'll sometimes lose my lady boner because of, like, how brutal the acting is.

I'm just like, be normal. Take some improv classes. I always wanted to like create terrible porno So like Or like funny because it's so bad Maybe you'll also see me open up for Hannah one of these times Because she's killing it in comedy

And I'm just hoping I thank her I seriously do thank you Although like your little tip bits Like in taking the time to like actually watch Like my shitty like stuff And be like that was actually pretty funny But also try this Like I think one of your main things

You're just like dude you fucking move around So the last stand-up I did like in Chicago I just stood still and I didn't move. So I was like Hannah taught me. Stand-up is about experimenting with like the negative energy. Like as in like when you're comfortable with silence on stage. Yes. comfortable with not moving.

And that stuff that's- I love figuring that shit out. Yeah, like me and you, we love the energy. I run around all over the stage. But it's finding when you're quiet. I watch your clips and I crack the fuck up. Thank you, babe. Yeah.

No, like you're serious. I'm not just saying that, but like you are killing it on like everything you're doing. And I'm glad that you are winning the war. yeah you know winning is something that you make up in your head and it's all by perspective and I'm still learning on what means getting a W in this life did you did you get that from the Dalai Lama himself bernay brown I'm always blaming of bernay brown for some quote um what were you going to say did you say it about what I don't know we have ADD yeah we both have we both have ADD it's definitely not the best follow on Instagram only fans

TikTok, Twitter Pauli, we love you so much and thank you for coming to hell. Talk to you soon. Bye. Love you more. Bye.