Berner Phone - Taylor Strecker: Finding Love Again & Finding Herself

Episode Date: December 3, 2021

HAPPY 3 YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF BERNING IN HELL! I had to have my favorite person in the world, Taylor Strecker. She was my inspiration to start podcasting and was my first guest on Berning In Hell. A lot has happened in her life since that first interview and this is the most vulnerable she's ever been. We love to see it in hell.--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Everyone wants to put something in a box, but I've never known you. Interesting choice of words, you homophore. Hey, that's the intro. Welcome to Burning in Hell. Today is a very special day. It is the Burning in Hell three year anniversary. I've never done anything for three years but we're here and you're probably wondering

Hannah who are you going to have on for your three year anniversary I'm going to have the OG my number one Russian gymnastic coach the Taylor Strucker who was the first ever guest on Burning in Hell and who taught me how to do radio oh okay go on don't stop Taylor welcome to

hell hey girl hey hey hey hey yes we love it yeah so i'm so happy to have you on because it's been three fucking years a lot has changed yeah i'm gonna give people a quick summary about you long story short tay can be summed up in a couple sentences oh really she i can't wait to hear this shit she worked for c r6m she was a star for 10 years got fired um then got married to very rich man yeah this is just your brand i'm saying god i was married before i was fired that's important she was married before she was fired yes she did not need a rich man but she got one because society was like yes no no no i want to be clear my salary at serious was shit i did need a rich man they paid you with tuna sandwiches basically so then you divorce rich man i did i did and then you

have an epiphany that you are in love with a tailor. Yes. Who happens to be a woman. Yes. And then most recently, you have your own business and you have fully married this woman. Yes. And you are a unit. A pussy powerhouse, I would say.

Pussy power house. That's what we call our house. Well, that's the name of the podcast. We're done. Wrap it up. holy shit oh girl wait you haven't had me on in three years fuck you yeah what the fuck hasn't been or has it been two years um i definitely have had you on like 18 times on taste of taylor my podcast but uh yeah whatever i mean you're more famouser than me so it's fine i understand and actually i really shouldn't have you on as much as i do like my producer i call my producer

producer Don, a.k.a. my wife, Taylor, Donahue. Um, but she, um, she was like, no more Hannah. And I'm like, but I love her. So fun fact, um, Taylor's wife. Wife. Other Taylor at its burning in hell as well. So she's had a lot of us, but she enjoys loud brunettes maybe. I don't know. She can tolerate us for so long. But also the fact that you guys, I have a specific question. Taylor Lottner just got engaged to Taylor what's are you okay bitch stole my look like literally yeah i'm not well thank you for bringing this up i wanted to get it here's a deal i like i'm not gonna say i'm the pioneer but of the podcasting world i actually am so at serious i mean i was like coming to a very old game

with radio at series but serious was like unlike any of the radio it was satellite it was subscription and it was um like the old garb of radio was like the girls were dumb the guys were in charge it was very can you explain this to me laugh at every fucking terrible bit every dad joke they're like dying laughing over they're constantly told they're stupid it was very misogynistic radio tends to be that way and with serious when i came on it was with cosmo magazine radio so they were very much like female empowerment and the fact alone that i was the morning show lead and I was a woman was huge

but the way we did radio my co-host Kenny and I like he was like I refused to just fight with you for the sake of fighting like if I agree I agree if I don't I don't and so we kind of carved out this very non-radio radio show and now looking back I'm like oh shit bitch we were podcasting

but being a pioneer blows because you just ask Paris Hilton she's so poor now and I'm irrelevant wait is she poor no she's A billionaire, basically. No, but being the first, sometimes you're ahead of your time, and people can't always accept it. Yeah. And you make the mistakes that other people can learn from.

Totally. But I still think, I'm excited to see what you're going to do in the future, but I do know that you are a great mentor to me. And I just want people to know that Taylor, low-key gave me my first ever, like, radio gig. I just told this to Amanda Hirsch, not skipping it. fat. And she said, she was asking a question about the show I do now, the Taylor Strucker show. Subscribe up.com slash the Taylorstrucker show. Anyway, and she was asking questions just about like the rotations, all that stuff. And I had mentioned that you were on it. And she was like, wait, what? And I was like, I actually like gave Hannah her podcasting start. She was

shook and also thought I was a liar. You guys, I had a try out to the Taylor Stricker show. So bad. It was bad. And I remember being I was nervous because you were powerful. I don't, I truly don't believe the words that are coming out of your mouth, but continue again. You had like Emma Wilman, Carlyacolino, you had all these amazing women on your pod and on your show. And I felt like if you didn't like me, it was kind of like, you're not good enough.

Listen, you were good. You're raw talent. I know when I see it. Like I am a radio personality. I'm talent myself. I host shows. Yeah. But I'm actually realizing that I am just as good, if not better, at spotting

talent than I am even a being talent. And so I knew you were talented off the bat, but you ate a scone. I ate a scone on air. Scone Gate, bitch. Dry mouth. But to this day, I have people in my DMs just being like, hey, just want to send you good vibes. And I've been here since sconegay.

And that is like four years ago maybe. So you guys, this is my soul sister on the pod today. But I want to break you down a little because you're interviewing people all the time. and you talk about yourself but it's you know a narrative that you're putting out there so we need to dig a little deeper i'm here and i need to finally somebody is asking you about me enough about me what do you want to know about me i never get to talk about myself it's always about everybody else we're both lies by the way if you listen to the show all i do is interrupt everybody with stories about myself which i'm doing right now continue no it's so i hate when i have to pull teeth to like have someone to answer a question i'm like let's stop acting like like you're coy you went on this to promote something talk right so tay yes you love was not easy for you in the beginning no what happened to you divorce is something that everyone is

scared of yes do you have any advice for people who are scared of divorce who like haven't even been with anyone but they're just so petrified of that or people who have are in a relationship that they're like fuck I might need to get out of this or people who are just like I don't is divorce as scary as it seems no actually okay listen we didn't have kids so I think I'm in a different category of divorce when you have kids it's a whole different ballgame I can't even speak to that I won't even pretend like I can but divorce in my experience is it like actually made me it was a journey where I started to finally like love myself myself first yes it was very empowering and I like and still though when I had like now I don't have to check the box because I'm married

but when I did for a long time have to check a divorce box like at the doctors or like on insurance or like whatever forms so weird so weird I was like okay you're obsessed with me why are you asking all these questions god I was like divorce failure I was raised Catholic so that was like no no like you're going to hell bitch but I will I would be lying if I said that like I it wasn't It was amazing. Like, it was when I finally said to myself, it was the first time of my life, maybe ever. I was like, you're putting yourself first.

You deserve more. Like, believe in yourself and do something for you. Please, God, finally. So I think divorce can be incredibly empowering. Yes, it's painful. It's hard to break up with somebody. I can't even break up, like, with a boyfriend in sixth grade, let alone, like, end of marriage.

But there is something about it that's actually, there's a silver lining. I can't even break up with my bodega guy, right when you suddenly moved to a new place and you're like sorry I'm not getting bacon egg and cheese or hair dresser it's like I don't want you to cut my hair anymore you're like oh god you just ghost it's fucked up but I love that you said that answer because I had no idea if you were going to go positive or negative with that positive when people tell me they got divorced I always say congratulations you sure and I haven't gotten divorced but I feel like when

you divorce someone you know them through and through the worst heartbreak is when it's that guy or girl two, three months in, the endorphins are still on. You don't fucking know shit about that person day to day. And you've imagined that they are the greatest thing ever. Of course. And you are literally high on their fair months. I called my ex on the air for years, Mr. Perfect. R-ro.

When those people goes to you, that's fucked up. But I feel like when you're in a marriage and you've tried your hardest, you know the bad times. I think the key is to remember the bad times when you get out of a relationship and be like, it's hard. You could look back rose-colored glasses. Oh, when I had it together, when, people thought I was together, but it's like, the hardest thing about divorce is I feel like

what other people think about it. Totally. And also, money is really scary. Yeah. And when, especially like a rich husband, it was like, I had to really go, okay. So how much do I really value my happiness? Because I lack Chanel bags. And I like the Soho House. Like, you know, how bad is it really? How much do I love myself ultimately? And I couldn't believe that I loved myself more than Prada. But here I am. I do. Did that make you get to know yourself more? It really does. Like getting a divorce.

So the thing is my parents were virgins when they got married and they're not lying. My mom was like 20. My dad was like 21. Okay. And so for me it was like and like I said, raised Catholic. So divorce like no fucking way. You go to hell immediately. And I also didn't have parents that could like help me.

So my divorce was the first time I ever experienced anything that my parents didn't understand or live through. So they were like, oh, in middle school this happened. in high school, it's like this. College is wanting to meet all your best friends. That was wrong. They were wrong. They were boomers.

But the marriage, this is how we'll kind of go. They have like some semblance of what could happen and be like, this is the path we took. Like, here's our advice with divorce. I was like, so why do? And they're like, we literally don't know. They're like, you take a stripper pull to hell. That's how you get divorced. But what's so funny is in the Catholic.

Oh my God. This makes me laugh. So I love little gnaz. In the Catholic church, you get a little bit. get a divorce you go to hell you not only okay this is this is how you get a divorce and you basically then tell your parents that you might be gay oh girl i mean let's just stick on divorce for a second that's what's double hell because that's where i'm going i think it actually it's like it's like a catch 22 and it sends you right back up to heaven it negates itself

too negative to make a positive legit god loves the gays don't fucking at me no you know what if I'm gonna have me I dare you I will block you okay so divorce so with the divorce it was like that was something that was like I honestly knew for so long and it like it took having known as long as I knew that it wasn't the right decision I think I've told this before just in case people are new to me I called my wedding planner before the marriage and was like I think we should postpone the wedding and she was like that's bullshit call it off or go through like but it's like postponement is like canceling but then you just have to, like, repay for everything.

Like, it doesn't make sense financially. So I went through with it because I was, like, 27, 28, and I was a kid. And I'm like, what, like, people say gifts. My parents had down payments. His, it's too, us too. Like, it was like a three-way, we had, like, a three-way wedding where we all split the costs. But it really was like, it was a lot. It doesn't happen overnight.

That's the point because it's a big decision, even without kids. And so I had to really think it through. And, like, I'm talking, I, like, took the pre-nup out. I had to sit down and be like, what does my life look like? like socially, what does my life look like regionally? Can I live in the city? Career-wise, I mean, like, financially was a really big one. And I had to really sift through a lot of things like, what's my priority? What isn't? And like, it took years to get the courage to finally say, I wanted to divorce. And trust me, I said it like a good, good, good jillion times. But of course,

it's like, you don't mean that. You're bluffing. You're full of it. But when I meant it, I motherfucker meant it. And it was a really quick proceeding from like the, when I said like, it's happening I like called uncle it was like from then on out it wasn't like one of those relationships where I was like let's try let's separate let's see it was like no we're done was there a moment that was the final straw

there were so many little moments that were like mini straws um I'm trying to think I because it's funny I don't know the in depth of your relationship but I know that this guy was not this like really fucked up person no he's really actually he's like great

He's super great. Like I talk about him on the show sometimes. I mean, listen, I'm sure he's like, fuck you, you say me things. But, like, clearly you had love for him. Like, you weren't stuck in, like, an abusive manipulative marriage.

No, like, I literally at times have been like, like, do you think we could, like, call a husband and ask if he wants to be married to lesbians? That would be fun. Because he's got, like, deep pockets. And we could do some money. But, no, I really, I really think he's a great guy.

I just think that we weren't right for each other. I always say this. I'll say it again. What made him happy, let me start here. What made me happy made him uncomfortable. Not miserable, but just like uncomfortable. Like certain circles of friends,

maybe like certain career decisions coming up in the future. My family a little bit, sometimes good, sometimes bad, made him uncomfortable. His life, what made him happy, made me legit miserable. So I can take on the responsibility. His penis, because I'm a lesbian, made me miserable.

No, no. He just like his circle of friends, his family, his world. It's just like, I was like, I will drink martini to 8 am. I will be totally Xanaxed out. Like, I will be a shell of my former self. And I had a couple of friends. My mom even said, like, you're like, one of my friends. This was so huge.

We're no longer friends anymore because I am a monster. But she said something very important to me. And she said to me, when we were in college, like, I would describe you like as like, oh my God, Taylor is like so fun and such a bright light. And she's like shiny and fun and like positive. And she's like, I feel like you're like a flicker of your former self. and I was like fuck also that's the kind of shit I don't know what happened the future with your friendship but that's the kind of shit

she put your friendship on the line by telling you that and honestly and that's not why I ended but it was kind of like a quid pro quo Clarice where she was there for me during like my dark times then when her dark times come around I was in the middle of a divorce and couldn't be there for her the way she was for me yeah which makes me the shit and honestly we've been talking kind of like here and there recently and I think it's time to like reignite that friendship because when I really like break it down and look back and reflect like she is a really good friend does she need a lot? but also she was in like we were in our like early 30s and it was like when your friends are your

family yes but sometimes you're they're not and when you have enough time and the emotions out of it you get to look back with like a more logical mindset like oh this is why that happened it's not because we were being evil to each other so I guess that that was like very pivotal for me actually when she said that it was like no shit she's like holding a mirror up to me and it's the truth and I have to have to do this when someone who knows you says like where's like the old Taylor, where's the old Hannah? And she had a mom who went through a really bad divorce. And she's like, it's like watching my mom all over again.

And her mom had such a struggle. So I was like, she was like, I can't watch this happen to somebody I love again. Were your friends supportive of, of it? So they were supportive going into it. Totally. Going into it, you mean like the dating phase? No, they were supportive like, oh, you mean of the divorce or the relationship? The relationship.

They were, um, they were into it. At first, but then when they saw, like, the new friends I was making, they were like, you're going to get chewed up and spit the fuck out. And they were like, it was just like, I can say, like, it was like gossip girl, the world that I was in. It really was. But loki, you thought you wanted it. Totally.

And they were like, you are New York. You are fabulous. You are these things. But like, you don't know these girls. We know these girls. Because they all grew up Trisid area, New Jersey, Connecticut, Greenwich, the whole thing. And they're like, Westchester. And they're like, these girls are brutal.

And I was like, you're just like these girls. you're like cool and fabulous they're like no it's different and then when i got in it in it i was like they were correct so they had already kind of like pre-warned me um but by that point i was like in a relationship and like living the life and very distracted by the superficial i and that's on me that's not on in wasbin that's on me dinner but it's ironic that those dinners trips and clubs is the lifestyle that ultimately you were like the people in it it didn't matter where you are because it's who you're with totally totally and like there were i mean like i said there's a million different reasons, right?

Like a million different paper cuts. Lady Gaga would say a million reasons. Give me a million reasons. Don't make me sing. Don't tell me, bitch. Honestly, best Ariana Grande impression I've ever. You guys, thank you so much for being here. I'm Ariana Grande.

I was engaged to be a Tametson. And I am jealous that he is engaged. Engaged. Take him to cut that part out. That sucks. No, no, no. I actually do. Tay cut it all out.

I do have tea that you're cutting this out too no oh go I do have tea like oh I think it actually came out but like he's it's confirmed like he's dating hooking up with Kim Kardashian yeah what is hooking up mean dry humping blowies oh andies you know all the above booty holes nowadays they're very into titty fuck yes they're very into booty licking your play the Genzies who knows what the fuck Jenzies are doing nostril jizzing yes yes yes little tick armpit tickle. Ooh, I love a little dick in the armpit. A little pussy shave. Oh, that's just what I have to do for myself. Anyway. I gave up on that a long, long time ago. But I do think it's interesting that you fell in love with this dude, but then you're not just...

Can I correct you? I loved a dude. We weren't in love. I wasn't at least on my end. And I don't think that he was in a place where he could be in love either. I think we thought it was. But I really do respect. him despite all the things I've said over the years but I really do and I really did and do love him

but he was not my person he was not my life partner he was not my soulmate but at one point you thought that no I actually didn't I I remember thinking I'm dating all these dickheads I keep attracting like maybe drug dealers I need to find a guy that's good on a mattress on the floor what the fuck and there's this baking soda everywhere and I just remember feeling another DJ. I got to start dating guys like that are like my dad or like that I can like can be responsible adults. And I was like my pickers off.

I need to go against my gut. And so I met him at a Hampton's nightclub and he was like cute. He smelled good. We had great convo. But I was like, nah. But then I was like, wait, your pickers off, you always go for the wrong guy. So when he asked me for a date, I was like, ah, it's free dinner. So I went and it was nice, nice, not like butterflies and like, you know,

earth shattering. It was nice. So I went on the date with him and then he did the thing, which a good guy does, which is like, I'm not going to play games. I like you. Let's go to a second date. And I was like, oh my God, that was ever not for me before me before. And so he really got, he caught me with the nice guy stuff. And again, not running game. Just be a good dude. You're like, he played games by not playing games. Like literally. He tracked me by being a person. By being straightforward. Damn it. So I was like, you know what? This is a good guy. This is exactly been asking Jesus Christ for. Manifesting. And Father, Son, Holy Spirit. Let's like give it a whirl. And so I did. And then he was like, yeah,

I mean, he whined and dined me, took me on trips, like really early on in the relationship. And I was like, he treats me like a princess. And that's what I am. And I'm soon to be a quaint. So anyway, we, um, I just kind of was like, I really like this guy. And this is a good thing. And this is like the sex and the singing life that I wanted to live in New York. Never thought would happen. And so I remember thinking to myself, like, I don't, he doesn't like make my stomach flip, but he's like a really good guy. And I think like, I'm loving him and will probably grow to fall in love with each other. This is an important part of the story. In college, I had a really good friend. Her name was Darnie. And she was from India, like, like from from India. And she was at

it's good college with me. And we became really close friends. And she was like, I honestly like, think I'm going to be here for another semester. And then I'm going to go to like BU or something. And I was like, why? She's like, because I am already, like, betrothed. Like, I haven't arranged marriage back home in India. And she's from, like, a super wealthy family. And so she's like, it's very normal. And she's like, I need to, like, sew my wild oats.

And, like, I was like, so interesting. So she's like, well, I mean, I want to, like, be wild now. But, like, when I go home and I get married, like, I'll have a lover on the side. And I was like, what? Like, yeah, so American, right? Like, that's not what Disney says is love. So she was like, no, that's just like, what's up? And she was like, my dad and mom are.

married it's like a business deal she has lovers he has lovers that's just how it is wait i didn't know this this is wild i can't speak for the entire yeah like you know community and like country of india but in her specific scenario and she was like but they have grown to love each other and it's a different kind of love than like lust love but like lust love is fleeting and so they've built like a life together safe trusting caring so i guess a part of me like took that with me and i was like okay so i guess like maybe I could grow, if they can grow into love, and it's arranged, I like this guy. And I picked him. You're like, this mansion would be perfect with a pool boy.

So I was like, I will get a her to him and have lesbian lovers on the side. You just have a harem of women with you all the time. You're like, these are my friends. Women supporting women. She's licking your pussy. And you're like, she's my friend. Jesus. Judgey, judgey.

Are you being jealous? You're so jealous. So I basically, you know, I mean, I think that there was someone that. going into it like we're not madly in love but i think that we can like grow to love each other and so did you think you'd cheat on him no never i mean cheating is not something that was like ever oh loud or okay it was like you cheat you're gone you cheat you get a divorce and also what people don't know about you or some do is that you i mean as a catholics sex is not always like it's very not important it's not important and something that they almost like look down upon like

it's you're slutty you're gross if you're doing it so i mean a hardcore catholics like that are literally married they aren't on birth control and every time they have sex they have a baby it's only for pro like if they're like i'm horny you horny if making a baby's not part of it like they're actually like not technically supposed to have sex it's not for pleasure it's for procreation and they don't masturbate i mean i don't know again i can't speak for the community but like i am very bad at masturbating you're the voice of the indian and the catholic community i really and the divorce community i really do not want to give those titles thank you very much Yeah, but so like I, I probably should have now at the age of them at, I'm like, oh, I could have seen that one coming from a million miles away.

But in my young brain, I was like, no, we're going to make it work. And then the wedding planning was a fucking nightmare. I fought a lot with his family. And then realized, too, that, like, he's so close to his family. Like, there was just no way that, like, I tried to make it work with them. And quite frankly, they probably tried their best from their version to try to make it work with me. But, like, we're both too stubborn. And it was, it was just, I was one of us.

was going to have to suffer to make the relationship worth. And that's not fair to either one of us. So that's why I also celebrate the divorce. It's like I chose happiness and I actually kind of chose it for him too. And like two days after I told him I wanted to divorce in therapy. And it was like this whole thing. I met with a lawyer before, yada, yada yada. I watched Sopranos.

I wasn't going to let him tell me a soprano me take all the good lawyers in all of New York City. So I mean, that's probably fiction and that was probably like an unnecessary thing for me to do. I think it's fun. It's a good story though. Thank you. But so at first he was like I'm blindsided and I was like,

we're in therapy because I wanted a divorce and our therapist was like well she actually said that from day one but then I thought it was a joke I thought we were doing a bit I thought it was sarcastic and then a couple days later he was like thank you for making the decision that didn't have the like courage to make

so that was like an affirmation it was very validating is the word I was looking for so I do think I did I did that for us and I'm sure he's way happier without me constantly fighting with his family and I'm sure his family's thrilled that I'm gone but it's man has the I mean I'm happy that I'm gone kind of sex as they say man has but they say humans have free will yes you can stay and fight for the marriage as they say like are you working on it are you working on it marriage is hard work so it's hard messaging that you're getting to then not be a quitter and make the right

decision like what how do you know the difference between marriage should be hard work versus this is not right marriage is hard work okay and i'm like i'm married now and it's a new marriage but we've been together for like six and a half years so like that's also hard work um that's a really intense question and a really really good question ask me again i've been recording for 15,000 hours today how do you tell a difference between this just we need to work harder at this marriage versus you have to give up when the only way to make your partner happy or your partner's world happy okay because he was such a people pleaser like it wasn't like I don't even feel like I divorced him I feel like I divorced his family and his world and his life you know what I mean and when you date

someone you can like pick and choose different parts of them but like once you're married and living with them and immersed in their life you're marrying their life yes and also proximity wise his family was like right here and sisters lived in the city that's another thing siblings we put too much focus on parents siblings live forever so if you don't get along with them good fucking luck and if there's no proximity of difference and where you live like

his friends were friends with them so when I'm fighting with them I'm like am I fighting with all of our friends it was just like too much and gang up and I also have a serious trigger with girls and groups of girls like that's like from like middle school so having three sisters and they really like they all two of them had really, I have very fond memories of two of them.

One of them I don't have any good memories of and that's just that. But like, it wasn't all bad all the time. You know what I mean? But it was just like when there were problems, I felt like I was against a pack versus like an individual and that's triggering as fuck to me. And like five years ago I'd be like, they gained up on me.

And now I'm like, no, that's a trigger for me. And I can like totally take responsibility for it. And if maybe I wasn't triggered by that, I could have stayed in it. But ultimately, like there were, I remember there was a family member who I had lunch with. after the like official separation moving towards divorce and she's like it's just too bad and I love this person I really do so saying this like I'm not trying to shit on her but she was like you know he's a great guy and I was like I know he's a great guy and she's like I just feel like it's too bad that you're so sensitive otherwise you could have like a great life and at first I was like what and then I realized okay you're in your 60s and you chose so and her and I were super close and I'm like me getting a divorce is triggering something in you so that statement is yeah it's very directly pointed at me that's gaslighting but I did I realize

it's not about me being sensitive ever stubbed your toe that shit fucking hurts it does but it's not about me being sensitive it's about me making the change me being brave enough to make a shift and and change the cycle probably triggered some questions within her about the decisions that she made so I think that she was like wow um wait she's getting out like should I have And it's like, no, I'm tough. I'm strong. I did the right thing. She's being sensitive and deciding to get out.

And if that's what she needs to tell herself in order to keep living her life, bless and believe, because honestly, I fucking worshiped and still do adore this person. And I don't want my decisions to make anybody, like, question their life choices. Well, everyone's advice is through their own lens of their experiences. Totally. But like, the fact that I could even see that in that moment was like, whoa, okay, therapy is working. But yeah, I mean, it was, it. it was scary it was empowering um it was painful it was i mean it was all the emotions but more so than

not like it was me putting myself first and i have never had that bravery in myself ever so to me it feels like um to me it feels like like a total win you know it's funny i don't think i ever asked you this question and i didn't even know that it was such a like positive thing it really was especially again in the moment i was like spitting nails yes but now in hindsight i'm like okay this was like it was all meant to be like i truly am a believer like in fate after the life that i've lived up to this point you know and like the universe will take care of you you just kind of have to like see the signs like listen to them and not fight too hard so that thing is like if a marriage is hard yeah marriage is hard but like my marriage was going to like my

friend said took away my shine so it's like this marriage is going to harm me like if I stay in this dynamic, it's going to hurt me long term. And once you're getting hurt by a relationship, again, that doesn't mean he was hurting me. It just means the scenario was and it wasn't working for me and my personality type. And quite frankly, yes, my sensitivities. I'm a very empathetic person. I can't just like brushing under the rug and be like, whatever. So for me, I was like, this is doing more damage than good.

And that's when you have to get out of a relationship. There's no rulebook to relationships or finding relationships. and obviously it's hard and I think especially in New York City there's a lot of good looking people and especially you charming easy to talk to you could talk to a fucking wall and look like you have chemistry with it thank you and I feel like I'd have trouble with dating because I would go on dates with another decent looking person and I'm like was this date date good or was I just really good a conversation and then you can get along for at least six months with a little dopamine with another good looking person and alcohol it's so fucking easy and sleep deprivation

Exactly. And it's not like you make a mistake and people get divorced, but it's like, it's actually so hard to pick someone long term because there's so many variables. Also age. For me, at least, age was huge. I feel like I did not know who I was. I was still like a carbon copy of like my mom. Who is now I know. I worship my mom. She's the best. I am not the bad. And my mom's like, damn. I tried to raise you to be me and I would pick the wrong path because I am so different from her. So it's like, I think there's a lot of that. too with parents it's like you want to mimic what your parents did because especially it looks good you're like oh my god i said one time when i was at serious do you know who rude jud is no he's great he was on um this i'm aging myself jenny jones i think it was like okay like springer type of let's yes yes and he had a really fucked up childhood and he has like all these books he's written about it one's called hyena the other one's called firefly no no no hummingbird hummingbird um hyena palmingbird great books it's like all these memoirs of his life and i remember one time he was telling me about like his mom was cheating on his dad and he was in the car and he

kind of remembers it like just like drugs and cheating and bad and I said to him on the air live my mom was listening and I meant it when I said but I was like that's so liberating and he was like what and I was like well when your parents are a disaster you've nowhere to go but up and my mom was so fucking insulted and she was like I like bent over backwards to make the perfect example for you guys to be a good parent I'm like no you're I'm grateful but like y'all make like you're like you set the bar so high you didn't mean to make me feel like a loser but i do like dad's hot mom's hot dad went to harvard mom went to boston college like dad's a doctor do you know my dad's doctor but like all these things and it's like and they have a great marriage no as an adult i now see like where they're strong and where

they're not but like in your 20s you just see they're on a pedestal they're gods and anything that isn't what they did is kind of like wrong or not good enough yeah so i definitely felt like i i think that Actually, if you come from a broken home, you actually may be at an advantage because you may be more on your own path being like, you know what? I'm not going to do what they did. I'm going to like forge me a path. That's the thing is like, I think the sooner you can realize that you are an individual and you're not like your sister or your brother or your parents or your friends, the faster you are on a track to finding you are. And there's people who are in their 50, 60, 70s, 80s, 80s, on their deathbeds that have not done this work, you know? Or still trying to like hope their parents are impressed by them or proud at them.

And it goes both ways where when you're, when you have a fucked up childhood, I think you also deep down are scared that you are your mom or your dad. Well, then there's that too. So maybe I shouldn't say it's an advantage, but I can say it's a different experience. Grass is always greener. How about that? Exactly. How about them apples, baby boo?

So you, and I also feel like when bad stuff happens, like a divorce and stuff, I'm learning, like, doors closed, others open, the universe. But there's also something beautiful in like the chaos of something. like when you break something that's where the best inventions are made that's where creativity happens in the discomfort like breaking a bone

the growth has to happen it has to change growing pains are real you're in pain because you are growing physically the universe loves you I'm like well the universe is kicking my damn ass as they say on TikTok the universe got hands the universe has hands

I'm telling you though the universe like if the universe is kicking the shit out of you it does love you because it's challenging you to grow and be better and evolve. So I look at my divorce positively. I actually do. I mean, listen, I'm human.

Of course, every now and then, I'm like, I feel like, ugh, I'm divorced. And I think about all the things that I maybe said or did and that I'm not proud of. But ultimately, I think it was a good thing because it was, like I said, the first time I ever put myself first and was like, my happiness is the most important thing.

Well, you basically just changed the rules of your life. And I think that's super important because I've been working with what is success, to you you know so hard and you can have an idea of it you can change it and that ultimately leads to as someone who whenever I was successful people loved me more it equated happiness yes so I'm currently working on that whole thing of like handling losing and still loving yourself or like making it not even a loss and understanding it as a growth yes and understanding that you can be happy if you have the perspective of

happiness. We're going real deep right now. Here's the thing. Okay, so people love somebody successful, right? In this country we love to support the rise but then we love more than the rise to rip you fucking down, right? But I will say that the rip down

like there is always an opportunity in this country for the rebuild and that's what do they love you and fucking love you. They love it. And we're not even talking like in the public eye. I'm talking about like like a person who's private like my dad always talked about like it's like bouncing a ball the ball comes back up always always and it comes back higher when you bounce it unless you freak out when the ball's down you stab it with a spork and then it's just like on the ground sad like a sack of empty

balls unless you throw the ball into sand you know that's true and i think that when you're getting your ass kicked it's a mirror for you to see things that you didn't want to see yep you know what i mean and face parts of yourself that you'd been really good at suppressing, but you weren't actually happy with it. You were tolerating it. Yeah, I made the decisions to get into that marriage. Yeah. And then I realized, oh, wait, these aren't the things that make me happy.

If you really want to elevate it and break it down, it wasn't his fault and it wasn't even his fucking family's fault. It was my fault for being drawn to things that I thought I wanted that I actually didn't value at all. Well, you knew that you saw things. I still like money. I want to be clear. You grew up.

When your family had money, it was considered success and nice. Yeah. So you immediately saw that and you were like, well, green light. Yeah. Green light. Squid game green light. And even, and love wasn't making sense to you. But that language made fucking sense.

When you put the check on the table, you were like, oh, this feels like home a little. Yep. This feels nice. But there was a time where I was, we had just bought a $2.5 million apartment in Tribeca, okay? I was like 31. And I didn't buy it. He did. Technically his dad did.

Okay. So, but I remember, like, I was like, we have a mansion apartment. But I actually, when we walked in, because we bought it when it was in construction. So we just saw like the rendering stuff. But we didn't actually see like it in, we spent $2.5 million. So we hadn't even seen. Can you believe? That is some rich people shit.

That's a rich people's shit. So when we opened the door and finally saw it after construction, it was done, the whole building by the way um we're like walking through scaffold we're like ooh ah like what and i was like i don't like get in my mind like this is it like can't we buy an island for 2.5 million and he was like looked me down in the face and he goes are you disappointed and i was like no but i was and trust me it was a spectacular place you go to my youtube you can see it i did a home tour um it was spectacular but like it just like it wasn't you it didn't fill the void and I thought it would right and that's on me oh my god well back to me with my own issues of success I will be like okay I need something else to fix this void and now something good will happen to me and I'll be like wait it I feel the same it's because we're broken everybody is though but it's because what we've been taught success money men women love you got to heal the void I was recently talking it's you on a podcast that like decenter those things from your life as like what you need to chase like

I'm telling a lot of like straight women decentering men from your life how that's like the goal that's the reach that's the end game ask me about that honey yeah and you fucking nailed it and we're like oh this is my nightmare I'm gonna be a late in life lesbian well I will say this so I was gonna say the first the most important thing I ever did in my life to like honor my happiness and like what mattered to me was getting a divorce a choice made for me but actually that's not true that was the second bravest decision i made in my life the number one bravest decision was saying i'm in love with the woman and i'm going to pursue this and nobody can stop me from being with this person that i love that was this scary gang and divorce

was scary getting coming out as gay fucking terrifying when did you come out to yourself so we got divorced or i told him i wanted to divorce i told him i wanted to divorce in February right around my birthday and then our divorce was finalized like in July of like that same calendar year it was very quick and this one this lesbian seductress medusa her and I were just friends but then I was like let's make a when I was drunk and she was like zero chance you're straight and like I don't I don't do that when you were out drunk I never made out with a girl ever ever ever I made out with one of my friends one time in Ithaca for pita pit because we were starving and poor Peter bit right

right now so but that was it legit the only time I made out with a girl and trust me and girls were interested but I was like that's for sinners but do you think that they had lesbian dar for you like they could tell that you might probably I like I always thought I had good good gay dar no no I did not because I didn't even know my ass was gay until I was in like I'm hearing a beeping sound I don't know where it's coming from oh my god it's the flowers they're gay it's in the computer um but i definitely um i would say so we started to like whatever i said i wanted to make out she said no i felt rejected what have you and then like not that long after she was like i changed my mind i want to make out

and i was like okay fine so we were like kind of hooking up but i just that was the risk on her part because she could have gotten like played by you well that was her thing she was like uh you're in the middle of a separation well you're separated and getting a divorce and you're straight and like I like lose interest immediately and also like I don't want to get played so she rejected me which that made me want it's more but no I really was just like fine fine fine but you kept thinking about her well I did but I but I really just like I just wanted to kiss like that was it like vaginas so thank you like let's just make out like I thought it'd be fun and I guess she picked up on those vibes but then finally she was like you know what changed your mind I had

to crush you since the day I met you but you were off limit so and because you were married and straight but let's just like do the damn thing but she was like just because there's 700 goalies doesn't mean I can't score but the thing was though it was like well then we started to like make out and I was like that's fun this is incredible the best first kiss of my entire life but then it was like wait I'm gonna have to like lick your vagina wait so then I was like we're 13 again okay yeah your bitch is moving at a snail's pace yeah and I was a movie I was scared I really should write a book and make it a movie this is a full movie and I'm like loki turned on I mean the first kiss was so hot we were like together and we were um at like a restaurant and

teach this is like when i first lick does his butthole i was like i don't know what to do my favorite thing in the world my favorite thing in the world that you looked at his bottle sorry i interrupted you i got distracted my but holes when i get turned on all i can do is think of licking but holes so basically i was like we need to make out finally and she was like okay yes but then she wouldn't kiss me she would just like like breathe on me and like move her face really close to my but not she's like Christian gray I literally and like but but not now I'm getting horny it's like never happened my annual horny moment and then we were like in an Uber and like she still wouldn't kiss me but was like all up in my fucking shit and then we was testing her ass a little

too probably and we go back to the apartment her apartment and we were like just ravenous it was the most and you had butterflies oh my god it was like next level and so but i but i was like me but that's it you know and i don't even remember from there she's right here do we have sex like really right away fuck i'm such a whore yeah you're you're a ho um real bad catholic i guess i jumped her bones she doesn't have bones i jumped her labias she has bones she doesn't have one she doesn't have one bone but anyway did any point did you get scared like oh no I'm gay um no or was it like I was like I'm a divorce day and I've never done what I want to do and I'm just gonna do it true experiment true but then she was kind of like okay so like we're together now right and I was like

oh shit this lesbian stereotype is true and I lied because I was like totally but in my mind I'm like can't tell my friends and my parents in my job like nah no no we're just gonna like do this and I'm just going to indulge myself because I never sexually indulge myself and I was like it will you know run its course and then my mom fucking called me out like months later I was home visiting she picked me up the airport and she was like you're spending a lot of time with that lesbian friend of yours and I was like she has a name her name is Taylor and my mom was like are you in love with her like that my mom's driving and I'm like moms are wild and I'm like I'm in my 30s mid 30s I'm gonna lie to my mommy and I was like yeah I'm in love with her

my mom was like lost her fucking damn mind now my mom's story and I was like and I was like that's fine live your life and I love my mom so much and she's awesome my parents hosted our wedding so like my parents are fucking dope and amazing but it's also important for people to tell their stories because coming out it's not like it's not either we knew all along or it's like get out and pray the gay away yes there's a more middle ground that's like wait I'm like very liberal but like not in my backyard like no you're not you've been straight your whole life and it takes a second and my like advice to people is if you are in the situation or you're going to be like give your parents time when they ask her when you feel comfortable

tell them but like don't be shocked when you're like liberal open-minded parents like act insane and just know that like you just have to give them time to kind of let it marinate because think about how long it took you to even get to that point yeah especially when you were married to a man but how much were you battling like your idea because i noticed up until recently i don't even know what you do now you don't label yourself i know which is honestly so beautiful in a place where like everyone's trying to like find a label and like because i mean everyone wants to put something in a box but i've never known you interesting choice of words you homophore hey that's the intro

i um no i mean i i i think if someone's like you're lesbian i I'm like, yeah, sure. I think if I'm being honest, I'm probably more bisexual, but I don't like. When you walk into a room. Look at her face. She's like, yeah, Tay is rolling her eyes at Tay. I'm just, Tay, you're probably, Taylor is bisexual. She's attracted whenever, whenever, when anyone's like, who's like your celebrity person,

she's like, Zach Efron. Well, like Ephron. He's a lesbian. He's a lesbian. He's a lesbian. Do you think Justin Bieber's hot sometimes? Oh, the hottest. Yeah, that's his number two.

Yeah. Justin Bieber is a lesbian icon. Do you, when you walk into a room, who do you notice as like, ooh, I want to talk to them like pre-day? Men. Same. So, see, we're both bisexuals. There you go.

No, no, no. But like, Tay doesn't want the dick. And actually, nor do I. So, yes, we are quite definitely lesbians. So you don't find yourself flirting with any other women. Or, like, wanting their attention. No, if I were, if she has to work. How about this?

If she had to ever worry about anybody, it would probably be a man over a woman. I just, but I'm a late in lifer. I don't know. I mean, I don't want to talk about that. You guys ever ever? Have you ever had a threesome? No.

You're so fun. I love when you turn into a 12 year old. Like I'm like, kiss and you're like, ew! No, I don't. Would you cover your eyes when people kiss to movies? No. Yeah, you didn't. I am not good at sharing and very jealous.

so I do not want to threesome. I don't want to share her with anybody. And also, no one else, aside from her, is allowed to see my naked body. Do you get jealous more of guys flirting with her or girls flirting? Definitely, I'm more threatened by girls. Like, we have friends who are lesbians,

but I'm always like, I've got one eye on you, Darren Carp. Well, Darren Carp is a hoe. Total ho. I know, I really... Derren Carp and I... Daren Carp, I'm like, she's going to fuck me. If I, like, if I just lose focus for a second,

I'm going to marry Derry Carp. Like, we have... We have friends who are lesbians, but, like, I definitely am more, like, I'll have talks with her. Like, if you leave me for one of them. And she's like, hey, crazy. Whereas if we're around straight guys, I would never be like, don't you even think about it. It's almost fun. Like, let her, I think it's hot when someone wants to fuck does.

I am not. Like, you don't think it's hot when a guy's all over her? I am, no, girl, I gone to a fight with her at Andy Cohen's, gayest of the gay. Like pool party this past summer. How could they even let you guys in? Darren. Because she was talking to a gay man who was there with his lover. Also a gay man.

It could not like name the least threatening scenario in the world. Guess is still got to tell us. Me. I was still like, fuck him. He thinks. You know what it is? I'm deeply insecure. So I think everybody looks at me and Tane.

They're like, ew, what's Taylor Donahy doing with Taylor Stracker? She's gross. And so for me, it's less about trust. I see you too and I go oh my god they're perfect together in my mind I always thought that like a blanche booth brunette I always like thought that like it should be two people who look different but are both hot you know what I mean did you just call me hot I think you're gorgeous I'm not hot right now you do look great is that a camera on us no it's not it's just good light I feel why lighting it's not you sorry never mind why is their lighting because she's setting up for

production tomorrow why am I telling you what your own wife is doing because I was insecure that I'm on camera because that goes perfectly no no no I'm I that wasn't like me trying to like start a bit yeah I'm genuine like I actually thought for the last 20 minutes we were on camera so I've been like moving my hair around and moving my body you cannot you can not you can not do reality TV I'm telling you I am so insecure so no so me getting jealous has nothing to do with her and honestly has very little to do with anybody else it has to do with me compared to your ex does she make you feel beautiful oh my god every single day like I'm like I like something is mentally wrong with you no like you guys are so fucking

cute together are your love language is the same no my love language is communication okay verbal communication same as you can which she would rather like put a drill bit in her head she's said four words since I've been here but I understand everything she's feeling the whole time it's a crazy experience her love language is touch so she's very like sexual and sexual and I'm actually that's like where I fall short. So little... Is Tay Irish?

Yes. Irish, it's good that she's good with touching because like Irish people sometimes aren't... You mean Des? Yeah. I mean, he's, he's better, but stereotyping Irish culture versus like Italian culture, which we like to do in New York is like Italian to like kiss, kiss, kiss, love, love.

Touch and touch. Where Irish people are like hilarious, funny storytellers. The emotion and the affection they're not always great with. See, the thing is. I'm incredibly affectionate, but, like, I'm not hypersexual. And, like, I hope I'm not upsetting to her. She's, like, sitting right here. But, like, it's not that I don't want her.

I just like... It's your own insecurities. It's so my own stuff. And so bless her for being patient. But, like, we definitely have different love languages. Do you ever, I joke about, like, cuddling, how cuddling's fucked up? Do you ever, like, have someone put their hand on a part of your body that you don't love? And even though they're being so loving and beautiful and connecting with you,

you can't enjoy it because you're like, why are you touching that? every day of my life she touched my stomach i'm like stop and then she like she calls my what do you call my armpits chuck cakes lucky charms because they're chubby my my armpits are not convex they're concave no switch it they're not concave they don't go in they go out they're like little like um knee pads my armpits you want to see it they sound powerful i kind of do no i'm sorry if you're gonna offer i wasn't going to say no i'll let you touch it through my sweatshirt okay it's like padding see yeah yeah i gain way to my fucking armpits people honestly sounds amazing if it just went there she loves it though but i'm like why are you trying to ruin my soul but i but that's

another example of like how you have to be a certain level of comfortable with yourself to even let anyone in you know what's wild is i don't know how i found myself here given how much i hate myself and how insecure i am for real but you had to fucking love yourself to get out of the marriage thank you So I think there was like one, there was like a, for the first one in my life, I was like, I love me. And it was to get out of the divorce. And then the second bout was when I was like, I love this woman. I will do anything to be with her. And that was me loving me again and believing in us.

I found a loophole somehow. But I do think the way you love yourself is a light that Tay sees. Yeah. Like she's a mirror. And I feel like she admires the strength you have to do everything that makes you you, even the things that embarrass you. Like you're mirrors for each other. Yes. And I think she is literally a mirror for your light.

Bethos is our love language. Oh my God. I'm obsessed. For people who don't know what Bethos means. Well, it's a made-up word. But it basically means like, that's what it means. That noise.

Like, hey, if you see somebody, like, fall in the street, you're feeling Bethos for them. Yes. When you fall, you feel Bethos for yourself. And do you guys feel Bethos at the same time when life happens? I don't know. I think Tegis feels Bethos for me and I feel Bathos for me. we bond over my baby apopathy oh my god that's how does is with me I mean he just calls me

stupid this is why you're friends no I'm the stupid we constantly were spazes a yes we totally embarrass ourselves constantly yes but we like ourselves enough to laugh at it and surprisingly like it like it and then they like it I think it's because we can laugh it off like I said on my radio show that or whatever it's called the daily show on patreon the Taylor Shreker show I thought so I was talking to Sean Kilby we both love and I was like just pass the paton and he's all like what did you say and i was like past the paton and he's like you're joking right and i'm like no for real it's it's on at the taylor trucker show if you go look at it and if you go look fucking follow but like i legit 38 years of my life thought don't judge me for my age

i thought it was past the pupton it's bub ton and my face is so genuine like but the thing is i immediately laughed and there's a lot of people that that they would crumble they'd be like i'm stupid everyone knows I'm stupid so I guess I like myself enough to be like oh girl you're flawed who gives a fuck and that's attractive I guess and when you find someone that gives you the space to make mistakes and stuff and you're not walking on eggshells and you feel like you then you feel like you can grow with them then you feel like you can just exist in a in a like non-judgmental place especially when you're in a world that has judged you so harshly in so many ways it's almost like Tay is the safe space of just like she doesn't judge me except for like a handful of things but like those are things that like will long term kill me so she's absolutely right judging me but like she really like the things you know how about this the things that I judge myself over for years that are so stupid she never judges me for and like I've learned to love myself more through her eyes which again is fucked up I know because like you should get there on your own but like that's not my journey she's a mirror and she's also not changing

you she's literally showing you a perspective that your mind wasn't seeing that's true that happiness perspective we're talking about like what success is you you're not with a man you're not with a guy in a $2.5 million mansion that you don't like certainly not she's telling you and showing you how this is happiness it is now I will say our apartment is very nice it is it is um next level but it's you it's you and we're renters but i do get worried i'm like will we be this happy when we don't live in this apartment anymore my well you know what we talked about the beginning i love a full circle moment's not where you are it's who you're with okay and my final question for you oh shit so i just forget it no i'm remembering oh yeah i do this shit all the time i literally went on this pot being like this is what i want

to ask um don't fuck it up i already fucked it up were you scared to be married again yes really scared more than i let myself even like think about because i could see you being like look i did it already we know we love each other we don't need the documents and the ring yeah i was and like we got engage. I knew engagement was going to happen because like who doesn't want pretty jewelry but like I we got engaged in November of 2020 and then we were married mid end of August 2021. That's fast

as fuck. And I was like why are we rushing this? What are we doing? But like I again love her more than like my fear so that like kind of and that's a thing that's that's an important element to a relationship too is like I loved myself way more when I was married to husband period end of story and I think probably him too because if he loved me more we would have made more concessions for each other but we didn't it was like my life his life like what the fuck her I'll move mountains for this bitch so it's like yeah I'm uncomfortable yeah like I'm scared

of like you know what's to come I was like all fixated on getting a pre-up even though my parents were like zero dollars like get over yourself but like all these different things that were like definitely I was more triggered than I think I knew or expected to be from my first marriage but like love just like propelled me forward that's the gayest thing I've ever said gay I do think though it's it's another thing of reading fear like is fear just your natural body of like a little anxiety and fear is something that just happens but you have to overlook it or is fear that red flag being like bitch don't do this right right right so I was is it butterflies or anxiety you never know I was married I got a divorce and that was scary but I had

the courage to do it then I was fearful of getting married again you know because I've been married before and also wow getting married to a woman you are a lesbian even if you think you're not you are to everyone um so it was like and also it was like well once I go down this path like if we because like I'm not sexually attracted to other women so if we forgot god forbid weren't to work at weren't to work out it's like I'm back on the singles market being like I married a woman I was married true man. Well, I think I like men. Who's what I did? That's called, that is a good book. That's a good reality show. Like, just bank that. That's how I think. I'm like, great content. We got great content from that.

But it scares me. And so I think like being, like, digging a woman fine. It's like, she had an experimental seven years. But it's like, but being married, it's like, oh, no, but you're a lesbian, right? So it's like, now I'm forever in that category. So which, quite frankly, it's so weird to talk about because it's like, I never see my life without her. Like, I legit don't. But, like, if we weren't to be together, I don't know, like, would I date men? Would I date women? Would I just date this plant over here? Probably the plant.

Would I just give up? But it definitely, like, being married to me also outside of my fears of marriage, from one of experience, was like, you are now really solidifying. Like you said, I don't label myself. But getting married to a woman, like, yeah, that's kind of a solidification. Is that a word? Of kind of like your sexual orientation. And I, you know.

I feel like my personally think I think that things are people are realizing that everything's a spectrum and that's the thing and that's the thing where we're in these like categories and it's like I think like I'm definitely fluid I think yes the term is sometimes like I just see you on the spectrum sexual you know like I fall in love with the person but society doesn't understand that and I think they will and I think a lot of things are changing that but I also do but not all of society I understood people that were always like I fall in love with people's souls i was like oh my god what is it like to not be vapid but it's not that you are very vapid like and tay's hot and like you wouldn't be with like a disgusting

horrible human but i do only hot people you know but they can be disgusting on the inside as long as they're haunting outside so it matters can actually be horrible tall men can be very unkind i have learned that but i do think that it's the spectrum where i just see you as like you love tay you're te sexual i always i've said that i'm tay sexual Oh my God, that's the name of your book. It should be. But, like, I'm so madly in love with her, but it just, you know. Wait.

But again, that love is what propelled me forward to do something that maybe I was scared to do. But, like, that's the thing is, when fear hits you and you're, like, motivated by positivity, that you know you're heading the right direction, when you are making decisions because it's fear-based and you're feeling like it could, like, make you feel worse. You are right. That's when you know it's bad. You did not get married out of fear. Fear was, like, the only thing.

the way of it. But if you're making decisions because fear is forcing you, that's negative. Exactly. You nailed it. Thank you. I is a genius sometimes. My mind is blown. Let's clap our labias because Taylor Strucker. This was our three year anniversary. By the way, happy anniversary. Thank you. I'm so proud of you. I knew it. I've never done anything for three years. Scones and all baby. I knew it. I went to different schools every two years. I guess I was constant for four years, but I was drunk a lot of the time. And then,

even my relationship, I've been with Des for like a year and a half. How does? I miss him. He misses you. He's great. We have to get together. We'll get together.

But, um, Tay, where can people follow you, listen to you? Give them the goods. Okay. So, please follow me on Instagram at Taylor Stracker. T-A-L-R-S-T-E-K-E-R.

Do you want people to? Please, I'm desperate. Come on. Give me a phone. Also, uh, I have a podcast. It's free. it's called Taste of Taylor It's with Dear Media

So good New episodes come out Every single Thursday It's great, great, great I do interviews And then there is a daily show On Patreon Patreon, patreon.com

Slash the Taylor Shucker show And that's daily content Two hours Commercial free It's fire It's amazing I mean everything I do is fire So just like go wherever

Tickles your fancy Yes And I started on that show And I'll be back I'm going to do episodes again For real? Yeah I'll do some episodes for sure Oh that would make me so happy

I would love to do that You're going to come back on Tate's Taylor very soon. Yes. And I think you guys should also listen to our past episodes, maybe even the first episode, and DM us and tell us the difference of we've both gone through a lot since then. Yeah, we're like way better people now. We're just like wise and smart and realizing things. So thanks so much for coming to hell, guys.

And I'll talk to you later. Cheers to another three years. Bye. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.