Betrayal - Intimate Visit — Bonus | Jenifer's Story

Episode Date: May 4, 2023

Jenifer recently had a chance to talk with a woman from Spencer’s past. She offers Jen an interesting perspective on who she thought Spencer was and works through her feelings on who he turned out to be. We also hear a sneak peek from Betrayal Season 2, premiering on May 18th. If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal Team, email us at [e-mail].  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Hey, it's Joel and Matt from How to Money. If your New Year's resolution is to finally get your finances in shape, we've got your back. Prices, they're still high. And the economy is all over the place. But 2026 is the year for you to get intentional and make real progress. That's right.

Yeah, each week we break down what's happening with your money, the most important issues to focus on. And the small moves that make a big difference. Kick off the year with confidence. Listen to How to Money on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Dr. Jesse Mills, host of the Mailroom podcast. Each January, men promise to get stronger, work harder, and fix what's broken? But what if the real work isn't physical at all? I sat down with psychologist Dr. Steve Poulter to unpack shame, anxiety, and the emotional pain men were

never taught how to name. Part of the way through the Valley of Despair is realizing this has happened, and you have to make a choice whether you're going to stay in it or move forward. Our two-part conversation is available now. Listen to the mailroom on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. I'm John Polk. For years, I was the poster boy of the conversion therapy movement, the ex-gay who married an ex-lesbian, and traveled the world telling my story of how I changed my sexuality from gay to straight.

You might have heard my story, but you've never heard the real story. John has never been anything that gay. but he really tried hard not to be. Listen to Atonement, the John Polk story on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, it's Andrea Gunning, and if you haven't heard yet, a lot has been happening with Betrial. First, we'll be back with Season 2 of Betrayal starting May 18th, and we even have a sneak peek at the end of this episode. Second, Betrial Season 1 is being turned into a documentary. More details on when and and where it will launch, so stay tuned on the feed for updates.

Looking back now, I was thinking I was way too young for us to have a friendship. And as a married man and me being a single young woman, we should not have had any kind of relationship or regular relationship. Jennifer recently had a chance to talk with a woman from Spencer's past, and she offers an interesting perspective. So why did you decide to speak? with me today? I have to say that even till today, I did have some reservations. Part of me feels as though I'm betraying somebody I've known for 20-something years, but I did want to speak to you,

and I feel I need to speak to you because I think as females, we are kind of told not to speak up. And I've had my experiences with sexual assault and never spoke up. And I feel it is important to be part of this in some way. I guess that historical piece, another person who may have known him for quite some time. I just feel like there should be as many people that can speak to you as possible. Well, I completely understand that. You guys have known each other since when? Gosh, it's been about 25 years, so quite some time.

How did you meet? We met while I was interning for a radio station at the time. Were you guys kind of seeing each other or dating? How would you describe that in the beginning? Yeah, in the beginning, absolutely not. He was a married man, had little children, but something did change. once he did get a divorce, you know, it became a sexual relationship. We always maintained a friendship, and it kind of was off and on.

How was he back then? He was always extremely friendly, extremely giving of his time, very, very positive and always giving compliments. You really felt like he was with you. no matter when, whether we were just strictly friends or more than friends, extremely complimentary. And he made you feel so special all the time. Yeah. And that behavior is so similar with everyone across the board. Yeah.

And, you know, listening to the podcast, there was a lot of what I heard that I didn't experience. I guess, you know, I'm fortunate that I didn't experience some of those negative. things, I didn't see those sides of him. And it makes me really feel for those who were traumatized. And he didn't to me either. Yeah. Yeah. For me, I think it's because he knew me enough to know how to speak with me or treat me, things like that. I feel like maybe it was similar with you. He knew he might not be able to get away with some of this stuff that he could get away with. I think you're pretty spot on right there. Because we didn't have the type of relationship where we were so-called committed.

So if anything were to go wrong, just bye. And I think he realized that. So you guys were kind of seeing each other just whenever on and off. Yeah. Do you remember him talking about getting married again? I do. And he was excited. He was really happy to reconnected with you.

I do recall that being a joyous time for him. He just really felt that you were his person. And I think there was a period where maybe he felt, and I certainly can't speak for him, but perhaps he felt like, okay, this is, this is it, All this is going to stop now. I'm going to focus on this person.

But it didn't stop. Right. I know he did some work for you and you guys would see each other. But how did he justify having this affair after he and I were married? We would check in periodically. I'm like, how are things going? He would tell me about the wine bar that you guys opened. and was really excited and would tell me, you know, oh, she's traveling a lot.

But then I would hear sort of things to justify why we could have a relationship beyond a friendship again. He would say things like, we're not happy. I don't know if he needed to have that in his mind as well, but he certainly sold it as though you guys were really on the outs. Right. And I know that you're not asking this to shame me. However, it happened. Right. And I obviously do feel shameful. I would not want that to be done to me. Sure. But, you know, he's like, well, my wife is going to be out of town. Why don't you come check out the wine bar on a Saturday. I thought, okay, why not? It's going to be harmless. And, you know, it wasn't just a harmless friendly visit. It was an intimate visit. But he certainly sold it as though you were still

living together. You were still on paper married. But emotionally, you guys were not together. anything after that was kind of off and on. Every so often, we would check in and had been a long time. And I don't know why. I was like, I need to Google. And I don't Google people. I don't ever Google myself. I never Google.

And I googled and I saw his mugshot pop up. And I was floored, floored. I thought, what could this man have possibly done? I would never, ever think that he would be arrested for anything. And even when I read the stories and I read the reports, there was part of me that I thought, this has to be a mistake. This has to be a mistake. Because, you know, Spence, he had all these accolades and all of, you know, everybody loved him.

Who would believe it? Right. everybody has that persona that they present when they want to to the masses. I mean, how many times do you hear people saying, I don't believe it? They were so nice. Right. Right. What did you think about the fact that it was a student of his?

I immediately thought, he has kids that age. Would he want that to happen to his children? I was floored. and hearing her story was, I mean, how she was extremely brave to stand up. Right. I'm hoping by us talking about these things, it will encourage people to speak up and to feel safe in doing that. Absolutely. And first and foremost, victims have to feel safe enough to say something.

Yeah. New Year, new goals. economy a better money plan is more necessary than ever. I am Matt and I'm Joel. We are from the How to Money podcast and every week we help you to spend smarter, save more, and make sense of what's going on out there. If you want 2026 to be the year you finally feel in control of your money, we're here to give you the tools and advice to help you make it happen.

Listen to How to Money on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Dr. Priyanko Wally. And I'm Hurricane de Bolo. It's a new year. And on the podcast's health stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be. I like to sleep in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that or am I just depressed?

We talk to experts who share real experiences and insight. You just really need to find where it is that you can have an impact in your own life and just start doing that. We break down the topics you want to know more about. Sleep, stress, mental health, and how the world around us affects our overall health. We talk about all the ways to keep your body in mind, inside and out, healthy. We human beings, all we want is connection. We just want to connect with each other. Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone.

Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A new year doesn't mean erasing who you were. It means honoring what you've survived. and choosing how you want to grow. It means giving ourselves permission to feel what we've been holding and knowing that it's okay to ask for help. I'm Mike Dolorotcha, host of sacred lessons. This podcast is a space for men to talk openly about mental health,

grief, relationships, and the patterns we inherit, but don't have to repeat. Here, we slow down, we listen, we learn how vulnerability becomes strength and how healing happens in community, not in isolation. If you're ready to let go of what no longer serves you and step into the year with clarity, compassion, and purpose, sacred lessons is your companion on your healing journey.

Listen to Sacred Lessons with Mike Delo Rocha on America's number one podcast network, IHeart. Follow Sacred Lessons with Mike Deloosa and start listening on the free IHeart Radio app today. Did you hear that last conversation with us? I did. I did. And I commend you for doing that. I don't know if I could. That had to have been the most difficult conversation of your life, one of them. He was not remorseful. He certainly sounded as though he was the victim because he was incarcerated. Right. And it's unfortunate because this pattern will just continue. He won't be able to break this. cycle. So it really was upsetting to hear him. I know. I mean, that's my fear now that he's out.

It's so unfortunate. Yeah. If you saw Spence, what do you think you would say to him or do? Wow. That's a great question. The first thing comes to mind is how dare you? Who are you? You're certainly not the person I knew all these years. Yeah. After hearing these stories, I really, really, really feel for these women who have experienced that manipulation and especially those who were assaulted and were too young. They were too, too young. Yes, to be lied to and manipulated and groomed and all of those horrible things. Yeah. Yeah.

Their lives are forever changed. Forever changed. And I don't know that he's capable of remorse. I absolutely agree with you. And you're obviously doing this for the masses, you know, for those that are listening to feel that they can have a voice. But you're also doing a lot for those who have been victims and feel like they have a safe space to speak. So I hope that you understand that as well. Thank you very much for saying that. I appreciate it.

Yeah. Thank you. It's true. Well, I know this wasn't easy for you. I am grateful, though, that you're willing to speak out because I think, especially as women, to be honest, to have these kind of conversations and get past kind of the yuckiness of it and, you know, that part. but then talk about the real underlying issue. Yeah. Hopefully we'll just kind of keep doing this work, you know. I mean, if we can have more open and honest conversations, maybe we can make a difference.

Yeah, it's my pleasure, Jen. I'm glad that we could speak today. And thanks to you guys, our betrayal community. And get ready. We'll be back with season two of betrayal starting May 18th. It's about a new betrayal that rarely ever is spoken about, but we'll confront it head on. Here's a sneak peek. My husband and I were opening a business.

His first job was that very next day. One of the clients had asked if they could Venmo him. So he'd called me that morning, September 29th, 2021. He was like, I need you to set up my business Venmo. And I was like, all right. Username and password. for whatever email is connected to your Venmo. So he sent me the login for his iCloud.

And as I'm signing in, he frantically calls me back. He was like, oh, don't worry about it. We'll do it together when we get home. Like, I'm sorry. It's going to be too much. Like, don't do it. I knew by the tenor of his voice that he was trying to hide something. I thought maybe he bought something they didn't want me to know about.

There was nothing in his photos. and then I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. You know, when you open your photos, it's going to show you, like, a whole bunch of them at once. I slammed my computer shut. What the hell did I just see? That's season two of betrayal. Hey, it's Joel and Matt from How To Money. If your New Year's resolution is to finally get your finances in shape.

We've got your back. Prices, they're still high, and the economy is all over the place. But 2026 is the year for you to get intentional and make real progress. That's right. Yeah, each week we break down what's happening with your money, the most important issues to focus on, and the small moves that make a big difference. Kick off the year with confidence. Listen to how to money on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

This is Dr. Jesse Mills, host of the Mailroom podcast. Each January, men promise to get stronger, work harder, and think. fix what's broken. But what if the real work isn't physical at all? I sat down with psychologist Dr. Steve Poulter to unpack shame, anxiety, and the emotional pain men were never taught how to name. Part of the way through the Valley of Despair is realizing this has happened and you have to make a choice whether you're going to stay in it or move forward. Our two-part conversation is available now. Listen to the mailroom on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, for wherever you get your favorite shows. I'm John Polk. For years, I was the poster boy of the

therapy movement, the ex-gay who married an ex-lesbian and traveled the world telling my story of how I changed my sexuality from gay to straight. You might have heard my story, but you've never heard the real story. John has never been anything that gay, but he really tried hard not to be. Listen to Atonement, the John Polk story on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your Podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.