Berner Phone - Things You Used To Judge People For

Episode Date: August 3, 2026

Today Des reacts to things you used to judge people for but don't anymore, like being a Karen, children crying in public, and counting a pregnancy in weeks.   Call [phone] to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: [phone]   FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5   FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/   Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com

Hi, it's Hannah Burner. And Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the burner phone. If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast. Hello, our little dialers. Welcome back to Burn a Phone. Another week. Honestly, Nicole, who is also with us, I think last week's episode, it generated the most heat.

I feel like in a while. I don't know what it is about these words. Do you want to know what the biggest controversy was? Do you have any idea? The biggest controversy. It was that this is something we've all learned now, that in Ireland and the UK, they spell aluminium differently. So this great, that was last week.

We didn't talk about this last week, right? No. Yeah. So I never knew this. And funny is, I was raised with one spelling and changed to another and didn't even realize. Realize. But it's, it's spelled differently in Ireland and the UK than American. What's the difference?

They spell it within I. There's an extra syllable in the spelling. Like, the way you spell it as an American is not the same as the way. we spell it on the other side of the Atlantic. So nobody was wrong and nobody was right. Wow. You know, other than perhaps you could argue. By the way, the person who sent it in message me to be like,

I'm sorry, I didn't know it was a different spelling. This is not a contrary. This is not a controversy. Yeah. Anyway, so it's not just a different pronunciation. It's a different spelling. I wonder how many times that happens where it's not just the pronunciation, it's the spelling. I have to say it's not a debate.

It doesn't matter. But I would say when talking about like chemicals and elements, I feel like the I am is more akin to that world than um. I am. Yeah, I think that's valid. Aluminium, like sodium, you know. Yeah. I just think of like aluminum. foil. Like, I'm not even thinking about the real element, so that makes total sense.

Well, it was quite funny to me when I moved to Ireland first, and people were like, can you get me the aluminium foil? And I'd be like, what? The aluminium? What the hell is going on here? It's just like, because the Irish music or something, it's like, and the aluminium, and the aluminium. But, but, uh, no. Yeah, so it's a different spelling. Someone left another interesting. I mean, the dialers are really tapped into like, what's the word to describe knowledge of words? Is it etymology or what is the word? Yeah. Edomology is the origin of words. They're really tapped into this kind of stuff because Abby left a comment on Spotify canceled with one L comes from the time of paying per letter in

publishing and they lost an L to save a buck. I didn't know that. I didn't know that either. Is this a fact? Did you Google? Did you, did you fact check that? Or did you just trust Spotify? Abby, you're getting called out. Abby, I am not going to. you out. I'm actually just making sure I'm just, we're just having a live fact check here. If I can Nicole Snopes lines. I believe everything I see. Oh, did I tell you this? So speaking like how easily I like fall for stuff, there was a tornado warning in New York City last week. Yes. And somebody posted a picture of a tornado.

Oh, I saw that picture. And I fully believed it was real. And I sent it to multiple people. And they were like, dude, this is such a bad look. Like, this is clearly AI. I was like, what? Come on, Snoopy. Wait, is this the same thing?

I think it also doesn't matter. I don't know. Well, now I feel like I need to defend Abby. No, there's no, Abby is not on the hat seat here. We're just verified. Abby. There's no, like, the way if you say defend Abby, it sounds like we're coming for Abby, we're verifying

Abby. It sounds like the beginning of a series of books. Like, she was, she was fresh out of college and she wasn't sure who she was. Verifying Abby, starting now on Hulu. Let's move on. Okay, let's move on. But no, listen, uh, the aluminum thing

has been established. There was lot of other great, there was great feedback. The Spotify comments just came back to life on this episode. Um, and, uh, there's other things that have come up. There might be, uh, that we might do one or two. How many playouts did you do? How many extras did we use? Well, we skip that because we, we, we were going to do another episode full of them? Oh, okay. Do you, do you have any, uh, do you have any favorites from last week? Um, that we didn't get to? Yeah. Well, anyway, while you're looking that up, you were asking me before we went on air, and I said, oh, we might as well talk about this on air. So I was doing a new material show last night in Miami.

And, you know, Miami crowds, they get a little criticism. You know, maybe people, Miami, a lot of people are very judgmental about Miami in general. I don't know if you found this. and comedians are judgmental of Miami crowds. Like it's, because Miami, let's face it, it's a bit of a microclimate, you know, and it's not, sorry, microclimate, I meant more like a metaphor. It's a unique cultural entity. And even I can be,

so I was taking on that judgment and I was stressed about working on new bits in Miami where the crowds can be, you know, people think they're a bit flippant. I don't know how to describe it. Anyway, needless to say, last night's show was a great debunker of any of these judgments. Because honestly, it was one of the best crowds I've performed to in a long time.

And I got a standing ovation. Now, I'm not saying this as a boast. I'm just saying that, like, when you're working on a new show and you're worried about it, and then at the end of the show, you get a standing ovation. That is like one of the greatest feelings in comedy. Now, I don't actually think it was standing ovation worthy, but I think what happens is, no, but it really wasn't because it was most. energy because people know I'm like a high energy act but when I'm working on new bits

it's that times 10 because I'm like trying to get these bits over the line with pure force of will because I don't actually have the faith I don't have the faith in the words so I lean hard on my performance skills you know with they're a constant you know the new material is irrelevant the performance skills are just there as a as a foundation stone whereas the words are like I'm not sure anyway long story short fucking crowd was amazing. Now, there is something fun about the looseness of not having the faith in the words, so you just keep fucking around or trying to find little funny outlets or off-ramps on all these different things you're talking about. Needless to say, it all worked great. So thanks to the Miami

crowd. And for anyone that's looking, the live show, it's called Gray Area. And it really has started to take shape. But what I will say, it seems to, I got a standing ovation last night, but like, it's definitely, I'm going to say the vibe is maybe a little more. irritated? If somebody was to say, what was different to the last year? It's like, he just seems a little more irked. He's, you know, he's irritated. He's a little, you know, he's complaining. So anyway, I was worried about that, you know, throughout the show. It's like getting a bit intense, but they seem to really go for it. So I think that's because everyone's had enough of the bullshit, you know, that's the vibe. So if you've had enough of the bullshit, what bullshit do you say?

Well, it's whatever bullshit you're sick of. You come and I'll see if I can slay it. Anyway, needless to say, it was a good show. So did you find what you were looking for? Let's just play one more. For all times' sake, let's play one more. And then we'll move on to things you used to judge people for that you don't, which is this week's prompt.

Hi, Desmond, Nicole. I'm calling in because I'm listening to the most recent episode of Burnaphone. And you'll just mention next week's prompt about words that people pronounce wrong. and I have one that I need to say. And it's when people say frustrated instead of frustrated, like they put the U before the R and I know you know what I'm talking about. And it drives me absolutely insane. So that is what I had to say.

And I hope you have a great day. Love y'all. Bye. Yeah, interesting. Frustrated. Yeah. Have you noticed that one before? So this one actually was, I don't know if you remember during the episode.

but I was like, somebody triggered me in some way. I was like, oh, my God, I'm remembering my assistant coach in college used to say some word wrong. I don't remember what it was, but it used to drive us crazy. And it was always in very serious situations. And it was frustrated. Yeah. Oh, my God. So we found it.

Yeah. And I texted one of my teammates. And I was like, what did she used to say? Like, what was that word? Because I couldn't remember. And then right after I was like, oh, it was frustrated. But it was what. It was whenever it was like, you know, it was always so serious and emotional and like in the middle of a game.

And she would say she was frustrated. And we'd be like, oh my God. Like it's just like, it's always used in a moment where it's like really intense. Yeah, because that's a strong word. Like if you're expressing frustration and somebody saying frustration, although it is hard to hear it though. It's funny that you could, you were really hearing it. I'm frustrated. Well, it's like that thing.

I think we talked about this last time too. Like once, if you're mad at it's. someone whenever they breathe, you're like, shut the fuck. Like every little thing. Once you're aware of it. Then it's like amplified. So frustrated was certainly amplified for us in those moments. So, so, so, uh, the, it's a couple of things I want to say before we start.

This week's prompt was, uh, things that, uh, you used to judge people for that you don't need more. But since it's working well with the prompts going out in the episode. And again, I'm going to give a shout out to Kwabi K, K-W-A-B-E dot K on TikTok. because he's done these series of icebreakers, which have been very beneficial for ideas, for barnafone prompts. So check his TikTok out.

I want to make sure he gets the credit. I think this is a fun one, even though I think we've done something similar to this in the past, but what's something that your family does that you thought was universal but definitely isn't? We definitely haven't done that in your era, right? Nicole? Yeah, I think it's a fun one.

What's something your family does that you thought was universal? but definitely isn't. So that'll be for next week. And don't forget, it's 9175-1-2-1-7-58. Can you not laugh when I say the number? Why is it always so funny? I'm smiling supportably.

No, because you lock in so hard on it, and it really, it really tickles me, but I'm also proud. 9175-1-2-8 or WhatsApp voice note on WhatsApp plus 1, 646, 423-2-3-70-20. So before we start, I know that we keep, I keep delaying. I need to discuss something. This could be controversial. And I don't want to come across as fat shaming in any way, which I know that when a sentence begins that way, you're like, oh, fuck, this is going to be problematic. So I'm not fat shaming, okay, but I had a situation yesterday. And I, I, what are you laughing at?

What are you laughing at? I'm not fat shaming, but I have. I had a situation yesterday. It's just such a funny way to start. No, because I didn't, I didn't know how to react. No, I wasn't, I didn't react, basically, because I didn't want to offend anybody. But I was also in a situation where like, this is fucking difficult, right? So I was flying to, from Islip Airport to Miami, well, to Fort Lauderdale.

and I was in the aisle and the guy in the middle seat was a large man, like a very large man. And I'll admit it, okay, I'm just going to out myself. When I saw that he was the guy that was going into that seat upon arrival, I was like, fuck. You know, I just was like, not ideal, you know, because I'm not exactly tiny, right? So I really, you know, I don't want like a large. guy next to me, but, you know, fine. But I didn't realize until he sat down, like, how wide this man was to the point where, like, he was minimum, like, 20% over the line. Just through no fault of

his own, I'm not going to get into his lifestyle choices. But in terms of this situation, he wasn't like being greedy with the space. He just, he was that wide. So for me to not touch him, I had to almost like lean, like, I was literally leaning like towards the. And I, so I know people aren't watching, but I was holding my arm in like this. But this guy's shoulder was like on my shoulder, the entire flight. And I mean, honestly, I was like a little uncomfortable because it was just like, it's not ideal. know this man, you know? And as cushiony as he was, I wasn't about to use him as a fucking pillow,

you know? So basically, I'm putting it out to the dialers because what do you do in this situation? I'm not going to get into like, they should buy two seats. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not interested in the controversy of it. I'm interested in the etiquette of like, what do you do? No, of course I didn't say anything. And I literally did everything in my power to not make this man uncomfortable because I'm a good person. But on the other side, I was kind of like, but like, I'm, I don't mind being uncomfortable for two and a half hours, you know, to make this guy not be uncomfortable. But also, like, what are you supposed to do in that situation?

What do you, what do you think? I don't know. That's tough. I mean, for me, I am lucky in that I'm 4-Eleven. So oftentimes I take up a very small amount of space. but people will take advantage of that. Like specifically men. So like it's not really a size thing, but like everything, I'm an aisle seat girl these days.

Me, I'm an aisle seat guy. So I like to get up. I'll see a guy. I'll see my knees out. You know, everybody, everybody's got their opinions on the better seat. But I just want to tell everybody that's not an aisle seat person that you're wrong. Just so you know, you're wrong. You think you're a window, you think the window seats the way to go.

And I get it. You want to sleep. You know, Hannah's a window seat person, but she's wrong. And it's great because I'm not a window seat person, so we never have that argument when we're in first class and it's only two seats. So that's great. It really works for us. But she's wrong. The aisle seat's the way to go.

And I understand you get distracted because the cart's coming by and all these different things. But when you have to pee, now, as you can see by what I just talked about, I don't like disturbing other people. even if they're literally 20% minimum in my fucking space and I'm leaning against their fucking skin the entire flight, I'm still a nice person. So I don't want to disturb somebody when I have to pee. So if I am not in the aisle, I will spend the entire, honestly, 48 hours before my flight stressing about, you know, not overhydrating and worrying about peeing. So anyway, so continue. So I am an aisle seat person. but I have noticed every single time if the middle seat is open and I'm waiting to see if it's getting filled.

Sometimes I'll even like check the seat map on the plane and be like, did someone get that ticket or am I going to get lucky? Like is no one going to be there. Every single time it is a really tall man. Right. Every single time. Like I don't know why they choose the middle seat or if they just like don't pick a seat. I think they're just book late. So that always really upsets me.

But in this situation, I'm not really sure what I would do because. I kind of feel like that person in that seat is probably more uncomfortable than me. Yeah. At the end of the day. And I don't know if it would make sense. Like if you're really uncomfortable, if there would be an option for you to switch somewhere else. But yeah, I don't know if there is a way to really avoid that situation. I definitely like, I don't want a victim blame and be like, why would you pick a middle seat if you're going to be uncomfortable?

But I think that there's more to it probably than that. So what I will say, though, is, okay, so let me add to this. Raise the stakes. He was with his son. And his son was in the window seat. So, and I know he's trying to be a good. With the sun. Maybe I should, maybe that's what I should have been.

I'm like, hey, man, maybe, maybe put the sun in the middle. And how old was the son? I mean, he was like minimum 18. I mean, he was an adult. You know, but he was definitely a, like, basically, he would have had, he would have been able to put one side into the window and the other side into his son. And then, but in this situation, he was putting one side into his son and the other side into me, you know? But the son was probably like, give you the window. No, you know what it is?

The sun was probably like, I've flown with you before. Give me the window. so I can fucking lean away from your ass because we don't have to eye. No, but listen, I feel bad. And trust me, it's an anonymous guy, so I'm not ripping on the guy. But it is one of those weird situations, though,

where it's like, okay, I don't mind, I'll do it for you. But at the same time, it's like, this is like uncomfortable. You know what I mean? So I was more, I felt it was like a good conundrum, like for the dialers to wrap their head around, you know? In fact, I was literally sitting in a little bit. The interim of the week. Yeah, I was sitting, yeah.

I was sitting in the, in the aisle seat, like, with this guy's skin against me. And what was even funny, too, was like, he kept falling the seat. But, like, honestly, he was too, he was, the, the, the, the hand, the hand rest never went down. When he got in, it was up, you know, I hadn't put it down. You know what I mean? So, yeah, but it wouldn't have made a difference. But like, when he sat down, I realized like, oh, fuck, I'm not going to be able to put this down. Because, you know, he was like really that much across the, you know, he was trend.

He was, it was a cross-border incident. We were having a cross-border incident. So, so then what happened was he was falling asleep. So he had his hands like, like, almost like in a prayer position. But every time he fell asleep, his hands would separate. And then his fucking arm was like, like falling on to me every time he fell asleep and then he would go back. It was so fucking awkward.

And I didn't know what to do because I'm sure he's a nice man. So I didn't say anything. But I was like, I literally was like, like sitting there like leaning away the entire flight. I mean, it's a first world problem. Yeah. I think that probably has to be like top five dad's sleeping positions is, is this. The prayer hands resting on top of the belly.

Yeah. dad in the recliner top five sleeping position would be that. Well, my 2026 version is my phone, like, on my stomach, and I'm holding my phone against my stomach because I forgot to move my phone away. Anyway, listen, I've taken up too much time with this frivolous nonsense. So let's get into things you used to judge people for that you don't judge anymore. The picks are up to you. I haven't marked them all as judgment, but I think it's obvious. Does anyone feel like August is the Sunday of summer that going back to school feeling,

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I used to judge people for being Carrens up to a certain point. Some Karen. I'm like, okay, you're too far. going way too far and sometimes very much racist. But there are some carons out there and I will say my mom is definitely a Karen and she knows it. I've told her many times where she will argue with somebody at the grocery store because she's supposed to get $5 off something.

And I'm like, mom, just chill. Just five bucks. Okay. Now that I'm 25, things are so expensive nowadays and I'm paying a lot for myself now. And I'm like, mm-mm. No, that says $5 off on the clearance rack. I got it off the clearance rack. Please give me my discount.

I do not make enough money. Can I always have the discount? So I can understand why some people are cared about, like, you know, coupons and stuff. It's like, bro, it's so expensive to live in America right now and probably the world as well, but I live in America. So my God, it's so expensive. So just please give me my $5 off. Oh, my gosh. And I will also return things.

I used to be like, whatever, I don't need to return it. You know, throw it out or give it away, whatever it is. Now I will keep my receipts and I will return it and I will get my money back. Okay. All right. Thank you. Love you guys. Bye.

You know, I mean, this is quintessential getting older shit right there. Amen. You know, because like, you know what I learned? Because I don't have kids, but like I used to make fun of my mother for like getting the no frills. The no frills stuff. No frills used to be like more of a thing. I feel like they used to, do you remember, you know the term no frills, right?

Like, do you know something simple, no extra stuff? Or like, is it something? So there used to be, it used to be that in supermarkets, the supermarket own brand stuff was called no frills. But I feel like that's not as much. I feel like they used to be like a no frills section. Or certainly the own brand stuff used to be. used to be a bit like,

I feel like one of the super, it used to be like really like one color, like no design, no frills. So when my, you know, when my mother would buy no frills, like Raisin Brand, we would kind of like judge her,

you know, and be like, why are you getting the fucking no frills? But then, even though I didn't have kids, but like if I was like babysitting my nephews or if I was like looking after somebody's kids or, you know,

or even if I was with my friend and we were buying, shit knowing that it was for the kids, immediately I'd be like, well, I'm not getting a good shit for these guys. You know, I feel like once you're buying for somebody else, it's very easy to be like, fuck that. I'm using my fucking coupons, you know? Now, I've never used a coupon in my life other than at Macy's where they literally,

they force you to use coupons. Have you ever gone to Macy's and not had a coupon? Have you ever gone to Macy's? I have gone to Macy's. And have you ever not had the coupon or have you haven't had the stuff that gets you the discounts? I mean, I'm always trying to find them if I can. Yeah, because the women behind the counter, the women are the men, but generally the women behind the counter will be like, do you have a coupon?

I'm like, no. And then they'll be like, don't worry, I got one. They always have them. They hook it up. Honestly, I've never, every trip to Macy's in my life, and I don't think this gets enough, they don't get enough credit. every trips to Macy's has ended up being 30% cheaper than the number I had in my head when I was going up to the fucking cash register. There's always deals at Macy's.

I don't think, I'm not a spokesperson for Macy's, but they don't get enough credit for how many fucking discounts are running around that joint. You know, it'll be like 70% off. And then it's an additional 10% off, you know? And then they just start scanning fucking QR codes. They fucking roll them down like a scroll from the 1700s like, here you, here you. 10% off, everything. So anyway, so I,

that's the only place I actually use coupons. But I don't have kids. I'm still fucking just buy for myself and Hannah. You know? So anyway, that's a good, I think a lot of people when they get older, they appreciate, because basically in your mind,

you're like, okay, I'm only saving three bucks, but it's like, like, why give them the three bucks if there's three bucks to be saved? Right? Yeah. I also feel like there's, we have to differentiate between Karens and advocating for yourself because, sorry, I even forgot that this was the Karen thing. Like, in fairness, like, that's not Karen behavior.

No, I don't think it, I think that it's just that's become, that so much of that has gotten lumped into Karening. Like, I'm so afraid of being a Karen that if they completely butcher my coffee, I'm like, thanks. This is exactly what I wanted. Like, I won't send it back. I won't either. That's a character flaw.

Because I'm so afraid of being a Karen. And then I'm like, okay, now I'm going to drink this thing that I didn't even want. But I think there's a difference between, because I also have the trauma of like my mom's side of the family as a send food back family and like a company about everything family. So I'm jealous of those people. Why? Oh, that they're so free. That they can do that. Yeah.

Because they're right. They're actually right. Unless they're into, we know somebody who's in like almost like 70. percent of the time it's going back. And then it's like, oh, well, you, you wanted it. You, you were hoping that you could find a problem because they're into it. Yes. That's the, that's the key piece of the Karen is you're seeking something wrong and you're trying to find, like, you're trying to take control over something. Like, you don't have control in your life. So you're trying to find a way to have authority in some moment that you don't have. So you're picking apart something that doesn't, or if, you know, you're yelling a kid skateboarding in the park or like something that's Karen. That's Karen behavior. That's a Karen. But if you're like, you're like, you're like, like, you know, they completely butchered my order. I think it's okay to be like, hey, actually, I didn't get that at all. It's really hard, but I don't think that's care and behavior. Yeah.

No. And I will, if I get the totally wrong thing, like, I will be like, sorry, I, you know, I didn't want that. I will do that. But I, not as much as I should. But, so I remember a very specific Karen. incident that my mother did when I was a child. This is a post-Caron stress disorder. P-KSD for my childhood. Part of the rap group. Yeah, P-KSD. So anyway, and adulthood, I realized that my mother was right, but I was quite embarrassed by it at the time. This is a long time ago. We were at Miniola Pool Club

where we used to go during the summer. And there was diving boards there, high diving boards, back when, you know, life was fun before fucking health and safety destroyed everything. And there was a long line. I think actually that just coincidentally enough, that day, the high diving board was closed. So there was like a really long line for the diving board of kids just waiting to fucking dive. And the older kids were like cutting the line. So like they would dive in.

And then if their friend was like forward, in the line, they would jump back in the line where their friend was, as if their friend was, right? And of course, it was pissing all this younger kids off, but like, I wasn't going to say anything. Next thing, lo and behold, fucking Eileen Bishop, who had been like watching from quite far away, she comes up and she fucking says, hey, I saw you guys, you guys are cutting the line, get to the back of the line, these younger kids have been waiting. And I was so fucking embarrassed. And when she walked away, I could hear one of the older kids be like, what a bitch about my mother, you know?

And how I was, I felt, obviously I didn't tell him. It was my fucking mother, you know, but I was so embarrassed. But I think about that sometimes and I was like, wow, she was so right, you know. 100%. Yeah, I don't even, like I get why you have, I don't want to invalidate your post-traumatic Karen. No, because I'm joking. I'm joking because it's not trauma for me now.

It's actually admiration. It's turned into admiration. She completely did the right thing. A hundred percent. It would have been better if a kid did that for sure and not someone's mom. If you knew my mother's energy, you know, she probably could have rained it in a little bit, but that's okay. Yeah. You know, that, that was.

At least she wasn't, yeah. At least she wasn't like, hey, you guys are cutting my son right here. No, it wasn't like that. She was all about justice. Yeah. I think that like that's complete. It would be if I thought it was going to be like, you know, kids are doing backflips or whatever. And she's like, you guys can't be doing that. Like, that's a Karen move.

Standing up for you and the other little kids waiting. That's pretty sweet. Although, you know, on the flip, you know, by the way, I, I have only admiration for my mother in that situation. But what I will say, though, is that, like, most of my childhood, we just had to, we had to figure out a lot of that shit for ourselves, which I actually think is one of the better things about the way that we grew up. And I'm not going to get into all my boomer shit about like the way it used to be. But, but, you know, I think that it's basically almost like a scientific fact now that there should be a little bit more of children trying to, you know, find resolution amongst themselves without adult help. We definitely need more

of that. But anyway, in that situation, at the time I was embarrassed and in hindsight, I think she was right. So let's, let's, let's, what you want, you want a final thought on this? Well, I was going to ask if, because I feel like today, if that happened, other parents would get mad that, like, a parent yelled at their kids. Did anyone get mad at your mom? I don't think the, my mother just happened. You were just so, like, humiliated. No, no, my mother just happened to be watching.

But here's the difference between then and now. My mother wasn't even watching to see if we were safe. She just probably had noticed this behavior and it was fucking driving her insane. But there wasn't really any other parents were. And you can, I can promise you that in the 1980s, there wouldn't be a single parent that'd be like, don't yell at my kid. Most of the parents would have been like,

oh, you could have hit him if you wanted. Did you smack him? Because he fucking deserves it, you know? So. Honestly, you know, I don't think you should hit your kids. But after all these Miami sauna incidents with all these red-pilled fucking 25-year-old men, I'm starting to think that a generation of unhit boys

fucking don't have any goddamn boundaries, but I could be wrong. I used to do a joke and say, we shouldn't hit our kids, but actually, I think that women, mothers should be allowed to hit their sons. That was actually, by the way, it's a joke, okay? So don't fucking light up, this is a joke. But I was saying that mothers should be allowed to hit their sons. And then people say, well, what message does that send to the boys? And I said, the message is that even when a woman hits you, you don't hit back.

You know, it's not the word. message in the world, but I'm joking. It was a joke. I think that's better than like the boy mom culture. Like, genuinely. Of like, oh, thinking that. Oh, thinking that they're like in love with their own son. Oh, yeah.

The son fucking shines out of their ass. It's so weird. Yeah. Uh, anywho. You don't get that as much with the Irish. Yeah, totally. You'd be lucky to get an I love you, to be honest with you. Yep.

Anyway, let's fucking drive on here. Let's drive on. Come on. We're 34 minutes in, two prompts. Hey, Dan. Hey, Nicole. One thing that I used to really judge people for in my 20s, and probably even before that,

that I do shamelessly now in my 30s. And let my partner pay for me. It just pays for everything. now I hate, we don't look together, so I like to pay on my own building stuff, but we're going out, like, he's saying literally everything. And I love it, but when I was younger, I was like, I'm sure, I'm going to put a woman. They don't need no man. And looking back, I'm like, well, that's why you dated Luther. And I have a great partner now who absolutely adores me and loves to just dote on me and then he's like, take all my money.

whatever I want to and I love it. So that's what I get. You got a little bit more in dating. But love you guys. I mean, I have nothing to add. I, you know, I'm a modern guy and I like, you know,

I'm happy with whatever anybody's comfortable with. But I must say, I've always been more comfortable with paying. But that's just, it's not even just like with women in my dating years and all that. I struggle with splitting the bill. I'd rather pay for the whole bill than split it.

I'd rather pay for the whole bill or have somebody else insisting to pay. But like when we get into splitting, I just, I'm like, ugh. It just, I hate it. But it's not because I think we shouldn't split it. It's just so fucking awkward. It's the awkwardness, like, makes me uncomfortable. So it's not even about the money. It's just about, like, oh, the situation.

So I'd rather just pay. And I'm not saying I miss the fucking money bags, but I've always been more comfortable paying. What's your opinion? Because this is like the feminist conundrum. You know? I've always, yeah. I mean, when it comes to like my friends and stuff, it's kind of the same situation where it's like, I'll get this one. You get the next one.

Like, I don't really like splitting either or like the Venmo requests after. I don't like that kind of stuff. Especially if you're sending a. Venmo request and it's like $20.61. Like if it's an exact number, it's kind of like, all right. I can't remain friends. I can't remain friends with somebody that's not at least rounding it up to the dollar. No, of course not. And then if like, I don't know. And then in situations where like someone isn't in a place where they need to be like paying attention to their

money that closely, like I would just rather cover that person. Like I don't, I don't, you know. And then when it comes to, yeah, when it comes to men, for some reason I've always, really liked paying and I know that's probably frowned upon but I don't like someone paying for me it like makes me uncomfortable and I need to probably like get over that and oh so you don't like when the guy pays I mean I know that's kind of like the expectation but I don't I don't like I don't for some reason makes me really uncomfortable so I I prefer to like either cover it or split it interesting and I know that's probably like frowned upon but I'm too uncomfortable with the idea of him paying for it. Although there are sometimes like, Bonnie McFarland has a joke

about that, like with the date. Oh, really? I'm a feminist, but on a date, the guy's paying because I'm, I'm taking the risk of being assaulted. So you're paying. Totally. I mean, if it were, like, I've been in a long-term relationship, so I think it's different, too. Like, if I were dating, I don't even know what I would do. I don't know if I would, I would be able to let a guy, unless it kind of, like, sucked. If the date sucked, maybe I would let him pay. But the confidence of like some girls being able to be like, yeah, I'm going for a free meal. I'm like, I want to be you. I just can.

I feel too guilty. So a couple of a couple of addendums. Is that the correct word for? I want to add a couple of things to this. When I talk about like I'd rather just pay what I can't stand. That's because over the years I've done okay. Like so a lot like not always, but. Sometimes I'm in a situation where I know that I'm under less financial stress than maybe some of the people that I'm out with, right?

So I like to sort of like, you know, just look after everybody, but not in a way of like, I'm Mr. Moneybags. But what I can stand, though, is when you're with somebody who is like clearly, like, really financially better, but they never offered to pay. And like, after a while, if you notice it, then you're like, oh, they're one of them. they're one of the fucking penny pincher people, you know? That fucking drives me insane. But also in a situation like you said of like, I'll get this when you get the next one. But like in a group of friends,

sometimes you get the person that never covers their end. That's like a disease, you know, the cheap disease. And I know that they can't do anything about it. I know it's like the sound of like mouth noises for me. Like they only notice the money coming in. The money going out like breaks their soul. I don't know what causes it, what childhood trauma causes it. I know it to think.

I have sympathy for how much it makes them uncomfortable, but I'm not going to be taken for a ride based on your illness. And I think every friend group or certainly in your life, you will encounter people with that disease, like the cheap disease. Have you ever had that friend? Have you ever had to call somebody out and be like, yo, you're not covering your end? For me, I've kind of just avoided that conversation because it fucking sucks. and if it's somebody who-

I know, but eventually if it keeps happening. Yeah, I think it's like, I don't know, money is such a weird topic. And if it's someone who is like obviously struggling, it, like, we would just cover that person. If it's someone who has the cheap disease and they're rich. No, no, I know, I know, I know. I know. But if it's someone who obviously has it and they're like penny pinching or, you know, you're getting those Van Mo requests of like, yeah, I also have some friends that definitely take advantage of. it where they'll like, you know, ball out at the dinner and then be like Venmo requesting people.

And it's like, well, you got the, you know, massive multiple bottles of wine. And there are people at this table who don't drink. So, you know, there's stuff like that where it's like, gets kind of weird too. But I don't know if I've ever actually had like a conversation about it. Yeah, I've never, when we're sharing with the booze, they're always like, well, Des wasn't drinking. I'm just, just fucking split it. Unless it's like outlandish.

But I will never push for it. I'll never push for it, though, but sometimes people do insist. Honestly, I'm so bad at math, I just can't be dealing with the extra. I'm like, oh, God, we got to, you got to take out the booze, then split it and then put the booze back in between you guys. I just can't right now. My head's going to fucking explode. But no, the cheap disease, though, drives me fucking insane.

I had one friend, and, like, I fucking, I always got dinner because I hate. And, like, but then eventually I was like, this motherfucker has never reciprocated. He's always like, fine. You get it. And then I, then I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I didn't call them out. I just stop fucking hanging out with this motherfucker. Because that's like, you know, it's like, bro, you, like, you know, because you know they know. That's what's fucked up.

You know they know. And if, if, if, I also know that if I wait long enough, they'll be like, wanting to split it. Because I can feel them waiting. You know what I mean? Like, so I just stop hanging out with those people. Anyway, let's, let's get a few more before this, fuck. whole episode. It's just me talking. We love hunger root because we hate shopping.

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Okay, the thing that I definitely use to judge people for and now I completely understand as a mom to a 10 month old, which here I go. is counting things related to pregnancy and young children in weeks and months rather than years as like normal adult people do or for pregnancy months. I used to be like, please don't tell you that you're 27 weeks pregnant. I don't want to do math. I wasn't expecting to. But then when I was pregnant, I was like, I completely get it. This is such a terrible experience. You literally need to count it in weeks. to make it feel like you're making progress. Like if you didn't change more frequently than every four weeks,

you would just be unable to complete the experience. So I completely get it now. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, I think that it's very easy to think that pregnant people are like going on about it all the time. And then I guess when you have the experience, I'll never have it. but I guess you get some great understanding, you know, but I've never been, I mean, obviously, I've never been judgmental about that. Have you? No, I mean, for me, I think with a pregnancy, like,

it sounds like it changes so much week to week that it makes sense. You would count it in weeks. The thing that bothers me with the numbers is when someone has, like, a living, breathing child, and they're like, this is my 26-month-year-old, or they're, like, doing it in, you know, when people do that? I hate that because I'm like, what does that mean? Like, how old is your child when they won't call them like my kid's like a year and a half or my kid is too? Like they're still using months at that point. That's what drives me crazy. 24 months is the max.

That should be a law. There should be a law that like after 24 months, you're into years and you can start using halves and quarters if you want, but you're into years. I don't mind 18 months rather than a year and a half. I don't mind. I do mind that. 18 months? Why do they say that? Are you trying to make them still seem small?

Like, why won't you just say my kids one and a half? I would say, yeah, I would say because they just were in the month's habit. So I'm going to give them the grace to get out of the month's habit. I'm going to give them two years. But after 24 months, it's two, two and a half, two and a quarter. If we need the quarter, you can have the quarter. But we're not doing 26 months. We're not doing that.

yeah i'm not good enough at math to know how old your kid is yeah yeah to yeah so so your what's your limit then your limit is one year a year after that because then it's not months anymore and then you can say like a year in two months like if you really need to be breaking it down like that sure but like yeah what's easier to say a year in two months or 14 months this is this is where it gets complicated it is complicated But I don't know. I think if I would, if it's between a year and a year and a half, I would just say my kids a year. And then when we get to a year and a half, it's a year and a half.

When we get to two, it's two. Like, I don't know. I don't have a child. So I, it's hard for me to, I feel bad. I look forward to the episode where Nicole's like, I look forward to the episode where Nicole's like, you know, I used to judge people for saying 26 months. But now that I have a 26 month year old. I have a 36 month old. That's going to be, that's going to be our new.

thing. It's like, actually, what's 50 times 12? Don't ask me how many months old you are. 600, right? That would be really funny. Yeah, you're a 600 month old. Yeah, yeah, 600 months old. I'm a 600. I'm a 360 month old. Well, actually, I'm not a 600 month old. I'm a 68 month old. 67 and a half.

I'm 67. I'm 600 and what is it? I'm 600 and seven and a half months old. Oh my God. 600 and seven and a half months old right now. That's a lot of months. Yeah. So anyway, let's take a few more.

Hey, Des. Sorry if you hear crying in the background, but it'll all make sense after I tell you, answer to the prompt this week. So something that I used to judge people for were those child leashes, like you would see people walking around with their kid on a leash. And I was appalled. I was like, oh, I'm never going to be that person. Like, what is one of those people? Well, I had a nine-month-old and found out that I was trying to get with twins. So now I am in fact the person with a double-stroller infant, and then I have my one-year-old on a leash. Um, so I get it other parts and I cringe that I'm not personal.

That's a good one. And she said a one year old. Thank God. I was worried Nicole was going to be triggered because initially she said nine months, which is three quarters of a year. Getting close. Three quarters of eight, three quarters of a year as far as Nicole is concerned. It's a 75% year old.

Yeah. Yes. 75% of one year old. And, yeah, I could see, I could see all that. Like, because I tell you what I'm very judgmental of, like, modern parenting, like all the fucking shit that you have to bring, you know? Like all the crap. Just like all the bags of fucking shit that they always have. You know, they show up like a professional hockey player with a fucking huge bag.

It's like, no, because like, I, it's just, there's more shit these days. And I know it's all handy. Right? The pack and play and the fucking, you know, all the different, you know, and plus, you know, because everyone's into like, their kids diet. So they got to bring the fucking blueberries and the fucking avocado and the hummus and, you know, like, it's just got to bring a lot of stuff. Which, of course, I know that's the way we do it nowadays. But because I'm such an ancient no kid guy, I'd still think the world is like the 80s when it comes to like parenting. So when they show up with their fucking, like, they're moving. into your house when they fucking visit you're like what the fuck is all this shit and i know when we have kids we're going to have all that fucking shit i know you know actually that's what i'm going to do i'm

going to get a hockey bag for the whole the fucking kids stuff they have like a different language to like people with kids under two they have so many different things for that age group like i have a lot of friends who have kids that age and they're like oh we just got the snoo the snoo is great and like they like the different things they have the snoo is real the snoo is real the snoo is real um what's the yeah they have this what is the snoo what is the snoo is like a i think like a special crib oh it's like a like a back name type thing but it does like white noise and motion and stuff like that oh so the snoo like they they have like oh because it's like a snoo's from snoo's smart is that where snoo come never put it together

but I would I would guarantee that's where Snoo comes from. And it's all in all caps. But yeah, so there's like a million different devices for children that have goofy-ass names. And they're always, they're always talking about them. Yeah. Because like,

to me, the baby Bjorn is still like the big thing. But that's like nearly 30 years old now, probably the baby Bjorn. I fucking love the baby Bjorn. But that's like so old. That's so ain't like, that's not fresh.

And like all these amazing strollers like it's amazing. But like, honestly, like, when I see these fucking these ninja parents fucking breaking down this stuff, I'm like, I'm very impressed. But like, honestly, though, what's crazy is, I know that it's more comfortable, but is it really that much better than the shitty fucking canvasy? Are you, are you old enough to remember like the basic fucking stroller with the bit of canvas that you just like, it just folded over? do you remember do I was probably remember those yeah yeah because they were so basic and I'm sure they were fucking dangerous too

but yeah you could just like fall out the front well yeah yeah I think actually I can't remember if there was a strap on them did there have a yeah maybe you know because I because I remember being but by the time my brother Aiden was like one two years old like I'm properly have memory and I can remember pushing Aiden around

and one of these like shitty plastic wheeled fucking like honestly they still exist you know who they exist for it dolls dolls still use them but they used to be for humans but I'm sure they're super dangerous but yeah now some of these gadgets are amazing so that would be one of mine probably like you know if we have kids or when we have kids the I will be like have to take back all my judgment of all the gadgetry you know I think what was huge when I was a child was basically being like inserted into a table, like those round table things that had like the little, all the little trinkets on them. Do you know what I'm talking about? It's like a round,

kind of like bouncy table. And then there's like just a million overstimulating things. Yes. In the ring on the outside. Do we not use that anymore? We don't use that anymore. I don't know. I don't know if we do. But. Well, by the way, there's also, there's also all these things that like, I used to think, you know, they were like amazing that are not good. Right. So the, the, the, the walker thing with the thing with the wheels you put the kid in they walk around like that's not good apparently dangerous. I think it's dangerous and not good for their development and you know what else was fucking awesome and the the jumper things in the doorway they're not they're not good apparently

they were fucking awesome. I mean our clearly something was I mean I was bouncing like crazy in that thing and I have awful knees today so there must be something like really yeah the early bouncer that Maybe that was a part of it. By the way, I'm very aware that people are going to message with the reasons why. And I absolutely, I absolutely get it. But the Walker thing, that's an unfortunate one that that turned out to not be good for the kid. Because that was handy. Fucking chuck them in the Walker and let them fucking bounce all over the place.

You know? And you can't feed your kids. You're not supposed to like feed them. You're supposed to let them feed themselves. Really? Yeah, that's like one of the, that's the latest. Anyway, I'm not going to talk about all these things that I know nothing about. But what I am going to say is I've been judging the shit out of people.

Yeah. Which is the theme of the episode. There's no more airplane. You can't airplane anymore. You're not supposed to. That's the truth. You're not supposed to airplane. That's, that's the word on the street.

That's what I'm getting, you know? That's what I'm getting. You know? All these parents that were aeroplained are saying that that was bad now. Yeah. Next, it's going to be peekaboo. They're going to take away all the joys of interacting with the baby. You can't fucking take away peekaboo, bro.

It's unbelievable. That is a killer. Sound like an angry Republican. It's like, because you remember when they were saying that they were going to take away fucking gas, gas stoves? It's like now they're trying to take away the ability to cook a steak on a fucking open flame. So that's what's going to be. That's what's going to be.

That's what's going to turn me Republican. And now they want to take peekaboo? What the fuck? It's one of the simple joys of life is playing with a baby's object permanence. Yeah, man, peekapoo. But it's fucking timeless, man. It's amazing how much peekaboo, you know? There's just certain things.

Or like, do you know what's so funny is like, you can't shout at kids. But for some reason, kids are aware when you're a friend, you know, when they know you, not when they don't know you, but when they know you, they think it's hilarious for you to be pretend angry. Isn't it amazing how even from a young age they can tell the difference? Really? I don't know if I've ever like been pretend angry at a kid. Oh. Oh. Like there's like a game you can play with the like, you know, oh, now you're in trouble.

Now you're in big trouble. And then you're like, come here. And they're like, ah! Anyway, whatever. Yeah. I'm great at winding them up. I'm not great at getting them to hang down. Totally.

All right, let's take a couple more. Okay, so I'm just going to have to get into one thing that I used to judge people for, and I was a 24-year-old woman that I understand would probably have to be chlamydia. You know, in high school sex, they teach you that, like, main girls, if you'll get chlamydia and die. Like, you know, I thought I was going to get, you would die. And then I went to college and everyone had herpes. So it was like, ugh, clyia probably isn't that bad.

It's just a pill and you're good, you know. And then I went to Scotland and hung out with, went to a comedy show one night and came back with clymedia. So, yeah, it's really not that bad. I get it. I feel like everybody gets clymedia. And if you don't, then congrats for, opening nothing worse. But yeah,

yeah. So, yeah, chlamydia is one of the... So here's the thing with chlamydia. It's just one pill, right? It's like not a big deal. I don't know, Jeff, I had chlamydia once. It's just a pill. You take a pill, it's gone. But the thing about chlamydia is it actually sounds worse

than a lot of the other ones. So it is quite a frightening word, but it's not a big deal. But that, But at the same time, you know, I've really been of the opinion that because birth control has just gotten so much better, and we're so much far away from the AIDS epidemic, that like modern society is a little less like sort of condom focused in a way that probably has caused an increase in STDs in general. So we could probably do with a better health campaign around like condoms, not just being about stuff. stopping pregnancy, but also, you know, we could probably do it another round of that. But needless to say, a fine message. Calmedia, not a big deal, but not ideal.

Not ideal. So let's not be getting into like, let's all get chlamydia here. All right, let's take one more before we go. I know this isn't going to be. Hi, by the way. Sorry. I know this isn't going to be relevant to everybody, but something that I used to judge people for that now I understand is, um, when people have crying children.

Now that I am a mom, you know, it goes without saying. Not that I was like judging them, but it'd be like, oh, like, you know, I'd look at my then-boyfriend or then-fiance at the time that we kind of roll our eyes and, like, you know, it's annoying. Like, if you're on a plane or something, but now, listen, I get it. I'm in the trenches with them. Like, you can't control it, you know? You can't control when a baby or a kid is crying or having a fit.

obviously you can respond in an appropriate way. But yeah, no, it's something that you just kind of don't, you know, until you're in it. But obviously, I know that's not relevant to everybody, not everybody wants children. And that's perfectly fine. So that's just something that's, you know, personal to me. That's all. Okay. I got to think that's a pretty common one.

And this theme has come up a lot. It's been controversial. Some dismissive of children's. needs and parents stresses on this podcast throughout the years. But yes, I'm very actually, I'm quite sympathetic to the crying child on a plane, but I'll tell you what I'm not sympathetic to. And I've said it before and I'm going to repeat myself, the loud fucking parenting. Because that you can control.

The whole fucking plane doesn't need to hear whatever stupid game you're doing with your kid or, you know, like, we just don't need to know that you're the fucking dad of the year, basically. That loud parenting annoys me. I don't mean like loud parenting, like your little piece of shit. That disturbs me. I mean like loud parenting. Like, what color is that, honey? Is that red?

It's like, just you fucking keep it down, bro. Just fucking, you know, because not, okay, it's great. You're interacting with your child. But like, you're also teaching your child that it's okay to be a fucking loud, obnoxious asshole in a public space. You know? It's bad messaging. So that's the only thing I judge in that situation is the performative parenting.

I can't. Because here's the thing. When people have kids, their kid is everything, which is wonderful. It's the center of your universe. But the problem is that the rest of us don't give a fuck. You know? So don't annoy us. Just do your parenting at a volume that is just like normal conversation volume. And if you think I'm parent shaming, I want to point out that two adult men talking about

talking about the fucking World Cup loudly is just as annoying to me. So this isn't aimed at parents. It's aimed at, you know, people loud in public spaces. Okay. So this is a generic warning to all of you. That burn a phone. Burnaphone does not. Burnaphone supports respecting your environment.

And that will be our final thought for the day. So don't forget, message you in about anything this episode. We have a lot more of them, but we were yippity yapping the entire time. But let me just read out the number one more time. Don't forget, 9-175-1-2-1758 or plus 1-6-4-6-4-2-3-0-20. I have to make an important announcement before we go. A lot of people messaging in about the yesteryear episode. But here's the thing.

I can't do the yesteryear episode without people messaging in. And I've only had about four audio messages about it. So everyone's like, oh, I read yesterday. I'm waiting for the episode. But you got to, if you guys want to do it, you have to message in. So this is the last chance. And nobody's in trouble. Okay.

Nobody's in trouble. You didn't do anything wrong. You haven't done anything wrong. This is a safe space to read and not share. but if you want to have that episode, you got to bombard me with messages, all right? Because not one person has message in yet with anything that I agree with.

And that you all fucking loved it. And I, you know, and I, I've conflicted on yesterday year and I want to discuss this conflict. But everyone is so goddamn adamant about their thoughts on it in a way that I don't understand. I can't understand how you finish this book and have clear thoughts like one way or the other, you know?

To me, it's clearly a conflicted feelings at the end. And if you don't have that great, message me and explain why. But for me, it's like, you've got to be, you got to have a wide range of emotions at the end of this book. So if you want to have an impassioned discussion about this book, okay, you got a message in. Otherwise, we're going to let it go because we're nearly in August. So if we do it, we're going to do it in two weeks. This is the last two weeks. Like Donald Trump, two weeks.

Two weeks. Two weeks were doing yesterday year. But it might not happen. Like a lot of the two weeks promises, it might not happen. So last chance, guys, for yesterday year. But next week's prompt is what's something that your family does that you thought was universal, but definitely isn't. Even though I feel like we've done that before. But anyway, it'll be a good episode. Thank you, Nicole.

We'll see you next week. I'm going rushing off to do a Spanish class. I got fucking Spanish grammar corrected in the fucking Spanish. Spotify comments. It's una class de Spanishol, I think I said

un class de Spanish. Una class a fucking feminine. So, anyway, we'll talk to you guys next week.

Thanks.