Betrayal - Sydney | Betrayal Weekly

Episode Date: June 11, 2026

After suffering a devastating loss, Sydney almost made peace with her grief. Then she received an email.  If you would like to share your story, you can reach out to the ...Betrayal team by emailing us at betrayalpod@gmail.com. You can also find us on Instagram at @betrayalpod and @glasspodcasts.  To access our newsletter and additional content and to connect with the Betrayal community, join our Substack at betrayal.substack.com.     If you are currently in crisis, please reach out to organizations that offer immediate support. We are including a few US-based resources here:    988 Lifeline. If you or someone you know is in crisis or need to talk to someone immediately, please call or text 988 – the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline available 24/7/365.   National Domestic Violence Hotline. They offer 24/7 phone and chat support to help you create a personalized safety plan and connect you with local support.   For resources on sexual violence, visit rainn.org/betrayal. You can also get free, confidential, 24/7 support through RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline. Text HOPE to 64673 or call 1-800-656-HOPE.   Every state has a domestic violence coalition. If you’re looking for help in the US, search the web for your state’s domestic violence coalition. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is an I-Heart podcast, guaranteed human. Joy is essential and it's also elusive. But now, there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence. Joy 101. It's a new podcast hosted by me, Hoda Kotby. If you're craving inspiration, support, and useful tools to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting, and moving on-air chats. Listen to Joy 101 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:00:33 If you're seeking to try to understand the forensic science behind these cases that we hear about in the news, BodyBags is where you need to turn. There's no fluff. We do a deep dive into the forensics. Listen to BodyBags with Joseph Scott Morgan on America's number one podcast network, IHart. Open your free IHart app. and search body bags with Joseph Scott Morgan and start listening. Hi listeners, I'm Anna Sinfield, host of The Girlfriends Trust Me Babe.
Starting point is 00:01:10 I'm excited to share the Girlfriends Trust Me Babe story with you. And I want to let you know that you can get access to all episodes of season one, two, three, and four of The Girlfriends, and every single episode of The Girlfriends Trust Me Babe, 100% ad-free with an I-heart True Crime Plus subscription. Available exclusively on Apple Podcast. Plus, you'll get access to all episodes of The Girlfriends Trust Me, Babe, one week ahead of everyone else. Available only to IHeart True Crime Plus subscribers.
Starting point is 00:01:41 So don't wait, head to Apple Podcasts, search for IHeart True Crime Plus, and subscribe today. Hi, listeners, I'm Michelle, host of the Kingdom of Fraud podcast. It's the story of a devout polygamist from Utah, a fearsome Armenian businessman in L.A. and their $1 billion fraud conspiracy. I'm excited to share the story with you and want to let you know that you can get access to all episodes of Kingdom of Fraud 100% ad-free with an I-heart True Crime Plus subscription
Starting point is 00:02:19 available exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Plus, you'll get access to all episodes of Kingdom of Fraud one week ahead of everyone else, available only to Iheart True Crime Plus subscribers. So don't wait. Head to Apple Podcasts, search for IHart True Crime Plus, and subscribe today. How in the world could someone stoop that low and go to that extreme? Were you too cowardly just tell me the truth?
Starting point is 00:03:04 I'm Andrea Gunning and this is betrayal. a show about the people we trust the most and the deceptions that change everything. A little while ago, a woman wrote into our show to share a story of betrayal. We're going to call her Katie. She attached a voice memo to her email. Here's that voice memo. This is the story of a woman who couldn't give up on love. My mom has not been the lucky.
Starting point is 00:03:51 in love. This is a story about my mom. After hearing this, we got on the phone with Katie and her mom, who were going to call Sydney. This is her story. Sydney grew up in the Midwest with her parents and brothers. From a young age, her dad introduced the kids to a life of adventure. He was a private pilot, and I would go out to the airport with him, and we would fly all over. Sydney, her brothers and her mom would pack into her dad's tiny airplane and hold on tight as it lifted off into the sky. Sydney loved flying. It felt like you were far above everything. You were in the sky with all the clouds and my father was in complete control and so the trust I had was just beyond belief. I love looking down. The earth and all the glory that's down there and you're just, you're just,
Starting point is 00:04:57 just amazed. They were a work-hard, play-hard kind of family. After school and on weekends, Sydney worked at her family's restaurant. At 50 cents an hour. They served hamburgers and fries. The restaurant was painted white with bar stools lined up in a neat row. You had an awning where people pulled up in their cars, and then some would go out and take their order. They would fix it.
Starting point is 00:05:24 And then you'd go out and put a tray on their car. car. It was a picturesque childhood. But after graduating high school, Sydney's young adult life was marked by a lot of hardship. She married young and got pregnant with her first son. But her entrance into motherhood was immensely challenging. Her son was born with a terminal illness. I lost my son when he was two. And then I had gotten pregnant again. and lost is stillborn. Sydney dealt with waves of overlapping grief after losing her children. It was an incredibly difficult time.
Starting point is 00:06:12 In the years that followed, her marriage ended as well. When she was ready, Sydney had other relationships. She remarried and gave birth to her daughter, Katie. But that marriage also ended in divorce. After dealing with all shades of heartbreak, Sydney decided to stay single. She thought maybe a true, deep romance just wasn't in the cards for her. And besides, her life had plenty of meaning and beauty without romantic love.
Starting point is 00:06:43 I was very busy because I was traveling a lot. I had great friends. We would always do things together. Friendship to me is extremely important and I value it very highly. She also spent as much time as she could with her daughter, Katie. I have the most amazing daughter. We're very, very close. Katie's an adult now with a daughter of her own.
Starting point is 00:07:11 My daughter and my granddaughter are my whole life. I have the most amazing granddaughter. She's absolutely adorable and just as sweet as can be. When Sydney retired, she began traveling more often to visit her daughter and grandda. daughter. One day, she was boarding a flight to visit them. She found her seat and got comfortable. I tend to read when I'm on a flight, and I started to take out a book. That's when the man sitting next to her struck up a conversation. He asked her what she was reading. He started talking to me, and I was immediately intrigued by his mannerism and his kindness. His name was
Starting point is 00:07:57 Dan. As the flight went on, the two kept chatting. He spoke so sweetly, and our conversation was lighthearted and humorous. Before long, Sidney forgot about her book altogether. We talked about just a little bit of everything, and he just seemed so kind and so forthcoming. And as we got closer to landing, he asked if I would be able to. mind if I gave him my phone number because he would like to stay in touch with me. Sydney gave him her number. She wasn't sure if she'd ever hear from him again. Maybe this was just a one-time serendipitous connection. But then... He contacted me as soon as I got back home and we talked several times on the phone. We would have these hour, two hour long conversations
Starting point is 00:08:59 that just flowed so easily. Dan shared that he was also divorced. He said that his wife had left him 18 months prior. Then it got into more serious discussions about he had lost a grandchild and was going through that grieving process. I shared that I also had some tragedy in my life and that years ago I had lost a child myself. The death of her children was not something she told many people about,
Starting point is 00:09:34 but she felt safe opening up to Dan. I shared it because I wanted him to know that I understood exactly how he felt. I wasn't just saying that I understood. It was coming from the deepest part of my soul and my heart that I do understand. And you can trust me with that. Dan held everything she shared with care. The parallels in their grief brought them closer together. All of a sudden, we felt this bond.
Starting point is 00:10:07 We're sharing things that are the utmost deepest issues in our lives. And we're becoming very close within a very short period of time. When they met on the plane, Sydney was preparing to move closer to her daughter and granddaughter. It turned out, Dan lived in the area too. So once Sydney got settled into her new. place, Dan called. He wanted to come see her. He came to the condo that I was renting, and I remember opening the door and the look on his face was like, oh, wow, I can't believe I'm actually standing in front of him. We're just not talking on the phone anymore. This is real.
Starting point is 00:10:57 She welcomed him in. The chemistry they had on the plane came rushing back. We just talked and talked and talked, and then we went out to grab something to eat, and then he came back the next morning, and the same thing happened. The next two days were like an extended first date. He'd come over in the morning, and we would spend the entire day together. We did a lot of outings together and dinners together and walking in the park, and then he would leave that evening. And after their marathon date wrapped up, they immediately started planning the next one.
Starting point is 00:11:36 We start seeing each other more and more and more. They were eager to learn everything they could about each other. Soon, they knew the details, big and small, of each other's lives. He was an engineer. He was outgoing. He loved a laugh. He joked a lot. He was very gentle, very engaged.
Starting point is 00:11:59 would listen, I mean intently, to everything I said and took it to heart and made me feel very, very wanted. Dan took Sydney completely by surprise. She had given up on finding a connection like this. I have to say that was a new feeling for me. It felt like life was giving her one more shot at love, one. one more shot at being truly happy with someone. But there were still challenges in their relationship.
Starting point is 00:12:38 Dan was really struggling with the grief of losing his grandchild and decided to see a counselor for support. He was telling the counselor the hard time he was having, getting past this event. And then he mentioned, however, I met someone and I'm really excited and I'd like to see where this goes. And the counselor said, well, wait a minute, you're in the middle of a grieving process.
Starting point is 00:13:06 I don't think this is the best time for you to get involved with a new relationship. I believe you need to work through the steps of grieving before you decide to move on. So let's do that first and just put it on pause. It struck Sidney as an overstep from the counselor, but she knew that Dan was deeply affected by his grandchild's death. Maybe it was weighing on him more than she knew. So, she was understanding. I told him the most important thing is for you to feel better and to get through this very difficult time in your life. So I will step aside. So Dan and Sydney decided to take a break. It was difficult. I missed him. We didn't talk at all.
Starting point is 00:14:00 Sydney tried going on a first date with someone new, but it wasn't the same as it was with Dan. After a few weeks, Dan called her out of the blue. And he said, I desperately need to talk to you. And I said, are you sure about that? I thought we weren't supposed to see each other. And he said, it's about that. I can't do it. I miss you too much.
Starting point is 00:14:24 I don't care what the counselor says. I'm ready. I want to start seeing you again. The two picked up right where they left off. It was totally blissful. We just had the best time. It was just laughter and fun, and we got along so beautifully, and never, ever once had a disagreement or an argument or anything.
Starting point is 00:14:49 It was just wonderful. The weeks turned to months. Their relationship became deeper, more stable, and more committed. We were sitting at a restaurant, over dinner. And he just looked at me and said, I want to be together forever. I just believe that we were meant to be together.
Starting point is 00:15:15 I had fallen very hard for him. And I remember being extremely happy. Sydney introduced Dan to her daughter, Katie. My daughter really liked him as well. And I remember I had to go in. and it's the hospital for some surgery. And he came to the hospital and he sat with my daughter and they spent the time together waiting for me in the waiting room.
Starting point is 00:15:41 They just really hit it off and she really liked him. As Sydney recovered from surgery, Dan was facing some health challenges of his own. He had high cholesterol and saw a cardiologist regularly. One day, he opened up to Sydney about his doctor's concerns. The doctor had found an irregular beat in a state. heart, but they didn't think it was anything drastic. And they said that he had had a little bit more plaque around his heart, but they would raise his medication, and he should be fine.
Starting point is 00:16:16 Dan didn't seem worried, so Sidney tried not to worry too much either. A week later, Dan made plans to visit his brothers. They were going to get together to discuss his mother's will before she passed away, so they wouldn't have to worry about anything. Dan would drive a few hours away to meet up with them and stay for the weekend. Before he headed out, he met Sydney for a lunch date. I wished him a great trip and he said, I will call you every day, let you know how everything goes. A few hours later, Sydney's phone rang. It was Dan. He had stopped for gas and he already missed me. And then he called me when he got down there. It was sweet to see how much Dan missed her after only a few hours. Sydney went about her day as
Starting point is 00:17:09 usual. At this point, Sydney and Dan had been talking every day for five months. He always texted or called her to say good night. But on this night, she didn't hear from him. I tried texting, he didn't answer. I tried calling. He didn't answer. Sydney went to sleep feeling anxious. When she woke up the next morning, Dan still hadn't reached out. She checked her phone all morning and afternoon, but still, nothing. The last time I talked to him, he said he had arrived safely. And I thought, this is so strange. Why would he not contact me?
Starting point is 00:17:54 And then I started worrying, what happened? Something must have happened. Did he have an automobile accident? and you start making up stories. The whole weekend passed without any word from Dan. She started to wonder, was this his way of breaking up with her? I've heard of people ending relationships kind of like that,
Starting point is 00:18:18 all of a sudden, but not him. I trusted him way too much. The silence went on for a week and a half. She didn't have any way of contacting his family. She just hoped that if something had happened to Dan, they would find a way to reach her. I was going out of my mind, not knowing what happened. One afternoon, Sidney was getting ready to spend time with her daughter when she heard her phone buzz. Her heart leapt, hoping it might be Dan.
Starting point is 00:18:56 Instead, it was a text from a number she didn't recognize. She started reading. It was Dan's brother. She'd never met him before, but he was a man. writing with bad news. He said that he was so sorry to have to tell me this, but Dan had a heart attack and he passed away. Pride is like love. You feel it in your heart. IR. Radio, Canada's number one streaming app for radio and podcasts, including IHart Pride Canada, your favorite hits and must-have party bangers, plus personalized and curated playlists like back in the day.
Starting point is 00:19:55 Day pride. Come together, celebrate love. Take pride with you. Anytime, anywhere. Just ask your smart speaker to play IHart Pride Canada. Stream us on your phone or listen now at iHeartRadio.ca. Joy is essential and it's also elusive. You can't order it, you can't borrow it or simply hope it into life.
Starting point is 00:20:16 But now, there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence. Joy 101. It's a new podcast hosted by. me, Hoda Kotbe. Together, guys, we'll have meaningful conversations with the world's most fascinating people. Entertainment legends, sports icons, wellness experts, and everyday people will share how they find, allow, and experience joy. And I'll offer some of my own tips and takes on seeking a more balanced and harmonious life. If you're craving inspiration, support, and useful tools to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting, and moving on-air chats. Joy
Starting point is 00:20:54 after a breakup, joy as an empty nester, joy after a loss, joy as a caretaker. This new podcast will speak to you. Listen to Joy 101 on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're seeking to try to understand the forensic science behind these cases that we hear about in the news, body bags is where you need to turn. There's no fluff. We do a deep dive into The Forensics. Listen to Bodybags with Joseph Scott Morgan on America's number one podcast network. Iheart. Open your free IHeart app and search BodyBags with Joseph Scott Morgan and start listening.
Starting point is 00:21:39 Happy Pride from the Outspoken Podcast Network. All month long and all year round, we're celebrating being loud, proud, and always original. It's me, Brandon Kyle Goodman, host of the podcast, Tell Me Something Messy. Check out my show for unfiltered takes on dating, relationships, and adulting. The more you get comfortable with someone, the more their real self comes out, they're going to be gross. What's the grossest thing about a man? Burping. Shut it down. Listen to High Key for the best pop culture takes, and there are no girls on the internet for all your tech news.
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Starting point is 00:22:42 Sidney's boyfriend Dan was on a trip with his brothers when he suddenly stopped texting and calling her back. Sidney didn't hear from him for days and was beginning to panic. Then she got a text from his brother. saying that he was so sorry to have to tell me this, but Dan had a heart attack. And he passed away. Dan's brother explained that it happened suddenly one night on their trip when Dan was heading to bed.
Starting point is 00:23:16 He said good night to his brothers and went upstairs. And that was the last that he heard until he heard a big crash upstairs. where he fell. And when he ran upstairs, he called 911, tried to revive his brother, and couldn't revive him. And by the time he got to the hospital,
Starting point is 00:23:39 he passed on the way. He said that in the first few days following Dan's death, he hadn't been able to find Dan's phone. Without it, he didn't have Sidney's number. So he had no way to contact her. He felt horrible that it had taken so long. to reach her. His brother said, I know how hard this has to be on you. Between my mother and his
Starting point is 00:24:09 kids, everybody is just devastated. I'm sorry that we couldn't reach out to you as soon as it happened, but like I said, we couldn't find his phone. That's where his message ended. Sidney broke down. I was a mess. I was crying. I was out of my mind. Then her daughter, Katie, showed up at her house. They were supposed to spend the afternoon together. She walked in and I just screamed.
Starting point is 00:24:45 I told her what happened and she dropped everything and just came to me and tried to comfort me the best she could. but she was upset too because she really liked him. A heart attack. Sydney remembered Dan's cardiologist's concerns, but she had no idea things were this serious. I was just devastated, absolutely devastated. The next few days were dark, especially when Sydney found out the family had already held a ceremony
Starting point is 00:25:22 and buried Dan in the family plot. Kitty also reached out to Dan's brother, and he did his best to be there for her and Sydney as he dealt with his own grief. His brother responded to my daughter, saying, I'm so sorry this has happened, and I know how much he loved your mother, and he told me he knew how much he loved me, and he spoke about me all the time. Hearing Dan's brother talk about him in past tense made the reality sink in. Dan wasn't coming back.
Starting point is 00:25:54 I didn't know what to do. I was just, I was frantic. When Dan had been by her side, the world felt bright and full of possibility. Now, everything felt heavy. She missed Dan's laugh, their long conversations, their shared hikes. Most of all, she just missed him. It was horrible. I'm not a person that gets depressed.
Starting point is 00:26:21 I've never been depressed in my life. But I felt like I was going to get to that point. She turned over the details again and again. Things didn't add up in my brain. I kept thinking, how could this have happened? It doesn't make sense. But as time went on, she had to find acceptance. He's gone.
Starting point is 00:26:47 It is what it is. I can't change it. For the first month after Dan's death, it was hard for Sydney to get out of bed. One day, one of Sydney's close friends, Peter, reached out to her. His whole family was going on a tropical vacation, and he wanted her to come with them.
Starting point is 00:27:05 He said, you need to get out of here, and maybe getting away would help men my broken heart a little bit. Sydney decided to go. On the trip, while the rest of the group went on excursions, Sydney stayed behind and laid by the pool by herself. I remember screaming up in the sky going, God, why did you do this? Please, I have to get past this and what do I do? It felt good to get some emotion out.
Starting point is 00:27:38 That week gave Sydney the space to begin to process Dan's death. Sydney wanted to try and visit Dan's grave. Early on, she asked his brother about it, but he gave her a complicated, answer. He gave me this long explanation of it was in some family grave, out in the forest, and there was a private gate to go through. It just sounded so strange. Talking to Dan's family was hard. It often left her with more questions than answers. Eventually, she stopped reaching out. I decided that I would try and go on with my life.
Starting point is 00:28:21 even though it was very hard. Sydney thought that with time, life without Dan would get easier. But a whole year went by. And as the seasons passed, Sydney was still struggling to move on. It was hard to find any closure with how suddenly Dan had died.
Starting point is 00:28:40 She had never gotten to say goodbye. There was so much left unsaid. Her friend Peter told her about a strategy that helped him get through hard times in his own life. When things really get hard, are you facing something really difficult? Throw it out to the universe. And the universe will somehow take care of you. And I always thought, yeah, right, whatever.
Starting point is 00:29:10 Sydney was skeptical, but Peter wasn't kidding. He suggested she write everything she wished she could say to Dan in a letter to him. It might help her process her feelings. feelings and maybe get some small sense of closure. I was having such a hard time getting past everything. So I thought, you know what, what would it hurt? What would it hurt to do this? And I thought, but how do I do it?
Starting point is 00:29:37 And then I realized I still had his email address. So I thought, okay, I'm going to try this. So she grabbed her laptop and got set up at her kitchen counter. And then she began to write. Dan, I really still love you and I miss you. I know you are gone, but I just want you to know I love you. I will always love you. I will never forget you.
Starting point is 00:30:11 My heart is broken. It will always be broken. Wherever you are in the universe, I hope you are well taken care of. I just hope that your soul is happy and just know that your heart will be with mine forever. After I composed, it took me a minute to hit send. And I thought, is this really ridiculous or what? And I thought, no, I'm going to try it. And when I hit send, I just felt better.
Starting point is 00:30:48 It was amazing. It felt like a huge brick was lifted from my body. Like, wow, this really worked. She felt a sense of lightness, a closure she had been chasing for almost a year and a half. A few days later, Sydney was getting ready to go over to Katie's house. And I thought, oh, I'm going to check my emails before I go. And all of a sudden, I see.
Starting point is 00:31:19 a response from Dan's email. Sydney did a double take. I'm like, wait a minute, I can't be reading this right. It must be from his brother. So I opened it and I began reading. And it was just complete, sheer shock of horror. the very first line of this email said darling Sydney I have sinned against God and you
Starting point is 00:31:57 please forgive me I am not dead it is like love you feel it in your heart iR radio Canada's number one streaming app for radio and podcasts including iHeart Pride Canada your favorite hits and must have party bangers plus personalized and curated Like back in the day pride. Come together, celebrate. Take pride with you anytime, anywhere.
Starting point is 00:32:41 Just ask your smart speaker to play IHeart Pride Canada. Stream us on your phone or listen now at iHeartRadio.ca. Joy is essential and it's also elusive. You can't order it, you can't borrow it or simply hope it into life. But now, there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence. Joy 101. It's a new podcast hosted by me, Hoda Kotby. Together, guys, we'll have meaningful conversations with the world's most fascinating people. Entertainment legends, sports icons, wellness experts, and everyday people will share how they find, allow, and experience joy.
Starting point is 00:33:20 And I'll offer some of my own tips and takes on seeking a more balanced and harmonious life. If you're craving inspiration, support, and useful tools to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting, and moving on-air chats. Joy after a breakup. Joy as an empty nester. Joy after a loss. Joy as a caretaker. This new podcast will speak to you.
Starting point is 00:33:43 Listen to Joy 101 on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're seeking to try to understand the forensic science behind these cases that we hear about in the news, Body bags is where you need to turn. There's no fluff. We do a deep dive into the forensics. Listen to Bodybags with Joseph Scott Morgan on America's number one podcast network, Iheart. Open your free IHeart app and search BodyBags with Joseph Scott Morgan and start listening. Happy Pride from the Outspoken Podcast Network.
Starting point is 00:34:22 All month long and all year round, we're celebrating being loud, proud, and always original. It's me, Brandon Kyle Goodman. host of the podcast, Tell Me Something Messy. Check out my show for unfiltered takes on dating, relationships, and adulting. The more you get comfortable with someone, the more their real self comes out, they're going to be gross. What's the grossest thing about a man? Burping. Shut it down.
Starting point is 00:34:42 Listen to High Key for the best pop culture takes, and there are no girls on the internet for all your tech news. For your favorite celebrity key keys, check outlaws with T.S. Madison. Wait, so Luke was the son of Vader. And Vader was turned by Rupal. Yeah, well, somebody's talking about. Turn of some old, old, old witch. Learn to love yourself unapologetically with BFF, Black Fat Fem, and start your day with intention with waking up with Ryan coming in July.
Starting point is 00:35:09 Celebrate Pride with the outspoken network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Open your free IHeart Radio app, search Pride and listen now. To help process her partner Dan's death, Sidney decided to put everything she wished she could tell him in an email as a final goodbye. She'd been dealing with this grief for almost a year and a half and was ready to move on. She wrote her message and hit send. She finally felt a sense of closure.
Starting point is 00:35:44 But then, a few days later, she was checking her email when she saw something impossible. Dan had responded. I'm like, wait a minute, I can't be reading this right. It must be from his brother. So I opened it and I began reading. And it was just complete sheer shock of horror. The very first line of this email said, Darling Sidney, I have sinned against God and you.
Starting point is 00:36:21 Please forgive me. I am not dead. And I just sat there and went, this is a joke. This is literally a joke from somebody. But as she kept reading, it became horrifyingly clear. He was very much alive, and he was writing with an explanation. It continued to say, I never got divorced. I am still married.
Starting point is 00:36:48 I knew that you would never see me if you knew I was married. Not only had Dan's death been a lie, their life together had been a lie, too. He had been married the entire time he was with Sydney. And the time that we spent together, his wife, was back in the Midwest, taking care of a mother that was very, very ill. He'd been living a double life. And he couldn't keep up both. So according to Dan's email,
Starting point is 00:37:27 his brothers stepped in to suggest a plan to end his relationship with Sydney. None of his family wanted him to get divorced. And they said, well, we will come up with a plan. And the plan was to fake his death. Sidney stared at the email in shock. She couldn't comprehend the words fake and death together. She thought she might get sick. He said, I know you didn't deserve it,
Starting point is 00:37:58 but that was the only way we knew how to end it with me. Sydney drove to her daughter's house in a daze. She looked at me and said, Mom, are you okay? And I said, you need to follow me in your bedroom because I have something to tell you. And I told her and she just couldn't believe it. Under the heartbreak and confusion, there was rage.
Starting point is 00:38:23 Sydney felt deeply manipulated. There's no words to express how horrible and deceived I felt. How in the world could see. someone stoop that low and go to that extreme, how could anyone treat anyone like that? And this wasn't just anyone. This was Dan, the man who made her believe in love again. The man, just days ago, she would have done anything to hear from again. Her head was spinning. During the year of her life, she had spent grieving Dan's death and struggling to get out of bed,
Starting point is 00:39:06 Sidney had to remind herself that there was nothing she could have done to prevent him from dying. But now, she found out, this had all been a choice, his choice. He let her suffer alone and let her grieve his death while he carried on living, and he did all of this knowing how much loss Sydney had already endured in her lifetime. Death is horrible. It's the worst thing that can happen to a loved one. It sent me into despair and loneliness and unbelievable grief.
Starting point is 00:39:42 The whole thing was horrific, but it was also ludicrous. It was so absurd that she found herself torn between crying and laughing. Now all of a sudden I find out he's risen from the dead. I mean, he couldn't just break up with me. She had to derive this plan that broke my heart into pieces. She sat with everything for a few days, letting the reality of the situation catch up with her. I just couldn't believe it. I was horrified. I was upset. I was angry. And I just cried. She thought of Dan's wife, and she felt horrible. She knew this must be painful for her, too.
Starting point is 00:40:28 Sydney kept rereading Dan's confession, not sure what to do next. Do I respond? What do I do? For three nights, Sydney lay in bed unable to sleep. And finally I decided to reply. She began drafting her email, and everything she had been feeling came pouring out of her. Were you too cowardly just tell me the truth? you could have just told me the truth
Starting point is 00:40:59 and that wouldn't have hurt nearest bad do you even have the slightest idea of what your charade did to me and my daughter did you lie about everything you ever told me I pray that you did not lie about losing your grandson I wish I could say that I never met you but that wouldn't have been accurate
Starting point is 00:41:29 I'm glad we met because I finally learned how much I was capable of loving so completely and unconditionally and selflessly. And for that, I'm going to thank you. And I ended it. In the months that followed, Cindy was plunged into a new type of grief. She no longer had to face Dan's death. She was now faced with the reality of Dan's life
Starting point is 00:41:59 and how he'd chosen to spend it. It took me a very, very long time to get past the anger and the hurt. I had so many unanswered questions. I was still extremely hurt and tormented by what Dan had revealed and what he had done to me. So I decided one last time to reach out to Dan. She wrote him another email, asking for a full explanation of what he'd done. I was writing it for myself because I was still angry with myself for believing everything he told me and not analyzing it any better than I did.
Starting point is 00:42:47 A few days later, Dan responded, and in his email, he revealed that his lies extended far beyond his death and his marriage. He explained that he wasn't who I thought he was. His real last name was different. He lived somewhere else other than where he told me he lived. His kids' names weren't what they told me they were. Everything he told me was a lie, except for the fact of how he felt. He was begging me to meet him so he could finally tell me the whole story. and told me the truth about everything he did and why he did it.
Starting point is 00:43:32 Sydney agreed to meet him. A few days later, he knocked on her door. And when she saw Dan in person, she was overwhelmed. For over a year, she wanted nothing more than for him to miraculously reappear. To talk to him one more time. All the grieving in here he is. He's back. He said he was going to come clean.
Starting point is 00:43:57 and show her everything. He gave me a copy of his driver's license, copy of his passport to see what his real name was, who his kids really were. Then Dan pulled out a stack of business cards. He had a fake company, fake business cards, a fake name, fake email address, fake phone number.
Starting point is 00:44:22 He traveled quite a bit, and he would give those out to women, that he met. Their airplane meetcute had always felt so one of a kind. Now, she saw it as part of Dan's pattern. He had lied to so many women. But Dan insisted with Sydney, it was different. When they met, it was clear to him that what they shared was real. He knew he shouldn't have let their relationship get as serious as it did. But he couldn't help himself. He had fallen in love with me and didn't know how to get out of it. He couldn't apologize enough and professed his love and asked if I would consider taking him back after all that.
Starting point is 00:45:20 Dan admitted that he'd been a coward. He knew what he did was wrong. He had wanted to be with Sydney all along. He just couldn't find a way out of his marriage and his life. But now, he was ready to risk everything to chase what he really wanted. Her. Then he takes out a divorce decree, and it shows that he just filed for divorce. Filing for divorce was his way to prove to me that it was truly over this time
Starting point is 00:45:54 and started crying while he's telling me how much he loved me and so sorry for deceit. receiving me and hurting me, and he just wasn't strong enough to confront what he needed to do. Dan laid everything out in front of her. He knew his honesty would cost him, but it was worth it to him if Sidney would consider giving him a second chance. I didn't know what to do. There were so many questions, but I still, I loved him. I mean, I never stopped loving him. It felt like a miracle that that Dan was sitting in front of her at all. The thing she had mourned for the last year was now possible, a future with Dan.
Starting point is 00:46:41 And now, he wanted to start a new life with her. I wanted what we had again, because I'd never had that before. I'd made so many mistakes in my lifetime with relationships. Nothing ever worked out. And I thought, finally, finally, it was going to be what I wanted. Dan left her house and Sydney was left to grapple with this strange situation she found herself in.
Starting point is 00:47:13 A few weeks later, He showed up at my door with all his belongings and everything and said, The divorce is going forward and she's moved on, I've moved out of the house. Can I stay with you and can we try this again? And lo and behold, I took him back. Right away, that effortless joy Sydney always felt with Dan came flooding back. It was like a storybook. We couldn't spend enough time together.
Starting point is 00:47:51 We started traveling together. We had hiked the Grand Canyon. It was amazing. Despite everything Dan had done, Sydney felt like they were on the other side. They had rebuilt the trust through dozens of hard and honest conversations. As unusual as their love story was, to Sydney, the relationship was stronger than ever. We were living together. He was going through his divorce. I knew when he was going to court. He didn't hide anything from me.
Starting point is 00:48:24 We were finally open and honest and happy. In September, Dan and Sydney went on a. a trip to Denali National Park in Alaska to go hiking. It was just a few weeks before Dan's divorce was set to be finalized, and they were looking forward to leaving that painful chapter of their relationship behind them. And three days before his divorce was due to be final, he came home from work and said he had just seen his lawyer and that he had canceled the divorce. They had just sat down for dinner together.
Starting point is 00:49:09 Sidney stopped eating and stared at Dan, stunned. What do you mean you canceled the divorce? And he said, well, she was going to take 75% of his wealth. He proceeded to tell me, my money is too important. I can't lose everything I've worked for. So he informed me that he, canceled the divorce and he was moving back home. Dan sat calmly at the dinner table, but to Sydney, it felt like the room was spinning.
Starting point is 00:49:47 And I just sat there and I looked at him and I just remember saying, you're doing this to me again? I screamed and I said, get out. And he said, well, I'll make sure I'm out in the morning. I said, no, you won't. You will make sure you are out now. I never, ever want to see you, hear from you, repeat your name again. Dan stood up and began collecting his things. And he stopped and said, this isn't what I want.
Starting point is 00:50:26 And I remember just laughing in his face going, I don't care what you want. This is what I want. And you are leaving now. Dan walked out the door and Sidney closed it behind him. She would never open the door to him again. I've spent the past four years getting past what happened. I dated.
Starting point is 00:50:55 I had relationships. Nothing ever worked out. But as her daughter said in her voice memo to us, this is a story about a woman who couldn't give up on love. Remember my friend I told you about my very, very special friend? Peter, the friend who encouraged Sidney to throw how she was feeling out to the universe. Well, we're together. We're actually engaged.
Starting point is 00:51:28 He's absolutely amazing. I'm very happy. And I couldn't ask for anything more. There's a bright light after this horrible story. That's him. So he threw it out to the universe. Maybe he was right about that strategy after all. My life finally turned around.
Starting point is 00:51:52 Sometimes you have to go through really bad things to really then appreciate the best. And I have the best right now. Sydney endured so much pain in her relationship with Dan. But there was something she gained from the experience that Dan can never take away. I learned how to love. And I had never learned that before. In your darkest moments, it's amazing how strong you can become.
Starting point is 00:52:24 We end every weekly episode with the same question. Why do you want to share your story? I was angry at myself for a long time. And I kept thinking, how could I have fallen for this, not once but twice. Why did it happen to me? And the only answer I had was that I fell in low with him. I just wanted to believe. I wanted to trust. None of us are stupid. We're all smart people. And we got to quit telling ourselves we're not when things like this happen. All I did was want to love someone.
Starting point is 00:53:17 On the next episode of Betrayal Weekly. I don't know this person. What I had in my mind is not true. He's not the person I thought he was. I have no idea what he was capable of doing. If you'd like to share your story on Betrayal, please email Betrayalpod at gmail.com. That is Betrayal P-O-D at Gmail.com.
Starting point is 00:53:49 Please note that we are not a mental health organization. If you are in crisis or currently experiencing domestic violence, we encourage you to seek local health or dial 911. Please contact organizations that offer immediate support. In our show notes, we've included a list of U.S.-based resources. You can follow us on Instagram at Betrayal Pod or find me at It's Andrea Gunning. To access our newsletter and additional content and to connect with the betrayal community, join our substack at Betrayal.substack.com.
Starting point is 00:54:27 We're grateful for your support. One way to show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. And don't forget to rate and review Betrayal. Five-star reviews go a long way. Big thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with IHeart Podcast. The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fasin.
Starting point is 00:54:52 Hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning. Written and produced by Olivia Hewitt. Our story editor is Monique Laborde. Also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our associate producer is Leah Jablo. Production Management by Kristen Mulcure. Booking support by Curry Richmond. Our I-Heart team is Ali Perry and Jessica Crimecheck.
Starting point is 00:55:14 Audio editing by Tanner Robbins with additional editing and mixing by Matt Dalbekio. The trail's theme composed by Oliver Baines, music library provided by My Music. And for more podcasts from IHeart, visit the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Boy is essential and it's also elusive.
Starting point is 00:55:42 But now, there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence. Joy 101. It's a new podcast hosted by me, Howde Kotby. If you're craving inspiration, support and useful tools to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting, and moving on-air chats. Listen to Joy 101 on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
Starting point is 00:56:05 or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're seeking to try to understand the forensic science behind these cases that we hear about in the news, body bags is where you need to turn. There's no fluff. We do a deep dive into the forensics. Listen to Bodybags with Joseph Scott Morgan on America's number one podcast network.
Starting point is 00:56:30 IHeart. Open your free IHeart app and search BodyBags with Joseph Scott Morgan and start listening. Hi listeners, I'm Anna Sinfield, host of The Girlfriends Trust Me Babe. I'm excited to share the Girlfriends, Trust Me Babe, story with you.
Starting point is 00:56:47 And I want to let you know that you can get access to all episodes of season 1, 2, 3, and 4 of The Girlfriends and every single episode of The Girlfriends, and every single episode of The Girlfriends Trust Me Babe, 100% ad-free with an I-Heart True Crime Plus subscription, available exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Plus, you'll get access to all episodes of The Girlfriends Trust Me, Babe,
Starting point is 00:57:09 one week ahead of everyone else. Available only to IHeart True Crime Plus subscribers. So don't wait, head to Apple Podcasts, search for IHeart True Crime Plus, and subscribe today. Hi, listeners. I'm Michelle. host of the Kingdom of Fraud podcast. It's the story of a devout polygamist from Utah, a fearsome Armenian businessman in L.A., and their $1 billion fraud conspiracy. I'm excited to share the story
Starting point is 00:57:41 with you and want to let you know that you can get access to all episodes of Kingdom of Fraud 100% ad-free with an I-Heart True Prime Plus subscription, available exclusively on Apple Podcast. Plus, you'll get access to all episodes of Kingdom of Fraud one week ahead of everyone else, available only to IHeart True Crime Plus subscribers. So don't wait. Head to Apple Podcasts, search for IHeart True Crime Plus, and subscribe today. This is an IHeart podcast, guaranteed human.

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