Better Offline - Monologue: The Tech I Actually Like

Episode Date: April 25, 2025

In this week’s monologue, Ed Zitron walks you through the tech he actually likes, and how digital connections give him hope in the darkest times. YOU CAN NOW BUY BETTER OFFLINE MERCH! Go to https://cottonbureau.com/people/better-offline and use code FREE99 for free shipping on orders of $99 or more.You can also order a limited-edition Better Offline hat until 5/22/25! https://cottonbureau.com/p/CAGDW8/hat/better-offline-hat#/28510205/hat-unisex-dad-hat-black-100percent-cotton-adjustable Sasmsung 49” Odyssey OLED G9 https://amzn.to/3Gg5QvbAscrono Macbook Dock https://amzn.to/3YHfSeOAnker Nano Power Bank (10k mAh, USB-C Cable) https://amzn.to/44zjC5RAnker 165W USBC battery with retractable cable: https://amzn.to/445DwpaAnker 250W GaN Prime Charger: https://amzn.to/42QOEVH Anker MagGo 3-in-1 Charger: https://amzn.to/3YK26btMacbook Pro 16”: https://amzn.to/42HtiJc Apple Watch Series 10: https://amzn.to/43XQ3uF Apple Airpods Max: https://amzn.to/4cLb12n Airpods Pro 2: https://amzn.to/3Er5SQd Moonlander ZSA: https://www.zsa.io/moonlanderApple Magic Trackpad: https://amzn.to/3GhYPtwPakt 25L Duffel: https://paktbags.com/products/25l-travel-duffelTonal: tonal.com --- LINKS: https://www.tinyurl.com/betterofflinelinks Newsletter: https://www.wheresyoured.at/ Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/BetterOffline/  Discord: chat.wheresyoured.at Ed's Socials: https://twitter.com/edzitron https://www.instagram.com/edzitron https://bsky.app/profile/edzitron.com https://www.threads.net/@edzitronSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Learn how podcasting can help your business. Call 844-Ehart. AllZone Media. The world's got plenty of cowboys, but it's short on dancers. This is the award-winning better off-line. and I'm your host Ed Zittron. That's right, you're listening to this week's monologue. And you may wonder why I'm saying award winning,

but that's because we won the goddamn Webby for best episode in the business category. We're winners, all of us, you, me, every listener. You all did this. Thank you so much. And before I get started any further, as lots of you have been asking about it, we're finally selling better off-line merchandise. We've got shirts, hoodies, onesies, glasses, tumblers and mugs,

and until May 22nd, we're selling a limited edition hat. It's all really good stuff. the links are in the episode notes. Buy them now. Anyway, the monologue. I've realized that over time I've skewed pretty negatively about tech, and as I've said before,

it's because I'm a broken-hearted romantic. Tech has made me who I am, enabling me a man with a coordinational disability, dyspraxia, if you're curious, severe ADHD, and a good amount of social anxiety in the past, well, it allowed me to thrive. Without the internet and the associated platforms I've used,

I would have never had a good life, and if that sounds dramatic, you should see my hand rang, or hear how awkward I was as a child, or see how I tie my shoelaces. Anyway, so today I want to talk about some of the things I love, why I love them and why you might love them too, because it's important for you to see that I'm pissed off

because I know that tech can be cool. It can be so much better. Now, while some of you might see this as shilling or fanboying, I think it's important that anyone covering tech actually likes it, find something exciting about it and wants it to be better beyond the bullshit horse trading or sports fandom style stuff. And this episode will also run down my general daily carries.

I optimize for convenience and as little thought as possible because I'm a huge baby and I need everything to be easy. I do not have any financial relationships with any of these companies that have in some cases given them a great deal of my own money. Unless I specify otherwise, everything I've mentioned or linked to something I've bought with my own money and far in advance of recording this. So, at my desk, I use this insufferable keyboard, a split keyboard called the Moonlander ZSA, and it lets me type and feel like I'm plugged into the mainframe. You've got your two hands separate. It's good for the wrist because you're not moving them around. And I've got an Apple Magic trackpad, along with a giant 49-inch Samsung OLED, it's a G9, connected to this thing called an escrono dock where I just slide my MacBook Pro 16 inch in. Your mileage may vary, but I really like it when I travel between New York and Vegas to just be able to slot the thing in and have the same setup.

It works. It works really well. And like I said, I'm a huge baby, so if it didn't, I'd be complaining endlessly. Now, when I'm out and about, I really like what companies like Anchor have been doing with gallium nitride, GAN for short, and their charges and batteries. GAN lets you put way more power in a much smaller profile, meaning that you can now get charges that are dramatically smaller that can fast charge your iPhone or your iPad, or even your MacBook Pro. The reason I like Anchor stuff is because it works and it can take a beating,

and their batteries tend to come with a cable built in, which I love because I hate having to have cables in my pocket. If you would cost me on the street, I probably have one of their fast-charging USBC batteries in my pocket, mostly because it can fast-charge either my iPhone or my iPad. They also just released this giant 165-watt power bank with two cables. I'm lusting for it. so badly, but I cannot justify it. I already have a really similar battery pack that I bought years

ago. I have no justification for it. Now what's cool about these is that they can also be charged using their built-in cables. I hate carrying extra shit around, so this works very well for me. I also use an anchor prime charger when I'm travelling. It's got the ports, the power all my stuff, including my MacBook, along with a Maggo wireless charging station, which is kind of a little fold-up thing, charged your AirPods Pro, your Apple Watch and your phone via MagSafe. It all just kind of works, which is kind of the theme of everything. And for those curious, I also really like the AirPods max. They sound great. They're way too expensive.

They're like 500 bucks. But they sound lovely and they fit these giant goddamn ears I've got. Some of you have said, I'm an Apple fanboy. I'm an Apple fan boy in the past. What I really am is a suck of a stuff that all works together. And I realize I am being monopolized. You do not need to tell me, I know. And I've also really, I will say it again,

like Apple's App Store is horrifying. I believe that they are responsible for fueling, truly evil industries. Anyway, though it's not tech per se, I really need to tell you about the PAC-25L travel duffel. I think it might mean later, I don't know. It's where I put all my crap when I'm traveling. It fits something to see in front of you on Southwest.

It's able to fit a lot of crap, has lots of slots for your laptop, and generally feels comfortable over your shoulder. I know it's weird to bring up a bag in a tech thing, but this bag is amazing. I've gone through like five different other bags to find this one. And I can throw my prime charger in it, my MacBook, my iPad, my clothes, medicines, all sorts of crap, and it all fits in, and it opens at the top so you can look inside of it

without having to pull it fully out. I love it. I love it. I've got Instagram targeted with it, which annoys me. I don't like that the internet manipulated me. But thanks to all this gear, I can basically walk around all day without worrying about anything dying, probably two days, honestly, and I've got this little bag of cables and extra batteries that I can hand out to friends who haven't been planning ahead like I have. Skill issue. Moving on, though, those of you who follow me on Blue Sky will know that I've been on a big fitness push, A big part of that has been Tonal. Tonal is this giant wall-mounted exercise machine with a big screen in the middle,

along with big adjustable arms that could be moved around to fit different exercises. It's hard to explain, but I advise you to go to the website. So if you want to do bench press, you put the arms down, you go on the bench, and you push up with the cables. It works really well, and it uses magnetic resistance to create up to 125 pounds away either side, and uses on-screen prompts, either through classes or your own custom workouts, which is what I use, to tell you both what to do, critique your form, using the built-in camera, give you feedback, and actually count your reps, which I love.

Because again, huge baby, don't like writing stuff down. Don't really like having to do anything. If they could do the workout for me, I'd let them. But nevertheless, it works really well. And like, I must say, though, it is egregiously expensive. It's over $4,000 before tax and requires a great deal of space around it. But it's possibly my favorite piece of tech ever made. It just works. I dropped from 240 pounds to 165 pounds since the show began, gaining real muscle definition and physical strength. And since getting Tonal in 2021, I realize that's much longer, I've done hundreds of workouts. Look, I'm a simpleton, and thus having something count my reps and tell me exactly what to do is extremely effective. And Tonal also has cool shit like eccentric mode,

where they add more weight on the eccentric movement at the exercise. So if you're thinking of the bench press, it starts by your chest and you push up and then when, and you've done the push up, as the weight is coming down, it adds weight to that. Accentric weight, there are studies that suggest it works more. It feels good though. I'll also say the form correction works and the workouts are varied in equivalent to working out with real iron. It's got barbells, it's got dumbbell exercises, and I've got real muscle as a result, which is the best endorsement I could actually give. I love it. I've happily paid for it. And tonal is worth it if you're going to use it like any gym membership, except unlike any gym membership, you have a bloody thing nailed to your wall if you

don't use it. Don't get this if you're not going to use it. Seriously, it's so expensive. But if you are, if you are truly going to, it is the best money I've ever spent, really. I'm sure that there are more important things. But nevertheless, it's, I just upgraded to Tonal 2, which has like smoother action and stuff, but I beat the ever-living shit out of my old one. I used the crap out of it. It's something I kind of dreamed of as a kid. Like, I really wanted something like this, something that direct me and allow me to do

these exercises and tell me what to do without having to go to the gym, because the gym feels like a very judgmental place. And on a higher level, I have, up until recently, really not liked my body or how I look. And connected fitness stuff has really helped me fix that. For those curious or those who aren't but want to get pissed off at me, I work out about three to five times a week, either lifting on tonal or doing my cardio days, which include Peloton's yoga classes, and another one of my favorite tech products, Fight Camp,

which puts you've got Puttons Trackers in the Raps. And yeah, they've got great classes. Shout to Coach PJ. I love Fight Camp. I really do. And I love boxing as well. If you've ever wanted a cardio exercise that just feels perfect, really boxing is it. You're probably throwing a punch wrong.

I certainly was. I'm like smiling as I read this bit. But this was a large part of how I changed my view of fitness from this kind of punishment, a kind of a penance for the sin of sloth, for feeling bad about how I looked in the mirror, for feeling lethargic, but just feeling fat. And I'm sure there are listeners who totally get this as well. and I use this kind of stuff to find it as a joyous alternative to typing all day,

something that makes me feel happy and strong, like I'm building something that's just for me. I'm building an image. And I know that sounds for a dramatic. Who gives a shit? It's a monologue. Come on. We can have some fun.

But having data, the work I've done, my heart rate, the volume of what I've been lifting, my output on the heavy bag, it all lets me see progress, sure, but it gives me a body of work. And the connected fitness aspect, let me do it alone. which helped my social anxiety and going to the gym. Now I'm extremely social and I'm very confident in who I am. And I think a lot of that came from this, came from the fitness side. If you ever want to talk about this, my email is easy at betteroffline.com.

It's Echo Zeta at Betteroffline.com. Always happy to talk fitness. Always happy to give advice. I'm not a personal trainer. But I've found so much joy through this and it is through the tech side. Yet beyond the connective fitness aspect was this thing that I, I truly love the most about technology. It's the connections I've made with real human beings that have made my physical life so much better.

A few years ago, I started chatting to a guy called Ben Rudolph on Twitter, and we, along with a few friends, Tachiana, Caleb, ended up starting a group DM for fitness, which truly changed my life, in part because Ben, out of the kindness of his heart, patiently explained everything from how to build a sustainable lifting routine to showing me a video of how to throw a punch and a kick. I'm proud to call Ben, my friend, and had the internet not existed, I'd never have got to share my fitness journey with him,

and probably never got out of the hole I was in. I was injured after really over-training, because I got very depressed, and Ben helped me out. Ben is not in fitness himself. He is a mountain of a man, a formidable, muscled fella, but he works in tech. It just so happened that we had a mutual interest. This is the reason I log on to the internet.

And, like, this is really what I love the most about technology. As dark and ominous and brutal as the world feels right now, as noxious and poisonous as social media can feel and seem, there's such joy to be had connecting with others about just about anything. I love using Reddit, and if you're on the better offline Reddit, I truly love you for posting there. And the way all of you responded to the Webby thing actually made me cry in the best way.

Thank you. And I love Blue Sky too, because for every sickly little pedant correcting me, there are hundreds of wonderful souls, many of whom choose to email me when I make this show. At the core of my critiques and complaints is the sense that I know what technology is done and will do for me, in a frustration that there are those who would interfere with that process as much as possible for profit, or growth, I guess. And I realize it's bland and obvious to say

the internet is good for connecting people, but it really is. And had it not done so for me, I don't know if I'd have made it out of my teens. And you can choose what you want to make that meme. I find such joy and love in my friends. I'm so incredibly grateful for them. At times I well up with the love in my heart for their kindness and their generosity that they continually show me and almost every single friendship I've made has started online. I can connect with them wherever they are in the world. I can send them what I'm doing or hear what they're doing, what I'm feeling, and vice versa. And for that, I'm eternally grateful. Nothing about this gratitude stops me from critiquing these companies, and indeed the love that I've fostered through digital

connections drives my fury at those who would interfere with or exploit it. True cynicism doesn't come from a place of emptiness. It comes from a determination to defend that which makes us for your whole. Thank you for listening. And again, by the way, thank you for voting for me in the Webby's. It fucking rocks me one. Actually, you know what? Before I go, I was going to log off there. I just want to thank everyone who works on Better Offline. I forget whether we put the thing at the back that says all of these things again. But thank you to Matt Asowski, Robert Evans, Sophie Lichten, Ava Warrinder, Daniel Goodman, Ian Johnson, and everyone who works on this show. You've been extraordinarily supportive. It's a pleasure to do this. And yeah, thank you to the

listeners as well. It's my cheesy way of thanking you all for the Webby. Anyway, the episode's really done now. Cheers. Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel, help an a cappella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. To humor me with Robert Smigel and friends on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Joey Dardano, and on my new podcast, Hope from a Hypocrite, I'll be changing lives, helping people in need with thoughtful solutions. Sike, I'm a comedian. I'm not qualified to give good advice. Join me and my comedian friends as we riff, rant, recommend some of the most legally dubious advice known to me. This is Help from a Hypocrite, the worst advice from the dumbest people you know. Listen to Help from Hippocrat Wednesdays on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This season on Dear Chelsea, with me, Chelsea Handler, we have some fantastic guests like Amelia Clark. When like young people come up to me and they want to be an actor or whatever. And my first thing is always, can you think of anything else that you can do?

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