Betwixt The Sheets: The History of Sex, Scandal & Society - Santaphilia: Sexual Attraction to Santa

Episode Date: December 23, 2022

How long have people been hoping for Santa to hurry down their chimneys for?Whether it’s because he’s a bear, a dom or the ultimate daddy - in this episode we’re discussing attraction to Santa and Father Christmas.Listen as Kate takes us through Santa’s more sordid history. Then, to find out why people might be attracted to Santa, she speaks to NHS Junior Doctor, Psychosexual Therapist in Training and Sexual Wellness Consultant Elesha Vooght.*WARNING there are adult words and themes in this episode*Produced by Charlotte Long and Sophie Gee. Mixed by Anisha Deva. Betwixt the Sheets: The History of Sex, Scandal & Society. A podcast by History Hit.For more History Hit content, subscribe to our newsletters here. If you'd like to learn even more, we have hundreds of history documentaries, ad-free podcasts, and audiobooks at History Hit - subscribe today! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Sign up to join me in locations around the world and explore the past. Just visit historyhit.com forward slash subscribe. Hello and Merry Christmas, my lovely betwixters. How are you? I hope whatever you're doing this winter holiday, whether it's Yule or Christmas or Salis Blessings or Hanukkah or whether you're stripped naked and cavorting around a pagan bonfire, whatever it is you do, I hope that you are having a damn good time doing it.

This is your festive fair do's warm. warning. It's a lot like the other fair do's warning, but I want you to imagine it with tinsle on it and possibly some bubbles. Right, here we go. You are warned. This is an adult podcast with adult themes spoken by me who is an adult speaking to another adult about adulty things in an adulty way. And actually what we're talking about today is we are, I don't know why we're doing this, but we are. We are talking about people who fancy Santa and asking the question, is Santa a sex symbol? Yes, we are going there. Childhoods will be ruined by the end of this, but we're going to do it. So that's what we're talking about,

sexual themes in a sexual way, and it's going to involve Santa, and that might just be too much for you to listen to, in which case, get out, stay on the good list, and for the rest of you, committed, naughty list, betwixters. Let's get into this. Hello, and a ho, ho, from me, Kate Lister, welcome back to Betwix the Sheets, the history of sex scandal in society. Today we are thinking a lot about Santa. St. Nick, Father Christmas, Santa Claus. Who is he really? Well, let's break him down.

He gets to decide if you are on the naughty or the nice list. Are you a naughty boy or a good girl? Hmm. So he's a daddy, really. And he has a really, really big sack. My producer wrote that joke. I just feel that I need to say that at this point. This doesn't need to be any worse than it already is.

Oh, okay, he has a really big sack. But basically, Santa, when you think about it, this disciplinarian daddy figure who's deciding whether you are naughty or nice, I'm just going to put it out there. Santa is the ultimate Dom. Yes, I said it. This time of year, people are feeling happier, colder, hungrier,

and possibly, possibly hornier. Actually, there is research that bears that out. people do enjoy spikes of hornyness round the winter holidays, whether it's, we've just got time off or we're a bit drunk than usual. We're not quite sure, but it's definitely a sexy time of year. Unfortunately for this episode, Santa was unavailable for comment. It's a very busy time of year for him. So, in lieu of Santa Claus being able to explain himself, I will be talking to Alicia Vute about why people have a crush on Christmas's main man. But first, before we get to that, we need to look at the history of Santa. What do you look for a man?

Oh, money, of course. You're supposed to rise when an adult speaks to you. I make perfect copies of whatever my boss needs by just turning a knot and pushing it. Yes, social courtesy does make a difference. Goodness, for beautiful time. Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie. Santa Philia. Yes, that's a real word. I didn't just make that up. It's one of the vast parapherias and quirks and kinks in the huge spectrum of human sexuality that includes things like people who are turned on by bits of wood

or people who are turned on by insects or coprophilia. You can look that one up in your own time. But santophilia is a real thing. And in order to understand how Santa can be sexy, we need to try and get into some of the history of Father Christmas. And I am so passionate about this subject that I am going to talk to you about this myself. Well, the first thing that we've got to try and understand is that Santa Claus, ho, ho, ho, bowl fuller jelly and all that stuff, and Father Christmas,

they're one and the same today, but they actually derive from two distinct figures with very separate histories. Santa Claus is an American derivative of the Dutch Sinterclass, a name for St. Nicholas. St. Nicholas, jolly old St. Nick, was the bishop, of Maya in Turkey in the 4th century. And he is officially recognised by the church as the patron saint of all kinds of things, including sex workers, which is one of my favourite Christmas facts. He's also the patron saint of students and merchants. And I think there's over a hundred things that he's the patron saint of, but he is the patron saint of sex workers. And the reason for that is the most famous story about St Nick is him giving three impoverished sisters dowries that would allow them to get married and thus saving them from having to go on the game. The figure of Father Christmas is different. He's a different person to St. Nicholas and he has a lot more of assorted history. The earliest evidence that we've got of Father Christmas

is a 15th century hymn by someone called Richard Smart, who was a rector of Plimtree. And from there, Father Christmas starts to crop up in all kinds of ballads and plays and poems, where he tends to be a jolly fat figure who is associated with partying at Christmas and debauchery and general naughtiness. There are even early descriptions of Father Christmas as being something of a sex symbol. He's this kind of figure of wintertime misrule and debauchery. For example, in the 1646 text, the arraignment, conviction and imprisoning of Christmas, we are told that, quote, women don't after him. He helped so many of them with new gowns, hats and handkerchiefs and other fine knacks, of which he hath a pack on his back,

in which is a good store of all sorts, beside the fine knacks that he got out of their husbands. And he isn't just called Father Christmas. He's also called Captain Christmas, the Christmas Lord and Prince Christmas. And this figure kind of turns up around the winter solstice, and he's just there to have a party, to have a good time to give people presents, people are getting drunk, The wives clearly love him. Have you been a young girl? Despite modern threats that Christmas has become too commercialised and has lost its original meaning,

I am here to tell you that that has been the case for as long as people have been celebrating this particular festival. That even the oldest records talk about how no one's taking it seriously, everybody's drunk and using it as an excuse for a piss-up. It is as much the part of the Christmas festivities as anything else that you can think of. As far back as 1580, a guy called Philip Stubbs was moaning about this very thing. He said that more mischief is that time committed than in all the year beside.

What masking and mumming whereby robbery, hordom, murder and what is not committed. What dicing and carding, what eating and drinking, what banqueting and feasting is then used. More than in all the year besides. To the great dishonour of God and the impoverishing of the realm. And to be fair, that sounds like an absolutely cracking Christmas party, but that is not what the Puritans thought when they took over the reins of the country. Not only were they not keen on partying, hoaring, murder and mumming, but they just didn't like Christmas, and they famously attempted to ban it.

And as the figurehead of the winter celebrations, Father Christmas was at the top of the Puritan hit list. Of course, as much as the Puritans tried to ban Christmas, they weren't successful at it. People liked Christmas. They liked partying, they liked getting drunk, and the Puritans attempting to ban it. It was met with about as much enthusiasm as it would be if somebody tried to ban Christmas today. The people just weren't having it, so parties continued, people were still misbehaving,

and there was plenty of pearl clutching that went on. So of course, when Charles II, the merry monarch was restored to the throne in 1660, Christmas and all of its celebrations came with him. And thankfully, Father Christmas, Captain Christmas, or the Prince of Christmas, managed to survive the Puritan Purge. And they were celebrated in pamphlets and poems of the day as Father Christmas was back again. Hurrah!

But this is the figure of Father Christmas, a winter figure of debauchery and misrule and having a good time and misbehaving yourself and wives getting a little bit carried away when he flashes them a handkerchief or two. And right up to the 19th century, Father Christmas was described as wearing a green-hudded cloak and carrying a wreath of holly, ivy or mistletoe.

And if that sounds familiar to you, it may be because Charles Dickens brought the figure of Father Christmas to life in his ghost of Christmas present, who is also wearing a green coat, carrying holly, and is there to have a damn good time. Father Christmas managed to survive the Puritans, but when the American Santa Claus,

a derivative of Sinterklaus, was exported to Britain in the 19th century through books, postcards and advertisements, the two figures merged. Captain Christmas shed his wild ways and settled down into the beloved, child-friendly figure that he is today. But, as we will see, Father Christmas or Santa Claus never really did shake off that sexy image.

It's still there bubbling beneath the surface. Does that make you feel uncomfortable? Yeah, it probably does. But think about it. When Arthur Kit was singing Santa Baby, in that sexy voice. I mean, come on, that's sexy. Santa's sexy. and that was in 1953.

And that song was so sexy. It was actually banned in areas of the southern United States. Then we've got songs like I Saw Mummy Kissing Santa Claus, 1952, Tommy Connor and Jimmy Boyd. It's not explicitly rude, but I mean, it's suggestive at the very least. I'll be back after this short break with my chat with Elisa Vute, who'll be telling me why people find Santa sexy. Over on the Warfare podcast by History here,

we bring you brand new military histories from around the world. Each week, twice a week, we release new episodes with world-leading historians, expert policy makers, and the veterans who served. From the greatest tanks of the Second World War. And so what are you actually trying to get out of your tank? You're trying to get maneuverability and you're trying to get a really big gun. Your tiger and your pamper there to dominate the battlefield,

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and I think that's what the Ukrainians should signal today too. Subscribe to Warfare from History Hit, wherever you get your podcast, and join us on the front lines of military history. Hello, and welcome to Betwixt the Santa Shoe. and Elisa Vute, how are you? I'm good, thank you. How are you, Kate? I am so thrilled to be talking to you about this particular mad subject.

Oh, what is our lives? Right, so I'm talking to you about why Santa's sexy, about people at Sancy Santa. And in your capacity as somebody who studies psychosexual therapist, sexual therapist, you seem like a reasonable person to ask this question. Is Santa sexy and why do some people think he's sexy? There are lots of different reasons to find Santa sexy. You know, we can take it all the way back, go very Freudian with it, and talk about the fact that, you know, Freud says that humans have the capacity

to find anything sexual, even if it doesn't fit in as socially or culturally appropriate. But more so than that, Santa's a figure that's been around since childhood. He's a sign of stability. So when we sit in unprecedented times, like we have, done for the last two and a half years. Santa is a sign of consistency. He is someone that has been in your life since childhood. And he has turned up every year.

I'd never thought of it like that. Yeah. He comes with a sense of familiarity. He also comes with a paternal aspect. He is somebody that will bring you gifts, will care for you, will watch over you. And that's where we start to see the other flip side of it. That actually Santa's quite a dominant. character. And a bit of a voyeur. He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake,

which assumes he knows what you're up to in bed. Oh my God. So, filthy purve. I'd never thought of it, but he does give Big Daddy energy, doesn't he? Absolutely. He is like the definition of a polar bear dillf, I would say. So, and you know, we've got these new movies coming out like Violent Night. What's that? Violent Night is. the new film that's coming out this Christmas, and the main character is just like pure dillf energy. He's the guy that plays hopper in Stranger Things. I can't remember the name of the actor. So it's like this sexy Santa that has to blow things up to save Christmas. And it's like, where is that idea of Santa come from? God, never thought of him like that, a dillf. A dillf. Or a

filth. Oh, God. Help me. Just coined a new term there. And I suppose it's like the idea of discipline as well That he punishes you if you're naughty Exactly and it's obviously a really Common kink to be told You know oh you're a good girl or you're a good boy Or don't be so naughty Within sort of BDSM and Dom subculture

That that's them building up on it There is a reason in December Suddenly in places like Pornhub Searches for Santa or Christmas themed pornography shoots up is because, again, humans love familiarity. Santa's everywhere. So suddenly you're a quake, your other half, calling you a naughty girl with Santa telling me

that I'm going to be on its naughty list. And, oh, suddenly you can start to see how those two things are adding together. I can. And that's what brings it in. And we crave novelty as a species. We like new and fun and exciting. So actually just trying to build all those things in,

doing something that's a bit risque, but actually quite safe in terms of kinks. that it brings us into this really interesting space that it's quite actually an accessible kink that people can enjoy. And then there's the whole sitting on his knee business. Yeah. Just now I'm actually thinking about what we're actually doing with this.

Yeah. So since childhood you're invited to go and sit on this big, strong, but gentle man's lap who's monitoring you at all times. He sit on his knee, go snuggle into his chest, go tell him your deepest darkest secrets. He creates this sense of safety. And if you're good, he'll give you a nice present. Yeah, exactly.

And as we get older, those messages obviously translate into, oh, actually, I'd quite like that in a sexual partner. Wow. Oh, my God. It's so true. And we don't even need to get into the, like, you know, the Dubontondondra's of emptying Saxon coming once a year. Down your chimney, yeah.

Oh, God, it just writes itself, doesn't it? From a history point of view, it's quite interesting because the medieval figure of Santa wasn't like the Santa that we know today. He was like this kind of like Lord of Christmas Misrule and he was associated with naughty stuff. But people didn't sit on his knee and he didn't like hand out presents to good boys and girls and all that stuff. So like the modern Santa, like when you've just said that, it absolutely does feed in to sort of dominant, submissive BDSM. Absolutely. Oh, Santa.

Santa, what are you doing? So I think it's pretty common for around this. time of year, we see sexy Christmas outfits. Maybe not Santa. People just kind of aren't used to looking at him in that way, but it's definitely there. But like, you know, the sort of the sexy Mrs. Claus outfits. What's that about? Is that novelty as well? I think so. And I think it's that sort of next level on, I imagine there's an element of having something you shouldn't have. Mrs. Claus doesn't belong to you. That's true. She's somebody else's. And Santa works really, really hard. He's a big strong man and he just needs somebody to look after him.

And so you've got that trad wife element to it as well. And again, it's that flip side of a Dom Saab master slave relationship that actually it's like, I'm going to look after you and care for you because you've done such a strong, hard job. So that kind of can play into it as well. Plus, anything can be sexy in thigh high boots and a lot of red velvet. It's very true. Do you think as well, it's like sort of, sort of, I don't know if I'm reading it too much but like we like to find things ironically

sexy like a sexy nun or like a sexy like the sexy schoolgirl trope but all of that is like that you're not supposed to think that that's sexy and do you think like the Santa stuff feeds into that like it's naughty for us to think of it like that? Yeah exactly and even more reason to end up on the naughty list

you know it's something we shouldn't do and therefore you get that little rush of dopamine and you're like oh yeah that feels good and again because it is in a safe consensual manner, it is a very, you know, healthy way to explore a fetish because, you know, as long as it's legal, it's consensual and it's safe, then you've got nothing to lose with that. So actually being able to do something naughty without it actually really being, it's best of both worlds. That is, isn't it?

Get all the dopamine and dolphins. Yeah, presents. So if anyone's listening to this and they think, God, I do have a bit of a Santa kink, actually. and maybe it's something they've been sort of like quite ashamed of and just like a bit embarrassed. What advice do you have for anybody tuning in with that kind of thoughts? It's completely normal. There was a hold on a couple of Christmases ago that apparently 48% of women find Santa sexy in some way. Yeah.

So it's completely normal, you know. And as we said, there are so many positive attributes about Santa, whether you're into the Dom Subdynamic or not. or even if you just like the idea of a big, strong, hairy man, that's your type. Polar bear, like you said. Yeah, polar bear, silver bear, yeah. I love that. Now I'm thinking about it. Christmas is quite a sexy time.

Like, there's sex kind of woven through it in all kinds of different ways. Do you see that in other things, like stuff like Advent calendars or like the commercialisation of Christmas? Are these sexy things? I mean, now companies such as Love Honey are doing sex toy advent calendars. Are they really? I hadn't seen, I mean, sometimes when I'm on TikTok, I see people with like, advent calendars that cost more than my card is. Yeah. I'm just like, wow. Wow. But I hadn't realized they're a sex toy. Of course there are. Yeah. Yeah. Love Honey's the

first one that comes to mind. I'm sure there are definitely other companies that are doing it. But, you know, this idea that a little naughty treat for either you or they do gender-specific or partnered ones, you know, so actually it's it just about you? Is it about sharing with somebody else? So that naturally feeds into it. Most of the big sexual wellness brands will do Christmas sales. That is true. It's about staying warm, gifting each other, lots of about massage oils. There is definitely going to be candy cane flavoured lube out there, you know.

Which, I have a flaky boat, but you know. What Christmas flavoured lube would you like to say? It'd be weird if it was like turkey, wouldn't it? That would be an art. Turkey, yeah, stuffing, yeah. That would like, no one would buy that ever. that would just be the worst. Like mulled wine maybe.

That would be quite a nice one. That'd be quite nice. Yeah, I was thinking that like Clementine. Oh, see, this is why you're much better at this than I am. That's clemented. That would be perfect, wouldn't it? That would be lovely. The first thought that came into my head was, oh, sage to get the old demons out of there, you know.

Did you imagine producing that? I've been like, yeah, it's sage because I need to exercise your genitals. Oh, God. Oh, you've been so much fun to talk to. And it's, I think that we can say that Christmas is a sexy time. What do you think? I think Christmas is definitely a sexy time of year. Yeah.

And Santa and sexy just fit together so nicely. In a very weird but very real way. Yes, absolutely. Embrace it. Oh, thank you so much, Alicia. You've been an absolute joy. And Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to you, Kate.

Thank you for reaching the end of this festive episode. And thank you so much to our guest Alicia for explaining to us while there may be people out there who hold a flame for Father Christmas. Happy Christmas to all you lovely betwixters. We won't have an episode on Tuesday, as it's a bank holiday for us here in the UK, but we will be back with a vengeance next Thursday, with the legend that is Ronald Hutton. I can't wait for this.

Honestly, I'm so excited. And he will be here to talk to us about what kind of parties the pagans would have been having at this time of year. So, mead at the ready. Get your kid off and I'll see you around the bonfire for some Muletide celebrations. See you then, lovelies.