Betrayal - A Stranger in the Share House — Bonus | Ashley's Story

Episode Date: July 27, 2023

A Canadian ex-pat living in Australia is stunned to discover that her lovely new boyfriend has very dark and illegal interests.   If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal Team, email us at [e-mail].   To report a case of child sexual exploitation, call The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children's CyberTipline at 1-800-THE-LOST  If you or someone you know is worried about their sexual thoughts and feelings towards children reach out to stopitnow.org  In the UK reach out to stopitnow.org.uk  In Australia reach out to stopitnow.org.au See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Hey, it's Joel and Matt from How to Money. If your New Year's resolution is to finally get your finances in shape, we've got your back. Prices, they're still high. And the economy is all over the place. But 2026 is the year for you to get intentional and make real progress. That's right.

Yeah, each week we break down what's happening with your money, the most important issues to focus on. And the small moves that make a big difference. Kick off the year with confidence. Listen to How to Money on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm John Polk. For years, I was the poster boy of the conversion therapy movement. The ex-gay who married an ex-lesbian and traveled the world telling my story of how I changed my sexuality from gay to straight. You might have heard my story, but you've never heard the real story. John has never been anything that gay, but he really tried hard not.

to be. Listen to Atonement, the John Polk story on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Dr. Jesse Mills, host of the Mailroom podcast. Each January, men promised to get stronger, work harder, and fix what's broken? But what if the real work isn't physical at all? I sat down with psychologist, Dr. Steve Poulter, to unpack shame, anxiety, and the emotional pain men were never taught how to name. Part of the way through the Valley of Despair is realizing this has happened, and you have to make a choice whether you're going to stay in it or move forward. Our two-part conversation is available now. Listen to the mailroom on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, for wherever you get your favorite shows.

A decade ago, I was on the trail of one of the country's most elusive serial killers, but it wasn't until 2023 when he was finally caught. The answers were there, hidden in plain sight. So why did it take so long to catch him? I'm Josh Zeman, and this is Monster, hunting the Long Island, serial killer, the investigation into the most notorious killer in New York since the son of Sam, available now. Listen for free on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. Topics featured in this episode may be disturbing to some listeners. Please take care

while listening. I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is our second bonus episode of season two of betrayal. Betrayal is a universal feeling. The shock and hurt that deception creates from someone so close crosses all cultures. And we found that the secrets and lies we've heard in season two happen everywhere. We received emails from Amman Northern Ireland, from a young woman in India, and the woman will introduce to you today lives in Australia. We are far apart, of course, but our interest in protecting those who cannot protect themselves cuts through those miles and time zones.

Melanie is a Canadian expat living in Australia. reaching her was a little tricky. Our today is her tomorrow, but we figured it out. It's quite surreal to actually talk to you because you've just been in my years while I've been running. What happened with me in October 2017? I just met this guy on an app. He lived in a different town like eight hours away, so we had just been chatting. And then about two months into our chatting, he made a trip to.

my city and we met up for the first time and we hung out and we had like a really lovely weekend together. I don't know, treated me well. And like it was very early stages of dating, but like there weren't any red flags at that juncture. So he went back to his little town. And then we just kind of started long distance dating. About four months later, Melanie's new guy ended up leaving his job and moving closer to her. She lived in a cosmopolitan town in South Australia. called Adelaide. Housing in that part of the country is expensive and hard to find. So even though the relationship was still new, he ended up staying with her. Melanie was living in what's called a sharehouse, down under that refers to a rental house where people who may not know each other

rent a house together. It's a common living arrangement in Australia. He was looking for a place to live and the sharehouse was really cramped and we were like spending all our time together anyway. We just decided like, oh, well, we'll just move into like another sharehouse together. Things were going well, I guess. Like, he treated me really well, almost suspiciously well. Like, he just behaved like I was the greatest person. He never met in his life. He was always going out of his way to do nice things for me.

He would, like, think of me and buy me little things. He would, like, do my laundry when I was at work. Like, I don't know. He was just, he was very attentive and very sweet. There were some subtle things that bothered her, but they weren't exactly red flags. He didn't talk too much about his past. He'd come out of like a seven-year marriage prior to this and had a four-year-old daughter from his previous marriage. He didn't have custody of his daughter, but he still saw her fairly regularly and was having FaceTime calls with her and stuff like that pretty often.

And their physical relationship? Shipped it pretty quickly. After the first few months of the relationship, he just kind of stopped being interested in intimacy. And he had like really bad performance issues. I definitely was confused by it. It made me feel like there's something wrong with me. Like he doesn't find me attractive. But that didn't really line with how he was behaving the rest of the time. So it was just very confusing.

Melanie worked during the day and her partner worked in the evening, so he spent much of his day home alone. And then I guess it finally came out at some point in conversation that he had been watching a lot of porn during the daytime. Melanie started to wonder if this was impacting their intimate relationship. I think I started to get concerned about what his interests might be and what he might be watching. That kind of spurred me to do some digging. So she started by looking at his recently viewed files. There was a video called Dog, and I was like, what is this video? I'm going to spare you any more details about that, but it's exactly what you're thinking.

Ficked up? Yes. Relationship ending? Hell yes. Illegal? God, I hope so. Melanie was down the rabbit hole now and steeled herself for whatever other information she was going to discover. I clicked on a folder, and it opened.

I could just see a thumbnails. It's just all of these images. These are small children. New year, new goals, and in this economy, a better money plan is more necessary than ever. I am Matt, and I'm Joel. We are from the How to Money podcast,

and every week we help you to spend smarter, save more, and make sense of what's going on out there. If you want 2026 to be the year you finally feel in control of your money, we're here to give you the tools and advice to help you make it happen. Listen to How to Money on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Dr. Priyanko Wally. And I'm Hurricane de Bolu. It's a new year. And on the podcast's health stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be.

I like to sleep in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that, or am I just depressed? We talk to experts who share real, experiences and insight. You just really need to find where it is that you can have an impact in your own life and just start doing that. We break down the topics you want to know more about.

Sleep, stress, mental health, and how the world around us affects our overall health. We talk about all the ways to keep your body in mind, inside and out, healthy. We human beings, all we want is connection. We just want to connect with each other. Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone. Listen on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Every January, we're encouraged to start over. But what if this year is about slowing down and learning how to understand ourselves more deeply?

What if this year is about giving ourselves permission to feel what we've been holding and knowing that it's okay to ask for help? I'm Mike Delarocha, host of Sacred Lessons. This is a podcast for men navigating story. emotional health, fatherhood, identity, and the unspoken pressures were taught to carry alone. We talk honestly about mental health, about healing generational wounds, and about learning how to show up with more presence and care. If you want a healthier relationship with yourself and the people you love, then Sacred Lessons is the podcast for you.

Listen to Sacred Lessons with Mike Dolorotcha on America's number one podcast network, IHeart. Follow Sacred Lessons with Mike DeLaurocha and start listening on the free IHeart radio app today. In horrifying positions, there's no mistaking what that was. I slammed the laptop shut. You're aware that this material exists, but actually seeing it is very different. You had spoke to someone earlier on the podcast who described it as beyond imagination and, like, the seventh circle of hell or something like that. Yeah, that's what it is. It was like looking at a little thumbnail straight into hell, basically.

I don't think I've entirely been the same person since then. The realization that the man she shared a bed with was getting sexual pleasure from that material. was revolting. Melanie was upset and infuriated. At this point, it was like 11 p.m. And he was going to be coming home from work. And it was just so late at night. I didn't know what to do.

I was still trying to process everything that happened. So I had gotten into bed. And I just pretended to be asleep. And then he got into bed next to me. And I just laid there in the dark. just like praying that he wouldn't try to touch me or anything. And thankfully, he didn't. But I just remember the feeling of, like, laying there in the dark.

And he was right there. And I felt so sick. She slipped out of bed and went downstairs to call her family back home in Canada. They were scared for her. Who was this guy? Obviously, she didn't know him at all. They urged her to get away from him as soon as possible. He found her sleep downstairs on the sofa in the morning,

and unable to contain herself, she confronted him. He just didn't really have an answer for it. He was just like, I'm sorry, I forgot I had that. I downloaded it a long time ago. I'm not interested in those things. You know, I'll get rid of it or I'll leave if you want me to. And I was like, do you understand what this is? Like, this is a very serious crime.

He didn't seem to really be grasping the gravity of what he had done. Melanie reached out to his family. They didn't seem to grasp it either. His mother was concerned about whether or not I was going to report it because she was like, oh, what if we lose access to our granddaughter? And his brother was like, oh, well, would you consider trying couples counseling? She made it clear he needed to leave. then she erased every trace of him from the house.

It just felt like he had died. One day, there's this person that you think you know and you're in a loving relationship with. And the next day, that person is just gone. New year, new goals, and in this economy, a better money plan is more necessary than ever. I am Matt. And I'm Joel.

We are from the How to Money podcast. And every week, we help you to spend smarter, save more, and make sense of what's going on. out there. If you want 2026 to be the year you finally feel in control of your money, we're here to give you the tools and advice to help you make it happen. Listen to how to money on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Dr. Priyankowali. And I'm Hurricane de Bolu. It's a new year. And on the podcast, health stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how

messy it can all be. I like to sleep in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that or am I just depressed? We talk to experts who share real experiences and insight. You just really need to find where it is that you can have an impact in your own life and to start doing that. We break down the topics you want to know more about. Sleep, stress, mental health, and how the world around us affects our overall health. We talk about all the ways to keep your body in mind, inside and out, healthy. We human beings, all we want is connect.

We just want to connect with each other. Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone. Listen on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A new year doesn't mean erasing who you were. It means honoring what you've survived and choosing how you want to grow. It means giving ourselves permission to feel what we've been holding and knowing that it's okay to ask for help. I'm Mike Dolorotia, host of Sacred Lessons. This podcast is a space for men to talk openly about mental health, grief, relationships,

and the patterns we inherit, but don't have to repeat. Here, we slow down. We listen. We learn how vulnerability becomes strength and how healing happens in community, not in isolation. If you're ready to let go of what no longer serves you and step into the year with clarity, compassion, and purpose, sacred lessons is your companion on your future. healing journey. Listen to Sacred Lessons with Mike DeLerich on America's number one podcast network,

IHeart. Follow sacred lessons with Mike Delo Rocha and start listening on the free IHeart radio app today. Melanie grieved the loss of the relationship she thought she had. She also felt compelled to turn him into law enforcement. After all, he did have a daughter. A lawyer friend of a friend accompanied her to the police station. It's just, it's this little police station and you just, like, a little bit of

reporting counter. And there's like constantly people reporting things there. Like the person ahead of us in line was like reporting like a stolen bicycle. They took us back into a separate little room. And then I gave this incredibly detailed statement. It took about an hour and a half. I was still completely in a state of shock. But I think I felt a sense of relief in the sense that like I have done what I can do with this. I've done the right. thing, I can go to sleep at night knowing that I have reported this, and it's out of my hands. She heard Ashley's case on the podcast. The Riverton Police had gathered evidence and made the arrest quickly. That didn't happen here. This is where it gets really surprising. I imagined,

like, they're going to want to swoop in on him and get the hard drives and get all of those things. and that's just not really what happened. They did arrest him, but it took two weeks. Melanie feared that was plenty of time to dispose of the evidence. But he didn't delete the material. Maybe he deleted some of it and not all. Like, I have absolutely no idea. They, I guess, took him in and questioned him and took all of his devices.

I don't think he spent a night. in jail. He was just kind of instantly out on bail. He was just like out in the world. And he went straight back on Tinder and just started dating other people. At one point he did send me a bunch of messages on Facebook, just apologizing and being like, I just want to explain myself to you. And the explanations were just very unsatisfying. You know, it was kind of like, oh, I had a difficult childhood. and I'm not really interested in this material. I just found it. And, you know, I was just messed up in the head for a while.

I don't know. Just nonsense. She forwarded those messages admitting his behavior to law enforcement. Then she wanted to be done with the whole awful experience. But soon after, she saw online that he had a new girlfriend. Adelaide is the sort of city where, like, everybody knows everybody. But, yeah, I don't know. You're never more than two degrees away from it.

anybody. I didn't know this woman, but we had mutual friends and she had a job working with children. So I ended up reaching out to this woman. We spoke on the phone. I was like, hey, I don't know how involved you are with this guy, but this is the reason we broke up. And you never know how anyone's going to take that information. Like, they might just think you're a jealous ex-girlfriend or something like that. But fortunately, she believed me instantly and was horrified. And I guess had somewhat of a similar experience to me that night because he came home from work. And she just said to him, I've spoken to Melanie. And he was like, okay, I'll get my stuff and go. Like, he just knew. He ended up and we became incredibly good friends. And if there was like anything good

to come out of this situation. It was me meeting this woman. Like, we're still very close friends. She's one of my favorite people. We, no joke about it in a weird way. It's kind of like dating the same pedophile as a weirdly bonding experience. But there was something she learned from her new friend

that she couldn't let go. She told me that nobody contacted his ex-wife and told her. His family didn't. the police did it. And so he was still seeing his child in this period of time. It's not up to me whether he sees this child or not. I have nothing to do with that.

But I was just so stunned that nobody gave her this information so that she could make an informed decision. At this point, I was like, is it my job to tell her, do I get involved in this? It's maddening. doesn't it feel like something law enforcement or child protective services should do? But they hadn't. And this is where we want to say, Bravo and thank you to Melanie, because she stepped up.

She took it on for no other reason but concerned for someone else's child. I phoned her, and I was like, I know this is weird. I just need five minutes of your time. I told her what had happened. And she was understandably horrified crying on the phone because she was married to this man for seven years and had a child with him, had no idea that any of this had happened. And that was kind of like the last that I had to do with it

because I was like, I now need to step away from this. You may remember from the podcast, an errand situation, it took three years for the state of Texas to bring her husband to justice. It seemed to be similar in Adelaide. At the time that they had arrested him and taken all his devices and stuff like that, the police said they had such a backlog of these cases that it could be like a year, year and a half

before they even got around to searching his drives because that's how common these crimes were. This wasn't even priority. It was like more than a year later that I finally followed up with them because nobody contacted me. I was like, you know, what happened? Did he go to court? And so the investigator told me that, yeah, he did go to court.

He pled guilty. And he was given a seven-month jail sentence, but it was just a suspended sentence. So he didn't actually serve any of the jail time. I guess, like, the most baffling part of this is that he started seeing a psychologist, which would. That's what he should be doing. But the psychologist provided a statement as part of the court proceedings. In her statement, she said that she felt that he did not meet the diagnostic criteria for pedophilia because he was attracted to all forms of depraved and extreme acts of sexual sadism. And the children were not necessarily the focus of that interest.

so I don't know what to make of that. I'm not a psychologist, so I don't know how these things work. I don't even want to try to understand what was going on in his mind, but it surprised me because just the fact that they're like, well, children aren't his only interest, therefore that's somehow less bad. Melanie's story resonated for a few reasons. She listened to her gut and didn't dismiss her feelings of something being off with her partner.

She refused to accept excuses that made no sense, and she went to great lengths to protect women and children she doesn't even know. People like Melanie don't get parades, but I'd give her a cape. If you would like to reach out to the betrayal team, email us at BetrayalPod at gmail.com. That's Betrayal P-O-D at Gmail.com. To report a case of child sexual exploitation, call the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children's Cyber Tip Line at 1-800-E. The Lost. If you or someone you know is worried about their sexual thoughts and feelings towards children, reach out to stopitnow.org.org. In the United Kingdom, go to stopitnow.org.org. In Australia, stopitnow.org.org.com. These organizations can help.

We're grateful for your support. And one way to show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. And don't forget to rate and review betrayal. Five-star reviews go a long way. A big thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group and partnership with IHart Podcasts. The show was executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fasen. Hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning, written and produced by Carrie Hartman. Also produced by Ben Federman, Associate producer Kristen Malkuri. Our IHart team is Ali Perry and Jessica Kreincheck.

Special thanks to Melanie for sharing her story. audio editing and mixing by Matt Dalvecchio, a trail's theme composed by Oliver Baines, music library provided by my music, and for more podcasts from IHeart, visit the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Joel and Matt from How To Money,

if your New Year's resolution is to finally get your finances in shape, we've got your back. Prices, they're still high, and the economy is all over the place. But 2026 is the year for you to get intentional and make real progress. That's right. Each week we break down

what's happening with your money the most important issues to focus on and the small moves that make a big difference. Kick off the year with confidence.

Listen to How to Money on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm John Polk. For years, I was the poster boy of the conversion therapy movement.

The ex-gay who married an ex-lesbian and traveled the world telling my story of how I changed my sexuality from gay to straight. You might have heard my story, but you've never heard the real story. John has never been anything but gay, but he really tried hard not to be.

Listen to Atonement, the John Polk story on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Dr. Jesse Mills, host of the Mailroom podcast. Each January, men promise to get stronger, work harder, and fix what's broken. But what if the real work isn't physical at all? I sat down with psychologist Dr. Steve Poulter to unpack shame, anxiety, and the emotional pain men were never taught how to name. Part of the way through the Valley of Despair is realizing this has happened, and you have to make a choice whether you're going to stay in it or move forward. Our two-part conversation is available now. Listen to the mailroom on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, for wherever you get your favorite shows.

A decade ago, I was on the trail of one of the country's most elusive serial killers. but it wasn't until 2023 when he was finally caught. The answers were there hidden in plain sight, so why did it take so long to catch him? I'm Josh Zeman, and this is Monster, hunting the Long Island serial killer, the investigation into the most notorious killer in New York since the son of Sam, available now.

Listen for free on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast, guaranteed human.