Berner Phone - Sean Donnelly: Recovering People Pleaser & Intermittent Faster

Episode Date: May 20, 2022

Comedian Sean Donnelly is Hannah's hilarious neighbor. He has been on The Late Show with David Letterman, Conan, NBC’s Last Comic Standing and just launched a new podcast called Brand New Jerks. He has recovered from a divorce, lost a lot of weight, and is currently working on not being a people pleaser. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Burning and hell What's up, guys? I am with an Irish man. It's actually not Desmond. I found another Irish man in New York crazy, wild. He's a hysterical comedian. I'm with Sean Donnelly, who you've, I'm like looking at all the stuff you've done.

You've been everywhere. Adam, is it Devin or Devine? I think it's divine. Adam Devine's house party. He's done the half hour, Broad City, inside Amy Schumer, Comedy Central, Amazon. The credits are nonstop. Welcome to the Lower East Side.

Thank you so much for having me. It's so glorious to be here. We're actually neighbors. We are. I am a quasi neighbor. My girlfriend lives literally 10 floors below you. I'm very excited to have you on because I feel like what I've heard of you on the comedy scene

is that you've had like a real glow-up. I, what does it glow up? I'm also, we shouldn't, we should tell people. You almost just agreed with it regardless. You're like, yep. And I'm like, so you have HPV. Oh, a flare up. A flare up.

You're like, yeah, it has been itching me lately. A fiery flare. up is a glow up that's what um i i think i know what a glow up here you should also tell people i'm i'm 40 i am 43 so which is a young bushy-eyed kid compared to does absolutely i i do i think i know what a glow-up is it means that you i thought it was like a makeover is it a makeover a glow-up is it could be like physical or mental but overall you're like oh wow they've upgraded like they've upgraded their life. I know that you've heard that about me.

Yeah. People are just like, Sean's looking really good right now. I think he's in like a good relationship. I think he's in a good place. Oh my God. Is that just your Instagram or is it real? I've hired multiple people to make that happen.

You're in a crisis management PR? I just rented a kid. No, that's true. I think, uh, okay, so I, I did, I lost weight. I lost, I was, I was, I was, people knew me as like, a fat comic i think and i am i'm not i'm not as fat now like a big guy everybody's like you know i'm the type of comic that people would send you like be like like fat dude pictures that kind of resemble you and go this is you like it's like that kind of yeah yeah that's you like that guy with a beard

yeah or i get or the irish thing where i would get there's a i've been sent this a million times of this there's a baby who looks like it has a receding hairline and looks like it should have a beard it looks very irish and it's the same thing it looks like an old-timey bartender baby And I've been sent this thing 30 times in the past, like, however many years. So I think I was known as like the certain type of thing. And then I did lose weight, which is good because I didn't want to die. And then I'm probably, I am in a good relationship and a really good relationship. And then I've also been dressing better, I guess.

I was about to say this outfit? Yeah, is it good? Who did it? I did it. Okay, can you talk to Des? Because this is like style. You guys, I have to explain. He's wearing these like sick Nike's with like cute socks.

these like jogger type what color is this it's like green a khaki green a green thing and then an adorable sweater with a duck on it yes you look kind of hipster I do look you look like you look like you own a coffee shop maybe I think you know what it is I never the way I looked people if I wore hipster clothes ever they were just like oh you are like when hipsters look like dock workers yeah I had the I had the look I was like no you just are a tugbo captain you know whatever it is So, um, so I think, yeah, I think my, my goal has always been to be fashionable, but I never, it's a weird, you can't get wacky when you're a bigger guy. So once I lost some weight, I could, I was buying. Because you can fit in more of the clothes that are like, I can fit.

Yeah, I can look. Yes, exactly. I just, I was at my biggest. I was, all right. So I was 270 was my biggest. So I was at my biggest and I went. This is how I decided. And I have done this on stage, so forgive me.

But this really did happen. I went to my doctor because I was like I went to my doctor because I was like oh I think I have diabetes I was like I'm pretty sure I have diabetes And he checked his chart and he hadn't taken a blood test In like two or three years And he was like how if we're not he freaked out in his office He's like how we're not taking blood on you in two years

And I'm like I don't know He's like is it possible I gave you the paperwork and you didn't go And I'm like it's possible So I kind of got worried I was like oh shit I probably do have it And so he took a blood test right there in his office Like an emergency blood test

and then two days later he calls me up and he goes I don't know how this is possible but you're fine he's like okay he's like against all odds against all any kind of rationality in the universe so he's like I studied for 50 years and I've never seen something like this he's like I'm gonna report this to my medical school we're gonna study it

so that was like first wake-up call and then I'm always been better dieting and I knew I had to do something because I was getting big so I found out about the intermittent fasting thing and it was like it is still a fad and it's it's trendy but it really worked for me like somebody of comics wife told me

that her husband lost like 60 pounds on it and I was already kind of starting it and it made me jump into it like what were your hours 12 to 8 I still kind of do it I haven't lost I'm not down to what I want I still have a little bit left of what I want to and I have to go work out and stuff but yeah I feel like in a comics lifestyle that

is easier because if you're out late, you sleep late. The easiest way to interim fast for me is to let yourself sleep late if you don't have a 9 to 5. That's exactly. So I wake up at 11.30. Then it's easy to start at 12 and then just stop at 8. That's 100%. And like there was, and you have the growing pains aspect to it where like, you know,

I was, it was at the first month or whatever it was. And then you really do, I did plateau on it. But what it really did was it made me, it made me like I'm like, like, like, the Unhealthiness was like, don't get me wrong, I wasn't eat like three pizzas and night right. I'm not overeating. It was more like the quality of the food that I was eating. So like because of the intermittent fasting, what it made me do would go, hey, I want to,

I want to have a grilled cheese, but I'm not going to because I needed to tie me over for the next night. I needed to fill me up. So I kind of made me think differently about food. I was like bad with food. I was raised bad with food. Soda addict. Like soda was a big problem.

Beer was, I stopped beer. I stopped soda. I do 90% less bread and less sugar. Wow. So that. And don't be wrong, I still eat not the greatest. Do you drink Diet Coke? I don't.

I do, I'll do a sip of soda maybe once a day. And then I do, I do, Tobochigo help me. And then also, there's this, the other thing that really helped was, I was never a coffee drinker because I drank so much soda. So I started drinking black coffee at the middle of the day to kind of like subside the appetite. But like, what I would, I think I'm convinced the oral fixation of going like that with coffee like picking up to your lips made me think i was snacking like you know what i'm saying like

the motion of it and it was like enough of a satisfaction not to go get a candy or not to go get chips or something like that yeah so that helped and then once i had the results from it that happened over the course of time like it took it was all the course like a year that i lost it but like once i had that i'm like i want to i want to feel this way yeah well congratulations thank you it's all because that's where my glow up came from i'm obsessed with we're obsessed with Sean's glow up like i'm literally obsessed with you and I also this outfit I'm like obsessed with and I need you to take Des shopping with you not that does has a bad style but like I feel like I like you I like you very much what's how would you describe it what's your aesthetic I don't know I guess what are the vibes

you know what it is and this is going to sound so corny to be saying this I used to skateboard in high school and I used to be a skateboarder in high school I don't think I ever got rid of like that style. Yeah. So I think anything that I go buy clothes-wise is within, but I have to keep it within the realm of me getting older and like what I look like. So this is a version of that. Can you just explain skateboarding me for a second?

Sure. I went to school on the Upper West Side. I go to Columbus Circle and they're the fountain and everyone went to skateboard. And I've watched that for hours and hours and I never saw one person land one thing. What the fuck are they doing? They're trying to either, they're trying to either board slide or rail slide the fountain or they're trying to nose slide or or they're doing just like they just fling it up in the air and it like hit someone in the face no that they're probably trying to 360 flip which is my thing and they're

just not doing it well is it is it kind of like comedy where it's like if you're killing all the time you're not getting better so like they're trying to they're trying all the hard moves like you can't just make the moves all the time because i'm just like i've it kind of is skateboarding I'm like I've never seen someone do it well um yeah well you could if you part yourself in a certain spot like if back in the day they used to be the Brooklyn banks or there's probably I don't even know where the spots are now in the city but like this is a skateboarding culture podcast yeah he's telling us the niche okay girls write this down right this down we don't care but no I love the detail but it's so funny that you said that because

I think it is similar to um to comedy because it's a very lone wolf thing it's very it's by yourself but um you yeah you're trying to just go to that next level so yeah when they're trying something and you're like they're completely messing stuff it's like bombing it's like a little version of bombing yeah and then what ends up like skateboarding even had a thing where everybody mastered like you know the tricks got so done over and over again the regular you know how you can be i don't know if you know that you can either the two stances are regular and goofy foot so when i was skateboarding in the 90s they started doing this thing called switchfoot which is when you went the other way and then you just do all the same tricks that way

because it was that much more impressive so it's like why why i do the old tricks it's like you're not going to do the classics all the time No, they still do them. But like if, okay, so a switch version of that trick to somebody in skateboarding would be that much more impressive. So they're probably trying something switch when you're seeing the board just go up because they're so bad at it. Girls, we just learned a lot.

So the world will never be the same from this information we just got. I just have all the worst topics for your audience. No, I'm just, no, you're killing. You're literally killing it. I also, one last thing about your weight. Yeah, because it is fascinating. when you were younger were you overweight no I wasn't I was skinny I started gaining weight when I was like 19 like after I went to after high school into college so I drank it a little bit it got more and more

and then also I would just eat whatever because I didn't have that like healthy mindset from growing up because I guess I didn't need it but we also I mean the way teenage boys can eat yes absolutely like if you saw like if you saw a picture remember at 16 you would be like who who is that yeah and then I It got bigger and bigger, and I just, and then, yeah, I went until this is like, past couple years is when I lost the weight. Are you loving yourself more now? I do. I think it's made me more confident, definitely more.

I've been trying to be more assertive and more direct and more honest. So I think definitely losing the weight has done that. Well, this is a great segue because you have a new podcast coming out called Brand New Jerks. Yeah, it's already out. We've done like 10 episodes. Oh, it's out. Yeah, it's out. Yeah.

So you can listen to it now. and I asked you what it was about and you said we're covering people pleasers yes so as you talking about you kind of changing people please that's part of a glow up is you know being assertive having boundaries are you a people pleaser I am traditionally I am

so where I come from me and my buddy Ray Zawani super funny comic from Pittsburgh we host the show and we both realized we're both the same where we were yeah from our childhood like we are people pleasers and what we want is to be more assertive so that's where

brand new jerks comes out of because we're trying to learn how to be quote unquote jerks which you know for lack of a bit of phrase something just sounds funny but like yeah so like do we have like a thing on the podcast called jerk store moment which is from Seinfeld where George wants to go back and tell the guy from his job exactly what like he has a line and he doesn't realize until after the fact we have jerk store moment which means you said what you wanted to say in the moment or you asked for a thing you wouldn't have asked for or you did and like we kind of like keep each other in and check with that stuff that i love that it's like a project and you have like goals yeah or yeah and like it's you're kind of bragging and be like oh i did this assertive thing to make me get to that

point of of the point of confidence i want to be at i'm the same way i am a huge people pleaser i say yes to everything and it's interesting because yeah you immediately will think that people are going to hate you 100% like i'm like and now that person is going to tell all their friends that i'm just the worst i had to send an email to quit a job once that i had for like barely any time and I was physically shaking and I was physically and I don't usually do that and I was like oh my God like just just the fact of disappointing the people on the other end of the email action therapy I've been working on something because I'm like that especially you get to a point where a lot of people start asking you for things right at first you're like yeah yeah yeah I get especially when

like people think like you can give them something and then you just want to make everyone happy and then my my therapist calls it self-abandoning oh that's interesting when when I am changing how I feel to make other people feel better, you're self-abandoning yourself. And when you abandon yourself, that's going to give you anxiety, because anxiety is when you're not in line with who you are. It's changing who you are. Yeah. That's right.

I like that. Because there's a thin line between, then you could like be guilty that you fuck someone over, or you could self-abandon and do everything you want for them. So it's finding that in between of not being a dick, but also not losing your morals. 100%. Or even little things. Because also, at the end of the day, let's be honest, you could do. Anything for anyone.

Where does the line of your own priorities, you know? Well, it's funny, and it does come into the comedy world. I think that's what you're talking about because, you know, you have to be tons of people in the comedy business that are probably asking you for favors, and they don't think it's that big of a deal. And your first instinct is, like, you don't want to disappoint them. Yeah. Right?

But, but, but, yeah, you could turn around and do all of them, but like, first off, should you, like, should you really, like you do, like you said, that's a really good phrase because it's like, yeah, but then. I'll have no time left for me. And also, like, and to bring it to comedy terms, I've had people ask me for stuff in comedy that, and even at the level that I'm at where it's like, like, they'll ask me for favors in comedy that I'm like,

well, this is what I did to get that. Like, it's usually like, can you get me this thing in comedy or this past at this thing? And I'm like, well, I, I worked, I killed on these four shows and got recommended to this and got the guy had me do this and then audition for this. Like, it's like, so just do that. Like, you can do that if you put the time into it and then, and you do well.

So I get, I don't, you don't want to be angry about it, but you're like a little bit like, no, do it. It's proper. Like, you don't get me wrong. I'll do favors for people and I'll try to help out. But I, I think it's good to have boundaries of those things. And I think the bigger you become, like, you're huge. You got your pocket. You got all your stuff.

So it's like, oh, the numbers just must go through the roof with the amount of times you're being asked. I just know the first time I was on a, I did TV. The amount of people that just were asking me for coffee got weird. where like people all know are just like oh can get coffee like to and then i realized like oh it's not because they actually necessarily like me but like they want to be like oh i just got coffee with hannah and then next thing you know you're getting coffee with everyone and you have no time for yourself and you're dying but then also this industry you're hot one second and then what you have like a bad episode or a bad set or some whatever happens to you and then suddenly those people are not

bothering you right and then you realize how like it was it's also fickle it's fleeting and fleeting Yes. That you're like, I just have to do what's right for me. The weird, absolutely. And I think the weird part about comedy is that there is no office. So it's very hard, especially coming out, because you started comedy here. It's very hard to differentiate the friend, friends and the comedy friends. It doesn't mean the comedy friends aren't real friends, but you will see.

I had a, I can't get into it, but I had a moment of realization recently where I had a guy who was in comedy that I thought was like a friend friend friend, comedy friend and a friend friend that I did ask for something from and I did not get it and I really hurt me on a friend level yeah but what it made but what it did was make me set that boundary to go oh no I have to not it's it sounds really like kind of like bitter to say like I was won't expect anything but I don't mean it that way I just mean like oh like setting the comedy office and not expecting as much as you do but also like not losing like not hope or like you know any kind of like you know what I mean like and also sometimes like him not doing that for you doesn't mean he doesn't like reflect how much he likes you as a person it's like his own comedy

brain where he can be weird 100% you know what I mean that's exactly what it was literally two different things exactly but you take that shit personally because you're talking about you as a human and I and I 100% that's exactly what it is and I think that but that's why I say like you said your time is valuable I think that's I think I have a hard time realizing that as well because I will try to help people out or get on the phone and then you're like oh no you're setting those boundaries I think makes you seem more I think

I think like you said with the self abandonment where it's like you're not going to have those little tiny explosions of anxiety in your head because you're like oh I I wasn't rude about it I just I said what I wanted to say and you can kind of take this as you take it but it's also finding out how you say what you want to say like I'm a little brutally like

I can only be honest I don't know how to lie so when people are like can you do this I like I can't I'm always like do I have to come up with like my dog is sick or like and then I don't know how to do that and then I'm like so I just say no yeah I can't just say that is so like brutal to just be like I don't want to tonight yeah I mean I think recently I think with mental health being more of a thing saying stuff like you know my battery's out kind of thing yes I think that works I also think that if you're telling like I think but I happens in my brain. This is where the people pleaser thing comes in. You think their response is going to be so much bigger than it actually will be. True. True. You saying, hey, listen, I'm so fried. I just had to go crash. You know, I don't even say, do you say sorry? I don't even say sorry anymore. Well, I'm a girl. That's another big thing. I also put exclamation marks and emojis with it. I have to do a whole thing. Oh, how it must be to be a man. You're like, I've never said sorry in my

life actually. No, no, I am not like that. I was like, I was the sorry guy. I was the got to pull an exclamation point next to a text thing. And I'm trying to get better at that. Well, that's what they tell like women in the workplace to these little things. Stop saying sorry. Stop saying. There's certain terms that just like kind of demean. And I realize someone said like when you're kind of late to not say sorry to just be like, um, there's different words of how you can say it. But also I am sorry if I'm late. I think you actually are sorry you say sorry but but you are right we're like canceling plans the amount of times I cancel and someone's like thank God I didn't want to go either and you're like yeah or somebody uh I think even Todd Barry used have a joke about somebody you you want to cancel and they canceled before and you're like oh my God like the heavens heavens parted someone talked about an app for plans it might be a dating app where like you both put in if you really want to go to the plan and then if you both said no it'll cancel it but if only one of you said no nothing will happen oh really yeah like there's some you don't know there's some dating app so you can put in that

you don't want to go tonight but unless you both say no it still happens yeah yeah oh that's funny like a scheduling app so you just everything just goes away yeah it's like it's off your calendar it's like eternal sunshine of the spotless mind but for like a in a very small scale exactly there there also something too with the people pleasing where you connect yourself worth with what you can like do for people if that makes sense like growing up with sports i felt i was a tennis player and i felt like the more i won the more people liked me so i was associated success with like being lovable yeah where it's like people pleasing you have to understand that like your self-worth and being lovable is not based on doing everything for everyone all the time right yes which is

a story you're telling yourself you have to shift the narrative in your brain of what makes someone likable um yes i think i think or may it's the thing of i am likable like i think it's you get to a certain age you should be like yeah i think there's enough evidence just i'm likable the way that i am i don't have to overdo it yeah like the like the over apologizing or the or the oh my god i'm so sorry you know but like yeah i think that that makes a lot of sense to me and i also think the right people around you will respond to you're also the energy i feel like people are more attracted to people who aren't constantly like being like please like me please like me please yes I think you're right comes from like a confidence in yourself that you don't it's like when you don't

need friends you get friends or like when you don't want a significant other people are interested 100% and also like I in therapy I try to describe this where I'm like there's people that are more aware of like self-aware and healthier mentally not even called mentally but as far as like assertiveness wise I would love to just like like that aren't thinking about 15 things that happened in the week that did I say the right thing here did I do this that I like overthinking I would love that's the goal that I would want you're just living like the worrying about you what you want in that moment they're gonna be wrong I live and I feed myself and I take showers but I'm saying like the idea where oh all the stuff

from three days ago is not even in my brain as I as I go forward that's so funny because we were just at moon tower at this comedy festival in Austin that's so fun and it's it's a vibe And I feel like you're kind of on the whole time. You're having fun. And by the way, I love your energy. I just want you know. Like, I remember telling you. I love yours too.

Thank you. I said, Sean has the best laugh. Like, when you laugh, like, the whole room is great. And it just, you're very easygoing and good energy. And I feel like at these festivals, you're dealing with a lot of different energies. And I'll, like, one night, I remember, I felt like I was killing. I was like pounded people. I was making laughs.

And then you have one interaction where someone's not matching it. Yes. And you go back to the hotel and you're like, oh, God. And everyone fucking thought I was annoying. I was annoying. Why did I say that? Like one person was like distracted on their phone and like didn't say hi back and I'm like, oh no.

Oh no. And I told another comic that and they're like, that's what I did last night. And that's the hard part about social gatherings that you get anxious before. And then you have the post anxiety of everything you said throughout it. Did you, what was your experience in the Moon Tower socially? Well, I fell drunk and probably, my, my, my, my, fear was that everybody was whispering that I was a drunk that fell like it was so bad oh the Irish guy you know you can get drunk but the many of fall it's like bad but I'm like but I'm also

like I shouldn't but I shouldn't give a shit but I did the next morning I was like I fell and I hurt my leg when I was there and that's so also like it's a weird 40 year old thing to do so like it's like also like you always want to be fun and it's the first way to ruin a party is to be like ow yeah yeah oh yeah right exactly so I was like I was like trying to like like like be cool with the guys and to be cool and limp around and people like what happened like a twist on my knee it's not a big deal and they're like yeah I heard are you okay I'm like shit that's gonna be that's gonna be a thing those things do have things and for people who weren't there the stairs were actually very complicated and I was because

I know that because I was wearing these awkward clogs and I almost fell multiple times okay all right that makes me feel so much better but I didn't fall no one talk is talking about it right they are with yours now. Right, right, right. I laughed because anyone could fall down to stairs, and I laughed because I was mad. I missed it. It must have been hilarious. It was probably kind of funny.

It wasn't like a Pratt fall all the way down the stairs, but it was a couple stairs fall, twist the knee. It's probably funny if you were there. Does anyone help you up? Yes, people came over and helped me up. But I felt like a giant jackass, and you never want to. Yeah, you can be the Irish drunk guy. But you know what it was?

It made me realize, like you, like, you, like, you. you said there's different energies at those things so i think i still have this like we're all buddies let's all hang out and get loaded together thing but you're right you're walking in these rooms that have especially now they mashed up moon tower with jfl which is just for laughs that people don't know which is like a big big brand and in comedy festivals and um i'm thinking hey i'm like hey you got to be gregarious and and like i'm like hey let's let's do something and then there are a lot of weird energies that people who don't want to do that or that's fine someone might have like just had a rough spot and they're sitting so you don't know what's going on

but it's kind of it's hard to turn it off once you're like feeling good about stuff yeah but and also our work is so aligned with our personality like for example if we were accountants who cares if people don't think we're charming it's like I'm an account where ours like if you have a interaction you might be like oh they're like fucking hash she thinks she's you know witty that was fucking stupid yeah yeah yeah yeah and then in your head you're like oh they're never going to book me on their show fuck from just like a water cooler conversation well that's why i always had it like you want you've the always the things i had in my head were like i always want to be you want to do well on i always wanted to do well on stage

never kiss anybody's ass but still be fun that was always my goals and in common yeah i never wanted to be corny never wanted to kiss anybody's ass didn't want that part of me of what these things can be when you're there because 99% of it is that it's people that you are cool cool enough they're cool they hang out whatever it is but you do have instances of you're like oh god this is unbearable as far as like the big they're big timing goes whatever it is but in doing that i took the hey i'm going to be the fun part a little too hard hardcore and that's a problem too and i need to explore that with your comedy and your glow up and you're not people pleasing how has that if this affected your comedy voice because i do have to say like being having that character for so long

of being like the funny fat guy versus like now like it's like oh he's trendy like he's fit do you find your voice is different on stage no because I'm not because you know why are you worried you're going to get too good looking I'm not fit no that will never happen

I will always you're going to be one of those comics like oh it's hard to be good looking and for people to respect my sense of humor not just think I'm a model walking on stage I'll always look like doc worker George Carlin but no I

I didn't you know what it was is that you're the might be the first person to call me trendy and I can't thank you enough I have but like I no I've always tried to I'm like oh what I've been trying to do lately is I'm still I don't know a good chunk of the same person but and so instead of talking about

having fat guy jokes which I was trying to try to phase those out after a while anyway but I now I have the I had a few intermittent fasting jokes or whatever's going on so I'm like I'm still basically the same guy and I'm skinnier and I might have better clothes most of the time

but like I I still feel almost the same when I'm on stage but I do it's actually an interesting question because I think there's part of me that's like I have to rely on the old part of it and I probably shouldn't so lately I've been trying to do it where like let me just say exactly what I'm thinking now about what's going on you know what I'm saying

I think you're actually more interesting now in my like I feel like it's more unique your specific story of how you got to where you are I'm also divorced I threw that in oh yeah that's fucking interesting have you do you feel I love a divorce man I love a divorce man

Well this is new Like now that I've been with Des I'm like learning the life of like men in their 40s And I'm like men in their 40s Have just seen some shit Like like imagine how are you different from you now Versus you in your 20s? Would you date you in your 20s?

No And we are putting these poor women Forcing them to be attracted to these Fucking guys in the 20s And the squirrel brains When I'm telling you they are Because these men who are divorced they have seen some shit they've learned from relationships they know the red flags of things that are bad in relationships i feel like or they feel guilty about something and they need to make it up to the next girl i don't fucking know but um do you feel like your divorce helped you evolve as a human yes 100% i don't regret it i wouldn't change anything i was with my ex-wife for almost uh almost 10 years we were married for six and i wouldn't i wouldn't be like oh i would definitely get married again i have nothing against marriage i actually enjoyed i

enjoyed it, it's just that I, it made me learn a lot about myself 100%. It changed how I approach relationships in the future. And I'm in one now that I'm approaching way differently that I approach my marriage. What do you, um, what advice would you give in terms of a positive relationship thing that has helped you be better in relationships? Actually saying what's on my brain. I was, that's a people pleaser. That's a people pleaser thing. Yeah. I like there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a quote, we do it. We do it. We've said it on the podcast. There's a quote in the, not to quote an Irish movie but in the departing on brand

yeah right exactly in the departed there's a quote I don't know if you've seen it there's a quote when he's talking Matt Damon is talking to via Viramiglia whatever name is and he's they're dating and it's not going well and he says if it's if this is going to end you're going to have to do it

because he says I'm Irish I'll deal with something being wrong forever and that is we'll speak to any Irish dude that you run at any ass dad I swear to God but I'm trying you try to change it that's what I would have I would have just stayed married because it was this thing like I did this choice I made I'm not going to bring up and rock rock any boats yep my thing in relationships up until now was as long as you're okay cool whatever it is

and then I would have all this and it would go south because all this stuff inside of me would be like well I don't like that I don't like this and that's abandoning yourself absolutely I was To the utmost level. When I was younger and I would date, I would get to the point where, yeah, you obviously just want them to like you and for them to be happy. So even something as little as like I'd be like cold because the air conditioning is too much, but I wouldn't be like, hey, could you lure? Like I just didn't want to be any negative.

Right, right, right. Like the littlest thing. Right. But then I would pull this thing where like seven months in, I'd be like, I don't think I want to do this anymore. And they'd be like, what? And I just because all, because I've been coming a mountain. And it was all in my head.

But, like, I mean, it was probably valid things. If I had spoken up, could I had worked on some stuff? Yes. And, but it was like, I would just keep it in, keep it in. And then one day I'd be like, I don't like all this shit. And I'm done. So it's snowballed. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's the way of doing that is a very old. People, I think it's age. I think age, age you do it. And that's why early relationships that happens to them a lot of time. One person just like, yeah, I'm done. And then you're like, what?

But you're in your 20s. Yes. Okay. All right. that was just that'll chip away at my my attitude towards relationships but i'll be i'll get over it uh but as you get older and back in the day i think what used to happen was people like when marriage you know marriage is still a big deal don't get you wrong but i'm like like i i've really respect marriage but i do think that people work on stuff in a way better way now in

marriages than they used to i think it was back in the day i think it was the thing well i think my my parents i would say i think there wasn't a lot of things talked about there yeah and then things would come out the wrong way so i think people just just like stayed in something they probably shouldn't have. Yes. Maybe, you know, stuff like that. Yeah, because I was afraid of like those little disappointments where it's like, no, those are, they can't read your mind.

And it's not just, and also normalizing that relationships aren't two people not disagreeing. It's two people who are actually good at disagreeing or like good at fighting. Right. I've been working on kind of this bit. Because in New York City, I feel like if it's two good looking people who are pretending they're pleasant, like you can be with someone for six months easy. It is so easy to just date another good looking person. and be fake like that is six months your life's done and then like they that you have your first

fight and you're like oh you're a monster so it's like I really push early on like getting into some fights you do early well I just very but you do you purposely get into them no but my thing is I didn't do it on purpose it just when Des met me I was like shooting a reality show and I was in like a nightmare situation so he saw sides of me that like he hasn't even seen since then but like I was like crying and like because the pressure was big drama and missing him in a pressure cooker I was paranoid I was I didn't know who to trust

the producers I was freaking out and he was like that's my baby mama and any other dude I date I swear they'd be like oh you know she's pretty chill yeah and Des like fell in love with like this like all these weird sides of me so then I start now I preach because I have a ring on so I know everything

so now I'm like girls Just take him to the DMV and fucking figure it out. Forget your passport and see how he reacts. But that's also great because now I'm sure there was like all this thing that you were going through back then. You were still yourself to a point. Yes. So he saw you at the point that you didn't recognize yourself. So that's why it works out so well because now he definitely has seen all of me.

Yeah. And yeah, my biggest fear in a relationship is for them to not, for me not to feel like myself in the relationship. Okay. And I think it's because I wouldn't always be myself in a relationship. Oh, that makes sense. And so I feel like never being scared for people to see sides of you, even the like non-people pleasing side, the non-perfect side. Yes.

Just all the, look at us, just figuring out. Just this is a, yeah, this is a Brene Brown love podcast. Okay, we're going to wrap it up with a game. It's called The Seven Deadly Sins and it's about to get pretty dark in here. Okay, let's do it. Seven Deadly Sins What are you greedy about? That's a really good question.

I'm greedy about my... I'm... When you ask a people, please do what they're greedy about. They're like, I don't know whatever they want. Nothing. Zero thing. I'm greedy about my... I was going to say time, but that doesn't make any sense.

Like, I'm greedy. about that's a really hard question um i am i am greedy i am greedy about probably like my maybe like i don't know like what do you want a lot of i want a lot of um and it could be like an emotional thing too i guess i want a a lot of assurance i think relationship wise that makes sense i can say i'm greedy for a sure i think there's moments where i want to be told that and that's where the people please the thing happens as well that same i love language is words of affirmation sometimes Oh yeah is that what it is

Words of affirmation Yeah because I think I want I want That's where I've gotten better Not bringing it up myself You're okay In my 20s I was the Are You mad at me guy And I'm not that guy

But I would like the I guess it would be an attention Maybe attention Obviously attention Do you give words of affirm Yeah I know I'm like So laughter Let's just get to the bottom of it

laughs and yeah Do you give words of affirmation Is your love language Like how you like to give love I probably don't do it as much as I should Because I think that I probably But it's not for the fact that I don't think

I don't want to It's for the fact that I don't want to In a relationship I would think that I was coming off Too hokey or too Or too like Where it doesn't seem genuine I also feel like a lot of comics

Could be like that too With it's like very intimate To like just say like I think you're amazing or something like that which feels so fucking corny and weird for a comic who's always like being I'm very afraid of coming off corny that's like I use that word all the time I just envisioned you saying the sweetest thing to your girlfriend she goes hack hacky

even better if she just booed me booed me she's like Jesus Christ that's what you you had all day to write and that's what you came up with Jesus Christ oh also side note how how's your anxiety how's your depression are you more of a one or the other are you both are you neither i asked my therapist ones i said there's a you know

there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a spectrum and i go i'm curious i almost i wanted to be i almost was went to school for uh therapy but like i i i i wanted to find where i'm like where would you because i was gone i've been going for seven years and i was like uh we love where would i where would i lie on that spectrum and and i and i go term terminology wise or whatever or amount you know and like quantified and she goes uh you'd be like a mild oppressive. That's what she said. And I believed her.

And I think that makes sense. So that's where I lie. Yeah, I have anxiety-wise comes out. That comes out of career stuff as far as like trying to chase after a certain thing or have like, especially now that I'm getting older, the finance finances is like anxiety. That's where anxiety comes from. And then the depression, that also might be a result of where the depression comes from.

Yeah, it can be intertwined. A lot of anxiety can turn to depression. What's your way of getting out of your depression? You know what it is? Whenever it's happening, I don't have. I'm not active enough. I think I should probably be aware of how I'm feeling more than I do. I think I just go through shit and say shake stuff off.

But I should be like, hey, let me do this to try to. So it would probably, it's got to be, it's got to be a food thing going to get. I would, without me knowing that. That's, that's what it is. So I'll go get myself a sandwich because I, I, I'm doing it because I'm depressed. Yes. But I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't really, I'm not connecting the two. Yeah.

Yeah. But now that I'm talking about it, I'm probably saying that's what the go-to would be. Yes. Oh, well, I don't drink. We know that. But I don't drink because I'm depressed. I never drink because I'm depressed. Yeah.

Yeah. I always drink for the social aspect. I'm in a good mood. Yes. Which is still not the greatest. But you're not doing beer anymore. I don't do beer anymore, no. But do you have to be more careful because the other stuff is harder?

Yeah, that's probably why I felt because I drank whiskey all night. And I'm like, you're like, no, I only do shots now. I just have an IV-driven whiskey, wheeling it around. Oh, my God. Okay. Who are you envious of? I'm envious of. This comes to a career thing as well.

I'm envious of comics. who know exactly who they are and aren't really afraid and I won't use the word corny for this because I don't think it is corny who realize that it's a business and it's a job and I do that more now

of realizing that it's a business but aren't afraid to like double down on the like what I'm doing is what I do and I'm pushing forward with it so I know once again I'm going to bring this point up I'm so afraid

don't get me wrong like me I think I'm a good comic but I don't I don't think the thing that's driven me to be whatever amount of good comic I am now what's driven me to do that is is proving things so I would love to be more

like self-motivated what self-motivated to go no I'm good like you'll catch me in moments like you'll never get a more confident me than if I'm doing well on stage but like but like the the after effect of like treating it like a business thing I should be more I should be really pushing

out whatever I can with that and I'm not so the envy comes of other comics comes from the idea like man you like you're just putting it out there you don't you're not worrying about obviously you're contented in what you're doing and I'm like I'm really I get envious to that yeah I also find sometimes when you connect your ego so hard with it it almost like stunts it yeah where because like you've you've been doing it for so long and you you just like can't even imagine someone being like that's not good enough kind of thing where it's almost like you have to detach enough to be like

I know I'm good so I don't care what that fucking person says That's and I don't get me wrong I have way more moments like that Than I used to Yeah But it's talk about fleeting

It's back and forth It's yeah It's roller coaster Like it's I think what I think stand up Is a special animal With that

Because I think With stand up Send up If anything performance Or show business wise It's going to be A meritocracy It's stand up

A stand up show In that little bubble Of a universe On that night So many things can happen like that's the only meritocracy it's everything that's happened that night is like its own judge jury and executioner because it affects other things it can help you maybe but I mean like your success based off that night and that's kind of how I came up like I didn't

even think I'd be working in this like my thing was I wanted to try it and I loved it for you know I was a huge standoff fan since I was little so I was like I'm not going to be good enough to do it I just wanted to try it so bad I finally after years of not doing it did it because I didn't start until I was like 28 uh but like I I full on think that stand-up blends itself. That's where the worry comes from because you, when you first start, like it took me years of going on the road to realize, oh, 90% of these people want to have a good time.

Because when you start in New York, what you're thinking is you're my enemy and I'm going to beat you. I'm going to win this. Like it was more of a competition. It was still fun doing well. But like you were like, I'm going to kill. Well, they were like, make me laugh clown. Yeah, because you do have New York audiences that were notoriously.

They can be great, but they can go see a million different things that night. So you're going in a club in front of a bunch of tourists or a bunch of New Yorkers. There is a thing where you're like, you better know what you're doing. So you do have that mindset when you start in New York because you're like, I have to get better almost quicker. Because you started here. You see how it is? Like, it's like it's, everyone else had the luxury of where nobody was giving a shit about you in Toledo. And then you came here already pretty good.

But when you start here, it's, so that's why I'm like that. Because I think that I'm so afraid of doing anything now, even business-wise, because I'm like, oh, my God, I'll lose the competition. I also was working because I used to attach tennis with my ego a lot to the point that I'd have performance anxiety because I was like, if I lose, then I fucking suck and I'm the worst. So I've like actively tried to be more kind of empathetic with myself with comedy, being like, I'm proud of you for doing that instead of being like, oh, you didn't kill so you're a bad person now. Or like, we're not proud of you. Yeah. What were you doing before you were 28? as a career i was i was working rand i was years ago i was a dormant um i worked

construction in low island the the irish have like this whole dormant like i've learned about it recently yeah there's the underground society with the irish is trying to get a building yeah yeah dude it's crazy the irish took together they do so you haven't like part of it's maltese as well there's maltese in there too oh hell yeah um what did you say so you hadn't found like a real passion not at all and then be right before i did this full time I was doing just a job that I was like oh I'll just get into this as a job it was facilities for an insurance company which means like you were the guy I got the repairs done in the building like you were like just like building manager type stuff but for corporate offices like commercial

and I was like oh this could I'll just do this and then I worked at the insurance company and then they were they were winding up they were like wrapping down the the business and then I went to an advertising agency and they fired the girl fired me and but it was actually I was so mad but it was a blessing in disguise because I had more time to do comedy. Yeah. And I got my first, I got Letterman shortly there after that and then I went from there and then I was able to do full-time full-time comedy. Do you find

that you did better with the ladies once you went to comedy? Well, I started dating my ex-wife when I was two years into comedy. So I never had, I was as an open mic, I didn't call myself a comic. I didn't call myself a comic for a bunch

of years. I said, if people had asked me like people from home and my family that I go I'm trying comedy I'm trying to do comedy because I had such a respect for it that I'm not going to call I'm not going to I'm doing my literal first show is a place called Maui Taco on Fifth Avenue and it was like you were on a milk crate with a blanket over it with a fake VW bus coming out of the wall and you're performing to in bright neon lights performing to people who were eating their tacos and other comedians like it was an open mic it was brutal I'm like I'm not going to do that and go I'm a comment Hey, move over, Jerry's sign, bro.

I just performed at a taco place with four people. Like, it's just not happening. I just never, to my deathbed, I will not be. And you also knew kind of what you aspired to be. Yes, I knew a lot about it. Yeah, exactly. So I didn't, afterwards, yeah, like I'm dating somebody now. Yes, I do, did find some, yes, I did way better.

Okay, when was the last time you? experience extreme wrath or anger? Extreme anger. You're like, I'm just a sweetheart. I know, but you don't confront these things yourself. You're like, I'm a Hufflepuff. No, I'm, I have, I've gotten way better. I used to have, I really think it was a long, it was, well, I'm talking like, I'm trying to

think of an extreme version. I, when I was married, I had an issue, a. family issue and I even forget what it is now that I was so mad about I punched a wall but I've been in therapy for a I was even going therapy at that point but I am way more easy going I'll get like

riled up about something but as far as that's just being a New Yorker as far as wrath or anger goes that was probably a few years ago and there was some issue going off with one of my sisters and I was yelling about it so much to my wife I punched a wall so that was a good amount of time ago I can't think of anything that I was like

Oh, my God, I was really put... But I also think that probably has to do with therapy because I joke that... It does. Most guys, the only emotion that they know how to show is anger. Yeah, that was me. And then once you comprehend that you're allowed to be, like, sad or jealous or, or... Like, and you can feel those other things.

Yeah. Then you don't punch as many walls because white dudes love a wall punch. I love a wall punch. I like see why guys at the count, like, why don't just punch a wall right now before you, like, go out and just get it over with. You know how this... stand has that like a little indentation that when you walk downstairs there on the wall there's like a little indentation of some white dude to punch the wall after is it really yeah after a set

i don't know who it is but i know what happened oh my god and it's probably you're right i think that's i think that's white dudes do love a wall punch we absolutely do and most guys do because you know why because the the jo de rosa the yeah probably was the thing is it does get it out like That's the old unhealthy way to do it. Does it? Or are you now, like, one of my white dude's friends punched a wall, and he broke his hand. Because it was like, you got to find the dry wall in it. You got to knock first to find.

Have a stud find him. Or you know in your apartment the punchable wall? Yeah, because there was like a beam that he hit stupid. You made an anchor problem. You just make a paper machet wall in your house that you just punch for fun. Wait, that's hilarious. There's a fake wall before just to fucking demolish. it try out the punching wall

just put on a new punching wall I was the type where back years ago I'm in the 20s 20s and I would be driving around road I'd have road rage and I would punch the ceiling of my car yeah there would be invitations in the ceiling of my car so but

that's night and day to what it is I would never I've driven that's why guys guys in their 40s are better I'm telling you they're tired the two tired even get upset anymore they're like do whatever you want I mean I can't imagine does in those 20s What a hyperactive leprechaun. Oh, my God.

Criminal. Who called him? Someone called him. Did you call him that? You or someone called him the electric shamrock. It might have been Sean. No. No, it might have been.

Sean Patton? Maybe. Well, I don't think it was me. Sorry, I got you confused of Sean Patton. It happens all the time. I've been brought up in Sean Pat. Oh my God.

That's so funny. Okay, well, it was last time you were a sloth, so like a lazy piece of shit. Oh, I don't know, about 45 minutes before I got here. Okay, good. All the time. I would say as an example, maybe during COVID when I got Burger King delivered to my house three times in one day. Oh, hell yeah. That would do it.

Hell yeah. That was a moment that I wouldn't want to stay in public that I'll say right now. We are spoiled in New York when you go on the road and you want to get something. Once I order McDonald's at like 11 p.m. I was like, this is going to be great somewhere on the road, bumblefuck somewhere. And the Uber driver took forever. At one point, I think the Uber driver stopped the McDonald's and ate himself. Yeah.

And that like, I was like, what's going to be? going on here and it was it took like two hours to get this McDonald's everything else was closed it must be cold is it cold yes it's cold the fries were but you just go you still late it obviously yeah yeah obviously

I this is how you know you love slothy stuff is I was in Indianapolis and I was excited because I went to a late night McDonald's with other comics and we went through the drive through one of the guys was driving and it was like this is how you know you're a fat so because I

it was like really really good McDonald's like it was like I haven't had McDonald's like it a year and I've I've told multiple people about this McDonald's since that store because it was so it was such a busy McDonald's and such a high turnover and so like they had to get everything fresh that we had and I'm like I haven't had McDonald's so it's like eight like that like I was so excited about it yeah oh you're going to the improv stop at the stop at the corner yeah I actually had a rowdy Indianapolis when I went there I got Delta and I went to a club with there were like girls dancing and one of them like fell and the club had to like turn the

lights on they escorted her out it was wild like off like a rafter like what she was dancing she was dancing i think in one of those like you know those circular things like so circ de solace type things oh my god it was wild yeah indianapolis is lit you don't talk about it enough people i was there once there was a kukukk's clan meeting uh there was in the downtown area i have to say i love road because I learn about a lot of new places and I think from when you're from New York right when you're going to New York and I'm from Long Island you're from Brooklyn yeah yeah everything everybody's just rednecks and then you go around you're like oh there's different types oh yeah I am such a New York snob when I go somewhere I'm just like oh like common folk but then

I realize there's about a two block radius in every city that is cool like has a good restaurant a good shopping store you will find it anywhere I think it's a new thing I've been to a couple of places. I went to Reno, I performed at a casino or Reno, and I'm like, there must be the same developer doing these things around the country.

Because it's always the same types of businesses at a row. There's a brunch spot with chai lattes, and I find it. I sniff it out. It's their gentrification package. It's like they go and they pitch the town and they're like, this is where all the cool kids are coming here town.

We literally need two blogs. I recently went to Buffalo and I found it. I knew there were like some vintage shops. A big coffee shop. Yep, the cool coffee shop. Um, so yeah, not, there's cool places everywhere. Um, when was the last, oh, this is a hard one. I'm gonna stump you.

When was last time? You haven't stuck on all these. I know, that's why I know you're gonna be fucked on this one. I'm questioning my seven years of therapy. I'm like, if greedy got you, this is gonna be a doozy. When was the last time you let your pride or your ego get in the way of something? All right. Can I talk about in general terms?

Yes. It's a career thing. Yeah. Somebody got something big that, that, that you know, that like a big career thing. and my ego, they've mentioned it a couple times in front of me, and I have not said congratulations. It sounds small, but it's not. Like, it got to me.

We love a petty king. Yeah, yeah, it was petty. You go, he looked at me and I just look back at him. It's petty. It's really petty, and I'm actually glad I said it out loud, but like I, it kind of. I didn't really give you details, but like, that's what it was. It was not just being, and I don't get me wrong, petty, that's a petty moment, but I normally I would try to get over it and do it I just haven't done it I still have time actually no I don't at this point it's too late but yeah so it was that it was my ego got involved and I was like fuck you I don't want to do this yeah I didn't do it and I'm actually I'm pretty bummed out that I wasn't healthier and did it so that what do you consider that like a people pleaser moment where you decided I I actually don't want a people please right now and I want to be no I think it was just straight up shitty you should have just done it I am people please a moment is when me like the

not saying sorry thing like somebody writes to me and says can you do this gig uh and i write back oh my god i'm so sorry i can't do it that's what i do why do i why am i writing i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm i'm not sorry i can't do it i just something else even if it's a scheduling thing yeah and i just what if you don't have anything going on but you just don't want to go like all the way to queens for a gig what do you say i i i i mean don't say sorry with that anymore i go oh no thank you i i i can't i probably say i can't sorry i can't i don't say i don't want to i don't I think that's going too far I think it's the I would rather do

one bazillion things over this yeah I just get really go the other way with it and just to be like oh my god I'm so sorry now I'm like fuck you but no but this was just a bad moment that I probably should talk about

in therapy but like just a bad moment of me putting ego over just putting it aside and saying hey congrats on this and I actually I'm sorry I didn't do you think they're aware you didn't say congrats yes 100% yeah it was like because I said it and like They also had a shitty moment

Because they brought it up multiple times And then like looked over like What do you think? And I purposely They were like Just was silent Like what? Like what?

Anything. Nothing? Nothing. Okay. Okay. Besides your girlfriend. Yes. The question is when was the last time you lusted over someone?

But I like to ask, do you have like a celebrity crush? I, um, do I was yeah I do have a celebrity crush yeah absolutely well do you mean right now celebrity crush right now or before yeah selina Gomez oh my gosh I love Selena we love yeah what do you like about her another big one for me but I don't know if you I don't know if you know who she is more a tyranny you know more a tyranny is she was on like ER she was she's Irish she's American but yeah she's I think she's probably I have Irish at least but

Selena Gomez I like what I know you're the producer yeah um more More tyranny, but more recently, because I watched, I'm a huge Martin Short fan, and I watched Only Murders in the Building. I heard that was great. And I made me love Selena Gomez. I always thought she was cute, but I always thought of her as like, she was very young. She's a Disney girl. Yeah, but even after that, when she was like probably 18, I'd be like, she's so hot, but I'd be like, she looks so young. It would be weird to say that, which happens, you know, but in that show, she's great in that show.

I heard she's amazing. Yeah, she's great. We love. The show is really fun. And she's also a big advocate for mental health. Lupus and bipolar. Really? Yeah.

Yeah, she's a real one. So, yeah, that's my celebrity crush. Final question for you. For everyone listening, I feel like you've gone through a lot in your career and your identity. I feel like you've had a lot of like, like, you're like the Madonna of comedy. You just. Can I put it on a T-shirt with your name? Yeah.

Put it on your website. Yeah, put it on your like co-worker face. I can't tell you. The fact that you said people said, I had to glow up. I think I just said that. But no, but like, that's what they met. You meant, like, the amalgam.

Well, I know Dez has talked about a lot. I've definitely people have been like, yeah, like he lost weight. Like, he's doing well. He seems happy. You never know what people are saying. You know what I'm saying? Isn't that what all comics do? I feel like comics come together.

We talk shit about other comics. And then we try to lean in to see what they've heard people say about you. Yes. And then you know when you leave, then you worry they're talking about you. It's really just a sick cycle. Yeah, it's absolutely. Which is high school. 100%.

It's just adult high school. but all the class clowns in one point. Yeah, yeah. Even unhealthier high school. Yeah, it's high schoolers where most of them aren't in therapy. But we love Sean in therapy. We're obsessed with it. We are obsessed with that.

Okay, so final question is, what advice would you give to the little devils, my listeners? And what to do to cope with your hell when you're going through it? I mean, you've been divorced and then had to have kind of a new identity as a single guy later in life. You've lost weight. You've changed your career path. what do you do when you're in your dark place well in my dark place I probably just

I think it's a I there was a thing I saw it was recently I saw this and actually kind of think of it now where it was on some clip from some I think it was like Clooney or somebody saying but it makes sense like the phrase

this two shall pass coming into your head helps a lot So if I have those moments But like I said I'm very bad at it being When I'm living in that hell I'm just like oh I'm Irish Catholic I'm like I deserve it

It's funny The reckoning is happening I'll never recover and I deserve it So I love this I love these questions because it make I never think about I never I don't I go in therapy And talk a lot

But I but putting it on my You're like I kill in therapy She thinks I'm hilarious Destroy in therapy And we do it at the Maui Taco on the thing um but no I would say I this two shall pass so I try to think like it's not as a big of a deal like the same way like okay so or if I'm worried about like all the stuff we talked about like I had a friend say once nobody's thinking about you as much as you're

thinking about yourself or something like that so like the idea where it's like this will end this is just a moment in time and there's like it will get better I probably sounds too cliche but like I mean that's where I have to remind myself that's something I used to not do so with age or you can say the words of what my dad told me before he died he said

don't worry it's all bullshit that's what he says which is kind of what I kind of think it's really funny to say it but if Buddha was from Queens if Buddha was from Queens it's all bullshit

so it's kind of the idea of where yeah nothing's that real life stuff is what matters that it kind of pertains to comedy as well like it took me the comedy was my universe

for so long it took me a long time to realize that like real life stuff is what is what matters and even that is like you can get past stuff well i do think it's hard sometimes when something happens to me i sometimes feel like i'm going through the hardest thing like i look around and i'm like everyone else is so happy and like and i have this crazy and it's like yes you have to get this story out of your head that would because then something happened me later i'm like no this is the worst thing that anyone's ever gone through yes when it's really stopping and having those good general mantras of

like that everyone has gone through pain and that nothing is stagnant. I do the same exact thing. Like I've been doing like I said, I worry about the financial part of this job and I'm bad with money. So like I, I,

I, what is bad with money mean? I mean, I'm like going to strip clubs blowing tens of thousands of dollars. No, I wish it was that fun. I don't,

I don't save as much as I should. Like, don't be wrong. I'm not like homeless, but I'm like, I'm like, and I just had and lately I've been having that thing

where I'm like worried. I'm like, ah, this month. That's the thing about working for yourself with comedy. where you're like, oh, I had to plan out. And my main thing is live stand up.

I'm not like, you know, so I, last night, I'll say that, this just happened. Last night, I got back from Montreal, Brooklyn, Austin, and I showed up, and I had checks waiting for me from a voiceover thing, and I almost cried. I really almost cried. Because I was like, I didn't think, it was like this guttural thing. I didn't cry, but I'll say that I got so emotional that I'm like, oh, my God, I needed this so bad in order to be like have homeostasis and be balanced that I was like I had like a reaction that I did not expect I was like giddy for about five minutes straight that it happened

well is this career is crazy because you don't know when people are going to pay you sometimes yes they're like within 60 days 90 days it's it's fucked up you don't get paid immediately after doing your job you're just waiting yeah and some there's sometimes when a bunch of gigs will line up where you don't get paid for a while yeah and it's like it's not things that you can it's not money that you can count on but yeah it's like one of that so when things come in for stuff that's like outside the realm of stand like stand up I should yeah I should be chasing down gigs more than I do and I I do a lot of road stuff and I'll do I'll get auditions but the auditions have to be treated like scratch off lottery tickets because you don't know what you're

going to get you don't know what's going to happen so like like the stability factor and when something comes in where you're like I have momentary stability you're like all right I'm good to go and I got really excited about it so Um, yeah, that would, yeah. We love the multifaceted emotions here. I know. Ending with tears is pretty. I don't need to go to therapy this week.

Appropriate. Yeah. You cancel. Well, Sean, where can people follow you, listen to you, watch you? Give me all the deets. Awesome. I, this was coming out, uh, when? A couple weeks.

A couple weeks. Yeah. So I, you can find all. I'm Sean Donnelly Comedy.com. And also at Shawnee Time on Instagram. That's S-C-A-N-Y-E. t i m e and please please please uh subscribe to the podcast it's brand new jerks and we have youtube for it uh brand new jerks on youtube if you search that it'll pop right up awesome yeah and and then on

youtube you can watch them and all yeah all your tour dates are on your website right uh yes totally look at me promoting you look at me i'm just your agent now yes i know please help me thank you guys so much for coming to hell and we'll talk to you later. Bye.