Betrayal - S4: EP 3 — Revisionist History

Episode Date: June 5, 2025

Karoline reexamines her 20 years of marriage – the life she thought she was living, and the one her husband was hiding just under her nose.   If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal Team, email us at [e-mail] and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod  To access our newsletter and additional content and to connect with the Betrayal community, join our Substack at betrayal.substack.com.  You can listen new episodes of Betrayal Season 4 completely ad-free and 1 week early with an iHeart True Crime+ subscription, available exclusively on Apple Podcasts.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. It's April 2020. A woman announces on Facebook that she has COVID and won't be seeking medical attention. I didn't want to be talked out of this plan. Then she disappears. Anyone else think this is strange? I just had to know. How did this happen? Listen to What Happened to Talina Czar on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

you get your podcasts. This week on Dear Chelsea with me, Chelsea Handler. Maren Morris is here. You came out of a marriage, you came out of quote unquote country music, and you had a huge growth spurt from what I can tell. I was expanding and growing at a really fast pace. And yes, you could throw motherhood and the postpartum thing, learning about myself. There were a lot of like identity crises going on, but I realized like I can't look back and slow down for people. Listen to Dear Chelsea on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Are you obsessed with true crime? Then you're going to love true crime tonight. I'm Bonnie

Muvin. I'm Courtney Armstrong. And I'm Stephanie Lidecker. We've all worked together for years, and now we're trying something brand new. We're unpacking all the latest True Crime headlines. We'll be covering all the major trials that are heating up this summer. And yes, we'll also be covering scandals that we're all obsessed with. He pulls out of his backpack syringes.

What? Wow. It's completely bizarre. Listen to True Crime Tonight on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can get True Crime Tonight completely ad free. Camp Shane, one of America's longest-running weight loss camps for kids, promised extraordinary results. But there were some dark truths behind Camp Shane's facade of happy, transformed children. Nothing about that camp was right. It was really actually like a horror movie.

Enter Camp Shame, an eight-part series examining the rise and fall of Camp Shane and the culture that fueled its decades-long success. You can listen to all episodes of Camp Shame one week early and totally ad-free on iHeart True Crime Plus. So don't wait, head to Apple Podcasts and subscribe today. Hey guys, before we get into the episode, a quick note. We're looking for new stories of betrayal for our weekly betrayal series, which returns in August. If you've experienced betrayal and feel ready to share your story, now is a great time to reach out.

Email us at betrayalpod at gmail.com. That's betrayal, P O D at gmail.com. I woke up just kind of feeling this heaviness on my chest. Like it was difficult to take a deep breath in and my eyes were burning. And I can smell the exhaust and I heard this rumbling sound. Where is that coming from? Is that his truck? Is that his truck rumbling? I'm Andrea Gunning and this is Betrayal Season 4, Episode 3.

Revisionist History. April 11, 2022 was Caroline's D-Day, the day that split her life in two. It was the day her husband Joel Kern told her that he had received oral sex in his police vehicle while on duty. It was also the day he was placed on leave pending termination, threatening the job their family had sacrificed so much for. For Caroline, this wasn't just about infidelity. It was about 20 years of lies. A picture-perfect family that never truly was. To fully understand the impact of Joel's betrayal, we need to go back in time to a few key moments

in Caroline and Joel's marriage. There were two realities happening, and we're going to show you the split screen. On one side, what Caroline experienced in the moment, and on the other, what Joel was really doing behind the scenes. Let's start with a life Caroline thought she had with Joel before April 11, 2022. We had, in my opinion, what would be a fairy tale family for a law enforcement family. We made the best of everything. We were traveling together and we had these kids who were just rock stars. We were talking about what it was going to look like

to retire and not have a care in the world for day-to-day life. We had this dream together. We were not perfect, but we damn sure lived a beautiful and blessed life before that day. But after April 11th, I was lost. To say I was numb is an understatement. Like, I have been with this person for more than half my life. He is all I have known. It just was this feeling of, what the hell am I going to do?"

In the days after D-Day, Joel made a series of confessions. Every time he spoke with Caroline, he revealed new details about what he had done. And Caroline began to replay the tape of her own life with Joel. That process brought up old memories. Moments that had been buried deep in her mind now took on new meaning. Let's start back in 2001. Caroline was 25 years old when she and Joel got married. And in episode one, we shared that Joel's childhood friend read this passage at their wedding. Love is patient and kind.

Love does not envy or boast. He invited a childhood friend to do a reading and she was excited to be part of the ceremony. Only six months after the wedding, something happened. It was 2001 and email communication was still new for some people. Caroline's aunt was using email for the first time, so Caroline decided to send her a message. As I logged on, I couldn't get in to my email account. I noticed though that Joel's was already up and so I thought oh she'll get a kick out of this even more because she'll think it's coming

from Joel as well as myself." Caroline sent the email, but then she saw the preview lines to other emails Joel had recently received. And I noticed the friends who did the reading on our wedding, there were several email correspondences with her. And the preview lines made Caroline look twice. And so I clicked and started reading through them. And there was email after email exchange between the pair discussing what it would have been like had they married each other or if they ever had a opportunity

for a romantic interlude. And they got pretty graphic. Just months after their wedding, Joel was having an online sexual conversation with a woman who was part of their ceremony. A woman who had read the words, Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Caroline was stunned.

She left a note next to the computer, letting Joel know that she had seen the emails. Then she fled to her parents' house. Eventually, she returned home to confront him. I pull into the garage, open the door, walk through the house, and he's on his knees waiting for me. And he's crying and crying and over and over just assured me that it was just merely for attention and that, you know, look, I'll do anything.

And then he said, you know, I'll go to counseling to assure you that I'll never let this happen again. And so I said, yeah, because at this point there's no trust. Joel said he was committed to showing Caroline that he was serious and they found a marriage counselor. During counseling, Joel attributed his behavior to job stress and residual grief from his father's death

three years prior. Joel said and did all the right things. He apologized with tears streaming down his face. He promised it would never happen again. And Caroline believed him. After all, it was only a few emails. I convinced myself there was no physical cheating, and so we were able to work through this early on.

When he did this, I thought naively that this was going to make us stronger. After D-Day, Caroline returned to this memory, and she realized this was the first time she chose to see the best in Joel. Once Caroline forgave Joel, their love appeared to grow stronger, just like she'd hoped. And a couple years later, Caroline became pregnant with her first child.

In the final doctor's appointment before she was due to give birth, Joel didn't show up. He said he had an important work lunch. But at that appointment, Caroline's doctor recommended she be induced right away. So she called Joel, begging him to meet her at the hospital. When he got there, he seemed off. Joel had been complaining he was super tired, and it's hard to like confess and admit this now and very few people know this, but when it came time to push, the doctor came in and sat me up and said, you know, here's what we're going to do.

And started explaining things and Joel raised his finger and said, can you guys just all hold on for a minute so that I can use the bathroom?' And everyone just got real quiet. And the doctor said, "'Why don't you go ahead and take care of yourself and we'll stay with your wife?' And the nurse who was in the room,

she asked if I was okay and safe at home. It was humiliating. After our son was born, he said that he was just incredibly tired, that he had gotten no sleep because of work, and said that he was going to go home and get sleep. Meanwhile, I was alone at the hospital with our newborn son. This is one of the most difficult memories for Caroline to revisit. The very first day of her son's life, Joel was MIA. The very first day of her son's life, Joel was MIA. Starting bright and early in the morning, his colleagues and his coworkers were coming in

to congratulate us, and Joel wasn't there. And so I called him and said, all of your coworkers are coming in and people are asking where you're at. Are you gonna come to the hospital, see the baby and I? And so he said, I just really needed a night to catch up on sleep. Caroline assumed Joel really was exhausted.

Maybe he was overwhelmed by the reality of becoming a father. But now she's forced to look back and ask herself. Did he leave that night after I had our son to go be with someone or do something? I don't know. I would hope not. I hope that he went home just to get some sleep, but it's something now that I replayed. Caroline knew what she was getting into when she married a cop. Her eyes were wide open. There would be times when Joel would have to prioritize work, and she would be the one to pull the weight. But when it came to big moments, like the birth of their child, she thought surely the family would

come first. And if anything ever happened to their children, she expected Joel to be by her side. We're going to fast forward to January of 2019, when their daughter Nicole was admitted to the hospital. She was 13. Nicole Hickman, MD, M.D. She had a very severe bacterial infection that grew concern for her being septic, and so she was admitted to a children's hospital for about a week. Nicole Hickman, MD, M.D.

That was one of the first times I ever saw my mom cry. I just was not doing well. I was weak and lost 20 pounds in a week. The timing couldn't have been worse for Joel. He'd just been nominated for the permanent public information officer position. Joel was insistent that he couldn't take any time off work to come stay with her because it would be a bad look. I wanted him around, but I just constantly had this notion

in my head that my dad couldn't sacrifice work, like he had to be there. And so I don't think it was even really a choice in my head that he could be there. They were used to Joel putting work first. He couldn't be there to support Caroline or care for his daughter. It was disappointing, but not surprising. I now know why he really wasn't there. I found very clear evidence later that he had made arrangements to meet someone for sex. It's the early days of COVID, April 2020.

A woman in a small town in Oklahoma makes a strange post to Facebook and then disappears. I'm on day nine of this virus and I am pretty sure it has reached my lungs. I made the decision at the onset that if it got bad enough I would not go to the hospital. Pretty quickly, a ragtag group of women on the internet start their own investigation. It felt like I was living out one of my fantasy dreams of being a detective. But the world they uncover is beyond their wildest imagination.

How did this happen? Listen to What Happened to Talina's R on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This week on Dear Chelsea with me, Chelsea Handler, Maren Morris is here. You came out of a marriage, you came out of quote unquote country music, and you had a huge growth spurt from what I can tell. I realized I was expanding and growing at a really fast pace. And yes, you could throw motherhood and the postpartum thing learning about myself. There were a lot of like identity crises going on. But I realized like, I can't look back and slow down for people.

I want to set my own pace and I will sacrifice my comfort to move at the pace that I have worked really hard to move at. Literally everything that could change in your life happened in like five years for me and you know it was a slow burn. Listen to Dear Chelsea on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Are you obsessed with true crime? Then you're gonna love true crime tonight. I'm Boddie Movin, you might remember me

from the Emmy award winning documentary, Don't F with Cats. I'm Courtney Armstrong, host of the number one podcasts, The Piked and Massacre and The Idaho Massacre. And I'm Stephanie Lidecker. I head up K2 Studios where we make true crime podcasts and documentaries, and now we're even making movies. We've all worked together for years

and now we're trying something brand new. We're unpacking all the latest true crime headlines with our team of experts. We'll be covering all the major trials that are heating up the summer and there's a lot. And yes, we'll also be covering some of the scandals that we're all obsessed with. And you need to join the conversation. True Crime Tonight.

We're talking true crime all the time. He pulls out of his backpack, syringes, and tries to inject her. What? It's bizarre. It's completely bizarre. And they have to investigate it. Listen to True Crime Tonight on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

You can get True Crime Tonight completely ad free with an iHeart True Crime Plus subscription. That's available exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Plus, you'll get ad free access to all the previous seasons of The Piked and Massacre and Murder 101. So open your Apple Podcasts app, search for iHeartDrewCrumB plus and subscribe today. Camp Shane, one of America's longest running weight loss camps for kids, promised extraordinary results.

Campers who began the summer in heavy bodies were often unrecognizable when they left. In a society obsessed with being thin, it seemed like a miracle solution. But behind Camp Shane's facade of happy, transformed children was a dark underworld of sinister secrets. Kids were being pushed to their physical and emotional limits as the family that owned Shane turned a blind eye. Nothing about that camp was right. It was really actually like a horror movie.

In this eight-episode series, we're unpacking and investigating stories of mistreatment and reexamining the culture of fatphobia that enabled a flawed system to continue for so long. You can listen to all episodes of Camp Shame one week early and totally ad-free on iHeart True Crime Plus. So don't wait.

Head to Apple Podcasts and subscribe today. When Caroline first told her mom she met the man she was going to marry, her mom said, Jesus Christ, you better not be a cop. But over the course of their marriage, he became incredibly close with Caroline's family. So close that when her mother passed away, he served as the executor of her estate. Among the assets passed down to Caroline

was a rental property she didn't want to keep. However, Joel convinced her that it would be wise to hold onto it. It would provide passive income. He promised to manage it for her. And he did. He found the renters and handled all the communication with them. But unbeknownst to Caroline, he was using that property for another reason.

We're going to go to April 2020. When Caroline looks back on this day, she sees it as Joel's closest call. A near miss. A day that could have been her D-Day, but it wasn't. Because on this day, Joel was able to stay in control. Here's their son's memory of what happened. I was still in high school. I had to be a sophomore or junior year. I get home from school and usually my mom will greet me or say something when I get home. But I didn't hear anything. And so I go up to the office and I see my mom just in tears and she's beside herself. And she showed me, she said, look at what this person just messaged me on Facebook." The message claimed that Joel was sleeping with a tenant that was living in their rental

property. And he denies it. And I remember confronting him. And I told him, I said, if this is true, like, we're done. I'm never fucking talking to you again." Joel told Caroline somebody was messing with them. Who and why, he didn't know. But here's the thing about Joel. He didn't get anxious or crazy. He was calm.

Caroline insisted on going to the rental property with Joel to get to the bottom of it. Not knowing what to expect, Caroline taped the encounter. Hi. Hello. What's going on? Well, you tell me. The tenant blamed her ex-boyfriend, saying he was looking for revenge after their breakup. She strongly denied there was any relationship between her and Joel.

I don't know if he's just trying to get to me to hurt me. I have no idea. Because the thing is, I was trying to break up with him. We were having all kinds of arguments and then he was trying to be nice to me. Caroline was furious with the situation. How did her family get mixed up in the Renner's drama? And how did the Renner's ex-boyfriend even know who Joel was? So you said something.

You said something to make some psychopath think this about my husband. And here's Joel defending himself in the moment. This psychopath has got me on the road to divorce. My kids want me out of the house. Remember, this was the before times. Caroline and the kids believed Joel had nothing to do with the tenant. He proved his innocence, seemingly, to us. Joel was able to keep his family together and put this mix up behind them.

That didn't change how their son felt when he first heard about the accusation. I mean, I was an asshole to him after this. And I remember we were in the car together driving. And this was a very memorable moment for me because it kind of takes gall to admit when you're wrong or are seemingly wrong. Initially, their son didn't believe Joel. In fact, he came at Joel pretty hard. But after the renter cleared it up, he felt guilty for attacking his father, and he humbled

himself. I was in the passenger seat and it was just us in the car, and I apologized to him for how I treated him. And he accepted my apology. And so thank you for saying that. But, you know, come to find out all of it was true. On the day Caroline and her kids confronted Joel in the RV, he admitted that he had, in fact, been having sex with the renter.

Where were you at when you had sex? At the house. Where in the house? In the basement. So you go down to that dirty filthy basement and then had sex, unprotected sex. The entire scene at the rental property was pure theater. Joel and the tenant played their parts well.

We asked you, did you do this? Did you do this? You said no. Nicole couldn't believe it. Joel admitted that he contacted her and told her she better not say anything to me. So when Caroline went to the rental property to investigate,

Joel had already told the tenant to keep her mouth shut. Joel had sex on numerous occasions with the renter, but stood by while she took all the heat and he played the victim. It's a stark example of the split-screen reality. The family has Joel on tape, first playing the victim and then years later confessing in a cold flat tone. Caroline has lived through this dichotomy many times. After D-Day, Joel admitted to lies that were so disturbing, they weren't just a betrayal of his marriage vows. They

were a betrayal of his oath as an officer. In episode one, we mentioned the George Floyd protests of 2020. Joel told Caroline he was on the front lines as tensions escalated. People were throwing frozen water bottles or rocks, and he would say, oh, look, look at this bruise that popped up, this was from a frozen water bottle. Years later, he confessed to me that all of the bruises that I was massaging or rubbing icy hot on

were not a result of the riots at all. He admitted to me that he had been having an affair during those hours with a co-worker and he was having sex with her at their offices at the police department in various areas of town or in his police car and the marks and bruising were a result of his escapades. He accepted her sympathy and care all the while knowing that he actually got the bruises from having rough sex with a co-worker. We're going to come back to this co-worker, but before we do, there's one more example of Joel using work as a cover of how low Joel was willing to go to avoid the truth. January of 2022, he had a moment where he was called out to an accident in the middle of the night,

and he said it was a fatal accident and that he would be out for a little bit. This was uncommon. Part of Joel's job duties entailed supervising the major accident unit. This required him to go out to the scene of fatal accidents and oversee the investigation. He was called at all hours, day or night. I was awake because he needed to get up to get ready to go out. He said goodbye to me, give me a kiss goodbye, and I said, you know, be safe,

I'll see you when you get home. Like many families, they shared an app called Life360, which helped them keep track of each other's locations. Well, I couldn't go back to bed, I couldn't fall asleep. And so I'm sitting there kind of scrolling through social media. And then I see from one of the news sites that the accident that he was called out to

had actually been cleaned up an hour, hour and a half before that it was already moved and done. So I looked at our Life360 and I saw him in just kind of this random location, not too far from our home. I texted him and I said, hey, where are you at? He didn't text back. And so I thought that's strange because even if he was at some type of accident or call for service, almost always within minutes he would text back or, you know, do an auto reply from his watch or something and say, can't talk right now. But I didn't get anything.

So then I got a little concerned and I called him. He put me to voicemail immediately. And so I waited for a little bit and then I texted him again and I said, hey, I'm a little worried about you. And then he texted me back and said, I'm at a second accident scene. I'm headed to the hospital right now to help. I'll be home in a little bit. And so as he's saying this, I'm literally watching the phone where I can see him speeding to our house. He's not at another accident.

He's not at the hospital. He's coming from somewhere. And so when he got home, I said, are you lying to me? And he's like, what are you talking about? His location on the app didn't match what he told her. He was saying one thing and she was seeing another. Joel blamed the technology. That must be a cell phone tower pinging wrong. I was at the hospital. Oh my God. Do you think I want to be out in the middle of the night any longer than I have to be? And so he just kept saying this to me to the point where I started feeling terrible.

I felt guilty for questioning him. It's hard to look back on those moments because when you love someone and believe in their love for you, you accept answers. You believe. After we learned about his true colors and what he was really doing, I asked him about that night and he said, yeah, I had met someone on the internet and we arranged to meet at an exit close to the Air Force Academy and that's where I was at and you caught me. The data didn't lie.

Joel did. This punctured Caroline's perception of her husband. She used to see him as a hero to their community. Now she sees him as nothing but a liar. As for that coworker Joel confessed to having sex with, the one he actually got the bruises from, Caroline found her number and texted her. And to of COVID, April 2020. A woman in a small town in Oklahoma makes a strange post to Facebook and then disappears.

I'm on day nine of this virus and I am pretty sure it has reached my lungs. I made the decision at the onset that if it got bad enough, I would not go to the hospital. Pretty quickly, a ragtag group of women on the internet start their own investigation. It felt like I was living out one of my fantasy

dreams of being a detective. But the world they uncover is beyond their wildest imagination. How did this happen? Listen to What Happened to Talina's R on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This week on Dear Chelsea with me, Chelsea Handler, Maren Morris is here. You came out of a marriage, you came out of quote unquote country music, and you had a huge growth spurt from what I can tell.

I realized I was expanding and growing at a really fast pace. And yes, you could throw motherhood and the postpartum thing, learning about myself. There were a lot of like identity crises going on, but I realized like I can't look back and slow down for people. I want to set my own pace and I will sacrifice my comfort to move at the pace

that I have worked really hard to move at. Literally everything that could change in your life happened in like five years for me. And, you know, it was a slow burn. Listen to Dear Chelsea on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Are you obsessed with true crime? Then you're going to love true crime tonight.

I'm Bodie Movin. You might remember me from the Emmy award winning documentary, Don't F with Cats. I'm Courtney Armstrong, host of the number one podcasts, the Piked and Massacre and the Idaho Massacre. And I'm Stephanie Lidecker. I head up K2 studios where we make true crime podcasts and documentaries and now we're even making movies. We've all worked together for years and now we're trying something brand new.

We're unpacking all the latest true crime headlines with our team of experts. We'll be covering all the major trials that are heating up the summer, and there's a lot. And yes, we'll also be covering some of the scandals that we're all obsessed with. And you need to join the conversation. True crime tonight. We're talking true crime all the time. He pulls out of his backpack, syringes, and tries to inject her. What?

It's bizarre. It's completely bizarre and they have to investigate it. Listen to True Crime Tonight on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can get True Crime Tonight completely ad free with an iHeart True Crime Plus subscription. That's available exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Plus, you'll get ad free access to all the previous seasons of The Piked In Massacre and Murder 101.

So open your Apple Podcasts app, search for iHeart True Crime Plus and subscribe today. Camp Shane, one of America's longest runningrunning weight loss camps for kids, promised extraordinary results. Campers who began the summer in heavy bodies were often unrecognizable when they left. In a society obsessed with being thin, it seemed like a miracle solution. But behind Camp Shane's facade of happy, transformed children was a dark underworld of sinister secrets. Kids were being pushed to their physical and emotional limits as the family that owned Shane turned a

blind eye. Nothing about that camp was right. It was really actually like a horror movie. In this eight-episode series we're unpacking and investigating stories of mistreatment and re-examining the culture of fat phobia that enabled a flawed system to continue for so long. You can listen to all episodes of Camp Shame one week early and totally ad-free on iHeart True Crime Plus. So don't wait, head to Apple Podcasts and subscribe today.

Caroline was able to make contact with the woman that Joel had an affair with at CSPD via text. And she shared those texts with us. And so I wrote, Hi, this is Caroline Kern, the wife of whose husband you've been fucking. I look forward to discussing your affair that you started and conducted during work hours with internal affairs investigators. Caroline wanted the CSPD to know that this affair was going on during work hours on the taxpayer's dime.

His former mistress responded. No, sorry. I ended what he started because he said he was leaving you and he was lying to everyone about himself. That was almost two years ago now. I don't know what has happened or why he lost his job, but I'm not involved,

nor have I talked to him since 2020-ish. You should look at getting HIV and HPV tested after his being involved and all that. I'm really sorry for whatever's happened, but he is a total lying piece of shit. And you deserve better. Run." The woman may have been really sorry, but when my producer eventually contacted her,

she didn't seem to have much sympathy for Caroline. What she did say, though, was illuminating. We recorded our conversation with the woman, and we've distorted her voice to protect her privacy. Wow. Yeah. She won't let this go, will she? She told us what she thought she knew about Caroline.

Everybody seems to know Caroline and know what she's like. Everybody says that she's kind of a problem. And I'm not sure what that means. I'm wondering how much of a background you've done on her because from what I understand it wasn't, and this is not coming from him, from what I understand is that she was very controlling and not nice and something with some other family members.

She wouldn't let him talk to his mom or something like that. This description went against everything we've heard about Caroline from her friends and family. And it helped us put together another piece of the puzzle. How Joel kept his double life a secret. You see, Colorado Springs isn't that big. One way to keep anyone from telling Caroline the truth was to paint her as the problem. And it seems like Joel did exactly that.

Did you ever meet his wife? No. This co-worker-turned-mistress wasn't the only one who heard similar things about Caroline at the department. It seemed that everyone at CSPD knew Joel's wife was kind of a problem. Here's a former CSPD officer recalling Dan. Other officers I think that were much closer to him socially would always make some comments about like maybe he had to get permission to just do anything with anyone else from her before he could do that. And you know, she kind of wore the pants in the house.

That seemed to me to be somewhat common knowledge in the house. That seemed to me to be somewhat common knowledge in the department. Joel's coworker was under the impression that he was leaving Caroline because that's what he told her. He lied to Caroline and he lied to his mistress. And eventually she figured it out. Previously, I told you about Joel having a mental health episode.

He and Caroline were attending their son's high school sporting event. It should have been a fun time out, but Joel was distracted. He became extremely withdrawn and very agitated. And so this is about 2019. Now, fast forward after our life blew up, he actually admitted to me why he was despondent and behaving the way he was. It was because he had broken up with him. It wasn't anything to do with our son and driving and the concern or anything like that.

The woman who texted Caroline saying, I ended what he started, had ended their relationship. Within a year of the affair, he planned an ended their relationship. Within a year of the affair, he planned an elaborate vow renewal. He stood before family and friends and professed his love for his wife. First time around we did church vows, this time around we were gonna speak from the heart. And so we're before our friends and family

out in this beautiful setting on the beach. And when he gets ready to start his vows, he gets down on one knee. And he says, you know, over 20 years ago, I impulsively asked you to marry me. And this time I want to do it right. Would you marry me all over again? I mean, I felt like life was perfect. On the day of his revelations, what was once a cherished, loving memory was destroyed. Here's their son. I was there firsthand, and I witnessed the whole vow renewal ceremony. I was there, and I was there.

I was there. I was there. I was there. I was there. I was there. I was there. I was there. I was there. I was destroyed. Here's their son. I was there firsthand and I witnessed the whole vow renewal ceremony. But I don't think you can look at his actions now and say there could be any truth in it.

Maybe he thought there was truth, but in his actions, absolutely not. It's just, you feel a betrayal and just kind of a phoniness to it. And so to me, there's no point in even thinking back on it because it was rooted in a lie." After April 11th, as Caroline was going through Joel's emails, she found confirmation he had been sexting with someone just eight days after the vow renewal. It was with a person he'd met online. The person was asking for nudes. Instead, Joel sent them a selfie. In it, he's staring at the camera, lying back on the family couch. Caroline was so disturbed at the thought of their home being in Joel's pictures

that she sold all the furniture in their living room. In the months before Joel was placed on leave, he could see the writing on the wall. He knew for months that he was being investigated at work. But he kept that to himself. While Caroline was reflecting on her dual realities, she told us about an experience that happened just months before D-Day. We weren't sure what to make of it, but it affected her so deeply, we wanted you to hear what happened. In November of 2021, our daughter had left for school for something very early in the morning.

Joel had told me that he too was going to go into work early that day and that he'd see me later that night. I'm still in bed. He comes and kisses me goodbye and tells me to have a great day. And I was asleep still. And when I woke up, I woke up just kind of feeling this heaviness on my chest. It was hard to breathe. She was disoriented.

Their daughter was already at school. Caroline was alone in the house. Like it was difficult to take a deep breath in and my eyes were burning. And you heard this rumbling sound. Where is that coming from? Is that his truck? Is that his truck rumbling?

Caroline's bedroom is on the first floor, just down the hallway from the garage. And so I got up and the auxiliary door to our garage was just a little open. And when I opened it, it was like a rush of fire almost hit my face. Just kind of this warmth just hit me. The truck had been left running in our garage. I was panicked and didn't know what to do.

And so I hit the garage open and I went to the driveway and I'm kind of walking around trying to get my sense about me and I'm trying to take a big deep breath in. And I'm finally able to gather my bearings and I go over to open his truck to shut the engine off and I can't open it. It's locked. So she ran back into the house to get the spare key. We have a key ring holder where we put all our keys. His police car was gone, our daughters were gone,

but his truck keys were hanging there. And so I got the truck keys down, I was able to open the truck, I opened the truck and I turned off the engine and I'm sitting there for a second and I'm like, what the heck just happened? She had no idea how long the exhaust from Joel's truck had been seeping into the house.

Caroline called Joel, flustered and upset. I said, you left the truck running with the garage door closed and the door between the garage and the house just a little open. And he said, I did. And I said, yeah, you did. And he was like, well, there's no way I did that. And I said, how would that happen then?

Then he started saying that his truck keys must have been in his pocket and he must have accidentally hit the auto start when he was pulling away in his cop car in the morning. I said there's no way you could have done that both sets of truck keys are hanging on the key ring and so we went back and forth and he had me convinced that it had to be a manufacturer defect or something. Something happened. If it was a defect it was one that could have lethal consequences. They never figured out how the car started. Caroline now wonders if she had really been safe in her home. That brings us to Sunday, April 10, 2022.

It was the day before their lives would change forever. Little did Caroline know the two worlds she didn't realize she was living were about to converge. During this time, one constant for Caroline and the kids had been their faith. Here's Nicole. I have my own little path, I suppose, with my religion. And so, I was going to mass pretty frequently before that. This is something that the kids and I did together. He never went. He had always been a proclaimed atheist and as our daughter and I are getting ready he emerges and says he's going with us. Again this was Sunday April 10th when

Joel suddenly showed interest in going to church that day, Nicole was excited. And our daughter said, Daddy, are you serious? You're really going to go to church with us? And he said, Yes, I want to go with you guys. I want to be with you guys. And I think that maybe it's time I give church a chance. I thought like, maybe this is the beginning of something new or something. I was really happy that he wanted to have family time.

The family thought Joel may have been reconsidering his relationship with religion. But in reality, his secrets were teetering on the edge of exposure. When Nicole reflects on that day now, she sees Joel's desire to go to church in a completely different light. Looking back on it, maybe it was his last resort to call upon the big man, I suppose. Call it a Hail Mary, or maybe Joel wanted to remind the family about the virtue of forgiveness. But at the time, it felt like a lovely family Sunday. We went to breakfast together after church, and I still have silly pictures we took at the coffee shop we were at. We even went to Costco together. We just had this really good day

together. And I just remember thinking to myself how thankful I was that Joel was wanting to be healthy and that maybe some of these changes that felt scary were about ready to be just really positive things for him. It was the last good day they'd ever have as a family. Joel's deception didn't just destroy his career, his marriage or his family. They destroyed Caroline's memory of her entire adult life. Even the best memories, like the birth of her first child

are tainted forever. No memory is sacred. You know, at random, we'll see a picture and it's like, oh gosh, there we were at Disney World together. And then my brain goes to, God, that was such a great trip. But what were you doing when we weren't looking? On the next episode of Betrayal, we'll take you inside CSPD Internal Affairs on the day Joel's double life finally caught up with him.

This slip-up proves that you're unable to keep track of all your lies, and quite frankly, I question how many other women are out there that may bring forward allegations in the future. The department finally realizes what they've got in Lieutenant Joel Kern. But how do you catch a master manipulator in a lie? Thank you for listening to Betrayal Season 4. If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal team, email us at betrayalpod at gmail.com. That's betrayal, P-O-D, at gmail.com. That's BetrayalPOD at gmail.com. Also please be sure to follow us on Instagram at BetrayalPod and me, Andrea H. Gunning, for all Betrayal content, news, and updates.

One way to support this series is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. Please rate and review Betrayal. Five star reviews help us know you appreciate what we do. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Faison. Betrayal is hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning. Written and produced by Carrie Hartman. Also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our associate producers are Kaitlyn Golden and Kristen Malkuri. Our iHeart team is Allie Perry and Jessica Kreincheck.

Story editing by Monique Laborde. Audio editing and mixing by Matt Dalvecchio. Editing by Tanner Robbins. Special thanks to voice actors Kaitlyn Golden and Rocky Al. And special thanks to Caroline and her family. Betrayal's theme is composed by Oliver Baines. Music library provided by My Music. And for more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's April 2020. A woman announces on Facebook that she has COVID

and won't be seeking medical attention. I didn't want to be talked out of this plan. Then she disappears. Uh, anyone else think this is strange? I just had to know. How did this happen? Listen to What Happened to Talina Czar on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. This week on Dear Chelsea with me, Chelsea Handler. Maren Morris is here. You came out of a marriage, you came out of quote unquote country music, and you had a huge growth spurt from what I can tell. I was expanding and growing at a really fast pace. And yes, you could throw motherhood

and the postpartum thing learning about myself. There were a lot of like identity crises going on. But I realized like, I can't look back and slow down for people. Listen to Dear Chelsea on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Are you obsessed with true crime? Then you're gonna love true crime tonight. I'm Bonnie Movin. I'm Courtney Armstrong.

And I'm Stephanie Lidecker. We've all worked together for years, and now we're trying something brand new. We're unpacking all the latest true crime headlines. We'll be covering all the major trials that are heating up this summer. And yes, we'll also be covering scandals that we're all obsessed with.

He pulls out of his backpack syringes. What? It's completely bizarre. Listen to True Crime Tonight on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can get True Crime Tonight completely ad-free. That's with an iHeart True Crime Plus subscription available exclusively on Apple podcasts. So open your Apple podcast app, search for iHeart True Crime Plus and subscribe today.

Camp Shane, one of America's longest running weight loss camps for kids, promised extraordinary results. But there were some dark truths behind Camp Shane's facade of happy, transformed children. Nothing about that camp was right. It was really actually like a horror movie. Enter Camp Shame, an eight part series examining the rise and fall of Camp Shane and the culture that fueled its decades long success. You can listen to all episodes of Camp Shame

one week early and totally ad-free on iHeart True Crime Plus. So don't wait, head to Apple Podcasts and subscribe today. This is an iHeart Podcast.