Berner Phone - Tinx: Rich Moms & Big Sis Energy

Episode Date: October 28, 2021

Tinx is the internet's big sister who gives incredible advice and knows exactly what she wants. I took her to hell to find out how she recovered from a cheating ex, how she's handling her viral tiktok fame, and understand how her mind works. She opens up about her experiences with therapy and gives her best advice for surviving dark times.--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm pretty like what you see is what you get, but it's just always weird. It's so funny how L.A. you do have to work with like clout chasing guys, which I think are everywhere. But in New York, it's more like, oh, you're on a reality show. Like I don't want to fuck with that. Like finance guys who are like... In L.A., they're like, tag me. I'm like, we're at dinner. Oh my God, no!

Welcome to Burning Island. We are an official L.A. Rich Mom Hell right now. I'm so excited. I don't know how I convinced her, but Tinks is here in the studio. Tinks, welcome. Hi. Thank you for having me. Thank you for coming. I'm so excited about this. Really? I'm stoked. I'm so stoked to meet you. I'm stoked to be here. I know we're going to have a great conversation. The internet's so weird because I feel like I know you. But I also feel like you are our generations i don't know madonna share tinks oh my god one name gassing me out you know who she is i love it this is unbelievable um if you're listening please know i look like a a drowned rat right now just came in true l a fashion like i wanted to give you the full l a experience so i arrived 30 minutes late

um for the sole reason that i was getting my hair done so i just wanted to be the most la possible just so you you know you get that feeling and i have like more respect for you because Because if you came on time, it's like, does she even? Yeah. It's like, I'm interviewing. L.A. No. Like, what? I'm so New York, so I'm so excited to pick your brain about L.A. and existing in L.A.

But I do have to know, is there a tinks bowl at Chipotle? So there was on the app for a time. Yes, it was my specific order on the app, and you could order it. And it was literally the best day of my life. I'm obsessed with this. I love Chipotle. I think it's the most delicious restaurant. I think that it makes everybody happy.

It smells really good in there I love everything about it And I have a very specific order Like I my followers know that I'm not like I have very specific food orders I'm never just like oh you guys go to that restaurant I'm like go to the restaurant on a Wednesday Ask for the specific chef get this salad

Have that the sauce on the side Get a side of this mix it with you know like I'm specific It's like the secret menu at Starbucks There's tricks and ways to get around it Yeah so my order was in the Chipotle app And it was truly I mean it was more important to me than graduating college to be honest with you just the fact that people could get my order and have it and I love them if I'm gonna have diary I

want it to be from tinks 100% I'm obsessed with Chipotle I also feel like you are kind of the internet's big sister and I don't love that because I don't want people thinking like you're some like wise old woman yeah but big sister as in I feel like you tell it like it is yeah you're okay with people just learning about you and you are also hysterical with this like rich LA mom type thing but you also have rich New York City mom I want to know what's the biggest difference between like a rich L.A. mom versus like a rich Tribeca mom. I know there's specific parts of it so I'm over generalizing but could you give me a main difference here? I think that

rich L.A. moms are more they want to appear casual. They want to appear like you know they're so blasé. They're so laissez-faire with their kids and their preschool and like oh you know like if they get into the nest preschool grade if they don't they'll go here. But secretly on the inside they're like oh my god if i don't get my kid into this school whereas new york moms are just balls to the wall they're like they don't hide it they're like yelling at the lawyer on the phone like i'll sue you if my kid doesn't get into this school they're like i woke up at 3 a.m so i could do 10 workout classes before cooking like gluten-free muffins for my kids uh like first class and and now i'm going to like run down the west side highway they're snorting their

anxiety meds on the way to work yeah they're like openly manned i'm and I respect the hell out of that. I respect all rich moms, but, you know, I got to love the New York moms. They fucking, they push their strollers through snow, okay? They're bugaboo, whatever that one is called. They're hardcore, and that's, I love that for them. So you're raised in London. Yeah.

Which is, makes you really interesting. It does make you more interesting to me. It makes me cool. Yes. No, it gives you, like, interesting, cool factor. What kind of mom do you want to be? I want to be a very accepting mom. I just want to give my kids space to be whoever they want to be and explore whoever they want to be, which is, of course, a recipe for disaster.

I think my kids will probably turn out to be maniacs if I do that. I think that, you know, I think rules are good. I think structure is good. My parents were pretty strict with me, but I think that that in the end actually made me more creative in a way. I do think that kids need boundaries and, like, things to push up against. Um, so I, yeah, I, I can't wait to be a mom. I mean, I can. Like, I'm not ready for kids right now, but I, I, I'm really looking forward to that chapter in my life. Do you aspire to be any parts of the rich moms that you make fun of? For sure. I think the rich moms that it's one part satire, one part aspiration. I think everybody's like, oh, like, it's so fun to make fun of, you know, that, like, that niche. But it's also like, oh, you're like, oh, but I, I actually like those golden goose sneakers are like, oh, I also like, oh, oat milk lattes or whatever it's like all just a little bit of fun so for sure i mean fuck yeah i hope i have multiple houses and a lot of cars and like a really cool nanny who's bilingual it's a

privilege to be stressed about where your kid's going to go to preschool 100% you also were in journalism girl i did my research in the uber over so you were in fashion journalism and you said it sounds like you wrote a lot of like fun articles where you would make yourself kind of the butt of the joke or you'd go on like 10 dates in a week but i want to know deeper because in my stand up I'll make fun of like 17 magazine. Oh yeah. They'd always say like, this is what you have to do to make the guy like you. Totally.

And there's some like toxicity in it. Yeah. What did you feel about like, did you feel like the industry wanted you to be a type of way or tell the woman to be a type of way? I definitely feel that now. I feel like a lot of the advice I give is in reaction to the whole, that whole like structure. Yeah, that whole structure of what I grew up with. I'm 31.

So like I feel like there was a, there was a specific like 10 to 15 years of. of female-focused advice that was just like, I'll be honest, totally wrong. I believe that they were telling us like totally the wrong answer. They were like, wait exactly four and a half dates to have sex with him. And then you'll capture his heart and you'll own his soul. And it's like, wait, actually, that's such a lie. And like also times have changed. So, you know, let me actually just go back on what I said.

It might not be that it was wrong, but it was partially wrong advice, but it was partially just that times have changed. So I think a lot. It's like dieting. Yeah, 100%. We're doing no fat everything back then, and now I'm like, avocado to the face. No, totally. And so it's like things change.

Like advice needs an update. So I at once loved those like female focus magazines that I grew up on. And I like, I gobbled up every fucking column on like how to give a blow job. Yeah. But it's like now that's time for an update. And in terms of what I wrote, I mean, gosh, I was obsessed with like being the guinea pig. Like I won't lie. I was totally watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 days.

I was like I'm Andy Anderson how to girl 2.0 and like all those pieces on are still on the internet and also like if you're a freelance writer you'll know you kind of just will like take anything you're like do you want me to write 500 words on like how to like eat corn on the cob sexily sure I'll do it for 300 bucks whatever um but yeah that was a long-winded answer but I think it's a complicated question and you nailed it thank you because when I watch your content you're not just it's really well structured people were messaging me like tell her about this list and this trick and I was like you have your own you're your own journalist but like through the most authentic part of you which is fucking

awesome yeah this is a random question someone asked me do you like being called tinks in the sheets that's so interesting yeah I think honestly all of my boyfriend let me think yeah pretty much all of my boyfriends have called me tanks there was one who called me christina but but mainly it's tanks or like a nickname, obviously. Because I was thinking about, I feel like Lady Gaga once was like, I don't like when they call me Gaga in bed. Totally, yeah. Well, that's interesting. But it's not your stage name.

It's not my stage name. It's like, it's truly what all my friends call me. So I think that's why it's fine. Yeah. I feel like you're very good at marketing is, you know, because you're like in that world. And I do think what when I saw you, the name Tinks really just made me interested. Yeah. And then when I was like, she grew up in London, this girl's smarter than me.

Like, I love that. absolutely not what are your red flags in a relationship because you're dating around you've experienced a lot of different people what are some early on red flags that like i don't care how tall he is i don't care if he's a musician i don't care if he's a jawline like what do you have to tell girls to watch out for um yeah because there's all the jokey red flags like i made a tic talk about this i was like if he doesn't have a headboard if his name begins with jay whatever but i think more seriously i think really look at if he um to you and remembers things about you. And I think that that's something that we just glaze over a lot in our young 20s. We're just so, we're just so obsessed with them liking us. Like, do they like us? Do they like us? And I always tell girls, no, that's not the question. The question is, do I like him? Oh, that's literally a whole core of my stand up where I'm like, because we're, a lot of girls listening, like, you can trick so many guys to like you. 100%. And then six months in his mom won't stop texting you and you like hate how he blinks and you're like how did I get here

totally I've been there so because I'm competitive and I'm like and what's so hard about your advice too is that what guys are we going towards the guy who doesn't listen to you right which makes him seem so much more interesting right and if you have that self-hate which we all do you're like oh I deserve this I want to win him over right and once you realize that like oh that's the universe saying this isn't like right for you. Think about the friends that you vibe with. Right. Someone who after a conversation, you feel like they had so much fun listening to even the stupidest

stuff you said. Yeah. I completely. So I think it's about communication. It's like, does he ask you questions as well? Because we've all been on those dates where like he's cute and he checks the right boxes but then you look up and you're like, he actually asked nothing about me. Like he didn't ask me.

So I'd say like, does he ask questions and does he listen to the answers and like remember things is does he follow up and say oh like i saw like that i walk by that tie place that you love or like oh like how did your your mom's like move go or whatever like i'm literally smiling because that's the cutest thing a guy can do it's the cutest thing it's so simple and it's like the red flags are actually right there in front of us it's just like we make it more complicated for ourselves by like or you're like if i was more interesting no no just like does he listen does he ask questions and does he remember things it's really all comes back to communication i think i get all my information from TikTok as one does and a guy did a study saying that couples that lasted together

I saw that one when he's like yeah with a bird and you're like oh look at the bird or whatever like yeah it's I literally am obsessed with that thing so basically yeah go no no go explain yeah if you're on a date he said like something like 90% of couples stay together versus like 30 and it's literally just if you notice something like that's a pretty bird and the person just acknowledges it yeah stay together longer and it's such a simple concept but it makes sense that like someone who just is on the same page as you it's called a bid and i'd actually heard of that before through this um like seminar that i went to and so it's it's so subtle but it's really stuck with me so it's it's like if you it's like if you're at home and your boyfriend comes home and and you're like oh like um like let's get like

or let's watch TV tonight and it's like he can either acknowledge you or like turn away from you and that's called a bid and in the in the tic-tok example he said one person was like look a bird and it's like is the other person like yeah a bird or oh that's nice or whatever it's just like that level of connection and ever get to the point in relationship where you're actually thinking before you speak on will this be a good enough thing to say to him yeah i've been there yeah and i remember i did this guy he was like charming funny successful and he would make fun of the way i would tell stories and he'd be like it never has a point when it's like i'm a fucking podcaster and stand up but clearly i know how to tell a good story but during it i'd feel like i'd be losing him and then i'd never

confidently ended i'd be like but it was stupid like whatever who cares yeah and i realized like hen you're not a bad storyteller he didn't give a shit no he was just a bad listener oh you can tell a story to a wall yeah yeah so um we did not work out um you though though it's funny because I've done reality TV where I put some like personal stuff out there you kind of have your own reality TV that people are watching the one woman show a one woman show you put your breakup out there and I know this is like annoying but why well I had I had brought my followers along for the whole ride and I you know I it feels very natural let me begin by saying it feels very natural for me to share everything with my followers I feel very close to them

and I had kept his identity private but like gave him a nickname as I always do on my vlogs and like told everybody and I was I fell super hard like I was in love with him within weeks and I was like giddy on my TikToks my Instagram stories and I was so happy and then you know I got sidelined with the news and and I was like I have a choice like either I can you know I'm going to be heartbroken either way but I've brought my followers along and I I can try to show girls who are younger than me or any girls because it happens to everybody, like that if someone cheats on you, it's not something that you did. And it's also not embarrassing to fall in love.

And it's also not embarrassing to be vulnerable and to give yourself to someone. And I think that this is a massive, like messed up narrative that we have in the media. It's like, think about when celebrity gossip, like when someone cheats on someone, it's always like, oh, like she's the old. women who like she got cheated on it's like no it's the fucking asshole dude who couldn't keep his dick in his pants like that should be the narrative yeah like even with jlo people being like how am i supposed to have a relationship if jlo gets cheated on it's like guess what because there are asshole dudes that will cheat on anyone it doesn't matter who you are how much money you have how beautiful you are exactly exactly it's about it's not something that gets done to you it's a it's

cheating is something that someone does and that's on them and that's their uh problem that they have to fix. And it's very painful. And yeah, you're going to get heartbroken in the fallout, but it's not something that you did. And I was like, I can't not, you know, use this opportunity to try and help other girls out there. And I respect that so much because you're like that person you follow on Facebook who one day just stops posting about their relationship. You're like, no, no, no, no, no, no. I need to know all the details. You gave the deeds. But you also were like, this isn't just me doing a shock factor thing it literally seemed like a therapeutic like we need to be in this together and i can't imagine the messages you must have got yeah it was i mean

i like recorded it i remember i was a friday afternoon i like whatever read the message came home i had to go to a birthday party that night and i was like i recorded the message and i was i watch it back and i was like i really have a choice like am i about to put this like sobbing fucking video on the internet and i was like yeah I am because if I help one girl out there who's feeling shitty about being cheated on or is so sad because she's heartbroken right now then that's okay and that's a win I mean it's crazy because yeah I have a fear that's like if all these guys don't like me then it's like are you not worthy in society because think of all the 17 magazines we read about like if these guys like you that means

you're worthy yeah when you're just like I'm actually a victim yeah of someone yeah have you been cheat on before no no do you think cheaters are always cheaters we're getting heavy um you know what i always say to my followers when they ask me this type of question i say people can change but you should not be the person who hangs around to see if they do and and that's really my bottom line so do i think they could change yeah would i personally ever give it another grow around absolutely fucking not i also would argue that they have to change themselves they have to change themselves yeah and it's just like yeah but i do i i fundamentally believe in the good in people i constantly see the best in people and i i expect people around me and i i honestly expect my

followers to be improving on themselves all the time i think that that's really really important to me so yeah i think that they can change but i'm not i'm not going to be the one to figure it out so powerful. I also read that you are notoriously a people pleaser. So you're not putting all your information out there for people to judge if they like it or not, which has become the internet, like literally physical likes and also the comments on your life. How has that affected your people pleasing personality of people who might just be like, I fucking hate you? Yeah, it's tough. I mean, I think to some extent all entertainers are sort of people pleasers or they have a little bit of that in them um but it it can be really tough um i think that with content i i am out a place where i'm

completely detached from the outcome i'm kind of like and i always tell people this they're like what are your tips for content creators just starting out and i'm like create what you want to see um and detach from the outcome and it's hard man because it's hard like it's as you said it's a numerical value like you're literally you put yourself out there and the internet says to get raced you're this many likes funny today you're this many comments funny today and that's it takes a while but you can you can straddle the bowl and you can be like okay i'm i'm on the rodeo now yeah that's what i imagine i'm like it took me a while like for the first like six months or so it was like oh my god like i was like i'm up i'm down i'm crying this is other and then i was

like I feel the happiest when I just make stuff that I think is funny or important or worthwhile and I put it out and it's like if it does well it does well if it doesn't it doesn't well well well what you said I would argue you can apply you should apply to your whole life yeah I grew up like as a tennis player where since I was like nine years old there was a ranking system right right or like you play someone and after the match no matter how hard you tried you were either a loser or a winner right so that was my whole mindset and I realized looking back what I would tell my younger self is I wish you enjoyed the journey of tennis more than the outcome of every match and you actually would have had better outcomes if you were enjoying the journey of it. And even like with my

comedy, I've taken out the like caring as much about what people are thinking or that kind of stuff because if they know you're enjoying it and you're enjoying the journey. And that's it. And then also you will make less mistakes in relationships because oh my God. I love the outcome of my friend being like who'd you fuck? And I like yeah. Yeah. But then internally like, Was it actually a fun date? Right. Was the journey with this guy healthy for you? So true.

So you just, you touched me. So true, man. Yeah, no, it's, it's, you got to detach. And exactly what you said, it's like, people can really tell if you're doing things because you love it. I really do think, like, especially now, people are laser focused on that. And it's just like, is the person having fun? Like, people can tell that I'm literally at my happiest, like, in my apartment alone,

making rich mom videos, like, for fun. And I think that that's why they resonate with people. So, yeah, do it because you love it and it will show. You've also had this, like, extreme spike from, like, people not really knowing who you are to, like, everyone knows who you are. Are you okay? Am I okay? No. I, you know, it is, it's a wild ride.

Was it what you might have manifested? Or is this, like, out of the realm of what you thought was possible? Gosh, I didn't ever think of myself. like an in front of the camera person until like I knew as soon as I started making videos I was like oh this is what I was supposed to do but I guess I didn't think about it in this uh man in this sort of like iteration because I didn't you know I was like I want to be a writer I want to like I want to create I always knew that I but I didn't think of this so it's been interesting it's then you found this little Mike yeah I found I found mini Mike and him and I just been fucking around for the past year we're going all the way baby um no but I'm very lucky i'm very grateful i just feel so um fulfilled and satisfied in my in my work life now which is something that i didn't find in my 20s and so again i always tell my father was like if you don't know what you want to be when you're when you're 22 when you graduate it's okay i had 19 different jobs before this one this job didn't exist for me like five years ago so just keep

going it's okay and it's almost like you don't appreciate what you're doing now if you hadn't had those shitty jobs like I was cold calling sales literally like marketing gigs where no one wanted to know your strategy right and you know what I bet those cold calling on sales help with your stand-up for timing and you know whatever like it all is leading to something and you don't always know what it is and that's okay I also want to know how kind of your life being more public especially as an LA person has affected your dating or friendships um well dating is a shit show now No, I'm just kidding. No, I believe you.

I like start crying. Has it got more complicated? It's more complicated. And anybody who says it's not more complicated is lying. Every guy compares themselves to dip low. Yes. And, well, I mean, L.A. is an interesting place because it's like for, like, my bottom line for all my followers is you need to be on the apps.

Like, that's sorry. That's how people meet. Like, you need to be on them. But for me, like, either the guy clicks on my profile and he sees, oh, she's like an influencer. like I want nothing to do with her or he clicks on my profile and he's like oh she didn't influence her oh she has a blue check mark oh she has followers like so it's like a bit tricky for me but to everybody else get your ass on the apps and start wiping because that's how you meet people um

but i yeah it's interesting it makes there's just a new like angle of complication yeah it's just a new it's a new angle that I'm still figuring out and anybody I date right now has to understand that, you know, there is space in my life for someone, but my followers are the most important thing to me right now. And my work is the most important thing to me right now. And I'm so like, as I just said, I'm so utterly grateful and fulfilled by my job right now that that's where a lot of my energy is going. But always open. Always open. It's funny because I was in that place, I'm not trying to say anything, but I was in that place where before I met my man's in that, Like, I was so in alignment with my career and I was so happy.

Right. And I was, like, FaceTiming dudes, like, during quarantine. I was talking. I had, like, my attention fulfilled, but I knew it wasn't going anywhere with certain people. But we ended up meeting, like, he had been following me on Instagram and we both were, like, in comedy. So it kind of was a natural progression. But I felt really authentic because I was doing something. Totally.

But, like, when you're going on the train, it's going to be harder maybe to date how you're, you used to be but like once a guy can keep up with that train totally it might be he might really stay and for you it's like you you met your fiance when you were in your like alignment as you said like one phrase that I love is water seeks its own level and it's so it's like you know you were just in total alignment so happy and then he met you at that point and it's like that's what you want to be when you want to meet someone is like you can't ask someone to love you till you love yourself until you're like you know in such a good place so that makes sense even if that place is chaotic or like really vulnerable all the time but you're right you can't date in the way

that we used to when we were like you know whatever how old are you are you right i'm 30 okay so my yeah yeah when i was on like a reality tv show i remember people started sending me like quotes on dating apps of stuff i said on a show and it immediately got me feeling weird not like oh they're fans but more like this guy thinks he knows me and i don't want to explain myself yeah yeah exactly and it's just it's like even if like I'm not saying I'm famous at all but it but at this point anybody who's like in L.A. or whatever who I get set up with has some preconceived notion of me and that's like that's so interesting because I think for blind dates or setups or whatever it's really good to not know anything about the person so it does add a little bit of a layer of like oh they've seen

me on Instagram or TikTok and I'm pretty like what you see is what you get but it's just always weird. It's so funny how L.A. you do have to work with like clout chasing guys which i think are everywhere but new york it's more like oh you're on a reality show like i don't want to fuck with that like finance guys who are like in illa they're like tag me i'm like we're at dinner oh my god no if a dude says tag me i'm dead oh there's like that hotness the guys who like don't even know how instagram works but like i'm telling you okay my new thing is like ratio horny like if i go to a guy's instagram and it's like following eight like zero pictures And they're all blurry.

And they're all like, and it's like 300 followers. I'm like, gross. Because they don't even understand what's going on. Yeah. Hot. So give me, a quick mental health check. Do you have a therapist? How's your anxiety?

How's depression? What's going on? I love my therapist. I talk about her all the time to my followers. I think therapy is so important. I would be nowhere without it. I've been in therapy for years in and out. But like for the past.

10 years on all every week like I've had different therapists but my one now is I'm literally obsessed with her I have no boundaries I'm always like I love you she's like okay talk to you next Wednesday I'm like say it back do you love me back um I struggle with anxiety I have for a while I think when all this started to happen for a while it did get really bad and I was just like whoa well I think that's important for people to hear because a lot of people are like if I could just have what tinks has I'd be so happy yeah it's it was it was my anxiety was so bad for a while it was honestly like this time last year because i started in may of 2020 and then around december i was like i'm gonna go full time like this is getting

really real and i was just like oh my god i'm so overwhelmed like there's so many comments and you know again i know you're not supposed to admit this because all the trolls out there listening will be like ha ha we're getting here but like sometimes the comments really get me they really hurt like i'll get a random dm or a random comment and it just like hits you the wrong way and you're like God like what did I ever do to you like if you don't like my stuff just scroll you don't have to tell me to like that I'm ugly and stupid and like a million other bad things like last December I had a really bad panic attack about mean comments and I called my therapist and I was like we need to make a plan because this is my path in life I've already decided that and I'm not

my anxiety is not going to let me go forth unless we have a plan so we like made this whole plan about like comments like how we're going to manage this like how we're going to like restructure our sessions so that I feel okay and um it's not the same cycle every week yeah so it's exactly because it everything like with with your mental health is like cyclical and it's like all about managing your triggers and like you know what you know when you're brain patterns 100% I'm here with you yeah so I literally am therapy's biggest fan it's my hope that one day we can get to a place where everybody can have someone to talk to um and And, yeah, a big fan.

It's funny because when people say mean comments in general, you're like, whatever, but people will say stuff about, like, your biggest insecurities. Totally. Like, imagine me sitting here looking at you and telling you every bad thing I think about you. Yeah. It's the kind of thing that, like, say it behind my back. For sure. Say it to your friend behind my back.

For sure. And I remember, like, I got engaged in the stuff people were saying in the comments. I'm like, everyone says that about people's engagements, but, like, say it to your friend on the phone. Text it to your friend. Yeah. And it's crazy to just be like, it's not even like Us Weekly article writing bad stuff about you. It's like literally the people saying it. Yeah.

And then when you see a lot of them, you're like, well, is that the truth? Yeah. So you're not alone. And for people listening and for the followers, like, think about why you post what you post. Oh, no. I fully believe hurt people, hurt people. The energy you're putting out. Yeah.

It's like if you literally, if your hobby is spreading negativity, then I'm, I'm, I'm, honestly not saying this in like a passive aggressive way like I do pray for you because your life must be so bad if that you literally wake up and make a finsta to send me a mean comment like if you have 25 minutes to do that honestly god bless you i will keep you my thoughts because jesus christ like that's really really bad so one thing that has helped me and i don't know if this is toxic or not but i'll see a comment that hurts so bad and there could be like five comments above it that are like we love yeah yeah but that comment hurts and i can't get it out of my mind you have to click on the person no you always have a hundred percent and then you will understand more deeply like

maybe they're struggling with this or or something like someone says something like that they don't think what i did was funny and they think i'm a bitch or whatever and i clicked on it and i'm like you know what if that person on the street this like 65 year old woman thinks my shit is vulgar not funny yeah i'm okay with that yeah but if i thought it was like a 25 year old girl who could be my friend who thinks i'm too vulgar i'm like did i cross a line totally no no no no so there's context of things that you lose when you just see these like photos like a little circle exactly you think you imagine it being like a really respectable human yeah saying that too yeah i i don't want to hate on haters but this that was my brain path that has helped me sometimes no i love that i love all the tips and tricks

i find that other people in the public eye content creators podcasters what have you they like i really i really lean on those my friends in that in that community because it's like you really like i love all my friend so much but like until you've had a stranger like make a fenceda to write you a really nasty know you don't know what it feels like and so i've i make a whole instagram profile hating on you yeah it's next level shit it's high school to the max yeah it's just like geez like what is wrong with you and i do when you said like it's my path it's my path for some reason i feel more free to speak on stuff and i feel like my voice can help people and i don't know why my loud ass mouth has decided I can be that for people and you have to decide do you want to live on a farm with goats

right or do you want to do your purpose which is going to have ups and downs but does that just make it more interesting yeah you you got to you got to take it the good with the bad it comes with the territory it really does and so that's why make a plan with your therapist and go about your day I'm obsessed with this you're very comfortable in hell I love it here we're gonna end with the final game called the seven deadly sins amazing with the one and only Thanks. Seven deadly sins. What are you greedy about?

Food. In the sense, I'll be specific. I'm very greedy about I can't wait. Like, if I get takeout, I eat it in my car. Or like, before we had before the pandemic, like, my friends, it would drive them nuts. Like, we would be walking to the grocery store and I'll, like, open a bag of chips and start eating it. Like, I cannot wait. to eat food it's about it's sometimes it's about temperature where it's like if I pick up food like

I want it to be hot um but I literally can't wait I'm so impatient like I'll start if my food gets first I'll eat it first like I can't wait so that's what I'm greedy about yeah I get that like I don't understand people who could have food in front of them and get distracted oh my god oh my fuck I even see people at coffee shop I'm like that coffee is full and it's been full for 20 minutes what are you thinking about no I will I'll like burn my mouth like if it's there I'm like I'm getting it in my mouth like I was literally laughing because it was the movies this weekend and of course you finish the popcorn and the candy before the movie starts but I was like I was looking around and I was hearing crunching halfway through the movie and it was dune so it was a long ass movie and I was like

oh my god you are animals like I hope you got a refill because if that is number one like you're not my people okay who are you envious of and it could be a type of person too um I have a good answer because I just answered this on my ask me anything someone asked me about like um how to plan a party and i am really bad host like party planner i am envious of the type of person who like has placemats and like can like plan ahead and throw a big christmas party basically rich mom like anybody who can throw a party without crippling under the fear of anxiety which i'm always like what if people don't come one of people have a bad time what if the drinks don't show up like i want to be one of those people who can throw a flawless party and

I'm envious of those people. I think they're so cool. I mean, there's so many mistakes that could happen. Even yesterday, I had the stand-up show and people came to my green room to hang out after. And I found myself sitting there being like, okay, is this friend having fun with it? It's not even my green room. And I'm like worried about the food. And then if someone like wasn't talking anyone, I'm like, should I go talk to them? No, I literally couldn't even enjoy my own like celebration. Yeah, I relate 100%. A slightly different than greedy. What do you gluttonous about? So what do you overindulgent? Do you have a guilty pleasure. Alcohol. Okay. I'm a big drinker. I'm really honest with my followers. I love to drink.

What's your go-to? I drink Blanco, modeled with fresh lime, um, and jalapenos with a tahine rim. Were you always so knowledgeable about what you liked? I am very, I'm very decisive and I'm very specific. I'm never like, I feel mediocre about that. I'm either like, I fucking love that or like I don't want anything to do with it. Because I feel like people love to watch people who at least know they know something. yeah i i know what i like immediately are you like like what's your type with men i like funny guys i like guys who don't take themselves too seriously and you know what for my whole life i was always like i don't care like you know and i i've actually mainly dated short guys but recently i've been like a tall guy okay and it's okay for me to say that i love a little six four i'm warning you

tall men are not always kind no they're never kind sure men are not always kind even i have like a whole thing about how I only fuck with tall guys like my hinge app was like six two and up like it's toxic shit my thing is I realize now it's not tall versus short it's the energy they bring it's totally it's the energy they bring yeah because sometimes short guys it's like

it's honestly big dick energy versus small dig energy and it doesn't really matter how tall they are and some short guys have big oh my god yes which we love the thing with tall men is sometimes it's like pretty privilege where they haven't learned how to like have empathy sometimes I listen to people because they're just fucking tall

and every girl when they hug them their face hits their dick and it's easy I always say like any guy above an eight is flawed because he just his frontal lobe didn't develop because he was too attractive and so he's like there's a there's a really good looking people

it's okay if they're really good looking but make sure it was later in life that they became like or at least make sure they were bullied for something 100% and I mean that in the most positive way right like pretty decent good bullying yeah we need yeah you got to you got to have some perspective yeah 100% um when was the last time you experienced extreme wrath or anger it's you have an angry um spicy side mm no i don't i don't i mean god i can't think are you more of a crier i cry a lot um i love to cry it's so fun

i cry i cry is like a hobby i'm so jealous i'm bad at the feeling my feelings thing i don't cry about like my life or feeling sad or anything i'm very moved by the arts so like for example i cry at every concert i cry a lot in movies but not not at the sad parts i cry this is going to make me sound i cry because i get so moved thinking about all the people who made the movie and like i was just at the rolling stones and you know watching them be so passionate you know and having played for so long and being so talk about alignment like aligned with what they want to do on earth makes me very emotional so i cry at that i cry at really weird things but yes i cry as a hobby i don't really know if i get what when is the last time i got angry i i'm very impatient

that's how my anger manifests is it i'm extremely impatient and i can be like you'd fit in in new york i know i love i love the people well you'll be by coastal now for sure i lived in new york for two years Yeah. But listen, it's such an annoying, ongoing conversation that coastal people have. Like, what's better in New York or L.A.? Like, let me tell you something. The answer is very clear. The lifestyle is better in L.A. The people are better in New York. That's all there is to it. Next question. Next question. Honestly, she nailed it. Agreed. Anyone disagreed? Nope. Okay. When was the last time you were a sloth? So like, no content woke up. We're like, I'm not doing shit today. I have posted a TikTok every day for over a year. On average, three TikToks. I haven't missed a day of Instagram, which is not good.

And I hate when people, and I don't like that girl boss, like, no days off. Like, I think that's awful and toxic and actually detrimental to creativity. But TikTok's, like, fun. Yeah. I'm a sloth sometimes. Do you have a fear of missing a day? Maybe. I don't know.

So far, I haven't wanted to. Yeah. Yeah. I hear like if you want to grow, you have to put out every day. I'm just being honest. I don't know. Maybe. Do you ever delete posts? Yeah. I actually did. Um, a few of them. When I was first getting started, I did a lot more celebrity recapping. And I, I know you'll understand this. It's very, it's, well, it's not very, but it's easier to be mean and funny. It's harder to be smart and funny. And I think when I was starting out and I was on TikTok and I was on TikTok and I was. was just fucking around. I was sometimes mean. Yep. Um, and I'm, I'm not only okay with talking about it. I'm happy to talk about it because people change and you learn and you grow. And that's something I learned very quickly. Like, I was like, why was I so mean to this celebrity? Like, what did they ever do to me? It's okay to make a joke. But the joke has to be funny and smart. Like just calling

someone's dress like fucking heinous isn't funny. Or just jumping on a bandwagon when everyone's making fun of someone. Totally. Oh my God. My perspective changed so much since like sometimes being the butt of it. Where you realize, like, it's so much more complex and how much it sucks. So, I mean, my friend Paige and I have a podcast called Gagley Squad. We've talked about some of your theories on it. Yeah. And we love the box theory and stuff.

So, and I remember when we talk about celebrities now, because we have like a front page news thing, we go, we don't know them. Yeah. We don't know who this person is. Right. And they're probably fucking awesome. Right. And this is our two cents on what happened. Right.

With the disclaimer, this person, we don't know at all. And I think that's right. And I think that's right. starting to change the narrative with that yeah because you're so right i could be so funny being like this fucking bitch what a stupid bitch yeah yeah it's just like it's so so yes i've deleted posts and i and i should probably go back and do another scrub because i'm constantly growing and and i think that there are some posts that i wasn't proud of and there were some opinions and and also listen like as i said i've posted three tic tic tic tic for a year i'm dyslexic but that's a fuck ton of

content i post i post 20 instagram stories a day every every day so so did i make mishaps 100% am i going to continue to make mistakes 100% but i own it i say sorry and people would rather you keep creating content that being scared and stop and for like editing as you go yeah yeah it's funny because i've actually had so many incredible people on this pot who are dyslexic and i feel like your brains work so special it's it's it's uh yeah it's a thing i think someone said like that it's well we're compensating for something um do you ever watch the bachelor about Jaret. You know, I did for a while. Are you familiar with Jared and Ashley I? Yes, yes, yes. Okay, so I had them on my pod. They're so cute. And I asked them about your theory. Oh my God. Because are you

familiar with Jared and Ashley how she was obsessed with him. I remember. Yeah. I vaguely remember this. He was like kind of into it and then he just got turned off and he was like, I'm not into this. She cried the whole time. Yeah. They like became friends. Yeah. And he kind of got to know her more off camera. And then he fell in love with her. Yeah. And I basically was like, guys tinks does not approve of this this doesn't make any sense and he was like oh he started talked about like bubbles but i i lost him at some point i'm dead i need to listen here's what i'll say there is there exceptions to every rule 100% assume you're the rule okay for your own mental health i think like for your own mental health assume you're the rule if a guy is literally like

no i'm not into you like assume that's good and walk away and then you know invoke the men always come back where their lives get worse clause, which is another thing I say all the time. There's, there's a lot of clauses and rules and there are, but I also think I love that I'm addressing this with the OJ creator of the rule. I think that when reality TV is involved, it fucks it up because he has produces in his ear. 100%. He's thinking of how he's going to last on the show. Ashley is under so much pressure.

It's, they fell in love off the show in a way more natural way where he immediately hit off. So I think that is the answer. For sure. When was the last time you let your pride or your ego? get in the way of something how's your ego I you know for me ego is um I always tell my followers this but when I go to look at the comments that's ego and I'm very very cognizant out there and that was part of the plan that when I you know that I spoke about my therapist

where she was like when you go to read like when you go comment diving and you just go into a hole for 25 minutes that's your ego because you're looking for simultaneously like the constantly like you're amazing you're amazing you're amazing but your ego's also looking for the one negative comment because it's that like that's the thing that's really going to make you go ooh like whatever so it's like anytime i go to the comments i'm like mr ego let's rein it in bro like get back in the fucking car we're going home because this is what this is you the main fights i had with my partner was when my reality show was airing and i was having like a very hard time in a specific like storyline that they were showing yeah and I would walk I'd be like I'm falling apart

and he goes were you in the comments and I'm like yes because I'm human and his whole thing was like don't be in the comments but I was like I'm human but now I'm realizing like yeah you were being so human in your ego like I wanted to watch the car crash and he's like you know the car is but I just want to see how bad the crash is no and you and your ego like lies to your ego is like my ego is always like well you should know in case there's some like feedback to help you make better content you know the only place that I've ever known how to steer my content is in here and in here I don't need any comments I don't need any feedback and it is also it's the outcome yeah 100% and so my ego anytime I go to the comments

that's him and I'm like lock it up he's a man he's mystery well I talk I like use those to you know talk about my followers and I think it's like everybody deals with things their own way I deal a lot with humor. I'm like, Mr. ego, Mr. anxiety. Like, they're always,

they're always, they're the fuck boys in my life. They keep coming back and I'm like, guys, you know, whatever, got to keep in check. But at least you know, they're not you. They're not your voice in your head.

They're not your authentic self. And as someone who likes to like, be alone at times, creating content, now that you have followers, which is money to brands, and you're being asked to be everywhere, are you liking going to events?

Do you have any anxiety with it? Do you feel pressure to be a type of way at these events? because you're a full L.A. Yeah. Like New York, you kind of like dip around a little more where L.A. it's, um, lights, camera action. I, I definitely have social anxiety going to events.

Um, now I'm just being completely honest. Like, now literally they'll allow me to bring a friend or my assistant or my publicist. And that is a massive help for me because walking into an event alone is just like, oh my God. You're just like, Jesus, this is really too much. I feel like everyone's looking at you. like everyone's looking at you and like and like the thing is no one is and like actually so much of the time you'll meet people you'll meet other influencers in LA and like everybody's the same like

it's really funny every influencer has so much anxiety and is so much like you know whatever but walking to event is a lot but yeah I mean the the old schedule has been packed lately and I I do need time to plug into the wall so to speak yeah and just like vibe out and what's your sign I'm a Virgo we love so yeah I'm um a Virgo moon Oh, what is your main sign? Leo. Oh, I should have known. And then I was Scorpio Rising.

Wild, right? Wild. I love it. It's cool. Thank you. Did you get that happy? Okay, final question. You're doing amazing.

When was the last time you lusted over someone? Oh, my God. I can't believe I'm going to tell this story, but... Wait. well I this isn't like lust but I got set up with this guy I haven't even told my followers this yet I got set up with this guy and we were supposed to go to we're supposed to go to dinner this week and this is just my life like sometimes people think that it can't be real but anyway Saturday morning I'm at a gas station looking like ass I just done Pilates I was like

socks and sandals bun no makeup glasses like beat to hell and this cute guy comes up and he's like your tanks right and i was like oh it's a pan like yes some tanks and he was like i'm blah we're going to dinner this week and i was like oh i'm like what are the freaking odds that i run into you at a gas station it's ballsy of him to go up to you i would have been like i would have like watched you and be like what you like no totally um but he was very cute so it's not full lust but it's it's something that i'm excited to go on and do with him. Also, when he sees you, like, with your face done up and shit, he's going to be like, okay. I'm like, do you still want to go on the date? And I'm just kidding. No, but I love that he saw you in this like raw climate. Same. And I'm more like,

I mean, I love to get my makeup done and I love to dress up, but I'm in, I like to be casual. So it's always good to. So anyway, not full lust, but excited. Good for you. I also, there's certain people that make you feel hot with no makeup on yeah you feel prettier with no makeup on and the other thing is like a little dessert yeah a hundred a little highlight yeah okay wrapping it up we've gone over so many things this has been so fun what advice would you give to the little devil's listening on what to do to cope with your hell when you're going through it when it's dark what's your go too um i'm going to give a very practical but unsexy um tip which is that routine really helps if you're going through it um whatever it may be depression anxiety um just a hard time at work

you feel like you're in a slump routine has saved me many a time um and by that i mean get on a schedule get up at the same time even if you literally even if you don't find can't find a job and you're just like in your tiny apartment and you're like what the fuck is going on i've freaking been there get up at the same time every day go on a walk get a coffee send promise yourself you're going to send three emails promise yourself you're going to call one friend a day write the list tick them off and just get on a routine and it will really give you stability and it will and it will give you something to shape whatever you're going through around if that makes sense checking stuff off list gives me orgasms totally and it could even be writing a list and yeah no 100%

It's like, it can be, it can be so small. Your routine doesn't have to be some crazy, like, insane military style. Yeah, it can just be wake up, go for a 10-minute walk to get fresh air, get a coffee, start your day. And I promise you, if you do that for two weeks straight, you will have a sense of stability that helps you with whatever you're going through. Wow, wow, wow. Tinks, where can people follow you? Where can people watch you? Give me the goods.

At Tinks on TikTok. At It's Me Tinks on Instagram. I love you all. Thank you for having me. this was such a fun conversation like it was such a I always say that podcasting is kind of like dating where it's like if you sit down and the person's like so where are you from you're like god fucking damn it's gonna be a long two hours sometimes but I like it when people sit down they're like so have you ever experimented with BDSM like what let's go baby and then you're like

anal oh yeah so thank you for a very you're a very fabulous interviewer and you're so thank you for having me I appreciate that look at me turning into L.A. gal now um thank you guys for listening. We'll talk to you in hell later. Bye.