Betrayal - Lorena | Betrayal Weekly

Episode Date: October 17, 2024

A box in the garage reveals to Lorena her husband’s darkest secrets and changes her fundamentalist religious beliefs. If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal Team, email us at [e-mail] and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Hey, it's Joel and Matt from How to Money. If your New Year's resolution is to finally get your finances in shape, we've got your back. Prices, they're still high. And the economy is all over the place. But 2026 is the year for you to get intentional and make real progress. That's right.

Yeah, each week we break down what's happening with your money, the most important issues to focus on. And the small moves that make a big difference. Kick off the year with confidence. Listen to How to Money on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm John Polk. For years, I was the poster boy of the conversion therapy movement. The ex-gay who married an ex-lesbian and traveled the world telling my story of how I changed my sexuality from gay to straight. You might have heard my story, but you've never heard the real story. John has never been anything that gay, but he really tried hard not.

to be. Listen to Atonement, the John Polk story on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Dr. Priyanko Wally. And I'm Hurricane de Bolo. It's a new year. And on the podcast's health stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be. I like to sleep in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that, or am I just depressed? Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone. Listen on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A new year doesn't ask us to become someone new.

It invites us back home to ourselves. I'm Mike Delarocha, a host of sacred lessons, a space for men to pause, reflect, and heal. This year, we're talking honestly about mental health, relationships, and the patterns we're ready to release. If you're looking for clarity, connection, and healthier ways to show, up in your life. Sacred Lessons is here for you. Listen to Sacred Lessons with Mike DeLroach on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. As a little girl, you don't say, oh my gosh, I can't wait to grow up and marry a guy who cheats on me and makes me feel like the only way I can leave is if I'm going to be homeless and in a ditch. I'm Andre Gunning and this is

betrayal, a show about the people we trust the most and the deceptions that change everything. Lorena is a Midwestern mom who's never met a stranger. When she meets someone, she wants to really connect. If you want to sit there and talk about the blue sky and the green grass, please go find somebody else because I don't have time for that. You want to tell me who you are and what you want to be? I'm all over that. She came to the interview with an extra large iced coffee in hand. and the energy level to match. Caffeine. Caffeine, lots of caffeine.

This is how I'll make it. I have 11 children, and I have four grandkids. I'm busy. 11 children. She was 18 when she had her first, and 40 when she had her last. In that time, she didn't go two years

without being pregnant. How did she get here with 11 kids? Well, she belonged to a conservative Baptist church. In her community, big families were the norm, and she loved motherhood. But today, she sees that she was a frog in boiling water. She didn't realize the temperature was being turned up until it was too late.

Lorena was raised by a single mother, and their family moved nearly every year. She always envied her friends who had the stability she didn't seem to have. I really, really wanted the nuclear family. I really wanted, well, look, it's the mom, and it's the dad and it's some kids. Her mom worked in a hospital

and would bring Lorena along with her sometimes to sit in the waiting room. While she was there, she fantasized about a career in medicine, working with premature babies. I wanted to be a doctor. I actually wanted to be a neonatologist. But as she got older and became a teenager,

she and her mom started budding heads. She felt like her mom didn't have time for her. So Lorena started to do exactly what she wanted. When she was 16, she ran away from home. She says it wasn't as dramatic as it sounds. She just went to a friend's house. When her mom found her, she'd been smoking weed. And her mom did something drastic.

My mother figured out that she could put me in drug treatment centers. It was almost like a little mini prison. She went to three. The first wooden key. because they found out that she wasn't struggling with any drug addiction. The second was a psychiatric hospital. They assessed her and kept her there for a few weeks before they determined that she didn't need to be hospitalized.

And so she found another place. And the third place she found? They put everyone there on 800 milligrams of lithium twice a day, whether you needed it or not. As soon as she turned 18, she got out of there. and moved out of the state with her boyfriend. Within a few months, she found out that she was pregnant. From the very moment I took that pregnancy test and saw that positive line, I was so excited.

I just was so incredibly amazed that I could be a mom. But she experienced deception early on in that relationship. I was 20. He told me he was 25. I find out that he lied to me. He's 35. I found his driver's license. 35. That's a lot of age difference. You're not on equal grounds. There's not equal footing. So she did what she'd always done growing up, figure life out by herself. She left him, took the baby, and moved back to her home state, which were not naming here to protect her privacy. And back home, she got herself into college. While she was in school, she had another baby. She was excited to have a second, but she didn't want a long-term relationship with the father.

I'm in college. I'm mostly making A's, a couple of Bs there, except whenever I had my second child. I was in a class that I really shouldn't have been in, and I made a C. Now that she had two young children that she was raising alone, going to medical school seemed unrealistic. So she changed her plans and decided to get her business degree. She began studying to become an accountant. I'm in a business class. And I see the sky across the room.

And I'm like, oh my gosh. He was strikingly handsome, well-dressed, and the smartest one in the class. He asks me if I want to study. And I'm like, he is setting. the standard on all the tests. And he's wanting to study with me. And I'm like, yeah, I love that. And so we make plans.

And when he comes over, we don't study. We're going to call him Peter. So she and Peter stayed up all night talking. Anyway, we're talking and he's just listening to. me. He left somewhere between 4 and 6 a.m. He kissed me and then he left. The next day, he called her. He called me right after he got an outfit for him. Hey, I was just wanting to come by and see you. He made her feel important. They started planning playdates with her two young kids and movie nights at her apartment. And I loved the way he made me feel. He made me feel seen and heard.

He made me feel like I was the smart one. And I don't think that I had felt like some man had ever been that interested in me before. Things were moving quickly. After just a few dates, they became inseparable. With most of my past relationships, they were like easing into relationships. You know, you talk a little bit, but with him, we never stopped seeing one another. She was into him, but Lorena had two small children to protect. She didn't want them to get attached to Peter.

So three months into their relationship, she said she couldn't continue unless he was serious. And at that point in time, he told me he loved me, and he wanted to pursue the relationship with the possibility of marriage, which I was like, what? A few months after that, Lorena went to the doctor for a routine physical. I get a phone call, and they tell me I'm pregnant. So Peter came over that night, and I told him, and I was so scared. I remember we were standing in the kitchen, and he picked me up, put me on

on the counter and looked in my eyes and said, please, please will you marry me? I don't want our child to not have a father. And I was like, yeah, yes, I will. Peter adopted her two younger children. And now as a mom of three and a wife, getting her college degree became even more difficult. I had basically taken that semester off. In the fall, I think I took one class and passed it. And then in the spring, he said, well, how about you just stay home with the kids? And I'm like, wow, that's really thoughtful.

So I decided, yeah, let's try that. I'm so happy to be on with my kids because I haven't ever had this opportunity to just be a full-time mom. All of a sudden, she had the same. the nuclear family she'd always wanted. And Peter promised he would be their provider. While she paused her education, he excelled in his. His professor had told him, you're very smart. If you ever decide to go back and get your master's degree, don't sell yourself short. Go to an Ivy League school. You can get in.

So Peter started applying to MBA programs, and it turned out his professor was right. He was accepted into one of the top three business schools in the country, and the family moved to the northeast for his education. Alone in a new city with her kids, Peter encouraged the family to start going to church. His mother was very religious. She was Pentecostal, and he wanted me to go to church. So I went, and you know what? I found God. I found Jesus right there. She hadn't grown up religious, but the church became. became a home away from home. When Peter graduated from his MBA,

Lorena was there at his graduation with their family and now five children. He even graduated with a high-paying job offer. To make it even better, the job was close to their home state. And this is like the biggest energy company. It's huge. And he's got a good job there.

Back in the heartland with her five kids and her Ivy League husband, Lorena had a dream life. She and Peter started looking for a new church. That's when they found this really cool organization, IBLP. Bill Gothard's Institute in Basic Life Principles. Oh, come here and learn about our program, and it will inspire you and grow you as a parent.

Give you kind of an idea of how to live a better life, how to be a better mother, how to be a better father, a better husband, a better wife. They gave the family workbooks for homeschooling their kids and guides to parenting. They provided free meals and child care. It all came with a conservative, fundamentalist ideology. I bought into that. Peter bought into that.

We bought into that. If you've heard of the Dugger family and their reality TV show 19 kids and counting, you've probably heard of IBLP. The church and the Duggers were featured in the documentary, shiny, happy people that came out in 2023. The Dugger's religion promotes having as many children as physically possible. And Peter certainly believed in that. At first, IBLP was a culture shock for Lorena,

especially what they expected women to wear. like the duggers, like what they have the women they are wearing. Every single one was in what they call a jumper or a long dress that looked like it came out of the 1800s. But Peter thought it was a good example for their daughters. He liked the modesty. He's like, well, I really like for you guys to be dressed like this. It's more modest. And we're setting a standard here in our house.

and it did not take long before I conformed and wore what everyone else wore. The church had strong beliefs about gender roles in the household. Women cannot be over men. Men are the umbrella of protection. The women were there to make the food and to keep the kids quiet.

And the most important principle, allow God to dictate the amount of children you have. So she and Peter had another and another. Sex was every day and sometimes it would be twice a day. Unless he was traveling clearly, or we had just had a baby and then it was we'd wait two weeks. All the while, Lorena was doing the child care on her own. Peter would never change diapers. I think with number three, he might have changed.

10 diapers, but then after that, with babies 4 through 11, I would say that he probably changed each one of them maybe twice, and there may have been a couple that he never changed at all. She understood that their religion had conservative beliefs about gender roles. But deep down, she hoped that he would do more, especially when it came to the kids. I thought that the church was going to help him to be a better husband and a better father. Instead, it helped him hide things better. One night, as Lorena and Peter were going to bed, he was kind of dozing and I was stroking his head. And I was like, Peter, I love you so much. And he said, I love you too, Crystal. I was like, what?

But what did you just call me? New year, new goals, and in this economy, a better money plan is more necessary than ever. I am Matt. And I'm Matt. And I'm Joel. We are from the how to money podcast. And every week, we help you to spend smarter, save more, and make sense of what's going on out there. If you want 2026 to be the year you finally feel in control of your money, we're here to give you the tools and advice to help you make it happen. Listen to how to money on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

A decade ago, I was on the trail of one of the country's most elusive serial killers, but it wasn't until 2023 when he was finally caught. The answers were there, hidden in plain sight. So why did it take so long to catch him? I'm Josh Zeman, and this is Monster, hunting the Long Island serial killer, the investigation into the most notorious killer in New York, since the son of Sam, available now. Listen for free on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Dr. Priyanko Wali. And I'm Hurricane de Bolu. It's a new year. And on the podcast's Health Stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be. I like to sleep in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that or am I just depressed? We talk to experts who share real experiences and insight.

You just really need to find where it is that you can have an impact in your own life start doing that. We break down the topics you want to know more about. Sleep, stress, mental health, and how the world around us affects our overall health. We talk about all the ways to keep your body in mind, inside and out, healthy. We human beings, all we want is connection. We just want to connect with each other. Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone. Listen on the I-heart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A new year day, doesn't mean erasing who you were. It means honoring what you've survived and choosing how you want to grow. It means giving ourselves permission to feel what we've been holding and knowing that it's okay to ask for help.

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Lorena quickly fell into a religious community that promised to help her with child care, marriage, and parenting. And the church wanted families to have as many children as possible. By now, Lorena had seven children with her husband Peter. One night, she was taken aback when her husband called her by the wrong name, Crystal. I was like, what did you just call me? Who's Crystal? And he shot out of bed, shot up. He's like, I didn't say that.

I don't know who Crystal. I don't know what Crystal. I don't even know what Crystal. What are you talking about? He blamed the mistake on sleep deprivation. And it made sense. After all, he was constantly working. His schedule was 6 a.m. to 8 p.m.

So what's that? 14 hours a day? That's Monday through Friday. And then Saturday and Sunday he'd get called in frequently. We'd get out of church and he'd be like, oh, the office called. I got to go. Even though he was working nonstop and made a great salary, their money got tighter and tighter every year.

Christmas came and I remember asking him, can I please just spend $7 on each kit, just $7 a piece? And he was like, we don't have any money at all left. I'm like, where did all the money go? Lorena assumed it was the financial strain of being a family of nine. So I made everyone homemade gifts that year. Everybody got one gift. Despite money being tight, she relied on Peter to be the financial expert in the family. After all, he had an MBA from a top three business school.

He printed out spreadsheets with their budgets and gave Lorena a weekly allowance for her and the kids. I keep telling myself, it's going to get better, it's going to get better. Because it sure as heck couldn't have gotten worse, right? She was wrong about that. At one point, Lorena tried to investigate what was going on. financially. She checked on the bank accounts wanting to understand their expenses and find opportunities to save. But Peter drew a firm boundary. And he said, if you look at this bank account again, I will cut you off and you will not be able to see any finances. After her eighth baby,

she had serious health complications. While they were in the hospital, the doctor pulled them both the side. The doctor says, listen, I know you have eight kids, and I know that you kind of have your beliefs on that and whatever, but in the best interest of your health, you need to put off having any more kids. Peter looked at him and said, we're not going to do that. We believe in letting the Lord give us as many kids as we want. That's what we're going to do. after my eighth child was born, I was in an immense amount of pain. I could not even hold my baby, let alone, feed him.

While I'm healing from all of this, I'm not healthy. And I get pregnant with baby number nine. As their family continued to grow, so did their financial problems. So at this point in time, he had a bank. bankruptcy on his record, and he owed back taxes to the state we lived in. I know that he makes a good six-figure salary, but I'm getting an eighth, maybe not even that much, a tenth of it to feed and clothe the kids. Lorena couldn't understand it.

Peter explained that it was the expenses of the kids and the family that were bankrupting them. In an attempt to salvage their finances, they decided to downsize to a smaller house. And Peter found a new job. And at some point in time, they started requiring him to travel. So here are the kids and I in this dumpy house that he's never put much into. It was very old, falling apart, dilapidated, two-bedroom, one bath for 11 people. It does have running water, but the septic system is a barrel.

Lorena rose to the challenge. I can squeeze blood from a turnip, okay? I can show you how. My oldest son at one point in time came to me and said, Mom, that makes a good six-figure salary. Why are you living the way you're living? I was like, we spend it all. They relied on the church as much as they could.

One summer in 2015, they took the whole family to an IBLP conference. And the speakers that year were the Dekers. This was right after their oldest son had gotten in trouble with Ashley Madison. Ashley Madison is an online dating platform specifically for married people. Their slogan is life is short, have an affair. And back in 2015, their user database had just been hacked. All their users' emails were now public and available online for anyone to see. Mrs. Duggar was talking about how you could go on to some website and look up people's email addresses. And something just clicked in me.

So right then and there, we're in the middle of this conference, and I was like, oh, I need to go feed the baby. I go outside, and I'm looking on my phone, and I look up one of his email addresses, and it shows that he has an Ashley Madison account. And I nearly threw up. I couldn't believe it. She decided to confront him that night. I said, this is what I found. And he was like, that's not me. That email must have been hacked.

Oh, look, I'm going to delete this whole email. Just get rid of the email completely so that you believe me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so it was enough to go, okay, well, maybe he did. Because at this point in time, I believed him because I really had. no other options. I had no other place to go. My mantra is setting it. It's going to get better. It's going to get better. She had nine kids. Lorraine was independent, but raising a family and a household of this size. Going in alone was far too scary to think about. But the truth was she had been alone for a while. He was gone. Having to travel for quote,

unquote work at least one week out of the month. Sometimes it would be two. So I was becoming more and more accustomed to him not being there. September 21st, 2021. Peter was on another trip because that's what he did. I had decided to take my kids to our state fair. On the the way out to the car. I passed by this box. It was just a shoebox of old papers that had been floating around Peter's car for the past few months. She assumed it was just some of Peter's work documents. Nobody looked in it because it's work stuff.

Why would you, I mean, I'm not interested in this work stuff, okay? So nobody looked in it. I must have walked past that box 20 times. But on this day, she was curious. I'm going to look through it. I'm just going to look through it. I'm looking through and I'm seeing all these folders and I see one envelope full of birthday cards.

And so I'm going through and I see this one and on the outside of it, it's labeled Poppy. Like P-A-P-I. I'm like, okay. I open up the envelope and in it is a card. And it says, Dear Poppy Dom, I hope you like the travel book I made you. I have enjoyed our travels together, and I hope to have many more with you.

Love Princess Buttercup. At this point, my blood had ran cold. My hands are trembling, and I am shocked. I don't know what this is. don't know what it means. I don't know if it's a joke. I don't know if it's real. I don't know. New year, new goals. And in this economy, a better money plan is more necessary than ever. I am Matt. And I'm Joel. We are from the how to money podcast. And every week we help you to spend smarter, save more, and make sense of what's going on out there. If you want 2026 to be the year you

finally feel in control of your money, we're here to give you the tools and advice to help you make it happen. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A decade ago, I was on the trail of one of the country's most elusive serial killers, but it wasn't until 2023 when he was finally caught. The answers were there, hidden in plain sight. So why did it take so long to catch him? I'm Josh Zeman, and this is Monster, hunting the Long Island serial killer, the investigation into the most notorious killer in New York, since the son of Sam, available now. Listen for free on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Dr. Priyanko Wally. And I'm Hurricane DeBolu. It's a new year. And on the podcast's health stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be. I like to sleep in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that, or am I just depressed? We talk to experts.

to share real experiences and insight. You just really need to find where it is that you can have an impact in your own life and just start doing that. We break down the topics you want to know more about. Sleep, stress, mental health and how the world around us affects our overall health. We talk about all the ways to keep your body in mind, inside and out, healthy. We human beings, all we want is connection. We just want to connect with each other. Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone.

Listen on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A new year doesn't mean erasing who you were. It means honoring what you've survived and choosing how you want to grow. It means giving ourselves permission to feel what we've been holding and knowing that it's okay to ask for help. I'm Mike Dalarocha, host of Sacred Lessons. This podcast is a space for men to talk openly about mental health, grief, relationships, and the patterns we inherit, but don't have to repeat. Here, we slow down.

We listen. We learn how vulnerability becomes strength and how healing happens in community, not in isolation. If you're ready to let go of what no longer serves you and step into the year with clarity, compassion, and purpose, Sacred Lessons is your companion on your healing journey. Listen to Sacred Lessons with Mike Deloich on America's number one podcast network. IHeart. Follow sacred lessons with Mike Delo Rocha and start listening on the free IHeart radio app today.

While her husband was on a work trip, Lorena found a shoebox of his old work papers. Or at least that's what she thought it was, until she opened it. And I'm looking through and I can't believe I'm finding these weird things. At first, she didn't know what she was seeing. This is really weird. It's just a paper. Target population, progress chart, and then self-assessment scores, calendar. That's what it says.

Right here. What age regression? Only one DOM question mark. And then there's a Venmo routing number. She kept reading. And this is what she came across next. I came across this one sheet and it said rewards. I was like, oh, that's interesting.

Mani Petty from Daddy? A point system? Remote playtime. Certs, dress up, trips, books, watching movie snacks. And then it said, little gets backward. And then on another page, make a schedule, 14 points, workout, 10 points, nutrition, 14 points. It was like a report card or a list of activities to do with a kid. But then there was another column.

There was a little part that said punish, things that I'd never really heard of. Edging without release. And I'm like, yard work, huh? Little did I know. Time Out Corner? It was a reward system. of some kind, and it appeared sexual in nature. But that wasn't all.

There were credit card statements from cards she didn't know about and receipts for strange purchases. Like, oh my word, what is this? Adult baby bottles, adult bibs, adult onesies. Like these are receipts for these things that Peter had purchased. There were things of him, paying baby bear. That was the name of one particular person he was paying.

It was somewhere around $20,000, $30,000 he had spent on all of this. He'd spent $30,000 on sex toys and kink. And who was baby bear? Something was very wrong. She and Peter's sex life had always been tame. It was all just very vanilla. I remember one time me trying to bring us. oh, maybe we should try handcuffs.

How would you feel if I handcuffs you to the bed? And he freaked out on me. Oh my gosh, we can't do that. What if one of us dies during it? Princess Buttercup and Baby Bear were clearly indications of another side of Peter, one that she never knew existed. The Peter she knew was devoted to a conservative fundamentalist church. But this man clearly wasn't who he claimed to be.

Lorena was afraid to confront him on her own, so she called her eldest son, who was 24. He said he would be there in a few days. And he gave her some advice. And until then, you're going to have to hold down the fort. You're going to pretend like everything is fine. You're going to have to play the part of everything is fine. When he calls tonight, act like it's no big deal.

When he comes home, treat it like it's any other night. Peter came home two days before her son made it there, so Lorena did pretend. Finally, her son arrived and they got to work. My son is very technologically advanced, and we were able to go through the computers at home and find things that I never could have found on my own. And what they found there painted a full picture of Peter's deception. We found the real Ashley Madison account that he had. We found pictures of so many women in various states of undress.

We found pictures of women with property of Dom written in Sharpie, property of Peter on one woman. These pictures had timestamps dating back to 2017, four years prior. So how much? much money had he actually spent on affairs? And why had he spent so much on adult diapers, onesies, and baby bottles? Today, this is her understanding of what her husband was doing with these women. He wanted to be the Dom Daddy, and he wanted a little girl to play along with him. As far as she knows, all the women were adults. They were just sometimes pretending to be

children or babies as part of a kink. Lorena pulled up his social media accounts where she found the messages he'd written to these women, even messages where he referenced Lorena. The other thing that I found on there that he said was every night that I'm with you or with her, I will call my wife and I will talk to her for as little time as possible. That hurt. Before she confronted Peter, Lorena made an appointment with a lawyer to talk divorce.

She had told me the state that we live in is no-fault state, and there's not much that we can do unless you have a picture of him having sex. Basically, she said, you've got to have a picture of his genitalia going into someone else's genitalia. Well, I found about 200 pictures and I think three or four videos. Her eldest son was helping her collect this information for the divorce attorneys. They pulled documents together at night, sitting in their parked car in the garage while Peter slept in the house. And that's when they found proof of even more financial deception. He was working at several different universities as an adjunct professor.

So he's making money there and he's hiding it, we found. This man has been spending clearly hand over fist, tons of money. And my children were like almost at poverty level. We had no money. He was hemorrhaging money on this lifestyle. After they gathered all the information they could find, there was one last thing they needed to do. My son says, Mom, I know we have guns in the house.

He took them and brought them to a friend's place. And once the guns were gone, he made sure his mom and siblings were out of the house. And then he confronted his dad. My oldest son went inside to our bedroom and said to Peter, hey, dad, mom knows everything and she wants you to leave and Peter sat up slowly

yawned and stretched big and said oh okay and my son said please leave and he said okay and he left after that Loreno only talked to Peter one more time

on the phone to let him know that she was filing for divorce. I don't remember all the nonsense he tried to say, but what he did tell me was what you are doing is far worse than anything I ever did. What I did, what I was doing was divorcing him. I just laughed. I was like, okay, and we're done. And I have not had a conversation with him since.

That was in 2021. From then on, her son took over all communication with Peter. That allowed Lorena to focus on her emotional and financial recovery. She also had to explain to her 11 kids why their father had left. Her youngest child was five. Those early days were just such and blurt. I do remember telling the children that we were divorcing because of Peter making some very bad decisions.

I think the words I consistently used were poor choices. But when friends and adult family asked, she told them the truth, how she really felt about her husband. Peter was a black hole. She couldn't believe how strange it all was. He was spending tens of thousands of dollars on sexual fetishes, fetishes that included things like baby women, play. But all the while, he was never interested in child care. One thing that kept coming back to me

was how weird he was about changing diapers. And here he is. He spent, you know, thousands of dollars on diapers. After he left and I had filed for divorce, I was still trying to go to church, taking the kids and all that. But after what Peter did, church wasn't the same. There's this cognitive dissonance. I'm now going, what else have I been told

that's not right? This whole patriarchy thing, how is any of this at all biblical? What's real and what's not real? I still have a difficult time going to church. She stopped going to church and is taking time to re-evaluate her spirituality and values. She started going to therapy where she began understanding that what she experienced was spiritual abuse. I'm not going to say all churches because I believe that there are some really awesome churches out there.

I've been to some, okay? but the ones that are perpetuating patriarchal abuse are the ones that are saying, wives submit to your husbands that allows for men to treat women however they desire with no repercussion. She says she was spiritually abused by the church, but also by Peter. Today, she doesn't know if he ever believed any of the fundamentalist ideology, or if he just used it as a way to control her. I look back and I can see Peter used that to keep me under control, to keep me where he wanted me and to keep me behaving in the way he wanted.

And three years ago, I couldn't have told you that. This is three years of heavy-duty therapy. And then there was his devotion to having as much. many kids as God would allow. Was that also just a weapon of control? Looking back, I see why he did that. It kept me busy. His goal was to always keep me busy and to keep me from looking at what he was doing. Because if I wasn't busy with the kids, then my focus was on him. After all, Peter was smart. Unlike a lot of deception stories, he really did get that fancy MBA from an Ivy League. school. And after that, he parked his wife in a fundamentalist church and began an insidious process.

Somewhere along the way, he had started chipping away at my identity of who I was and what I could become. And I believed him. It hurts to look back and think about the life she had before Peter. When I met Peter, I was a strong, independent. woman. I was only 22, but I had two children and I was taking care of them like a boss. I had plans. I had goals. Still, she adores each of her children and she says, they're the reason she's made it through. She's rebuilding her life and finally finishing her degree. it's important for her to explain that not only can betrayal happen to anyone,

but so can indoctrination. People do ask, how does a capable, intelligent person go from, hey, I'm a single mom and I'm killing it. I'm full-time mom. I'm full-time student. I'm full-time employee. How does someone go from that to,

I'm not allowed to look at the financial statements of the house. You're comfortable in the beginning. Hey, you know, you're not really that great at keeping track of things. You might forget. You've got so much on your plate. Let me just do all the finances. I'll take care of it. All the way to, if you look at this bank account again,

I will cut you off and you will not be able to see any finances. You're a boiled frog. We end all of our episodes with the same question. Why do you want to tell your story? And Lorena came prepared to answer this one. The reason I wanted to tell my story is so that others who are out there in a similar situation might have their eyes opened and go, wow, if she can do it with 11 kids,

seven still at home, and with all the odds stacked against her, so can I. If my story can just help one person to see a little clearer, to feel a little bit of comfort, to think that their life is not over, you're not too old to get out. it is never too late to start over and find who you are. That's my hope. On the next episode of Betrayal. Who is this person? Have I been with an axe murderer?

A serial rapist? I've got to find out this person's real name. If you would like to reach out to the betrayal team or want to tell us your betrayal story, email us at Betrayal. Pod at gmail.com. That's Betrayal P-O-D at gmail.com. We're grateful for your support.

One way to show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. And don't forget to rate and review Betrayal. Five-star reviews go a long way. A big thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with I-Heart Podcasts.

The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fasin. Hosted and Produced and produced by me, Andrea Gunning. Written and produced by Monique Laborde. Also produced by Ben Federman. Associate producers are Kristen Mulcuri and Caitlin Golden. Our I-Hart team is Ali Perry and Jessica Kreincheck.

Audio editing and mixing by Matt Dalvecchio. Additional editing support from Nico Aruka and Tanner Robbins. Betrayals theme composed by Oliver Baines. Music library provided by Mib Music. And for more podcasts from IHeart, visit the IHart Radio. app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Joel and Matt from How to Money. If your New Year's resolution is to finally get your finances in shape, we've got your back.

Prices, they're still high, and the economy is all over the place. But 2026 is the year for you to get intentional and make real progress. That's right. Yeah, each week we break down what's happening with your money, the most important issues to focus on and the small moves that make a big difference. Kick off the year with confidence. Listen to How to Money on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm John Polk. For years, I was the poster boy of the conversion therapy movement.

The ex-gay who married an ex-lesbian and traveled the world telling my story of how I changed my sexuality from gay to straight. You might have heard my story, but you've never heard the real story. John has never been anything but gay. but he really tried hard not to be. Listen to Atonement, the John Polk story on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Dr. Priyanko Wally. And I'm Hurricane de Bolu. It's a new year.

And on the podcast's health stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be. I like to sleep in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that? am I just depressed? Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone. Listen on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A new year doesn't ask us to become someone new. It invites us back home to ourselves.

I'm Mike Delarocha, a host of sacred lessons, a space for men to pause, reflect, and heal. This year, we're talking honestly about mental health, relationships, and the patterns we're ready to release. If you're looking for clarity, connection, and healthier ways to show up in your life, sacred lessons is here for you. Listen to Sacred Lessons with Mike Delaroach on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.