Berner Phone - Ryan Serhant: Attention Whores & Fearing Failure

Episode Date: January 30, 2019

Not only is he one of the most successful real estate brokers in NYC, but he is also the star of Bravo's Million Dollar Listing, author of Sell It Like Serhant, and founder of his own media entertainment company. Ryan Serhant reveals his strange secrets to success, including never trying to sell yourself and having a crippling fear of failure. LIVE SHOW (use the code BERN for 50% off): http://www.carolines.com/comedian/berning-in-hell-live-podcast/ Follow Hannah Berner on Instagram & Twitter: @beingbernz Follow Ryan Serhant on Instagram & Twitter: @ryanserhant --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Burning Hell I'm your host Hannah burner And today I'm with Ryan Sir Hant He's kind of a big deal Reality TV star Bravo Take a compliment Okay, thank you

Take a compliment He has a sick blog on YouTube What's it called? It's called Ryan Sirhant's blog Love it. creative guy I'm pretty sure I think you know we tried to find a title for it and we had so much feedback about what to title it I can't remember what some of them were and we just didn't like any of them so we're like screw it it's just it's just my blog sometimes keep it simple it's a beautiful

thing yeah true story and you have a book yes did you actually write it yeah it's called sell like sir ham and then the other the show that goes along with it on bravo is sell like sir hand and it's a sales book um and it's awesome and hilarious and everyone should buy it or listen to it I did the audible for it. It took me two days. Oh, shit. But I think it's good. Amazing.

Do you like the sound of your own voice? You could say yes. I could tell you do. Do I? I don't know. Actually, no one's ever asked me that. I don't hate the sound of my own voice. I don't think I'm in love with it.

I really like Morgan Freeman's voice. Ooh. You know, I think there. I feel like you'd be strange, though, if Morgan Freeman's voice came out of your mouth. Wouldn't that be weird? It'd be weird. It would be super weird. Yes.

Do you remember the first time you saw your voice and like yourself on Bravo? yeah i think so but uh you know i was on tv before that i did a soap opera called as the world turns for a while and i played a doctor called evan walsh the fourth and i was killed off and so the first time i saw myself on that show on daytime tv that weirded me out because i just i was like is that what i look like i'd look like that why am i so white like what is why do i look so like disproportionate to other people what do i sound like that's like what do i look so young how come i don't look like a man i was very very very self-conscious. Do you ever look in the mirror and then there's another mirror and it shows a different angle of your face and you're like, who is that monster? Yeah, I broke that mirror.

That mirror is not allowed in my house and I don't go to places with multiple mirrors. That's just terrible. So this is actually an important podcast because this is the first podcast that I can legally announce that I'm going to be on Bravo Summer House. Yes. And I just realized that. Awesome. And congratulations by the way. Thank you. So we're in the Bravo family together. Yes. But I'm nervous about I'm going to see all these little nuances of myself like eating and like my weird reactions but I think I want to embrace it because you have to you have to you have to you have to the best piece of advice I got before a million dollar listing started in 2010 was someone just said listen just go hard like just be yourself but like a harder version and just own it like if you're

weird or you say stupid shit or you fight with people like you just own it because that's that's really what the reality medium is right it's grabbing like authenticity and anyone that just bullshits their way through it they don't last you're so right owning it's the number one thing because everyone fucks up, but if you can own it and be like, hey, I made a mistake or, hey, I lost my cool, people can relate to that. But if you don't own your stuff, then it's like you're not fully committing. Which is like a huge lesson for life. Isn't it weird? Like what we learn from shitty TV, from reality TV, right? But also like being on it, but watching it. Like people, like you watch reality TV and like what you were just saying before we started recording is like,

you know what? Maybe I should talk about my feelings and like get this off my chest and have a conversation with this girl that just yelled at me instead of internalizing it and talking to my therapist next Thursday too right it's like that's that's something that we have now learned not from Tom Cruise we learned it from Bravo right to like you know what bravo should win a fucking Emmy I love Bravo yeah did your friends judge you when you first got on reality because I know that you wanted to be an actor yeah I said that actor for a reason my friends were like you remember I came off a soap opera and so I think it was just sort of par for the course But like when million dollars in New York started, you know, reality TV is big.

Obviously, the housewives were out. There's a lot of different shows. But it's just like exploded in the last eight years. And then with YouTube, with Instagram, with everything, now your connection to the people you see on TV is even greater, especially people on reality TV. Were you ever scared about privacy? Not really. Yeah, because you've got your relationship out there. Everything.

I just, I remember you just being 100% honest. Like sometimes you were a dick. Yeah, sometimes you were a dick. But I was like, you know what? what he's like that friend who you're like yeah he's a dick but i like him great wait where are you from i was born in texas i grew up outside boston oh yeah i think it's the boston i don't think it's the texas yeah but then texas they're kind of you know they're proud yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i remember after the show aired my mom was like you know the things you think are funny aren't funny to other

people i was like were you worried about what your parents were going to say sort of like there's listen like the nudity like the yellow the drama all that stuff i was concerned that my parents were just going to be like what is wrong with you and that's what they said they were like there's there's a lot of episodes that my dad just won't watch i will call ahead and i'll tell my mom i'm like uh tonight's episode is only for you okay because my mom will watch them all and she'll know to tell my dad not to watch and he literally just knows okay tonight i'm not going to watch right i don't need to deal with that shit at thanksgiving i just don't yeah but also i'm trying to move forward and break the stigma of things

i think that's the point of burning in hell i want to break the stigma of talking about stuff that keeps you up at night in your deepest insecurities. And I want to break the stigma of like I drink and I hook up with guys sometimes. Like sorry dad. We're not living in the 1800s. You're not like selling me off to a man to get married. Like this is life. So part of me's like dad you can watch the truth or you can go lie to yourself. Right. And I'm trying to own it. Oh my God. If I have a daughter, I'm not going to put her on reality TV. It will kill me. Are you looking at me scared right now? No, I'm not. I'm like this is this is my life in the future. So you're a driven dude. I mean, you're sitting here at this podcast, you're looking fly, you're probably getting a business call right now. That is a business call. I'll mute it. Oh, no, it's okay. It's okay. I could make you pick it up, but I won't. I'll lose my train of thought. Good. No problem. What drives you? And not just like being successful. What drives you in terms of like, is there a fear or insecurity that drives you? Oh, yeah, sure. My answer was going to be fear. Like just complete fear of failure is like a weird, fucked up thing that drives me. fact that other people are going to do it better just pure competition right because I'm in a

business that is there's no salaries like we're all real estate brokers all 80 000 of us in this city holy shit right and we're all going after the same amount of business and only 11,000 homes sell a year in the same city and it's incredibly cutthroat and everyone's a dick and people are crazy everyone lies to you and I'm like wow that's the business i want to be in that's great that's awesome we can go deeper into that because you're serious you sound like a masochist but you know right it's great yeah so that's I end the day and I go home and I'm like crying a little bit on the inside. I'm like, why do I do this to myself?

But you know what? Don't you feel alive? Yeah, 100%. I live off the adrenaline. I can't go anywhere else. I have team members in Miami and L.A. We do stuff in Chicago. And it's just, it's competitive.

Don't get me wrong. I don't want those agents to kill me. But it's just not the same. There's something about New York that like if you can embrace that the city is trying to kill you, you will live more. I love that quote. I always say when people moved to New York, I'm like, did it, you know, beat you up and spit you out? And they're like, yeah, and I'm like, welcome.

Yeah, exactly. Like, I was walking here today and someone just, like, crushed my shoulder on the way, like a full grown man. And I was like, come on, let's go. And I kept walking. Like, I love the energy of New York City. And it's like, bring it and it'll make me grow. Yeah, of course. As a person.

Yeah. A lot faster than everyone else. Like, I, you know, thinking about like family and starting a family in New York City. And a lot of people say, I don't want to raise kids in New York. I remember going to college and I remember meeting a lot of kids my freshman year who were from New York City and they were fucking cool. Like those kids grew up and I was like from, born in Texas, grew up outside Boston and I'm like, what's binge drinking? Like what is it? Like, wow, the world.

And those kids. I was in rehab at 13 and my therapist told me not to do it anymore. Yeah. But they'd lived a lot. Like they'd seen the world. They were culture. They were interesting. They were intellectually curious.

They were tough. I don't know I think the city has a weird messed up way of like making you stronger and better if you allow it to but most people don't most people let the city chew them up and they leave was there a moment that you almost quit good life okay that got real dark was there a moment that you were like I don't know if I could do real estate right now like I don't know if I could do this oh yeah I mean I would say for the first six years I quit I quit and I don't know if I could do this I mean I would say for the first six years I quit or told my mom I was quitting, like, at least once a week. You sound like a mama's boy. It's adorable. Well, like, who does I have to talk to? True. Like, I couldn't call my friends because they're like, suck it up, dude.

I want to quit my job, too. Like, misery loves company. But, like, the business is so hard. People lie to the face of baby Jesus to save $5, which means they will lie to the real estate broker, which is why people are like, oh, real estate brokers are the worst. Dude, it's because you made us the worst. It's because you don't like confrontation, so you lie to us. You steal from us.

You know, people are just very, very. very tough and real estate brokers are tough as well and it's really hard to make money like at the end of the day does the money drive you or does the success drive you uh the success a hundred percent right the the money i just reinvest back into the business because i'm young and just want to continue to grow and do more things like the vlog and and all of that um but it's the fear failure right like i said before it's like the fact and bravo does that to you as well like i remember not to sidetrack but million-dollar listing i don't know what happened to you but million-dollar listing season one they cast in March of 2010 we started filming at the end of 2011 came out in 2012 and they

started the show with four of us and they said we're going to film the whole season with four of you only three of you are going to make it good luck and we would go to like a listing appointment and the producers would be like oh this is a cool apartment so michael yeah he was with kim karnashian earlier in a 20 million dollar space yeah i don't know if you're going to make it like i lost 20 pounds pure stress freaked out that whole first year but i just went hard on my personality and who I am and I ended up making it so like you think real estate is tough like welcome to TV the entertainment industry is cutthroat because there's no rules yeah and they don't care about you and I don't give a fuck they see either you're bringing them money or you're not yeah yeah yeah

it's crazy and they say the most successful people have insecurity and like a little bit of fear that drives them if you don't have fear and insecurities you don't have that fire under your ass yeah what's your biggest physical insecurity and what's your biggest emotional insecurity my biggest physical insecurity besides how white you are dude that is definitely an insecurity I was overweight as a kid so I always had

it sounds so boring but like I always had like a weight insecurity and like a body insecurity which is probably why I work out all the time right to like keep that in check but that's not boring at all because people don't speak about dudes having like body dysmorphic disorder and guys hating

their bodies it's always about women and I feel like men deal with that all the time yeah for sure I don't think as much right And I think for a woman, it is much harder. Like, I'm okay saying that because I do believe that. But for me, it was, you know, how do I control the things I can't control and how do I give up and not worry about the things that I can't control? And my body was something that I realized, you know, when I was a teenager, like, you know what,

maybe I can control this. Yeah, so I was overweight. Like, I had the worst skin ever. I had to, like, research different dermatologists to, like, save my life. Like, that shit almost killed me. so those were my insecurities emotional insecurities i don't know i definitely like personality wise like when you were going on the show what were you worried about coming off like what would your nightmare be coming off wrong oh i don't know you don't mind being the villain do you no dude

i'm not the villain on that show do you don't watch oh my god you know you're not the villain but in the very beginning i watched that show a while ago you were like no one fucks with me yeah true i guess i'm still that villain's a strong word i'm sorry if you're the be word around you I like it, I like it. I don't think anything on the show made me insecure because I was always sort of like, dude, what I said was funny, man. Don't be such a, but everyone got so sensitive.

And since the editing can make it look not a joke. And listen, since the Millionaire Listening has been on the air, the world has changed. Like, people are super sensitive. I got to be, you got to be super careful with what you say these days. You got to really, really, really think about everything. And for those first couple years,

I just didn't really care. And so I just said whatever came to my mind. and some people weren't okay with it. But it made amazing TV. Yeah, yeah, we're still there. But I would say like emotional insecurity for me outside of the show is just like codependency. Like I'm terrified of getting too close to people because I can and then you'll lose them and then you'll be destroyed. Wow.

I just want to let that sit for a second. Okay, great. But also you have had a successful relationship on TV, which is remarkable. Yeah. She does it for me. She doesn't do it for anybody else. I can tell she's a little shyer than you. Yeah.

Do you think that makes you guys work that you're kind of different? Yes, we are definitely different. She works really, really hard. She loves being a wife. She's a great wife. And she doesn't need the TV and kind of all that stuff that I was born needing for some fucked up reason. You know, and she does it for me because she loves me, but she has no desire to like go out there and put herself out there. She doesn't want to go out and do any of that stuff.

She's like a Greek wife, future mom, like through and through. Oh, the Greeks are great. Yeah. And they're great with family. Yes. I'm Italian, so it's a little similar. Yeah, very similar. They love to eat.

What do you think you would do if you didn't get this kind of attention? I would combust. No, no. Because I have that, too. Like, I was as a tennis player, I'd get a ton of attention. And then when I quit tennis, I felt so empty. Yeah, for sure. And then I was like, if I don't get something going, like, I don't know what life's about.

And I feel fortunate that I got something going now. But it's like, is it chance or like, was it just that I needed it and I got what I wanted? It's like an interesting. Well, it's what they say about luck, right? It's opportunity meets preparation. So like you've been preparing to get the attention that you're getting your whole life, whether you knew it or not. And so I think the same thing for me. Like I always wanted to somehow be on TV.

So I went to school for theater. I thought that's what I was going to do. I moved to the city to do theater. And I thought that's what I was going to do and try to do TV. And it didn't work. And I ran out of money. And so I got into real estate and said, screw it. I love that you've ran out of money before.

It makes you so much more interesting. Oh, good. Great. Yeah, those were terrible times. Glad everyone loves it. But I got into real estate just to pay bills. Like, I didn't want to be a broker. Like, I didn't dream of selling apartments or houses.

I had no idea what I was doing when I started. It was just literally to pay bills. And then, like, luck, right? There was an open casting call. And my boss was like, didn't she used to be on a soap opera? You know what you told us? And was like, yeah. And they're like, well, this reality thing for real estate, you should go there.

I'm like, dude, I started real estate yesterday. They're like, yeah, but don't tell them that. Just tell them you're awesome. So I went and I went to the audition and they were like, who are you? I'm like, I am awesome. They're like, wow, this guy's great. But you have such like a multifaceted business right now, which is so cool. Like, I love the multiple sources of revenue happening.

And I think that's kind of modern day. You have to. You have to. And no one's telling you not to. Like, I don't work at a bank, you know? Like, I'm not an attorney. Yeah. Like what I love about being 1099, what I love about being independent, as scary as it can be,

is there's just no ceiling. There's also no floor, right? But there is no ceiling. Like, no one's going to come to me and say, you sold too much this year. Ryan, you need to pipe it down, right? It's going to affect your bonus. Like, that doesn't exist. And I never, ever, ever want a boss like that.

And I never will have one. So we can, like, just create the content that we want to create, put it out there, change the world. Yeah. And your sales book is so interesting to me because people don't give a fuck what you're selling. Yeah, true. You can sell anything just like your show. Yeah. And do you have any kind of two cents to selling yourself?

Don't. I think the biggest mistake most people make when selling themselves are selling as a product is they actually try to sell, right? Like think about any analogy I like to use, and it's good for you for this show. It's like, think about dating, right? Selling yourself, selling a product is just like dating. Like if a guy walks into a bar and sits next to you and says, hey, how are you?

My name is Ryan. Would you like to have sex with me? you might say sure but like most people would probably not right it's like a guy sliding into your dm's going want to go on a date you're like whoa buddy exactly you're on private i don't know you are um but if you start with who you are what your name is and don't focus on the cell you will sell just by default right so it's like you just take care of the work do the work and the work will take care of you i love that i love it so much um going back to your relationship though speaking of dating were you kind of a playboy back in the day not really i think i try to be

but I'm really terrible at dating. I'm really awkward. I can't pick up girls in bars. Like, it was never my thing. I just met people in the most random places. Like, Amelia, I met at a Hanukkah party because I went to meet a developer who was Jewish, like, at the lighting of the first candle

of the menorah. And she's not Jewish either. No, she's not. She was working for him when she came to the U.S. for like a two-week stint just to see her brother. And so, yeah, so I met her there on 95th Street at a townhouse. And we were the two non-Jews in that party. So you bonded over your life.

lack of religion. I love that. Yeah, and my Yamaka kept falling off. I didn't, I didn't know the song. She thought I was gay. And so she came up to me because I was a non-threatening, really tall, white, gay guy. And, you know. Because you're dressed well. Right, exactly. And she was just like, oh, in New York, all guys are gay. And little did she know. Surprise. Yeah. Yeah, not gay right now. Just Metro. Yeah, exactly. Just, just care. I just care. What I love about that story is it's not like, suddenly she gave you the confidence to be this, like, you know, prince of a man. It's like, no, you were same awkward funny self and she liked you for those insecurities you know it's beautiful how did you know that to take her seriously like was there

a moment that you're like oh this girl and i work um i i was immediately attracted to her the minute i walked into that room um and then i was then i freaked out and got nervous and awkward and went and stood in a corner next to another guy the whole time which is just what you do which is why she thought i was good right and it was like this really big guy so she was like oh so he's so he's clearly not the dominant one in that relationship. Definitely a bottom. Exactly. And then I, so how did it happen?

So she was taking all like the charitable donation receipts because it was like giving to a museum or something like that. And so I gave like a hundred bucks. And so she emailed me the next day. Big spend it. Yeah. Exactly. Back in the day.

So she emailed me the next day with like the receipt in the email and I wrote back like that's all I get. And she wrote back something like, what else do you want? And in a moment, the one moment of my life, I had. balls i wrote back drinks tonight and just like ran away from my computer because i didn't know what was going to happen and she wrote back like ha where it was like what just happened holy mother of god did that just work i cannot believe that just worked holy shit i wonder if she still thinks i'm gay i'm going to have to fix this she sits down with you and she's like so what kind of guys

do you like i'll hook you up i want a gbf so we we met that night we've been together since that's so fucking beautiful it's weird i know what's your sign cancer she's cancer too we're born, I'm July 2nd, she's July 3rd. Interesting. Yeah. I like to act like I could know about horoscopes, but I just want to ask that question. Why do you think you're so confident when it comes to like being put in front of a whole nation on TV, but then one pretty girl gets you feeling awkward? Because the nation on TV can't say anything to my face.

I'm hiding in my living room. Like they're out there somewhere, you know, and the girl in front of me can reject me and destroy my life. They say girl's biggest fear is getting murdered and guy's biggest fear is getting rejected. Yeah, it's true. It's true. I don't know why. You're like, kill me. I'll be that. Yeah, exactly. When I'm dead, I can't get rejected by a girl, right? Exactly. Reject me all you want. I'll be dead. So how is the Ryan sitting right here in front of me different from the Ryan who is the first season of Bravo?

And not in terms of money and stuff like that. More just like how you. believe in yourself and carry yourself? I'm far more self-aware, like, just because I have to be. One, I'm older. It's eight years later, but I'm aware more of, like, my surroundings, how I affect people. Like, that's a big thing that I think, you know, anyone in our position has learned, you know, that, like, the things I say affect other people, how I affect other people's days and their moods and their feelings.

It's something that I probably never paid attention to before that I pay attention to now because I need people around me to, like, be good and work hard. because I'm a boss now versus eight years ago when I was just like renting $2,000 a month apartments to three girls named Sarah. Like it's, you know, my life has changed. Actually, I need one of those right now. Yeah? Yes.

We'll put up two convertible walls. It's going to be great. Oh, the convertible walls. They're great. Especially when she has a boyfriend. Yeah. Before we play a fun game, I have one final question. This is a little dark.

Okay. When was the last time you were depressed? December. so like a month ago um i i ride an emotional roller coaster i used to i used to kind of equate it to like peaks and valleys that way where i would sit and like find moments of complete emptiness for no reason whatsoever and i never could understand it because it was like it wasn't like bipolar right it was just sort of like everything's good relatively speaking i have a great life but why why why like why do i feel so empty and in december it was it was a lot market related right like the

The stock market was crashing, the housing market around New York City was crashing, so much negativity in the media and the press. And then every single client, banker attorney, everyone I talked to all day long in December was like, oh hey, how's the end of the world treating you? And it just like, it just got to me. Like it just literally got to me to me,

my best friend, Caleb, who's also a broker, we're like, fuck this, we're going to Tahoe to ski for a weekend. And we just got back two days ago. How was it? It was great. I just went down a mountain over and over and just didn't pay attention.

to anything but not dying but if you die it's okay you know that's part of life at least i won't get rejected by no one get rejected what's your advice for getting out of those funks because it's true life comes in waves yeah and sometimes it's just like i don't know why i girls blame hormones guys blame i could blame the moons i could blame mercury and retrograde but like sometimes you're you can't always be feeling yourself sure how do you get out of that funk you write lists so i love list a pro and con list of like everything that's good in my life right now and then everything that's bad. And I swear to you, when you do that,

the pro list always is longer than the con list, always, every time. So basically you step out of that, like... You have to. Like, the same way, like, if you have, like, a stitch, right? They tell you to bend over, just breathe, and you have to, like, get your diaphragm back so you can, like, recatch your breath. It's the same thing.

Like, when you're feeling empty, you're feeling down. Just, like, sit down and say, what's great in my life? Breakfast was great today. Okay, so that's one thing. My parents are live. That's not another thing because my friend just lost her mom. Like, you literally write down everything. Like, oh, I did.

a deal yesterday or I got this on a school paper, whatever it is, and then write down what's stressing you out. And it's like, Jim said this to me, what else is stressed? Why am I so, I don't understand. And then it's over. You feel better. It works every time. Your perspective completely shifts. Yeah. Because you make it all relative. Like it's everything is relative. You know, the way you feel nothing actually changed. They say even like with an anxiety attack, just sit there for a second. Of course. And be like, you know, my bed is red. This, this wall is green. And like, just feel yourself in that moment to get out of that like spiral of a negative voice. Yeah, of course.

That is probably lying to you. Yeah, always. It's always lying to you. So I'm going to end with a final game. Seven Deadly Sins. Is this why we're in hell? Is that what's happening right now? Exactly.

That's why it's been a little hot in here if you haven't noticed. It's starting to steam up. I'm going to go through all these sins and you're going to just give me the answer. It's a pretty complicated game. Okay, great. what are you greedy about um attention i love that we're both attention horrors yeah attention they get a bad rap but it's like it's in me it's since i was little i was like bringing my friends together like i'm going to be a teacher and you're going to listen to me i'd like tell him to shut up

it's just who i am yeah but i guess you have to realize when you're being an attention horror because you love it versus when you're using it to suppress your issues yeah i think i probably do both being pretty honest about that my therapist told me one thing that was interesting. You don't always have to show off in front of everyone, and sometimes people like you more when you give them space. And I was like, can you shut up for a second? I was telling a story. Stop fucking with my vibe therapist. God, this is about me right now, okay? But space is a beautiful thing that, like, you ever be on a date and the girl doesn't ask you a question? And you're like, she could be hilarious, but you're like, fuck this girl. Yeah, yeah. She doesn't care. She doesn't care.

So I'm working on. Like asking questions, listening. Yeah, it's an amazing thing. especially with a podcast because people would be like, don't talk over people. And I'm like, fine. I guess I'll listen to the person I'm interviewing. Who are you envious of? Brokers who are better than me, I would say. What makes a better broker? Is it their relationships?

Is it luck? Is it a combination of it? It's a combination of it all. It's where they're from. It's how many people they know, how they're better networkers, how they're better night people than I am and they can go out and do that whole thing. And I can't do that. and I don't know

I think I have like what is that like an inferiority complex of you know being where I am was it am I actually here or is it all just bullshit

will you ever be content I don't know probably not how does your wife deal with that she doesn't she just like she has breakdowns

every day about it but I'm not allowed to talk about that when I get home everything's calm when I get home well it sounds like she is the calming influence

100% and she brings you to the space that's not highly competitive she's my pro and con list I would tell her, like, what's stressing me out or what's overwhelming me. And she's like, what is wrong with you? Like, you know what?

Whatever, you don't get me. But she does get me. And that's why she does that to me. That's why she does that. She knows what you need. She's not going to build you up. She calls you out in your bullshit. Exactly.

I need that in a man. What do you gluttonous about besides attention? What am I gluttonous about? Domino pizza. Do you eat unhealthy? On Saturdays, I do. Yeah. Eat everything I possibly can.

and I'm going through like a mood right now where like domino's like the works pizza is the greatest thing in the world and I think about it all week it literally gets me through the week I love that yeah I don't know that's my answer it's like always a fat kid at heart yeah true story I get ice cream I have pancakes in the morning for one day a week I do whatever the fuck I want good for you yeah when was the last time you were a sloth like really lazy like was there a lazy period of time uh that's a hard one for me probably not I mean Do you let yourself relax? Not really.

I try to, but I'm uncomfortable when I'm fully relaxed or fully lazy. I don't know. My answer to that would be super boring. Like, I slept until 9, one Saturday. You're adorable. Yeah. This was early for me. This podcast was at 1.30.

Okay. You're like down in coffee before he sat down? I literally chugged a coffee to be like, got to wake up for this ship. When was the last time you let your pride get in the way of something? Every day. every day you are very self-aware do you have a therapist though i do yes i want to talk about this stuff i talk about like specific issues and how to handle them before i kill people um that's what i talk about like hamway my blogger next to me um and other than that yeah no i listen pride is

is a tough thing especially for guys i do i don't you know i i try to stay as humble as possible because at the end of the day like i'm i'm like a glorified waiter like i'm just a real estate broker I don't build these apartments. I literally just get paid tips, right? And the tips are large. And it's not my... It's not me. New York City is the one that invented all these crazy prices.

You're like a fancy middleman. Yeah, that's all I am. And so I don't take my sales seriously. Like, everything is what it is. I'm super grateful for everything that we have and that we work for. But, like, the pride can get in the way, you know? I love that. When was the last time you lusted over someone?

Or something. Yeah. I don't know like dude Instagram makes that so hard makes it so hard I like unfollow and follow people all day long I'm like nope can't follow that can't do it can't do it the thirst traps are real yeah they are real how does your wife feel about you following um she's not allowed to go through my Instagram so it's a rule that we have how do you feel honestly no because who do I she has Chris Hemsworth that's hers right Thor like if he walks in the door then I need to move okay um and mine is doolipa so

Yeah, she's the greatest thing in the world. Okay, cool. That's a good answer, actually. Yeah, if you meet her, please let me know. Okay. You have a lot going on, and you've a lot of success. What's your next goal? What's the next thing you're trying to take over?

Take over? Honestly, my next goal is being a dad. Yeah, that's my next goal. You're going to make me cry. Don't cry. So we're working on that at the moment. So that's like my next thing that I haven't thought about a lot of because it's just so crazy and so freaky,

but we'll see what happens. Do you think being a dad's going to change you? 100%. Yeah. I don't know how, but because I've never done it before. But I see it in like my little brother who's like such a little bitch. And now I see him with his daughter. And I'm like, who are you?

He's like a different person. He's literally a different person. He's the same person, but he's just like better. And he's a dad now. And I'm like, I don't know. I mean, hopefully that happens to me. I feel like it'll shift your priorities. Like someone will do something stupid with a deal.

And then you'll be like, there's more important things like my kid. Right. I think I'll also unfollow every girl on Instagram because like it's if I have a daughter right that's what I'll do I'm going to be a super super tough dad like like Will Smith and bad boys do like that's going to be me I love that right like I'm not afraid to go back to jail for this I was just telling Ryan how my parents they I mean I have like inappropriate insta stories and I do funny videos and my dad kind of knows I'm like yeah your daughter has sex and your daughter says stupid shit and I curse like a sailor and that's what happens

but you know what he never worries about me like I want him to be worried or protective yeah honesty is the best policy what he says to me whenever I'm like oh I'm seeing someone new he goes don't ruin his life and then he continues watching the nick game so I think at least he knows I'm tough yeah good I want to end this podcast with one final question yeah what do you what kind of advice do you have for people who are going through their hell and how to get out of it I would say that, you know, it's never as bad as you think it is, right? And whether that means you have to sit down and write a list or make it relative or just do what I did and fuck off to Tahoe for two days and literally just forget about everything, right?

Like, tomorrow is always another day. And I had a really, really close friend who committed suicide when I was in college. And he was a fraternity brother. And I remember talking to my dad on the phone as I was about to go to his funeral. And it was just so fucked. Like the whole situation was just like, like you can't comprehend when something like that happens. And, you know, and my dad said that to me.

He was like, listen, the sun is always going to rise. Tomorrow's always another day. You can always pick up. You can move. You can do whatever you want. Like, that's the greatest thing about the year in which we live now. Like, it is 2019. You do not have to be stuck in hell.

You can literally fuck off somewhere else. And everything is going to be okay. I swear. I love that so much. Ryan, thank you. you for coming everyone follow ryan surhant at ryan surhan is there any underscore anything no i don't think so no i don't believe in underscores he's straight up he doesn't do underscores follow me at being burns check out ryan's blog and i'll see you next time in hell