Berner Phone - Solo Bonus Patreon: Cheers To A Risky 2020 & Best Friend Breakups

Episode Date: December 29, 2019

FOR 2+ BONUS EPISODES A MONTH AND ACCESS TO ALL PAST EPISODES SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON HERE YAYAYAYA This solo episode I answer questions that will hopefully PUMP YOU UP for the new year or at least distract you for 38 minutes from the existential dread of our existence. I answer questions such as: How often do you doubt yourself? Why do you think loads of women settle for a man who steals their joy and passion? Worst friend break up? What’s the thing you wish you’d known at the beginning of making the podcast? How can we be funny and be taken seriously at the same time? What are ways that you practice self confidence and self-acceptance? How do you keep your head up when you get depressed/face a setback? ENJOY LIL DEVZ JOIN PATREON HERE Get 20% off CBDforlife.us with the code HANNAH20 --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

oh my gosh it's almost 2020 and i am bringing the bonus patreon episode it's free yes i have a patreon patreon patreon patreon.com slash burning and hell i'm giving you a taste today and by taste i don't mean you going um to the kitchen at midnight after christmas and going to a diabetic coma for eating all the sugar cookies i mean i'm giving you this one episode and if you want more you get four episodes a month and other bullshit for five dollars that's less than your macchiato whatever that also probably puts you in a diabetic coma but you know what life is short so that is in the link in this description look at my bio the first episode of my patreon i didn't i didn't decide to give as a free episode i like it behind a paywall because i talk about how i got fired

for my job i talk about some opinions of some guests i've had on and some behind the scenes on summer house i don't get in trouble but this was a very important episode to me because i got really great questions from listeners and I feel like it was a real hype up for this new year coming and I'm so thankful for all of you. We've hit a million listens and I want to give you guys this bonus episode for free and subscribe for $5 a month for over four episodes and more content. And I'll be back with the regular scheduled programming on Wednesday. This is all unedited. It's about to get messy. Enjoy. Welcome to Burning in Hell. What's up, you guys?

It's the second solo episode of our Patreon for Burning in Hell. We've hit a million plays, which is insane to me. But also just, I fucking love you guys so much. I wish I could hug and squeeze you. Sorry, that just got weird. but I just want to show affection and so I guess the way I'll do it is this episode we're going into 2020 so I feel like I want to be full of like motivational um just like talking shit about this next year and like talking through some dark shit talking through some positive shit and I just

want this episode to get you hyped get you pumped up I recently saw one of my friends on Instagram her name is Sam Emrick she has a cool page and she um wrote I want to have a risky 2020. Like, she wasn't like, I want to have a confident or I want to have a successful. I want to have a rich. No, she wants a risky 2020. And I think we all should do a little cheers and have a risky 2020. Like, go after what you want.

Who gives a shit? What's the worst that can happen? I asked you guys on Instagram to send me some questions. And I have a bunch and I haven't even really looked at them because I think I'm better on the fly. Sometimes I don't overthink it. The first question from at F-K-E-U-R-E-N-T-H-E. I'm not ever going to try to pronounce that is how often do you doubt yourself?

Damn, you guys are going in. You're going in. How often do I doubt myself? I doubt myself a lot, but it's instead of, it's a doubt where it's like, okay, I'm scared, I'm clearly insecure a little, that means I need to work harder. I'm starting this like new stand-up career. I started in April, and I'm not going to lie, I still, before each show, I'm like, what if I don't remember any joke?

Like, not one joke comes to mind, which is an insane, just anxiety thought. But I know that as I authentically put myself out there and face that fear, I'll have other things I doubt about myself, but I'll get over that fear of, like, forgetting jokes. Because then you're like, wait, I've been doing this for over a year. I know my jokes. Let's doubt something else. And that's how you get better. Let's doubt how funny the first one is.

and then improve that. So use your doubt as a way to motivate yourself because doubting is human. If you didn't doubt yourself, what are you, a fucking robot? And I hope you're not a robot because then robots are going to take over and it'll be the end of the world for us. Next, oh my God, you guys are, these questions are intense. At Bay Area versus Country, why do you think loads of women settle for a man

who steals their joy and passion? Damn girl! But great question. I've been with a man who stole my joint passion, so I'm not better at choosing men than anyone else. I saw a recent thing on, a recent meme that was like, you don't really realize that you're with the right person or that you're in a healthy relationship until you're like, wait, I don't have to cry three times a week. It's not like I cried all the time, but sometimes, like, so many people in relationships are settling because there's like some good parts or like you're really projecting. so much. I'm so guilty of like a guy like he's like tall. He might have like good job or he might just be like really hot and like kind and funny and then I'll ignore like real things that would

make their relationship not ideal for me. But like you want a boyfriend. You're like, wait, this is so close to what I want. He's almost there. We could just pretend it's right. Pretending only lasts so long. And if you stay in something too long, your body will physically start reacting, whether it's through crying or like you're not hungry or exactly. listen to your body because if you don't listen to your mind your body will tell you what the hell is up damn okay um what is my worst friend breakup oh that's from buffy the vampire vampire svea where's friend breakup oh my god i have a crazy story i have this friend who now she was a freshman at um wisconsin on the tennis team with me and we had not gotten along

in our juniors you like really don't like anyone you play against in the juniors we're all just like trying to murder each other but when I was 12 I hit a ball on a clay court and on clay it makes a mark and I and she called it out and I thought she was cheating me I mean who should let 12 year old girls call their own lines that's a whole other issue that I'm not going to get into today that's for another Patreon episode um and I basically said are you sure and she goes you don't hit it hard enough to make a mark granted I won the the match, but I never, I'm Italian, I never forget. I will never forget. So I was like, fuck this girl. But she joins the team and it's like just me and her as freshman and we kind

hit it off and I was like, wait, I take back all the bad things I ever thought about you. And we're doing well, but she was kind of suffering. Like she was, she missed her family and like she was going through some hard times. And I was doing well in tennis and she was struggling a little more but she was doing really well with men like she was a professional at hookie she knew all the football players she was really beautiful and tall and beautiful blue eyes she was like like we had the same sense of humor but she was like cooler and hotter than me for sure um and i was kind of like the silly sidekick which i was fine with um and while i was like getting sleep and like preparing for practice who knows who she was with having fun um but she gave me the confidence i think

to like be funny and rude to men, which is like the only thing that, um, my only true hobby in life. And she was just so funny and cool. But then as the year started to end, like I started to get a little tension from guys and I noticed it like, she didn't like it. And, um, she had a boyfriend eventually, the sweet, the sweet, sweet basketball player who she would kind of like cheat on and stuff. And she started being like, she basically, I hooked up with this one football player we just kissed it was adorable I had a big crush on him and he's like not really I was kind of nervous about and she was like I'll get his number and like figure out where he's going to be and we could like meet him at a party and I was like awesome cool

you're the best friend ever and then I I a couple days later her computer was up and her Facebook message popped up and it was him and she had messaged him like can I come over and give you a massage or something fucking crazy and you know when your heart just starts beating and you're like the the room just starts to just kind of like be blurry and she's like I'm going to the library and I know she's going to go see the guy I have a crush on there are over 200 football players why do you have to go for the one that I have a crush on who I just kissed that weekend and I think I forget if I called her out or not I think I might have called her out or not I think I might have her out when she went back and was like what's the deal and she's like I'm sorry like he just he likes me

I'm sorry and I was like okay just seems kind of sketchy so fast forward she was just kind of like she another guy had given me a little attention and she told me the next day she's like hey I talked to him and like he doesn't like you when he had told me that she was like putting her arm up his back and all this stuff and I was like this girl is it out for me like what the fuck and she was going through a really hard time now that i look back at it but as an innocent like freshman in college you're just like this is mean so i was with her boyfriend at the bar and i know she cheats on him but like i'm rooting for whatever i'm supportive and he basically was like why doesn't she love me like what what's the deal like why doesn't she say back that she

loves me and i looked at him i just said i don't know i think you could do better so the next day she storms in and goes Hannah what the fuck you said to my boyfriend that he deserves better and I look at her my first you first just are like how do I get out of this situation but I stopped and I was like wait and he's standing right next to her and I go I did say that do you want to know why and she's looking at me I'm like do you want know why I said that she goes what and I go I don't know because you suck this guy's dick last week you suck that guy's dick the other week before you're having sex with him you fuck the guy two guys i liked like i just went off i went i lost my damn mind i saw red and he's just standing there like petrified and she's like get the fuck out of

out of this apartment i mean we live together so that was weird um she was like get out of here and i was like good luck with your shit like good luck with your shit don't talk to me again um the next morning i may or may not had drug testing with her boyfriend who were holding our urine just looking at each other and it was so awkward but that morning she texted me and she was like i am so sorry like i am so sorry and i think it it showed like she knew that she had been in the wrong and like she kind of i guess pushed me too far and i lost it but sometimes it takes like having some respect for yourself for people to respect you and i don't mean to like fight with everyone but i kind of spoke up for my opinion and she saw how i really felt maybe she really reflected on like

how much she was taking advantage of situations. But I'm like, as I said, I will forgive, but I never forget. And like, after that, I was like, I'm not cool with you. Like, we're not cool. And she ended up transferring. And it sucks. It was like a breakup because I, we were inseparable. And she really helped me through my freshman year so much.

And it's crazy because years later, like, she had like gotten into mindfulness and yoga and she's teaching yoga and she's cooking. like she really changed a lot and i guess she's like really worked on herself and um we saw each other like six years later in a for lunch in new york city in between my job and i um we just like hugged each other and started crying and it was this beautiful like full circle moment um we're like of course i love her but she fucking hurt me i think there's something to be said about like not being afraid of confrontation but when you're that young you don't know what to say You're not smart enough to be like, oh, you're clearly doing this because of ABMC and you haven't coped with these past traumas.

That's what we do now. That's what we do now in first dates? You say, what are your past traumas that you have not coped with that you're going to protect on me so I can get ahead of the game? So that was my worst friend breakup, but now we're cool. Like she comments on my Instagram. I hope she doesn't listen to this. But if she is, we're good. I'm sorry for sharing our dirt, but hopefully it helped someone else out there.

How do you like living? in Long Island City. Guys, maybe some of you live in New York City, which is great. And if you do, quick announcement, Andrew Collin and I have our first show at the stand, which is like an amazing comedy club. I'm so happy that we got it there. January 29th is the show, the stand, NYC.com or a link in my bio and Instagram. Come to the show.

Nikki Glazer is going to be there. We have just a bunch of comedians and we're going to do our sets and host it. It's going to be lit. It's going to be Liddy, or as Andrew Collin says, it's going to be super dope Liddy. Liddy fire, whatever he says. But yeah, I live in New York City, and I used to live in midtown, but it was a straight nightmare. I lived across the street from Macy's and like that big Vittory Secret. I lived in between a Forever 21 and a gap.

Like people didn't even know that there's residential stuff there because there shouldn't be. It's the block of the Empire State Building. So every day when I'd walk outside, instead of like in Brooklyn, you walk outside and people like walking their dogs or going to work. I walk outside and it is the hell hole of the world, not a good kind of hell, like burning in hell, like a legitimate hellhole of tourists that don't understand like how walking works. And then salespeople trying to get everyone on the block I live on to go to the top of the Empire State Building.

And I'm like, dude, you see me every morning. Like, why do we have to do this back and forth? Like, I live here. I don't want to live here, but I do. and I lived with two guy roommates. They're both dating my friends, which is great. But also, like, sometimes I don't, I just, when I'm home, I just want to get away from everything.

And I finally was honest with myself, and I finally saved up enough money. And I was like, I want to live in a studio with my cat butter to give her a better life. I couldn't afford a place in Manhattan that I liked that had a doorman and a studio. I needed a doorman because I know that I seem like I'm just, have all my shit together yeah i don't i forget my keys um more often than i eat breakfast so i um and i do eat breakfast a lot that was probably a bad metaphor but some people don't you never know if you're intermittent fasting or um no judgments but um it makes me really hungry my brother's doing it who i don't know why he's just a masochist but some people call it anorexia but to each his own

I again don't want to offend people with that but I do think that if you just sleep really late you intermittent fast that's what I do sometimes 11 a.m. wake up only need two meals what was I going with that oh yeah so I lose my keys all the time so God forbid I live in the east village and it's like I'm getting home from a bar and I realized I left my keys in my other jacket which is totally so easy to do then I don't have a place to sleep at night and then next you know you're calling up your ex-boyfriend and the next six months are blur and you're in therapy again so i have a i'm in long island city in and my parents are there my brother's in estoria so it's kind of like the whole family's in queens which is nice i'm like i love spending time my family at least once a week to just feel like

i don't know i just feel like life is crazy and then when i'm with my parents i'm like okay there's some stability here there's some logic going on i can ask them questions they give me sane advice instead of my own thoughts in my head that I'm giving you guys right now. So take it as you well. But yeah, I just stopped pretending to like people and I finally was like, I just want to be alone with my cat and that's okay. It doesn't make me like antisocial or crazy social anxiety or bad person. This is me and this is, I've accepted it.

Next question. Oh yeah. So if anyone wants to know about my getting fired story, that is in the first episode of the podcast because you all keep asking. So, I mean, the first episode of the Patreon. Can you talk about disordered eating and building a healthy relationship with exercise and food? That's a great question.

I suffered from, like, they called it female athlete triad syndrome. Basically, when I was 14, I went to a tennis academy and, like, I felt a lot of pressure to be successful. They were, like, changing a lot of stuff about my game. I felt out of control. So I was, like, working out as hard as I can. And I was, like, eating in a, like, strict way. Like, I probably was eating.

I was eating like oatmeal in the morning, pasta for lunch and like chicken and salad at night. I was eating a decent amount of food, but I just wasn't like letting myself eat more when I was hungry. I was just being very restrictive. And ultimately it had nothing to do with food or my body. It's it's just that like you have to understand that when you're thinking about food all the time, it's just to distract yourself from actual issues and like the food is not the issue. the boy you can't stop repeat having thoughts over is not the issue you have your own stuff that you have to work on that's why i do think like therapy is really good and just like instead of being like oh i don't feel well i'm gonna just go to the gym to try that's just like it's like an

alcoholic like oh i don't feel well i'm just gonna drink so like yeah also you're not gonna you don't feel good when you're like just like so skinny and um just restricting yourself from like all the joys of life. I also think when everyone has a meal that you're like, fuck, I shouldn't have eaten that or like, damn, I'm like, I feel disgusting. Your body's meant to like work through it. Just trust the balance of your body. I knew that I recovered from my eating disorder, which is 100% like possible to do when food just isn't the topic of thought when you wake up in the morning. Granted, maybe I'm like obsessing over other things, but the point is like losing that obsessiveness with things that aren't the actual issue.

So I don't know if that made 100% of sense, but it's what I know about the topic. Do guys, that was Bahana Split, thank you. At Russup S, you guys have, the handles here are impossible, but I'm trying my best. Do you guys, you date, ever plead not to share their shit on your podcast? It's funny. I am an open book

I do keep some stuff to myself maybe if I just don't I want to and probably because I don't know how it's going to be helpful to you guys yet or if I don't see the funny in it yet or the informative in it or like something's forming and I don't really know even what to say about it yet

but I keep you guys pretty on the loop especially with this Patreon now I'm going to continue getting more in depth with that as I'm starting this, because I feel like you guys know a lot about my guests and not as much about me. Not that it has to be about me, but I feel like there's just a lot of questions that I really want to answer for you guys because I care about you. Anyway, what was I talking about?

Oh, this guy went on a date with me once and he's like, so you're going to talk about me and her podcast? And I'm like, no, bro, I'm selective about what I talk about my podcast. I will talk now about the fact that you ask because that's fucking embarrassing. for you um but there's content everywhere and it's a beautiful thing i got recently i got in trouble um this is don't tell anyone i'm talking about this this is between us this is like our patreon thing but i went on nicky glazer's show and we talked about my ex-boyfriend and um he i had coffee with him the day before to be like because him and nicky like weren't

that cool and i was like hey this isn't like a bash fest on you this is great for my career. Me and you are cool. I think I realized deep down, like, I was never really cool with my ex-boyfriend. It ended bad where, like, I got out of it because it wasn't healthy for me, but I kept seeing him because I still wanted his, like, affirmation that, like, or, like, I wanted to stand up to him in a, just like, yeah, like, he wasn't able to love me the way I wanted before, but, like, I just want to still feel valid in his eyes. Basically, like, sometimes you're just not supposed to be with your ex, and I feel like I kept, um, when I went on her show, I was like a little passive-aggressive.

I made fun of his apartment. Like, fuck me. Sorry, I made fun of your apartment. And later on, I said, like, how I think he's, like, I respect his comedy. He's amazing. But it was behind a paywall at Sirius XM. And then a month later, a video clip goes out. You guys could probably just Google it.

Nicky Glazer-Henner on YouTube. But I was hooking up with the same guy. He, we're not cool anymore after that clip. It shows the fragile masculinity of some men. You think a comic could handle a little making fun. fun of and um grand it's just like sometimes you're just not meant to be friends with your ex anymore and like i really don't give a fuck um to suck up to him in any way or be validated by him and nicky's just been like a really amazing friend to me thus far in my comedy and it i mean not even my career

it's just like her as a person she's just been fucking awesome and we bonded over things that like he would never understand and maybe he thought i was like picking sides or something but i just wanted to make fun of his apartment and make some funny comments and overall the point was that like you sometimes your ex can bring you together girls don't have to be like it's not a competition love is not a game we both weren't meant to be with him and it was funny overall and she basically was like i was so jealous of you i wanted to be you and i was like girl believe me like it wasn't right for me it probably won't be right for you let's move on um and it yeah he did some messed up stuff afterward to try to hurt me and um we're not cool anymore so that's that

update and you know what it's been very freeing for me it's been very freeing so that was the real fucking dirt we just got into also really quick if you live in washington dc i'm at the improv with jesse jollis who's amazing and andrew collin on january 22nd get tickets link in bio or dc improv com um who is hotter brad or leonardo oh my god this is from my grandma nana still got it follow our on instagram at nana still got it she's a slut who is hotter brad or leonardo are they both too old for you i've never really been into leonardo i don't know i like like the bigger dudes and i feel like he's kind of like he's cute he's the cuteness about him and now he just seems kind of like creepy and ever since the um the movie wolf of wall street i

I just see him. I'm like, you were too good at that role. Too good at partying. And then I see him with these little models. I think Brad Pitt is so fucking hot. Yeah, I'd, I'm good with Brad Pitt. I'll probably fuck him in any age. Because you still in your head, you know what he looked like.

And he still looks great. He looks great. Yeah, I'm Brad Pitt all the way. I don't really know his personality, but let's be honest, do we care? I don't think we do. Oh, Wesley Harris, who is one of my producers at Summer House, asked, what's the thing you wish you'd known at the beginning of making the podcast? Great question.

What I wish I've known, that it doesn't have to be perfect throughout. I think in the beginning I was trying hard to make, like, every comment, like, either gold or funny. And I realized, like, you aren't listening to, that isn't like what listening to podcasts. It's a conversation. People like it because of the flow or the energy. And once I got a little more laid back and cared less about which questions I was hitting and just let the conversation flow naturally, that's when the feedback started to get even better. And it's crazy that I'm like, do less is sometimes the best advice.

Like, you know, even when I started doing radio, I would be so overprepared and I'd be like, I need to have coffee or I won't know how to form sentences. Now I'll show up to radio, no coffee, 8 a.m. And I'll just be like, just be yourself and wing it. And I think that's where like the more you're yourself in different situations, the more you naturally gravitate towards the right thing. And if you yourself and you are terrible at what it is, maybe it's the wrong thing you're doing because I feel like the right path when you're yourself should kind of align together. I got a little general at the end, but you guys get it.

Ooh, Elizabeth. She's my girl, E-A-M-C-G-U-O-I-R-K. Sorry, I can't spell. how do you keep your head up when you get depressed or faced a setback oh my god um i love that question i realize that depression isn't me when i get depressed i'm like i'm not like oh i'm such a depressed person i'm like no hana's there hana's just like there there's a reason for depression sometimes depression is like a necessary thing you have to go through it's like your body taking a break where it's like so i don't know recently i'm like really into napping and sleeping

Like, I'm busy, busy, and whenever I'm free and I get home, I'm not like, oh, I want to watch TV. I'm just like, I'm going to close my eyes. Like, I might be going through a little depression right now, but I think it's because I'm in an intense phase of, like, a new career with stand-up that I'm feeling a lot more pressure and my body's kind of tired. And also, like, dealing with some new pressure with, like, the TV show and stuff, it's like, you might be a little depressed, but it's important to just keep talking it through and it's not something you, like, just click out of, like, oh, that's depression. I don't want to be depressed anymore. It's just like ebbs and flows and know that it, as everyone says, it's ever evolving because your brain is always evolving. Your perspectives are always evolving as long as you keep your mind open and just like not

giving up. But I think also facing a setback, I feel like so many setbacks now. Like I was recently talking to agents at UTA and I really, everyone's like, UTA is the greatest and I really want to sign with them. But for whatever reason, like my management was like, don't sign with them yet. And now I'm like, they like, I don't know if they want to. sign me anymore that was like she's not being very responsive and I was like I was so upset like I couldn't get off my mind everyone I talked to I was like do you think they hate me now are they rejected me now

like I was in a full on like my life is over and then I realized like wait maybe this agent isn't right for me maybe because she thinks my bravo contract is too intense for her doesn't mean I'm not good enough to be with her or like she doesn't believe or she doesn't believe in me and that's okay Because maybe in a couple months I'm going to meet the right age. I feel like setbacks are literally doors that close for a reason. Like even like quitting tennis, me not going pro. I thought I was the biggest failure in the world. But that setback was what like kicked me back onto my path to be where I am now,

where I'm feeling good. I got rejected from so many jobs and I'm like, thank God I didn't get that job. You know guys that make you feel bad and you get rejected and you're like me, and then it's like, yeah, the dude sucked. or he didn't suck but he's so wrong for you and you didn't see it at the time so like setbacks I think I try to believe like someone whoever's in control of the universe knows better than you in this moment and some things are setbacks that are like okay well you're not ready yet um like I had a set that wasn't that good recently and I realized like two or three of the jokes I've been doing

I'm just like bored with and it made me stop and rewrite those jokes and then I killed it the next night was i a little obsessive like all those people who saw me that night thought i wasn't good maybe and i'm still working on that but also if i didn't bomb that night i didn't fully bomb i did get an applause break i did pretty well but i'm very critical in myself and in those bad jokes i if i didn't have that setback i would be walking around with those jokes all the time that i didn't really fucking love so yeah i'm fucking a pro setback 2020 setback take your risks and sending back hell yeah um oh this is like a question you guys are impressing me at this is not hannah how will how can we be funny and be taken seriously at the same time wow what a fucking question um

i think that being funny entails being socially aware and it entails smartness and it entails awareness so i think when you're funny it it is like also a masculine quality so it's a little bit of like a power move to like control the conversation and be able to make everyone laugh um but i think it's it can be it's you can also be self-aware where you know um okay i've been like the goofball in this meeting but now i'm like you can just immediately change your tone like right now i'm in serious tone but i'd be like what the fuck are you doing you're crazy you're wild we're laughing i don't know what that meant and then be like but for real i do think this and this is why um i think being funny as long and also like your humor doesn't have to be self-deprecating.

I realize that recently where, like, it is easy to just, like, make everyone feel good around you and be like, I hate myself. I'm tired. But also, like, first of all, if it's not true, don't do it. Second of all, your boss or your coworkers don't need to know that you, like, feel fat or you're insecure, you slept too long, you think you're depressed. Like some things, like, keep it to yourself strategically for people to take you seriously. save that for your best friend, save it for your therapist, save that for your mom.

I think Mary Beth Barone's episode of my podcast was great because she's a comedian who doesn't use self-deprecation and self-deprecating humor. And she's hysterical and I realize that about her. I'm like, damn, that's so hard, but I realize like just be witty, just be observant. Use hyperboles. Use like just the silliness of metaphors. Compare things. Be observant all the time.

And that is actually harder humor. So I think people are impressed with humor and they'll take you seriously as long as you aren't hating on yourself the whole time. Like it's so easy to be self-deprecating. But people start believing you. Like I would joke that I'm like so messy and I'm a mess and I'm like my room's dirty and I'm in my laundry and it was easy and it made everyone around me feel good around me. But did I really feel good about myself? Not really. And now like when I say something funny, it's really funny.

it's not just people laughing at me it's like we're laughing together um so that's my little humor rant um i i am i a m e b b e said do you ever feel like you're just faking it through life i think everyone's faking it i i always say i don't believe in um the whole like experience thing they've done studies where like doctors with 30 plus years experience for doctors with three years experience i say the doctors with three years experience are actually way better because they're way more like aware of what they're doing trying harder updated on the latest stuff um i think that everything is changing especially with social media in my industry and and humor and stuff it's like we're creating a new voice for humor for like millennial women and i just think in my creative space um

if i just tried to be what other people were before me and and their experiences it wouldn't be right for me um i'm a little bit i have this weird thing i probably go too far but i don't really put anyone on a pedestal that I like look up to or um I don't copy any comedian I don't even listen to that many other podcasts when I was making funny videos in line I wouldn't watch that many other videos I'm very easily like that's easy but I get inspired easily and I'm observant and I didn't want to be inspired by other people's work and I just wanted to like do it how I would do it because I feel like it would dull my creativity if I already knew like what other people were doing so it's like whatever you do just do it authentically to you and and you're not faking

it that's you um and is and everyone deals with the same like insecurities and stuff the people who like in your job who have like more years experience yeah they just sucked it up at their job longer it doesn't mean that they necessarily have better ideas or they're like oh they've had more meetings than you like i don't believe that that makes anyone better at anything i think it's who's more passionate and who cares and who's putting in the work so don't fucking doubt yourself the doubt is what can hinder you Oh, speaking of at Science Guy underscore 1976, who is your dream guest to talk with on your podcast? I love, I do love Chelsea Handler, like Chelsea lately.

Her humor, how she would shit on her guest, and she would bring out, she'd do it tastefully, kind of, and she'd bring out their, like, uncomfortableness or different sides to them, which I love to do to see how people react to different things. Um, ooh, at K-T-Y-L-A-D-I-E. If the reality TV gig doesn't lead to anything, what would you do for your next career move? So honestly, like, the reality TV gig is just like, it's fun for me, and it was, it's amazing exposure, but I never think about it as, like, my career. I feel like my career is, um, this podcast and my stand-up now and making original videos online. And, and I don't have any, like, I'm not trying to tell a TV show.

I don't have any five-year plans. I just feel like just keep working hard every day and hopefully the right people will take notice or I will know when it's time to like take that next step or not take that next step. As long as I can afford my studio with butter, I'm kind of happy. And contentment is really bad. I'm not saying I'm content. I'm just saying that I'm not content. Okay, that doesn't make any sense.

But like you have to be cool with where you are. Like, because if you always think, oh, if I were to get a TV show that I direct. or I started in a movie, like, things would change. I know things won't change. I know my happiness level is the same regardless. The only thing I change is my happiness level is my ability to create. So I want to just continually create and challenge myself. So I'm not content with, like, how much I challenge myself or create,

but I'm content with being in this free place. Yeah. Okay, I kind of, that went a little crazy at the end. Oh, my goodness. Let's wrap it up with one. One more questions. What are your insecurities with your personality? I'm doing this because I don't want to answer this question,

which means I should because I'm challenging myself. By at the Geneva underscore convention. Thank you. Oh, wait, no. That was at Spoiled 2002. Actually, I have two questions I'll answer. The first one is, what are your insecurities with your personality? When I was younger, people would say that I laughed too much.

They say, like, giggle too much. And, like, honestly, I just had nervous laughter. and clearly when I'm upset or nervous or tired or insecure I just want to laugh I just want to see like the funny things in life so we don't have to deal with the scary morbid um meaningless life that we're leading so I just want to find laughter and people would be like she doesn't stop giggling also people have called me loud before that's my biggest pet peeve because my friends and people I'm with would know actually when I'm like really myself around someone I'm not that loud also the people who like me like me don't think I'm being loud. They think I'm like bringing joy to the conversation or whatever I'm bringing and I'm not loud. Have you ever heard a man be called loud? Never, never.

So like when I started Summer House actually, I remember Kyle said you're loud and I was like, oh, he doesn't like that there's another person on the show that's getting laughs and like, and I'm taking up space. So you better get fucking used to it. Sorry, that's a little bit of shade, whatever, who cares? lastly the Geneva Convention what are ways that you practice self-confidence and self-acceptance I think this is a great question to end on especially for the new year I think self-acceptance

doesn't come from being like yep this is it I'm good now my body's good my personality's good my face is good I did it no it's having empathy for yourself it's realizing that it's a choice to self-accept yourself and once you self-accept yourself that energy is fucking crazy like You can look like shit, but if you're sitting there in confidence, that is the most attractive thing. And I know it sounds corny. Like, just confidence is attractive, but like people, no matter how good you look, if you're insecure and you're questioning yourself and you're trying too hard to impress people around you, like, that's fucking annoying. Work on just being comfortable with who you are and people are so attracted to that. I'm talking, you'll have more friends, you'll have more boy toys, girl toys.

whatever you're looking for and um like self-confidence is like you just being your own cheerleader even when no one else believes in you that kind of sucks but it's like no one it's not anyone else's job to believe in you or like to know what you're capable of only you know what your real dream is like whatever that whisper in your head that's like i want to be an actor like i want to be a comedian or i want to be a sports broadcaster or i want to write a movie or i want to start an app or i want to be a makeup entrepreneur like fucking do it because that voice isn't going to go anywhere that voice is not going to die out it's your voice until you die that voice is there fucking do it um i'm feeling i'm feeling inspired and i i just feel also like i try to i don't look at myself in

the mirror a lot because um i feel like it's like i know what i look like and i envision myself walking around like just my most beautiful self like the hottest photo you have on instagram I'm like, yeah, it's what I look like, and you feel that, and you know you're capable of that. The right angle, it's probably hitting a couple times. And it's really just, like, also with beauty, it's so fucking subjective. I'm hot to someone and I'm ugly to someone else. I can't control that. All I can control is, like, being authentically me, feeling myself, and letting that confidence, like, that confidence also is shared.

Like, make people around you feel confident about themselves. And, like, that positive energy is so much stronger. People don't remember, like, how you look. People don't remember what you say. People remember how you made them feel. And I think that is kind of how I want it in this podcast. I think that hopefully you enjoyed any tips or tricks or advice or hypemanship that I just dropped on all your asses because it was really fun for me and I get worked up, but I enjoy it.

I love you guys so much. out um any live shows i have coming up in new york city um and is there any was i have merch if you guys want some merch the most popular thing has been the cup the coffee mug that says um a really funny quote on it and hana burner dot com slash shop um and i will talk to you guys later have a great holiday season Thank you.