Betrayal - Molly’s Listener Essay | Betrayal Weekly — BONUS

Episode Date: April 24, 2025

Molly reads her story of resilience and healing after an abusive relationship.  If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal Team, email us at [e-mail] and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Hey, it's Joel and Matt from How to Money. If your New Year's resolution is to finally get your finances in shape, we've got your back. Prices, they're still high. And the economy is all over the place. But 2026 is the year for you to get intentional and make real progress. That's right.

Yeah, each week we break down what's happening with your money, the most important issues to focus on. And the small moves that make a big difference. Kick off the year with confidence. Listen to How to Money on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm John Polk. For years, I was the poster boy of the conversion therapy movement. The ex-gay who married an ex-lesbian and traveled the world telling my story of how I changed my sexuality from gay to straight. You might have heard my story, but you've never heard the real story. John has never been anything that gay, but he really tried hard not.

to be. Listen to Atonement, the John Polk story on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A decade ago, I was on the trail of one of the country's most elusive serial killers, but it wasn't until 2023 when he was finally caught. The answers were there, hidden in plain sight. So why did it take so long to catch him? I'm Josh Zeman, and this is Monster, hunting the Long Island serial killer, The investigation into the most notorious killer in New York since the son of Sam, available now. Listen for free on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Dr. Priyankawali. And I'm Hurricane Dabolu.

It's a new year. And on the podcast's health stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be. I like to sleep in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that or am I just depressed? Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, it's Andre Gunning.

A few weeks ago, we put a call out for your listener essays. We wanted to hear from you about resilience after a devastating betrayal. And we received so many incredible essay submissions. For this episode, we're going to feature the second of two essays that really moved me. It's written and read by a listener named Molly. The willow tree bends, but it does not break. It weather storms by swaying with the wind, its roots gripping the earth with quiet determination. I didn't know I had that kind of strength until the night I left.

With my seven-and-a-half-month-old baby in my arms and a carry-on suitcase packed for a nine-day trip. I thought I'd be gone for a short while, but life had other plans. Then again, when I got married, I didn't think I'd have to flee from him in fear for my safety and that of my child. Over the next year, I would cross eight states, learning to bend, adapt, and survive, with nothing but determination, hope, and my baby. The breaking point, the night I knew I had to leave. The conflict started almost immediately after saying I do. Before marriage, I'd noticed differences in how he handled stress, how quickly he became worked up, but I convinced myself it was manageable.

Then, within months of being married, he became someone else. The man who had once written me cards each month and planned thoughtful dates, now picked fights over the smallest things, how I ate my apples, whether I let my coffee get cold. Things that shouldn't have mattered to anyone, but somehow mattered enough to him to start an argument. I was exhausted, constantly trying to run. recapture the person I had married. When I got pregnant, the shift was undeniable.

The first time he left bruises on my arms, it was because I wouldn't sit on the couch when ordered to, and a voice that sent chills down my spine. It wasn't a request. It was a demand. And when I refused, his grip tightened. That was the first time. But it wasn't the last. The final night was the worst of my life.

I wasn't allowed to sleep. He berated me for hours, his voice drilling into my skull, his words cutting deeper than the bruises he left behind. Bruises on my arms, my legs, knuckle prints on my rib cage, a giant bruise across my jaw. I didn't realize you could even bruise from repeated slaps across the face. I don't remember how many times he hit me, but I do remember the moment that changed everything. He had been holding our baby when he put her down just so he could slap me. I watched, helpless as she fell off the bed. That was it.

That was the moment. I knew there was no more trying, no more hoping he would change. The only thing that mattered now was getting out. Storm 1. California. Carrying the weight. California was supposed to be a temporary stop. I worked 40-hour weeks with my baby strapped to my chest, sharing a room with my sister, her two dogs,

and the whirlwind of uncertainty that had become my life. The stress of filing for divorce and obtaining a restraining order was relentless, but somehow we still found moments of joy. We laughed, we played, we made memories that softened the sharp edges of my reality. Adaptation wasn't a choice, it was survival. The wounds were fresh, but laughter made me remember who I was. Before. Roots that travel.

The tree tattoo. In the midst of all the moving, from state to state, carrying only what I could manage, I felt completely unanchored. Safety meant staying in motion, never lingering too long in one place, never feeling truly settled. The instability weighed on me, but I clung to one truth. Even if I wasn't planted, my roots still went with me. That's why, during my time in California, I got the tree tattoo,

a tree with strong roots, but at the same time, empty, barren leaves. It was a reminder that no matter where I had to go, I wasn't lost. I carried my strength, my history, and my identity within me, even when everything around me felt uncertain. Another step toward wholeness. Storm 2. Texas. The In Texas, I lived in three different places, the last being with the family I'd never met before we moved in. I was able to continue working remotely and feel a bit of freedom to fill our days with park visits, time with my friends who lived in the area, and begin to think and maybe even dream, I'll live. little about the future. The divorce was final in June. As I hung up the phone with my lawyer,

I wipe my tears and high-fived the baby in the high chair and said, we've got this girlie, we're going to be okay, better than okay. I had begun counseling and went twice a week in Texas learning what had happened to me, figuring out red flags I missed, discovering myself again. Storm 3, Mississippi, an unplanned gift. Texas had been my plan as I just wanted to stay put for a little while. But when my housing fell through and I couldn't yet afford rent, Mississippi became my unexpected refuge. What felt like another setback turned out to be exactly where I needed to be. My father had just been diagnosed with prostate cancer and being there meant I could help care for him, cook for my grandmother, and have a stable place with my baby.

But the greatest gift was the time spent with my grandma. More importantly, she and my baby got to know each other, not just in passing visits, but in the quiet everyday moments that make up a life. We went to library's story time together, made meals side by side, and at night after the baby was asleep, we shared bowls of coffee ice cream, talking in the kind of unhurried way that only happens when you live under the same roof. For two months, I had the privilege of knowing her not just as my grandmother, but as a woman, and she got to love my daughter in that same way. Mississippi was never part of my plan, but it became a balm for my heart, an unexpected pause where I could catch my breath and be surrounded by love. Storm 4, Indiana. My hometown was a wonderful place to grow up,

but I never imagined living there as an adult. Life is funny that way. For eight months, we shared a two-bedroom apartment with my mom, planning our next steps, maybe even a place to stay for good. The three of us became a team. And my mother, I finally found the space to to thrive in motherhood. He had made that impossible, but she had always modeled love and support. Now for the first time, I had the chance to parent with someone, not alone. I found a support group to attend each Wednesday. There, I found perspective and growth and started to realize how much stronger I was than when I first went to counseling, fresh from the abuse, numb and damaged by all that I'd experienced. I was starting to trust myself again.

I started to believe people were still good and loving and kind in the world. I remembered I was loved just as I was, and that I was enough just for being me. In Indiana, I was able to even participate in a fundraising event for the local woman's shelter, telling my story before a 5K. Voicing for the first time that going through abuse doesn't make you weak, and that healing from abuse is true strength. The End of the Bend, North Carolina. North Carolina became more than just another stop.

It became home. After years of bending with the storms, I had finally found solid ground. To mark the journey, I went to a new tattoo artist to complete what had begun in California. The tree on my skin, once bare, now had green leaves. As the ink settled, I felt the weight of the past few years, the fear, the exhaustion, the moments I thought I wouldn't make it. But I had. I had not only survived, I had grown. And life kept growing with me.

In time, I fell in love again, love that was steady and safe. I built a new life, a family, and welcomed another baby. Proof that healing isn't just moving on from pain, but making room for joy. The fear never fully disappeared. He tried to find us while I was pregnant with my second daughter. But he did not win. We are safe. We are free. We are strong.

Now I give back, offering the kind of support I once needed. I share my story so others know they aren't alone. Healing is not a straight path. We never return to who we were before the storm. But like the willow, we can root ourselves in resilience, bend without breaking, and, when the time is right, grow fresh leaves once more. When we come back, our producer talks with Molly about her writing process. And stay tuned until the end of the episode when we'll be sharing our next listener essay theme.

New year, new goals. And in this economy, a better money plan is more necessary than ever. I am Matt. And I'm Joel. We are from the How to Money podcast. And every week we help you to spend smarter, save more, and make sense of what's going on out there. If you want 2026 to be the year you finally feel in control of your money, we're here to give you the tools and advice to help you make it happen.

Listen to How to Money on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast. Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey there, this is Dr. Jesse Mills, director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health and host of the mailroom podcast. Each January guys everywhere make the same resolutions. Get stronger, work harder, fix, what's broken? But what if the real work isn't physical at all? To kick off the new year, I sat down with Dr. Steve Polter, a psychologist with over 30 years' experience, helping men unpack shame, anxiety, and emotional pain they were never taught the name.

In a powerful two-part conversation, we discuss why men aren't emotionally bulletproof, why shame hides in plain sight, and how real strength comes from listening to yourself and to others. Guys who are toxic, they're immature, or they've got something they just haven't resolved. Once that gets resolved, then there comes empathy, as in compassion. If you want this to be the year you stop powering through pain and start understanding what's underneath, listen to the mailroom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever. you get your favorite shows. A decade ago, I was on the trail of one of the country's most elusive serial killers,

but it wasn't until 2023 when he was finally caught. The answers were there, hidden in plain sight. So why did it take so long to catch him? I'm Josh Zeman, and this is Monster, hunting the Long Island serial killer, the investigation into the most notorious killer in New York, since the son of Sam, available now. Listen for free on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you're get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Dr. Priyankawali. And I'm Hurricane de Bolu. It's a new year. And on the podcast's health stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be. I like to sleep in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that or am I just depressed? We talk to experts who share real experiences and insight.

You just really need to find where it is that you can have. impact in your own life and just start doing that. We break down the topics you want to know more about. Sleep, stress, mental health, and how the world around us affects our overall health. We talk about all the ways to keep your body in mind, inside and out, healthy. We human beings, all we want is connection. We just want to connect with each other. Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone.

Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm going to hand it over to our producer Mo, who talked with Molly for this episode. Can you just tell me a little bit about what the process of writing this was like for you? Yeah, I mean, I have had a lot of distance and time for healing. And so I think looking back and seeing the journey was important to me and trying to weave that through just because anyone that leaves abuse, it can be chaotic, especially at first. there's just a lot of upheaval and people think leaving is it. That's it. And it's just the start. It's the first step. And there's so much that comes after that. So I just really wanted to emphasize and hopefully have people relate to just that journey that is leaving and how much that becomes its own story, really. I want to talk about the headings you used and why you chose to title some of these headings, you know, Storm 1, Storm 2, what a store mean and why did you title the headings that way?

There was just so much upheaval. I mean, when I left, legitimately, I had a trip planned. It's a yearly trip I do with my college girlfriends. And he had been threatening me and saying I wasn't going to go. He had hid my suitcase. He'd taken my phone. I didn't know if I was going. So that night before, when I literally slept 45 minutes and I had a three-hour drive to the airport and he was going to drive us.

I didn't know if it was happening. So he woke me up. I took a shower. We drove to the airport. I was in shock, honestly, that we were leaving. I had a nine-day carry-on. Like, I had packed for me and a baby for nine days going to Florida. This was not me leaving. This was not me packing up my life, taking any documents I needed, you know, anything important. It was just some clothes for nine days. And we never went back. Not one time. So I guess the storm was really just each step was unplanned. I went to L.A. I was supposed to be there for a birthday for my daughter's first birthday, stayed for two months. And it just kept being things like that where I had a plan and then everything else happened around me. You know, I had a place to live in Texas. That fell through. My dad got diagnosed with cancer.

that seemed the next logical step. Go be with family. And then go back to your hometown, figure out next steps. And so each time it was a storm, but storms can not kind of be peaceful. And ironically, now I listen to a thunderstorm to sleep. So it's actually calming to the system. And when I look back, they all had such purpose. How did it feel for you putting this down on paper and then reading it out loud? I mean, the process was fairly, seamless, I would say, just because I've thought of it so often since, and I've, you know, I've journaled and I've done things like that. It's not been obviously in this sort of structure as an essay or anything like that. But I think it's always a little bit therapeutic to take

ownership of it. And I kind of describe it to other people as it almost happened to someone else because I'm now someone else. So when I look back, it's almost, it's not disassociation, But it's not emotional as far as like I'm not emotionally affected by telling it. I'm empowered by telling it because I remember what I've gone through and who I am now. And I don't remember that girl that left because she was just such a different version of me. But I was not fully destroyed. And that's something I hope people remember is even if it's, you know, day one you just left yesterday, you will become something else, I promise.

Thank you so much for listening and thank you to the incredible listeners who wrote in to share their essays on the theme of resilience. We were so moved by your submissions that we're bringing you more of these listener essays. And our next theme will be, the moment everything changed. Set the scene. Take us back to that memory. Describe the feelings and thoughts you had in the moment when everything changed for you. The limit is a thousand words. If your story stands out, it might be featured in a bonus episode. Please save your submission as a PDF and email it to BetrayalPod at gmail.com.

If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal team or want to tell us your betrayal story, email us at Betrayalpod at gmail.com. That's Betrayal P-O-D at Gmail.com. We're grateful for your support. One way to show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. And don't forget to rate and review betrayal. Five-star reviews go a long way. A big thank you to all of our listeners.

Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group and partnership with IHeart podcasts. The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fasin. Hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning. Written and produced by Monique Laborde. Also produced by Ben Federman. Associate producers are Kristen Mulcuri and Caitlin Golden. Our IHart team is Ali Perry and Jessica Kreincheck. Audio editing and mixing by Matt Delvecchio.

Additional editing. support from Tanner Robbins. Betrayals theme composed by Oliver Baines, music library provided by Mib Music. And for more podcasts from IHeart, visit the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Joel and Matt from How To Money. If your New Year's resolution is to finally get your finances in shape, we've got your back. Prices, they're still high and the economy is all over the place. But 2026 is the year for you to get intentional and make real progress.

That's right. Yeah, each week we break down what's happening with your money, the most important issues to focus on, and the small moves that make a big difference. Kick off the year with confidence. Listen to How to Money on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm John Polk. For years, I was the poster boy of the conversion therapy movement, the ex-gay who married an ex-lesbian and traveled the world. telling my story of how I changed my sexuality from gay to straight. You might have heard my story, but you've never heard the real story.

John has never been anything but gay, but he really tried hard not to be. Listen to Atonement, the John Polk story on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A decade ago, I was on the trail of one of the country's most elusive serial killers, but it wasn't until 2023 when he was finally caught. The answers were there, hidden in plain sight. So why did it take so long to catch him? I'm Josh Zeman, and this is Monster,

hunting the Long Island serial killer, the investigation into the most notorious killer in New York since the son of Sam, available now. Listen for free on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Dr. Priyanko Wally. And I'm Hurricane de Bolo. It's a new year, and on the podcast,

Health Stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be. I like to sleep in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that or am I just depressed? Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.