Betrayal - Melissa’s Listener Essay | Betrayal Weekly — BONUS

Episode Date: April 17, 2025

In our first listener essay, Melissa reads her account of resilience and healing after her father’s betrayal.    If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal Team, email us at [e-mail] and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Hey, it's Joel and Matt from How to Money. If your New Year's resolution is to finally get your finances in shape, we've got your back. Prices, they're still high. And the economy is all over the place. But 2026 is the year for you to get intentional and make real progress. That's right.

Yeah, each week we break down what's happening with your money, the most important issues to focus on. And the small moves that make a big difference. Kick off the year with confidence. Listen to How to Money on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm John Polk. For years, I was the poster boy of the conversion therapy movement. The ex-gay who married an ex-lesbian and traveled the world telling my story of how I changed my sexuality from gay to straight. You might have heard my story, but you've never heard the real story. John has never been anything that gay, but he really tried hard not.

to be. Listen to Atonement, the John Polk story on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A decade ago, I was on the trail of one of the country's most elusive serial killers, but it wasn't until 2023 when he was finally caught. The answers were there, hidden in plain sight. So why did it take so long to catch him? I'm Josh Zeman, and this is Monster, hunting the Long Island serial killer, The investigation into the most notorious killer in New York since the son of Sam, available now. Listen for free on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Dr. Priyankawali. And I'm Hurricane Dabolu.

It's a new year. And on the podcast's health stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be. I like to sleep in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that or am I just depressed? Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone. Listen on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, it's Andre Gunning.

A few weeks ago, we put a call out for your listener essays. We wanted to hear from you about resilience after a devastating betrayal. And we received so many incredible essay submissions. So for this episode, we're going to feature the first of two listener essays that really moved me. This one is written and read by a listener named Melissa. Pain has been both my burden and my teacher, breaking me open in ways I never wanted and shaping me into someone I never expected to become. As a teenager, my world fractured in an instant. My father, my anchor, was ripped away, not by death,

but by his own betrayal. He was sent to prison for raping a teenage girl. The man I looked to for protection became the reason I no longer felt safe or sure of who I was. It wasn't just the act he committed. It was the way it shattered everything I thought I knew about love, trust, and family.

That wound didn't heal. It seeped into the fabric of my life, dictating the person I became. The echoes of that picture, trail followed me like shadows, coloring every decision I made, lingering over my shoulder, and even scaring away some who learn the truth. In my desperate need to find stability, to build a life that felt whole, I married a man who was battling his own demons. He was a secret addict and an alcoholic, someone who

hid his pain while drowning it in substances. When I learned of his struggle, I thought I could save him. I believe that what I went through early on would give me the strength to push through. Maybe, deep down, I thought saving him would somehow redeem the parts of my life I couldn't. But love cannot survive where it is consumed by unrelenting chaos. We bore a son together, my saving grace. I stayed with my husband until I couldn't anymore. The strength to leave didn't come all at once. It came in fragments, small moments of clarity, of exhaustion. And finally, after a friend reminded me of my strength, I was given a new understanding that trying to save him would mean losing myself. Walking away was one of the hardest things I'd ever done. It meant

accepting that I couldn't fix everything. It meant carrying the weight of yet another failure, another loss, another broken family. But leaving wasn't the end. It was the beginning. Pain has a way of carving you hollow, but it also creates space. Space to grow, to rebuild, to transform. Slowly, I began to see my pain for what it was, a relentless teacher showing me how to live with open eyes and an open heart. The wounds I carry, though deep, have given me something unexpected, the ability to see what others try to hide.

I see the hurt in those around me, the silent struggles, the stories etched into their eyes. And when I meet someone who is carrying this pain, I've learned to love them through their own traumas, through their own burdens of guilt and feelings of unworthiness. Raising my son has been my greatest redemption. Every day, I strive to teach him the things life has taught me, to be kind even when it's hard,

to be strong but never unfeeling, to hold compassion as his compass, and to walk through life in a way that brings light to a dark world. He is my proof that something beautiful can rise from the ashes of a broken past. I've chosen to live with curiosity instead of judgment, to approach others not with condemnation but with a desire to understand. Everyone carries their own wounds, their own betrayals, their own burdens. I've found that sharing our traumas creates a mutual trust,

allowing us to release the weight of that burden together. My pain has taught me to find beauty in the shattered pieces, to see the sunbeams that filter through the dark clouds. It has taught me that even in brokenness there is grace, and even in hurt, there is healing. The journey hasn't been easy. There are still days when the weight of it all feels unbearable, when the memories rise like tides and threaten to drown me, when I'm reminded how the family I once had is no longer. But I've learned to let those waves come, to let those waves come, to let us.

them crash over me without pulling me under. I've learned to stand in the storm and let it pass. If pain has taught me anything, it's that we are all broken in some way. But brokenness is not the end of the story. It is in the cracks where the light shines through. It is in the healing that we find purpose. My pain has become my strength, my compass, my gift. It has taught me to love, to forgive, and to see beauty where others see ruin. I've transformed my hurt into healing, not just for myself, but for those who cross my path. I give my time to those who need it most, offering compassion and a listening ear to those who have also been broken by life. I share my story not knowing how it will be received, but trusting in the power of vulnerability.

Time and again, I've found that sharing creates a connection, a reminder that none of us walk this path alone. I've chosen to live with an open heart, welcoming the messiness of life and finding grace and peace within it. My pain will always be a part of me, etched into who I am, but it no longer holds me captive. Instead, it has shaped me into someone stronger, someone free, someone who can rise from the ashes, and be an example and encouragement for others to do the same. When we come back, our producer talks with Melissa about her writing process. And stay tuned until the end of the episode when we'll be sharing the theme of our next listener essay. New year, new goals, and in this economy, a better money plan is more necessary than ever.

I am Matt. And I'm Joel. We are from the How to Money podcast. And every week we help you to spend smarter, save more, and make sense of what's going on out there. If you want 2026 to be the year you finally feel in control of your money, we're here to give you the tools and advice to help you make it happen. Listen to How to Money on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey there, this is Dr. Jesse Mills, director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health and host of the Mailroom podcast. Each January guys everywhere make the same resolutions. Get stronger, work harder, fix, what's broken? But what if the real work isn't physical at all? To kick off the new year, I sat down with Dr. Steve Polter, a psychologist with over 30 years' experience,

helping men unpack shame, anxiety, and emotional pain they were never taught to name. In a powerful two-part conversation, we discuss why men aren't emotionally bulletproof, why shame hides in plain sight, and how real strength comes from listening to yourself and to others. Guys who are toxic, they're immature, or they've got something they just haven't resolved. Once that gets resolved, then there comes empathy as in compassion. If you want this to be the year, you stop powering through pain and start understanding what's underneath, listen to the mailroom on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. A decade ago, I was on the trail of one of the country's most elusive

serial killers, but it wasn't until 2023 when he was finally caught. The answers were there, hidden in plain sight. So why did it take so long to catch him? I'm Josh Zeman, and this is Monster, hunting the Long Island serial killer, the investigation into the most notorious killer in New York since the son of Sam, available now. Listen for free on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Dr. Priyanko Wali. And I'm Hurricane de Bolu. It's a new year, and on the podcast's health stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health.

Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be. I like to sleep in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that, or am I just depressed? We talk to experts who share real experiences and insight. You just really need to find where it is that you can have an impact in your own life and just start doing that. We break down the topics you want to know more about. Sleep, stress, mental health, and how the world around us affects our overall health. We talk about all the ways to keep your body in mind, inside and out, healthy.

We human beings, all we want is connection. We just want to connect with each other. Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone. Listen on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm going to hand it over to our producer Moe, who talked with Melissa for this episode. Can you tell me a little bit about the process of writing this? What did that look like? I was listening to the podcast while I was sitting in the waiting room of the passport office.

and I had about 45 minutes, and I heard right at the beginning of the podcast that you guys were doing this essay submission. And I was like, you know what? I've got time. I'm going to do it now. And I just sat there and I just started thinking about my pain and thinking about how it's affected me in good ways and bad. And I just started writing. in my notes on my phone and just kept rereading it and editing it, rereading it and editing it. Honestly, I wanted it to be more about the healing than the pain because I spent so much of my life focusing so much on what the trauma was. And I always thought, you know, there's going to be a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm going to look back in 20 years and I'm going to see how much good this did in my life. And honestly, that's not the case. More often than not, the trauma that I went through was just all-encompassing.

And the pain was debilitating a lot of times. That's definitely like the inner voice, right? Like, every time I share it, I'm like, do I really need to share this? Does somebody really want to hear this? It really can mess with what you think about yourself. And so I really wanted that to be what this essay was about. It's really not about coming out on the other side and like, oh, the trauma's gone and we're all good and everything's fine. I mean, I'm sure you guys hear it a lot from people emailing you in.

Like, wow, this story was incredible and this was so helpful for me. But there's so many people that are not writing in that are feeling the same thing. So as I was sitting and writing it, it was very important to me that I focus on the aspect of using this trauma for good. And yeah, when you do share it with other people, it really does create this amazing connection. Like I feel like as humans, if we did a lot more of this sharing, that it would heal a lot of very broken people. I wonder what your encouragement would be for people who are listening who might want to share their story. Yeah. I think in my experience, both in my professional career and in my personal life, I've come across so many people who feel that they're not able to do something that they want to do.

A lot of it with imposter syndrome is just like, you know, you don't think you're good enough or people aren't going to take it the right way. or I'm not going to say you have the right words. And honestly, the only way that I was able to do this was just to spit it all out on paper and send it. I probably spent less than an hour in total in writing, editing, and then just hitting the sun button. And some of that for me was just getting the words out on paper and wanting to get rid of them. You know, like I've put this down and I need it to be out of my hands. Wow. Our whole team is really grateful that you wrote in and shared this with us and shared everything you've learned in this essay. It really means a lot that you guys asked me to do it. I was honestly very shocked when I saw the email.

Like, oh, my gosh, not only did they read it, but they want me. But I am very, very, very thankful to your team and everything that you guys do because it really is important. So please don't stop. Thank you so much for listening, and thank you to the incredible listeners who wrote in to share their essays on the theme of resilience. We were so moved by your submissions

that we're bringing you more of these listener essays. And our next theme will be, the moment everything changed. Set the scene. Take us back to that memory. Describe the feelings and thoughts you had in the moment when everything changed for you. The limit is a thousand words.

If your story stands out, it might be featured in a bonus episode. Please save your submission as a PDF and email it to Betrayalpod at gmail.com. If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal team or want to tell us your betrayal story, email us at Betrayalpod at gmail.com. That's Betrayal P-O-D at Gmail.com.

We're grateful for your support. One way to show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. And don't forget to rate and review betrayal. Five-star reviews go a long way. A big thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group

and partnership with IHeart podcasts. The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fasin. Hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning. Written and produced by Monique Laborde. Also produced by Ben Federman. Associate producers are Kristen Mulcuri and Caitlin Golden. Our IHeart team is Ali Perry and Jessica Kreincheck.

Audio editing and mixing by Matt Delvecchio. Additional editing support from Tanner Robbins. Betrayals theme composed by Oliver Baines. Music library provided by Mib Music. And for more podcasts from IHeart, visit the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Joel and Matt from How To Money.

If your New Year's resolution is to finally get your finances in shape, we've got your back. Prices, they're still high. the economy is all over the place. But 2026 is the year for you to get intentional and make real progress. That's right. Yeah, each week we break down what's happening with your money, the most important issues to focus on, and the small moves that make a big difference. Kick off the year with confidence. Listen to how to money on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm John Polk. For years, I was the poster boy of the conversion therapy movement.

the ex-gay who married an ex-lesbian and traveled the world telling my story of how I changed my sexuality from gay to straight. You might have heard my story, but you've never heard the real story. John has never been anything that gay, but he really tried hard not to be. Listen to Atonement, the John Polk story on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A decade ago, I was on the Trump. trail of one of the country's most elusive serial killers, but it wasn't until 2023 when he was finally caught. The answers were there, hidden in plain sight. So why did it take so long to catch him? I'm Josh Zeman, and this is Monster, hunting the Long Island

serial killer, the investigation into the most notorious killer in New York, since the son of Sam, available now. Listen for free on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Dr. Priyanko Wally. I'm Hurricane de Bolu. It's a new year, and on the podcast, Health Stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be. I like to sleep in late and sleep early.

Is there a chronotype for that, or am I just depressed? Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.