Between the Moon - Ep 23: Midlife Moonstory with Vanessa Novissimo Wright

Episode Date: October 23, 2024

Hello dear listener,As you know, the lunar cycle helps us pay attention because it’s always changing. Lunar tracking shows us how to find our own rhythm and energy amidst the fluctuations. It reminds us that we don’t have to fix ourselves - and can actually help us feel empowered to be more in-season with where we are at currently. On today’s episode I have the pleasure of speaking with published author and coach Vanessa Wright about ways to feel empowered and flow with life’s challenges and how pausing can lead to transformation. She shares about how her practice of lunar tracking and purposefully seeing joy supported her through perimenopause to menopause, and the lasting effects this had on her creativity and view of cycles and seasons.In our conversation Vanessa describes her experience of returning to her ancestral lands in Italy and a powerful Moonstory that marks a major turning-point in her journey. Moonstories are what I like to call the moments in our lives when the presence of the moon was witnessing us at a pivotal crossroads. In these moments, we can feel like we are actually not alone and may receive new insight to continue on our path. I loved what she shared and I hope it inspires you to notice your own Moonstory moments. We muse about the reliability of the moon - especially when things can feel unmoored or like everyone else is relying on us and we need something that can hold us - in this case during big life initiations like menopause. This is a great episode for moms and people in caretaking roles who want to feel more inspired to find five minutes a day to connect with themselves to reduce stress and invite more awareness and magic. There are some incredible insights we shared about not having to do it “right” with the moon, but being curious and noticing patterns to sense our own energy. Join us as we explore practices that are replenishing, but aren’t always the same - as we cycle through different stages of life. Vanessa is a certified life coach, writer, seasoned homeschooling mom, and speaker dedicated to empowering midlife mothers through her FLOW method. She helps women reclaim their energy, creativity, and joy by fostering sustainable self-care practices. In this episode she gives us a glimpse of her FLOW self-care method and the benefits of awareness at each stage of life.Feed your body, mind, spiritLove yourself and lean into your season of lifeOwn your time and spaceWeed out what's not working and welcome something new. Vanessa is a former contributor to the popular The Homeschool Mom blog. Since 2017, she has served as the special projects and content associate at Big Life Journal. Vanessa loves journals, stickers, pens, 80s/90s music, and reading five books at a time. She resides with her family in Raleigh, NC.Website: www.vanessanwright.comInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/vanessanwright/Also mentioned: I shared a template for color-coding activities based on a book called 10x Is Easier Than 2x: How World-Class Entrepreneurs Achieve More by Doing Less (ifykyk). LUNARFLOW: code for 10% off when you purchase your copy of the New Moon Calendar Journal in the shop: https://themoonismycalendar.com/new-products This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit themoonismycalendar.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome, dear listener, to Between the Moon, a podcast about self-study in relationship with cycles. I'm your host, April McMurtry, founder of The Moon is My Calendar. The lunar cycle helps us pay attention because it's always changing. Lunar tracking then shows us how to find our own rhythm and energy amidst these fluctuations. It reminds us that we don't have to fix ourselves and can actually help us feel empowered to be more in season with where we are at currently. On today's episode, I have the pleasure of speaking with published author and coach Vanessa Novisimo Wright about ways to feel empowered and flow with life's challenges and how pausing can sometimes leave.

to transformation. She shares about how her practice of lunar tracking and purposefully seeking joy supported her through perimenopause to menopause and the lasting effects this had on her creativity and view of cycles and seasons. In our conversation, Vanessa describes her experience of returning to her ancestral lands in Italy and a powerful moon story that marks a major turning point in her journey. Moon stories are what I like to call the moments in our lives when the presence of the moon was witnessing us at a pivotal crossroads. In these moments, we can feel like we are actually not alone and may receive new insights to continue on our path. I love what she shared and I hope it inspires you to notice more of your own moon story moments.

moments. A little bit more about Vanessa. She's a certified life coach, writer, seasoned homeschooling mom and speaker who is dedicated to empowering midlife mothers through her flow method. And she outlines this in this episode. Vanessa helps women reclaim their energy, creativity, and joy by fostering sustainable self-care practices. And you can find out more about Vanessa's work. at her website, Vanessa n-write.com, V-A-N-E-S-A-N-E-S-A-N-W-R-I-G-H-T dot com, and all the links will be in the show notes. Welcome, Vanessa. Let's dive in. It's fun for me to have a conversation that's like, let's see where this goes and let's see, you know, what gets to come up. But the things that I'm really curious about are,

I was thinking about this. I was like, well, I wonder what Vanessa would say in terms of, of something that is valuable to pay attention to with lunar tracking, right? Part of it is what am I just even paying attention to on a daily basis? I've always loved the moon, but like never understood all the cycles. Like what does that mean for me emotionally, spiritually? I was kind of like on a spiritual journey that was looking a little bit of unraveling of things I had grown up with. It just kind of looking for something as I was in a very wonky period.

literally of my period, not being like reliable, right? And I was like looking for anchors and things to hold on to. And I think that's when I started doing this deep dive into, well, how can I support myself in other ways that I would never have dreamed of 10, 15, 20 years ago because it felt too woo-woo or felt too weird. But actually is this like a lot of these ancient, for me, ancestral practices, I'm 100% Italian. So I've really tried to go back and see like what would have my ancestors, my great-grandmothers who were born in Italy, all of them were born in Italy, my great-great-grandmothers, right? And kind of really coming to terms of like, what does that look like for me as a modern, like person living in 2024, who's almost 50, is surrounded by all this technology. What does that

look like? So it's been kind of a interesting, fun journey. Wow. Yeah, the moon being an anchor, and I've heard that a lot, especially with women who've worked with the New Moon Calendar and Journal, or work with some kind of lunar tracking practice to weather that transition time, that that was a very helpful, like, okay, I might not be cycling in a predictable way. I feel like I'm on this precipice. I've been warning my husband. I'm like, honey, I don't know what's coming, but like I hear all these things. Right.

Yeah. And it's so different for every person. Like, that's another thing. And like for me, when perimenopause were like kicked up in my late 30s, early 40s, and then my kids started like ramping up into like the puberty. And I was like, whose idea was this? This is terrible. This is terrible idea because my kids are only 22 months apart.

So everybody was going through puberty like after the other. And I was like, you've got to be kidding. This is terrible. And so I finally had to like put the white flag up for myself from a coach who was helping me at the time. and she said, okay, can we just like agree that you need to take a breather? And out of that one question when she sat there and asked me that all of the work that I'm doing now was born. And if you would have told me that, like 10, 15, 20 years ago wasn't even on my radar. Wow.

I just totally got goosebumps. I think part of that, you know, having somebody that's able to see the landscape of your life, Rather than like keep going, here's the strategy, like how you can just keep moving forward, but actually to pause and that seems like a big turning point. Yeah. Last summer was when I, I always, I crossed over and went through menopause. Like I had my date, had been a year. But I was using your, like I used was using the moon as my calendar because I was so, like,

and I'll just be open. I was like, I just went to like major depression last summer. It just major like, what is happening? And so I had to put tools in practice. is in place to really feel supportive. And I also needed to see what was going on in my world. Because when I would just pick my head up, I would just feel like completely overwhelmed. But as a writer, as somebody who loves, I love journaling. Like please, I have like 10, 15 journals, like always. And so I needed to have a place to put to put myself into, if that makes sense,

and feel supported. So that was like a huge thing for me as I transitioned into the, best like next age and stage of my life. Wow. And now more than ever because again, I went through it, you know, I would say like for me it was a completely natural process. I didn't, it just happened. I was 48 and a half. And then it was really about like maybe two or three months ago I mentioned like when I was like emailing you, it was like, you know, I really need to focus in more on like having, again, having that anchor. Where am I in the moon cycle? Creativity. energetically, because I felt a little bit, like, unmoored for the last year, just trying to, like, come up for air, put your head above the water.

And now I feel like I'm kind of getting back to that ground. And I think that's something that feels, thank goodness. I just feel like, thank goodness. Yeah. Yeah. Well, going back to, like, the great grandmother's practices and things that, like, finding ways of incorporating, what are those magical little, things that are just life still happens like the dishes still get dirty and there's constantly keeping up

with things but bringing in some of i don't know you describe that kind of woo-woo part that dimension of life that feels like it goes beyond necessarily just the physical tangible but what is bringing meaning in yeah yeah and i'm just i'm starting to think about my grandmothers too and and i i didn't grow up with the connection with the moon really my mom would always say like look the moon is following us. Like the moon's following us home if we'd be driving at night and out the window. So it's been this like anchor of relationship around something that's always present. Right.

Yes. And I don't know. That's that feeling of grandmothers that may be in great grandmothers that may not be present in our life. But like whether their practices or whether that's just like how they've made meaning and related to their environment and relationships. how to connect in with that. Yeah.

No, I was really fortunate. I got to be around my grandparents for, you know, a lot of my life. And so it was funny because my great grandparents are first generation. So they really were very like, we don't want to be Italian. We want to be American. So they didn't grow up speaking Italian, but their parents only spoke Italian. But a lot of the little things that I, when I look back on, right, like my grandmother was always throwing salt over her shoulder.

right, the music, the food, the cooking as practice, the cooking and the wooden spoon and maybe like how I moved my body and I've really looked at it more of those things. You know, obviously candles were big, like pictures of your ancestors everywhere. And even though Catholicism was what I was raised in, right, there's so, if you look deep into like, especially like Mediterranean, like all of my relatives were all southern Italian. So there's a lot, as I've researched that, right, there's a lot of crossover into, I guess, like, folklore-ish stuff, right? How my brothers would, like, give you the eye and, like, make these hand gestures actually, right?

It's like stuff that we would always like, what's where I'm doing? Or, like, how she would stir the pot with this type of spoon and those little things that I didn't realize. But then I started researching. And I was like, oh, okay, I get it. I'm part of something deeper and longer that maybe I just didn't. I wasn't even aware of. And so that's been a really beautiful thing for me to come into.

Yeah. I just think about what gets kind of ruptured in the disconnection, what happens. Like both my grandmas are first generation born in the U.S. So my mom's side was from England. Like both my grandma's parents were from like the same town in England. And then all this, you know, stuff and upheaval and not upheaval necessarily, but just that need for what drove them to start a life. somewhere and then to be a product of that and feel like, wait, where is there?

There's a homeland. There's in that U.S. like a whitewashing of everything seemingly and filling that void and replacing that with feels like the consumerism of just like buy things. And then your identity comes from the things that you buy and the brands that you wear. And yeah, finding like what is the wisdom that was there that then was, you know, somewhat given up or buried or something, you know? And yeah, I feel like with the moon, I'm like, even in the last couple years thinking of this more of like the English and the Irish and the practices around time telling and the structures and like Stonehenge and New Grange and

Ireland, like places and temples to like mark time, ancient, ancient ways. Yeah, with wanting to connect in with the lunar time. I'm like, well, let me see about just connecting directly with the moon. You know, there's like the ancestral piece of it and what everybody who's had like ruptured connections with that of like of connecting in with like, well, what are the roots of this? And how can this be something that's like anchoring and grounding? Especially on the feeling of like, where do I belong? Yeah. Right?

That's a big, it's a big one. And I feel like so much of just even the world that we live in, I just when I feel into it, so much feels like without senses of. belonging and connection, there is so much violence and there is so much like othering. And if we're not feeling like we belong to the earth and actually rely on the earth for life, then what can be in as a result of that. You're just things when I think about, because I asked you the question, but now I'm pondering too, like, what is this work around the moon and where does it come from and who is it for

and what is, you know, yeah. And what I have found is that feeling and sense of belonging. to the larger cycles of life and death and rebirth and we're all going through on earth, whether it's like plants and all the animals and all the things, everything's cycling, but then, you know, the lunar time piece feels like every culture has a practice of time telling and the sun and the moon are at the center. Right. And there's something for me that's like about the moon.

and I want to say especially the last year or two, like as I was going through menopause, I started becoming really heat intolerant. Like I've always been cold my whole life. Then for the first time I was like having hot flashes and this. I was like, summer for me, I do not like summer anymore. I'm like, it's not my high energy time. In fact, I'm like, I cannot wait for fall to come. But the moon, there was something like, it's dark, it's night, it's quiet.

There's like for me, there's this magical energy to it. And when I got to visit Italy for the very first time in, March of 2023. The third night we were there, there was a full moon. And I knew it because I was tracking. I'm like, I know where I'm going to be in Italy on a full moon. Now, and even though I wasn't necessarily in like, I was in Florence, which is not where my ancestors were, but to be in the country and my room happened to look out onto

this like one of the Medici's tower, right? Like, where probably horrible things probably happened, right? Like I was like holding that. But the full moon was just like, and there was no screens on the window. So I had just stood there with the window, the window wide open. and had all the lights off in my room and I was all by myself and just like wept and cried and just felt this like hole which I had never done before to be like I'm here like I felt like I'm home and there was just I couldn't really explain it but it just was like I have pictures and videos

of it and I watch it all the time and just feel like I have I need to go back I need to go back and explore some more wow so beautiful it's I me think of how the moon is often associated with memory. Like memory and childhood, but that remembering, I don't know what you just described. There's moments that I'll call like they're like little moon stories. There's a story, right? That that's this, a moon story of yours that's so meaningful to recall and to connect with both memory and feeling and embodiment and a moment, like the moment in time marked by that

that particular moon. Yeah, it was just incredible. And I, as I said, like, I was very conscientious before we traveled to see, like, when it would be in, and really, and I was praying that would not be any rain. And really the rain stopped, the clouds parted. I mean, it was like a movie. It was like an absolute movie. And I filmed it.

My room happened to just be just, it was like it was coming right at me, like just for me. And that was like, I will never forget that. And that was just such a special memory. for me because had and I didn't know like things were about to get like really just challenging and hard for me like coming it like after I got home and so I don't know it was just kind of this little blessing of just having it there knowing that I would need to like look back to it as something yeah wow thank you for sharing that I'm just like picturing you know how like

the places where the moonlight enters any building or structure and and you Even at home, we had to get the roof redone. And for some reason, the guy, I don't know if he looked at my website. I don't even know, but he was like, do you want me to cut a hole? Or do you want me to make a skylight so the moon can shine through? And I really, like, I was like, where did this person? Does he know? I don't know.

I don't get it. And I was like, well, yeah, of course, because the way our house is set up. There isn't, there's big trees and just the alignment of things. There isn't a place where the moon like comes and shines directly in. Except this hole. It's incredible. I mean, it's not a whole. Okay.

It's the skylight, right? But it was like cut out of the roof so that the moonlight. And it is just those, you know, certain times of the month when the moon is whole and bright like that. and it marks time in a special way because it's not like the sun that defines our day. That's a very predictable. The day is marked by the sunrise and the sunset, and then the moon is weaving in and out and can be hard to follow and track. So, yeah, that's when I, just in thinking of like,

what are the things to notice and what are the things to track? Because people ask me this a lot. And I am like, well, I can tell you what I do. The idea of what are the daily rhythms or practices that can support health and well-being is a very Virgo trait. And, you know, when I started the moon stuff, I didn't even really know my moon sign. It just happens to be Virgo. And so it's like, I guess it makes sense that I would make a moon calendar that's like, what about the moon every single day?

not just the moon when the moon is full or not just the super moon or not just the glamorized stationized. Popular, yeah. The moon is like only popular at certain points, what I found. And then it is more of like a detailedness around, well, what about the day, like today. The moon's not very popular today. It's what, like the three, two days after the phone. And then what happens?

I mean, that's the part that I'm curious about. Because there are moments in our life, too. And even when you were describing that moon, the moon story, there are these moments that are like really more like these have a lot of, I don't know, like this peak moment in some way that's significant that really like stands out. And then there's all the other things in between that can be, I don't know, easy to just forget all the little stuff. that happens in between. So yeah, that's, that's sort of one of the things I'm curious about is like,

what is it, what are the things that feel important to track on a regular basis or helpful to notice regularly as like creating a thread? The thing I've been doing for like three, almost three years and I did it through the near journal was I started a joy journal because I needed to be looking for joy, not gratitude. Because for me, gratitude feels serious. my body, but joy feels completely different. So I was, I came up, I used the like little daily, like sections in the, in your journal and I would write down at least one or two, three things that brought me joy. And so like to go through like and then to flip back like month after month to see things that brought me joy was so fun because it can, joy can happen every day, not just when,

again, not just when you're planting your new moon intentions or not just when you're like shining a big light on a full moon. Like joy is all around. And like, I'm the goofy person who every night when I take a walk, I'm like, I'm looking up for the moon, right? And I'm like trying to run into something. And like, I don't, like, it doesn't matter to me what stage it's in. Like, I always look up for it. Always. I'm not, it's always beautiful. It's always fascinating. It's always mystical for me. And I just, even just walked around my suburban neighborhood. So just having those little little marks of joy, it's, it's really been super life changing, especially out like in the last couple of years, which it felt really tough and hard in a lot of other places.

Yeah, I love that, The Joy Journal. I resonate with that so much. I think there was a turning point because I've been tracking for, I'm going on 11 years now. I was someone, and this is going to sound terrible. I'm like, hmm, did I brush my teeth today? I don't remember. I'm tired. I'm just going to go to bed.

Like before and then early years of having kids, there wasn't anything that I did on a regular basis. I'm like, did I eat breakfast today? You know, like there was a lot more. chaos in my, yeah, before having kids and then really having to feel like I need to get some things together because kids need rhythm and routine. And I didn't even, I didn't have it because for whatever reason I didn't really need it and I could function to a certain degree on just the creative wild, you know, I don't know. However, that's kind of where the moon came in. I think

at a time where I was like, okay, this has worked up till this point. But now something, I know. I need some kind of a teacher to get me, not even just get me in line, because that's not what it was either. It was more just about the rhythm of, am I coming, am I going? Do I, do I have energy that's, there's more than enough of so I can say yes to whatever project getting together, you know, whatever the thing was? Or do I need to be in a conservation mode? And that's so, I think at least for me as a mom or a lot of my friends I talked to. I was talking about this yesterday. The other day with some other friends and coach thing.

And it was like, do I have the energy for this? That's it. Right. Do I? Because for years and years and years, I was like, yes, yes. But in reality, I'm thinking like, stop, stop. Please don't do this. And stop doing it.

Right. And it's like until you hit that wall, right? And then you've got to find something. to be that that's replenishing but not always the same and I think for me that's why I love learning more about the moon going with the moon cycles because it gives you space to grow and change and cycle through different stages because that's just what that feels that feels supported yeah I'm just going back to that joy phase I think that it was like there's this moment this turning point in my own journaling and lunar tracking

around what if joy is possible what if I could actually have like a similar external experience happening and then is it something that I could choose you know I was just curious about that could I actually is this a choosing thing or just do some people just get to be joyful people you know when others of us are like more serious or whatever so it's definitely something that I've been playing with that seeing what things like carry over and then what things do shift around, around track, around that kind of what am I paying attention to? And the main things, it feels very mundane and very, like, non-glamorous. Not that people are looking for glamour, but I think with the moon, there's a lot of,

who will manifest anything you want in your life, and even the idea of, like, using the moon. I don't, and it's just a word, but the energy around, like, using something. how would I work with this to support whatever may be going on that of calling something in? And so developing that relationship. And I think that's maybe what I see a lot just online. And when I see other moon things, I'm like. And then, oh, am I doing it wrong? And then there's that sense of like, especially if you come to this like fairly recently and you're like, oh, am I doing this wrong?

Because X, Y, Z didn't happen. that or there's these like rules and regulations around it or feel it feels like there's rules and regulations around it when um yeah i just i don't need to have stress in my life no no and so it's almost yeah like being a relationship coach well how would you enter into any kind of intimate relationship like you would probably i don't know at least with working with the moon i think one of the things is like observing and being curious and maybe just even asking questions and practicing that noticing. And then on a daily basis, I just started tracking really, when did I go to sleep?

And when did I wake up? And I know there's apps. There's all kinds of things that do this stuff, you know, on phones and digitally. But there was something about that was a piece of rhythm that when I get out of, when that gets out of balance, early on, I wouldn't notice soon enough and I get sick. or something would, something else would happen. And now I can course correct because I'm actually making myself writing that down hours of sleep. And there's something about journaling, which you know because you're a writer of like when it's physical with a pen on paper and it's come through like your brain goes down your arm and your hand and you're making contact.

There's something that just registers in a different way than clicking an app or having the app track for you, I guess. as other. Yeah, 100%. And I think there's like, I've really gotten into like getting back to my love of stickers over the last year. And I like put stickers on everything because there's just like, 1980s me who like loved, you know, stickers on. So it's like, what stickers can I put in my journal? And like, and they don't have to have a reason for them. I'm like, I will just sit there and put like stickers on because it's just tangible. It's like this physical sensation, right? And giving yourself that space to create just for yourself, right? Because I also think that's something as both of us being like in the creative space. Do I have to be producing something all the time? And the answer is no.

Like I have to always tell myself, I'm like, I don't have to share this with, like, I don't have to share 90% of the stuff that I do. I'm just writing it for myself or I'm just creating something for myself. And I think that's been another thing that I loved. Like when I draw, like on the page, It's just like the circle and I would create. Like I had like a specific thing that I would do every month for like two years I did. And it just was like this beautiful crafty creative thing that I could do for myself and then go and look back at it. And I think we miss that sometimes when we feel like we have to be super prescriptive or just be constantly pumping out right content. Like we live in a world that's so content driven.

And I always say, I am not a content creator. I don't want to be a content creator. that sounds exhausting and not fun and I'm too old. My brain doesn't do that anymore. So it's really leaning into that creative space and what you said, the tracking. Does your creativity ebb and flow, which is what I responded to you when I heard your other podcast when I was literally sitting in the space of like creative constipation. I loved that.

And I was like, why? And then I listened to both the podcasts. I was like, oh, okay, now this all makes sense. And we forget. We forget, but we have to be. reminded and be gentle with ourselves. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I think that's the part of knowing our own energy, knowing our own cycles, which takes a little while and it takes because I don't know, I wasn't brought up or trained in some way to notice cycles. And even with the

menstrual cycle, I literally, I was just shown like, okay, put a red dot on this calendar. And I was like, I don't get it. I had no clue. I'm like, nothing, like, as if, there's nothing happening in between. It's just like the red dot and then who knows what and then here's the spread dot again. So this has helped me and actually with both of my, or my, my oldest, I have a 16, almost 17 year old. I have the wall calendar up and I will now do it for them. Just, I don't know, it's almost like what no one was able to do for me to help me to see cycles. And so with, yeah, with her permission, I'm like, okay, I'm just going to put, here's the numbers that I'm just going to write around this circle. Like, this is your inner cycle happening here within the lunar cycle.

And I feel like it's helped to have things like to at least people to tell when things are so called regular and when things are shifting. It's like, oh, that wasn't my, that wasn't like normal for me. Right. And how empowering is that to like, have like I wish like I honestly had no clue until I was like 26 or 27 and then realized like oh wow even though things feel normal I actually there's a lot of soup that's not and that created like a whole bunch of other stuff but like I did not want that for my for my daughter and so it was like how can I share some of this stuff age appropriate a little bit and build it out little by little

until she's older because I'm like I really wish I would have known about this stuff because how beautiful. I was always very, like for me, it was always this like hide it, being really ashamed of it, like for me personally, because I was like, I mean, not because my mom was, but it was just, I was very like, didn't even want to grow up, like, didn't want it to deal with any of this because I was young when it happened. And it was like, I just kind of wish that I had some of the understanding and how it tied into like, because maybe if I'm like, if I knew about the moon, like how things tied in, maybe I would have had a different relationship. but I don't know.

So I can do that for myself now, which I think that's what attracts me is like all the stuff I wish I would have had now or when I was younger, now I can do it for myself and be supporting. And it's still just as valid and beautiful. Yeah. I think that's a part of like the way I even, I think, see things shifting of things that are more talked about and out in the open in ways that it definitely wasn't at all growing up. me either um yeah i think having that visual i think there's something because there's all kinds

of apps right and it's there's nothing wrong with the apps but i also feel like there's something about out of sight out of mind and to have something especially like a wall calendar where it's just like oh i'm just reminded things move in cycles i'm just seeing that and then if there's like something that's being the thing that i'm noticing or paying attention to um to have there be reminders and I think that's just something about, I know I forget. If I look back at journals, I'll be like, wow, that was a lot happening. Like, that's a lot. I didn't even my own sense of looking back and not realizing that was all happening

simultaneously. Right. And seeing it, and I don't know, it gives, maybe that's a place of the gratitude that's felt in this way of, wow, okay, almost like, you can give yourself a break because that's a lot. and life is very full even when it sometimes feels like what's happening what am I even doing there's something in the hindsight that's like oh wait when will present me realize and always like looking back that things came together what I might have been worried or anxious about

even every year when I produce the calendar there's this feeling like is it going to work out is all the stuff going to come, all the things that need to come together. Is it going to come together? I'm like, really, 11 years? And I still have this same question. So this year, I actually was mentioning to a friend of mine who runs circles for moms. And she asked me to come and be a guest.

And I told her, I was like, it's getting to be the time for launching the calendar. And she's like, oh, how can I help you? And I was like, oh, that's so sweet of you. I was like, I just feel this dread about on my end, the responsibility. and the communication and all the pieces just instantly she's like well your dread is my excitement so just know i'm excited i'm over here being excited and i'm like oh right okay i was like almost like that choosing joy piece of like yes it's there's lots of manage all the pieces and when i say that that's like it's a very capricorn word which is my capricorn son of like i'm managing i'm managing

the things. I'm a Capricorn. Yeah. I was thinking about that this morning. I was like, even astrology aside, being born in the winter, man, there's just like a melancholy, I don't know. I love winter. It's not even anything like, I love it. But there's, I'm like, is that where the, that kind of heaviness, seriousness, the gravity of things? I just think about sometimes that. Sometimes that, connection, you know, whether it's astrology or whether it's just like temperament or what it might be seasonally. Yeah.

Well, I think that's the key word here, seasonally, is that we've gotten so far out of living seasonally, right? And, you know, just talking like, I have my own personal thing. Like, I really have spent the last, like, a couple of years trying to figure out how to better live seasonally. when things felt unpredictable, but I knew like, okay, well, summer's not great for me. So what do I need to, like, summer's not my high energy time. I know it's like this fire. Summer's like low energy for me.

And that's okay. Like I don't particularly, I'm not like having all this fun time in summer. I'm really not. Like probably because of where I live, I live in a very hot and humid climate, like in most of the, for most of the year. And so I'm like, I don't like it. But what, and again, going back to like ancestrally, like what? could I do supportively that's doable for now and live seasonally and be okay with it and just surrender right there's a level of like surrendering to that that's been that's been huge a huge shift

of like I don't have to keep on that same energy path 24 hours a day seven days a week 12 months out of the year like we keep like we had been told my whole life so that was a big aha moment when I started studying the different, like the moon stuff was, that was like, oh, okay, this makes more sense. Yeah. And there's something about then how do we communicate that? Because I think, like you said, the expectation as like, whoa, you showed up with all this energy yesterday and you're, you know, like, why isn't that consistent?

And I think especially just even for myself in the home. And then extending out with, you know, friends and in work, like to just, describe that in a way that isn't seen as a weakness or isn't as seen as like just will like rise to the occasion and drink coffee or I don't know what things that then end up you know at leading to the burnout so that that I like to think of it as like that cyclical language or the language of cycles when it feels like too much how to be able to like it's almost like speaking up for that part of ourselves that's cyclical that has different seasons and different needs at different times.

And even just explaining that, oh yeah, well, I feel like whatever the thing might be, finding a new recipe or making something that's more involved in like spending time doing that, feeling that way at certain times and then other times being like, no, there's pizzas in the freezer. Sorry. That's right. That's right. Yeah.

And being. Having that language, maybe. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. And I think that helps us not feel like, I think you even start like this like energizer bunny, this like, this machine like because we are not machines. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, I wonder. Anything else for the noticing and the tracking? I'm even just thinking because my baselines really are the. the hours of sleep. I feel like that determines like if that's out of balance or if that's whatever, like that's going to determine so many other things related to energy and related to mood. And another thing that I read this book that's totally geared towards like the high end entrepreneur at the kind of corporate level.

But it had some very interesting insight that I've started to apply. and actually I was color coding. I'm going to show you, even though this is just an audio conversation. Okay, so color coding. This also has stickers. This also stickers that I made from emojis of the dragon. So I was tracking like a meditation practice with this dragon.

And I just printed it on label paper and like cut them out. That's genius. And so then there's this color coding. And the idea in this book, which is called it's 10x is easier than 2x. I don't know. I haven't heard about it. I mean, it's definitely got that, yeah, high-end entrepreneurial tone with some things I'm like, okay, with a grain of salt. But it was very interesting because it looks at what are some of like athletes or performers or people who have times.

And this is definitely for someone who is able to, who's maybe working for themselves or can have the ability to make their own schedule. I was talking to my sister, who's, she's a nurse. And she's like, well, this, I mean, that's great. But I, you know, I have, there's certain things every day, like that how the rhythm of our day is and like how that's determined. And so I've been playing with it because I do get to, you know, work with and deciding when things happen. So there's these four different kinds or like types of activity. One being the like the performance, the on time.

And that may be like recording a podcast that may be giving like giving a presentation or a workshop or a class or something that like it's coming to it with like energy and there's other people involved and it's being on. And so as a performer, right, that would be like the performance, the race, whatever. So I am color coding this, right? So I did yellow for that one. And then there is the like working behind the scenes. So like the backstage days of like writing the emails or having the correspondence

or the setting and maybe more like the admin type stuff. And I color coded that orange. and then there's like the downtime, the rest recovery off, right? The one that's like, how. A breathing space. And yeah, working like when I was teaching and full time and like working all day, not even nine to five, but like until I went to bed, having weekends, there's this, well, everything then has to happen then.

That's like the old. But having, you know, being able to schedule and see like how much. And this, I feel like Homs and part of my wanted to talk to too, and especially with that the creativity piece of it is how much downtime are we able to have? And how does that connect when how much time are we like not trying to create something or produce something? Okay, so those are the three. I do purple for the recovery and rest. I sort of, that's my color to associate, even with the new moon, like the cave, like the dream time space.

Anyway, my brain works that way with colors. And then the fourth is exploration and rejuvenation. So that I have as green because it feels a little more like the springtime energy of, you know, even in creativity, right, of if I can just wander around a bookstore and like open this book and look at this one. I mean, or a library. Yeah. The whole experience of that. And maybe like could I have an hour of that? Could I like within the schedule know that my creativity and my all of that

thrives on just having no agenda. I'm not looking for particular. I'm not researching sort of but in a looser kind of a way where it's not for like an article or something specific that I need to find out a specific thing. So that's the green and that kind of, yeah, whatever activities. And so this is what I'm thinking with the lunar tracking and with the creativity is really even for all of us knowing what are those activities that go into the category of exploration, rejuvenation.

What are the things that are like the performance that the on when we know like, these are the things in my life that I really, you know, what other times might sort of build towards and so that I know like when I'm on, I'm on. And then the downtime rest recovery where it's just no emails, no trying to take care of business, but actually, actually stepping away. And then the daily stuff that just keeps it all keeps the communication happening or whatever the behind the scene stuff is. So those are the four that I started to kind of ideas that sort of like blocking it out

ahead of time if and when possible. And why I'm even doing this is because I will mix and match all of these. I will do, like, record a video and I'll do, I try to do a bunch of emails and then, you know, I'll like sit down to have a cup of tea and like, okay, is that enough downtime? You know, and so in one day, mixing and magic all these things,

and over time, what I found then is that to really have the creativity that I know can flow through me, If I am mixing and matching all those things, it just doesn't, it doesn't happen. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I just was like, yeah, that makes so much sense. And when I work through like my flow concept that I have for my self-care, I've recently just was like, how can I pair the lunar cycles with the like with this flow thing I've been doing for years?

and I actually was like, oh, this makes sense. Again, cyclically, seasonally. But what I love what you said is that also we can't, we don't have to get caught up and like, okay, it's the new moon. I can only do new moon things and have new moon energy. Okay. So like maybe we can just, we can hold it in one hand that yes, there's new moon energy, but also maybe today I'm like tired and don't want to have like all this newness with me.

And like both of those are okay because we're using. things as tools we are still human. And I think that's the biggest thing, like, a aha thing for me because I'm such a rules follower. Like, I want to do it. I want to do something right. But like, that's just not realistic. So what you're saying is like when you're looking and you're looking for patent and you're looking for color coding things, I think when we get to like say the end of the week or the end of the month, it's like, oh, okay, well, I see how that worked. Even though I may have felt tired, I still had to, because you still have to show up and do things, right? Like you can't.

just not do things, right? And so I just, I think that just gives us some flexibility within a bit of a structure, which I know that I need. Yeah. Exactly. And exactly what you said, and I think this might be the hardest part for even someone who's just starting to learn about lunar cycles is there does seem to be rules around what you are supposed to do on the new moon. And even I in the beginning was like, okay, I kind of have that little part of me that's like, oh yeah, you're going to tell me that, that I have to, you know, be in stillness or do this or that. And I will even share some of those things sometimes because, yes, it's like, it can help to create that ritual and rhythm around pausing, clearing the decks,

whatever, and just getting still and listening. But what I found over tracking is sometimes there's some new moons where I'm in such that like on where it's all coming like fast and furious and if I was to say well no I'm supposed to be quiet and not to I'm like no the muse is there like this idea it's happening and it's like going to come through or else it's going to pass through and not you know it's like catching the I don't even know how to describe it because it's very intangible but it's like it's like almost like getting on the train of like here's this energy I'm going to get on go with this and the times that I've felt that come at the new movement.

there has been this little voice that says, well, no, this isn't like new moony thing. And once I let myself have that permission and actually see all of this lunar tracking and just cyclical awareness can help us get to that kind of present moment awareness, like you were saying, of like, am I saying yes because this is a yes and this is like, I want to get on this train? or am I saying yes and everything in my body is like, no, please don't. Just like, you know, wait another week. You're like, find another time, but like, please, you know, not now is to get us to a place where we can make choices and decisions from the awareness that comes from paying attention

in this way. And what I found is that the lunar cycle can help us pay attention because here's something that's just constantly changing. Yes. And so if you blink, then it's, then the moon's in a different phase altogether. And so it's almost like, okay, here's a way to pay attention. And then finding our own rhythm and energy that I just see it in the space too, even in like menstrual cycle awareness stuff around like how to get your bleed to happen on

the new moon because that's like the natural way right i just reject that like all together just all together because that just feels like this other form of like a perfection that if my body's cycling and it's and it's working and and the patterns that i've noticed are like i will bleed on the new moon and then six months later it'll be like on the full moon and then or however it works it's it's constantly sort of in this like shifting and flux and that I don't need to change anything about that. Right. It's not right.

You're not doing anything wrong. Your body doesn't need to be fixed and changed. And you can also honor both things up the same time, right? You can know like I may be in my winter time right now physically, but like and it may be seasonally. It's summer outside. It's okay. It's like, okay.

You can make it work together. And I think that's kind of been one of my big. struggles with. I was talking to somebody about like when we start commodifying everything that we do. I was talking about it from the lens of like being in like menopause paramountable. Like if we start commodifying every little single thing about it, well then we're going to start feeling and thinking we have to fix and change and we can't sort of lean into it. It's already hard enough as it is like without being told like so many different things, right? I never want to presume I can be understand what someone's like physically going through

the bi-mentally and emotionally. I can just be empathetic and be supportive of it, but never claim to be like, oh, this is your answer. Like, I don't like it when people tell that to me. I don't want to hear that either. Yeah. Right. What are the helpful things of suggestions to explore if that's, you know, what I got to a point

where I was like, I was so low energy. And I just thought I was tired because I was a mom and like, And I was like, well, sometimes, like, I have so few vices. I mean, I gave up caffeine and, like, and alcohol and, like, all these kinds of things because energetically and physically I just could see that it wasn't contributing to my well-being. And so I'm like, what's my one thing? I will stay up late and do creative projects.

Once everybody, once I can actually focus, nobody needs anything from me. That's my, like, one thing is like, sometimes I will, like, I'm just going to let myself do this thing and I know it's going to take recovery period afterwards because, you know, sleep is just essential. That's the thing that I notice cyclically that I will, yeah, come up that could potentially lead to depletion. Where I was going with this is, hold up, because you had said something about not presuming to know what somebody needs. And I'm trying to think how I'm like, tracing the thread of getting to this place. I don't know.

There it goes. Relatable. Yep. It'll come back later at some other point. Like, oh, yeah, that connected to this and this way. Yeah. This has been fun to just think about how, how, like, at different seasons or stages of our life, like, what it means, like, what is. is it that we're noticing and paying attention to and and how is it a daily kind of practice like

what the moon can teach us and being curious about it and allowing it to shift because it doesn't it's not going to be one thing you know for start from start to finish whatever that whatever start to finish is yeah there's something endearing like for me there's like something so endearing and inviting about that like when I think about like I just was thinking like befriending and tending to like a relationship that that I can have with something that's just also just for me I find like I love the just one on like the one on oneness of having a relationship like talk like with like I with the moon like what is like the one on one because I'm so extroverted and because I coach and talk and right like so it's very outward energies

but what can I do just to have that like one on oneness um with something. that just feels just for me, you know, even though I know everybody in the world can look up and see the same moon, but it can just still feel something that's just for me. And then how can I, as you said, like, what can I notice? What can I track so that I can feel rounded and centered and my best self for me where I am today, not for like what I'm going to be in a year or whatever. Like I love that and I love that it changes every day just and you have to notice, right? Because sometimes It's just so slight. And what if we just applied that lens to like every other things in our lives?

Like instead of just always like big big huge picture or like down in the weeds, there's like all this in between. And so I think that's what I would love to like invite myself to do more other, you know, whoever's listening to us to do more. I think there's something really beautiful about that. Yeah. There's that subtle shifting that go unnoticed or. make sort of a big jump, kind of like, how do my kids grow up so fast? Right. When there's that tracking and feeling into some of the subtle shifts that sometimes

do make big jumps, you know, for ourselves or if we have children or we're just like the people in our lives of like when there's undercurrents of something that's like, oh, this has been here all along. It's just been like a whisper or it's been quiet. Things get louder. Like if you don't hear the whisper, when they don't have their whisper, things get louder. And now I remember what I was talking about

because that was the whisper. It was the whisper of my energy of thinking, like, I'm just a tired mom who sometimes stays up and does create projects. It finally led me to find out that I was extremely anemic to the point of needing to get iron infusions and all of these things that I had never, I don't test myself regularly.

I'm just kind of like, well, things are fine. It's fine, it's fine. But there was enough of this kind of, of undercurrent of like maybe something. Maybe I should just, you know, oh, there's this other way I need to tend to myself because of the iron that's just barely at the baseline low outside of the scale kind of thing. That's like, okay, well, that's where somewhere where my focus and attention needs to be on, to support my energy.

And then once it gets going and I'm not like extremely anemic, I'm like, oh, I will stop taking the supplements and doing the things because I'm like, oh, I don't, I feel great. I don't feel like I need to do that daily. And then guess what? There's this delay. Two months later, I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't even get my. Oh. And then it's just like, and that's the piece that's different for everybody, right? Like, not everybody's extremely amic. And I'm super grateful that I just, I know that that has to be on my radar. Right. Right. to be able to just even rise to the occasion of life in the small ways.

But that sets the stage in the baseline for any of the things I'm talking about with the color coding and the performance and the being on is like if some of those baselines sleep, like nutrition and stuff aren't even there, then it's kind of next level to think about taking on another project or something like that. Right, right. And then you get frustrated at yourself. like, why can't I do this or do that or whatever? It's like, oh, I'm not drinking water or I'm not sleeping or I'm, wow, if I look back

over the other, like I had like almost no energy or my stress has been highlighted for me. I was tracking like last year. I was like I had a little symbol for stress and I could see like there was like two months straight where almost every day was like stress. Even though I was doing other things to tend to myself. And that helped, but I could still see a clear and present pattern right there. And so again, I think it's just empowering. Like, it's a very empowering thing.

I know people like, oh, I don't have time to do this. I don't have time to do this. Well, you don't, I think you have to make time. Like, you have to empower yourself, right? Because no one's going to do it for you. That's always one of my messages. When I'm I'm talking to people, like, no one's doing it for you. No one's coming to take care of you.

Like, I was joke with my mom friends. I'm like, oh, mother, sit down. Let us, like, draw you a bath and make you, like, no one's doing that. I mean, my kids are not doing my way. Like, you have to say. I'm slowly training. I'm training my kids because I'm like, you know what, my mom needs some tea. Can you go put this in the, can you go turn on the hot water?

Like, I'm training them because it's true. Yeah, those little things to empower yourself. I think even just a basic journaling practice, just spend, you have five. I was talking, you have five minutes. You have five minutes. Yeah. Yeah. And yet five minutes, that was my very first intention with this.

calendar of I will sit for five minutes in silence every day. And I even wrote because I'm like, I know with goals you're supposed to be specific. At 645, I will sit for five minutes in silence. It took me almost two years because I didn't have anywhere to sit. My kid, my, I was potty training, my youngest, and they would come and like, they would not mess it up. They were being, whatever, two year. A three year old. However, how old were they? They were young enough to get into my stuff and I didn't want my stuff. Oh, totally. And so it took a rearranging just to get that five minutes of meditation. And I was, it took, it took two years. But now I'm in a place where that's the foundation is there. Yeah. Maybe that's the thing as a longer term. Like, there's going to be some

things that like the foundation that maybe a lot of things got, need to be rearranged in structures and dynamics and whatever to get to that five minutes because it seems little, but I know in the beginning for me, I was like, wow, how does anyone, how is anyone else? How do you do? How do you do this? I mean, no. And it was the moon. I will say, like, it, no, there wasn't anything else that really almost like held my hand to be like, okay, keep, you know, the cycle's going to keep going and you can just pick it up and you will be held within the cycle and just continue. And I think that's why intentions are helpful. It's like, what's my guiding light?

Like, what am I even moving in the direction towards? Like, what am I wanting to move towards? Right. And not just feeling so out of control of like, I'm spinning and just, I just got like this vision of like the Tasmanian devil. Like, kind of like the cartoon was like all over the place because it can really feel like that. But again, it's like. calling back in just five minutes to center, to breathe, to like look up, just look up in the sky, right?

Even just go step outside, take a look up. Yeah. And that's the question, that curiosity of where is the moon right now? Because the moon's in the day and the night sky and it's, it actually is equally balanced between daytime sky and nighttime sky. And so it's going to be different every day. So that's, I feel like that's for anyone who is just starting out or curious is like just that question of where is the moon right now it's like a little scavenger hunt

sometimes i feel like it is right it's so fun like and that's the thing is like you can put things like it's all and it's going to be there which i think i also love right like it's just something you can count on right it's like it's reliable and i think that some of us don't feel like we have things that we can always rely on um or we or we're the ones that everybody always relies on And so we need something to rely on to like, yeah. So I just, that's why I love it. Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

Thank you for this conversation. I feel like it's what's so helpful is I feel like some things get just clarified and crystallized by talking through. It feels like there's just even more like of the clarity of why it makes a difference. Why it's worth, why it's worth the five minutes. Yes. Yeah, absolutely. It was an absolute, like I said, privilege and honor. I'm a big fan and I cannot wait for the 2025. Yay. Oh, my goodness. Yes. Yes, me too. Oh, well, thank you, Vanessa.

Welcome. If you haven't already ordered your 2025 New Moon Calendar Journal or Lunar Wall Calendar, those are available in the shop. And you can use the code Lunar Flow to receive 10 percent off. All the links are in the show notes. So head on over and order your calendar. The pre-sales will begin shipping in November. Thanks again for listening to today's episode. Between the Moon is a listener-supported podcast. If you haven't already, please consider subscribing or writing a review. These are ways that help this work reach more people. And if you'd like to access all the episodes as well as bonus articles, head on over to Substack. That is substack.com backslash at Between the Moon to see ways that you can support this work.

This is April and I'll be with you next time on Between the Moon.