Berner Phone - Taylor Strecker: Crying During Sex & Inner Peace

Episode Date: November 28, 2018

From the outside looking in, life was perfect for Taylor Strecker. She was married, wealthy, and hosting a massively successful radio show on SiriusXM. That was before it all went to hell. After divorcing her husband she fell in love with her best friend (who happened to be a woman), got fired from her job, and struggled to start her own business. Anxiety, jealousy, and anger were all emotions that she had to conquer to get back to where she is today. LIVE SHOW (use the code BERN for 50% off): http://www.carolines.com/comedian/berning-in-hell-live-podcast/ Follow Hannah Berner on Instagram & Twitter: @beingbernz Follow Taylor Strecker on Instagram & Twitter: @taylorstrecker --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Burning So today, I am with Taylor. The Taylor Strecker, Radio Queen. I love you. Host of The Taylor Strecker show and Taste of Taylor podcast. You got it, girl. And the younger show. Oh, oh, yeah.

Getting younger. And also their podcast is podcast is, is younger uncovered. Yes, younger uncovered. Every time we quarter, I would say younger undercovered. And they're like, what is wrong with you? So yeah, I do a few things. You got to keep people on their toes. I love mispronouncing names just to like see what kind of reaction I can get.

Are you really intentionally doing it or are you just fucking it up? I fuck it up and the pretend I didn't intentionally because I'm funny. I'm just being funny. Actually, no, I'm just like, I can't read names or read or spell. So my question to you is. Why did you decide to come burn in hell with me? Because I love you so much and you're my protege. You know, that's, again, I said I wasn't going to cry and we're two minutes in.

But I have to tell the story. Yes, do. We'll do the story. You know you're not my first. I just want you to know that. So she has many protegees. I'm not her first. She has said drunk that I'm her favorite.

Oh, really? I'm just kidding. I made that up, but you believe me, which means you are an alcoholic. No, that is for sure. So now I know what I can say. Functioning, alcoholic, thank you very much. Gets up at like... Well, no, I want to drink.

Why'd you bring alcohol into this? We should have. It's 5 p.m. I know. Let's have a cocktail. Okay, now you're making me feel like a bad host. Anyway, it's hell. People can't drink in hell.

This is hell. It's dry. It's scary. But anyway, my friend Michelle Cheach, who you'll hear a lot on this podcast because she's like the brains behind everything. I love her. Love, we love you. She said, hey, there's an opportunity.

Do you want to do a two-hour, our live radio show with this girl Taylor. I think you guys will hit it off. Now Michelle is one of those people that she knows when two people connect. It's weird. You just have to trust her. Totally. But funny thing is,

is I've never done a radio show before. And it is a different thing than doing video. People wouldn't think it. But it is. It's like the way that you rock and roll at, I just said that, like the oldest person where I was at video. You rock and roll, girl.

Yeah, they're like, no fucking shit. You're the teacher, you old fuck. But I'm not great at video That's something that I learned from you You know what I mean? And so I feel like people just think If you're in entertainment or media It's like it's all 360

But that's not necessarily the case It's true and I showed up You have to remember an athlete I'm thinking I have two hours of performance I need to be hydrated but not too hydrated Because I don't have to pee During this two hour live radio show Which stressed me out

So I figured let's balance it out With some dry food Let's get a big scone Also banana because potassium Yeah And then I went on to talk and chew into that microphone. Like, I have never talked and chewed before. For two hours.

For two hours. Straight. I'd call Michelle after and I go, what does she say? Like, I had no idea how I did. And Michelle was like, you, she liked you. That's the hard part. She liked you. The bad part is she said you ate the entire time and her audience is going to be pissed.

I mean, I guess I could have said stop. eating but I'm like if this bitch doesn't know not to eat the microphone I mean give me a break you're like what are we working with where do we begin but you must have seen a glimmer of hope I did because Taylor invited me on her show again and now I have a segment called millennial mayhem yeah it was millennial mess it was millennial monster then I realized I was setting you up for failure and that wasn't fair and I was also I think I was also um ostracizing my millennial audience which I didn't really realize I had so many of, but I guess there's a lot of you guys.

So thanks, thanks youngsters. You know what I like about you? I'm actually a millennial, by the way. You just called us youngsters. She's an elder millennial. I am an elder millennial. I am.

We figured out. Yes. But Taylor's one of those friends that you know what? It wasn't always perfect between us. We've actually had a bunch of bumps in the road in terms of, you know, there's been drama with, with, um... First was a Scon Gate. Skone Gate.

Then it was you and Darren Karp, totally ganging up on me. Darren Carr, Bandy Cohn's assistant and amazing podcast host We were too aggressive on Taylor Yeah you guys actually like the way like Patrick was Towards Lisa Vanderpump is the way you guys were towards me Like the rule of sum is never go After like the host or the star

So me and Darren thought it would be funny to make fun to Taylor for an hour And her fans were not happy so we got separated So that's strike two on Hannah Then we got in a there was some drama with What is it called? The reality TV world that I got involved in. People got mad at me wanting to be Switzerland

in a situation that you are involved with. Yeah. We said it like that? Yeah. That's good, right? Yeah, that's good. That makes sense. But yeah, I definitely, I was definitely a position where you are like new-ish in my life,

but you'd also become like a staple on the show. And so by that point I'm like, I can't like, you know, sometimes friends don't get along. Sometimes people don't mesh. Sometimes people don't like each other. but like you were you were ingrained enough in my life at that point that I was like I can't make I can't pick aside and you know what I think of our friends so you may throw that we're millennials we're getting old you know like I'm 27 girl my eggs are you know girl my eggs are green eggs and ham but the point is is this is a middle school it's not like if you're friends with this person

I can't be friends with this person although you know what I have to say in adult world you would be surprised at how many people act like middle schoolers. There's one quote that I do believe in. I think it was just a meme on Instagram, but I'm going to say it like it was a prophet. No, that's like Shakespeare. You just have to say it like it was a prophet. They said, don't trust people who hang out with people who hate you. Don't trust people who hang out with people who hate you.

I have a better one. An enemy of my enemy is a friend of mine. Okay. Yep. You are nasty. I'm old. But the truth is, is with the, the thing that you were playing with Switzerland, I don't hate anyone.

No, no, no. So that's why you were fine. If you were hate, if I hated your friend and you were just like, I want to hang out with her, there's some beef going on. But there was no hate going around except from one end. That's fair. I definitely feel like we're in an interesting time. And maybe this is, maybe this is just age or, but I think it's, I really think it's generational.

I really do. So I, like I said, I'm an elder millennial, which means I'm a cusper. And so I feel like I get Gen X. because I have a lot of friends that were Gen X. I almost feel very Gen X or maybe I did before I got divorced and started dating a girl. And then I was like, boom, millennial.

I think that millennials are more like mature. I can't, I know, right? You're shocked. I just see a different set of values when it comes to millennials. Like, even look at podcasting.

It's very sherry. It's very friendly. It's very like, I'll scratch your back. You scratch mine. Whereas like entertainment before, podcasting it was cut throat one spot killer be killed do you know why because you guys had rules you guys were like corporate america yeah and they were like if you would do a bc go to this college get that we're millennials we got fucked college was so expensive yep the economy was shit yep so we didn't

have a corporate ladder that showed that we could win at anything so we were like hey we just have each other like let's play on facebook and see what happens kumbaya motherfucker kumbaya and it's working out for you guys because i really do think that we live in a time where we we can only move forward if we work together. And so I feel like that's a very millennial thing. And so, um... So I want to just thank you. Yes.

Because after the first radio show that I fucked up in, I remember skipping to my day job being like, that was so fun. It's always blows my mind how much people love doing two hours straight talk, you know? I just just made. I love it because A, I love attention. Of course.

So I'm like, not only is Taylor laughing, but I bet someone out in Utah is getting a kick out of me. But that's the beauty is that like if you're on stage at a comedy show and no one's laughing, you know you're bombing. Radio, you don't quite know.

You don't quite know. So if you have a lot of self-esteem and are a little delusional, you'll love radio. If you're like me and you have no self-confidence whatsoever, every day you go home and you're like in a ball in the corner

you're like, I did bad. And then like I'll post one thing on Instagram. People are like, I love the show game. I was like, oh, I'm having the best day ever again. It's very dangerous, what I do for a living. It is. And that's why I think you're such a great person to be on burning in hell because there's the obvious. People know Taylor Strecker as, you know, queen of radio, 11 years. Thank you. And then shit went real downhill. Girl, I got my ass fired. You're fired. I mean,

fired. Like, like, not even like, not even like, we're downsizing. Or like, we're getting rid of the channel. Like, yo, you broke a rule. You're fired. And I was like, what rule? And they're like this one, and I was like, duh. But, and I was like, can I say I'm sorry? And they're like, no. Can my mom call? If you, if you break your contract, but that's bullshit, man. So many people, they get out of things and they pull, so there was something more going on.

Basically, the corporate man or woman was kind of like, we don't want this to work out with Taylor right now for whatever reason. My head must have been on the chopping block for some reason. And I, to this day, don't know exactly that I could, I could hypothesize. I could make assumptions, but that would get me a big. trouble. So my question to you is firing's pretty traumatic. It's basically like, you don't really deal with that in school. Like, no one can teach you how to feel when you get fired. I want to know your like deep emotion when you got fired. I think I was way more depressed than I even ever realized

until like I'm not even joking. I think I finally came. I always joke that my sister's like Disney themed wedding like pulled me out of the darkness, but it for real did. And she got married like, uh, well, now I forgot the date. And I'm a bad sister and also a bad maid of honor. But it was definitely early September-ish, I think. So it's been pretty recent. Do you know what's funny about depression? You don't realize how depressed you are until you're out of it. Or people tell you, like, my girlfriend, Taylor, is like, you were so depressed.

So I wasn't allowed to work. I was in a non-compete for three months. And I was going mad, crazy. I had to watch Moana every single day just to, like, you know, get coffee. So if that doesn't explain the depths of my despair in a nutshell, I don't know what does. also when yeah because when you're depressed the biggest advice is just move so the fact they're telling you you can't work like i work to forget about exactly the dark thoughts of my existence i couldn't even go on social media kelly catron's a really good friend of mine do you know kelly yeah fashion and she um so she was

in the hills she's also like she's like she's like queen PR she's like boss woman she's scary but i like scary but she knows what's up and so she's like not only is she a boss bitch but she's also like a PR maven legit so she called me and when i got fired and she was like don't fucking go on Instagram until like call a lawyer a really good one that's step one and then shut the fuck up until you have a signed deal and you know like what the situation is because um when it comes to when you work for big media companies like that you know you don't want to say anything or speak or it's dangerous because they're bigger and stronger than you yeah they're the man so my question is once you got knocked on your ass did you feel like this this is great this is a time for me

to create my own thing or did you feel lost uh I remember the worst thing was calling my parents because my parents, so they wanted, they supported my divorce. They were like so for it. But when I got a divorce and then I started dating a girl, they had a hard time with it. They're amazing now so I can like honestly talk about it. But it was not the easiest thing in the world. And listen, that's no shade at them. Like I think a lot of people are in that middle ground when they, like if LGBTQ, if they come out,

I think some people have the dream story that's like, my mom's ever like, we've known. Congratulations. Here's a gay cake. But that's like, that's like dreams. you know that's like all it's like yeah you hit the fucking lottery um and then i think there's a lot of kids whose parents like disown them which is like so horrifying and so sad um but i think that there's a lot a big chunk of the population that kind of their parents are like support the gay community but then like oh not in my backyard wait this is weird you're what with you know yeah there's this great

area it's a gray area just to adjust you know and so my parents are amazing now and they're like I think that they love my girlfriend taylor more than they love me which like makes me super jealous. When did you start dating her compared to when you got fired? Oh, we had been together for years. Okay. But at that point, so we were like super solid, thank God. But I remember like I, I came out on the air at Sirius, which was really scary. And I didn't tell my parents. Why did you do that? Because I felt like my, my audience is, they're my best friends. And so it's like you wouldn't not, like, you wouldn't tell, you wouldn't not tell your best friend that you were dating a girl if it was like actually like a real relationship or dating anybody. How was the initial

a response. It was amazing. I mean, honestly, I kind of re-instill, it was right after, I guess it was after Trump was elected. And I remember saying, you guys, the way that you've reacted has reinstilled my faith, like, in America and, like, in humanity. Because, so, like, I had a lot of conservative listeners. I mean, think about serious as demographic, right? Like, a lot of people who don't get regular radio, for real. So, like, a lot of Middle America. Driving around. And a lot of truckers, for real. And then also, I would say, then there's, like, also the affluent pocket too from because they put them in like luxury vehicles but a lot of conservative listeners and a lot of people voted for trump actually because i remember we would talk about stuff and it was

clear to me but it's funny because you're not just a lesbian to them you're taylor strecker who happens to be dating a girl and that was the thing that so i i mean a lot so that's so when people were so supportive i was like oh my god just because you're republican doesn't mean that you are you're you're you're you're uh you're what's the word homophobic yeah and but i did get a lot of emails like this is so huge for me because I've actually never known a gay person, but I've known you for so long. And you've been my best friend. So you coming out on the air was like me getting it now, finally, for the first time. So it's funny because I've known you for a bit, but we're so just like joking all the time.

But I've always wondered, like, did you ever have an inkling when you were younger? Never. I'm by. Never. But I will say this. And my mom and I were just talking about recently. She was like, I just felt like no, and no shade to all the guys are dated, but my mom was like, you never dated anybody that was like good enough for you yeah that's not very nice to anybody

ever dated it's kind of like you probably like them because they liked you and you like the affection but they weren't your ideal mate i never picked i was picked by them oh my gosh and i kind of and i didn't and like i didn't really like sex but i just was like well i was raised cast like my parents were virgin when they got married so i just feel like this for having babies i just feel like a bad girl when i have sex that's why i cry and i hate it so i really and i was like blow jobs are disgusting everyone hates them and say what because we all joke about it how they suck right but it's like That's something that isn't talked about. Like, yeah, blowjobs suck when you're into the relationship for a while and you're over it.

Or if you never were attracted to them in the beginning. Yes. Blow jobs are fun as in like you get to control their like getting turned on and like you're doing it to them. It's not about the blowjob or like eating someone out. It's about that you like the person and you're turning them on. And I totally get that now. But I will say like, no, I have a problem with the dick. Did you actually cry during sex?

A couple times. Sex is so weird Like after a breakup I'll cry after sex alone Like we'll be spooning And like I'll start tearing up And I don't know why But it's like your life's a movie

And you like just finish fucking I love you And you're sitting there and you're like I miss my eggs Or like That was so beautiful I don't know I just shouldn't have sex

The week before I have my period Definitely not Definitely shouldn't I'm like are we in love? I don't Oh man But my but so I call it So it was like a big deal when I got fired because like ever since I was with Taylor,

my parents like their number one thing was they were always like, we're worried about you, you're worried about you're worried about you. How are you going to like survive? How are you going to make money? Like how are you going to? So when I got fired, I was like, fuck, this is going to be the thing that they're going to be like, see, see. Now what are you going to do?

Who's going to support you? And so I was so worried and I called them on the side of the road because I got called on the Saturday when I got fired. And I was told that the previous Friday show was my last show and I was not going to get a goodbye show. Brutel. Trenta, Savage. And my parents. were so cool about getting fired and they were like Taylor

you're a survivor we're not worried about you at all anymore and then she was like daddy when my mom and dad talked to me they call me it's mommy and daddy they're not British and she was like Daddy come here so my dad came on the phone and she said Rich Taylor said that she said these things about we're going to be worried about

her and she said honey we were worried when you decided to come out and be gay but you survived that like a champ so we're not worried about you at all anymore and I was like okay that's perfect that is I feel like we're both close to their parents. Your parents are in so many of your stories that you tell. I'm obsessed with them. I'm obsessed with them. I feel very similar because I did sales after college. Then I did marketing. What kind of sales? I was selling digital marketing. That's so, like SEO. Like I was cold

calling. I was actually very good. You're very personable and quite charming. But it was soul sucking. I believe. And I hate talking on the phone to people. Yeah. And the energy of having to be like every new call. Hey, how are you? This is Hannah from so and so. And they're like, bleh. Oh. awful and I hate you right off the bat oh and after I'd leave my job I would talk to people and it'd be so fun because I'm like oh my god I'm not trying to suck life out of them like I'm not trying to take their money and I realized I want to start creating and I was watching an old video because I used to do sports broadcasting in Wisconsin I was watching an old video and I just go I want to do video like I didn't realize that you could get paid for that kind of stuff right but I was like I was 25 and I got an opportunity for one month to work in this like sports for like 30 bucks an hour and I said mom and dad I'm quitting my job and I was so worried

because you hear you know your parents can freak out they literally go we're not worried about you isn't it the best thing in the world because my parents were worried about me I was like stop saying you're worried about me

it's insulting like I can't like I'm a baby that can't survive my mom used to always say you're only as happy as a parent as your most miserable child well I don't want that responsibility well it's funny because me and my mom really close when I'm anxious about something

she can't not be anxious about it. It's crazy. And sometimes we'll just get so anxious talking about together that we're like, we need a break from each other. Yeah. But they gave me a lot of anxiety with my tennis. Like they were so, I was their first child. They I was, we were so connected. Like when I won a match, the family was happy. When I lost, it like affected the mood. That's so crazy. Because they never, such responsibility. I was like getting sponsored and I was traveling around the country and we were so excited. And they were so invested in it. So invested. I mean, shit. I've talked. I've Talked deep with my therapist and my family's worked out. But I wonder, with your radio stuff, like, how are your parents with that?

What a great question. And no one has ever asked me that. You know, they were super invested. Like, I remember when I first started doing Cosmo Radio, because that was, I worked for Cosm magazine. Because it's something that has a little ego. Like, my parents love that I was winning. And I could see your parents being like, our daughter is a radio star. Yeah.

And they loved it. And then I remember, so I, you know, so Stasi Schroeder. good friend of mine because I was really good friends with her ex-boy-boy-from-patrick. And if you watched Savannah Pump, you saw him. That's not who he is, 360, just FYI. But we were and are really good friends. And I remember when we did Cosmo Radio,

he said to me, you, like, are so awesome person and you kind of suck at radio. If you listen to, like, me, like, in the beginning, I kind of did suck. And he's like, just fucking be you. Like, be you. We're on Saturday.

You were, like, trying to be what radio was? Well, no. Well, I was trying to be what Cosma wanted me to be. So that was number one, right? But then I was also really concerned about my mom, specifically, and my dad, but more so my mom. And I was like, I knew she was listening. So you were filtering. But my job was to talk about Cosmo magazine, which was sex.

Like, I picked the more. I got offered any time thought I wanted. And I said, which is the one I have to talk about the least amount of sex in? And they said, morning. So I said, I'll take mornings. Why would they pick you for sex if you had that attitude? I have no idea. honestly

Cosmo didn't see themselves as the brand that we see them as it was really interesting they were trying to be way more like they were more like reserved we're fun fearless women and like not like oh but when you compare them to like 17

they talk about dick sucking but they like they kind of save that for like the night show like they knew that the time slot was like still morning and it's like a lot for people talk about like the best like way to do 69 it's like a lot when you're eating a bagel and locks like too much

so they were pretty cool But I, but I definitely, I, so when I finally started to break out of my shell and do like Taylor, Strecker radio, my mom and I fought, I swear to God, every single day she called me. And every single day we would fight for like three hours. And I got to a point where I was like, you can't listen to the show anymore. And it was so intense and so crazy. But like, yeah. So I guess it's very similar. When I was 16, I finally told my dad, I was like, I love you. But like, I care too much what you think of me. Yep. You can't come to my matches. Yeah. And I like won that tournament. that I told him not to go to. There you go, because I couldn't do my best job if I knew my mom was there. So then my mom just, like, would sneakily listen and just, like, not talk about it with me. And then pass progressively say things to me. But, like, one time she called me and she was like, your brother asked me if you're a sinner.

And I was like, what? Shut up. She will deny that story to this day. But, or she just like, I don't remember saying that. I'm like, I do. Like, Zach, do you? And Zach's like, I fully remember you saying that. Because raised Catholic, my little brother is 11 years younger than me.

So when I'm on the air at 20. three talking about my friend that gave a blowjob who took it like a champ the guy said I wasn't even me giving the blow job my friend the idea of my friend giving one made my mom call me a sinner and I remember that was like a big fight but I mean and I and it lasted for a while like I remember even being engaged to Wubby or maybe just living with him I don't know but he would like come on for work and I would be like crying because I'd been fighting with my mom about how did he feel about you talking about sex and stuff you know that was probably one of the main reasons I married him truthfully or maybe that our relationship lasted because he was

I mean, God, Hannah, this, you were doing a bang of a job because I'm talking about things that I've actually never really talked about before. I really, I think I made a lot of decisions, friendships, the way I acted around my family, maybe how close I was with them at certain times, my romantic relationships based on my radio show. My radio show really was at the epicenter of everything for a really, really long time because it was my life. And so, like, if you were a friend and you didn't like what I talked about,

about on the show, get out of my life. It was like, that was the rule of stuff. So Wobby was supportive. He really was. He liked the attention. He's kind of the kind of, he's the kind of person that will like, he likes all attention, negative or positive. So he wasn't really phased by it.

So he liked when you talked about him? Well, oh my God. We were like, we would, he would drive me to work every day. We'd get into a fight every single day on the way to work and I would get on the air and be like, the running joke is his name's Brett. And I would go like this every day. Because every day I was so mad at him and fighting with him. But honestly, it was great fucking radio.

What were he fighting about? Was that the point? where it was stupid shit. It was over my, you know, Grande ice soy latte and a venty cup with extra ice. Like, we'd fight over that.

So was it like best friend that you started to hate? Or was it like? We were just bickersomes. And I think that we were both like, I think that we both probably had our, the same issues. And that's why we were attracted to each other

because it was like enabling these like bad like habits. Like my God. I think we were both way too codependent on our families. That is so funny because sometimes you want to find someone with trauma that works with your trauma. Yeah. And I feel. feel like I've dated that too like he's this my ex was so wrong for me but we both had the same

issue so it felt like home it felt good and then you were like no no no no I hate this I hate this because then when you try to when you try to improve and better yourself that's when you start to see like all the writing on the wall and you're like uh-oh so what oops a dais what specifically did you guys have in common we were both codependent people very but but our families like he was so so tight with his family and I was so crazy tight with my family and honestly like I think that if you're in a relationship with somebody and you really don't get along with their family, it's like a huge red flag.

But like the way, like this is how I explained it when we finally got divorced. I said the things that make me happy make him uncomfortable. My family, my friends. The things that make him happy make me straight up miserable. And that's me.

That's my, I'm not like blaming it on all of his family and friends. I'm not saying that they didn't do anything. But like ultimately it was the way, like I just couldn't be around people like the people that he, you know, fucked with. It's so funny because you can make something work.

Like when you're younger, you date people without meeting their family. Exactly. This is great. This is great. You're marrying someone's family. But then at some point, you realize, oh, why is it weird when I'm with his friends or why do I not, why does my parents hate him? That's part of the relationship. Totally.

You can sit and watch Netflix with anyone and make it work for an extended period of time. Exactly. But it has to be your life. Exactly. Would you guys consider anything less than a championship to be a failure from this year? I wouldn't say anything as a failure, especially because we all grow every day. obviously the goal is a championship. There's no doubt in that,

and that's the goal. We want to win a championship. I'm Christina Williams, host of the podcast, in case you missed it with Christina Williams. The WMBA playoffs are here, and I've got the inside scoop on everything from key matchups and standout players

to the behind-the-scenes moments you won't find anywhere else. It's really, really hard to be the champions, but we have to remember how it feels and embrace the new challenge that we have. For all the biggest stories in women's basketball plus, exclusive interviews with the game's brightest stars. So to be here, I think it's one that we definitely don't take for granted.

But we also know, you know, that's just one stop along the way. And we're hoping to, you know, make it run. So listen to, in case you missed it with Christina Williams and Iheart women sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on IHartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Would you guys consider anything less than a championship to be a failure from this year? I wouldn't say anything as a failure, especially because, because we all grow every day.

Obviously, the goal is a championship. There's no doubt in that, and that's the goal. We want to win a championship. I'm Christina Williams, host of the podcast, in case you missed it with Christina Williams. The WMBA playoffs are here, and I've got the inside scoop on everything from key matchups and standout players to the behind-the-scenes moments you won't find anywhere else.

It's really, really hard to be the champions, but we have to remember how it feels and embrace the new challenge that we have. For all the biggest stories in women's basketball plus exclusive interviews with the game's brightest stars. So to be here, I think it's one that we definitely don't take for granted. But we also know, you know, that's just one stop along the way. And we're hoping to, you know, make it run. So listen to, in case you missed it with Christina Williams and IHart Women's Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on IHartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

So now with Taylor, how's her family? A fucking amazing. I mean, trust me. I learn my lesson, you know. I mean, after, I, I just really did not get along with his family. And listen, I can't blame it all in them. I'm, like, it takes two to tango, you know? My therapist should be like, put your racket down.

And I was like, but I don't want to beat them off with it. I don't want to put my racket down. But that was a huge, honestly, radio, I think, was a huge problem for his family. His family is very private and they don't like anybody talking about their business if they, like, aren't in control of it. And I was like, I was basically their nightmare, like, realized in an actual human form. So, you know, I, I think that that microphone in front of my face scared scared their shit out of them every single day. When was the moment that you realized you need to get out?

There were so many. Um, the moment. You're like literally every second I was like so, like honestly, I'll tell you, it was when we were, it was, I'll tell you one. We were engaged. We had a year and a half engagement and I remember calling our wedding planner and I said to her, I want to postpone the wedding and she said that is no that's no you can do she said you can do whatever you want but she said you can either cancel the wedding or you can um or you can go through with it but postponing you knew what you wanted but you couldn't pull the trigger I couldn't and she said I was too young and also did you tell your parents that feeling oh I was driving back from my parents I was I remember I was driving his car our car I guess whatever his because we were engaged and I was driving back from

Boston I remember to the city and I was crying and thinking and just like what the fuck am I doing? What did your parents think? Oh my parents were like if you don't want to go through wedding it's okay. Like we know we put money down but like you were really worried about you. My parents said that I remember there was a point in time where they said that they were going to stop paying for any, they wouldn't pay any wedding bill until him and I saw therapist together. Yeah. I mean it was bad. So there were warning signs. Were you getting bad physical anxiety? So I was getting bad physical anxiety. Okay. So so what so what happened was so I drove back from from Massachusetts called her. She said either post, she said postponing is the same as canceling.

It's all the same financial ramifications, but without, like, the finality. So either just go with it or cancel it, like, pull the trigger. And because I was on the radio, now I'm realizing, holy shit, the title should be, on the radio, because it, like, kind of took over my life forever. And I got married probably because I was like, because it was so public. And we did, we had this segment called Almost Hitch Bitch. Every single, like, week I would do a segment about my wedding. And it was like, the audience was so invest.

And it was like, it wasn't just my friends and family and his family and him and his friends that would be like, it would be embarrassing to. It'd be like the country. So I feel like that's probably why I just went through with it. That's what I think about these reality TV couples. And I'm like, yish. Eish. You have to think of all the different public ramifications that happen with a breakup. I was doing reality radio.

If I couldn't get myself on a reality show, so I created one on the airwaves. And so my, that was, it was like my life on radio. and it was I think it definitely had me I think I made a lot of decisions because I think radio for a long time was first and foremost the most important thing but girl it made for great fucking content I'll tell you that much and I beared my soul and I will give Wubby credit there like he really gave me the freedom

to do that and I that was you know I mean that was very helpful in my career wow I do I really do like love Wobby as a friend I really do I care about him I mean he doesn't he doesn't want to be my friend right now which I totally respect but I do feel like when we got divorced I was like we're not it's not you bro it's like it's your peeps and like I like

your peeps are going to make me unhappy forever and it's just like it's not going to work out but then the physical stuff so I started to get if you're eating something put it down super fucking bad hemorrhoids like couldn't sleep at night hemorrhoids and I finally got my way

to a doctor who was like got it and was receptive ironically enough it was my mother in law referred into this therapist And he was the therapist that got me to the point of, like, you need to get a divorce. You know, it's crazy. Sometimes your body will tell you before your mind can, like, figure out what you're feeling. In my last breakup, I started to just have, like, fast heartbeats. It's crazy.

Because I felt so, like, something was wrong, and I didn't know what it was, and I was talking to everyone. All I knew was my body was, I lost my appetite. My body was like, get out. I broke up with him, and I got my appetite back almost immediately. It's crazy. I had really bad acne before I got married Like, I mean, your body does do these insane things Trying to be like, Mayday, Mayday!

And then you're like, I just have to get a facial. I just have to get my hemorrhooth removed. I just have to use a mask and I'll be fine. I just have to sleep in the bathtub every three times a week. No big deal. I just have to cry in my office bathroom and I'll be good. It's so crazy. I actually have a friend who is a psychic who I'm scared to use

because I don't like when people tell me my future. But I went up to her once and I was like, I've been bloated. all month and I need to know like what am I should I not do dairy like what's going on and she goes oh you're stressed you're holding stuff in shit and she was like it's strictly emotional she goes you could eat whatever you want you need to let some stuff out you're holding some stuff in it's crazy and I like didn't want to talk to my boyfriend about some issues I was having there you go and it's crazy the mind body connection I know gross for real but speaking of anxiety because that's my favorite topic I had mad anxiety today by the the way. Yeah, explain. Not about coming here. Oh, you're like, I would never give a shit about this. I don't know. I don't know. I just, I was texting with Tay and, you know, I did my radio show and we

just got back from a long weekend. That could be what it is because I haven't worked for a minute. But I was just feeling like very like, and I was aware of it though. I was like, you're anxious. You're anxious today and you're having anxiety and you ate a lot of fucking bad food and you drank a lot of fucking booze and you're just, you're just anxious as I'll get out today. But coming here made me feel so much better. So thank you. That's amazing. You feel productive.

But also, once you realize that the anxiety isn't you, you're like, oh, I'm experiencing anxiety, but I'm not the anxiety. I'm experiencing anxiety because I'm off my routine. I feel a little like out of sorts. And I'm going to be okay. Exxiety like gets bigger when you feel a loss of control. And once you give it that power, anxiety will take over. Take over. So it's, you have the maturity to be like, you know what? I'm going to go to this podcast. I'm going to talk it out. Years of therapy. Talk about some dark shit. Let me tell you. Also I Instagramed, which weirdly made me feel better. Weird. Because that's

always the case. Social music is a slipper little sucker. I think it's time for a game. Okay. Coined by Sean Kilby. Instomosity. Instomosity. I'm making it a segment.

I love it. Okay. So, I'm going to ask you three questions about your Instagram. Okay. Do you remember one picture on your Instagram where you looked happy, but in reality, you weren't? Oh, yeah. Yep, yep, yep, yep.

And it's still up there because I, like, look so pretty in it that I couldn't get rid of it. It's a picture of me and Wubby. And he looks kind of like JFK vibes, and I'm, like, giving Jackie O. And I'm in this striped, really cute striped dress with this, like, white wool coat.

And he has a cigar because it's my brother's graduation. And he looks like fucking dapper as hell. And I'm just, like, like, like really skinny in this picture. like leaning on him and we just look like the perfect couple and we like probably were screaming at each other like two seconds where it was taken so I have the same thing with my ex-XX who was six three um saxophone player um beautiful gorgeous I wanted to post and show him off and we're playing minigolf and I'm like holding like he's holding his golf club and I'm holding my cute little

ice cream and we're like meanwhile we got a huge fight because I beat him and he was acting like an asshole. And I was like, suck it up. I'm good at, I'm fucking good at mini golf. I'm more athletic than you. You got it the biggest fight. And it was like one of those things that I was like, you're not the right dude for me. And people are commenting and they're like, oh my God, I love you guys. And I'm like, I wanted to take that golf club and literally hit him in the throat with it. Question number two. Yes. Who are you jealous of on Instagram? Oh, show. That's a great question. I think I'm going to go with because I had to unfollow her something Navy and I know that bitch like not like great great no no and if she saw

me now she wouldn't recognize me she'd be like oh my god you're Taylor strecker you are inside of all the extra 25 pounds she wouldn't recognize me something Navy's interesting because she got on the blogging bandwagon really early yeah so like she's people are doing the same thing she's doing but she got the success because she did it well well the key success is a couple things it's timing yep it's luck and it's also skill but like you can have any combination of those three. I thought you're going to say being skinny. I was like, okay. That's fucked up. That fucking too. No, definitely skill, talent, whatever you want to call it. But like, there are some people who are just a product of good fucking timing. And I will say,

here and now, I believe something Navy is one of those people. Because I don't find her to be remarkably deep or inspiring. Quite frankly, she actually makes me want to kill myself. And it's just because she's so rich and so skinny. And it just all looks so pretty and easy. And that's not real life. How they, I don't follow her because I personally like don't have anything she doesn't i don't know i stopped following her when she came with this t-shirt line of burgers and she was like every t-tuesday she was like grilled cheese and french fries tuesday and i'm like girl i am up and this bitch star in myself i actually eat cheeseburgers and fries yeah you don't look like that stop it it made me so mad and so i was i was like this is unhealthy for me and i have to stop following

her but like i guess my jealousy even more about even over the rich and the skinny is like the skinny and being able to eat thing if you're skinny and you can eat don't fucking tell me I don't want to know about it. What pisses me off, though, mad, mad, mad, more than, like, these skinny girls who are like, oh, I'm so crazy eating this burger, is, like, Jen Seltter, who is so big on Instagram, and I'm, I, I think her butt's fake. Oh, girl.

I think it's fake. I mean, I know her nose is fake. I have an obsession with looking at, like, before and after photos. Yes. And, like, I'm also, I'm an athlete. I know what, like, a perky boat looks like. And it's called, like, you having your thigh go into your butt. And I look at these photos and, like, the size of her stomach compared to her ass, it's not logical.

And then you know it's all edited. So I'm like, it makes me angry. That's, but that's the same trigger. For me, it's, you know, and I guess maybe it's like, oh, no, Taylor, you're just because she's pretty air and skinner and rich than you. Fine, yes, yes, yes. But ultimately, it's because it's like, like magazines, like airbrushing things, it's bad for women. And women, it's even more of an affront. A single individual purporting to be something that they're not.

I mean, the truth is that they don't realize the impact that they have. She's not saying, like, I'm sitting out today on my Instagram to make women feel bad about themselves. Jen Seltter has like nine million. Yeah. But that's what they're doing because they're like, they're not being, they're just, they're being an edited version of themselves. And because it's Instagram, we just think it's people's real lives. And so it's destructive. So I had to stop following her.

I guess so I guess that would be jealousy. you know and but I am a proponent of women being entrepreneurs and having their own career and that's awesome but um but not at the expense of other women's like like self-esteem and like like mental well-being exactly no one follows her and feels good about themselves it's yeah her in my opinion yeah yeah but it's so funny is like I'd love to have her on the podcast to be like what really happens behind closed doors oh girl you would get literally diddly shit from her but you know what try I'm dying to know so this leads into the final question Yeah.

What triggers you on Instagram to make you feel depressed? Like, you know, when you're having a good day and then you're scrolling and something makes your heart drop, what is it for you? It's a bunch of things, actually. A lot of it is like, it's career driven, probably because I think it happened to me less when I was at serious, even though I was financially less successful at series and also like so not a control of my own career. It's serious.

Like, I literally couldn't do shit without asking for permission. It sucked. I was like in no control of my like career and financial destiny. It was such like a cachet. People like, ooh, it's like the epitome of, I'm not saying this is for all serious employees. It's statusy. But for me, it was, it was all smoke and mirrors for me. And so, but it just, it looked so cool.

And so I guess I was always like, I wasn't like triggered by people's careers looking cool. But now that's like what triggers me because like I'm, you know, in this like rat race trying to be a boss bitch. But you know that it's smoke and mirrors. Like, for example, people message me at bedges all the time like, oh my God, your job looks amazing. And yes, it's really fucking fun.

But do I not spend an entire day? days like in a corner editing a video i mean it's what i love to do do we have office drama yes like it's not as perfect as it looks but like i'll see okay so i'll see like my friend mashum nicole she's still morning mashup like so she'll be interviewing like kitty perry and then it's like i look at the betches feed and it's like they're like we have a book it's our third it's our hundredth book seriously and then i'll look at my friend ellie who's like she's like such a hustler and like she's so fucking honest and so straightforward with like how how hard this, like, the industry is.

And then she'll be like on the right carpet for E. And I'm like, I'm a loser. And that's what triggers me. When I see it like in a, like, I have like three people in a row that I actually know and love and respect. Yeah, the three in a row will get you. And I'm happy for them because they're my actual friends. You know, after tennis.

But I like. I like with disdain. Yeah, I like an aggressive like, trigger like. Yeah, it's like a trigger like where you're like, I'm not mad. I'm not mad. Like sad. When I finished tennis, I was the captain. in my tennis team.

Like I had a pretty good year, but I got hit by a car in like the end of the season. What the fuck? Yeah, I was good. Basically, I was jaywalking because I'm a wild New Yorker at 6.15 a.m. in the snow.

Shut. Got hit by a car. Didn't get any money. I'm still upset about it. Oh, my God, girl. Because every day in New York, I'm like, if I just step a little oppressive, I could get like 30 grand.

My little toe. But after I graduated, I didn't end the way I really wanted it to. And I literally cut off contact with my team who are like your sisters yeah i did i couldn't look at their instagram my dad would be like did you see their match against you know ohio state and i was like please like it was so triggering for me i needed time to like process my own trauma yep and now i'm doing my own thing and now i can like root for them and i talk to them again but i needed time away yep when you're in a good place

it's it's it's it's hard and instead of continually taking out on others it's like focus it back in Why do I feel this way? What can I do? But also, I tell myself, life is waves. Like, I just had that conversation with myself today. Really? I was. I was like, life is in waves.

And that's just the way it goes. And like, I'm not like my crest right now, but I'm also not like it like the lowest I've been. Like I'm like, I'm like on like a swoop up. And especially with entertainment, we're not 100% control of what happens to us. Like who gets picked up, who, what videos go viral. And listen, I'm talking like this, this business is an every day to day grind. It is high, high and low lows.

And that can happen within a 12 hour fucking span. Speaking of that, I want to know, what's your, like, day-to-day deepest insecurities? Like, everyone has a thing that they're like, ugh, what am I, what are you worried about? Worried about. But, like, in that, it's like in that moment or like... Like, day-to-day, what do you insecure about? I worry about the future. I do a lot.

But that I've always been that kind of a person. Like, what if this all ends? Yeah. Like, I'll watch, like, an old housewife episode and I'll be like, no one knows who she is. more. And then I'm like, is that going to be me? So being irrelevant. Being irrelevant, I guess, is definitely like a fear that haunts me on the reg. Are you insecure about anything while you're on air? While I'm on the air? No. She's free, bitch. I just, I just do. I commit. I just panic afterwards. So I want to know more about this afterwards, Taylor, because I witness the in the moment,

Taylor, who's like crushing, crushing, crushing. What do you, what are things afterwards that make you upset? I worry about like things that I said. Am I going to get myself? trouble with people like is my mom going to be mad at me is taylor going to be mad at me or my friends are going to be mad at me the answer to all of the above is normally yes i ever got mad on the show oh yes i when i was at serious i flirted with this guy i can't even remember his fucking name um and it was he was just super flirty and so like my job as an interviewer is to like go with the flow and the energy and so i flirted back and tay was not placed and she was like that was fucked up but that's kind of adorable that she cares enough to listen and be like

I get jealous. I can't even remember the guy's name. I want to have a jealous boyfriend. That sounds fun. Honestly, I think a little bit. No, not even a little. A healthy teaspoon of jealousy is because of a relationship. Otherwise, you don't give a fuck.

And if you don't give a fuck, what's you doing? Well. Girl. Girl. Yeah. With that said, we're going to end with one final game. Seven Deadly Sins. Number one.

Yeah. A little speed fire. Okay. What are you greedy about? Money. I love money. I want more and more and more. So you were dating a dude who had mad money.

Yeah. Did you learn about the value of a dollar? I learned so much about money. I learned about rich people mentality, which I think is actually really important. I swear to God, especially in New York, like rich people, they're very worried about people using them for money.

So I learned that. And I also learned about money when we got a divorce. I got a settlement. And he was like, don't wait. this morning and I was like shut the fuck up and then I thought he's right and so I took his advice so honestly he taught me a lot about money he's very smart with money I understood the value of a dollar when you kind of realize that your job sucks even if you're making money yeah you realize happiness is worth more than a dollar it is but sometimes a dollar gives you happiness so then you get

really confused there's actually studies that show that like if you are below the poverty line you're more stressed out than anybody else ultimately just because it's a hard life but like between Like, I think it's like, I think it's like 80,000 and like 350,000. There is no difference in happiness. They also said if you win the lottery, you're definitely going to be depressed. That's why I didn't win. Me either. I intentionally didn't win.

I intentionally was like, I don't want to win. Who are you envious of besides something Navy? I'm envious to my girlfriend. Why? Because she has, so she's one of those skinny people who can eat whatever she fucking wants. I thought you guys say something like she has inner peace. You said skinny. yeah that too yeah no skinny is my thing and also long legs but like what i do is like we lay in bed

and she puts her legs over mine and i pretend like they're my legs but they're not that's the weird thing about dating a girl because part of you is like compared on with it and then part of you is like but are your breast perk you're than i but i wish i look like that and when she wants to borrow my clothes it don't fit me right now i'm like bitch that's go fit me soon don't ruin it my fucking poochie bikini she ruined i love that what are you gluttonous about speaking of eating fucking food and booze, honey, but specifically Sonsair, which is the best wine in the entire world. Like, I won't share it, you know? Like, I'm like that, like, over the weekend.

I feel like it's gone to the point that the brand is like, we get it. You love Sincere. So sponsor my ass. It's not, it's an entire region of France. It's a Luar Valley girl. It's not, it's just a type of wine. I feel like you're better than me just for liking that wine. I feel better than everybody for knowing about it.

Well, moving on. What was the last time you experienced extreme wrath? wrath as an anger anger it's been a minute that's a lie I just recently experienced it a week ago it was a business thing and I was really fucking pissed off and that's all I think it's good to get angry in terms of business like you know people were like you shouldn't cry but I cried in a business meeting two weeks ago I think um you can get mad and have your moment and like fucking flip out but you have to like be very you can like it's like a really it's any it's like a it's like a any really shape there's a thin line between really passionate and really you can be passionate but like

it's always it's it's it's never good in any situation to be like you did this new do this but like i was feeling like wrathful like and you didn't why in the why did it work no i'm still working through okay when was the last time you were a sloth um like every fucking weekend today all your i laid in bed all your insinstories are from the bed i you're so right i know i was i was like should i move around the apartment. Should I pretend I'm awake for a second? I have, there have been days on my phone. Now, to be fair to myself, I don't always have my phone on my hand, but there have been,

I have looked at days when you look at that app on your phone, the health app, I have walked eight steps. Did I, like, was I peeing myself? On a Saturday, you check your phone. And there's a ton, a shit ton of walking. I don't know where I was going until about 3 a.m. And then there's nothing but 15 steps at 12 p.m. when I went to get my seamless order.

That's a good Saturday. Solid Saturday. Next, when was the last time you let your pride get in the way of something? Ooh, my pride. I don't know. That's like a scary question because I feel like if I actually really think hard about it, I'll realize that I made like massive mistakes in my life because of pride. It's actually pretty deep.

Do you have an ego? I definitely have an ego and I can be prideful, but I'm really good at checking it. And I've learned, especially in this. I think it's because you have such a huge audience at the second you overstep your boundary. They're like, what? You're being a bitch. They smack me the fuck.

Duh, fuck down. I, yeah, I don't think I've been prideful. I mean, my mommy should always say pride before the fall. So I haven't been prideful in a really long time. But sometimes, like, I'll say, my manager will be like, oh, like, so-and-so wants to do this. And I was like, that. And then I'm like, just do it.

Because then I realize I'm being prideful. And I don't want to, I don't want the fall to come. Also, I find pride in relationships. A lot of, like, texting pride. maybe I'm no I really can't think of the last round was prideful no but that was it's true when you're dealing with work that's a thing how about this uh I didn't get along with one of my wasbans uh family members specifically and my pride with her probably is what ultimately led to me like to being like pieces deuce as I'm out of here but are you happier you're happier but I'm happier so it's like

you know what sometimes pride's good exactly last question when was the last time you lusted over someone when was the last time I watched a rerun of Friday Night Lights because I love Taylor Kitch Like deeply Him and Zach Efron actually I just watched 13 What was it? 13 again Would you give him a blowjob and like it? Oh

I would do it for him So does Taylor get jealous? No she has the same feeling towards him Oh yeah we love him Because he's like beautiful I interviewed him and it was weird And I scared him And it was amazing

Did you like hold his hand the whole time like this? No, I was just like, I'm your number one fan. I love you, I love you, I love you. I freaked out and he was like, no, I'm like used to this. Oh, life must be hard. I lust for him. Well, thank you so much for burning in hell with me today. Thanks, girl.

You are the reason I'm doing radio right now. Thank you. We had a vision. I'll receive that. We had a, it was just an idea in my head to start something based on seeing all the shit you've done. And now we've done it. And then I put you through hell and you survive. I did.

I feel closer to you. Oh, girl, I love you. I love you too. And to good things in the future for us. Fuck yeah, money. Yeah. Get that money. That's what I'm talking about.

Whatever team fee is on, has a chance to win a championship. I'm Christina Williams, host of the podcast, in case you missed it with Christina Williams. The WMBA playoffs are here and I've got the inside scoop on everything from key matchups and standout players to the behind the scenes moments you won't find anywhere else. It's really, really hard to be the champions, but we have to remember how it feels and embrace the new challenge that we have. So listen to In case you missed it with Christina Williams and IHeart Women's Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.