BFFs with Dave Portnoy, Josh Richards, and Brianna Chickenfry - THEO VON AND THE BFFS ROAST THEIR AI ART — BFFs EP. 108

Episode Date: December 8, 2022

We are joined by Theo Von after he and Dave ran into each other in consecutive weeks and talk Liver King getting busted for steroids, Cardi B getting paid $1,000,000 for her 35 minute Art Basel performance, Kanye's latest antics accusing Chris Paul of getting with Kim Kardashian, Kanye having to pay child support to Kim, Paddy the Baddy's potential fight against Jake Paul, NYC offering $170,000 for a director of rodent control, GMA cohosts getting caught in an affair, and Cocaine Bear the movie. We also get into artists getting mad about AI art online and go through our own AI art, and finish with BFFs corner where Avani is not happy with Josh's comments, Harry Jowsey denying last week's Tik Tok from Charly Jordan being about him, and Grace's upcoming fight at Rough and Rowdy on Friday. Support Our Sponsors! Raising Canes: Celebrate the holiday with Raising Cane’s! Order online at https://barstool.link/RaisingCanesBSS Betterhelp: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to https://barstool.link/BetterhelpBFF for 10% off your first month. HEYDUDE: Go to https://barstool.link/HEYDUDEBFF and use code BARSTOOL for 15% off. Cannot be combined with other discounts. One time use per code. 15 item limit. Must enter code at checkout. Not valid on previous purchases. No rainchecks. Too Lost: Take control of your music at http://too.fm/barstoolYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/bffspod

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That's the lady, huh? She's up there. So when it shows us's the lady, huh? She's up there. Her name's Carolyn. So when it shows us on the screen, you're going to see it looks kind of weird. Yeah, that sucks. Yeah, but it gets filmed on that camera. It gets filmed on the camera.

So that's not what it's going to look like. It's not going to look all like fucking, yeah. It's going to look great. I like that shit. It's that ISIS shot. Yeah. It's the fucking Al-Qaeda, dog. What if we had to do a podcast in order to get

freed by al-qaeda we have to like get a certain number of subscribers how that'd be a good script for a movie that would be a good script for a movie actually dude if we don't get to 11 and you got like a countdown it's only like 400 subs yeah it's not a lot yeah this would be this would be what the room looks like that you streamed podcast out of yeah 100 man that was the joke i was making bro yeah yeah i got it yeah we're good all right rundown you're good in your end josh yeah we're good over here right man yep yep all right rundown uh bffs fuck yeah another episode podcast not the rundown. BFFs, Theo Vaughn, welcome, special guest. I feel like I'm seeing a lot of you.

I like that jacket. That's a Jeff Gordon jacket. Yeah, this is Jeff Gordon. It's not his jacket, but they made it. It's based on him. No, I get that. We're going to do that game. What is it? I mean, obviously, I know that's not jeff gordon's jacket oh okay yeah i

didn't know you know and you guys fighting already no no i like the oh but he knows that i know that's not his jacket oh i don't know what you know but you know that i know that that's like a jacket you buy oh this one i didn't buy it right. Where'd you get it from, then? No, I got this. A lady gave it to me. A lady gave it to me, and it had a note in the pocket, too. What'd the note say? It said some kind of like, not sensual, but stuff about dating or potentially dating or

kind of long-term relationship. It was like a, I don't know what you call it. A pickup line? Yeah, yeah. It was like a pickup line, but it was like a long one don't know what you call it. A pickup line? Yeah, yeah. It was like a pickup line, but it was like a long one in a note. Did it work? I don't know. I don't know.

I like the jacket. Did you ever hang out with her? No, I didn't. So, no. Yeah, it didn't work too well. It didn't work too well. By the way, before we started, you two were talking. You are weirdly, like, lit right now. I'm not. Yeah, talking you are weirdly like lit right now i'm not yeah

you guys are like yeah but it's it's not it's not actually like that it's it's like we can't get the we can't get it to look good on the macbook and the camera at the same time so we just said fuck what the macbook looks like as long as the camera looks good for so theo see it. So Theo, I overheard, had like an idea for a podcast in which you guys, well, sound like held hostage until you get a certain number of subscribers. Yeah, we get kidnapped somewhere. So I was saying this footage right here, if you can see this shot, it looks like we're stuck in like an Al Qaeda and we have to podcast and get a certain number of subs so that they'll let us free. That's not the worst. And it reminded me because, believe it or not, I got some trouble back in the day. So we used to do like a concert tour.

It was called Back to Stool, and we didn't sell nearly enough tickets. So I believe, if I'm not mistaken, Paul, Paul who works for us, I put a hood over his head and held a knife with Arabic behind that said Back to Stool, the name of the concert. And if we didn't sell enough tickets, I was going to kill the concert. We weren't going to do it. So I've kind of done that concept before. It didn't work, by the way.

Nobody bought it. No, it didn't drive any sales a little scary no no no people still see arabic on the old office like there'll be pictures of it what is that it just was the name of the concert tour anyways welcome theo i don't know that you need an introduction i feel like everyone kind of knows who you are let's just go through then the topics right off the bat. Starting with Liver King caught taking steroids. I don't know why it's on there. Obviously, the dude took steroids.

Yeah, I thought that was kind of surprising. He didn't take steroids. But did you know it when you looked at him at first? Did you know he was doing steroids? Of course. Yeah. Yeah, I think right away

I looked at that guy and went, that's a guy that's juicing. Yeah, he was like leaking steroids. Yeah, he think right away I looked at that guy and went, that's the guy that's juicing. Yeah, he was leaking steroids. Yeah, he definitely is. Why would you lie about it? I think maybe he was trying to get people to buy liver or something. Well, yeah, he sells the – first of all, I'm not really even familiar with like is this in the scheme of like uh a list to f list like he's number one on our topic sheet which is kind of bananas to me like i never was like oh the

liver king's a huge deal is he like a big deal they should be one on this sheet it was a pretty big deal that he was doing steroids i saw it pretty much on my phone all for the last week that's all yeah that's crazy well didn't he go around like saying he never touched steroids in his life that's why it's like a big deal but yeah look at this fucking picture i mean look at him eating that liver how can you can't be that big i don't know he looks like a crunch yeah um my friend said he smells like a tackle box i have yeah yeah Yeah, I've heard he was stinky. Yeah, I heard that like birds land on like birds.

If he's outside, like birds come and land on him. Yeah. Like Cinderella kind of? Or just like a lot of nature comes and gathers by him. Like if he's at a zoo, it's fucking chaos in that bit. He doesn't wipe when he poops. Oh, man, that's sad. You know, that's like a, I think it's a part of Stockholm Syndrome or something, isn't it?

It's got to be. What is the exact definition of Stockholm Syndrome? I don't know, but I can imagine they don't do that. I don't know. So is he like, again, why are we talking about him? Is he like some fucking huge ass? You brought him up. Well, yeah, no, but I don't write the sheets.

Oh, my bad. Austin writes the sheets. Yeah, he, no, but I don't write the sheets. Oh, my bad. Austin writes the sheets. Yeah, he's big. It's a massive story, yeah. Correct. Why? Because he's huge. Because he promoted, yeah, he promoted that like he lived naturally.

All right, but number two is Cardi B paid $1 million for 35 minutes. Like, Cardi B is a gigantic star. Like, I'm not going to blink when Cardi B is listed on our sheet. Yeah, but Liver King would beat the fuck out of Cardi B, I think. Oh, if they had a death match? I'm definitely picking Liver King. So it depends on kind of, I guess. Actually, you may be right. Cardi B kind of strikes

me as somebody who can, like, obviously a guy's going to beat up a girl, but I do not think she's somebody, like, if you're all puffed up a girl, but I do not think she's somebody like... If you're all puffed up on steroids... Yeah, can you even move your arms? I used to do steroids. Could you move your arms still?

Yeah, I could move them. They fucking looked beautiful. I moved them bitches all over. How long ago? Let me think. Probably maybe 15 years ago or something. How long did you do them for? I don't remember.

I mean, I just did. People were just doing them. And my buddy, he was like a prize fighter. He was like a homosexual prize fighter. And we would do them. He got me into them. You got to work out, right? Like, you can't do steroids.

Yeah, like you guys were working out and doing them. You got to lay around. You got to work out as well, I think. Dude, we were never laying around. I didn't know him like that. We were just friends. No, I'm not saying you slept with Guy. I'm saying that, like, you know, you got to lift some weights while you do steroids.

Oh, yeah, no, we were lifting first, and then we got to steroids. Yeah, if you start with steroids, that's not a good way to go in. You got to start with weights. And then we were just doing, like, Mexican steroids. I mean, the shit we were doing, it would be like, you'd want to lift, but you'd also want to, you know, you'd want to, like, you know, you'd want to damn buy a sombrero. Like, this shit was hella Mexican, you know?

A little Corona action, maybe action maybe yeah it was good yeah yeah yeah papa corona lime in there yeah you would definitely yeah you'd be uh you'd be doing kind of like a single to miles kind of like around the corner maybe get us i would actually not around the corner if i it's not around the corner it's in may i mean what are we in now december it's sort of around the corner it's's in May. I mean. What are we in now? December. It's sort of around the corner. It's a big corner. Yeah, it's a big building. Well, I think you got to start doing steroids like leading up to.

You don't just wake up. Oh, for Cinco de Mayo. Cinco de Mayo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, if you want to get jacked for like Mexican jacked or something. Yeah. I don't know what the best kind of jacked is. Like what ethnicity jacked would you want to get jacked for Mexican jacked or something. I don't know what the best kind of jacked is. What ethnicity jacked would you want to get?

Black jacked? Mexi-jacked? Do you want to get like... Asian jacked? Jew jacked? Asian jacked? What's the best jacked, do you think? Mexi-jack. Mexi-jack sounds fun as fuck.

I will say that. It almost sounds... It kind of sounds like a... Mexi-jack kind of sounds like a cheese. It sounds that it almost sounds kind of sounds like a mexico jack kind of sounds like a cheese sounds like a cheese yeah it does yeah i was trying to think of it um anyways cardi p back to cardi b this i guess someone chirped her because she posted like a picture in a banker's backyard and someone's's like, what's she doing being naked in the backyard? She clapped back. She got $1 million for a 35-minute show in an elite banker's event during Art Basel. Good money if you can get it.

A million bucks for 35. Sticking with Art. Were you here for Art Basel? Was anybody? Were you here, Josh? Someone told me. Yeah. I was there.

What'd you do? Went to a Doodles event and then went to 11, and that was it. I was there for like a total of 12 hours. And what is a Doodles event? Like a pet thing? No, it was an NFT thing. Oh, damn. You're still doing those?

That shit is bullshit. I'm sorry. Oh, it's... You weren't here, Theo? I would have thought you would be. I feel like you're kind of like an everywhere that's happening guy. That's my impression of you. No, I kind of slip around in some different slopes.

I think I just don't do that. That thing sounds a little too fancy for me, kind of a little bit too much. I loved it. Did you? First time, I live in Miami. Oh, okay. Well, what is it like, I think? Tell me what it's like, and then. Well, I like it. Did you? I live in Miami. Oh, okay. Well, what is it like? Tell me what it's like.

Well, I like art. So for the first time here, I went to one of the exhibits, and there's just all these – it can be small artists, big artists. You just walk through and look at all their art, which is pretty fucking cool, to be honest. Did you buy any art? No. I have a couple pieces. I thought about it. I took a picture. I this like cp3o

thing i'm a star wars guy that's cool there's a lot of cool shit i don't even know how you decide like the thing with art like you need places to put the art you know it's like i i don't know how much art can one person buy you got like a mansion though yeah you got a pretty big home no well it's not ready so it's like it's hard to like picture it you know okay and then there's all sorts of parties we went to uh the party where um travis scott played 50 cent played it was like in a guy's backyard oh that's nice that's the kardashians were there it was every a lot of famous people seem to be there um they also have this atm that I don't understand this.

Me neither. I saw this. Doesn't make sense to me. So you put your ATM and that puts a leaderboard of the richest people, basically, who have inserted their card. So Diplo is number one. I don't. What do you kind of just takes a picture of you and then shows everyone that

walks up to the ATM how much money you have in your checkings account with a picture of your face. Seems like a bad idea. Crazy. Just walk up and figure out who's the richest one here and then go rob them. Take their wallet. Diplo was the number one guy, according to Diplo. Moving on, Kanye, he's been all in the news. So we'll start with you, Theo.

What's your point of view right now on uh are you a con were you a kanye guy i don't think anybody's a kanye guy now but were you before i wasn't like a huge kanye guy but i liked some of his stuff um yeah i don't know i wonder i just wonder how bad like his mental health is you know like i wonder how much of this is spurned by he's not mentally well at this point because I think that's becoming the most obvious thing. Yeah. I mean, he's obviously said a lot of crazy stuff, right? No doubt.

Yeah. He said things that upset people. See, I think he's been a cock for over a decade, and people always make excuses for him. This is the most inflammatory, but he's pretty much been a fucking dickhead for a long time and people always make excuses for him. But if you go back, you can pretty much every year for the last, I don't know, 10, 20 years find pretty good examples of him being a grade A jackass.

So like, you know, some guys are just jackasses. Now he's gone extreme with like being a Nazi and jackass so like you know some guys are just jackasses now he's gone extreme with like being a nazi and all that shit i will say i spit out my coffee at the end of it when after saying all the inflammatory shit right before he got kicked off of twitter his last tweet was let's break one last window before we get out of here i caught this guy kim with kim good night and it's i don't even know where he got the picture of Chris Paul, but it's like there's so many pictures of Chris Paul on the internet, and he found, like, it looks like an old yearbook photo. And that actually is what I think sometimes draws people back to Kanye

because he is, like, even in the height of it's a manic episode, whatever, he's funny. Like, I don't know that he's meaning to be funny, but just to throw Chris Paul under the bus out of the clouds. And that became the story. That's what everybody was talking about. She denied it. By the way, I don't know if it's true.

I didn't think Chris Paul had that type of game. But what do I know? Yeah, I wouldn't expect that. I've seen his game. He used to play in New Orleans. I mean, he's never won a championship right i like it i but i think yeah how much i wonder how much of the guy is like even like you're saying he has this weird thing where he's like always seeking like you know using kind of like negativity or to seek attention i wonder like

how much of that obviously is him mixed with. If something mentally is just he's gone off a mental ledge at this point. Well, there's no coming back from the guys he's hanging out with. I mean, he's hanging out. The Nick Fuentes guy is in. I don't know that guy. What? I don't know that guy.

He's bad news. He's somebody you don't want to know probably. He's said some pretty racist, extreme shit about everybody. Yes. By the way, side note, talking to you, I've said this before, it gives me Caleb vibes, like our Caleb Sunday conversation. All right, what's going on with that? You guys going to have a podcast or what?

Well, look, I think you're the man that we should ask. I would love to do something with Caleb. I mean, when the guy's not faking his own death and trying to kill, what's his name, Thick Rounds or whatever. Who's he trying to kill? Glennie Balls. Glennie Balls, yeah. Oh, Balls.

Caleb flies him to a city. Here's what happens. I've seen this kind of thing before. A lot of men would do this with their wives, with their first wife. They would take them to a city, get them all fucked up or whatever, shoot some content with them, and then leave them there. And then the person stays there and gets just whatever, sexualized, drugs, alcohol, all of it.

You're saying this happens to balls? I mean, everybody's saying it. I've heard it. Have you heard it? I've heard it, yeah. It's starting to get around a little bit. Yeah, it's made its way to New York, too. Yeah.

That balls is being sexualized. That's why I was hard at the OnlyFans thing. Drugs, alcohol. It's projecting. He's getting fed it. He's sexualizing himself, I'm sure, a little bit. That's for sure. Imagine Balls as the Gimp from what is that movie with the Gimp

with the Tarantino movie? Pulp Fiction. Just Balls as the Gimp. I could actually see that happen. But Balls would have fun doing that. Well, no, he's having fun. I'm just wondering when does the Grim Reaper show up with that invoice? Because he's definitely stacking it.

Kim Kardashian got $200,000 in child support. I don't get this either. Doesn't Kim have as much money as Kanye? Yeah. I thought when I saw this headline, it was kind of crazy. Why? Because you have to. Why? Isn't that like the law? When you get a divorce, it was kind of crazy. Why? Because you have to. Why?

Isn't that like the law? When you get a divorce, you still have to pay child support. When you make a certain amount of money, you still have to give your partner money. Well, then that's a dumbass law. Why? Why would the mom have to just pay for everything

just because she's rich? He's rich too. Give me some money. No, I don't think it's that he wouldn't pay for his kids. It's that he's paying Kim the $200K a month, right? Like it goes to Kim and then Kim uses it for the kids, right? Yeah. Well, first of all, $200K a month.

That's how it works. It's a lot of money. Yeah, that's a shit ton. Like, I don't know. You don't think that's crazy? So let me ask you this, Brie. But that's like... I'm going to ask you this but that's like I'm going to ask you a question

no one's normally that rich though so obviously the rich people you're saying it's the law and you could be right but let's say that I don't know let's say it's Kim Kardashian is married to Glennie Balls Glennie Balls has to pay Kim Kardashian

child support yeah it's going to be in my meters I'll tell you that Glennie Balls. Glennie Balls has to pay Kim Kardashian child support? Yeah. It's going to be in my meet-ups, I'll tell you that. Right? But, like, he still would. They need to quit giving money to those people. When does that start to happen? Like, when is there, like, a...

That we just have to stop giving money to that family? We've given that family almost as much as Ukraine. Like, we just cut off allowing that family to make money is what you're saying. At a certain point, I think you should cop out. TV, social media, all products. 200 million Kardashian is crazy. And by the way, I think Kanye takes care of it. Kanye needs it.

He still loves his kids from everything. I don't think that bridge has been broken yet, so I'm sure he's happy to. I don't know. It just seems crazy to give somebody who has unlimited money more money. Who fucking cares? Yeah. It breaks my heart. Patty the Patty and Jake Paul had a little back and forth.

I don't know where we're at on this, and obviously I'm a Patty guy. I'm flying out. Are you going to be in Vegas for Patty's fight? Yeah, I think I'm going to be there. That's this Saturday, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm going to be there as well. We're going. We have a busy day we're doing rough and rowdy which you're doing the the stream with right i think so i've seen your face in the flyer so he's probably doing it

we'll see oh he gave me a little thinking about it he's like are the numbers not right what's going on are you doing the stream no i don't. I didn't make that deal. I don't know. I just got put on the flyer, I guess. I don't know. Shaub. It's Shaub. It's your face. Who are the other two faces on that flyer?

Do you know the flyer I'm talking about? It's Joey Diaz, but he got replaced. And then Ray Payne Jackson. Is Theo's face still on the flyer? Yeah. Plastered all over the flyer. I don't know a lot about this. I will look into it, though.

I appreciate it. You appreciate it? It wasn't through us. Oh, well, it wasn't through me. That's what I'm saying. We're being sex trafficked, bro. I don't know how this is happening son that's so do i have your permission to just put your face on any flyer than i want yeah look i'll take the pub but i didn't do it uh now rough and rowdy and that's where you guys just get just

and these are just amazon drivers and stuff and what they just beat each other tell me more about it yeah yeah yeah so it's like the real brief story i stumbled upon rough and rowdy like i don't know at this point 13 years ago i was captivated by it they had these little youtube videos look like wwe wwf at the time like promos of these guys but i'm gonna beat the fuck out of this guy. Chainsaws. I'm like, all right, I'm going to fly down and see what this is about. Fell in love with it. Fast forward, like a decade later, we bought the company. So now we do them ourselves.

We've done a bunch of them. They're great. They're like 20 fights. You never know what you're getting. Super entertaining. And we announced it. So it's me, Big robbie fox announce it and then um we're doing you you are doing a side stream with it so if what you can watch it and then you announce it

or comment kind of like the manning cast you know for yes again yeah so you shop all those guys it's gonna be great so are you doing a live stream of it too? Where they announce this for the actual event. Which people will be able to watch live? Yeah, they stream that. And you're going to watch it live, Theo, and people can see you commenting on it. But how do they watch two things at one time?

I think what they would do if they were interested in you is they buy your stream and ours, turn the volume down on ours, watch it, but listen to you. Oh, dang. Yeah. Wow. And Grace O'Malley is fighting in it. Yeah. My best friend's fighting in it. The Mick O'Malley.

Yeah. How's she feeling about it? She finally, I wasn't allowed to talk about it for the last month. Every time I talked about it, she told me to stop. And now she's excited. She's going to win by a knockout. She's fighting the, what is it? The Punisher.

The Crawfish Punisher. She's fighting. Ooh. Yeah. Or the Cajun Punisher. Even more scary. Yeah. So actually Theo might be on her opponent's side

the cajun punisher that was my fucking spelling teacher dude yeah um because the cajun i mean it just i'll tell you this they should have people that are on different antidepressants fight each other so we could see what the best uh ssri is i think We've probably had that. It's quite... And we also have a vlog squad. We can do the data. Person fighting. I think Dobrik may be going to the fight. I'm not quite sure.

Josh is coming, too. I'm walking out, actually, with Grace O'Malley. Oh, nice. Yeah, we're walking out. I'm part of her walkout. Are you really? Oh, yeah. I'm going to get her hype before the fight.

And are people drinking lean and stuff? What kind of audience is it? Yeah, it's lean. There's definitely lean lean for sure. In like 40 ounces. Like 50%. It can vary. We're in Providence, so it moves backwards.

West Virginia, this is Providence. But yeah, it could be a little. Is lean purple drink? Purple drink. It is. You got to say drink. Purple drink, Providence. I bet you didn't think I'd know that.

I did. Oh, dude. My buddy used to work. He was a manager at Chuck E. Cheese's, right? So we'd go over there after work. We'd drink a bunch of lean, and he would put the band on high speed. Dude, it was crazy. He would put it on the highest speed it would go. He could do free.

The band could play Freebird in a little over three minutes bro wow what exactly is purple drink it's just i think it's like a i don't want to say native american and i don't know what terms are okay to use now but it's like it's kind of an urban it's's kind of like a Memphis condiment. I don't know what you'd call it. That doesn't, I'm still lost. It's like, it's cough syrup. That's what I thought it was. Yeah, but it's like the square root of cough syrup.

I mean, it's right there. It's that molecule. Yeah, it's all extracted out of it. Yeah, it is like somebody fucking just had a cough deep in their fucking brain and they wanted to get that bitch you have a frog in your throat kind of thing just take that i guess pour it in a drink uh back to patty and jake paul so jake paul offered patty a million bucks so i'll see you i'll see you saturday then theo i'll see you friday josh and brie and i'll see you saturday theo um jake paul offered patty a million to spar after patty claimed jake's fights are rigged uh jake paul tweet em dear patty pimlet you claim

my fights are rigged stop calling the goat anderson silver criminal and come spar me you win i give you a million i win you join ufa That's his fighters association. I didn't. I didn't. Obviously, I'm a Patty the Batty guy. I didn't see the original tweet. But if he did say the fights are fixed, that's fair play by Jake Paul to challenge him. I don't think this will actually happen. But who fucking knows?

Do you want it to happen? I kind of would want to see that. Yeah, it'd be good to see. Patty would obviously win, win right or no way i don't know that he obviously would win no he wouldn't you don't think so patty patty would i don't think patty would beat jake in a fist fight if it's only fists oh i guess that's true he's ufc yeah i don't i i think it would be pretty close but i j is a boxer. Patty is an MMA guy. He is a pretty good striker. I have no idea.

I think size-wise, they're probably fairly comparable, at least height. Jake may be a little broader, especially now that he's cut down. I definitely don't, and I love Patty. I don't get the Jake Paul fights are rigged. They're just not. I don't know how anyone could say they are he may not be picking like the best boxers to fight he's definitely not but they're definitely not rigged he's winning these fights fair and square so i don't know where that's coming from

yeah but he's fighting kind of people that i feel like are on the edge of they're like kind of leaving their sport is he fighting any real g's he just needs to get in there with a good Mexican fighter. I'd like to see him fight Ryan Garcia or somebody. He would get it. But then that's what happens, bro. That's fighting. That's true. Right.

Why would he ever do that? That's the end of— Maybe that's what Patty means when he says it's rigged. You're fighting people that aren't even good. He's making smart decisions to fight people he knows he can win against. Yeah, but he's fighting, like, semi-senior citizens and shit. He's fighting, like, you know, people that are, like, on the doorstep of a retirement home.

Yeah, a bunch of, like, you know. Yeah, he's not fighting boxers. He's fighting MMA guys. There's no doubt about that. But if I were him, I wouldn't do it. Like, what you're talking about a little bit, Theo, is, like, do you have an inherent, like like drive to prove that you're a great boxer? In which case, if you do, you got to fight a boxer.

He's just making bank, which is. I can't fault him. Like, yeah. Yeah. And he's. I mean, look, the guys, the guys is a boxer. I don't think after watching him at this point, you couldn't. Anybody couldn't say he's not a boxer.

You know, I mean, I mean, the one thing about Patty, Patty's in his prime. Patty, unlike the other guys, so that I like nothing would shock me if those first of all, I don't know what that means. Who wins a sparring match? I don't know how you determine that, but nothing. Let's say they actually boxed. Jake winning wouldn't surprise me. But let's say they actually boxed. Jake winning wouldn't surprise me, and Patty wouldn't. If they had boxed like eight rounds, I think Patty would win.

I think he's probably in better shape. He could do it. But, I mean, sparring, I don't know. But nothing would shock me with those two because he's still not a boxer. What about this, though? I had this question I forgot to ask you because it fell out of my brain. If Kanye wanted to do a podcast, would you give him a podcast no no right now i want it no because to me he's and again it's for everything i'm jewish the like there's no amount of money when someone's being like yeah i think hitler was a pretty cool dude like i'm like

no thanks i don't there's no amount of money where i want to help that guy out or put money in his pocket or advance his career at any it's so disrespectful there's there's he's crossed lines that i i can't personally come back from so yeah no no um we talked about it. I mean, like what? Not him. Caleb, speaking of him, I remember it's I don't want to say similar, but we talked about like O.J. for like Sunday conversation. And I think I said he could do it if he wanted. But that's another one. Like, if you think O.J. killed those people, I think most people do. Yeah. Even O.J. thinks he did. Yeah. Like, seriously, giving him a platform. If you think OJ killed those people, I think most people do.

Yeah. Even OJ thinks he did. Yeah. Like, seriously, giving him a platform. Sometimes you're going to be like, imagine being the fucking family, like Goldman or something. Like, you're kind of making joking around. It's disgusting to a degree. But that one I did. I think I left that up to Caleb, if I recall.

Yeah. It's like, how much do you want to offer the devil? Kind of, you know? Yeah. Right. Like I, would I interview Kanye? Yeah. Like that's a little different, but being like, Hey, here's a podcast. No, I, I, I wouldn't do that. This show is sponsored by better help. So unfortunately life doesn't come with a user manual. So when it's not working for you, it's normal to feel stuck. Navigating any of life's challenges can make you feel unsure, whether it's a career change, a new relationship or becoming a parent. Therapists are trained to help you figure out the cause of challenging emotions and

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Artists are upset with new AI art that has been going viral because artists are pissed that their work has been ripped off and recreated by AI. Who are artists, though? Yeah, who are these artists? I think they're just like people. Like painters? Online? Oh, so like, yeah. People make these paintings

and then people's faces just get put into them. So they're like, that's my art. We have ours. Copyright is... Yeah, we have ours. We have my... Let's see our...

I don't really get what we're about to see. We're going to see an AI of ourselves. I keep seeing these all over Instagram. I think we even have one of yours. We made an AI view as well. Oh, I've never seen it. Yeah, so basically you put in a bunch of photos

of you guys and they recreate a bunch of categories. Can you print mine? I've got to actually get something for my mom. It's a good gift. Christmas is coming up? Yeah, she would like it. I think she likes the future. Okay. Yeah, so there's like 10 categories so it's basically just like like these ones are called adventure ones these are your four

so these are adventures of us no it's just oh i look fucking awesome damn you have two heads yeah why does the other two heads that's crazy yeah because i got two dicks that's why i play a damn why y'all looking at the negatives on me yeah you know how much business i can get done when i'm also my assistant at least i don't understand why he had one of those earphones somewhere what i don't understand why does josh just look normal yeah that just looks like that's not fair bro yo guys i'm just already ai created she got shot in the chest yeah i'm wearing weird headphones. Josh is just normal. Yo, I look good, though. Yeah, also, I want to say this.

Everybody looks good somehow, and then... Not all of them look good. There's some other ones. Yeah, but first of all, Josh is obviously a bot, dude. He's obviously a fucking Decepticon. Shorty right there looks like a missing person from, like, 1989. She looks like she should be on a milk carton. You do look like that. Look, if she's on a milk carton i'm making yogurt homie

i'll tell you that dave looks unfairly like he's part of top gun he does yeah and then so what button got hit by mine bro because i'm out here i got an overbite and an underbite. How do I have both bites out here? All right, next. I may make that my fucking Abby. Yeah, I'll take that. My mom would like it, actually. Oh, there we go.

I mean, Theo and Dave don't really look anime. Nah. Look. Listen. I like this game. Every picture of me. Bree, you look anime as could be. Dude, look, I'll draw you in my room, honey, all right? I'll tell you about that.

I look like I could get it. Karate Kid, you look like you're in the Karate Kid, like fucking one of the bad guys, maybe. He's cross-eyed, though. Why am I wearing the same jacket in every one? I don't hate it. Karate Kid. You look like you're in the Karate Kid. Like fucking one of the bad guys, maybe. He's cross-eyed, though. Why am I wearing the same jacket in everyone? I don't hate it. You kind of look like you're just Top Gun again. Yeah.

Yeah, obviously someone's trying to keep their job. Whoever's making it. No, there's some bad ones. Dude, I like it. I'm looking great again, though. Yeah, I'm happy with mine. I don't know what's coming the way Austin keeps getting. Don't worry.

Don't worry. Don't make me nervous. It's fucking really. I look great again. Oh, God. Jesus Christ. Dude. Oh, my God.

Breathe. Breathe. You are not a real person where they can't get you. I may be. Yeah. When an alien looks in a mirror or like there's no soul. They just can't capture it. Yeah.

You're not even close the way you look. No. Look at that face. Highly sexualized. You got that astrology, it. You're not even close the way you look. No, look at that face. Highly sexualized. You got that astrology, baby. Damn, baby, you look out there. My God, I would fucking jump into that damn warp puddle. Theo looks like nothing like himself.

What do you mean? I look like a guy. I look like something that Neil deGrasse Tyson would fuck. Look at Dave looking at Theo. Yeah, there we go. Look. He's thinking about me and Caleb's podcast. That's what he's thinking about.

And how do you look like you're just made out of Maybelline, dude? What the hell are you, bro? I don't know, man. This is crazy to me, too. Yeah, you look good. Josh, you look like an actual one of those cartoon shows, like an actual anime guy. Like you could be Spider-Man.

Oh, thanks. Dude, what gets me is they keep putting, oh, they got more. Sorry, go on. I'm sorry. Oh, that's, Theo did good on that. Oh, yeah.

About time. And Josh looks like shit and still looks good. This thing's rigged, yeah. About time. And Josh looks like shit and still looks good. This thing's rigged, bro. I kind of look like Zeus. Yeah, you look like, I don't know. A Greek god. I don't know, man. I don't know if you've got the Greek god look.

You look like Carl Lentz a little bit, too. Is that a cross necklace? I tried to give him. I tried to give Lentz a podcast. And what happened? This was before all the shit went down with him. When he was like just the really good looking pastor guy. Sexy pastor as I call him.

I don't know. He had a lot going on. It almost happened. I like Carl. I think, yeah. I mean, yeah. He just, he, what he dealt with adultery, right? He'd been dealing with adultery. Yeah. It's tough though. It's tough when you're the pastor to be that like, I mean, he just – what, he dealt with adultery, right? He'd been dealing with adultery.

Yeah, it's tough, though. It's tough when you're the pastor to be that – I know. Like a lot of people, oh, adultery, you probably don't blink, but when you're the sexy pastor and that's your job, it's tough. That's a tough one. Oh, it's the pastors. Yeah.

Let's look at the – yeah, let's see. Oh, dang. Am I on a toilet? Huh? Why did you – I'm just like a porn star. Yeah, you're porn in every one break. Yeah, what the fuck?

It's kind of hot, though. Yeah. You're also kind of deformed and all. Yeah, look at that face. That's deformed. But hey, I like, I've been, you know, deformed ain't it? You know, it ain't that bad for a lot of broads. Yeah, that's true.

I kind of look like I'm in the... Your eyes are piercing in this one, man. It ain't that bad for a lot of broads. Yeah, that's true. I kind of look like I'm in the... Dave, your eyes are piercing in this one, man. Yeah, you look captivating eyes. Yeah, you look like a... What's the... Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings. I look like a little guy in Lord of the Rings.

Like a hobbit. Yeah, like if they showed the rest of your body, it would just be real little almost if they showed it. Josh, this is... That doesn't even look like Josh. This is... They just took a nap on this one. body, it would just be real little almost if they showed it. Josh, this is – I don't know. That doesn't even look like Josh. This is – they just took a nap on this one. Yeah, that's just a headshot of Theo in space.

Theo just looks like, yeah, this is his senior year picture. No, I look like one of those pictures of somebody, like a cross-eyed guy that died in like a car accident, like on the side of a road, and they put that up like by the cross, you know? You have a cross-eyed in every picture. Yeah, what's going on? I have noticed that a couple of times too. am i cross-eyed and nobody's telling me all right i don't know what's going on now yo is he holding a rifle what is that a gun what is it it's completely in a tambourine guitar and a tamb the tambourine what does it say pat pat it's a guitar that shoots

bullets you got a sick band name pat pat that's cool yeah that is a good name you look like kind of like a sad wistful country singer or something yeah i'm not a rock star at all. No. Like a suicidal girl. Like Dalton or something. You just look like you just, or, you know, you kind of look like you're at like a Microsoft conference or something. You look like you're overheating. It's like a headshot of you.

What does that mean, Brie? You just look like you're overheating. What do you mean? I feel like it looks like you're about to faint. Damn, dude. I think I look like really fucking good, if we're being honest. Yeah, no, you look great. No, don't.

But you just look like you're going to faint. Are we looking at the same picture? See, this is what's interesting about how guys think about how they look at themselves and what girls think about us. Right. I'm very happy with this picture. And you're saying I look like I'm overeating and about to faint. I don't know what Josh is like.

Josh is like Edward Scissorhands a little bit. Yeah. Or I was thinking the guy from Dune a little bit. Oh, yeah. Timothee Chalamet. Or one of Johnny Depp's daughters. Oh, yeah. All right. Oh, yeah. All right.

Oh, another. Oh, we got another. God, there's a few of these. This is fun. Oh, Jesus. Oh, God. Dude. Animated.

Breeze just looks like a whore. God. Well, let's don't say that, dude, but we would like to get to know her. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Theo hasn't gone again. Yeah, he's in a space alien. Yeah, because I ain't taking no more shit from you guys that's why dude see i'm wearing the same fucking jacket these

aren't related not at all no the why am i wearing the same like they just they associate you with that jacket dave yeah they can't change you i don't care. They keep making me look super handsome in these, so I'm down. Why do I have space down syndrome? That's what I want to know. You cross-eyed again. Cross-eyed again, yeah. Those are my eyes. Bro, this is rough, man.

Bang. You know what got me cross-eyed? Looking at them tits. Boy, I'll tell you that, bro. Oh, that was space exploration. No, this is space exploration. Jesus. How was the last one not space exploration? Now I'm back, baby.

Bree's a joke. They just give a... This is crazy. I'll tell you what's happening here. The three of us have gone on a mission to land on one of them tits. I'll tell you that. I can't tell if Bree's is because all girls like that or just because Breeze's IG photos. No, my tips are not out on Instagram.

Breeze, do you have something wrong with your chest in the middle where they keep putting bullet holes? Yeah, there's like a bullet hole in my chest. I don't think so. Dave, I'm going to be honest with you. I didn't even notice the bullet hole. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know notice the bullet hole. Yeah. Yeah, no. I don't know what's up with that.

Somebody might have just dang skied it at point-blank range, too, homie. Theo has another weapon in his hand. Yeah, baby. Look. It's a dangerous game. Look, I'll tell you this. You're protecting me. That's the spirit, babe.

There's three men and one of you, so we got to figure it out. That's why I got that blade on me. Daddy got that space blade. Stylish. Dude, am I picking my nose? Wait, what is up with your fingers? Dave's in Delray Beach for some reason. Josh, what do you do?

You just be handsome? That's do you do? Do you just be handsome? That's all you do? And why am I blind? You kind of look like Brad Pitt. I was about to say that too, Dave. He looks like Brad Pitt. Then they covered up the cross eyes. Yeah, that's why.

They put the glasses on you. Dude, my guy is blind. Oh one more oh god oh superhero oh yeah so josh gets to be james bond is that what's happening here yeah it seems like it yeah what's superhero my huh uh i think yeah like athena or something yeah you're the garden of eden and i'm mr m McGregor, baby. You know what I'm saying? You look like neat Josh Black. Portnoy finally takes off that space suit, and we get to see what his body looks like.

Looks like he's in a keyhole. Yeah. It looks like a thumb is my finger, though. Yeah, you look like one of your parents is a candy corn. And my guy, obviously, is having a back spasm. Yeah. Yeah, yours is really interesting. My guy looks like he's about to walk in a room, but he heard some people fucking in there.

So he stopped. All right. That's the AI. I don't know what. So why I absolutely don't get what artists are mad about, though. They're mad that they take their pictures, and they're pretty fucking different, no? I think they're mad, basically, that it's doing their job for them. People don't have to commission a painting.

They can just put their photos in this thing, and it makes it for them. Yeah, that's crazy. I think there's a little difference. New York City is offering $170,000 to kill rats. And NYC has a rodent problem. Officials looking to combat it by hiring director of rodent mitigation.

Base salary, 120 goes up to 170, I guess, if you kill. Who would want to do that? Where do you put all the dead rats? Keep them in your heart, baby. I'm the damn rat king. I'll tell you this. You're never going to get rid of them,

and that's what you get. Some of the bad energy coming out of that city, you get ratted up. I don't want to kill rats. Would you rather rats or cockroaches in your house? Rats. Big, big rats. Why? Why?

What would you do, miss? I think I would do cockroaches. Oh, damn. All right. Big rats? I could do would do cockroaches. Oh, damn. All right. Big rats. I could do mice. Big rats are scary. Yeah.

And I want to apologize, too, about talking about your tits so much. I don't even know you. Well, those weren't my tits, though. That's okay. That's the spirit. Yeah. We're the AIs. Hold on.

You guys continue. Take a call, man. We'll be fine. My car got stolen, and the police are here and I gotta fill out this police report and they're waiting outside Monday mornings huh

so it'll take me like five seconds or five minutes sounds like an insurance scam doesn't it dude yeah been there baby this podcast is brought to you

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Make sure to check it out. What else is going on? Dude, you know what I've been, you know, it's been irking me a little. What's been irking you? Seeing these babies on TikTok. What ones? And I'll say it huh what babies well they have this one like pudding baby have you seen that it's that baby that just keeps eating all the most pudding that you could have i haven't seen and but the thing is later in life this is going to be an adult this is going to be somebody that and if people are like oh that's pudding baby it's like it's not fair that's what i'm. You think they could become outcasts because of what they did when they were a baby? Dude, imagine you're 17 or whatever you go in,

and people are just running up with spoons of pudding all the time or like treating you, throwing pudding at you in class and stuff. Puddin' Baby, Puddin' Baby. That would stink. It's like the Nirvana Baby. Right. That's a little wiener on the cover, right? Right, but back then it was just an image.

Now it's a video. So it's like forever or if you're that little baby that's humping that um somebody has one of them humping uh what's the thing you keep in your yard that has like water hidden in it whoa a pool a sprinkler no not everybody gets it it's like a it's got like as much water in it as you could get. It's like a – you know what I'm talking about? I don't think so. Like the thing you stick in the ground?

Fire – if there's a fire, it's like a – Oh, a fire hydrant? Yeah, fire hydrant. Fire hydrant. Thank you. Yeah, there's that one – that baby hump in that hydrant. Oh. And so, you know what I'm saying? That person's never going to run a business.

They're never going to be a CEO. No. Yeah, no. Do they hump it often or was it one hump? I mean, it's a baby. I'm not watching a baby for that long do something. You didn't count out the humps, huh? No, I'm saying is that its thing? That would be be weird does the baby hump it a lot well they keep putting

it on the yard it's like waiting for the bus for like the cousin to get off the bus and it'll hump the uh the hydrant it's maybe it's like an anxiety humping you know it's like it's waiting for the the cousin to get home but can you imagine somebody's bringing their you know 30 years somebody's bringing their ceo up to the stage and they're like, here's Ron, you know, we want to, well, you know, and then they play that. It's just like, yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like people are just using these babies. Yeah. Without thinking about the babies.

Yeah. So, but I don't know. You guys don't care. I'm just trying to think of something to say. No, I see what you're saying, but they're kind of like your your offspring so while they're a baby you're kind of in control of them you know yeah it's basically like having the shittiest manager for your for a for a digital career yeah like what do you want your baby to grow up and be cool seems like these parents don't want that like how about do a thing of your baby like at a desk

like using a computer mouse or doing like a filing cabinet. I'm just thinking of things that are going to help your baby down the line. Yeah, that's not happening. Finishing up an essay or something. Yeah. Yeah. That could help there. Because some of that shit, man, you're not going to be – Pudding Baby ain't running my company.

They run a pudding company, though. You don't want Hydrant Humper running your company, either. You're right, actually. Yeah, that's actually really... You could be the best pudding company runner ever. That's actually really good. Yeah, that's true. I guess you might be setting them up maybe for some type of success.

It's just going to be like a specific success. But where does Hydrant Humper go? He's a firefighter, maybe. They can't go nowhere. Unless he sells water, dude. Unless he gets to deal with liquid death or something. That's true. He's not going to be the...

Humping while he stops fires. That's true. He makes the calendars. He makes the calendars. Like the fireman calendars. You know what I mean? Yeah. And by then we won't even put out fires because it'll be too big of an insurance risk for actual fire people to go in there.

So it'll just be... He'll show up and hump a hyd fires because it'll be too big of like an insurance risk for like actual fire people to go in there. So it'll just be – Usually. They'll show up and like hump a hydrant and that'll be like – Distracting, yeah. Yeah, it'll be like we did our part. Yeah. Right. But –

Yeah. Do you have any children? No. No children. Do you have any children? I don't have any. Oh, that you know about or that you know you don't have? I would like to have me.

I would like to hatch a little bat sometime. I'm looking for a wife at some point. Hopefully you find one. Yeah. Oh, damn. How old are you? That sounded like my shot's fired. Shit.

I don't know. When do you want to pump the kids out? I appreciate you talking about the AI kids. I don't even want to. Look, never mind. We're good. We're good. That's all. We can just stay silent until Dave gets back if you want to pump the kids out? Maybe she didn't appreciate you talking about the AI kids. I don't even want to. Look, never mind. We're good. We're good. You can just stay silent until Dave gets back if you want, Bree.

No, it's all love. I meant that with all love. Wow. Well, then we should listen back to it. Because it sounded a hell of different, dude. No, I hope you find one. Well, even that sounded a little tough, boo-boo. Josh, did it sound a little tough? No,boo. Josh, did it sound a little tough?

No, that was awful. Did it sound like I didn't mean it? Yeah, it did. Well, good luck finding one. I did not say good luck finding one. I said I hope you find one. Yeah, but still, I think you just... It just came out wrong.

Came out wrong. Yeah, it's okay. It's early and none of us wanted to be here. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So did Dave's car just get stolen? out wrong yeah it's okay it's early and none of us wanted to be here yeah exactly yeah yeah so did dave's car like just get stolen or did we know about this no it happened a couple days ago okay we've been had it's right before the dozen live show he got he's supposed to go on stage and he got a call it's like your car is stolen well he leaves his keys in the car so it's not really oh that's crazy kind of seems like that's on him yeah it's like range

rovers apparently the windows if it's locked close like they fold inwards so they just look go around looking for people that have like the things open i guess they didn't also expect to find the keys in the car too dude somebody stole my passenger seat man one time and so my vehicle um you go pick people up and they'd have to get it they get in the front door and they'd have to just go directly into the back you know like they stole the front seat beside you yeah oh what do you think they were going to do with that uber driver yeah but it was like people would come in and get right in the back, kind of, uh, what did they do? I don't know. Maybe they didn't have, um... Maybe they needed a car seat for a baby.

Yeah, like a tall baby that sits and... Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Huh. Strangest thing to get stolen, I would say. Did you ever steal a car? That's my attorney calling. Hold on.

Sorry about that. Timing is strange there. Yeah. No, a car got stolen out of my driveway last week, and they just found it, so now they're doing all this shit with it. Anyways. Fair enough.

Can I tell you something, Dave? Yep. So my parents, one time, someone stole their friend's car. And a year later, this was in New Orleans where a lot of things get stolen. And a year later, they were out to dinner like in the French Quarter in New Orleans. And they walked right by their car. So it was parked on the side of the road. And she still had a key in her purse,

like a spare key. And they got in and stole it back. That's crazy. That's in a shame. Is it really? Yeah, it is. Well,

not shocked. Are you, are you passing off shameless? You mean that exact story? New Orleans walking past? No, it was just a guy found a stolen car and and he had his spare key a year later. I don't know why they let it go.

I guess with Range Rovers, a little tip for anybody who may have one, they tell if your side view mirrors are out or in. If they're out, the car is unlocked, and it's kind of like waving red meat in front of it. It's like a burglar gang in Miami. Why do you leave your keys in your car? Better question. Well, I'm a trusting person by nature. I like to see the good in people.

Silly Dave. Yeah, it's a bad decision. Well, in hindsight, it was quite bad, but I will not do that again. Yeah. So I'm sorry that I believe in the human race. And I would never steal a story from shameless or anybody. My stories get stolen all the time put that on the record deal on not stealing shameless car theft stories shameless probably stole people steal all my shit little dick yeah maybe maybe shame

little dicky story shit that shows so many of my jokes man it's crazy like the show actually yeah damn which what's one joke that you've seen that you're like, that's mine? Too many. All right. Fair enough. Wait. That's the Little Dicky show? Yep.

Dave. He's stealing your jokes. I don't know who. If he. I don't know what's going on, but they got a lot of barred content up in that bitch. I'll say that. But that's all right. So you hate him?

I don't know him. But I know I don't borrow his shit. Fair enough, fair enough. Okay. But your face is on that poster and you don't know how to post it on that poster either way. So I'm just saying,

a lot of people stealing my shit this week. A lot of people borrowing stuff. Good morning, America co-host. No, I have no idea if they borrow it. They just have a lot of people stealing my shit this week. A lot of people borrowing stuff. Good Morning America co-host caught in an affair. No, I have no idea if they borrowed. They just have a lot of it. The story Good Morning America co-host Amy Roback, TJ Holmes, who were both in respective marriages, were caught in an affair as taking the internet by storm.

Amy and TJ have worked together since 2014, even used to go on double dates with their spouses. Amy formerly referred to tj as someone who's like a brother to her a little bit more than that so from what i've seen now they got caught having an affair because they somebody put a private investigator on them i don't know who put them yeah and then they went back on the air now they're off the air i don't know that i i don't know if you have a consensual relationship why would you get pulled off the air and what is it what happened to these people who are fucking they're they're they're hosts of good morning america both married fucking to different

people yeah and then they were fucking they were having a fair and doing the show together every morning oh they shouldn't be doing that they they shouldn't but should they get fired from their yeah and then they were fucking they were having a fair and doing the show together every morning oh they shouldn't be doing that they they shouldn't but should they get fired from their show just because they were having sex no people should be able to live their own lives and then also have their work yeah i think that's what people are like arguing about online right dave is like should they be fired or not yeah well are they back on air they were put on air and then they and originally good morning america said they would not be disciplined and then they reversed and yanked them so they're not on the air anymore i think it's a publicity stunt i bet they'll be back in two weeks

i don't know good morning america that doesn't seem like their type of publicity stunt i don't think they're into that yeah it's disney owned yeah yeah disney doesn't seem like their type of publicity stunt. I don't think they're into that shit. Yeah, it's Disney-owned. Yeah, Disney doesn't mess with cheating. I hope they find somebody. I think they had somebody. And I think they found another person, too. Correct, which may be the co-host of the issue. What else?

Let's talk about something fun, huh? Like what? I don't know. Cocaine bear movie? Oh, dang, dude. What about that meat? How much would that meat sell for, dog? That Wagyu will make you wag, baby.

Damn. I thought this was fake, but I guess it's real. Yeah, no, this happened in... Was it in... No. Can we see the trailer? Wait, this is an actual story? It's an actual movie. I don't know.

I think it's a comedy slash horror. I don't know what's going on. Yeah, it's kind of a movie. Let's see the trailer? Wait, this is an actual story? It's an actual movie. I don't know. I think it's a comedy slash horror. I don't know what's going on. Yeah, it's kind of a movie. Let's see the trailer. What do you mean you don't know what's going on? There's two ingredients in it. The title has all the information. Cocaine Bear.

It is a self-explanatory. Yeah, all right. Fine. Let me clarify. I don't know how a bear eats unlimited cocaine. Christopher Columbus or something? What do you think this is, dude? You think this is about the American Revolution, bitch?

This is cocaine, Bear Davey. Watch the preview. Have you seen the preview? Oh, yeah, I've seen this. Medic! Oh, Jesus. What is that? Yeah.

I've been there. Beth, we should go. Millions of dollars worth of cocaine fell from the sky this morning in Knoxville, Tennessee. There's more of this out there. They dumped it somewhere. I'm looking for my daughter's. Forest is a dangerous place. Hey, Henry.

Check it out. Something got into it. A deer, maybe? A lot of cocaine was lost. I need you to go and get it. No, no, no, no, don't eat that, don't eat eat that let's see what kind of effect that has on oh yeah the bear it fucking did cocaine a bear he said cocaine there was a bear a bear bear? It was far!

Hey, that's inappropriate. You're safe. Bears can't climb trees. Of course they can! Oh, shit. Run! oh shit it kind of seems like the thing that stays with the man forever apex predator high on cocaine out of its mind oh man you fucked

what the fuck is wrong with that bear shoot it it's coke bear speed up get higher baby and don't ever come down we have such good luck in nature And don't ever come down. We have such good luck in nature.

Luck ran out. Nice. How much fentanyl does it take to kill that bear? A lot. Yeah, so that's what I mean. I'm like, what are we talking about here? And I know Theo's like, well, the name is in the title, which it is, Cocaine Bear. But like, it costs a lot of money to make a movie, right?

Yeah, that's true. You're right, man. That's a real movie? Well, it was based on true events. Did you ever go through a big time with drugs, Dave? Did I ever go through a what? Did you ever go through a tough period with drugs over there? No. Did you watch it happen to people? Anybody else? Did you watch it through a what? Did you ever go through a tough period with drugs over there? No.

Did you watch it happen to people? Anybody else? Did you watch it happen to people? No. I've never been a big drug guy. That's good. Drugs. Drugs. Drugs.

I think Bree's more the woman to talk to. I'm not talking to her anymore. She doesn't... Wait, are you saying me? She doesn't want you to have kids. Yeah, I was saying you're probably more the woman to talk to. I like don't do drugs. Yeah.

I don't do drugs. Um, now what about this? What about something else? What's something else? I don't know. Um, let's think of something.

What else is there besides drugs? Oh, there's a lot, bud. Like what? Well, there's friendship oh there's a lot bud like what friendship well there's friendship there's oh uh five food groups i thought it meant like stuff like that gets you fucked up um lb names the biggest dickheads in the world uh james corden was on it he's just a dickhead apparently he seems like a dick everyone's not even from this country where's he from the uk right yeah send him back dude i say we build a mayflower and send that bitch back everyone keeps saying dickhead dickhead dickhead i've i've met anybody want to call out any dickheads deal you're

meeting all sorts of famous people yeah we want to call out oh little dicky yeah big dickhead i'm not calling him out i'm just saying saying it's ironic that it's just interesting. Like, if I thought someone was stealing my shit, I would hate them. I'm not saying you do. I'm hating on your behalf. I get a lot of hate in these bones. Oh, dang. All right.

Plenty to go around. That could be my role in society. If people are too nice to hate, I'll hate on their behalf. Oh, I like that. Like hate for hire. Yeah, exactly. I like that. Yeah.

Somebody just rolls up. It's like, hey, fuck you. All right. Rent day for like a couple hours. Yeah. Closing around and hates on the people. Who is somebody that I don't know? I don't know.

I don't that one UFC guy's name is comes up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that he's awesome. That guy's very good, right? Oh, he's the he's really, really great. But he's like the villain. Yeah. Big time villain.

Yeah. Who else don't I like? Everybody has to say somebody since I had to say something. OK. I don't really fuck with Putin. since I had to say somebody. Okay. I don't really fuck with Putin.

I don't know. Is he way out? I hate that Emily Steele who just wrote the New York Times piece on me. I fucking hate her. I hate Julie Black. I hate Henry Blodgett. I don't like that guy, SBF. He's a piece of shit.

A lot of people don't like that. Dave, you win, bro. You're good at that shit. He's got a lot of hate in his heart. And Brie, me, she already said. And then who else would you pick now? I didn't say that. Dave, when you left, they said that I said something mean to Theo,

but I don't think I did. What did you say? I'll be the judge of that. I said, he said he wanted kids, and he said he needs to find a lady. And I said, I hope you find one. Is that that mean? No, I don't think that's mean. She goes.

What did I say? I think that's fair. Not mean. She goes, hope you find somebody. Oh, the look, like you have no shot. It was a little bit of that. That's okay. There was none of that.

It's all love. I'm telling you. It made me quite uncomfortable, actually, for a little bit. Seriously? Shut up. Yeah. Yeah. Damn, bro. Never mind. Now she hates you, dude. Yeah, I bit. Seriously? Shut up. Yeah. Yeah. Damn, bro, never mind.

Now she hates you, dude. Yeah, I know, but I'm good. We're back. Speaking of people who hate people, moving to the BFF corner, Avani not happy with Josh. Avani tweeted, LMAO and unfollowed Josh after last week's BFF episode went live. Josh has not returned the favor yet.

I just didn't know that yeah not surprising to be honest yeah but i'm gonna ride with my boys always you're riding with the guys always riding with the boys all right guys quick commercial break so you can manage your music business all in one place with two loss two loss is a worldwide music distribution for independent artists and labels made easy so two lost offers unparalleled control over your music catalog. So to last, you can release your music to all major platforms as often as you want, whenever you want. So to last also makes collaborating easy. You can seamlessly add payment splits for each release and automatically pay your team and collaborators. You don't have to hire anyone else to do it. It's all done within the app. So

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Did they find the car, Dave? Yes. Hello? You're going to unfollow her back, Josh? That cocaine bear. I wish they had a whole cocaine zoo, baby. I'd be in that bitch. That'd be a crazy zoo.

A couple of fucking eight birds flying by. Yeah, I would want to see the lions. Oh, that'd be so crazy. Lions versus bears on Coke? Yeah. I'd actually, you know what animal I want to see on Coke is a sloth. Oh, yeah. See if they get fast.

Yeah. See how quick they get. Because I've heard that they'd be the most deadly animal in the world if they weren't slow that's the only thing holding them back what about this molly penguins vs coke bear oh how many penguins

ah ok molly penguins are just going to want to have fun what the fuck happens yeah but imagine 7 penguins want to fucking have fun with you that's going to get intense what are you guys talking about but imagine seven penguins want to fucking have fun with you. That's going to get intense. It's going to get wicked. Too much fun. What are you guys talking about?

Seven Molly penguins versus a cocaine bear. Yeah, we're talking about a zoo where animals and drugs merge. Cocaine bear easy. Okay. What about this? PCP ostrich. Yeah. Verse.

And that shit's crazy. It's got people killing their offspring and everything. Yeah, bro. Oh, yeah. Verse. And that shit's crazy. It's got people like killing their like offspring and everything. Yeah, bro. So, OK. OK. That's a real bro. That's cocaine that comes with silverware, bro. That shit is legit.

Right. So PCP ostrich versus cocaine bear. Cocaine bear. Again. What about a bath salt ostrich? I'll be honest. The way we're like doing it, I'm not really factoring, and maybe I'm a simpleton. I'm not factoring the drug so much into it as the creature.

Okay. So if you're like bath salt bear versus cocaine ostrich, I'm going bear. You know? I see. Okay, so we need to find another really... We need to find an animal that would play center on NBA. Like great white versus a bear. Then I'm taking the great white if it's in the water.

Drugs are almost irrelevant. I have a different question that's a serious question. Bear versus lion. Not that these aren't serious. Oh. See? Now they're both on Coke. Coke or PCP.

I think Lion. I think you go the Lion gets the Coke. We're switching the Bear from the Coke. He's moved on. Now he's on bath salts. You know what I'm saying? What about this? Meth Leopard versus Coke Bear.

Oh, Meth Leopard. Bear. I'm going Meth Leopard. Meth is a hell of a drug. Yeah, but Leopard, I thought you didn't do drugs. And it's 5 a.m. Yeah, meth leopard. I'm going meth leopard. Meth is a drug. Yeah, but leopard kill. I thought you didn't do drugs. And it's 5 a.m. Meth leopard. Fucking meth leopard would take that bear apart

and put him back together, dude. I'll tell you that. The speed on that leopard is going to be unreal. It's just going to go for the killies. Run laps around the bear? You got to get in tight to fight him eventually. Nah, you just needs to get in for a second, though. In and out. In and out.

In and out. Go take the battery out. So my car. You'd be like Muhammad Ali, just dancing out there. My car has been gone for like a week, a little longer. And they're like, hey, it's in good shape. I just get the car back. Like, I don't get, like, how's that work?

Like, I just get a stolen car back. I'm sure it's not the same. They fucked it up. I'm sure. People, they probably fucked in it and shit. I was about to say, dude. It's just getting clean. I just have to take the car back. I have no say.

I want a new one. Maybe a metal leopard stole your car. Sometimes it's nice if you get it back and there's, like, a baby seat in it or something. Because it makes you feel like somebody used it for good, you know? Right. Like a family, at least a family uses. Yeah, so you might have that chance, Dave, to have, you know a good experience with it yeah and then you feel bad and you know give it back to them because i i don't know if they really are going to be like yeah we'll give you another new car because you forgot

to take your keys out well that's one way to look at it the The other way I look at it, it's like someone walked into my driveway. Like that's a crime. Well, it's walking in your driveway. A crime or is taking a car. The crime walking in with intent to steal my car is a crime. Yeah. See,

this is the difference between different generations, man. It's like one of them sees out of the crime. Other people are like, well, maybe they needed your car. Yeah. You know, I don't get a new car. I don't think you get a new car out of it were you trying

did you do you know this is a question do you know the person that stole it nope do the police now who took it they they're doing like dna swabs because they're fucking they're doing uh fingerprint testing dusting doing the forensics like there was a group of four today they're fucking. They're doing fingerprint testing, dusting. There was a group of four today. It's a long shot. It's a professional crew. They took the car. They disarmed the tracking within a second. They're like, it's a crew. They boost Land Rovers.

And I drive around with a car that's been fucked in by strangers? That's bullshit. How'd they get it back if they be a master crew? Because they're so good at boosting it, they fucked in it, they used it, and they dropped it. Now they'll go get a new car and do it all over again probably. But there's nothing wrong with the car. It's just been fucked in.

I don't know. You just clean it up. I don't know what's wrong with it. I bet they didn't treat it nicely. I just got an oil change. In your car? Yeah, I just got an oil change yesterday your car? yeah I just got an oil change yesterday how much that run you?

I'm not sure probably maybe $99.99 I bet they didn't get an oil change I bet they fucking were like putting the wrong type of gas in it too probably like the cheap gas see that's what we need we need like the opposite type of we need like like what if we like broke into somebody's

house and installed an alarm you know that's of we need like like what if we like broke into somebody's house and installed an alarm oh you know that's what we need we need that robin hood there's robin hood burglars like reverse yeah yeah like what if we started doing that dave that's cool i just want a new car harry josey responds to bffs uh so yet we insinuated that maybe uh charlie was talking about harry harry's like hey i mean he's talking about taylor again so same old same old um i don't exactly remember he's talking shit about it i think that's it oh you guys went to the pats game bills killed the pats that's yeah we did yeah that was tough yeah we did yeah bills are kings though man the bills are very good this year josh allen's a monster they're very good We did. Yeah, that was tough. Yeah, we did. Bills are kings, though, man. The Bills are good.

The Bills are very good this year. Josh Allen's a monster. They're very good. Dawson Knox. Diggs. Dawson Knox has been playing pretty good. A.J. Klein. Geez.

Geez. No, they're very good. They're very good. That's it. That's all we got. Did we miss anything? An interesting episode? I don't think we missed anything.

Dio, push your podcast. If people aren't listening to it yet, what are they going to download? Yeah, you can check out This Past Weekend. It comes out today. We just had a retired police officer on. It's absolutely unbelievable to hear what these guys go through. Oh, my God, man. It's unbelievable.

We got James Blake on next week. Gravy is on. What did you think of Gravy? he's someone i don't like lately well i didn't like i don't i i thought i'm an addison ray fan so you just didn't like the addison ray's mom i didn't i didn't like like i get what he's doing and his dad's not but it's like i've it's a real family so it's like i don't know i felt weird to me felt like a publicity stunt on his part not thinking that there's like real family, so it's like, I don't know. It felt weird to me. It felt like a publicity stunt on his part, not thinking that there's real family fucking crazy shit going on. Yeah, I don't know what he's... I know he has that milk factor, you know,

and at his show the other night, someone had an urn. Their mother was in an urn, and she was like a gravy mill for whatever. Like Paul Bearer. Yeah, well, she had passed away, and they brought her to the show, man. Oh, wow. The Paul Bearer? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was like that, dude.

Yeah. Also, he's killing it because I didn't realize I bought a new pair of sneakers at Foot Locker the other day. He's like the fucking spokesman for Foot Locker. They had a huge LED screen with gravy going in and out. So what do I know know he's fucking killing it uh yeah he's he's uh he's definitely a hard worker i don't know what he was doing with um about the other stuff i don't know about it yeah all right um that's it i'll see it i'll see brie and josh friday theo i'll see i think i'm gonna be there i think i'm gonna be there well

i'm gonna see you saturday anyway you said, you're talking for our thing or for Vegas? I think I'm going to be a, I don't know. We'll see. Okay. I'm going to try to see you in Vegas. I hope to see you. Maybe I'll see him. Maybe I won't.

Yeah, but I'd like to. Me too. It's always a pleasure. Thank you guys. I appreciate you. Thank you, man. All right. See you guys.