Berner Phone - Sam Morrill: The Joker & Taylor Swift Of Comedy

Episode Date: July 8, 2021

The hysterical Sam Morrill enters hell and goes in depth to explain his role on "The Joker", his reality tv stint on "America's Got Talent" and how he recorded a comedy special during a global pandemic on rooftops. He is one of the best joke writers in the biz and in spite of social anxiety, he knows how to use his demons to make us all pee our pants of laughter.--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Burning in Hell. Okay, what is up? We are in the fiery, dark depths of hell. I am with comedian Samaril, who is in a form of hell known as Tampa. He is one of the best joke writers in the city. I'm a little biased. He's also New Yorker. And he has specials out on.

YouTube. He's been on every late night show. He's the man around town. Sam, welcome to hell. Oh, thank you. Yeah, this is hotter than hell on Tampa. It's like 90 here. It's crazy. I was just saying, you have a lot of bits about Tampa. And I feel like New Yorkers love to make fun of Florida in a fun way. But how's it going down there? Yeah, I played this club every year for like the last decade. So it just, it used to be run by this crazy drunk named Bobby Jewel, who was hilarious. He had like a hairpiece. We love a full name. name call out whatever he doesn't he's he'd be honored he he likes the attention like he will he's a type of dude that would walk into the club and and kind of pose like he was al bundy on married with children

like like he thought he deserved applause when he walked in and he was just he was just absurd human being hairpiece charlie sheen two and a half men shirt 58 but he kills a bottle of whiskey in one sitting easy and he would call you a pussy for not keeping up and you're like dude he's like you used to used to be a man and drink with me I was like yeah I was 24 like I have I have things to do now I can't slur my entire set he's one of those dudes he'll give you a drink and instead of like he'd be like you pussy I'm like this is your club he would he would call people across the club he'd he would look at customers and be like what are you looking at pussy and I'd be like this is your venue what's wrong with you he's heckling his own customer he was nuts but he was hilarious

I mean, he really was funny. I recently had a club owner. I asked, I was like, can I film my set? And he was like, I don't know. There might be some couples out there that, you know, are cheating on their significant others and I don't want anyone to see them. I was like, what?

Yeah, what an idiot. Were you also in Tampa? Is that what it was? Pretty much the same. But I love that you have these two specials out on YouTube that have accumulated truly, like, viral views. And you're also doing great on TikTok. And you're an old school, which I appreciate, you're an old school comic, like you started from

basements in Brooklyn or wherever you were. I'm just making that up. I don't know your story. But you've kind of warmed up to the idea of like the digital media and using it to just have your jokes be heard more. What is it like becoming a digital influencer? Well, you know, you have to put your ego to the side a little bit because, you know, a lot of comics, like, I just want to be on this platform or that platform. Well, early on, I was on those platforms. You know, I did two Comedy Central specials. And no one watches TV. So you get money, but no one watches. So you're just on the road, like expecting people to come out from the special and they're not there. So it's crazy that they start coming out once you put it on

YouTube. And I have friends who would mock me for being on TikTok. They'd be like, my friend Joe Mackey's like, hey, they take your data. And I'm just like, cool, I need to sell tickets on the road if I'm going to keep doing this. So take my data. Hell, I mean, anyone who's on their phone, Everyone knows everything already. I know it's like, are you on Facebook? Guess what they're doing? You know? Yeah. Also, I'll take attention wherever I can get it.

Someone cares to take my data. That's kind of makes me feel good about myself. Exactly. Like, we're all screwed at this point. You have a smartphone. You're on Facebook. Like, it's same with those vaccine people. They're like, they're going to put a government chip in me.

Okay, but you're on Facebook. They know where. And also, guess what they know where you are. If they want to find you, they'll find you. Also, if you eat deli meat, you can take the vaccine. True. Very true. also I did a little research on you beforehand because we've met briefly in the scene but I've

never been able to like truly delve into your mind so I'm excited about this why are people calling you the Taylor Swift of comedy oh that was I think just a joke because I put out two specials last year so they were like oh he's just throwing everything away he's just giving everything away I think that was a joke or because like during quarantine she put together like a cool special what's cool about what you did is you went on rooftops random people's rooftops and because you I'm just explaining what you did I did a little research most specials you'd like record it two or three times and you take the best bits but you said the shows were so crazy that you just kept kind of filming throughout and edited together a ton of rooftops but like strangers rooftops

yeah well my friend Matt Salakuse who directed it uh he was he was filming me and he was like this is beautiful, like this looks so cool on the roofs. We have to just keep doing it. And also like everyone thought that was some like bold artistic choice that I did all these roofs. I couldn't have a good set all the way through because a mic would go out or something crazy would happen on the roof.

So we kept some of the ugliness because it was funny. But I, I, I, yeah, it looked cool to get all those different backdrops. And it did seem like kind of like special to do it and, you know, you know, do a show in Murray Hill, doing one in Bushwick, do one in the West Village, doing in Williamsburg so that was kind of cool and Matt was like this will be like manhattan the opening of manhattan like where he but you know without the pedophilia type guilt associated with it no he wasn't a pedophile but she was like 17 18 whatever she was where you're like I don't feel

good about this and and also we all know it goes along with Woody so you know it was a special experience and I do look at it now and like man I'm proud I did that just on these rooftops we'd find roof by I put it in Instagram stories because I do all these shows and they'd be like come to the East River Amphitheater you can do 10 minutes and I'd be like no I'm not going to go I need at least 45 minutes to build an act like that's why I'm on the road every week I can't write in the city I need to be a way where they let me do an hour so I just started organizing my own shows I said give me a roof a mic and amp bring some white claw or beer and I'll show up and bring your friends so I've also heard that you have some social anxiety as so do I

That takes balls to like go to a Murray Hill friend group and be like, can I make some jokes in front of you? Yeah. Well, it started because a couple people were like, you know, because the clubs weren't open and we needed somewhere to perform. And someone was like, will you perform my roof? I'll pay you. And I was like, all right.

That was the thing. I did one for free because they were like all, it was like open mic or comics house and I didn't charge anybody. And they all showed up late or they didn't show up. And I was like, oh, I need to charge people or they won't have any investment in the roof show. and it was so weird but we just kept doing it and I'm so glad I did it

but at the same time it's something I never want to do again like I look at some of the laughs I got and I'm like man I would kill to hear that joke pop in a club with ceilings and a wall because the jokes just disappear into the air were you ever tempted to do that thing where they do in specials where like you make people laugh

in the beginning and just pull their audio and beef up the laughs it just would have sound weird because it was outdoors so they would have known it was a lie you know it's a it was it was really an amazing experience because of like you're right it is weird to just show up at someone's home and a lot of them just didn't believe i'd show up like i felt like a realtor or something i like they'd send me roof pictures i'd be like this is i can't work with this give me something else you know i'd look at roofs and i sent to matt salikus the director and he would be like no this is this is too steep this is too narrow we can't fit enough people on this roof so

we were rejecting people's roofs it was so weird uh and then he brought his friend dominic mall who showed up with a drone camera so we got these overhead city views oh yeah the opening shot was so sick and aesthetically pleasing where you like see the bridge in the background and you're standing there but then you really see that there's like 14 people yeah well that was down by the south street seaport and we couldn't use anything from that show i mean this is the example of all the things that went wrong. We couldn't use any audio from that show because I don't know what happened, but for some reason, the audio just kept cutting out. So we couldn't get a joke all the way through. I mean, the crowd was horrible, that show anyway, but that's, usually

you get one or two jokes. I had a few big pops here that we could have used. But like, you're just, you're not consistently getting explosive laughs outdoors. So that's kind of why I had to shift around to get. Yeah, the laughs naturally will die and go back to like quiet or just hear the buzz of the city fucking pigeon shits on you I mean you've done distance shows right even with the distance shows you're kind of like man I did a show in Arlington

DC it's in a movie theater and people were kind of distanced and the last were just the ceilings were too high the last kind of go away and you're like that's where you realize you need a good crowd will keep the laughter going to the next joke so you have momentum and each joke keeps killing harder and harder and you get in a rhythm

and it's almost like you're playing off their energy there's like a dance and there's no dance you're like dancing kind of alone on a roof show. I love how comedians become like sound engineers. Like after a show I'll go up to the comics and I'm like, is that angle of the ceiling

kind of weird for how it'll hit? And they're like, yeah, yeah, this is not going to work. Like we all are obsessed with the architecture and the lighting and everything. When I used to watch comedy as just a fan and I would never think that the comics even know about the crowd or care about the crowd or the venue.

I think they're just thinking about like their lines when like the last thing you think about is your material I feel like yeah no I usually have a decent idea unless I'm doing a ton of new stuff in which case I'm like I just bring the notes up anyway now I'm just you know it I that's a big problem of mine too I'll spend a lot of the day writing and then I'll just memorize like two lines of it and be like all right this is this is going to take a while like the jokes you have but then I also am like well I'm gonna work I can write a lot but then I if I spend half the day memorizing then I'm kind of screwed you know because I don't

I don't get to try it at all. As a new comic, I will joke with my fiancé Des because he'll be like, okay, write new jokes. And then I'll write a ton of jokes because that's how I work. I won't write a ton of jokes. But then I cannot find a way to put them all in in the act like that night. Like, everyone has a different way of structuring it. But it's interesting that you go on the road and you kind of, you like to write on stage and like an off stage and have that full hour to kind of make mistakes or grow or twist and turn. Well, yeah, exactly.

I try to sneak it in. Like if I have a bit on cops, I can segue into a bit to race or something, right? If I've been on race, I can segue into like a Black Lives Matter protest joke. And I can just keep segueing and I can keep finding subjects. So it sounds like it's the same joke going on and on. And that's a good way to sneak new jokes in because if the joke bombs, you just sandwich it in between other ones. So it just kind of, you can kind of keep it rolling, I think. Yes.

And you're considered one of the hardest working comics in the city. And that's like New York comics are crazy. in that way, doing like 16, 17, 17, 18 sets a week. At what point when quarantine hit, were you scared for your life of like, like, how long did you not do comedy? I didn't do it a lot. I didn't do a lot of shows. I mean, I would still try to write, but a lot of my writing is on stage.

So it's pretty tough. And I didn't feel like I was being productive. And it was probably the worst time of my life. I was staying with my girlfriend in California. We were having a lot of fun. But she's also a comic. and I think she was similarly losing her mind. So it's tough, two comics, like that's all these,

they wanted to do a reality show about us. There was like an offer and I was just like, yeah, that's what I want to be, a fucking reality star now. Like, I'm already spiraling out of control. You don't have to personally attack me. I know, I'm sorry. I completely agree, but also.

How do you have social anxiety and you're on a reality show? to me insane you never you never see that you never see i didn't come here to make friends mostly because of my social anxiety that's why no like it was this party show but i actually like don't like drink you that much and i have social anxiety so i and like for a comic it's not a great mix but also if you were to do my last season of summer house was during quarantine we were locked in a house so obviously it's your craziest moments so like you and your girlfriend stuck inside during your craziest moments is TV gold, but you'll get torn apart because you'll be so fucking vulnerable and not like really your authentic self during that time. But I do feel like stand-up comedy is a form of reality

TV where you're showing a version of like your life and your thoughts, but you get to control the editing. Yeah. I mean, that's that's a good point. It's like confessionals. Yeah. I mean, we are now all throwing up clips all the time and we are throwing. So it's like, but that's so important to comics like having final cut right i mean that's why i hate doing specials on like when you're in a group like i did the half hour on comedy central you're not in the editing room they butcher you know parts of a story to fit commercial breaks and i don't think it's meant to be seen like that like you'd never do that to a movie right so that always bothered me and then you know i've done america's got talent i've done last comic standing like it sucks when someone else tries to tell the story of your

life because they're never going to tell it in a way that's pleasing to you a thousand percent because also we're so much more complex than like whatever line they're putting in somewhere to make a bigger story work yeah but it's those shows are casting so they're like this guy will be this this guy will be that so yeah oh man america's got talent was one of the worst experiences of my life i mean why because they just don't care about you they just treat you like dog shit like i'd be there and uh i'd be like in a in a casting room for you know uh was it mbc whatever it's on and you're just sitting there and i'm just like social anxiety it's like it's one thing to be around comics who are driving you nuts but these

are people who are nuts from all walks of life like my mom is my mom is texting me and she's just like just read a book and i'm like mom there's two there's a fat couple from atlantic city dancing mombo number five two feet next to me you think i can get lost in literature right now i'm losing it so you're there for like 12 hours they're like you're watching the crew eat like craft services well they throw like a cold tuna sandwich at you and then you're like hungry you're like this I'm hungry, I'm malnourished. Yeah, they don't feed you. They barely feed you.

They feed you just in a... Ring snacks if you're on reality TV. They want you to be irritable on camera. And then, boy, I'm already irritable. Even if you feed me, I mean, look, I'm my back's out. I got my theragon right here. I'm losing my mind. Also, you have the pointiest theragon, which is, I don't know what that means about where you are.

I was just, I do the pointy one for my spine. I try to get in there. Got it. But I, man, I sound like an annoying Jew. But, and this is the other head I use. years from my massage this is great content right here I'm giving you and then yeah so then you losing your mind you get called up it was it sucked for me because I was there the year simon cow was a judge and i feel like howard stern would have liked me way more because he he appreciated stand-ups

but simon in the first round i watched him just eviscerate this uh this jewish or like orthodox jewish rapping combo and i was like i thought they were pretty good it was kind of like i was like these guys are kind of interesting at least and he just eviscerated this them and they kind of walked off and they're like, you're up next. I'm like, great. And I did some theater and I crushed the theater. It went really well. I knew what they were trying to hate me. So Simon's like, tell me your worst comedy story. And I just told a story about a guy walking up to me and spitting on me. That was a pretty bad one during a set. And he's like, well, I hope you're better than I. So I was like, all right, I built some, you know, maybe

underdog likeability to go into this. And I killed. Then after I get off stage, they go, well, let you, I got a standing O in that in a 5,000 cedar did like my best jokes killed. Even Simon was like, I didn't want to like you, but I'm like, why? Why didn't you want to like me? What the hell is wrong with you? Uh, you're not, you're, you seem like a biased judge. So it went really well. I get off stage and they're like, we'll see if you move on. I'm like, what do you mean? We'll see. They just said you moved on. They're like, that's not how it works. So we got to run it past. We got to run it up the ladder. And I'm like, scary spice. That's not the ladder. Like, what the hell? So I'm, I'm waiting forever. And, uh, I'm, I'm waiting forever. And, uh,

After a month, they're like, we'll see you again. So I go back out there, and they put me in a hotel. There's a construction so you can't sleep. You're staying in the hotel. They have you there for like 12 hours. Like, your call time's 10 a.m. Like, all right, I go on stage at midnight. That's what time they have me go on.

So I'm just in a room with people. They're trying to get you to shit talk, the other acts. I would just troll them. Like, they would be like, FaceTime your girlfriend. And then I would just say things like, I'd be like, wouldn't it be cool if you sat on my face right now? And they're like, we can't use this. I'm like, good. I only want you to use the stand-up.

I don't like whatever. And they're like, wouldn't it be cool to win? And you do a residency in Vegas. And I'm like, no, Vegas fucking sucks. I hate Vegas. So then finally they put me on the late show. And I do fine, but I, you know, Simon's like, you were funnier the first time. He's like, you were fine, but you were funnier the first time.

I'm like, well, it's midnight. And these audience here has been here for 10 hours. So this isn't ideal. And I also follow like a Destiny's Child rip-off. It was just a bad. situation, but then, you know, people love that show. People love, sorry, that was the longest story ever. No, I was really into it because I was into American Idol growing up.

Also, I used to watch your show on MSG. No, you didn't. I'm a New Yorker. I'm a Knicks fan. I know, but I feel like no one watched that show. It's hilarious. Well, apparently got nominated for an Emmy. We got nominated for a local Emmy, which in New York is not, it's pretty cool.

I mean, because you're up against like, you know, The Joe Girardi show on the Yankees Network. I was like, this is kind of cool. So we got nominated for an Emmy. They hated me at the MSG Network. They did not find me funny. They would literally cut, I would do a monologue, and they would cut every joke. And I was just like, they'd be like, you're punk rock for this network, your comedy.

I'd be like, you guys hate me. You all hate me. So it was a nightmare, but I also had a great time because I got to interview all these cool people. And I'm a huge Knicks fan, so it was insane. I feel like it was cool. you seem like that guy next door that could be like at the bar watching any anything with you so you sitting there with like michael strahan or like whoever you were interviewing i could tell you were excited and there was something like very relatable about it and then you had that little

roundtable with like people i knew so that was fun it was so fun i think i was biased maybe no probably it was such a new york show i mean it was definitely the format i wanted and i love i mean i basically just copied bill marr's format i would do like a little stand-up an interview and then then a panel. So it was pretty much a half hour version of that. And yeah, yeah, I got to interview like Fat Joe and Action Bronson and, you know, Daryl Strawberry, Evander Holyfield. It was insane. A lot of them are on YouTube. Did you also feel like you weren't able to be yourself or were you just full yourself and then let them destroy it in the edit? A little bit of both. Like I was definitely toned. Like they would make, Knicks would make a bad signing. I'd be like, why did they pay all this money

to Tim Hardaway Jr.? And they'd be like, you can't. critique the team on their network you know so basically i you know i just had to i say well this is how fans talk you hire me to be a fan and yeah so they would always get i remember when charlottesville happened i did a whole monologue that i thought was really funny and kind of condemned them also being really silly and i got off and it was like a big applause from the crew and i was like oh that was epic i like high-fived anthony devito who was my co-host and i asked the producer i was like so so he's like that was great i was like you're going to use it he goes none of it all we'll make it And I was like, wait, why?

And he's like, because we have fans upstate. And I was like, upstate. And he's like, you know, fans upstate New York. And I was just like, racist. What is that? I don't know what that means. People that support the Jews will not replace us. And they were just like, we can't.

But I mean, the thing is I had, I met a lot of great people there too. I had a great time. But it did in some ways it really bummed me out because I want, it's hard to make a good sports comedy show. And I feel like we had the ingredients. And it was, we were just very. censored because it's not, you know, I get it. It's like a family type network. Sporting events have become more family oriented. I completely understand. But I always wanted to make like a sports show the way, as you said, like the guy at the bar who's, I don't even need to be dirty.

It's just the way you would talk. Yeah, exactly. And I also feel like that experience though might have helped you make those decisions to go for YouTube because you've had so much censoring experience but also do you have any fear now that the world is kind of censoring a lot of comedy like with what you put out there do you think twice what's your mental state on that i don't really worry i don't think about it too much i mean i definitely like you know corporations are definitely much more paranoid i mean uh i i don't think about it because i just don't feel like i have that much to lose like what are they going to do like take away my youtube special i'm playing strip malls like what can you really take for me i i don't know if i was on like a hit tv show

maybe I'd be like, ooh, should I write this joke? But I also feel like, yeah, I do think a lot of the times we act like people are outraged, but really it's just like 10 people on Twitter and they want attention. And there are always going to be people that you walk from the crowd at shows. There's always going to be people that you don't like your humor. But like, there are people that are going to be offended by Brian Regan and the cleanest comedians ever. So, you know, Jim Gaffigan's offended people. Jim is, you know, and Jim is like you'd think would be so mainstream, I mean, he is.

Anti-cinibund people, you know? Yeah, dude, the Hot Pocket. They're like, we don't like Hot Pockets. This is offensive. No, he, no, Jim is one of the best ever. And it's like, it's hilarious to me that no matter what you do, you'll offend people. So just do what you feel comfortable with. And I'm way more worried a joke is hack than it's going to offend people.

That's where my fears are. But, yeah, we've all crossed the line. like you know why because they keep moving the goalpost in so sometimes an edgy joke doesn't age very well and that's fine you could just say well that was funny at the time and maybe it's not funny now and uh i mean shit there's jokes on the office where you're like they couldn't do that today that's just how comedy works that's yeah i i saw you in an article on like 30 rock they use the r word as they say alec baldwin who i don't know what he's up to now but yeah things have obviously evolved and changed. But I want to go a little more into your mental health, getting a little darker

in hell. So you have social anxiety, but you are able to go in front of huge crowds and speak publicly. Can you tell me more about when you knew you had social anxiety, how it manifests within you? Well, yeah, I think I feel it more like the show is easy. The meet and greet is hard. You know, the being yourself is a little harder. I mean, I perform every night. So I'm just so used to being on stage. I mean, there's a difference between entertaining and connecting. You know, I do feel like a joke in some ways. I sure a lot of people would disagree with this, but I do think, like, you are kind of deflecting with a joke. You're kind of pushing people. Like, you're letting them in sometimes, but you're also like, if I make a joke in therapy,

he's like, you're pushing away, you're making a joke so you don't have to go deeper. So I think going deeper is sometimes more taxing. Do you think that's why you date community? Comedians? Interesting. I think the comedian I'm dating now, I think, is obviously very funny and very smart. And I think she's someone who is doing, who's done a lot of work on herself. Like she's in therapy. She pushed me to get back in the therapy.

And when you know it, I needed it. So, I mean, holy shit. Session one, I was like shaking. I'm like, shit. So, yeah. I mean, I think what I like about her is that she's, it's not that she's a comedian, it's that she's hardworking and driven. Look at you being all cute right now.

Yeah, no, I, there's a lot to like about her. So I think that's definitely, I don't think it's like I want to, no, I don't think I wanted, I didn't want to date a comedian. So I think it's like I like her in spite of her being a comedian, if that makes sense. I love that. Because same, I told myself, I'm like, don't, let's not. mess around with comedians and now I'm engaged to a comedian but it's like it might be the initial thing that you kind of connect over similarities but then yeah I'm actually with a comedian who

because he's older like I don't know if when he was 35 we would have been able to make it work and I love that she pushed you to go to therapy yeah I think man I've definitely I remember I was dating a girl in college and she was like not a comedian at all but she she she would say I had met my biological father yet and she was like whenever we because she was a psych major and both her parents were psychiatrists whenever we'd fight she'd go who are you really yelling at and i'd be like that's so unfair that's so fucking unfair wait i love that i might use that if i need to you really young yeah no i i like that she pushed me like she did it in a healthy way which like i think this will be important for you and uh it is i think therapy i don't like think everyone needs it

but I think it can certainly help. If you think you need it, then for me, it's very helpful. Well, yeah, if it helps you, like, love yourself more. It's only going to help you be better with how you relate to other people if you're relating to yourself. I think it helps me love myself.

I think it makes me understand myself. No. I think loving yourself is unhealthy. I think, like, I think liking yourself is good, but loving yourself is almost like too much. It's almost like, like, I love, you know who loves himself is like dudes with like a fucking ponytail

who walk up? who walk around shirtless like that's that dude loves himself you know that's beautiful because i was thinking about happiness and like happiness is actually not being really happy all the time it's just like being content like happiness is like being really happy is when like you get something but that's not an actual like sustainable emotion it's more like the day to day when you're sitting on the subway not having panic attacks and just like being content acceptance yeah i definitely i have a hard time letting good feelings in like if someone like my girlfriend will tell me she's like comics look up to you and I don't

feel that at all so it's it's weird I don't uh she'll say things like that I don't I don't see so or I'm incapable of feeling I if something's really good there's something also about this business is beating the hell out of you where when I get something from the industry I'm I'm never like yay I'm always like yeah where the fuck have you been the last 15 years so I'm never like like it's like tennis when you hit a winner like serena hits a winner and she gets mad she's like yeah i should have every fucking point i don't look at like i should have every point but i look at it like you know i've been working i've been working hard so it is hard i think that a lot of comics feel that way i think you just have to work so hard for such a little reward and like yeah

the the bigger reward is you get to tell jokes and make money doing that so that's pretty damn cool so in some ways i've you know i am living the life i wanted to live but you also i yeah i have a hard time when something good happens i have a hard time feeling it for sure so do you like um get a high off of troll's comments then you're like yeah i'm fucking not funny no i'm not a masochist i don't think i don't think i don't i really i'm really happy i used to read way more comments i don't really do that as much as i used to i try to stay away from that i don't that's healthy i don't but i do do this i do tend to If I'm on stage and I see one person with their arms crossed in the front row, I'm like, I'm, I could be killing with 99.9% of the room and I'm focused on this one dude who just looks miserable.

Like, there was a girl in Atlantic City in the front row and with her boyfriend and he was having an all right time, but she looked so unhappy. And I was just like, did you have to sit in the front row? Like, I can see how miserable you are. Did he drag you? Like, why are you here? And she was just like, yeah, he's, he need help blink twice. but she just says he dragged me he's the fan i was like i know but you didn't have like you're not like you could fake it a little bit for his enjoy if he's a fan like this isn't i can't imagine

it's fun for him to be with someone who's this miserable like if i'm in like a clothing store with my girlfriend i'm not happy but i can fake it for you know 30 minutes and be like oh this is a cool scarf it's like sex sometimes you don't want to do it but you know he's into it and you could act like his dick is great. That doesn't work the other way. I don't think we shift that and that works or I'm getting canceled. So that may work for the ladies, but that doesn't work for me. If she's not into that, then you better fucking run for the hills. So what is your biggest physical insecurity? Physical. Well, I have horrible back and neck pain. So I think, you know, getting out of shape for me is is really hard like people tell me I look exactly the same but I feel

out of shape and I feel feeling physically weak when you travel all the time is is a big one for me because I've never play sports as a kid yeah I play basketball and a little baseball yeah I love I mean I love I still play I can't dunk no I'm six three and I can't dunk I'm an embarrassment to tall people I mean up until a couple months ago I mean my neck's just been killing me but I would play constantly outdoors so hopefully i'm back to that soon they who is it it was it was andrew santino who told me he thinks a lot of comics are either athletes or addicts or both do you believe that huh well it depends what type of addicts yeah i mean we're all i mean comics who are athletes are always weird to me because it's like i guess you have to be very

disciplined to be an athlete right and a good comic you have to be disciplined like you have to kind of wake up and write the way an athlete would wake up and work out. So I guess there's a parallel there. As for addicts, yeah, a lot of comics I know are sober for sure. Yeah, yeah. I do think that with athletics though, like you work hard and then you like play and you either win or lose where comedy is so much more like smoke a mirror sometimes. Like you can work your ass off and the industry will never like give you that break or you can work your ass off and you think you do well, but it's one other person. You don't have like a W or an L after something. the problem is waiting for the industry to give you a break too because it's like fuck them you know they

they think they're these tastemakers or people that you know pick but with the internet as we said like look look you have your own podcast that does well you make your own shit right i mean that's i think the way to go and to not wait around and it'll feel satisfying when they finally do come around to say uh don't need you i did it myself so uh i mean obviously everyone gets helped no one's done it alone Like a lot of comp, but people help me. You're like Netflix. If you're listening, it's all good. For real, though.

I feel comics have helped me out more than anyone. Oh, yeah. You know, like Amy Schumer produced my second special. You know, Gary Goldman got me in at the comedy seller. You know, Dave Attell helped me so much. You know, comics will be the ones to really help you, I think. Also, not to tweet your own horn, but you were in The Joker, which is pretty fucking cool. I actually saw it with Nikki Glazer, and we started, like, bugging out.

She texted me right after, yeah. And it was so cool. How did you pick the bit that you were going to do? Well, you know, I did like 15 or 20 different bits. So Todd Phillips picked that bit, which I was like, glad that's the bit he picked because that bit was pretty consistent. But yeah, I was in The Joker and I got to do a bunch of material. It was so weird.

I was in the trailer before Gary Goldman is in the movie too. And Gary walks up to me, you know, in his hilarious 80s get up and goes, this guy in the crowd kept laughing at the wrong time my jokes and I nearly snapped on him and then I realized it was Joaquin Phoenix I was getting fucked with by walking Phoenix and they didn't tell me because they wanted a genuine reaction so I thought that was amazing and then

so I kind of went in with my guard up a little like it's Joaquin gonna fuck with me too and then I went up and Todd Phillips was like hey so he's gonna follow him you're on TV on the monitor and then he you go off stage and Chris Redd will bring you on stage Chris Red from SNL and Chris was the MC

Chris looked like Prior I'm like Chris should He had the mustache I'm like he should play Richard Pryor in a biopic And he brings me up And I did it I would do a different bit every take

Because I did like 1520 takes And I was kind of like I don't want these extras to fake laugh But it got to a point where I was like killing They were really a good day I think they expected me to suck So they were like wow he actually has jokes And then Todd would

Todd was so cool He's such a nice person, and he's so encouraging. Like, he would really just, like, in between takes me. Like, I love one joke he didn't like, and he let me know. I have this joke about, I think it's pretty funny, but it was probably not right for the set because it was also like an act out, but I had a joke about how I dated a girl, and she'd always say, you made me come, and I'd be like, you know, I'd be like, we'd be having sex, and she'd be like, I'm about to come, and I'd be like, cool.

And then she'd say, stay completely still, and I'd be like, all right. And she'd be like, you just made me come. And I'd be like, are you sure? It feels like I played dead with an erection. I feels like I did make you come. So I did a whole thing like, that's like if I went to the barbershop and I did like an act out and like I said hold the buzzer right here. And I just rub my head around the buzzer. And I was like, that was all you, dude.

You made me. That was great. But it did fun, but he was like this, that's a little much. And I was like, sorry, sorry, Todd. And he was right. And then I did a bunch of other bits. And they went with the, the, the, the, the dayden. is kind of like, women look at sex like buying a car.

Oh, no, men look at sex like buying a car. We're like, oh, no, whip, fuck. I can't even do my own bit, but women look at sex like buying a car. They're like, can I see myself in this long term? Is it safe? Is it reliable? Could it kill me? Men look at sex like park in a car.

We're like, there's a spot. There's another spot. Oh, I have to pay. Never mind. Handicapped. Hope no one sees this. So they use that joke. And it was cool.

After the take, Joaquin Phoenix is just like hanging he's just kind of hanging out I was about to ask you did you have any interaction yeah he was so nice he was just like man I really like your comedy you're like you have a lot of jokes and they're just funny they're not just like he said uh he said you know a lot of comics just come off as desperate and they don't have jokes and you have jokes and I really like them and uh I was like oh that was real what a nice moment and uh and then yeah then Todd Phillips was like the way you he's like it's like it was embarrassing because it was like in front of the

crowd but Todd Phillips is like the way you act and do acting stuff all day he just sits and writes jokes that's what he does and walking finish was like huh and I was like this is fucking humiliating this is the star of the movie and uh but they were they were really really cool both of them and uh I think Todd said to me like this was a day we all needed because the shoot has been so dark and and you were just being so silly uh with the jokes and stuff and like we needed to laugh it was like a bit i think part of the laugh with the crew in between takes was like just release because that's such a dark movie holy shit yeah and that scene was fun and refreshing when you got on but also i feel like comics you're naturally acting on stage anyway so like do you feel like

would you like to act in a movie one day you know stand up is really what it's all about for me like i'm all about stand up and i love it and like i i want to keep doing it this much while I love it and the road's gotten better and now people are coming out to shows and but if it was yeah if it was the right thing it I don't want it's my agent would be like here's an audition for a guy who guy at coffee shop and uh the new girl or something and I'm just like I'm good I don't like I'm not going to get it it's going to take me all day yeah it's like here's 11 pages you have one line but it's on page six you have to have someone read all 11 pages with you so it's humiliating I I'm kind of over it

luckily with Joker was more like he just was like I like you and Gary so that worked and I did a bit part in Billions once but that was also because I knew Brian's compliments usually if I get some or if I've been on Amy Schumer's show it's like people are like I know you you can be in this it's not like you got this on merit

so yeah the only thing I would like to do is if they ever remake the long goodbye the Elliot Gould movie I want that role That's the only one I'm dying for. Grumbly. Grumbly P.I.

Great movie. I can see that for you. Yeah, I love that movie. I love Elliot Gould. So when people who are your fans who are listening, how would you describe yourself as different offstage versus on stage? I think I'm probably nicer off stage. Oh.

Because you can kind of sugarcoat stuff. And I do, I think on stage, you have to be blunt. You have to be real. You have, like, everything has to be dead on. And sometimes the truth isn't very nice. But with offstage, you can be a little more gentle. Because on stage, it's all about getting the quickest laugh and being real to that moment. And off stage, you can be a human.

So I think. Yes, and you could have empathy and shit. Absolutely. There's nothing funny if, like, someone says, I got fired. I have to make a joke about them getting fired. How do you get, you know, but if they get fired in real life, we go, oh, I'm sorry to hear that. You know, there's a difference. Yeah, exactly.

Like, crowd work, I'm a completely different person than in real. Absolutely, because you get into the joke. And they want to get ball busts a little bit. Yeah, you give them a little smirk after. Let me know you're not trying to ruin their life. I think they know. I mean, the place is called side splitters. They're not like, you know, who's leaving the, you know.

Ball busters. Who's leaving Magoobie's joke house. Like, he was mean. Magoopees does sound like a fun like after school program for kids That's a real club Yeah, I'm actually playing it for the first time in like October so It's a good club Wish me luck

Oh no, it's good We're gonna wrap this up with a final game called The Seven Deadly Sins You're a little too comfortable in hell Which I don't know what that says about you Seven Deadly Sins What are you greedy about greedy you know what I'm probably greedy about

is I can be a bad listener and that can be a little greedy I think I can be I'm very much in my head maybe more selfish than greedy but I think they're under the same umbrella but that is very self-aware I mean therapy he doesn't fix the problems

he just makes me go like oh yeah no I know I'm shitty I say the therapist I know I'm bad and she's like well as long as you know but no I always say it's like I'm I speak for a living I'm gonna be a lot of people are bad at the opposite of their job It's the opposite of what I do. I'm a bad listener and I'm working on it. What?

I'm just kidding. Who are you envious of? Probably pro athletes. It looks so fun to be in the NBA. I think that the camaraderie and, you know, I'm probably envious of, I would love to be in New York Nick. So that's envious of like anyone who gets to,

like maybe Julius Randall because he's crushing. He had a bad postseason. But like, man, what a cool life that is. it's funny because I was talking to Des beforehand like if he had any inside scoop on you of like questions I should ask and he was like ask him if he wished you was a pro athlete wow he nailed it no I think I think that's dead on

being a Knicks fan what kind of person do you have to be because like yeah my dad's a Knicks fan and he's never wavered my family's from Brooklyn and my grandpa was actually a basketball coach in Brooklyn growing up so like we always use basketball as like metaphors for life but sometimes it's tough yeah like because then you get like you remember when poor zingas came we got like excited for a second and then yeah no i remember i was at a game and he gave me a fist bump and i was so happy i remember

being like oh my god for zingas i was i was the only dude wearing a porzinger shirt court side because uh most of them dress well and uh he just came over to me it was like fist bump and i was like i mean courtside at nix i feel like that's kind of what i want for my career too one day to be I was with my age and I didn't get those seats myself but but you know uh yeah no I I love I I would love to be a Nick that's like I think that's who I'm jealous of what do you gluttonous about like what do you overindulge in coffee for sure I mean this is like cup four today I've been up pretty early but that gluttony should be for food or is anything I'm like actually such a little bitch with coffee like if i don't drink and eat before i have coffee i'm like i like spas out i guess i just

the schedule i like making my own at home i had hotel coffee and like oh if you want Starbucks to taste amazing drink a cup of holiday and coffee and Starbucks is going to taste like oh my god where did you make where do you get these beans uh wait so you're like a barista at home I make oh yeah I make my own coffee I uh I do the grind and brew so it's like fresh I I love it. I'll drink truck stop coffee too, but I like making my own coffee. How late will you drink coffee in the day? I'll drink it late, but no one drinks.

I remember I would leave diners with Dave Attell at like 4 a.m. And he would get a large ice coffee black to go. And I was like, it's insane to me. I'd be like, that ain't, that ain't good. He's like, it's putting me to sleep. But, you know, I'll drink it pretty late. I'll maybe like seven or eight. I won't go, I'm not like crazy with it.

But, I mean, I work nice. Do you sleep okay at night? No, I'm not a great sleeper. But I always think each cup is going to turn it around, though. You know, I always like, every cup I'm like, this is the one that will make me. And I'm like, it's not a fucking antidepressant. It's a, it's caffeine. But I always assume it's going to be like this will boost.

It does boost my mood a little bit, but I do sound like a crackhead sometimes. My energy is so much higher during the day because of coffee. And then at night I kind of slump. Oh, yeah. But you can't stop it. I can't stop. No, I'm like, I drink too much coffee. conversation. I'm like I'm like a podcast on time's point five and I can't stop myself even though

I know I'm annoying everyone around me. When was the last time you experience extreme wrath? Like you come off like a pretty chill dude. Do you have an angry side? Jeez, really angry. It must be customer service related. I'm trying to nail it, but I'm guessing it was probably I was pretty pissed off at Delta because there was like a four hour call time with no callback option. And I fucking let it go. I hate being that dude. You see those people on social media that are like, uh,

Delta, you really drop it. You've lost a customer and I'm sure Delta's like, whoa, how will we bounce back? Wait, you went on Twitter? Uh,

I did at Delta so people won't see it as much, but yeah, I was pissed up. I mean, it's like, I fly them every week. I'm like, guys,

hello. So, yeah, that was annoying. When was the last time you were a sloth? So, like, just lazy didn't do anything all day. Probably today after this. I'm probably going to sloth it up.

I haven't had a lot of those days lately. It's just because I'm on the road every week. And then when I'm home, it's just shit piles up. Like, if I'm there three days, I'm like, if one thing falls out of place, the whole day falls at a place. And like, if one thing goes long in New York, I had like, I did a podcast with my friend Mark Norman. I was like, all right, got to run to the stand to do Ari Shafir show. But then I'm like, shit, I got dinner with Dan St. Germain, my other friend, then I'm running. I'm like, shit, Dan, I got a cellar spot.

So I'm like running all around. And if one thing, so I don't feel that I get to sloth it up, but I'll, I'll get better at that. You've also a clearly very hard worker. What were you like as a high school student? Pretty bad. I got good at the end because I think my parents were like, you're not going to get into a good college if you keep fucking around. And I couldn't. I was like the class clown.

And then, you know, at a certain point. it's not it stops being funny it's like it's like the old dude at the bar where you're like all right dude you're a little it's not cool anymore you know so uh i i hit like 11th grade or so they were like i started kind of including the teacher and the joke and i'd like do the reading and i'd like make jokes about that and the teacher was like all right i like this guy now so i started to do so i think like my grades your bits improved my bits improved and my grades went up because they had to like it was like a lot it was like it was like you have to do better better yeah yeah when was the last time this is a tougher one when was the last time you let your

pride get in the way of something or like your ego whether it's in your relationships or with your career i think all the time i think it happens all the time i mean like i can't even think a one time because it happens so much i mean absolutely i mean like we're in entertainment we have fragile egos i absolutely i mean i think like a part of it's almost like the opposite where you where you're just like feel comfortable where you're you know like I think I've identified and a lot of comics who appears in mine feel this way you think you identify as the underdog for so long because things aren't going well that when they do go well you don't feel it and you're just like oh I'm still and then people are like you're not an underdog anymore things are going okay and so

uh I think pride can even like get in the way of that where you're just you feel like yeah it's it's a huge ego is a huge problem for me you're like i want to be the black sheep yeah treating me oh i am the black sheep i am in my family without my brother and sister or lawyers i'm absolutely the black sheep do you think you have daddy issues yeah sure i think i've mommy issues too i think i i got everything issues okay one one final thing with the dating what is it like dating with social anxiety you have a drink and you're usually a little better i think i alcohol helps that but actually just had a weird memory I think we matched once on the dating app yeah we really I think we matched I'm like hint but like I'm I'm talking like four years ago

or something okay wow we didn't we didn't meet up we didn't hook up but I think it was I think I said I remember social anxiety I would not meet up with a lot of people on those things when I did them I would I would just like do the match you have like fun banter yeah and I'm like that person I'm that guy that girls hate like not interested in just messaging i'm like i'm not i was that dude i would just not but you had to meet up with them for anything to happen yeah yeah no i mean occasionally it happened but i was i was bad at it i also it's like hard i don't want to take a night off stand up i know i'm like not a it was always like a night off was always like that would give me anxiety not working yeah yeah and then you were not about to be like yeah come watch my set

tonight i think i i think i did do that a couple times did it work uh sometimes yeah because some comics are really against like family or girlfriends watching all the time i think if you want a healthy relationship you should be against that for a while and they should get to know you and not to stage you and it took me a while to figure that out true true i do think for anyone who's interested in dating comics don't watch their all their youtube's four hours of them before you meet them because you'll have preconceived notions that won't help you connect. Yeah. Or listen to every podcast they've been on either.

Oh, God. When was the last time you lusted over someone? I know you're with someone right now. Do you have a celebrity crush? He thinks this is a trap right now. It is a trap, but I'll fall into it. Well, I mean, obviously my girlfriend, but I will say if we're going outside of her, Mariska Hargatee, early seasons of SVU.

Oh, I love that for you. New York cop, hard-nosed, badass. Yeah, Moirsch-Hargate SVU. I'm very into her. Yeah, I think everyone's attracted to her. Sam, you've done amazing. To wrap this up, one final question. What advice would you give to people on how to cope with your hell?

Like when it's dark and you're in it, how do you get through it? Well, you know, I think remembering that it's hopefully temporary the hell you're in and that it'll most likely pass. and you know reach out to friends don't be a stranger this is getting serious and uh just be uh you know if you need it there are places to call even if you can't think of a friend there's you know hotlines for that so uh i think just try to weather the storm and hopefully hopefully it gets better hell yeah it's true nothing stays the same sam where can people watch your youtube obviously on youtube but give me the info and then where can people follow you listen to you give me all the goods

watch you on tour i have two specials on youtube i got this and uh up on the roof and they're both a lot of fun i think you'll like them and i got a a drinking podcast with mark norman called we might be drunk a basketball podcast with stavros halkey is called pod don't lie oh i didn't know about that yeah it's a lot of fun and uh and uh yeah i'm on social i'm on all the social media so just sam merr m o r r i l amazing well you guys just have a great new comic to add to your repertoire of entertainment and thanks for coming to hell today and I'll talk to you later. Bye.