Berner Phone - Paulie Calafiore: Love Triangles & Making Mistakes

Episode Date: December 18, 2019

Former professional soccer player and reality tv bad boy met Hannah on a drunk night. Hannah asks if he’s ever had a threesome with his brother, why he is a bad boy in the press, what he doesn’t like about bachelor nation, how he and Danielle Malby ended, why he enjoys open relationships, how to get invited to NYC sex parties, how his soccer career ended, being motivated by failure but driven by success, the scariest thing he did on the challenge, his relationship with Cara Maria, why he has such a chip on his shoulder, how he got bullied in high school, why he was never afraid of being the villain, what he has learned about getting publicity, and the hardest part about dating in the public eye.. JOIN PATREON FOR JUICY BONUS EPISODES --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm just choking. I'm like, I was about to have a witty comment. I'm like, I never, I'm dying. Welcome to Burning in Hell. Anyway, what's up, guys? Welcome to Burning in Hell. I'm your host, Hannah Burner, and we're with Pauly Califiori. Say it right?

You said it right. Even out of the Italian accent, you know, I almost wanted to come in with the Italian accent, but you nailed it. We can talk in the Italian accent all you want. It's all right. So this dude, Polly, was on Big Brother Season 18, the Challenge Season 32. He's been having sex with a lot of different reality TV stars, and now he's trying to have sex with me, but we'll see what happens. Welcome. Can I just say, I love how you were so.

serious for the intro where you're like welcome to burning in hell and then it transitions to he's having sex with a lot of girls we're probably going to have sex after this rekindle some old flames and uh and that's it i'm glad we're on that level okay let's discuss how we meet how like how did we meet it we're so it was a birthday party okay my boy corey invited me to meet you it progressed you know and then it was like let's make out and I was like let's see how this night goes it wasn't a no like it wasn't a no but you were just like are you fucking kidding me like what because i'm not hot enough and i was like no i was like i actually think you're attractive like tennis player love the booty great body like it's all looking

great but like you know like i wanted to be the one being like yo let's make out but you took that from me and i was like and i was like i was like wait hold on let's see and then it just completely backfired we never had sex and i feel like i must have been fucking with you. You were totally fucking with me. Okay, because I would never, like, get mad at a dude for not making out with me. You were, like, real mad. I probably was, I was, like, actually mad.

No, no, no, no. You, like, walked away, and then you came back and you're like, I'm fucking with you. And I was like, okay, good. Because, like, I wouldn't actually kiss the guy under 6-2. You know that. No, I know. You've made that very clear. It shot down my hopes and dreams.

I think you said that that night. My response was, look, I'm not 6-2, but if you're on your back or all fours, there's only one size that matters, Hannah. And I got you. I think I vaguely remember you saying that to me and thinking, like, wow, he is a ginormous dick. What's funny, too, that night was wild. Like, people were crying, people were laughing.

It's so funny that you, I feel like there's a lot of guys out there that think I wanted to fuck them because my way of flirting is, like, being very outward. And then, but not, like, being serious with stuff. Like, I'm more, some girls, I think, will low-key. like really want to fuck you and be like kind of you know shy about it we're like I'm not like fuck on the first day I meet a guy kind of girl yeah but I like to pretend I am right and then I get scared like I would if you actually were like yeah it's going the bathroom I'd be like oh my god

stop I'd be like no see I get it you know I feel like I give off the I'll fuck you on the first night yeah so then I want to have fun with you and then when you actually like yeah you know my dick's big I'd be like but I don't want it right now can you imagine if that's actually what I would say, be like, yeah, you know my dick's big. Like, if that ever worked, I think I'd get afraid. If I was like, yeah, you know my dick's big. And they're just like, let's go. I'd be like, well, what the fuck have you been seen?

Have you and your brother ever had a threesome together? Yeah, you have. No, we haven't. So the reason why it didn't happen was because I was in college. He was a senior in high school. He was at one of my college parties. It would have been essentially a foursome. The girls were down.

I told him, like, hey, Like a fight broke out, classic. And I'm like, dude, I'm like, these ones, they're down. Just take them back. It's right down the street. Keep them entertained for like 20 minutes. I'll be back. Get there.

He's just sitting there by himself. I'm like, what happened? He goes, well, next thing I know, like, I think you've met G, my Brazilian friend. Maybe. So he goes, well, G was here hanging out. And, you know, he just said, like, he was going to take them, you know, to a bar real quick. I'm like, dude, I was like, you never. Never let two girls leave with a Brazilian.

Ever. Like, ever. I'm like, I'm like, his name has like an R role in it. You're fucked. Well, his real name is,

his real name is Guillermo. Yeah. So, they are dumb. I just like, the way he probably goes down on women is probably just. You know,

actually, I've been part of like many threesomes and foursms with G. He doesn't go down on women. I, on the other hand, love going down. But he doesn't go down on women. It's,

you know, he's more of like, uh, You know. Jackhammer? No, not like, no, not a jackhammer. No, he's more like, hey, we're home, bend over, type deal. You know, but then it's very sensual.

The girls have liked it, you know, when he's... Do you guys have good threesome chemistry, U and G? Great threesome chemistry. Do you ever, like, touch dicks? No, we've never done the... Sword fighting. The double penetration on the lower half. Okay.

Where, I mean, it's inevitable that you're essentially touching dicks and slapping balls together. But I guess that's the least gay way of touching dicks. I mean, look, you can say I'm probably one of the most comfortable in my sexuality people. You are. So it's like, even if it did happen, I'd just kind of be like afterwards. I know you're comfortable with your sexuality because you have a nose ring. Exactly.

Exactly. Like, you're a fucking freak. Also, you have rings on. You know, I do. Are you like dominant in the bedroom? Like, do you like, yeah, you are. Are we, is it, we're taking this, this direction. I started and I was like, I want to know about your hopes and dreams and fears and

like you growing up as an athlete. And I'm like, do you fuck aggressively? Paula, let's talk about your demons and like all the things that happened to you throughout your life. I mean, I've been very vocal about this. I get criticized a lot. I mean, I'm huge into like the S&M edge play, you know, erotica. But you're the dominator.

I'm the, yeah, I'm the dom, essentially. Because the last guy, I was kind of. messing with war rings and he was like very dumb well here's the thing i tried to stare at type people i'm a girl if he's wearing your scorpio i'm a scorpio so like you got that scorpio so like even though but even though i'm dumb like if like i'm like if my partner that i'm with is like yo can you be like sensual can you do this can you do that like can i get on top like i'm not going to sit there and be like no yeah you're a sub get on your knees i'm gonna be like you know like yeah let's fucking do it whichever sexual night you want

You'll be like, I'll be gentle when you're on your knees. Yeah, like, I've had some weird shit, like, asked of me because, like, if someone comes in, they're like, oh, like, you're a dumb. It's like, hey, can you reenter the house, but I'm just going to be cleaning my dishes and pretend like you're a burglar and, like, this is just happening. I'm just like, weird flex, but all right. We're just kind of like. You're like, can I actually take your wallet, though? That's what I think of. I, but you're known in the media as, like, yeah, like, I never watched.

Big Brother. I was a fan at the challenge. I haven't been keeping up with it. You're just always top of mind because you're always in some news with some girl. You're always in trouble in some way. Polly's cheating. Polly's breaking this person up. Polly's breaking someone's heart. How is that happening? Or I just randomly show up to like a city and people are like, he must be having sex with this person and then boom, it's out there. Why do you think people care so much to take you down? You know, I don't know. I mean, you're having that freaky sex because they're jealous of your nose ring I mean I definitely do it to myself for sure like it's it's one of those things where I kind of I know like what's

gonna what's gonna be said about me it's like I'm being my authentic self but if people are gonna like rip me apart for like mistakes and everything like rather than just kind of like let me live my life like I'm just going to sit there and I'm just going to sit there and I'm just going to roll with it you know so you i know that you got involved in bachelor nation which is a kind of different monster than let's say big brother which is also a monster but you were dating daniel malby malby yeah and she was on the bachelor how'd you guys meet so we had met um through mutual friends they kind of set it up uh and then playing it planned trip to see her down in Nashville, we saw each other, hit it off right away, and then the rest is history.

Wow. Yeah, it is history. I remember E-News popping off and saying that you guys are dating, and I was like, wow, different reality TV worlds colliding. What was it like being kind of in that Bachelor Nation situation? It was interesting. I mean, right away, like, there was a lot of critique, you know, as you can imagine. I mean, regardless of what, like, my dating history has been, I mean, ever since I've been on TV, it's always kind of been like the, oh, he, he's just this. He's a cheater. He's this. So it's like, even if I'm in a relationship that just like ends mutually, it's just like,

he probably fucked it up. It was interesting kind of seeing like the overwhelming amount of like love and support for it. And then obviously there's going to be like, you know, the Reddit trash that basically is going to put all the feelers out there so that if something goes. goes wrong, they could be like, I told you so. But everybody was pretty supportive. Like, I met a lot of people in Bachelor Nation who I thought were cool, which kind of changed

my perception of Bachelor Nation as a whole. What do you think they were douchebags? Well, I mean, they are douchebags for the most part. I mean, you know, let's be real. I've met enough Bachelorette girls to know that they are not the perfect little sweet angels that they put on for. And I know that the guys are not the heartbroken. You know, oh, this, like, come on.

Like, they're just playing up the I got my heartbroken car so they could sleep with a bunch of chicks and be douchebags. I guess it's different than Big Brother because it's, like, all about love and, like, everyone has to be, like, good-looking, and they have their own story of their life that they put together to get some kind of empathy from America. Yeah, it's different because when people leave the Bachelor of Bachelorette,

it's under the premise of heartbreak. Yeah. Right? So, like, you'd have to be a monster to not feel bad for somebody And also when they go in, either one of them's a mom. All of them have these great heartbreaking stories and make you feel so connected to them. But everyone's more nuanced than just that general story.

That's why I also wanted to bring you on today because I feel like you have such a more nuanced story than what the media makes you out to be. You then, you and Danielle broke up. She posted a lot of like really sad breakup shit online. How did that make you feel? You know, I felt awful. I mean, nobody wants to.

break somebody's heart I mean it sucks like I mean look there's a Bon Jovi song where it's like two hearts never break even you know it's and it was sad because her and I were so close

and it wasn't just like as lovers it was also the sense of that we were also like very close friends at the time that we had each other's backs and I was lost in like a whirlwind of emotions like when everything had happened. I mean, I, like, I had no intentions of, of fucking that up. And then, um, when I did, I felt awful only because I knew, like, what she had gone through in her past. And that

sucked to be like that person and, you know, how she held me on, in such high regards and how everybody, you know, was starting to kind of be like, oh, like, maybe he's, he's not this person, um, you know, and then it happens. And then I was caught in the in between of, like, like what do I do I do I do I mend this mistake what was your mistake was you know cheating hunter with Kara on my first season of the challenge which so you were with her while you were filming I was with her while I was filming I mean and it didn't even happen until like the very very end you know and it was it was like 10 weeks of holding strong against you know a lot of temptation and it was it was definitely it definitely happened and then I

I felt that connection with Kara as anybody feels like when you're away filming. Because it sounds like you didn't just like fuck a girl that you thought was hot cheating on her. Right. You actually were creating connection with someone else. Right. Because you're in this house.

It's such a weird reality TV situation. Like what other job were you like, hey, I have to leave for two months to be with a bunch of hot people and might connect with someone. Sorry. It's hard. And like the connection then like once you get out of the house,

then you, that's when you test like, well, is it real or is the TV? I heard a lot of stories from like MTV people that like they do a lot of things for storyline so I was caught in that well like I mean did she just hook up with me yeah for this because as soon as we got out she was flaunting the whole like I'm single I want to be free I'm going to do a dating show I'm going to do this and do that and I was like hey I'm cool with that like I've been in plenty of open relationships plenty of them can you explain why you like open

relationships um I mean I like open relationships because when you have somebody that you're connected with emotionally and you love that person and they love you um that's the connection that love ultimately is right the sex is just a physical aspect do you think you're a sex addict i could be a sex addict but i but the open relationship to me isn't just for me yeah you know what i mean like an open a true open relationship so you don't get jealous if she's like i got the best dick last night no because like you have to be confident enough in your dick and your sex game but like if your dick's that Why would she want other dick? It's just part of the, it's part of the relationship.

Like, we're all humans. Like, I'm in the sense where it's like... But you've gone to a place where, like, you hook up with someone, then she's like, well, I guess I have to hook up with someone. No, it never gets to that place. I mean, in my experience, it's never gotten in that place. As long as it's like 100% equal. The only time you get into that zone is like some guys...

You both want to do it. Well, like, some guys will be selfish and just be like, well, I want to bring other girls in. Like, I want to have sex with other girls, but you can't do anything. Yeah. That's not cool. you know what I mean like if you want to do this like you both have the conversation but you and Danielle were not we were not were you we were not so you'll talk to people were you down to have an

open relationship with her it it could it it could have been some but ultimately you realize like that's not for everybody yeah you know what I mean and ultimately you'll get married and have a closed relationship I would love to get married and have kids that's ultimately what I want do you want a close relationship though you know I would love to try it 100%, um, but I know tons of families and tons of people who like as marriage goes on, like they, they end up going that route because it spices up the relationship. My thing is I'm so like emotion based. Like I don't care to just have sex with random people. Right. So I don't have like tons of dudes right now that I'd want to have sex with. So it's like

where are these girls you're finding to have sex with? Like is it DMs? Is it at the gym? Like where do you meet people to fuck? No, I mean it's it's not like that. I mean, it's, it's not like that. I mean, I mean, I feel like everybody's idea of an open relationship is just a free-for-all, like, fuck-fess. That's not it at all. It's, like, 90% of the time, like, or 97% of the time, like, it's you and your person. You know what I mean? It's just like, it's one of those things where you both might be out. It's like, yo, that chick's cute.

Like, are you, are you into that? But, like, for me, like, I'm never the one that's going to initiate that conversation, you know what I mean? So for like a threesome. Yeah, for like a threesome. It's, and like, it's never the situation where it's like, hey, look, I'm not going to come home tonight because I'm going and doing this. That's not what it is. Like, you're always coming home to the person. You're not going and fucking around.

You're not setting it up like that. Like, and you have to. But some nights, you don't have threesome's and you might hook up with someone else. No, like that. I mean, everyone, every single one is different. You have to define it with your partner. You know what I mean? You have to, and which opens you up to communication.

Like, what are they comfortable with? What are you comfortable with? where do you guys draw the line um so it has to be discussed and by the way like you don't want to just go fuck anything that moves because worst thing that happens is you bring an STD back into the relationship like fuck that like no like anybody that you potentially might want like as a hookup like you've got to vet them like both of you you know what I mean like because it's part of like this thing you've created exactly and that's how it goes I mean and I don't know how I got opened up to that i think like when i moved to manhattan like i just ended up at a lot of like weird sex

parties and like swingers parties and all this shit and manhattan will corrupt you yeah manhattan like it opened my eyes to like a lot of things because i was always a sexual person how do you just end up at a sex party though because i've lived here for 28 years and i've never been to sex party yeah it's the weirdest thing in the world i literally just talked about this the other day um on on a different podcast it's like you like you meet somebody like out like whether you're at a club and stuff it's it depends i think it depends on the vibes that you give off like these people find you and they'll kind of just be like hey they find you like we got an after party here they don't find the girl who's like hey do you want to fuck just kidding i'm scared and i run away

they're like she's going to be terrible at this sex party she's just going to talk the whole time you just show up and just like jesus what the fuck is why is timmy tied to the fucking wall with darts in his ass timmy get off the wall the craziest thing i've done is go to the box a couple times have you seen see that's where it starts the box the box the box the box is where my first approach it's my problem too

I always end up in the box I see what you did there I see what you did there I hope you appreciate puns I did I do I love a corny corny pun so anyone doesn't know the box is like this high brow

burlesque bar that is really cool but then they have some performances that happen and there are a lot of really talented people you will see anything from like a transvestite peeing in someone's mouth to like girls throwing their tampon at you

to what else? I've witnessed a guy literally sit on a chair and take you know shit out a baby and then continue to shit out shit I've seen a very classy establishment with gorgeous people in it. It's very classy

it's a very unique artistic experience it is. That's how people in New York will disguise it. Yeah it's very like That burlesqueness about it and the... I watched a woman staple a man's dick to a table. Oh, my God. And what if that makes you be like, yeah, I need a fuck right now. Let's go to a fucking sex party now.

There's some twisted fucking people in this world. I'm one of them, I think. You are, I can tell, by your nose ring. I've got a lot. By all the rings happening. Do you, have you ever fucked with a dick ring? What is it called? Prince Albert?

Yeah. no i never have oh no what's just like a like a sex toy ring oh like the like a cock ring oh a cock ring i mean it's like uh i mean the only time you use a cock ring yeah okay i don't even know there's a lot of different uses for it but basically what a good one does is it keeps the blood in somewhere in order to keep it hard while something else is probably going on oh and maybe it

vibrates or something no there's the vibrating ones those are like bullshit they're sold in like trojan condom boxes this is what jim class should have been like this is educating this is education like i don't even know how to put on a condom i leave that to him this is a shit i need to know why do i need to know what to put on a condo who yeah who wears condoms now anyway like what the fuck is ladies wear a condom when polly tries to go in you wear a condom oh my god i'm we're in an office right now and i just started yelling we're screaming that screaming wear condoms everyone so now back to back to the cock ring so like usually a guy will wear

like if they're if they're undergoing pain right because sometimes if like unless you're like if you're putting something in your butt no no i mean is that really pain some some would argue no right i would argue don't go there with me but i have my limits really you won't even let like a little lick not a finger not a lick no wow you're kind of a prude yeah i know all the millennials are out of everything all the millennials are doing out of everything i know you're like you'll staple your No, I'm just kidding. Well, hold on a second. You didn't do that.

You didn't do that. So, yeah, usually it's like if a guy's getting, like, whips or, like, fucking clawed and all this shit. Yeah. It helps them stay hard. It helps them stay hard. So it'll be like if the girl or guy, whatever he went to, is like. So did Danielle ultimately, sorry I'm getting into this, but I think people can

break up is there something they connect to? Danielle found out by watching or by hearing? No, no, no, no. We, I, I. You told her. Yeah, the news broke. Like, as soon as I got done filming and, like, told her what. happened, she was, she was, she was,

I love how we come back to this. I'm an artfully ADD. So, you're only able to talk once a week. To who? To someone that, anybody that you want to call. You get one call? You have three people that you could call, but you only get one call a week. Wow, that's scary.

And it's only 10 minutes. Wow. See, Summer House, we could text a whole fucking time. Yeah, no. Well, Big Brother, you have nothing. So a 10 minute phone call, I'm like, this is awesome. Yeah. But they don't give you that phone call until like four weeks in.

right so 10 weeks season four weeks in was she nervous about this daniel she wasn't like she honestly wasn't uh and i i honestly wasn't worried about it either i was like no fucking way like i you know she knows it's a great opportunity for you well it wasn't even about the opportunity like her and i had a lot of talks like about how i haven't been able to fill that void of competition ever since i got injured playing soccer so like my my career was plagued with injury you know what mean and I was at the highest of the high we're talking youth national team injury division one injury are these similar injuries or just random injuries random injuries like each one was different which was crazy and then do you feel like when you got injuries while competing you were like

losing control of your life it wasn't a loss of control because it allowed me to stay more mentally focused because you got to work 10 times harder to get back and then do that. So I saw it as like a challenge to overcome the adversity and overcome the obstacles. And that translates to a lot of things that I do in life. Like I never look at things as a setback. It's a learning experience. You move forward. Even when you make mistakes and you maybe don't say things the right way, you do things the wrong way, you have to take something from it and go. So she loved that it was an opportunity for me. I don't think that like she, like we would have been okay

had, like, Karn and I not had the connection, right, at the time. And connections are inevitable. Like, you're not, like, trying to have it. You either have it or you don't. Right. And then also, like, after that, like, she thought it was going to be a one and done situation.

Like, do this, have your fix of, like, competing and then don't do it anymore. Like, let's start a family and all this stuff. And then once I got a taste of competing, I was like, fuck. I was like, coming back. in between your soccer career ending and then getting big brother. Were you coaching soccer? So I actually worked at Indeed.com.

Oh, cool. And I was a salesperson there. Yeah. Crushed it. And then just out of nowhere, I was teaching Krav Maga after work, doing fitness before work. So it got to a point where I was- What's Krabmaga? It's Israeli Special Forces martial art.

Cool. So. I was like, I don't know, but it makes me hungry. It sounds like. You should totally take it. Okay, cool. It's funny. We have very similar stories because, yeah, I was in tennis. I got hit by a car, actually, in my senior year, but I did recover. I just didn't have the best, like, ending to it, and that was where you decide if you want to go pro or not, and I kind of was burnt. But I went to sales right after, too, because it gives you that high. I remember in the interview, they were like, so you're going to get rejected most of your calls because you're doing co-calling. And I was like, yeah, in a match, I win 6464. I lost 40% of the points. Right. And that's something that I love about athletes is we quantify things in that sense of winning and losing and how to overcome more so the adversity over the success. Because, like, you know, you're only taught when you succeed. You're only taught to forget about it so that you can continue to succeed. But when you fail, you're taught all these lessons. And then you're able to qualify. Like, look, a baseball player is successful hitting the ball, you know, a third of the time. You know what I mean? Like, that's a crazy concept.

to think about and I love that perspective and I really want to have you on too because you're you are messy like you're not this like clean cut I knew that you coming in would be open and like I'm very hard of myself like when I make mistakes I'm still so hard of myself but even hearing you just say like yeah I say the wrong things all the time and it pisses people off or I get upset of myself why did I do that and it's right no you did it because now it's an opportunity to learn from it and you might do it again right this is your journey I might like I'm I'm a human and And I'm not the only person that's ever been messy. I, you know, I just happen to, I don't know, evokes some type of emotion out of people where they either love me or they hate me. You're a catalyst for sure. And they, and it's, you know, I'll never be the person that's like, I'm an angel. I'm not an angel. I fuck up all the time. And I think what happens is people will put the fuck ups under this huge microscope and act as if people can't change over time.

And then you could do. so many good things over so many years but then another fuck up might happen and people are only going to focus on that. Well the entertainment industry wants to as a public figure they want to label you. Polly the bad boy or like Polly the cheater. And I think that

especially in reality TV the best people in reality TV are people who make mistakes because you get to watch them recover from it because we all make mistakes. Yeah. I remember once in reality TV they were casting and I asked like why they didn't cast one of my friends and they go oh they're not going to make any mistakes

and we want mistakes and I was like wait to me and I'm going to make mistakes and they're like you're human and like and the point of me trying to do well in reality TV

isn't trying to not make mistakes it's just embracing owning your shit and then America watches you try to like grow from it right isn't that what life is that's how it should be

that is what life is that is what you're taught in life it's what you're taught in athletics however we've entered a time period of cancel culture and call out culture and it has

really it's put pressure on people who essentially you're in control of everything right it puts pressure on people to be more successful faster than they should be and it makes people doubt whether they're on the right path and it also you know can essentially ruin somebody's life for something that's really not that big of a deal right so I know and you know as an athlete you didn't become a good tennis player in one year two years three years it's took 10, 15, and then you got there, right? So everybody expects this giant thing of success.

I mean, you know, I've only done three seasons. I get compared to all the great players, right? Yeah, I call myself the best because when I'm there, nobody competes better or harder than me. I lay it all online and I'll die before I lose. We're talking about the challenge, by the way. And if I lose, I'm humbled by loss. If I lose, it's because I'm dead.

That's the only way I'm going to lose. And I'm humbled by success. But, you know, people are like, you'll never be this. You're never with that person. I'm like, these people have been on 20 seasons. Yeah. 20. You know what I mean?

Do you have a big fear of losing? No fear. Because some really successful people are driven by the anxiety and fear of losing. Like they hate losing more than they enjoy winning. Which isn't like a happy perspective per se. I'm more driven by the thrill of success, right? I'm motivated by failure. I'm motivated by the naysayers and all that stuff.

But I am driven by success. So I've accepted all the fears of failure in order to try and climb the ladder of success. So back to this love triangle you're in, Danielle finds out, you told her, where does it go from there? That's where everything gets very blurry because I was talking to Cara at the time. I was talking to Danielle at the time. And did Cara want a long-term thing? I don't know what she was feeling inside over that. they're both also so awesome cool strong gorgeous women they're fucking i don't know how they're fighting

over you they're so dope i don't know either i was i was like i was sitting there i was like no shot i was like i was like you guys are awesome like what the fuck they should just start fucking each other and leave you out of it i was open to that i was like i was like i was like guys do we have to pick one or the other like can we can we make this happen that could have been the best possible scenario oh it would have been yeah would have been great you know like i don't know He has no words. He's so turned on by that thought. Yeah, don't bring me there.

But it's like, it was tough because... She was hurt. She lost her trust. She was crushed. Did she post on Instagram about it? No, she didn't at the time. She ended up posting like six months later about the whole situation because it was a very fucked up situation.

I take accountability for me. Were you angry that she posted it to the public or you feel like that's the lives you're living? I think that's the life. lives that we're living. I mean, it's crazy because when you start through these relationships, they, you know, everybody will say, like, don't worry anything that happens, stays between us. But it never stays between us. I've, I have literally never, no matter what relationship I've been in, on TV, off TV, never gone to the public, never blasted it. I'm a very private person in that

regard, where it's like, someone can screw me over to the max in a relationship. And I'll just be like, great person, love them, enjoyed my time with them, like we just parted ways. I'm not going to sit there and be like, 10 dudes, I walked in on a gang bang. Like, are you kidding me? Like, and their names were Jason and Stephen. Yeah. These are social security numbers.

Like, for some reason, I don't know what it is. I never want sympathy. Yeah. Right? I would rather take the lumps, move on, and go from there. Yeah. And have people, have people be motivated by my strength, then by my weakness.

And I have my weak moments. I mean, I have cried on TV. Yeah. I have cried. I cried. I cried when the whole, when it all resurfaced and then Carr and I had split, you know, because her and I had built that connection even more so. Over the summer, it was blurry because one side is getting in my head being like,

Carr's not real, it's not real, this is for TV, this is fake, this is, she's using you, she's using you for this, she's using you for that. And then I'm, you know, I'm looking at Carr being like, I want to be free, I don't want anything serious, you've just got a great dick, that's all I'm in this for. And, you know, and then I got, but I have my feelings that I knew we're going towards Carr, but then I had my brain being like, well, Danielle's, like, on paper, looks like the best choice that I should go back to and take my lumps and make my mistakes and do all that. They're also such different types of women.

So different. Like, do you have a type? I don't have a type. I really don't. And, like, that's thing, I go based off a connection, like, almost, like, spiritual and all that stuff. What are their signs? Huh? What are their signs?

So, Danielle is, I believe, a Libra or Virgo. Car is a Taurus. Yeah, so complete opposite end to the spectrum. But, I mean, that means nothing to me. You know what it mean? All I know is that. All I know is that you have a nose ring. Exactly.

And all I know is I've got five rings on my body right now. And none of which have to do with a dick. A dick. Unless I have a dick ring also. it was just it was a tough situation i handled it wrong i should have communicated better like rather than just relying on the hints um it was weak on my part to just kind of be like well i'm gonna go away and film this next season uh which i still had my reserves about because i was like all right you know she's still talking you know car still talking to her ex and everything so i thought it was

just kind of like up in the air so complicated so much baggage and then we go away and then so you're still with daniel at this point no no no no we're not we're like we're like we're like like nobody was together at this point, you know, but I still loved Danielle. Like I still had that connection. Were you talking with her? Like we were talking like 100%. And I should have been more like, hey, we're talking.

I do love you still, but in terms of like the relationship and the connection, it's gone and I'm going to keep going back and doing these shows. And I don't know what's going to happen on this next season. Instead, I went away on the next season. What if Danielle then was like, I'm coming on the fucking challenge? I've been lifting. She never, she never would go on the challenge. She hates MTV.

What? Hates it. I mean, like, she just looks at it as trash television. She's on the Bachelor. But it's, uh, it's like ABC is a little bit more family friendly than MTV. Yeah, you're right. But I also, you got to respect the challenge. You got to respect the challenge.

What is the scariest thing that you ever did on the challenge? I got buried alive. Underground? Underground. I'm like, crazy claustrophobic. and got buried alive. And they knew you're claustrophobic. Yes.

The producers were like, this is perfect. They were like, first challenge out the gate, bury them alive. And I was like, they're like, hey, Polly,

there's a whistle in the coffin in case you want to quit. So I like, I took the whistle and I like, before they closed the casket, I like put it outside of the casket underground so that I had like,

even if I wanted to... This is what I love about reality TV is the mental boundaries that it pushes. That is 100% mental. I'm no longer claustrophobic. It's crazy. Okay, so if you're claustrophobic sitting at home,

find a coffin, find some crazy producers, get a camera, put yourself underground. Bear yourself alive for 25 minutes, so half an hour. 25 years, who cares, whatever you need to get through it. And you'll be good. You'll be good. Elevators will be easy.

Airplanes, no problem. No problem. Airplane bathrooms? Fucking them. Who cares? Fucking them. so you get on the second season of the challenge that you're on and car is there car's there that's where our relationship like really formed and we said to each other we're like hey like let's

stop fucking around and let's just make it official like you know I don't want to hook up with other people you don't want to hook up with other people let's let's do it we ride out that whole season now I'm 31 uh okay and uh we ride out that whole season and uh afterwards riding each other riding each other like lots of it like you know Where do you have sex in those there? I mean, everywhere. I don't care who sees it. The cameras are out and shit?

Yeah, the cameras are out, but if you're under covers, they can film it. If you're over the covers, they can't film it because you're nude. Would you do it over the covers? Well, yeah. And in the living room, up in the pool room, like everywhere. Does everyone see each other naked and fucking? No, some people try to be a little bit more discreet about it. I'm just, call me sick in the head.

It's a mental strategy to literally fuck with people's heads. Oh my God, you're like, see how I'm fucking car? That's how I'm gonna fuck you tomorrow when we're digging holes and you're burying each other. Actually, I was a dickhead because her ex was on the show. So after I would get done like really hard session, I'd walk in, I'd be like, did you hear what it's like to make a girl come? Like, I don't know if you know what it's like

or if you've ever heard an orgasm like that, but that is like fucking wild, bro. Who's her ex? He's this guy, Kyle. He's actually, you know. He's pretty chill, dude. No, like, on the season that's filming now, like, we had no issues. It's water under the bridge at this point. But, I mean, like, looking back on it, I was a fucking asshole that whole season.

Why? Why do you have such a chip on your shoulder? Honestly, I mean, this goes back to, like, fucking childhood. I mean, some shit happened to me, like, in my younger years. You know, I've never talked about it. I'm not going to talk about it here. But then essentially, like, when I got to high school, I was, um, I was an athlete, right, and a lot of the older guys, like, they didn't like that I was an athlete.

I had long blonde hair. You know, some of the older girls, they thought I was, like, cute in the sense of, like, oh, look at this innocent little boy with long blonde hair. You know, so they would always try and jump me outside of school, in school, like, because they thought I was gay. Why did you grow your hair long? I just always had long hair. I was a soccer player. You know, I didn't have short hair until I got to college.

Very European. Yeah. Like, that's, I grew up watching soccer, so I was like, oh, I want my hair. like Francesco Totti I want my hair like you know so you were bullied because you like looked kind of different I yeah I was bullied because I looked different and then coming from an Italian family like I'm walking in with like fucking velour a velour jump suit on this is New Jersey yeah this is Jersey I got my gold chains out and people are just like who's this fucking kid and you had an attitude I mean

were you shy I I I was very introverted oh wow right like I always knew how to defend myself I was very good wrestler very good at like everything else um very introverted i didn't learn to be extroverted until i started emceeing when i was 16 which was more like putting a mask on my face because i'm like oh this is just a this character this is a large group of people they don't know me i'm just going what were you emceeing i was emceeing everything like bar and bat mitzv's sweet 16's weddings corporate events so i'm 16 years old doing all this stuff so you're kicking balls near the day yelling at people at night what did you like like the sound of your voice you thought you were like you were good at like adlib

what made you want to emce? Honestly, I, nothing. Like my friend, my friend was DJing, and it was the only job I could have because it was on the weekends because I spent all week,

school, training, all that stuff. And, and it was the weekend job. So my father was like, do it, because like, you ain't partying on the weekend.

So I'm like, all right, cool. Were your parents tough? Very strict, grown up. And I respect the hell out of them for being strict. I mean, because, you know,

if you look at my brother and sister, like, they're fucking, they're golden children. like they're they do no wrong i was always the rebellious one yeah and you know i mean they they needed to be extra hard on me because i was fucking wild and um and i think it came from like all that stuff of like when i was getting bullied and all this stuff like i never looked at it like oh why am i getting bullied i always looked at it as i'm going to fight back i don't care if

there's 10 of them i don't care how many of them there are like they're not going to affect me and the only thing I can do to be better than them is to be more successful at the things that I want to focus on, you know, and finding them when they weren't in their group at their houses one by one outside of school. Being like, oh, you guys are tough in a group? What are you at now?

But, you know, that mixed with, like, all the injuries that I got through sports, that's where the chip on the shoulder comes from. It's, when you reach your dreams and then they get ripped away from you because of injuries, It creates this chip of wanting to be successful, right? And then fast forward to me entering the challenge house.

I was not welcomed by any of the guys there. All the girls welcomed me right away. It was friendly. It was all this stuff. None of the guys welcomed me there. They all basically made fun of me the whole time and all the stuff. It gave me flashbacks to high school. They made fun of me for walking around in my underwear.

Which is actually a baller move, but continue. Right. Like when I would do eliminations, I did it in my compression shorts, you know, basically dick out all the time. And like, it was just like one of those clicky, like, too cool for school kids where it's like, you know, I try. And you're not one to suck up to someone to like me to like you. I don't suck up to people to make them like me. So I was just kind of like, well, you guys don't want me to be a party group. I don't really give a fuck.

I'm going to do what I got to do, right? And then after every season, it's like they all stuck together and they all were like, well, this season we're going to fucking get you. And then I'd be like, all right, well, here's the next season. You make me want to watch the challenge so bad right now. You know, and then the season after that, it's like, well, now this is the season we're going to get you. And I'm like, all right, well, I'm going to go after you guys again. And it's like, they still haven't been able to get me. Now, I remember sitting down with the producers first season and they were like, we don't really have like a villain or somebody that likes to be the villain.

Are you cool with that? And I was like, I was like, honestly, this is a competition show. I'm here for the money. Yeah. I was like, I don't care. I was like, I am whatever. people are going to interpret me as this is a show

whether I'm edited to be loved or hated or controversial I don't care I'm here to be myself I'm here to win also like no matter what artistic shit they do with editing unless you're a certain way the whole fucking time

people will see your true color show and I even I've had people say to me like you know like you might come off looking like this you might come off looking like this you might want to change this or you'll look like that and I go you know what I'm being true to myself if it'll look a certain way fuck it I don't care because you'll drive yourself crazy

if you try to look a certain way. Like my castmates drives himself crazy because they try and think of storylines before the show even goes there and I'm just like, it's a competition show. Is it looked down upon to come up with storylines? No, like, I mean for me, like coming up with a storyline, I understand,

like, but a storyline is eventually, it's going to happen. But it's not going to keep you on the show. No, it's not. You have to win, right? You have to, you have to last, or you have to be a character. You have to have, like, good interviews,

good confessionals. You got to check off all the boxes. Like, are you a competitor? Do you bring drama? Do you fuck? Are you good in your interviews? Do people take to you? Whether it's good or bad, do people take to you?

Or you just kind of like the people where it's like, eh? Because there's, in every villain also, there's people that will take their side or at least, like, be rooting and, like, enjoy it. Yeah. And everyone understands, like, being pissed at someone. There's someone to connect with at every single level, as long as you're being authentic, I feel like. 100%. Like, I mean, I always take any sort of. online hate with the greatest salt because I look at it from a legit you know a number standpoint

like it's 10% of the people are the very vocal nasty people right 90% of the people are even less yeah even less 5% so I mean it's like I said I get a lot of love it's like a yelp review how many times do you eat it at a restaurant you think it's great and you leave a ralpe review I've never how many times do you go to a restaurant and there's glass in your spaghetti and you're like I should probably I mean I don't leave yelp reviews but that's what you'd leave help review probably exactly um so you and kara are like were you ever known as like official or what was like did you ever start dating yeah yeah exactly like when we came off of uh the next season war of the world's one we were official and that's when all that other stuff came out from like over the

summer where it was like that whole in between like i was you know the mistakes i had made like all of a sudden came out they came out like six months later with like are you with daniel like with the Danielle and Kara thing. So it's like, imagine being in that in-between phase, and then you get serious with somebody, and then all the shit that comes out from the in-between phase comes to light. When it aired? No, not when it aired.

Like, none of this aired. Like, this was all brought to light by Danielle and Kara. Essentially, you know, I tried to talk to Carr and be like, hey, like, this is, you know, like, this is all passed up. No, like, she knew, like, what was going on. I'm like, look, this is, like, you're going based off of emotion. that we're feeling right now because like we fell for each other and just spent three months competing being serious and I'm like just I was like let's just find a way to all talk about

this privately like all of us I was like because I still want to be with you and I want to move forward with this is after the second time you filmed yeah okay and uh you know it didn't happen like a lot of people got in her ear like a lot of the castmates who don't like me got in her ear kind of like, you know, we're using it as a tool to get me banned and make a big deal about a public spectacle of, like, ruining my character, because after Final Reckoning, and I was not viewed as a bad character. I wasn't viewed as a villain. I was edited in a very likable way, right? What was Kara ultimately mad at you about? She was ultimately mad at me for, like, not coming clean about it. About being with Danielle? Like, about what

was actually going on over the summer um my my my argument at the time was like hey i like we didn't owe each other any of that and she knew you were with daniel i mean she knew we were talking she didn't know that like we were like doing whatever like once it got to a certain point like i stopped sleeping with daniel and i was like you know what whatever happens happens right but because when you when you left the challenge you were still hooking up with daniel and kara yes okay so that's the gray moment exactly like that was you were you trying to figure out which one you wanted to be with or were you kind of just live in life i was living life i was hoping that caro wanted to be more serious and then i was caught in the moment of like you know

i do and eventually like i had to cut it off with daniel because it's like i felt bad like in that sense you know what i mean like i i didn't know anything about what car was doing what she had plans and this was all happening in l.a no this was like all over the place yeah like how the fuck do you This is, I won't even, like, date a guy if he lives in Brooklyn. How the fuck are you dating two women all over the globe? I don't know. But hindsight, gentlemen, don't fucking, don't do it. Okay?

Don't do it and don't do it with two public figures because you are going to get crucified. So I want to talk, you said, like, you, what have you learned about PR from dealing with this? Because with reality TV, I always say they give you the show and then it's your job to make a career out of it. I, like, wanted to start a podcast for people who, like, I felt connected with me, doing stand-up comedy so people can, you know, see that side of me.

You're in the fucking news all the time. What advice would you give to people for, like, staying relevant, keeping that buzz? Honestly, you just, once again, it goes back to being authentic, right? If you're trying to think about what's going to get people's reactions, it's going to fall. Like, nobody can be that. brilliant you know like there might be some people who who have like things in the holster like oh I'll release a sex tape here oh I'll break up at this time I'll find a new girlfriend here

yeah not everyone's Chris Jenner yeah like if you're if you're being authentic I know making certain statements are going to get a reaction out of the out of both sides right and that's fine for me because like I want to capture the whole audience and if I had the whole audience I can either you're saying negative and positive negative and positive attention are both what you need and there's not really a a formula but if you know what people are saying bad about you you know what people are saying good about you you can have a in-between statement to constantly make um in order to get people to just what are you most insecure about whether it's physical or emotional um i'm probably the most insecure about like opening up about

like who i actually am who i am like deeply on certain levels because every time i have i've gotten like completely fucked over or blasted by it right so i'm because you that's a thing thin line between you being your authentic self versus you giving it all yes you know what i mean i can't give it all because like i've opened up about like some like dark things and people have taken it and like like crucified me for it and it's like i'm like at a point where i'm like well maybe people don't need to know like certain things you know what i mean well i think that's with reality tv is like you're throwing your life out there but then you also need to know what you keep close to home and also when you start dating someone, making them feel safe, as in like, I'm starting to date dudes

and they'll just be like, yeah, you're just going to put me on blast on your podcast. And I'm just like, I mean, some people I will. But you got to be confident. If I'm making fun of you, hell yeah, I will. Or like, if I think we have a great story, I will. But trust me that, like, I respect what we have and I'm not going to do anything to tarnish it. If anything, it's just, you know, it's my career.

Look, stand-up comedians make a living off of slamming their family and spouses. You know what I mean? So, like, you got to get. And that's where I go back to like you got to find somebody that gets you. Like even when we were talking about the open relationship, whatever. Like do I think I'll have one when I get married? I don't know. I gotta know when I'm there.

But I will know this that like the person I'm dating is going to have the utmost respect for me and I'm going to support whatever they're doing. I appreciate you opening up about some messy stuff in your relationships. I want to wrap this up to know a little more about you. We're going to end with the seven deadly sins. Oh, goodness. What are you greedy about? Success and money.

How do you define success? I define success as outdoing yourself every day. So. Pushing yourself? Yes. So every day when I wake up, when the day's over, I say to myself, was I better than yesterday? If the answer is yes, I said I'm being successful.

I think it's also important you know better than anyone which you're capable of so don't listen too much of what people think their expectations of you so I feel like my own expectations are so much bigger

than what anyone could think of real quick what's kind of your mini plan for the future I can't talk about the businesses that I started only because the nature of but you're starting businesses

I've already started them they've been running for like four months now I've I've turned them into very successful things in a very short amount of time, and I will talk about that once I come out about having these businesses. My castmates, they love to tear down every single thing that I do, so I've been playing it close to the chest. And when I do release it, it'll be at a point where it's too big to fail. Don't care what they say about it. Do you think these castmates, in like

20 years, you see them, you're all like have families or whatever, you guys can laugh about all this, or some of them might be, like, not cool for life? You know, I try to keep my circle small. Yeah. So, it's not like, you don't care to be friends with them. I could care less. I could care less about being friends with them. Who were you envious of besides me?

Well, shit. Obviously you. Envy's a strong one. I mean, my father basically, like, conditioned to envy out of me. Envy and jealousy was, like, his main. Did he do that? Focus. He just, like, he's just such a wise man.

Like, him and my mother were just on me nonstop, because they knew I had tendencies towards envy and jealousy. Those are two. Because you're very competitive. Well, that plus, like, Scorpio's downfalls are jealousy and envy, right? So my father was also Scorpio, and my mother knew how to handle him as well. So they were just like, get out of here. You know, the only thing I could be envious about is,

is not like not to be cheesy but like looking back five years ago and being like man I fucking

I should have listened to like what my what people were telling me to go and do you know what they tell you to do my father was like look

you never should be working for someone you should be doing your own thing like you need to do this you know like some of my closest friends like even Sean T like as recent as like three years ago

was like you need to move out of Jersey right you need to move out in New York you need to get away from that area and I was like holding on holding on holding on and then once I finally let go everything that everybody said was going to happen has happened and now it's on track to continue happening I feel the same way it's wild it's really wild once you're like in alignment I say it's like surfing once you hit the the right wave it's effortless and shit just starts happening and it doesn't feel as like hard to grab it because you're like oh this is what's meant to happen for me exactly Um, what are you gluttonous about?

Because I know you're a pretty, you know, regimented dude, you wake up early, you've already... Regimented for sure. Yeah, what do you gluttoned about? Like, what do you like... Actually, I kind of know what you are gluttonous about. Yeah, I mean, you're definitely going to say sex, and I was also going to say sex, but desserts. Ooh, what kind of dessert? Every kind of dessert.

I stay away from dessert. Like, there's no dessert in my house. I don't ask for the dessert menu, because I will cave. You can't control your stuff. I will cave every single time. Do you do whipped cream in the bedroom? No, no, no, no, because that's just... You're like, that's an amateur move.

Here's the thing about whipped cream in the bedroom that, like, people fucking think are like, ooh, whipped cream in the bedroom. Your saliva starts to smell so awful when you're licking whipped cream off of somebody. Really? Yes, it's so, it's not, it's not what everybody cracks it up to be. Interesting. So, yeah, like, yeah, like the whipped cream bikini from like Varsity Blues was an amazing thing. and I'm sure whipped cream is used in every single dessert place porno that exists.

But in real life, it makes things start to smell bad. Okay, okay, good to know. Also, you might get a UTI. Who knows, you get UTI from any of these days. When was the last time you experienced extreme wrath, like anger? Like me getting angry? Yeah, what was the last thing that really pissed you off? I can't really talk about it.

I will talk about it in the future, but powers at bay can't do it but it happened in October it happened while I was in London and I can't go into it you just like heard enough British accents that you kick someone in the face yeah I was like you know what mate I'm finally gonna tell you to fuck off that was actually not bad it was decent um when was the last time you were a sloth when was last time you were a lazy piece of shit What was that time you, like, slept in and just let yourself do nothing? The last time I was a sloth was recently.

It was after all that stuff had come out after War the World's One. I was so devastated emotionally and mentally for probably the first time in my life since athletics ended for me. And I did not want to move. I did nothing. All the things that I had started four months ago, I had planned to start them then. And this is like January 2019, right? And I dropped the ball for three months straight before I left to film.

Or four or five months straight. But sometimes, like, you have to get your head together before you, like, conquer something like that. No doubt. And you weren't mentally, like, recovered from some shit. Exactly. When was the last time you let your pride get in the way of something? You know what? I'm actually going to say the pride, I,

it goes with the wrath. If I didn't let my pride get in the way, my wrath would have never took over. So, you know, they always say like pride and ego come right before the fall. That's very wise of you. I learned that right there. Final question.

When was the last time you lusted over someone? Last time I lusted over someone, second you walk through those doors in your jeans. Jesus, you have been squatting, Hannah, all right? That is not a tennis-only ass, okay? Oh, my God, you know the way to my heart. Just compliment my booty. Oh, God damn it.

Now, I wanted to hate you because of all those terrible stories you told, but now I like you. To wrap this up, what advice, I think as like a soccer coach, as someone who's put their life out there, you have a lot of crazy experiences. What advice would you give to people on how to cope with their hell? Um, I would say that you have two choices, right? Everyone's going to have demons, right?

You can either fight your demons or you can learn to dance with your demons. And I've chose to dance with my demons. So I've used my demons to my benefit in the sense where they no longer control me or they no longer win the battles because it's no longer a battle. There can only be a fight if two people are going at each other. But if you're dancing, that's more cohesive. So I've learned how to turn my demons that I battled and turned my demons that were pulling me down

into demons that danced with me and demons that helped drive me. Wow. Pauli Califiori, you are amazing. Where can people follow you? You guys can find me Twitter, Instagram, at Paul Califuri underscore. So just Paul and then not Pauley.

Yeah, not Pauley. And then underscore at the end. Why, you're making this very difficult for me. But yet, what... Oh my God, is this our first fight? Yeah. I hate your handle, and it's not going to work. Also, you guys, if you like any of these conversations,

leave a subscribe, rate review, screenshot. Look out for Polly. He's going to have some businesses coming up in the future. And I love this kid. I'm so happy he came on. And I love you. And congratulations to all your success. I mean, when you popped up on Summer House,

I was like, that's my friend. I know her. She's awesome. And I've always thought you're awesome. And no matter what an edit will ever show of you, I know the real you, and I know that you're an amazing person. I appreciate that so much. Yeah, we just fistpumped.

And we just pounded. I'm sorry, I'm old. Each other. I'm 20. We're pounding each other right now as I speak. Thank you for coming to hell, guys, and I'll talk to you later. Bye.