Betrayal - Parole — Bonus | Jenifer's Story

Episode Date: August 4, 2022

Andrea and Jenifer discuss the emotional impact of Spencer's release from prison.  If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal Team, email us at [e-mail].  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Hey, it's Joel and Matt from How to Money. If your New Year's resolution is to finally get your finances in shape, we've got your back. Prices, they're still high. And the economy is all over the place. But 2026 is the year for you to get intentional and make real progress. That's right.

Yeah, each week we break down what's happening with your money, the most important issues to focus on. And the small moves that make a big difference. Kick off the year with confidence. Listen to How to Money on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Dr. Jesse Mills, host of the Mailroom podcast. Each January, men promise to get stronger, work harder, and fix what's broken. But what if the real work isn't physical at all? I sat down with psychologist Dr. Steve Poulter to unpack shame, anxiety, and the emotional pain men were never taught how to name.

Part of the way through the Valley of Despair is realizing this has happened, and you have to make a choice whether you're going to stay in it or move forward. Our two-part conversation is available now. Listen to the mailroom on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. I'm John Polk. For years, I was the poster boy of the conversion therapy movement, the ex-gay who married an ex-lesbian, and traveled the world telling my story of how I changed my sexuality from gay to straight. You might have heard my story, but you've never heard the real story.

John has never been anything that gay. but he really tried hard not to be. Listen to Atonement, the John Polk story on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is betrayal. Bonus episode three. Parole. This is a conversation Jen and I recorded on Thursday, July 28th. I wanted us get on a call because, like, as of, I think about an air,

hour ago, Spencer was released from prison. Yeah. It's crazy because there were moments during all of this where he was going to get parole. And then a year ago, he got his parole revoked after the victim wrote a letter to the parole board. And then they granted him parole and he was supposed to get out in June. And then they denied him transitional housing. and now all of a sudden he is out.

And so how much time did he actually do behind bars? He got charged on six counts of sexual assault of a student. He was sentenced for each of those counts to 20 years, but only to serve five of those years in prison. And he was serving all six counts at the same time concurrently. And he got out in four years and one month. It feels like a long time ago that the police came and arrested him from our house. And now he's walking out of those prison walls.

It's almost like a lifetime ago. I'm a different person now. I've just gone through a lot and I think I'm stronger for it. Oh, but there's no question. I mean, we've talked a lot about the person you were when that happened in 2018 and the person that you are now. And you're still Jen, but there's been so much more to your foundation and strength that you've accumulated over the last four years. But when did you find out? So it's weird.

I thought the state was going to give me 72 hours notice before he got out. Instead, Rachel called me last week and said, I got a message that he was getting out. So that's how I found out. I think she knew how important it was to me to know as well. So it's one of those things where whoever had gotten the information first would have called the other. She and I stay in touch. We support each other. How was she doing with the news?

Was it tough? Yeah, I think it's tough for her right now. She's still feeling nervousness, fear, and, you know, just the unknown. You know, when someone who has sexually assaulted you gets out of prison, I can imagine makes it feel more real. I saw her for ice cream a few days later. Oh, no way. Yeah, we had a really nice time. We made each other laugh.

We supported one another. you know, it just helps to know you're not alone out there. Do you ever mentally dress rehearsed running into him and what you would potentially say? Oh yeah, it's my Charlotte moment from Sex and the City when she runs into Mr. Big. You know, you've been playing that in your head. When I think about seeing him face to face, that's when I get scared. And I don't know what I would say anymore because I am, different now or I see it differently.

I may be able to have a conversation with him, but it's going to come from a different place now. I don't know what that is yet, but it'll probably happen one day, and I'll figure it out before then. Yeah. You know, what do you say or what do you ask someone that has spent almost his entire life lying and manipulating? Yeah.

Gosh. Whoever picked him up and is allowing him to live in their home, I pray keeps their eyes open for the safety of other people, physically and mentally and emotionally. Yeah. There's still going to be people in his life that love him and care for him. I just hope now they're equipped with all the information so that they can hold him accountable for getting help. Because this issue that he has is not something that can just go away in six months. This is going to take, from what I understand, intensive, intensive therapy and work to, to, I don't I don't know if you ever overcome it.

Just, what do you call it? Live a normal life. I always go back to November of 2019 and I think about what that gem would be like. If we hadn't gone through everything, if you hadn't put in the work, we hadn't gone through this process. That Jen may still be here today, but she is not.

Nope. And I just know how much people have been impacted. I see emails of people who are getting out of relationships or trying to fix their toxic work environment, just because they've heard you and are empowered. You've empowered people. And I'm just so proud of you. You have no idea. Oh, thank you, friend. If you'd like to reach out to the betrayal team, email us at BetrayalPod at gmail.com. That's Betrayal P-O-D at gmail.com. Hey, it's Joel and Matt from How To Money. If your New Year's resolution is to

finally get your finances in shape. We've got your back. Prices that are still high and the economy is all over the place. But 2026 is the year for you to get intentional and make real progress. That's right. Yeah. Each week we break down what's happening with your money, the most important issues to focus on and the small moves that make a big difference. Kick off the year with confidence. Listen to how to money on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Dr. Jesse Mills, host of the Mailroom podcast. Each In January, men promised to get stronger, work harder, and fix what's broken? But what if the real work isn't physical at all?

I sat down with psychologist Dr. Steve Poulter to unpack shame, anxiety, and the emotional pain men were never taught how to name. Part of the way through the Valley of Despair is realizing this has happened, and you have to make a choice whether you're going to stay in it or move forward. Our two-part conversation is available now. Listen to the mailroom on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. I'm John Polk.

For years, I was the poster boy of the conversion therapy movement, the ex-gay who married an ex-lesbian, and traveled the world telling my story of how I changed my sexuality from gay to straight. You might have heard my story, but you've never heard the real story. John has never been anything that gay, but he really tried hard not to be. Listen to Atonement, the John Polk story on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get. at your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.