Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole Is Only Getting Smoother

Episode Date: September 11, 2024

This week Nicole shows Sasheer her “floor money” and smooth limbs. Then, the two retell the story of the time they did not realize their plane had landed, and answer listener letters on how to deal with a stingy friend and a friendship break up that involves kids. (This description is to be read in the style of Mark Wahlberg) Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

Hello! Hi! Are you on your period? Yes. I'm not. Okay. Way, way to brag. Sorry about it. I'm not bleeding. Yeah. That's why I get more acne when I'm bleeding. I get acne leading up to the blood. Yeah. The blood. To the bleeds. It can be the bleeds. Ew. I don't want it anymore, but I don't want perimenopause.

For sure. And I just, I don't want it. It seems bad. Hot flashes. No, thanks. A lot of weird stuff happens, too. Some people lose their hair. Some people are just particularly dry down there.

Dry? Yeah. And a litany of other things. I don't want to use lube. Yeah. That's like an extra step. I don't want to use lube. Yeah. That's like an extra step. I don't want to use lube. Well, I mean, I don't think it's happening anytime soon.

Hopefully. Knock on wood. You didn't knock on wood. I did. I lightly tapped. I didn't want to get into the... You want to use lube? I do.

You do? I know that I do want to use lube. I do use lube. Oh. I just... lube. Oh. I just, lube is an extra step. I got to keep lube around too? Yeah. Well, you know, as a dry girl, it's okay to use lube.

Sorry. Representing for the dry girls. It's okay. I didn't mean to shame your dryness. How dare you? I'm sorry. I guess lube is fine. Lube is fine. I don't want it. It's okay. I just want to stay juicy. I hope that for you too. I wish and pray that for you.

I found three dollars today. Oh my God. At the same time? Yeah. Hold on. Are you going to show them to me? I know what a dollar looks like. Why are you pulling things out of your bag? It's really fun. I understand the concept of what dollars are.

They're not even in your wallet. You took your wallet out and they're not in there? One. Right. Two. Three. Wow. And I took pictures of where I found them.

Why? So you can go back in case there's more money there? No. Well, the first one was so shocking. Yeah. I was like, a dollar. Well, wait, where did you find it? Outside on the ground.

On the sidewalk? This is floor money. I found it on my walk with Clyde. Oh. All three of those dollars were on the walk yes in different places interesting isn't it wild that makes me think of like a cartoon character who's like money's just flying out of their pockets and they don't even know about it it was folded too so one was folded yeah and then like four steps later one was folded. Yeah. And then like four steps later, one was folded. And like six steps later, another one was folded.

Are you sure this wasn't a trap? No. What if someone was breadcrumbing you with dollars? They would have gotten me. Yeah. But they didn't get me. I think I wonder if like a few more steps there would have been like an actual trap. Maybe. But you were like, three's enough for me.

I'm going home. I did look in like the park and stuff to see if there was any more and there wasn't oh wow so they could if they were in the park they would have gotten me yeah well what do you think they want it with me i don't know i don't want to get taken i also don't want you to get taken oh my god how would anybody find me do you think they would take clyde too will we get taken together I also don't want you to get taken. Oh my God. How would anybody find me? Do you think they would take Clyde too? Will we get taken together? I sure hope so.

You need a buddy. I do need a buddy. But like if they just take me and leave Clyde, how would Clyde get home? Yeah. Does Clyde have a key? No, but I left the door unlocked because we were on a walk. So I mean, theoretically he could get in. Oh, that's good.

That's good. Or do you think they would take Clylyde and not me oh no that would suck so sure i would be devastated that more that you didn't get taken or that they just took your dog both that i wasn't chosen and clyde was yeah and clyde is gone now mm-hmm whoa but maybe like a specific like dog napper who like sells dogs to other black market customers oh my god i don't want that i don't want him to get sold oh my god maybe it was a trail of money to lead to this house that's for sale down the street you're like do you want to feel rich come by this house but i didn't go all the way down to the house because I already toured it last week. Oh, how was it? Not great. Yeah. It's

really expensive and like the wood on the staircases didn't match. Oh, that sucks. And I was like, what? You didn't finish this house. And it's been under construction for a really long time. Yeah. And there's a dumb pool in the back. Why is it dumb? It's so small. Oh, we don't like that. It's too small.

And then there's two dungeon bedrooms i was like what is this wait what do you mean you gotta go down the stairs and there's no um windows and then dungeon bedroom oh no and then other stairs done there was too many stairs in this house i mean it was built into a cliff but but I said, me oh my. Stairs to get to the front door and then stairs to get to your bedroom? I don't like that. I'm watching Desperate Housewives right now. It's a great show. And I got to the part where Alfre Woodard has brought her family to the neighborhood.

And she locks her son in the basement. I mean, it's not funny, but. It's not funny, but it's crazy. I was like, this show is already wild. But what is this? And there's episodes where it's just like, I guess Susan's going to the doctor because she has a wandering spleen. But I was like, isn't there still a murderer on the block? I'm so confused.

There's so much going on in this show. Yes. Everyone's a murderer. Everyone's a murderer. It is a delicious show. I need to revisit it because I watched it in its first run. Yeah. And I loved it.

I am enjoying it fully. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Mark Cherry, I believe, is the man who created it. Sure. That sounds right. Yeah. Yeah.

He needs to do more. What is he doing now? I don't know. Just look at what Mark Cherry's up to. Can you look at what Mark Cherry's up to? Can you look at what Mark Cherry's up to? I don't know what show I'm going to. Well, right now I'm doing Entourage. And then I think I'm going to go back to Sex and the City.

Great. And then I think Veep is my next watch. Oh, nice. I've only seen like a couple episodes here and there of Veep. And it's funny. Never seen it. It's very funny. I've only seen bits and pieces.

Oh, Why Women Kill. I've heard of that. Me too. Devious Maids. I've only seen bits and pieces. Oh, Why Women Kill. I've heard of that. Me too. Devious Maids. Heard of that too. Oh, Mark Cherry loves an evil woman. He does. Ooh, Mark Cherry.

Wow, that was on for a while. Almost 10 years. Disperse, Swipe, Swipe. Yes. Oh. 2004. Good for all of them. To 2012.

Yeah. Oh. 2004. Good for all of them. To 2012. Yeah. Wow. I would like Mark Cherry to write me something where I'm murdering. Mark Cherry? Mark, if you're listening. So Sharon and I would like to murder. Do you want to murder with me? Oh, yes.

Okay. Our pilot episode. I find $3 on the ground and then murder somebody. I don't know. But is it in self-defense or? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe there was a confusion or? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Maybe there was a confusion. Something happened. Yeah. Someone was like, give me my money back. And I was like, pop, pop, pop. You had a gun the whole time? Oh my God. And it's self-defense because I got to keep my money.

For $3? You killed someone for $3? I'm sure people have killed for less. They definitely have. Unfortunately. That's murder. Oh my goodness unfortunately that's murder oh my goodness murder um you has come to a close you on netflix yeah um i can't wait to see this new season i can't wait to see what they cooked up yeah same when does that come out jazz jazz can't you anticipate what we're asking yeah why don't you know what's going

on how do you think it'll end i mean with the way last season went i feel like joe's gonna like confess or something and try to like redeem himself but i don't want him to i wanted to go out on a cliffhanger of him stalking another woman and putting her in a glass box that's what i came for yeah oh it hasn't been announced yet boo boo because i think they're filming now like i feel like i saw a video no he filmed his last day he did a demure video that's's what I saw. Oh. But that was like days ago. Right? Yes, but it was his last day of filming. So you're editing it now. Tell me when it's coming out. But you know how production

works. I sure do. They just finished. I know. I know. But I just, I'm thirsty and hungry for it. I want it in my life. Have you seen the Demure things? The Very Mindful, Very Demure thing the very mindful very demure thing yeah it's everywhere now it's so it's wild it's pretty wild i missed the iteration of it i just saw it

being all over the place oh really and then i finally found a video that was like here's the original video and i was like oh okay i mean yeah it's funny's funny. But it's everywhere. It is everywhere. Yeah. I, like, got to it, I don't know, the day after it was, like, everywhere. And then I saw J-Lo made a video. And people were like, now it's done. I was like, man. She's gone too far.

J-Lo can't catch a break. I know. I actually genuinely feel bad for her. Me too. She's had a tough year. Like, everyone needs to ease up. She released a documentary and a movie that everyone told her not to about the greatest love story never told. And then it did poorly. And then she canceled her tour. And now she's divorcing the greatest love of the story never told. Yeah. This is a tough year for her. Yeah. I think we need to be demure and mindful and leave her alone.

Yeah. Everyone's being so mean. Yeah. Yeah, I watched the, I didn't watch the documentary when it first came out. I watched it, like, days ago. Mm-hmm. And it's actually so sad because you know she's going to break up with Ben Affleck. Mm-hmm. And she's talking about like

how he sees her in a way that no one else sees her and she's like you know people see our relationship and they believe in love which is true because when they got back together people were like oh my god love wins love exists I believe in love again and she's so she feels like responsibility to display it and be like look if i can do it you can but then it and then but then she didn't yeah and then it didn't happen and then it didn't happen and it turns out it is the greatest love story never told it should have been never told it never happened i guess oh poor j-lo there was a part in the documentary where because ben affleck is also speaking in the he's just he's around being being a supportive husband.

And I was like, oh, like when they were interacting together, I was like, it did work in some way. Of course, I'm sure I had problems. But like, yeah, there are moments where he was like, yeah. So I gave her a box of letters that he wrote her like 20 years ago. I gave her a box of letters that he wrote her like 20 years ago and then like 20 years later and was like, you know, and he titled it Greatest Love Story Never Told. And then she showed the letters to all the producers who helped make the album. And he was like, yeah, when she told me that, I was a little confused because I was like, I thought this is the greatest love story never told. And it seems like you're telling it.

He's like, yeah, the words just aren't adding up. The math's not math. And for me, old Benny here, I was standing in line at Dunkin' Donuts. And I was like, why would she show people the letters? But honestly, okay, I said we're not picking on J-Lo. But you got to keep some stuff for yourself. Yes would have been ideal you know yeah there has to be some sort of sanctity for your partnership yes not everything's for everyone no also ask yeah would it have killed her to ask him to be like do you mind if i write something like this but also i'm not looking to JLo for love stories I am looking

to shake my booty I am looking to to dance yeah I'm looking to wait for tonight I'm ready to be on the six I'm looking to be Jenny from the block I'm looking for somebody else's vocals on hit songs. You know? It's what I'm looking for. But I'm being very demure and very mindful. I'm not coming for her. You're being so demure and so mindful. When does this come out? This is going to come out like weeks,

a month after the meme is done. Yes! 9-11! How are you celebrating your 9-11? I will be in New York. Oh, wait! You said, let me get there. I gotta see Ground Zero. Oh, well, what day are you flying?

I'm flying on the 7th, so I'll already be there. Okay, if you were on one of those flights do you think you would have been helpful um well you know because mark walberg famously was like i would have taken him down that's my mark walberg i want to take him down i don't know if i was on that flight it's marky mark it's marky Don't worry. I want to take them down. I want to put on my Calvins and tackle them down. I don't think I'm making this up. Jess, can you confirm that Mark Wahlberg talks like that? One, talks like that.

Two, said he would take down the people who hijacked the planes during 9-11. I mean, I don't doubt it. He seems like a man who has so much confidence in himself that he does believe he would prevent a terrorist attack on a whole country. Mm-hmm. He said, there would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin.

And then me saying, okay, we're gonna land somewhere safely. Don't worry. Not only would he he beat the shit out of those stairs, he would have landed in a plane? He would have landed in a plane.

Mark Wahlberg said, my life is a movie. I think it kind of is. Entourage is based off his life, isn't it? I think so. He's got a movie worth his life.

I guess he does. Oh, boy. I think I would have been not helpful. Yeah. I think I would have been like, hey, no, come on. Come on.

We all have places to go. That's your concern. Don't do this now. We got places to go. Kind of. Yeah. Like, you're going to inconvenience me with this, like, plan? Yeah.

That's annoying. I also wonder, I don't know when it would have clicked in, like, what's happening. Because it's such a wild thing for someone to even get up out of their seat and approach the cockpit. And then was there a tussle? Like, you know, I don't think I would process, like, what is happening? You're right. We both would have sat there quietly. Do you remember when we thought a plane was making turns in the sky? Yes were like oh my god this feels so unsafe why is this plane doing this are

we gonna land okay the plane had been landed when was driving to the gate it was really crazy i don't know how and we were both awake i have no idea how we didn't clock the landing of the plane, but we just took a hard left turn. We were like, did this plane turn in the air? That is not okay. And we were like, why is nobody else freaking out about this plane making a left-hand turn? It was so wild. Wow, that was scary.

It was scary. And I think about it every so wild yeah wow that was scary it was scary and i think about it every so often when the plane does turn on the ground i'm like i can't believe i thought this plane was flying yeah the last plane i was on when it landed i was like how did i ever think a plane could do that maneuver in the air and i would feel it but But it just landed so softly. Whoa. Between 1973 and 2001, they were roughly 20 to 40. Well, that's a big difference. Plane hijackings per year worldwide. Wow.

Whoa. What happened after 2001? The TSA. Yeah. the TSA yeah so Cody just sent over that there's a flight risk official movie trailer

out with Marky Mark oh we've seen it where he's bald Mark Bald bald. Mark Baldworg. Yes. Mark Baldworg! Oh my god! Hey everybody! Yes!

I would like to see an opening night. I don't really co-sign Mark Wahlberg. He's done some bad things in the past just hit up his Wikipedia he has hate crimes on his record and that's just I'm being very demure and very mindful

these are facts but I will go see that opening weekend yeah same when does that come out? Jess? obviously that was the next question I did this what? obviously Yes. Obviously, that was the next question. I did this.

What? Obviously. What? Conjuring spell. Goodness. Obviously. October 18th, 2024. Spooky.

Upsetting. I'll be in New York. Isn't that wild that I know that? That you know where you'll be? Yeah. I never know where I'm going to be. That actually is surprising. Yes.

Yeah. I'm proud of you. We're a ways from October. Yeah, but I where I'm going to be. That actually is surprising. Yes. Yeah. I'm proud of you. That's nuts. We're a ways from October. Yeah, but I know I'm going to be in New York. Yeah. It's August. No, it's September 11th. Never forget!

What are you doing in New York? I'm doing a show. Oh, nice. You want to come? Maybe. Maybe. Oh, yes. I actually, I'll be in New York in October, I think the last week of October.

What are you doing? I'm doing a show, too. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. Oh, boy. Wow. We've had lots of laughs. Do you guys want to see a demure video, a different one?

Yeah. Sure. I really do like her. She's very funny to me you see how i do my hair to go hung over to the cvs on the las vegas strip after i've had a crazy night out very demure very mindful very considerate i don't show my lace that's covered in throw up and bronzer a lot of you ladies do way too much to go to the cvs you see me my spray tan blotching off very demure very mindful i have taco bell refried

i don't do too much i don't go too hard i show up as i am you know what i mean very mindful you see how i dress a little foundation on the shirt a little beer a little tequila i don't do too much i don't overdress. Ladies, let's be mindful while we're at the CVS. This is not the Met Gala. I just think she's so funny. I love it. Great tips.

They are great tips. Yeah. Very demure, very mindful, very cutesy. Don't do too much. I love it. I agree, though.

I don't want to see people dressed to the nines at CVS. Know where you are. Do you know? Yeah. Be aware. Because, like, it makes other people feel bad when they look nice? No.

Okay, so the way you dress for a CVS is not the same way you dress for dinner that you dress for a movie. Like, just know where you're going to be. Okay, but. Meh? What if I'm stopping by CVS on the way to dinner? CVS is an errand day. And then maybe I have a movie after dinner. What are you doing?

You're going to CVS to buy products that are going to melt in your car while you're at the movies? Are you going to buy medication? Maybe I'm buying cotton swabs. Why? Because I need to use toner on my face later that night and I ran out of cotton swabs. So why wouldn I need to use toner on my face later that night and I ran out of cotton swabs.

So why wouldn't you stop at CVS on the way home? Because maybe it's closed. Actually, no. Don't stop at CVS on the way home. Don't.

CVS is a it's a different day. A whole different day? That's your errand day. You go to the post office. You go to CVS. You go to maybe the gym.

You go to the supermarket. These are the places that you can wear the thing the same things to okay wait i got another one okay let's say you're going to the met gala yes you're going there alone and single then you meet a guy and you're like oh shoot like i'm gonna go home with him but i don't have any condoms he should have condoms also if we'm going to go home with him, but I don't have any condoms. He should have condoms. Also, if we're going to the Met Gala, we could probably send somebody to get condoms for us. Yeah, my army of people working for me will go get the condoms. I should have a team around me. Someone can figure this out.

But I do like the idea of someone alone getting ready by themselves. Like, oh no! Sipping themselves up in their couture. And then being like, huh, who's going to get me my things? Was it, didn't Jane Fonda, I don't know if it was the Met Gala. She slept in her dress. Yeah, she slept in her dress because no one could unzip it for her. And she was like, I've never wanted a man more than this.

Well, and here's the thing. I don't want to get old. I don't want to lose the dexterity of being able to unzip myself out of a dress. I don't want that either, yeah. I hope you stay very dexterous and very wet for the rest of your life. Very dexterous. Very wet. Very cutesy. Yeah. I don't want to get old. I simply don't want it. But I think if you like take care of yourself now, that stuff will be like prevented. now that stuff will be like prevented it's wild or staved off the longer you stay alive that's annoying preventative shit is annoying i know i just started wearing lotion on my arms why you

don't need it but there's feel how much smoother i am wow i almost slid off my chair sick yeah you're already very smooth i'm'm smoother. That's crazy. I recently had someone rub me and go, do you shave your arms? And I said, no. It is wild. There's no hair there. No. It's all smooth.

Yes. Wild. And I'm getting smoother as days go by. You want to feel my legs? Sure. Oh, my God. Isn't that smooth? That's so smooth.

Isn't that wild? Yeah. I't that smooth? That's so smooth. Isn't that wild? Yeah. I am so smooth. Are you turning into a fish? Wait, your legs are just smooth without shaving. Correct. I don't shave my legs. I don't shave my arms.

Do you want to touch me? Wow, that's such a blessing. Jordan, would you like to touch too? I know. Wait, here, get in here oh just those legs just those legs isn't it unreal okay touch my leg i just shaved oh see that's pretty smooth but it's not as smooth as me no one's as smooth as you that's pretty smooth but not as smooth as me i did a podcast recently where i asked the host to touch my arms and i think they were like that's enough of her like i just i didn't i it's not that i didn't feel welcomed anymore but they're just like i don't know they're like oh she's strange i don't think they like could understand how to read me maybe they thought i was a trap oh maybe like the

dollars like the dollars yeah touch my arms. I'll cancel you. I can't believe you touched me. How dare you? Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, maybe you're turning into a fish. Or a seal. Oh, my God. I'd rather be a seal.

Those are fun. Arr, arr, arr. Whoa, wait. Is that Nicole? That's the sound they make, right? Yeah, yeah. Arr, arr. I think, yeah. Is that Nicole? That's the sound they make, right? Yeah, yeah. Or, or. I think, yeah.

Yeah. Can we find a video of a seal to verify the sound? Just to confirm that, like. Oh, we never figured out Mark Wahlberg talks that way. But also, I believe it. Oh, yeah, he does. Oh, my God. Oh, they're so cute.

But we need to know what sound they make oh yeah maybe we should look for seal seal sounds yeah see if there's a an hour-long video of it the relaxing seal um my friend's son was making animal noises at me over zoom it was the cutest thing in the whole world for an elephant he went and i was like oh my be a kid. Yeah. And to have that be the pinnacle of what you need to know. Yeah. But it's like, why do children need to know? I don't know if they need to know. But why do we teach them that? So they can identify it? If they're in the jungle by themselves and they hear a, and they're like, that's an elephant. Maybe, but also it's like cats go meow. Why does a child need to know that?

Well, you know, eventually they need to know more stuff. So I think it's like not a bad idea. Would you like to grow up not knowing that a cat goes meow? I mean, I guess I would meet a cat and go, oh, it goes meow. I wouldn't be like, this cat's talking or not talking to me. It's an animal. Maybe it's more for them to be able to speak or like use words. And that's like just simple concepts that they can get.

The more I think about it, it's good kids know that cats meow. That's exactly what you sounded like. Wait, I can't really tell. Which was the call? Which was the call and which was the scene? Wow, that was fun for me. Would you rather be a seal or a sea lion? Because there's a difference.

One's furry and one's not. Which one's smooth? I think the seal is the smooth one. Can I see a seal and a sea lion side by side? And then I can make a proper choice. Because then I'll know what it looks like.

For sure. You know? I don't want to pick the ugly one. I only want to be a cute animal. Right, right, right. Oh my goodness. They're both really cute. Okay, a seal has an ear hole.

No flappy. Ew. Why did they call that? That's nasty. A sea lion has an ear with a flap. A seal has fur on the flippers and claws galore. And a sea lion

has skin on the flippers with really short claws. A seal cannot rotate and flops on its belly. A sea lion can rotate and walk on land. Whoa. A sea lion barks loudly and a seal grunts softly so maybe i'm in i think i would like to be a seal they seem to be more mobile and louder

no i think the sea lion is the one that can oh i'm sorry oh okay then i want to be a sea lion what do you want to be maybe a seal so I can grunt softly just soft little grunts oh my goodness have you seen a seal show at an aquarium

no they put on shows oh they put on shows no I have not I tend to not do like those types of shows because we went and saw dolphins once and i was like crying the whole time because i was like are they happy um i just worry i worry about animals in captivity yeah it's not the best but also here's a terrible thought it's like well they're already in captivity so like why not go see them right it's only we're kept i'm not captivizing i'm not in charge of captivating my brain stopped i was like what is the

capturing we're not capturing them we're not we're not keeping them the zoo is yeah they're just gonna go to waste if we don't see them they'll be sad because nobody's coming and then they can't go back into the wild because they're so accustomed to captivity okay where is the seal show at an aquarium do you think they play a kiss from a rose oh for because of the musician seal i hope so yeah Yeah. I hope Seal actually makes a tour stop to every aquarium in the country. Be like, yep, I'm also Seal. That's me.

There's a kiss from a rose. You know they advertise that as a song from Batman? It's not. It's just in the credits. At no point is it played during the movie. But I guess it's like, you's just in the credits. At no point is it played during the movie. But I guess it's like, you know, in the soundtrack, they made it for Batman, the movie. They made it for the credits, and that's not the movie. But I guess the production of it paid for it to be.

I guess if you're going to nickel and dime me, yeah, it's a part of the soundtrack of the movie. Yeah. But it's not in the movie. Well, Batman's not a musical. No. But it's not in the movie. Well, Batman's not a musical. No, but there's songs in the movie. Name a song from Batman the movie. I don't know the underscoring of a scene where it's like, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo.

Was that Pink Panther? I don't know. You know when there's like music under scenes and stuff? Well, you can't advertise that. That can't be the single that's released on the radio to advertise the Batman movie. I guess you're right. Well, okay. What is my heart?

Is someone talking to you in your headphones? What just happened? Where did you go? Mid-talking, I had a thought and it blew me away. Is My Heart Will Go On not in the actual movie of Titanic? Is it just in the credits? I would guess that there is maybe the instrumental version of it in the movie. Yes, you are correct.

There's an instrumental version throughout the movie. Oh, thank God. But not the words, yeah. See, that's a song that's in the movie? Yes, you are correct. There's an instrumental version throughout the movie. Oh, thank God. But not the words, yeah. See, that's a song that's in the movie. Now that's a song that's in the movie. I would love to see

Titanic on the big screen again. Yeah. It was very formative in my years. I actually never saw it in the theater. Was there a break? That's the VHS.

Okay. So the VHS, tape one, break, tape two but you got to make sure that you rewound tape two otherwise you ruin it for yourself you're gonna have to wait which is terrible but then it's like do i wait and rewind tape one so what i would do was i would rewind them both after the movie was finished it's really smart you're prepping for a future nicole i am which is something i never do but now i do do so when i pack for like a trip i have my backpack of toiletries already packed look at you so smart and in my phone i have a little in my notes app i think i have things to refill oh great it's been incredible yeah that's very helpful but if i go

overseas sometimes they take your things that does suck and that sucks yeah i don't understand so you tell me i can only bring 3.5 ounces why am i limited at the amount of 3.5 ounces. Why am I limited at the amount of 3.5 ounces? What do you mean? So in some countries, they make you put your 3.5 ounces in a little bag. Why? Why am I being limited at the amount of 3.5 ounces I can have? Like it's like you can't have multiple things

that are 3.5 ounces or... Correct. So like at the Charles de Gaulle airport or some airport in London that I went through that was not Heathrow, you had to put all of your toiletries in one bag. And if it couldn't fit in that one bag, you had to throw it out. But I don't understand why it's under 3.5 ounces. And that's what you told me the limit was. so why is now the limit a limit to the limit the limit does not exist it shouldn't exist no they're all 3.5 ounces it should say you can have a total of all these ounces well we got we'll let we'll let them know oh it's just so crazy to me

it's crazy but in the u.s you can fly with as many 3.5 ounces as you want i'm flying with so many 3.5 ounces i truly am i have so many liquids on there well i have my body wash in case i don't like the hotel's body wash i have my lotion in case i don't like the hotel's lotion i have all my hair shit for my hair perfumes for the stink face wash yeah makeup remover yeah i make up remover that's great that's a lot of stuff i don't like using hotels anything because i just get worried that some other guest opened it and put like peed yeah or came in it or put an air in it people be freaks people be freaks i don't like that that's why i also bring my own and then sometimes i don't like uh their soap even if it's like closed it's like that good quality yeah it's like it leaves a film on me and you can't put a film on that smooth skin no i'm

too smooth it really is incredible how smooth i am it's's got shine to it, too. I know. Wow. Just rotating your arms. Also, I get smoother in the summer because I'm in the sun more. What does the sun do? The sun does everything. Like what? It makes you better.

Like how? Well, you know how people get like seasonal depression because the sun's not out? The sun makes you happy. The sun makes's not out? The sun makes you happy. The sun makes your skin better. The sun makes you smoother. Just get in the sun. Just get in the sun. Wait, you don't think your skin is better in the sun?

Like when you come back from vacation from the sun? I guess so. Yeah. Everyone's better in the sun. Like sometimes the sun can do damage. But that's if you're're it's like excessive sun yeah i think it's if you're not putting on sunscreen and you're not wearing a hat but me my skin loves the sun you do better than the sun i do when i come back from boats and stuff how many boats are you coming back from the beach even better piers they look great parks yum rivers wow wow wow amusement parks

yeah i think i think everybody looks better after a little bit in the sun yeah i guess so yeah this the sun is great. The sun heals. The sun heals all. Let's answer some questions. Let's answer some questions. Hi, lovelies. Adore the pod and everything you both do. Here's the scenario I need help with.

I have a great friend group. We've been friends for years to decades. Recently, like six months ago, one of my oldest friends found a guy online to be her roommate. He seems like an okay person in general, and we include him in our friend group activities. But he never offers to chip in, buy a round, hail a lift, pay for his movie ticket when we buy for the group. He never says thanks, and I feel myself becoming resentful. We invited him to a backyard fire last weekend at our house. And in the group text, I said, bring something to

share. He brought a scone and ate the whole thing by himself. That's hilarious. In other scenarios, friends have offered drinks at a bar and said, you get this round and he will. But having to ask is the worst and makes me feel so awkward. I'm also not trying to nickel and dime my friends, but it's difficult not to notice when he assumes we're paying for him every time the check comes. What's your opinion and how would you approach this? I mean, I have no qualms being like, you brought a scone to share? Yeah. Well, let's see how you break that apart. I also have no qualms being like, oh, everyone threw a card down and you didn't. Your share is this much. Yeah.

And I get that our friend is saying that that makes them feel bad. But why? Why are you paying for this person's movie tickets? This isn't even your friend. Some people feel awkward around money talk. But I do think it's necessary because then resentment builds. Yes. So it is better to just bring it up

um yeah it could just be in the moment of like hey we're all putting in this much everyone put in this much and if they don't like they should be embarrassed not you you shouldn't be embarrassed for asking they should be embarrassed, not you. You shouldn't be embarrassed for asking. They should be embarrassed that they're not paying. And, you know, it's possible like it's like slipping their mind or they might have financial issues. We don't know. But, yeah, I think it's OK to just say pay me. Or if you don't want to say anything anything there's also apps like split wise or whatever so if it is like a barbecue or a trip or something like that you can just like truly say like this

person paid this and then everyone else is on the app and it's like numbers yes and it says who paid and who didn't pay so if everyone pays and that one person didn't pay it sends that person reminders oh be like you still haven't paid you still haven't paid wow so that could also be a way for be like look it's not me it's the app it's the app the app really needs you to pay me yeah i i honestly wouldn't care i i think that's great just send a venmo request for the movie ticket and then be like hey did you see that venmo request or if you're like sitting at dinner calculate how much everybody owes and then be like hey did you see that venmo request or if you're like sitting at dinner calculate how much everybody owes and then yeah right then write it down and then when everyone puts a card down i don't even ask that person for a card let the person run everybody's cards

and then we come back and go oh there's a balance yeah and then everyone goes well i paid i guess that's mean yeah but yeah i think like yeah venmo request split wise venmo also will remind you you haven't paid this person um and i guess if it's like really becomes a thing and they're like not picking up the clues maybe you could be like hey i'm having a little of an an issue with you not paying for your share when like the rest of the group does is there like is something you want our is there something going on at home yeah like are you able to like is something up and then maybe you know that's opportunity for them to either say yeah I'm broke so sorry or like oh I wasn't even noticing

mm-hmm so cuz I could be a thing too. I've had that before where I had a friend who like thought I wasn't contributing as much as they were, but like we just, I never kept track. But like, I'd get something, they'd get something, I'd get something, they'd get something. And then eventually they were like,

I always get everything. And I was like, well, that can't be true, but I'll pay attention more. I will pay attention. I'll look around. And I was like, well, that can't be true. But I'll pay attention more. I will pay attention. I'll look around. My eyes are open. Yeah. I dated someone who paid for nothing at all times.

And then when I brought it up, they got mad. So that's also an option that might happen. They might get mad. Yeah. But then it's like, well, you can ask your friend to stop inviting them. Yeah. Solved. Okay.

A listener submitted a would you rather. Would you rather be forced to walk everywhere? No. Wait. Okay. Would you rather be forced to walk everywhere as if you're about to start a street fight in West Side Story or be forced to give every single person you pass a compliment? Make your choice. I would like to give compliments.

I really love compliments and I give them out all the time. Yeah. Yeah, I already give out compliments. I think it would hurt my back to be bent over and snapping. With a high knees. Yeah. That's funny. Yeah.

Thanks. Thank you. Okay. Former BFFs with daughters. Hi, Nicole. Hi, Sasheer. Big fan of the podcast. I just went through a really, really bad friend breakup.

I had been friends with this person for eight years. I had been the godparent for the child in their life. And I also have a child who knows her kid, and they still want to be friends. There obviously is no conflict between them. But ever since this friend breakup, we have not gotten the kids together and we have not spoken I mean honestly I would really like to get the kids together but it's not in my control and I don't want to restart the friendship and it seems like we can't continue a best friendship between our children if we are also not best friends I'm just looking for some advice on, like, the grieving process.

Whatever you can say, I'm willing to listen to. Thanks, friends. Did she say how old the kids were? Mm-mm. Because if they're babies, they'll never remember that friendship. I mean, they'll just get other friends. Yeah, that's true. Just move on.

Yeah. And if they're old enough to, walk to someone's house, they can just figure that out on their own. Yeah. So, yeah, that's our advice. If they're too young, they're not going to remember. And if they're too old, walk on over. Walk your ass over to that house. Yeah, that's tough because I have never been in that situation yeah um

yeah i wonder what if it's a thing that's like the kids are begging to see each other they feel like romeo and juliet torn apart oh my god the capulets and the monohue monogues montagues gues yeah yeah. Montagues. Montagues. Montagues. You know, what's his name? Harold, Harold... The Purple Crown? No.

Who played Mercutio in the movie. I don't know. He was also on Lost. I didn't watch that. Me either. Harold Pinot. Jess, do you mind? Wow, I'm going to kill this, but it's Harold Perrineau?

He's a great actor, and that's all I wanted to say about that. Oh, okay. Yeah. Romeo and Juliet came up, and I needed to give him his flowers. He's the best Mercutio that's ever existed. And he's wonderful. And I met him once and I love him. Oh, nice. Anyway, so we got the Romeos and the Juliettes and they're begging to see each other.

I'm so sorry I took that time. No, I'm glad you did. Just to say he's a great actor. Harold deserves the flowers. He's such a good actor. I love him. I would like to see more of him. deserves the flowers he's such a good actor i love him i would like to see more of him but i think there's a world where you call your friend and be like hey the kids really do want to hang out

and i know that our friendship is like you know on the rocks below the sea whatever but i'm just gonna drop them off yeah they can hang you can drop them off with there's no need for us to really you know talk the kids can just hang out yeah i think that's good i also wonder are there They can hang. You can drop them off. There's no need for us to really talk. The kids can just hang out. Yeah, I think that's good. I also wonder, are there other partners? You've got a lot of questions I don't know the answers to. Nicole, are there other partners in the situation?

They're both married. Well, then maybe the other spouse can have play dates with the kids. Oh, maybe. You know? Okay, I'm going to make some choices. They're both married. The kids are 12. Okay, so both answers stand.

Mm-hmm. Either one parent can drop off the kids at the other spouse and be like, the kids will have fun. I'll pick them up later. Or the other spouses can hang out with the kids. Yeah. But you just have to make sure that you're not poisoning the well and talking shit about each other to the kids. That would suck.

And that's psychotic, so don't do that. Yeah. And then make... Or like not feeding the kid. Oh my gosh. You sit in the corner. Sashir! Well, they're being shady.

That's more than shade, Sashir. That's abuse. Well, if they're being shady, sit in the corner and you won't get food. We're all having lovely ears of corn at the table. Just ears of corn? I don't know how to cook. I don't know. What do you feed kids?

But you know what a meal is. I do know what a meal is. You won't have any of this ears of corn. You'll get one kernel and like it wow have we made it to the end? I think so yeah have we made it to the end?

it's me Mark Wahlberg thank you for listening to this episode of Best Friends if you want to ask me Marky Mark a question, Nicole and Sashea will answer it at NicoleAndSashea at gmail.com. There's also a number

424-645-7003. And we also have merch at Petswag.com slash best of friends. We have transcripts in Boston for our new episodes. Check them out on our show page at Earwolfolf.com Lastly, don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe And get a Wahlburger

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