Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer Caught a Neighbor Throwing Leaves in Her Driveway!

Episode Date: March 20, 2024

Best Friends! How are you this week?  Sasheer gets stuff done around the house, with the help of a friend's husband. Nicole doesn’t believe she’s good at household projects but wishes she could build a shelf. Sasheer just adjusted her curtain rods and she’s proud. Nicole is amazed that at Home Depot, you can find all the things relating to your home… except food (except snacks). Sasheer has a lot of macramé things in her home. Nicole has bronze giraffes, a flamingo lamp and haunted piggy bank in her house.  Sasheer learns that Jason Statham is for the people. Nicole got Sasheer into the Fast and Furious franchise. Sasheer had a neighbor who walked around in their birthday suit. Nicole wants to know what Clyde (her dog) is thinking but doesn't want to teach him how to use the dog buttons. Clyde bit one of Nicole’s neighbors while Sasheer caught a neighbor pouring leaves onto her driveway. They answer your friendship questions about the curious case of a stinky co-worker and try to figure out how Nicole magically ended up at a Nordstrom Rack. This was recorded on February 28th, 2024. No BuzzFeed quiz this week.   Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

Hi, Nicole. Hi, Sashir. Oh, she's already bobbing and weaving. Bobbing, bobbing and weaving. Having a nice time on this beautiful Wednesday. What are you doing after this? After this, I have to watch a movie. No.

I don't. Oh, wait. I don't think I can. We haven't announced. Oh, I don't know. You don't have to say it. I just. It's fine.

I can't. You don't. It's okay. You can keep interrupting. There's a movie that I have to watch and it's really fine it's for something and I'm not sure I can't really talk about so that

my eyes will be open on a TV they'll be open open on a TV. On a TV? They'll be open looking at a TV. Okay. Consuming a movie. Got it.

All right. What are you doing after this? Our friend has pimped out her husband to be a handyman for anyone who needs it. So he's coming over to hang a ton of pictures. And I also got rid of a chair and had to take the door off the hinges. And I didn't want to put it back on the hinges. So he's doing that too. And what else?

There's like a lot. At first I was like, just come over and hang pictures. And now I have a whole list of things I need to do, which is very exciting. That is exciting. It's nice getting shit done in your house. And I used to think, I can't hang a picture. Little old me, Nicole, this doof. But I now can hang a picture. Are they straight?

Kind of. Are they where I want them to actually hang? Sort of. They're on the wall is what I'll say. And that's the goal. That's the goal. Yeah. I hung a picture over like a, I don't know know it's like a little box on my wall and i thought i

measured it enough i thought i was like oh this is good but now it's like i didn't put it up high enough so now it like rests on the little box it leans forward a little bit and i'm like huh the next earthquake this thing's coming down and i could rectify the situation but little old me how do you get in a nail out of a wall oh who am i bob the builder i can't you can't you can use the hammer that you used oh oh use the the like back prongs or whatever. Uh-huh, the legs. Yeah, put the legs on the nail. And then you, like, roll the top part of the hammer on the wall and it's supposed to come right out.

All right, maybe I'll give it a go. And then the good part is you only have to go slightly higher so the picture will still cover the hole that you had previously. You don't gotta fix that. You are right. I don't need any spackle i don't need any paint discover that that's all you would need to patch a hole i don't know i i'm so lost on like diy tiktok or not tiktok i'm not on tiktok on instagram and all these people be doing shit themselves and i'm like what the heck how do you learn how do you have a saw at your house where do you you went to home depot and said like get me a saw and then you knew which one that they

were gonna sell you to use what i have no desire to learn any of that or do any of it i just know so i other there's professionals who can do that i don't want to do it you are right i do wish that i had it in me to like build a shelf like imagine how amazing like i made this show yeah yeah i whittled this if i did if i could make a thing i think i would be proud and be mean, I just adjusted these curtains, and I'm very proud of them. I just put a different rod up there, and it makes the curtains glide better. And I'm like, hell yeah, I did that. I mean, pat yourself on the back. That's incredible.

I tried hanging curtain rods, and I failed miserably. There's still a hole in my wall from where I fucked it up. Damn. But you know me, I can't be getting that spackle, that paint. I need sandpaper. Sandpaper? Oh, I guess to sand down the spackle

so it's the same level as the wall. Should I come over and help you guys with your homes? I mean, maybe. Yeah, maybe. You just added that whole element we weren't aware of. Sandpaper? Oh, my God. Where did sandpaper come from?

Why would I need that? I think Home Depot. I think Home Depot has anything you need. It's kind of crazy. They got hammers and nails and stuff. And then they also have like laundry sauce, you know? Like they have everything. It's wild.

Anything in your home that Depot has. Wow. That is, that's pretty accurate. I never thought of it like that. It is really everything in your home. Yeah. Isn't it crazy?

It's crazy. They don't have hot food. You know, you got to go out and get the hot. Well, no, they have, I was,

that didn't make sense. They have snacks because snacks are found in your house but so is hot food so i guess oh yeah okay so it's not everything yeah not everything but yeah it could keep you going for a while also while i was trying to figure out where pictures go in the house. I still haven't hung your, that woven wall hanging that you gave me. But I like it so much. And I was like, but it's so long. And I was like,

what wall do I put it on? I think I figured it out. I think I'm going to move a bull's head, one of my bull's heads, and put it like above this door. We'll see. Thankfully, this man's coming over to help figure that out it is funny that you're like one of my bulls heads i hope people listening are like what the fuck kind of place does she live in and i have this is also

like what your the your uh wall hanging is now one of many macrame things that I have. And I was like, oh, should I move this macrame thing to make room for this other macrame thing? Listen, when you like something, you like something. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, I have a whole herd of giraffes in my house. That doesn't make any sense. I have bronze giraffes in my house i have a a flamingo lamp none of this makes sense yeah but we like it i yeah you know what you like

and you like it i have this haunted piggy bank in my house that makes me laugh every time I come home. It brings me joys too. You were like, put flowers in the slot. And I did it. And boy, oh boy, does it jazz her up. Her eyes are like quarters, but they're black and they're vacant. And she's a pig. So she's like chunky. And then she's got like decoration on her.

And she's just smiling every time I come home. And then my duck next to her, yeah, my house sounds insane. My duck vase next to her looks surprised. So it feels like this like, this haunted pig is scaring my duck. And then. Oh boy. You know, you to fill your house with joyful things.

It doesn't even have to be that expensive. That pig was free because I took it from somewhere. This is true. And maybe they're unloading it because it is haunted. They're like, please take this haunted pig from us. I think she's going to bring me good tidings. I think she's a good haunting. She's too cute to be like a spooky haunting

yeah and maybe she'll be like your protector she'll haunt intruders and other people that don't belong yes yes my little piggy this little piggy went to hell and came back to protect nicole oh my god speaking of protect you have to see the beekeeper do i yes the beekeeper starring our very own jason statham is. You didn't know he was ours? I didn't know. Okay. It is the movie of 2024. Okay. Wow.

So Jason Statham, I'm not giving anything away, plays a man who is a beekeeper, a literal beekeeper. He makes honey. He is also part of a secret society called the Beekeepers. And in order to be a beekeeper, who's like a killer, I think you actually have to keep bees in real life, which makes zero sense.

And then there's a scene where a truck explodes. And the only thing not exploded in the truck is a book on bees. Like the amount of bee stuff in here is so incredible. And then Jason Statham literally being like, I've got to protect the hive as he's like killing people was iconic this man give him an give him an oscar or at least a people's choice award and come on he's the people's step person he's so good i want to meet him so bad i love him also the last two minutes of the movie are just incredible and also pita from the hunger games is in it okay he's great mini driver

they got mini driver mini driver they got jeremy irons they got felicia fucking rashad wow can you believe i can't i can't the beekeepers a star-studded motherfucking cast is there a line in there that like explains like like the correlation between bees and everyone in the beekeepers society what no they're not like just like bees who uh i don't know sting when bothered or like you know like there's nothing well i mean they're like bees protect the hive but there's no there is no correlation as to why the secret society of murderous people called beekeepers and there's only one at a time there's and jason statham was a beekeeper and then he retired and then a crazy lady replaced him who nobody seems to like um but no like they

don't explain why the murderous beekeepers are allowed to do the things that they do they don't explain how they get to the level that they get to. They don't explain why they have to keep actual bees or learn about bees. That part is very funny to me. It's great. Because it's also not like beekeeping is not time consuming. You have to be a killer and keep bees. It's like, how do you have time?

You make the time. That's what happens. You make the time. And then sometimes you happens you make the time and then sometimes you gotta leave your bees alone to go avenge things it's perfect it's a perfect movie um and some of the plot holes i said forgiven because everything else was so fun it was it was like the most fun i've had in a while at a movie it was just that's nice. It was great. God, Jason Statham. He's for the people. I guess I'll watch.

I'll get into it. You gotta get into it. I really hope we get another Hobbs and Shaw. I loved Jason Statham. I loved Hobbs and Shaw. I have seen none of the Fast and Furious movies, but I did see this one- and loved it thoroughly enjoyed it it was funny i took you you were kind of reluctant and then we left you're like that was so much fun i

was like i know fast and furious is so fun it's gabrus was telling me when he saw fast x uh the the film went out so and, and then they were like, sorry about that. We're going to start off where the film dropped off. And everyone started chanting, start it over. So then they started over

and then he was like, it was like Rocky Horror where everyone, because everyone knew what was happening. And then he was like, the minute it got back to where it went out,

dead silent. We got to know what's happening now. We have to respect the franchise. That's what I love about people who like these movies. That's really, really funny. They know it's silly. They're like, but I'm still invested. And the beekeeper.

I can't say enough about it. No. I don't know the last like big flashy action movie I saw was. I guess maybe Aquaman, but. It was. Not great. It but it was not great. It was Aquadam. Aquadam. It was, I mean, I guess because I saw it with my family around Christmas, and we saw the first one years ago when it came out for Christmas, and I guess it just felt right, even though

that one, I was like, this is also not great. And I was like, feel have a feeling this will not this will also still not be great and i was right but you know it was it was there were there were funnier moments it did feel like they were like um the least we can do is make you laugh my favorite thing about aquaman was that man's french twist in the ocean aquaman's half brother that little french roll come on that was nice that reminded me of like grade school my mom tried to do that for me and i'd be like i don't want this oh it also was weird because like their hair would just be like like flowing so much around their head while they're talking in the water.

And I was like, I know, like, I don't know anything about computer graphics or anything like that, but I have seen things in the water. Like Wakanda did it. Like the Wakanda forever did it. They,

they look, I believe they were in the water and it looked really, really good. And yet with the same, with the same abilities and technology we still are able to make movies that look crazy it is funny when you see a movie like now and you're like wait why don't you guys just try harder because i've i've seen movies now that are in the same location as this one and it looked better so how can y'all didn't try what's the difference

what happened what is this and sometimes it's like time or money who knows i don't know hard to say what the thing was but something something was up it is hard to say um also with the first aquaman i was like nicole kidman is in this she has and she'd be fucking on the land and the sea yeah and she was fighting in the second one like oh was she ting was it her probably not but and maybe that's where the budget went it's to create a whole new nicole kidman to fight what a whale or whatever a whale i can't remember what it was if nicole kidman is fighting a whale i cannot suspend my disbelief that that tall, thin lady isn't just getting knocked the fuck out.

Like, no shade to her. A whale? She probably wasn't fighting a whale. She is of the ocean. So she probably was, like, riding a whale and maybe fought a machine. I really can't remember. Riding a whale and fought a machine.

It's interesting. Water movies are interesting. So like Avatar, Way of the Water. The first Avatar was not set in the sea. And I have a hard time with change. But I think that's the genius of James Cameron. So much time passed. I was like, oh, yeah, I forgot that the Navis were in trees.

Yeah, sure. They're in water now. And I was fine with it oh good yeah i had trouble with wakanda forever because i said no these these folks are in africa above water they're on the ground with me and now they're under the water i said no me oh my yeah yeah I get that it was quite a quite a change

yeah the whole a lot of it was under the water I didn't finish it unfortunately oh man maybe I should maybe I should give

Wakanda Forever another chance I think so I really enjoyed it hmm okay and I also liked Way of the Water Avatar but I was like now i feel like i'm

in an aquarium watching a movie about whales like there was a good 30 minutes i was like i i love that they're getting along with all these animals but like i don't need to see them swimming and learning about these whales anymore. Guess what? I loved it. When people asked me about it, I was like, there's chunks of the movie where no story is happening. Yeah. And people are hugging on whales and being like, this whale just told me a joke. And I loved it because I didn't know what the joke the whale told.

But I could use my imagination. Imagine it was like, I'm drowning. Just kidding. I'm a whale, I'm drowning. Just kidding. I'm a whale. And that is a funny joke. You know what? That's the comedian of the whole herd. Yeah.

They did it. And that's not far off from what happened in the movie where they're like, this whale is the poet of the community. I would love to hear a haiku from a whale. I would pay good money for it yeah i just want to know what animals are thinking like what does my dog think

yeah is he like happy with me is he mad sometimes that'd be so surprising if he was mad at you because he's always he seems obsessed with you he's like so happy when you come home following you around like just like at your heels if he was mad then i'd be like wow you're lying you're really leading me on sir yeah yeah i guess he's happy i know he wants me to pay more attention to him but sometimes i just need to like decompress when i get home and I'm not ready to play. I need to sit for like 10 seconds. And then sometimes I'm like, can you give me 10 seconds?

And then he'll like mope about it. And then I feel bad. And then I'm like, OK, well, let's play. And then he's like, well, you don't want to play with me. And I'm like, yes, I do. So I have to like pick him up and I have to like like scratch his little belly and then shake him around a little bit in a kind way and then we'll play and then i'm like i can't believe i had to do all this work to like get you back on my side but then i'm like maybe i don't have to

do all this work because he's a dog i know but dogs do like he doesn't feeling have feelings yeah you do want him to feel loved and provided for, etc. Yeah, I wonder if there's some sort of thing you can do when you come home that appeases him enough and then does let him go away for a minute so you have space.

What did you say? Would you teach him to use the dog button? Absolutely not. No. No, I don't want him to use the dog button? Absolutely not. No. No, I don't want him to become aware that he's a dog. I don't want him to be self-aware that he has no personal autonomy. Like, imagine discovering

I can't leave on my own accord. I also can only communicate via buttons. And I'm solely dependent on this big person who leaves me for hours at a time yeah and i love them and i pledge my allegiance to them but like i i'll never be independent i wonder for the dogs who can communicate through buttons at home i wonder what that's like when they go to like the dog park are they telling all the other dogs like yo i'm talking to my person are you guys and they're like no i didn't get that choice i don't have these options at home i imagine those types of dogs are like people who went to ivy league where you know immediately

that they went to harvard and because you know i went to harvard right Because you know I went to Harvard, right? Because you know I speak to my human. Yes. Like, we get it, Toot. You speak to your human. Oh, you guys don't have buttons? Oh. No, Toot.

We don't have buttons. I don't know why this dog's name is Toot. It's a good name for a dog, Toot. Come here, Toot. That's funny. toot it's a good name for a dog to come here toot that's funny clyde has so many names i guess not that many clyde sometimes i call him collida sometimes i call him diva sometimes i call him babes yeah okay he does have a lot of names those are all good and he answers to all of them wow for the most part outside he listens to babes yeah okay he does have a lot of names those are all good and he answers to all of them wow for the most part outside he listens to babes more he doesn't really listen to babes in the

house that's funny go come on babes maybe he's listening to the come on probably that makes Mm-hmm. Mm. Mm. He, um, he bit my neighbor, uh, for, like, the eighth time. And before he bit her this time, she said, I know, I'm not supposed to put my hand in little dog's face. And then she put her hand in his face, and then he bit her. And she went, oh, no, he bit me. And I was like, yup, because you did the thing you said you know you shouldn't do. Yeah, that kind of feels like that's on her. Yeah.

Even regardless. She's gone through it, though. Oh, okay. Now it's even worse. She got bit. Yeah, I know. Marcy found this cat. Did I tell you this?

Marcy found a cat. Yeah. I said I would take this cat. But then the cat was like, and it scared me. And then my neighbor was walking and she has a bunch of pets. So I was like, hey, neighbor.

I know her name, but I'm not telling you guys. I said, hey, neighbor, do you want a cat? And she goes, let me see if it's my cat. And I was like, oh, well, it was found not near here. And then she looked at that cat

and said, that's not my cat. My cat died two years ago and then we were all confused certainly wasn't her cat no because the cat's not here anymore and then marcy stayed at my house because she was dog sitting and my neighbor introduced herself to marcy and then marcy said oh i don't live here i'm house sitting for nicole and then Marcy said, oh, I don't live here. I'm house-sitting for Nicole. And then my neighbor said, who is Nicole? Mind you, this lady has knocked on my door at 3 a.m.

to give me jewels for a party. She yells my name all the time. She says my name every time we interact. And Marcy would be like, the girl who lives here? And she went, huh. And that was that so she's going through it yeah i don't know she's going through it yeah yeah i don't really want to get older yeah like i don't want my neighbors talking about me on a podcast being like, she's going through it.

That would suck. But I guess you wouldn't know. No, unless I stumbled upon my cool, youthful neighbor's podcast and I was like, let me see what they're getting into. Oh, no. And it's like, oh, me. Talking about me? Talking about me and how I'm going through it. And it's like, do I confront my new cool neighbors?

Like, what do I do? Well, she doesn't even know your name, so I don't know. She sure doesn't. She also has a hole in her roof. Damn. She was like, I was laying in bed and I looked up and I saw the sky. And I said, that's not good. And I was like, no.

The whole sky? That's a big hole. It is a big hole. There's a big old piece of tarp over it. Oh, no. And I don't, I don't. She was like, do you know anyone who can help me with it? And I was like, no, I don't.

She's, she's having a great time. Sometimes I'll just catch her in trees. She's, she's great. She's living free. Living free. You don't have any neighbors. You've never had a neighbor like that, have you? No, thankfully.

No. I just met some new neighbors that are very nice and like normal. Cool. Sounds nice. Must be nice. Yeah. And then, gosh, I must have a weird neighbor. I mean, when I lived in an apartment, I lived in like there was two buildings.

One was in front of the other. And you had to like go through this tiny driveway to get to the back building. And I was in the back building. And the window to my living room faced the window of this woman's bedroom. And she didn't like to close her curtains. So sometimes she would just, like, come out of the shower and just be all naked in her room. You were seeing titties? Yeah.

And butt? Like, I was seeing everything. Oh, and butt. Yeah. And, like, I was, like, it was kind of a conundrum because i was like should i tell her that this building can see her and it was also like she's on a corner so it was like like being behind her i could see it and even if you just drove past the window to get to get to the back house you could see what was going on and sometimes she would like

walk up to the window fully naked and like close the window and i'm like is this a kink like do you want people to see you naked because huh all my curtains are open because this is the living room maybe she did want to want you to see her did she have a nice body yeah well i guess nobody has a bad body yeah what an awful question of for me to ask i can't believe i did that but it wasn't was it it was a nice body a traditionally nice body or like uh i guess yeah what you what people call a traditionally nice body sure yeah oh boy um I've I don't think I've had a naked neighbor but when I lived in an apartment um that my friend lives in now I had a shopping cart war with somebody so there was a shopping cart in the garage for when you went grocery shopping you could take everything up in the cart right

to your apartment bring it back down but my next door neighbor left that cart in the garage for when you went grocery shopping you could take everything up in the cart right to your apartment bring it back down but my next door neighbor left that cart in front of my door oh and i know i didn't do that i always bring the cart back because i do that in the grocery store too you're not gonna catch me pushing it next to my car for it to roll into somebody else's car it is not that far to put it back where it belongs tell him but my neighbor put it in front of my door so i push it in front of their door so my neighbor put it in front of my door so i pushed it in front of their door so then they pushed it in front of my door so when i heard them push in front of my door the minute they closed the door i put it in front of their door and it was the whole thing and then they screamed at me they're like stop putting it in front of my door and i

was like stop putting it in front of my door and i can't remember how it was resolved i can't believe it it it amounted to screaming so sure i'll scream at anybody i do know this about you if you're wrong i'll let you fucking know but like why did they think that that like they thought it was okay for them to put it in front of your door i don't know i maybe they were gonna get to it later yeah and they push it in front of my door so they could get in their door but that's when you drag it back in front of your door if you're gonna get to it later don't don't hinder my ability to leave my home yeah what if you open the door you fucking have right over trip right over the the basket i would be so mad and I would sue. Yeah, you should. But who do I sue? My neighbor or my landlord for having the basket in the first place?

Hmm. I mean, there's cameras. I guess maybe you catch the neighbor. That just feels very silly. It does feel silly to catch a neighbor. It's a new TV show. I had a neighbor. It's a new TV show. I had a neighbor, this person I did really don't like, but older woman, very old, walks in front of my garage or just walks down the street. But I guess thinks that it's her responsibility to sweep up the leaves on that street.

to sweep up the leaves on that street and my tree leans over the street and she's like complaining about the amount of leaves that the tree produces and and like one time i was like leaving and she was like screaming about the tree and how it should be cut down because it creates too much stuff for her to sweep up and i was was just like, well, that's not your responsibility. There are street sweepers. You don't have... I'm sorry, you don't want to wait for the street sweeper to come, but you don't have to sweep anything. And also, it's a tree, and we're outside.

It's going to make leaves, and they're going to fall off. And then I caught her on my camera sweeping the leaves and then dumping them in front of my garage and I I I happened to be parking one day where she was out there and I walk up to her and I was like hi did you happen to leave a bunch of leaves in front of my garage and she's like huh no I don't think so and I was like oh really and then I showed her the video. And I

was like, is this you? And she was wearing the exact same shirt in the video as she was wearing on the street that day. And she was like, huh? I don't, I guess I could see how you think that was me, but I don't think, I don't think that's me. And I was like, you're sure? Because that really looks like you. And she's like, no, I don't, no, I don't think me. And I was like, you're sure? Because that really looks like you. And she's like, no, I don't. No, I don't think so. And I was like, okay, well, just so you know, that's a camera. And I can see everything that's happening out here.

So maybe don't do that again. And she's like, oh, well, I'll make sure to tell whoever that is. I'll tell who. It wasn't me, but I'll tell whoever it is that they shouldn't be doing that oh and then but it hasn't happened since so i guess the message got to her yeah because you fucking caught her that's so wild i am often okay i think i behave well but like what if i get caught I'm like a hidden camera oh no do you ever think about that I actually don't that's never crossed my mind well I guess I'm not often behaving badly so I guess I'm not thinking about what if I get caught well I feel

like wacky things are always happening to me then I'm like is this a tv show why is this happening yeah sometimes in serious situations i have to like pray to god to be like can something weird not happen i don't think the other people will like that weird shit just follows me yeah this is true it's crazy it's crazy you ever watch clips of to catch a? I haven't in a very long time. They're so wild to me. Like, truly astounding. Because if, okay, so if I'm trying to get some kid,

I'm not going to their house. I'm making them meet me at a park. Like, but why have you thought about, like, why have you thought this out? If it weren't me because i was watching one of these videos and i was like what in god's why would you go to a house it is rather stupid because it's like you know their parents live there too yes so like the risk is so high right they like even if it wasn't chris hansen yeah their parents could be there or a sister like george lewis the dad of one of these children yeah george lewis or even just everyone has like secure not everyone but like

some people have security systems what did you just get caught on the ring camera walking into this house like what yeah and then you're taking a walk later around the neighborhood and then your neighbor comes up to you and goes hey were you in my house trying to get my kid you're wearing the same shirt no i'll tell the i'll tell the person not to do that again that's crazy i just think it's so wild yeah it's pretty dumb right but I guess they're just so horny that can't be they're blinded their logic is blinded

and then I was like is it real or is it like maybe scripted like a lot of reality television is because is it even still on I feel like it's that show is so popular if I was a pedophile i'd be like i don't want to risk that yeah i'm not going to someone's house what if chris hansen's there are new people getting caught still i don't i think so for whatever reason it came up on my

explore page on instagram whoa um and i was like oh oh no this is what I found okay it ended in 2007 so wild yeah but I'm also like what does a kid have to say to you that's interesting I don't think they're interested in conversation

I don't think they're like wow we have so much in common i don't think they're trying to date this kid i think that you know what i think you're right and i didn't really think of it like that i was really what the fuck are they talking about like that you learned in like what color legos you have like i don't care like that's crazy they. They don't either. I don't think that's the goal. Okay. Fair. Yeah. Should we answer queries of the world?

Let's answer some queries of the world. Also, we didn't talk about the Willy Won wonka um i know this is gonna come out weeks later but it made me laugh so hard oh the ai thing yes yeah but they sold tickets and then there was just like a sad little oompa loompa and like a ball pit with like nothing in it and then i saw it was like an instagram or something it was like if they sold tickets for this now it would sell out yeah because it's like funny it's so funny but also i saw a comment that was like if you fell for this bad ai like if you thought that was actually what it was going to look like

and you bought tickets, I don't feel bad for you. I mean, it did look like AI. It looked like $44. That's really funny. Oh, my God. I'm the people. Someone called the cops. Like, what are you supposed to do?

Hello, officer. This Wonka land is not good. I've been scammed. Arrest them. I think they did have to refund everybody's money. But I genuinely think it's funny that this is going to happen more and more often. Like people need to. What is it?

Not cognitive dissonance. It's like critical thinking. Yes. Like if something looks like too good it probably is probably is yeah oh my god all right let's help somebody yeah hi hi michael this year this is my name is tony and i have a question and a query. So I have a case of a stinky girl at my work, and I'm wondering how we go about telling her she's stinky and it's bad because this has been going on for a while,

and it seems to be only getting worse, and me and my coworkers, we're all very aware of this. And it sucks because we're trapped in like a 10-foot box because we're baristas. So we're behind this counter. And it gets very hot. And it gets very bad. And we're all very close. And it's gotten really pungent.

And you walk past her. And not only is it smelly, it like waters your eyes. And it's bad. So we found out that she doesn't necessarily use deodorant that well yet. And we also found out she doesn't really smell either. Like, she doesn't have this sense of smell, I guess, because one of our other co-workers was an abundance of perfume, and we brought that up to her, and she goes, well, I don't smell it.

So we're like, oh, so she's obviously not aware of it. How do we go about telling her in a nice way that isn't rude, because she's kind of sensitive, and we don't want to be mean. We don't want to be mean to someone about like, hey, you're stinky. We don't want that. But so how do you go about this? We thought about when it was Christmas time doing a secret Santa and putting deodorant in their apron or something, but we went against that because that would be bullying and we don't want to be bullies. But so any options will help anyone. Thank you guys so much for being funny and amazing. So yeah. Thank you so much.

I love the curious case of the stinky coworker. It sounds like a Nancy drew Nancy drew the curious case of the stinky coworker. Well, she doesn't have a sense of smell, so she's not smelling that she's funky. I truly think you can pull her aside and be like, hey, I know you can't smell things,

but body odor is like, it's a thing that happens when you get older. And I just want you to know you're a little ripe. So maybe if you start using deodorant, that might help with it. No shade.'t smell girl yeah yeah i think you can use all the information you have gathered uh like hey i noticed you couldn't smell this lady's perfume so it makes me feel like you can't smell and also i heard that you don't use deodorant that's cool i understand people not wanting to use deodorant but maybe you're not aware that you know we all can smell you and if that's the thing you don't

want there's other alternative there's like uh like this like powder i forgot what it's called there's like a powder you can put on that's like not it doesn't have like parabens and or aluminum if the reason she's not using deodorant is because she's like all natural doesn't want to like have chemicals go inside of her there's there are options um so yeah i think as long as you're saying it in a helpful way hopefully it'll be heard and yeah yeah because worst case i think worst case scenario she'll be embarrassed but i don't i would hope she's not gonna be mad because if someone told me like you smell i would want to work on it immediately because i i that's embarrassing and i wouldn't want that to be the case yeah yeah yeah and you yeah i i think that's yeah just talk to her yeah and then be like also i like you as a person this is nothing personal it's just a little funky and then if she doesn't change

carry around some bath and body works and just spray her while her back is turned that is bullying is it i think so yeah if she doesn't change i mean it's up to her to change if she wants to but y'all gotta work with her and she's stanking yeah i guess it's i don't know if it's like a thing where she can't smell spritz her up is it like is it crazy to if if you bring it up and she doesn't change and it's like a thing where it's like affecting the other co-workers is it crazy to get the boss involved like be like hey we approached this person already and it's like you know our we're our nose hairs are burning and it's like uncomfortable for us to be around her at work um and and she won't do anything about it in fact she pushed me down

the stairs when i told her well i wonder if like corporations have things in place for stinky people probably not i don't know i'm sure it's like an hr thing yeah i feel like there's probably a basic like you should like have good hygiene thing but maybe not i actually have no idea yeah i guess if she doesn't change her stinky ways don't spray her don't hit her with the the moonlit path but the path you should take is to the manager and and tell her be like hey girl since since we still be stanking i gotta i gotta talk to lynette about this yeah um and i'm really sorry to do that to you but lynette has to like step in and get involved. And I don't know what that's going to entail.

But we got it. We got it. Lynette is such an HR name. Like Lynette definitely is the person you need to talk to. Lynette right now is sifting through emails about stinky people and people not showing up on time. Being like, ugh. Yeah. Ooh, Jordan says there are food service protocol and scent hygiene is a major topic

interesting yeah so yeah if she doesn't change get lynette involved and she can pull out a book or something so solved when i worked at lane bryant we had this like insane dress code and it was like an arbitrary one like i was wearing something that was too tight once and they were like that's against dress code and i was like but why and they're like it's too tight too revealing and i was like oh do you think i'm revealing to the other fat customers that i'm fat because i was so confused i was like revealing to who titties aren't out it's just skin tight that's weird it was wild but i guess they didn't want the lane bryant shoppers to know that fat people also work there oh god yeah it wouldn't really make sense right because it like i don't you know me my titties are never

out my butt is never out it was just very very tight yeah and i'll never forget my manager's name was judith no shade to jud's, but this lady, not great. And she was like, Nicole, that's too tight. That's against dress code. And I was like, but can you tell me why? And she was like, it's inappropriate. I was like, this is a turtleneck. It's a turtle.

It was like a turtleneck, like onesie legging thing with like a belt on. And it was just so bizarre. I'm sure that was her own thing. Like her own insecurities that she's putting on you. Mm-hmm. Because, yeah,

you're wearing a turtleneck. It's not inappropriate. No, it was just tight. And I got little titties and a fat ass and I want to show it off. Yes. Show off those goods.

I know we have to end this episode, but I just tried to do a bra fit. And my, so I did it. I followed this thing online. I did the measurements. I put it into a calculator and it told me I'm a 44 double D. A double D?

I'm not a double D. No, I don't think you're a double D. And I don't understand why these bra calculators keep telling me i'm a double d they're horrible the calculators they're so bad they told i just did one also funny enough uh yeah and mine was like you're a 42 triple g and i was like what the fuck what are What are you talking about? Whoa. Interesting. Triple G. Hmm. And where's the bra place?

Jordan, I don't know your titty sitch and or your back sitch, but I got a wide back tiny titties according to this lady in New York who really crushed my heart and really scarred me. But where is the bra store for the wide back tiny titty crew? I feel like there's stores for big old honking titties and little backs and big backs and big titties.

But where are the little tittied big batches, big back bitches supposed to be going? That's a really good question. You know. Listeners, if you know, let us know. Yeah. Let me know where someone specializes in big backs and tiny titties. Big back, tiny titties big back tiny titties big back tiny titties that's the way i like to party

i mean not to bring up and i really love that you call it lame giant but like growing up with having um because i think i just remeasured myself that i should be like a 42d or like triple d and i was always taught to like go to torrid or lane bryant um and i just they're so expensive and i don't yes want to go there also to add on to the with lane bryant sharing what you shouldn't wear i one time worked at a company where hr the hr was so bad that they had to send out a like wide company email there's maybe like 500 employees here and they sent out the email being like this is why you cannot wear to work and i'm not even joking they they attached pictures that were so pornographic that they were like you cannot wear these leggings and it's like some girl like

bending over you can see the underwear through it and i'm like what is what's happening and to be fair the company was primarily like 80 men and i remember being in a meeting and they were like well we love that the hr is sending out porn to us and i was like this is i can't work here anymore i cannot do this no get out wild i guess maybe they were like these dummies don't know what we're talking about let's show them let's show these dumb men, and they were like, oh, shit, porn. Oh, my God. Oh, that's so wild. We had a, like, at Lane Bryant,

they wanted us to wear, like, casual work wear. And I was like, guys, this is retail, where I'm on my feet for eight hours to ten hours a day. What do you mean you want me in a kit and heel and a suit? To sell jeans yeah it's also like the the wear you're selling is casual and i guess a lot to our sneakers that sucks but i did wear almost every day my flat peter pan slouchy boots, which I just found a pair because they went so deeply out of style. But I found a pair.

They're coming from Italy. Oh. Well, well, well. Some Italian Peter Pan boots. Some Italian Peter Pan boots. I also found gold ones with a little kitten heel. They look disgusting. It's like cracked leather.

They're nasty. I squealed like a little piglet last night. I was like, oink, oink, oink. And I was like, ship them on over. I'm excited. I'm excited for you. I can't wait to see them. Oh, my God.

Because you better believe I bought some rompers. And I'm going to wear my Peter Pan boots with my rompers. Oh, God. Girl, girl, I'm about to look nasty i can't wait uh yeah also happened to be in a nordstrom rack yesterday happened to be i don't even know how i got there i blacked out woke up in a nordstrom kind of and i woke up with my feet in some nine and a half shoes. I'm usually an 11. But my feet slid into these denim glittered buckled mules. They're nasty. I can't wait to wear them.

Oh, yeah. We're definitely in the comeback of the 2000s fashion. I'm here for it. Well, if you are here for some questions or queries, or if you want to send us where any wide back tiny titty people can get bras, you can email Nicole and Sashir at gmail.com or call or text or send a voice note to 424-645-7003. And if you know how I landed in a Nordstrom rack last night,

we also have merch at podsw swag.com slash best friends. We also transcripts for our new episodes. Check them out on our show page at earwolf.com. Lastly, if you like Nordstrom rack, don't forget to rate review and subscribe to us. Not Nordstrom rack. It's the easiest way to support this show.

They're not sponsoring us, but get to Nordstrom Rack. Goodbye from you and yours from Nordstrom Rack. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha