BigDeal - #35 Discipline Alone Can’t Make You Successful, Use THIS Instead… | Bryan Callen

Episode Date: November 5, 2024

🚀 Main Street Over Wall Street is where the real deals get done. Join top investors, founders, and operators for three days of powerful connection, sharp strategy, and big opportunities — live in Austin, Nov 2–4. https://contrarianthinking.biz/msows-bigdeal In this episode of the Big Deal Podcast, Codie Sanchez Sanchez converses with comedian and actor Brian Callan. They explore the nuances of humor, the journey from acting to comedy, and the deeper meanings of success and happiness. Callan shares insights on the importance of struggle, the cultural implications of wealth, and the role of laughter in health and well-being. The conversation delves into the artist's journey, emphasizing the need for inspiration over discipline in creative pursuits. In this engaging conversation, the speaker delves into the multifaceted role of comedy in human connection, the complexities of modern masculinity, and the evolving landscape of relationships. They explore how comedians have emerged as unexpected voices of reason in today's society, while also addressing the often-taboo subject of wealth and success. The discussion highlights the economic realities of the comedy industry, emphasizing the importance of touring for financial success. Finally, the speaker reflects on the philosophical underpinnings of humor, suggesting that personal introspection and the navigation of life's challenges are central to the comedic process. Want help scaling your business to $1M in monthly revenue? ⁠Click here⁠ to connect with my consulting team. Record your first video with Riverside - https://creators.riverside.fm/Codie - and use code CODIE for 15% off an individual plan. Chapters 00:00 Welcome to the BigDeal Pod 03:14 The Role of Humor in Life 06:02 Reflections on Success and Happiness 08:50 The Importance of Struggle and Adventure 12:09 Cultural Perspectives on Wealth and Privilege 15:00 The Transition from Acting to Comedy 17:55 Inspiration vs. Discipline in Creativity 20:47 The Reality of Fame and Financial Struggles 24:06 The Nature of Comedy and Performance 26:53 The Impact of Laughter on Health 29:48 The Artist's Journey and Personal Growth 35:57 The Role of Comedy in Connection 39:15 Navigating Modern Masculinity and Relationships 44:02 Comedians as Voices of Reason 49:18 The Reality of Wealth and Success 53:51 The Economics of Comedy 01:00:21 The Philosophy Behind Humor MORE FROM BIGDEAL: 🎥 ⁠YouTube⁠ 📸 ⁠Instagram⁠ 📽️ ⁠TikTok⁠ MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ: 🎥 ⁠YouTube⁠ 📸 ⁠Instagram⁠ 📽️ ⁠TikTok⁠ OTHER THINGS WE DO: 🫂 ⁠Our community⁠ 📰 ⁠Free newsletter⁠ 🏦 ⁠Biz buying course⁠ 🏠 ⁠Resibrands⁠ 💰 ⁠CT Capital⁠ 🏙️ ⁠Main St Hold Co⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi, welcome back to the Big Deal podcast. I'm Cody Sanchez, and this is for those of you who don't want to just be rich but free and do what it takes to get there. Okay, this week, Brian Callan, oh my fucking God, so good. I was on the floor laughing this entire podcast, also learning things that I never expected to learn. If you don't know Brian, he has been an actor and a comedian for decades. You might have seen him in The Hangover One, the Hangover Two, you know, ride along. He had Mad TV. He is on Joe Rogan constantly. fact, he left my podcast today and went to Joe Rogan afterwards. Brian is an incredibly skilled actor and comedian with a huge Netflix special that's going to be coming out soon. But I think one of the most interesting parts about this podcast today was listening to, if you want to be funny, is there a way to actually do it? And I loved his answer on this. If you're a young man and you're not maybe getting as many chicks as you want or the attention that you want, could you use comedy to actually solve that? Three, do comedians make any money? And and how, same goes with actors, for what's going on right now with all of these politicians on

these comedic platforms, what's happening, why? And I think that answer sort of blew me away. And then finally, some kind of deep questions about how do you become a better human? How do you become a better parent? Maybe especially if you've got a little cash and you want your kid to be better than you were. And a wild story about what it actually takes to be really successful over time and his answer surprised me. It's not going to be what you think. So without further ado, let's get into Brian Callan and apologize for the hyena cackle of mine you're going to hear often. Although sometimes they call it a donkey bray. You could really take your pick. Let's get into Brian. Oh, wait. Also, you guys, if you haven't subscribed to the podcast, make sure you do.

And this week, we just went right into this bad boy. There's no like, hi, Brian, hi Cody. Thank you for coming to the podcast. We just roll. So tell me if you like that this week, will you? We tell me in the YouTube comments and also let me know on the actual podcast. Okay, off we go. I love talking to my friends on this podcast about how they made their millions, how they became owners, how to solve their problems. And I love sharing these talks with you guys because I think that's how we get rich together. But when I can't meet in person to do this, there's one tool I use, Riverside.

Riverside ensures I can talk to anyone anywhere, record it in high resolution, and have a quality video that I can share. Riverside records separate audio and video tracks so we can easily cut back and forth between those inevitable awkward interactions. But if you're not into detailed editing, Riverside's got your back. They have this in-platform editing software that, get this, is 99% accurate. And if that's not cool enough, they've got an AI platform where they can actually do show notes, summarize your content, add SEO required descriptions, and it's all programmatic.

So you can do what Riverside does and use it for interviews, presentations, podcasts, and more. I love it because I don't have time for complex. That's why we use this technology. Because when I get a deal, you get a deal. If you guys want to use Riverside, go to the link in description and use the code Cody, and you get a deal too. You got a thing for, like, dangerous animals.

We've already talked about wolves here. It's all a gimmick. It's all bullshit. Is that? Is that a, like, is that a Brian Callender? It started with Rogan and I back in the day. He's obsessed with, like, you know, crocodiles and grizzlies. But you're not?

No, I mean, I like that. You know, it's, it's, I can talk to you about, like, who I think would win in a fight, a tiger or a grizzly. And it's ridiculous conversation. And is that? But I'll get into it. Like you go to the data. Yeah, just like, I'll get into the difference between Kobe and Jordan or Muhammad Ali and Mike Tyson. I can, I can pontificate and give you my useless opinion based on, you know, my guy energy.

But, but people like it. Yeah. Yeah, they want to know. Yeah, you're funny. Are people ever weird around you because you're funny and so then they try to be funny? Like I got a little nervous when you came over. And I'm like, I'm trying to tell a joke. I'm not funny naturally. Stop telling jokes. It's not true, though. It's like, it's like humor is, are we rolling? Yeah. Humors, humor is how we, if you think about humor, there's an intimacy to humor, right? So, so typically you can, a lot of times mark a lot of the great moments in your life with how. how much you are laughing with people. Yeah, especially your friends. And I think something about laughter is, it's a little bit like taking the whole chestboard

and thrown it in the air. But by the way, don't underestimate how important it is to be able to laugh. Yeah. A guy like me, if he's around somebody and they are connected and they're really laughing. Yeah. That's incredibly, that's also amazing.

That's a form of, I'm having an effect on you and you're having an effect on me. Yeah. So, you know, but yeah, a lot of people feel really insecure when they're around the comic. I can't be funny like you guys. He can. Yeah, that's got to be a normal interaction, right? Yeah.

Well, yeah, it's interesting. And probably it lessened once they're actually around you. Then they're just like, oh, okay, it's normal. Yeah. Yeah, and I don't think you can always be funny. My default is probably funny because it's a way of coping with the chaos and enormity of life. And maybe the fact that part of what's hard.

about life in some ways is you can do everything right, plan everything to the nth degree. And I promise you most likely you will be derailed because it's just how it happens. And it's supposed to happen that way. But the way you can cope with that is to, you know, not take yourself or it too seriously. Yeah, I totally agree. Yeah. Yeah, I'm like a big Alan Watts fan. I love Alan Watts. Oh, God. Yeah. Like, do you ever listen to? He studied the Vedanta, you know. That's why I always said, I'm not a Christian. I'm not a Buddhist. Alan Watts was always a always somebody who talked about cultivating the witness, right? So you're not your mind, you're not your emotions, you're not your body. You are that observer, you know, and that sort of,

so whatever happens to you, you can actually embrace, don't resist it. You know, I love, I love when he said something to the effect that you can't improve yourself or the world. That's a hard thing for especially Western people to hear because we have improved a world. We have manipulated our environment. But in fact, you know, if you were to come in and try to make everything right in this room and turn everything top side up, there'd be a top side down as well. And it's a beautiful way of doing it. Like the part of you that wants to improve yourself is the part that needs improving. So you're in the circle, you know.

Yeah, it's so true. Yeah. Do you ever listen to his, he has like these great. great little Spotify playlist where people put like lofi beats to his stuff. That's how I know I'm like middle age. I'm listening to like self-help while I'm listening to music. That's not great. You know, that's what you get to.

I think that you start to realize that accomplishment and, you know, whatever attention and status, what are the things you do? When I was 53, I think, 52, I drew a line through sort of everything that I had come to L.A. to do. It was kind of cool, right? I just went, I did this, you know?

And you better be careful when you do that because it's not actually, when you get to the top of that wall, whatever it is and you set for yourself, you're going to realize that there's got to be something more. You know, you somehow need something to push against. You can take away what you have to push against. This is a bit trite, right? We've heard this a thousand times, but I just, I don't know, man, I think the reach is more important. Yeah. Well, it's kind of the same thing with money. People always go, nah, actually, like, happiness doesn't increase materially after about $500,000 a year in income. And when I was young and I heard that, I thought, I'm going to fucking try. Like, let's just see. Like, let's see what happens. And then you do get, I don't know if I believe the $500,000 mark, actually. I think there's, like a few more levels of the game. But, like, you know, you can't hear it until you get there. And then you might be able to understand. I always like the Alan Watts thing where he's like, I don't know why it fucked me up. much. But remember when he talked about how he's like, think about life like music or a song.

Like what if we listen to music and we were just like, oh, the point is like to get to the end of that song. Like we just wanted to get there as fast as possible. Then we go to a concert and the concert would just be like a coughany of noises until like as fast as possible it was done. That would be silly. That would be so silly. And he's like, that's how we are in life. He also said if you were to achieve enlightenment, let's say you just were to achieve this thing, this elusive goal called enlightenment. You'd be right here. Here, right here in the same place. Nothing would change.

That's an important concept, too. Yeah, it's true. So, you know, and I think that, I think about that a lot. You can make a lot of money. Good for you. I know people who've got a lot of money. And you will buy a lot of safety and comfort. And I had this thing, it's part of what I'm writing about, my special,

which I'm going to should actually at Rogan's Place in January. So you've got to come by. Absolutely. And it's about, I don't think the Garden of Eden was paradise. I think the Garden of Eden was a form of hell, which is why there was an apple, which was why there was an escape portal, which was that snake and apple. Because I don't think you'd want to be in a garden where nothing could kill you, where nothing. The only reason you want to ride a motorcycle really fast is you might fall and lose all the skin on one side of your body. Sorry.

The only reason you'd rather pet a tiger over a cow is the tiger might turn around and bite your face off. That's exciting, right? You know, everything is that way. And if you take away that struggle, so, you know, the idea that she bit the apple because she was a sinner, she would probably call it an escape, you know, get me the fuck out of here. Because I need some, I need to not know what's around that corner. That's called adventure. And if you have no adventure, you have no fun.

And so that's kind of, and if you make a lot of money, if you do it all right, and you hit every marker for you. And I'm going to quote my friend who studies in the Dantam. He said, you can hit every goal you set for yourself and ruin your kids' lives. Oof. And to extrapolate on that, if your kids have never flown commercially, you're probably going to spend a lot of money on rehab later on. Ain't that the bit? Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive.

The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMGM and Game Sense remind you to play responsibly, 19 plus to wager. only, please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2,600 to speak to an advisor, free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Well, and also, you know, a lot of times these days you see these really successful, quote-unquote, successful people and their kids are fucking nightmares.

And you're like, how good of a human are you if you had like sort of one real, job in life, which was you brought this person in. Like, that's kind of your fault one way or the other. It's so hard. It's so hard, though. Do you have kids? This says from somebody who has zero kids. I have four kids. It's hard because it's the handicap of wealth, right? You know, it's, it's, I grew up, the way I grew up was, my father was made some money, not a lot, but he was, he was a banker and other things. And I grew up all over the world. And I grew up in the 70s in the developing world. So I lived, I was born in the Philippines. I lived in India in Calcutta and Bombay. I then moved to Lebanon and then Pakistan and then Lebanon again and I was in the war and then

we were evacuated to Greece and then Saudi Arabia. Now in that time we also traveled to, I don't know, places like mainland China all over Africa, most eastern, East Africa actually. I shouldn't say all over. And places like, I said Yemen, but mainland China, Yemen, Africa, Syria, everywhere. I went everywhere. Only the nicest. And what I saw, yeah, and what I saw was real poverty. People who are on the losing side of history.

But guess where I saw it from? From behind the pain of an air-conditioned car, the glass of an air-conditioned car, I was protected by these United States. I was an American citizen, a white kid with blonde hair. and I saw kids my own age begging. I saw when I was in Kenya, we were in the countryside, and I gave somebody, I hated my lunch. We had these box lunches.

We were on safari. And I gave it, and they tore it, they fought over it. That's humiliating for me. You know, that's, because what happens is you're so embarrassed by how lucky you are for no reason. You're so embarrassed by the fact that I knew even as a kid, I was like, I, I've never had my belly empty. And I'm seeing real poverty, real, I saw leprosies.

People your age have never seen full-blown fucking leprosy in a marketplace in Damascus. I have. I saw that stuff with my own eyes. And when I say that, I'm talking about, I'm talking about somebody with no nose and no fingers with advanced leprosy. I saw that. I walked by that in the Mazar. I saw people with elephant and hithes. because they didn't know what to do.

So I saw these advanced diseases as a kid. I saw them. I smelled it. I was right next to it. And I saw, when you walk through a souk, when you walk through a bazaar in whether it's Pakistan or in, and I was very young or in Syria. When you're a very young kid and nobody gives you context,

I remember being, I think I was 14, 14. I went to Russia when I was 18. And I was with my friend who spoke Russian. We were in Gorky Park. And this was when it was a communist country. Everything was monitored. But I stole away. I hooked up with this beautiful girl named Svetlana.

I'll never forget. It was so awful. I was 18 years old. That's like her and her friend. And 18. I'm not kidding. And her and her friend and her friend, he was all like, oh. I was like, they were like 21.

It was in the Cosmos Hotel. Russian Asian. Crazy story. I don't, yeah. Whatever. Put me in Siberia, bro. it was the greatest 18 years old I was like it was incredible but

but I remember being in Gorky Park with these Russians and they were asking me in Russian because my friend was able to interpret they were asked me what kind of cars they were I gave the kid my Nike's and my blue jeans and they were like they couldn't believe it like

it was like currency the same thing with mainland China when I was there in 1981 I was 14 I think and I remember everyone was in a blue blue plant pants and blue shirts and they had the same haircut and they were all on bicycles because with mao and

the communists they wanted to get rid of category right i saw that stuff and so again you know you you you get to go back to the united states you get to go back to wherever you are we are safe we have to have to worry about a knock on the door you never have to worry about where your food's coming you never have to most importantly see how humiliating it is for your mother your father to not be able to feed you and the family to not be able to kind of like uh even spend their mind. I never had that. My father was my hero because he was an American and he was able to say whatever he wanted and he had money and he was able to, it's like this. The best way to put it is this, I grew up in a part of the world where you had to forego who you could

be for who you had to be. And I'm quoting Daryl Cooper now because he said that in a podcast I listened to it so I don't want to take credit for it. But I thought about that a lot. And that that creates a lot of guilt in you and a lot of shame, you know? It should. It should, Probably. I don't know where we were going with this, but you were talking about. Well, it's interesting to the same, because I sometimes think that maybe the reason why we had that whole white privilege movement where we were shaming children for being white and American. Yeah, I think it's really pernicious. People are not privileged. Exactly. But I think that it was a little bit based on some of the people had these ideas.

They're like, well, I've lived this way. I've never had hardship. And I don't know. I'd be curious your take. Part of my thought there is like, I don't know, instead of being guilty and shameful, why don't you do fucking something with what you got? Like, did you? Yeah, I, I, that's how I, that's what I did. I never, yeah. I mean, no, no, no, listen. What I, what I did is I, what's good about having historical perspective and perspective

in general is you go, I'm lucky. I get to make a living with my imagination. I get, I get to do something called original self-expression and make money. I mean, what are you talking? And I'm not going to do that. That's why I work so hard. That's why, like, I don't want to die thinking I didn't mind everything I could. This next special, the best fucking thing I've ever done in my life, the best.

And I can't wait. But it better be. It better be. You actually have a wild, like, thought I've seen a couple different times that's super counterculture, which is you don't like discipline. you prefer inspiration. Explain, like, what does that mean? And how do you actually use that daily? I don't think discipline is sustainable.

I mean, I know it's sustainable if you're a Navy SEAL and you have to deal with being uncomfortable for a long period of time. Nobody can sustain that ultimately. Every time I meet somebody who's really intense, I've seen these fucking sales guys, this guy, this guy, I don't care his name is, but he's like,

he's jacked and he's, and he's, all the supplements. I'm jealous of his body, but he's like, I don't get tired. I do not get tired. I don't talk it. I'm like, hey, bro, this Adderall is kicking in right now. I get it. But good luck with that.

Like, stop it and shut the fuck. Shut up. Shut up, you know? Like, you can't do that. It's good if you're a young man and you want to get off your ass and come up with a game plan. Cool. But once that caffeine rush or Adderol wears down, you're going to have to, you know, success is consistency over a long period of time. And you better be inspired.

You better get to why you're doing it. How do you get inspired? Like, what does that look like for you? I am, I've always been interested in potential, right? So I want to know, I love the idea of you don't know what you're capable of. Yeah. You know, I use this expression, which is your best self is clearing his throat in the other room, right? You're fucking up over here, but you know you should be doing something else because you could be so much better over there.

You have perfect teeth, by the way. Oh, thanks. Really? Sorry to put you on the spot, but yeah, it smells it. I love a compliment. You never have to apologize for that. But, you know, that's kind of like, that should be for all of us. Like, who are you really supposed to be? Right? When God, when you get up to heaven or wherever it is, and God's got your entire life on a piece of paper,

like looking at you with that same expression your dad used to have when you'd get your report card, right? I want them to be looking at you going, hey, you did your best, you know? You know, you did a good job or, hey, you reached, you know. I grade on a curve. Come on in. There's so funny you say that because I am obsessed with this Emma Bomback quote. Have you ever heard it? It's when I stand before God at the end of my days, I hope that I can say to him,

I have not one drop left. I used everything you gave me. And that for me, now, she's kind of a crazy feminist person. But she, the quote totally, you know, a lot of times like you, for example, I mean, God, I was looking at your resume. It's wild. It's like you've acted in all these huge movies, like, you know, hangover, hangover, too, you know, ride along. You've done all these incredible TV shows.

You know, you've done the full gamut of, like, acting. And then you decided to get into comedy, which I want to talk about too. But a lot of people will probably say, like, all right, you could have been good. You made plenty of money. It doesn't happen as much in Hollywood. I feel like people just keep going. A lot of times when you make money, they go, why don't you just like, why do you need more? Nobody makes money.

I love this. most people think my actors are, you know, set. Yeah. And my favorite. Like, I could tell you, you would be so blown away. Okay, tell me. And how many household names have... Don't have a lot of money.

Speaking of making money, if you guys haven't picked up the book, Main Street Millionaire, that I'm pointed to right over here, you definitely should. This book is all about how do you get ownership, which I think is the key to all money. It's not really about do you want to just only go buy a business. It's how do you become a deal maker? and how do you become an owner because that is how you get rich. If you already have a business, you should buy it so that you can figure out how to integrate more businesses into your business.

If you have a salary, you should buy it so you can figure out how to actually negotiate upside. And if you want to understand what's going on in our world today with the big guys owning everything and us begging for scraps, you should buy it in order to read it too. You guys get a bunch of free downloads with it if you do this before the book comes out. So get there soon. MSMBook.com. You would blow your mind.

You'd be like, what? Yeah. Also, I think there couldn't be anything worse than being famous and poor. There are plenty of them out there. That's tough. There are plenty of them out. So what actually made you go from acting to comedy?

Because now, Netflix special, you're on tour right now. Yeah. What's the change? I mean, I just loved, I mean, you know, I've never been on set where I didn't want it to be over. It's a terrible thing to say. Really? It's acting as,

like piecemeal. It's just piecemeal, man. Like, lay it out. Like, what does it look like? You're doing it a page at a time. So watch this. Watch this. I'm going to do a scene. Ready? Let's do a scene. All right. Action. You got to get my money, my friend. Or we're going to have a problem. Cut. Brian, can you, when you bring the coffee, you're blocking the light.

Can we get a different light over here because he brought the car? Just can you bring it down and then swoop it up? Yeah, I got it. Okay. Action. We got a problem, my friend. Looks like you owe me some money. Okay, Brock Cut, don't you said, don't say anything because the mic it's getting, you set it into the coffee. Could you say it this way and then try to then take a sip?

We didn't take the sip because we want you to save it, but there's a little alcohol. Fuck it. That's all day. That's all day. There's a shadow on her face and also her hair is different. You see how it's doing this. Can we?

Yeah, come on it. That's what you do all day. I'm not kidding. That sounds terrible. Yeah, that's why actors, drink. Yeah. It's like, get me the fuck out of here. Why do you think so many people like it then?

Because it's so hard to get there. You're like, I tried so hard for this. It's miserable. Well, it's not only hard to get there. It's hard to sustain. It's hard to stay relevant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I think Jay Leno said, like, no one is in first chair for more than six years. It's such a great point. Yeah, especially women. I think we're like two and a half.

Oh, my God. Once you lose your delicious. It's awful. I'm way past the hill. Catherine Hepburn talked about that. They all talked about that. You win an Oscar. They don't, it's adorable.

Yeah, exactly. Where's the next young, you know? And there's so many beautiful women, especially today. Like, maybe it used to be enough if you were, yeah, true. Yeah, that's super. Okay, so you went into comedy and didn't, I think I heard you talk about how Joe Rogan was one of the people that was like, hey, get into comedy, do stand-up. Well, I've done, I had been doing stand-up. Okay.

But then I was acting and I wanted to be Robert De Niro, or I wanted to be, I don't know who I wanted to be. I loved that. I was pretty good at it. Like, I did a lot of theater, and I loved it. And, you know, and I worked really hard at acting. Like, I was in class for years and really doing plays and theater and working on scenes. I'm just picturing you, like, dancing. So, like, your leap. And I took dance. And I took voice and all that horseshit. Yes. I went to formal theater school in New York City. I don't know why if I live. Well, I'm a Thesbian. You understand. This is the reason I speak this way. I drop my. my jaw and I'm really good at expressing myself. And that's how you used to speak. It was called the skinner technique, of course. And you weren't English, but if you ever listened to William F. Buckley or

Catherine Hepburn, there's something about them that's almost English. Right, that. Alan Watts, is Alan Watts English? He talks to say, oh, fuck. Well, he was actually real. Okay, he wasn't. Well, William F. Buckley, of course, would have any power to take if I would actually romance your argument in the real world, which I would never do, but I will hear

for for sake of, I suppose, the cameras. It's like, dude, you're, you're, but that was, that's, you know who talks that way? And Coulter. She still has a little bit of a, because the British, the British, you know, if you came over the Mayflower or that was very important. And the shin thing, too. Yeah, there's certain things, it's still, it's very British. Also, you know what I've noticed, which I probably get in trouble for,

but now we're doing like a few things. We just signed with an agent. for like a book tour and stuff, like nothing fun or real. But why do all Hollywood agents sound the same, even if they're like from Jersey or Florida, there's like a Hollywood agent voice? Have you heard that?

I'm not going to try it because I'm terrible at accents. But you know what I'm talking about? Like they all kind of have like a weird... It's probably because they're all originally from New York or they used to be. Oh, you think that's one. But typically, typically in... Remember, remember, a Hollywood... Hollywood was a Jewish invention.

Okay? You know, when people are anti-Semitic, you know, I'm always like, all right, that's cool. But you do know that improv stand up even to a large extent, but certainly improv and certainly Hollywood, like movies. It was created and founded by really European, East European Jewish refugees. So was the whole garment. industry. You didn't know that. Right? So there were certain things. So when you were an agent, you were typically like you're, you were a bit of a rebel, your mother, if you were probably from

Brooklyn and your mother said, you're going to be, you know, you're going to either have your own business, you're going to join your uncle or your father's business. You're going to take it to the next level. You're going to be a lawyer or you're going to be a doctor. Yeah. There's no, you're not going to be a cop. You're not Irish. You know, you're not going to put your money in a, in a, in a, in a, mattress, you're not Italian, we're going to put it into a business. You got, and most, a lot of the Jewish refugees were, they could sew.

They were, they were Garmentos. So that's why they came to New York. But larger point is that there was, there was, if you were a bit of a black sheep, you went to Hollywood, tried to be an actor, played an Italian gangster. Wow. You were a producer when you realized the acting wasn't

where the money was, it was hard to do. You're like, maybe I can put people together. or you became an agent, right? But certainly a lot of the great comics, you know, all that Sid Caesar and Rob Reiner, why were they comics? Because in that culture, in the Jewish culture of New York, kids were indulged.

If you're British and you're of the aristocracy, you're seen and not heard. 100%. When you were a Jewish kid in, you know, the Lower East Side, and your whole family's crammed into a tent. sentiment, you're there and your voice is as loud as any adults. You can talk back to your parents. You can make everybody laugh. That was the Marx Brothers. Right. So the larger point I'm making is that traditionally the agents that were all in Hollywood were Jewish. And they all came from

kind of the same part of New York, same ecosystem. So, you know, yeah, like Robert Evans. They spoke a certain way. Yeah, they've got a vibe. There was just a way. It's just business. What do you know, there was a way of doing business, there was a language, and it was really mostly New York. People are always shocked with Donald Trump with the way he insults people or the way he's politically incorrect with his words. That's fucking New York. That's, that's construction site New York. It's a hundred percent of life. It doesn't matter that he was a blue blood.

He's also Irish and with German. So he wasn't necessarily like that British thing. His dad got his hands dirty. Oh, yeah. I mean, if you, I was joking with Tanner the other day. our creative director, like, thank God we're in the era that we're in now. Maybe it helps that I'm a woman and I'm a Latina. That's like a double checkbox.

Are you? Oh, yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, I'm white presenting, you know. But the, it's helpful. I present, I present female and white. Yes, exactly. If I could do an accent, I would do that.

But, you know, the stuff that we even say here, because we run a bunch of laundromats and car washes and, you know, roofing companies. So half the time I'm like Oh you know I'm not supposed to say that anymore If that was on the internet I'd be in a lot of trouble Which kind of like actually makes me think About so the other day you can be my therapist The other day I gave a speech like doesn't matter

You know to a what Not a small couple thousand people but It's a lot of people And I fucking bombed It was like I've never done that before I did a really bad job I was like over time I don't even know what happened

And like there was no reason, really. And like, what's interesting is, like, it didn't matter. Like, I wasn't going to die. Nothing mattered. And, but the reaction that I had from it was totally unreasonable. I was like, fuck, that was terrifying and awful and the worst thing ever. But have you, like, had that happen with jokes and stand up? I haven't could. I'm really good. You've never bombed ever? And did it feel awful? Yeah, yeah. And does it still? I mean, I've been doing it so long that I got my bag of tricks, right? So it's not going to...

So now you pull a rabbit out of my house. It's not going to have... Yeah, I'm not going to ever do an hour where... Yeah. You're not going to laugh. Yeah. Where's my camera? That was obnoxious.

Let me rephrase that. What I meant is that I'm never going to do an hour where you're not going to laugh. Yeah. Hard. Really hard. Is that my camera? That should be your special clip, actually. We should cut that. I want to do a video for you and do a little Instagram.

for your special. And I think that'll be really good. That's good. But in the beginning, like, do you remember the first time you really Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's so terrifying. I don't know if anybody, this is how you equate it. If you ever been in a real fight, like, where you don't know who the guy is in fun and you're going to be, like, you can't feel your legs. I don't care how much you train. I mean, maybe if you're, like, inoculated stress. If you're a regular dude like me and you're going to have to fight, you can't feel your legs. You just know, I'm like, I'll put my weight on my back foot. And I guess, here we go. You know, good luck.

It sucks. It's the same thing. I remember feeling that. I remember feeling that. I was like, I feel like I'm about to have a real fight with somebody. I don't know. I don't know.

He's going to kill me. I don't know who he is. You know, I don't know. You know what I mean? Yeah. Feeling of. And then you do it long enough.

And that just completely goes away. Yeah. Like, when I shoot my special, I won't be, I promise I won't be a little bit nervous. Yeah. I'm just interested in hitting every mark,

I suppose, hitting every beat. Yeah, well, then you get kind of levels of the end. I want to say what I want to say, and I want to be thematic about it, right? Not that anybody will watch it through because we don't. We all have TikTok brain now. Yep. You know, but for me, that's my diary of what I think is important, what I'm interested in.

Yeah. It's almost like you can't bomb hard enough for the audience at a certain point because you've got a base level that's quite good, but for yourself, you're just competing against yourself. What I would say to you, though, maybe the way to avoid that in the future is to really dial down on what you're saying. Sometimes when we're not quite sure, we get into this gray area. And it feels like I didn't see the speech, but it feels like when that happens, just take a look at whether or not you've really carved down to its essence what you're trying to say. What is your philosophy? What are your principles behind business that's what you're talking about? What are the mistakes people make?

you know and what are the shortcuts you can give people so they don't have to make the same mistakes I always say I'm older right so the reason you should listen to me

is not because I'm smarter I'm really not I'm not but I have made more mistakes than you have and I've wasted more time chasing the wrong shit so you know

I might be able to recognize when you're heading for a wall and if I tell you to turn the wheel a little bit just listen to me I'm an old guy. Yeah. I don't think we actually have enough older people around us as young people to get feedback.

Yeah, experience is. Because comics you guys do, that's like a thing. You know, you kind of... It's not really. Really? It's sort of is, but it's not. What do you mean? There's an irreverence to comedy.

There's not a community as much. It's more of a... It's more of a... It's really a solo thing. You know, it's like I remember when Rogan was... And I went hunting the first time we ever did Meteor. And I just, you know, he was like, hey, this is tough. We're representing the comedy.

community. And I said, yeah, you know that tight-knit bunch? And he started laughing really hard. It's true. It's like, we're all hopelessly individualistic and just a bunch of misfits. Actually, that makes good people, but I'm just saying. Well, it's funny you say that because I was looking at a study yesterday about how there's a study in Japan where people who laughed more frequently not only lived longer, like significantly longer, like 20 to 30 percent longer than their other peer group. and this was a long-form study over a series of decades, but also had a decrease in disabilities, so less Alzheimer's, less even macular degeneration,

so losing of your eyesight. And I thought that was really interesting, like laughing's good for you. I think we all kind of know that. Yeah. But specifically, laughter, could have even been individual where you watch something and laughed.

But what I thought was also interesting is then you have the flip side, which is there seems to be no increase in happiness for telling jokes, only for hearing them. Only for hearing them. Oh, that makes total sense. Right? Because when you're telling jokes, well, that's why comics are miserable.

I'm not. Yeah. But a lot of comics are, I mean, it's because, remember, there's a famous actor I won't go into because I'm a fan, but he saw me at a party. And it was, and I had met him before, but he wanted to talk to me because I was a comic. It's kind of cool, right? And I was dating my now wife. And it was cool to have this very famous person kind of like, you know, approach me and, you know, blah. And then what I realized is that, oh, he was using me as essentially an excuse to perform.

And I went, yeah, yeah, and I do that. So we all have this, when you're a performer, you have this unflattering shadow side, which is look at me. I want all the attention. I'm a vacuum cleaner. I have a lot of that in me. A lot of that in me. And it's not a very admirable trait. And it certainly doesn't make you happy.

It doesn't make you more happy when you're looking to be the center of the world. But you can replace that. You can replace that with trying to be, for lack of a better word, an artist. And what does that mean? Again, doing something original that no one has seen, surprising yourself.

And that's what I do. do now. And so then your comedy goes from being, I'm not saying I'd do this, but certainly the idea would be, I'm of service. Let me, let me do something to make you laugh. And that feels good, man. Yeah. That feels good. You're connecting with people and you're making them laugh and you're, you're doing it because you can. And as a result, it's because you should. I was put on this earth, not to invent, you know, rockets, but to be a jackass and get you to forget about your life for a little bit. Yeah. Do you think you can be really funny and be happy? It seems like a lot of comedians are dark and twisted. Yeah. Yeah, but I don't know. I think Rogan's very happy. I think a lot of

people have, you know, it just depends on your personality trait. Maybe a better way is that when you are a dark person, there's very little open to you, but you cope with just trying to be funny about this brutal thing called life. You were born, you know, a lot of times shorter than other guys, weaker than other guys, not as athletic in any way. You never had any victories. You never had women like you. These are traumatic things for men to go through when you're an adolescent and stuff.

But you're funny, right? You're funny. And now you get, like, the cool kids think you're, great and that you get addicted to that because you're accepted so that's where a lot of comedy comes from for me other than comedy came from being moved constantly i was always thrown into a whole different set of kids i you know hey we're we're we're moving to sardiaia but i have a dog i've been here for two years i got yeah now you'll figure it out we're moving to lebanon i know but i have another dog here and i have a snake what are we going to do ah yeah we'll find a home

yeah right what the fuck all right see you there everybody There's no email. No, bye-bye. And here's a new group of kids in the middle of the school year. And I learned very quickly that don't be the last guy picked on a team, be a little bit. Look, that was coordinated enough to be, you know, not a hindrance on a sports team. And also I was, but I got good at making people laugh quickly.

And I got really good at reading what people were ashamed of and what they were proud of. That was my superpower, my communication superpower, if I'm. May is I was really good at figuring out what people were ashamed of. We all have the side of us that we heard. And I decided we're proud of. And I think if you want to get to, if you want people to like you and if you want people to feel comfortable and you, you help them hide what they're ashamed of, but you accentuate and you highlight and you speak out what it is they're proud of.

And we're all that way as human beings. That's so good. You know, it's funny because it's true. Like we have this in-cell movement in the U.S. now. We have, God, I read a study the other day that we have 55% more single women from 2000 to 2023. And then, of course, it makes sense sort of what's happening even politically in our country because they vote predominantly Democrat and men increasingly of their age vote conservative or Republican. And the women increasingly don't want to actually date those who have this different perspective,

which is very silly to me. But what I think is really interesting is this in-cell movement is a lot about Tinder. I mean, I'm friends with Sean Rad. I like him a lot, the guy who created Tinder. But we were talking the other day, I'm like, fuck, man.

I mean, the app is inherently swipe, swipe, visual, and like, what have you done? You know? If you put that you're not over six feet, yeah. You know, there's all these weird things. Right.

So 10% or 5% of the men get all the girls? Yeah, it's bizarre. And so I think actually it'd be really interesting to have more of like a comedian perspective on for young men like yeah okay you're not rich you're not maybe smarter than everybody else you're not better looking but fuck me if you can make somebody laugh we we show one you can make them live longer two it makes them happier and three i bet a lot more chicks like you yeah but you know what um men are terrified this fourth wave feminism yeah has gone from fighting for equal rights to saying

men want to kill and rape you and so uh that's and and and i would with so social media, a woman can say anything. And I know so many young, my relatives who are living in a world where they're very aware that they could do something in college and somebody doesn't have a good experience with them sexually or intimately. And 10 years later, 15 years later, 20 years later, they say X, Y, and Z. They get a story. What do you get? A statement. But you're done. You're done. and they're very aware of that. So there's a lot of that, too.

There has men, women have been pitted against each other in this. It was always an already adversarial in the United States. It was always adversarial. It was always like, you know, there was this thing where boys and girls separate almost voluntarily at six years old. And they don't really come together until college. So when you're in college, all of a sudden, now you're living with a girl. a woman or a, you know, a girl, and you're a boy or you're a man. But typically it's a boy and a girl, and you're living with somebody,

and you've been around guys your whole life, and she has a different consideration. And you think she's crazy. And she thinks you're insensitive. And it's like, and you have no, there's no mechanism, there's no bridge in which to work it out. You can go to a therapist, but then he's going to be a freaking therapist. Guys aren't taught that. No. What do you mean a therapist?

It's just like, stop being crazy. Oh, that's helpful, right? You're not given those tools. And I remember my girlfriend fell asleep during Raging Bull, my favorite movie. And I was, like, so outraged. I was like, how the fun of you fall into the greatest movie? I broke up with her. I was like, she can't appreciate Raising Bull.

Hey, dumbass! Dumbass! Now, of course, at 57, my wife is watching, and my wife's smart and great, and I love her, but she's my favorite person, but she's watching, love is blind and can't get enough of it. And it's getting all involved. I'm like, oh, Jesus, you know, I can't watch one minute of that shit. But it's just what she's interested in. I'm interested in stats when it comes to fighting or, you know, in UFC or in, I don't know, in football.

Yeah. Which is different, man. Totally different. Yeah, I think one of the things that saved Chris in my marriage is we've sort of allowed each other to not give a fuck about what the other person's talking about. And so if at a certain point he's telling me a story that I literally couldn't care less then, I just go. Yeah, it's so weird. Like the first episode of Gossip Girl really got me because she was wearing And so, and then he'll do the opposite to me.

Like, I was cleaning the Glock and what happened is the hammer pole And I was like, fucking don't care, fine. There you got. Okay? And we just have a little joke because it doesn't mean I don't love you. I just literally couldn't care less about that thing you're talking about. Which should be fine. By the way, thank God. You thank God. Yeah, because also, I mean, I love hanging out with my person and it sounds like you do too.

But you got to also like have some girl time, have some dude time. Well, my wife will tell me about her dream. Now, if I did that with a buddy of mine, he'd be like, hey, bro, hey, is this a dream you're telling me about? And, you know, like, the other day, she was telling me a story, I'm not listening to you. And then she's going on, I'm like, yeah, and I'm trying to do something else. And then, and then this, this, like, ship comes down, and I go,

hey, are you telling me about a dream? Like, you tell me about, I'm trying to, and she goes, yeah, I go, I'm not listening to you about a dream. Nothing happened. It's a dream. What do you mean a ship? I'm fucking trying to do something. I'm paying bills.

Like, how dare you? You take 20 minutes of my day. To be fair, to be fair, I have a friend, shout at Sheena. She always tells me about her dreams. I also don't care about the dream. I think we need a moratorium on dreams. You present male. I know. Damn it. I know. But I think, yeah, no, I think we've gotten too into talking about ourselves sometimes. Not that Shana does that, but the dream thing is funny. Okay, I want to talk about one other thing. Like, that's a little bit about this. You know, we were talking about it when we were first, like, going to do the pod. today is a weird week, right? We've got like, we got Trump on Rogan. We've got you on Rogan next today. We had, I was, I watched Tucker Carlson have Rob Schneider come out before him. I love Rob. Uh-huh. And, and then I saw Andrew Schultz had Trump. Like, what is going on with comedians? And, like, are they the new voice of reason? When did this happen? You've been in this game a long time and know a bunch of these guys. I never would have predicted this, like 10 years ago? Well, Trump has a young son, Barron. And Barron's very keyed in to what's cool. And Barron is a guy who's looking at his dad and going, hey, dad, you want to get young people.

Get on Theo Vaughn. Yeah. That was a mysterious. Get on, you know, get on Joe Rogan. Get on all the podcasts I listen to. And that's what's going on. Is, is, and to Trump's credit, and, you know, he's, he's, he's, he's, he, he's, he, he's, he, he's, he, he's, He's comfortable among the bros.

And you can say what you want about bro comics and bro podcasts, but that's what men are listening to. And they're listening to it because it's, first of all, it's also long form. So when you hear Trump talk for three hours, or Bernie Sanders talk for three hours, or wherever it might be for three hours, you not only get a very different perspective

on who this person is, because you will settle. You can't sell for three hours. You end up settling into who you really are. And that's a very, very different and new thing. And so your celebrity and your shine is no good here, my friend. And it used to be forever that when we saw a celebrity, whoever it was, they were on Johnny Carson or Conan O'Brien or Jay Leno for five minutes.

And the questions were prepared and you can be mysterious. You could be Johnny Depp and answer very few questions and dressed like a pirate and we were like he's so cool and Hollywood was a mystery and everything was a mystery and how they keep their bodies that way was a mystery and then along comes You know the internet and cameras everywhere and all of that all that facade goes away and all of the sudden all that Sheen and you got a guy like Rogan who is not selling you anything. He's just talking and he's not interviewing you He's just having a conversation with you. And we get a sense of who you really are when you're just sitting around.

And I think it's very telling that Kamala Harris wasn't willing to do. And I understand she thinks it's hostile territory. And it is. And I understand she feels like she's probably walking into a no-win situation because Rogan's going to ask you questions and he's going to be rogan.

And he's good and he's smart. And she's just not comfortable there. Yeah. But I think it was a mistake. Because if she had If she had sat down for three hours and spoken from the heart and really told us what she thinks, really told us what she really thinks about the border, what she really thinks about the economy, what she really thinks about fracking, what she really thinks about taxes, how much of the federal government

should you be working for every day? What percentage? What percentage? 50% is that fair? How many people? You know, 1% of the population pays over 50% of the taxes or something like that. 10% pays 90%. You know, I'd like to hear these conversations, but you're still trying to sell a concept like joy to the American people.

Is that what you're trying to do? You think we're that dumb? Is that what you're doing Oprah? When Oprah's like, joy, you know, I really want to be like, you're better than that. You're lying to us. And it's not about Trump or Kamala Harris. But you're not being respectful, which is another way of saying you're not representing us because you don't think we're worth it.

And more importantly, you think we're dumb. The average American, and I am an average American, I'm a capitalist. I have a business. I have to, if I don't put butts in my seats when I go out and just stand up, I got a problem. I got a problem, real problem. I pay for it, okay? And most of us as Americans can't, we pay a price for being wrong. If I miscalculate, if I have a business, I pay a real price.

So I live in a world of objective reality. And when you don't, and when you start talking to me about concepts like joy, when you start talking to me about the problem in the United States is that we're racist and transphobic and homophobic, when you say that somebody trying to run a business or trying to put their kids through school or just trying to make enough money so their kids can do the after-school baseball program, All of us go, I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know where you live because you live in an area code I can't afford anyway. You don't pay a price for being wrong. You make your living with your mouth by talking. And I'm up early, man, and I don't see this. I don't see that America. I'm trying to get food out on the table for my customers. And I don't care if you're a... What do you mean gender neutral bathrooms?

What are you talking about? I don't even think about that stuff. I have no idea what you're talking about. I've been going to my daughter's baseball, I mean, my daughter's, you know, lacrosse games or tennis games, whatever the fuck sport is. I've been going to her games

ever since she was seven years old trying to get her a scholarship because I can afford it. And you want to put men in there? You want to put biological men who can come in and shatter records and get those scholarships? You want to do that to me

after I've been a mom and I've taken my kids to all the... Fuck you. Fuck you. You're not American. You're not even a real human being. You're talking to me from some, you philosopher kings, you're talking to me from the Beltway, you're talking to me from Silicon Valley.

I don't even know who you are, man. I don't even know who you are. You live in, you have so much money, it's ridiculous. So is it a wonder, is it a wonder that most of us are a little bit suspicious, a little bit, feel a little bit, non-unrepresented by that machine over there called the left wing? It has nothing to do. It's not saying that Democrats, traditional Democrats, don't have something to offer.

It doesn't mean I'm fucking a far right guy. I'm not. It just means I'd like a little objective reality here, man. That's so true. Well, I think that's one of the problems with getting too much cash is, you know, I think that it's wrong that we don't talk about money. I think we got to talk about money more because money is really just one thing. It's just I get to assert my will more on you and you get to assert it less on me.

The more I have on it, the more I push back on the world, then I create my own reality with this green piece of paper. That's a great way to put it. That's it. That's it. And for some reason, as we get richer, we don't talk about money anymore. It's not okay to talk about money anymore. In fact, it's like scammy and lowbrow and whatever. No, it's fucking up.

You think it's that way because if you can get people to believe that we shouldn't share the only thing that actually creates a protective measure of freedom, then we have less of it, which is where we're at today. And so I remember when I first got on the internet, I was like, fuck, I don't, you know, after you make some money, you don't really want to talk about it. I mean, Hollywood's a perfect example. Nobody ever talks about money in Hollywood. They don't talk about how much they make. They don't talk about what they are.

Most of the time, actually, they just try to make themselves look normal again. They're just like, remember back when I stole candy bars, you haven't eaten a candy bar in 37 years. Like, you didn't. That's not even a real thing anymore. Right. And that's okay that it's not real. It's awesome that you transcend it somehow. But, like, I never really liked that, which kind of...

But the American Republic's really cool and very unique in the sense that we... We... You can grow rich and you can show it off. You know, when Donald Trump said... Yeah. They said, do you think that Mitt Romney... Do you think Mitt Romney, it's a liability that he's so rich? He's not rich.

I'm rich. And the reason that Americans... The difference is... The American experiment is beautiful because when the reason we don't have... pitchforks outside and the rich don't get, you know, guillotine and lynched is because every American knows that they, too, could one day be a millionaire. So there's a potential. The potential to be a millionaire is huge in the American spirit. And it's a large part of the glue that keeps this republic working. You're right. Do you know the percentage of millionaires that are

self-made in the U.S.? 79%, which you would never see on the news, right? 79%. And I think that's a really good reminder. And also, they don't fucking stay there, which is a perfect point about being in business. Because most small business owners, 90% of our cash is in our businesses. Yes. We don't even, we don't, you know, we're not rolling around in a dough. And also like when people get mad about Donald. Even billionaires. No, that's what I said. I know people who have a billion, they, they, the huge money, it's all wrapped up in stock. Oh, 100%. And, you know, and one of my team members always jokes because, you know, you come on these podcasts and like, what's the thing that you spent the most amount of money on ever? Like, do you ever get asked that question?

Yeah. And I jokingly, I said it just accidentally out loud the first time, but I was like, well, people. And I was like, I don't mean it that way. But like I just, you end up hiring more people in business because that's how you make a business grow. Yeah. And like, I think that's the real answer for most people. That's interesting too. I wouldn't have answered that. But yeah, it's probably unreasonable that I have. Wait, I want to talk about making money in comedy. So like I went to a comedy show the other day at the comedy store in L.A. And it was incredible. It was like, there were like maybe like 20 comments. that went through kind of rapidly. Whitney Cummings was there, who was like a big name. I like her a lot. And a bunch of other ones, I can't remember all the names, but a couple other big names. And it was, I don't know, maybe like a two-hour show, I guess,

and 60 people in the audience. And so I'm doing the math. I'm like, nobody's making money. That's not where you make money. How do you make $25 for that? You make $25. No. So wait, wait, Whitney Cummings has to go there for $15.

No, but she's not doing it for that. You're doing it just to stay sharp and you're doing it because it's fun and stuff like that. So it's like a podcast. almost. You come for free. Yeah, you make your money on the road. Okay, so how does that work? Exactly. You charge a certain amount for tickets. You get the door, or you get a guarantee, you get 8% of the door, or you get a piece of the alcohol sales. And it's just all depends on how your agent works it. And if you can sell a theater twice in a night,

you'll make a lot of money. Define a lot. So like in, in, you know. So the comics that you've, the big comics, um, are making, 20 to 30 million a year. On touring. Yeah. Or on everything. On touring. And that's because they're doing like, I don't know, 50, 60.

Some of them are making $700 grand a night. On a night. Okay. But it's not just from ticket sales. They get a percentage of alcohol and then merch and whatever. It's just you're able to sell, you know, Matt Rife, I think sold a $65 million deal or something like that with Live Nation, something like that. Oh, so he gets guarantees up front. Yeah.

But people, there are especially a lot of women. like love Matt. Dude, great demographic, too. Yeah, and he's beautiful, but he's also a great guy and he's also

works really hard at comedy and he's also really respectful. I know Matt's since he was 17. This kid's been working his ass off. And he's incredible at social media. It's just that he's just, he never always was. He's just a kid who,

you know, he's just a, he's a beautiful looking human being. But Matt's also a guy who's, he's also a good guy who really wants to be good at comedy and works really hard. had it and something just hit and then a lot of people a lot of young girls were like I a lot of

women in general are like I want he's delicious he's delicious he's delicious and he's funny and I want to be I just want to go see him it's like a rock star is that what they say about you too constantly naturally yeah yeah I haven't even done my hair I haven't done my hair I'm getting I'm gonna get a hair transplant why because it's free because somebody's paying for it Seriously? Yep. And I'm going to get 2,500 graphs. So you think I'm hot now.

I am. I cannot wait until I come in and I'm going to be like that. Yep. And I'm going to get my face tighten. Yep. I'm not done. And then I'm going to get,

I'm finally going to go on testosterone and maybe some animal or de-anabal. I don't know what the, I don't know the names of the steroids, but know this. My skin will be tight, vainy as fuck. I'm going to shave and I'm going to tan.

And I'm coming in here, and I will be in a tank top. And I'm going to get tattoos. I don't have one tattoo, but I'm getting tattoos. What's the name of this podcast? The Big Deal. Yeah.

The Big Deal. That actually tracks. Right on my tits. But you're not going to be able to read it because of all the fucking divvets. All the divvets. I hope you read Braille. AI is moving fast across the enterprise. But without visibility, it's just chaos.

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I think we should go to this special. Okay, so you don't make a ton of comedy unless you're doing a shit ton of tours. You make money. I make money in comedy. Doing tours, though. Like, you can't really make it anywhere else. Like, where else you're special? You can make money on.

special? No. That's your, that's your infomercial. Whoa. Interesting for you to sell other things. I mean, you'll get paid, you know, sometimes, but that's not where people are making their real money. Interesting. Tour. It's just like music. So what happens if you want to stop? No. Musicians don't mean money off their, you know, their album and make money live touring. So you have to Taylor Swift it. You got to have like this whole ecosystem around you. Yeah, I met her a long time ago one time and she had just come off a tour and it was a 365-day tour. And man, they, she was on a bus. or a private plane, I think literally every night. I mean, they would come and play Tokyo for three

days and then they'd go and go to London, or they'd just do this tour. But I mean, it's crazy. That's really hard. That's really hard. I don't think. I don't think it. And you know what? It kills me with Taylor Swift that I am most impressed about, that she can make that surprised face every single time she goes on tour for like 25 years. And I still buy it. Yeah, I don't, she's, you know, special human being. I don't know. Yeah, that's next level. Part of us being able to sing the same song over and over again, I can never do it. Neither.

Yeah, but she can do it. So you don't do the same jokes. Like, how does that work? Like, for a total normie. Do you carry, like, a joke book around and then when you say something funny, you write it down? If I end up doing, writing for me is a mindset you're always writing. But if I end up doing a show, I'm like, so I'm going to shoot this special in January, and then the horror sets in.

because now I have to, like, write a whole new hour. I throw it all away, and it's, like, so difficult not to repeat yourself. It's so difficult not to be kind of on the same themes. It's so difficult not to – it's just so hard. So I'll go through six months of misery and maybe a year of writer's block and feel like a piece of shit and not like myself and all that. Just old standard shit. That happens, like, once a year.

How often do you do a special? Probably every two or three years. Okay. Really three is. Two years is like not enough time for me. I got to, you know, I wrote right pretty fast, but to let it really settle in. Yeah. Like just doing this, like this is going to be, I don't know, since man tears, I don't know, almost, almost three years.

Maybe it's two years. Why? I don't know. But man, it's like, you know, and then, and it's everything. Talk about like every drop. It's like, it's everything I can do. It's my best. It's the best I can do.

The best. And do you get only one shot or do you film three? I'll do I'll do you chop them together like the best parts? Yeah, you can. Okay. But either way, it's just going to be a bitch. Interesting. It's so hard.

I bet. That's not hard. Shooting is not hard. It's just that. It's the actual content. Then I have to be like, I got to write new jokes. I got to write a new, I got to be thematic. Good luck.

Yeah. I just want to quit. No, it's going to be great. I can't wait to see it. Yeah. What about how, like, kind of tech. And maybe this isn't how it works, but how do you start thinking about being funny? Like, how does one become funny?

I don't think you think about being funny. I think you have to do something very different. I think I believe you start with personal questions. What am I afraid of? Who am I pretending to be? Who do I want to be? Who am I really? How do I want to die?

How do I not want to die? What do I want to say before I die? What do I want to think right before I die? What will I regret before I die? You know, what do I honestly revere? You know, what am I really afraid of? What am I pretending I'm afraid of? Get into those questions, those personal questions.

And I think that anybody who writes anything, whether it's music or it's a movie or anything, is you're trying to answer a primary question. You're wrestling with a question. My obsession has been, what is a man? What is courage? What is it? What is masculinity? How do you define it?

You know, am I a provider and a protector? What does that really mean? And what is courage? And what is toughness and all these things that I grew up trying to be? What is real strength? What is it? And those are the obsessions I've always had. And I try to write about.

And, you know, for me, they find their way in a funny, through funny channels. Yeah. But, you know, think about, so what's a book? When you read a novel, you know, the great novels, I mean, the theme of any novels, so the theme, the way to define theme, is it's essentially the author's argument for how to behave in the world. Yeah, it is.

It is. And so I think that, frankly, my special is that way. You know, that I hope. I hope it's, I hope it's the, I hope. thematically, I get what I want to say across. Yeah. And so you actually start, maybe that's why so often comics these days are a little bit like

philosophers, because you're starting from really questions. You do. When you're younger, you're trying to just be funny. It's English on a ball. You know, but, but... What does that mean? That's a pool expression. I stole that from Rogan. But it's

a, it's a pool expression. Like you put a lot of spin on the ball, but it doesn't mean you can run a table. It doesn't mean you're a great pool player. You're good at trick shots. Yeah. You're like the Harlan globe shot to the main. Okay. Sports analogy. Look at that. But it's true. It's great. Okay. So that's, then you get older and you want to say something. Right. I guess that's sort of even like you watch the evolution of Dave Chappelle.

And like today, you know, I remember we got to sit down and watch him and Rogan when he was doing it here during COVID, which felt really special because the world was so shut down. But I remember sitting there thinking the most interesting part of this is not that we're laughing, although there is laughter. It's like the command of big questions and like watching one human really deeply dive into it live. I was watching Dave. I was watching Dave in tiny shows in New York 20, 30 years ago. Interesting. Did you know then? 28 years ago.

Can you tell that somebody is going to be great when you first see them? No. Yeah, in a way you can certainly tell somebody's going to be successful. Success is a mindset that you're probably partially born with. Rogan was going to be successful no matter what. He was a bulldog. But part of it's also growing up. How did you grow up?

Did you grow up without a dad where the world was really dangerous and you had to figure out how to navigate the world? Was your heartbroken at a very early age and you realized nobody was coming and it was all up to you? were you 50 cent where you had no one to go home to and then you got shot nine times and you bled all your fear out in the back of that cad you know who were you when did you meet chaos

you know a great deal of world leaders lost almost I don't know some crazy percentage of them lost at least one parent before the years of 12 usually two and if you're taught how to navigate that if you're taught how to navigate loss

or you have some you have the reserves or maybe the imagination. Maybe you were wired to deal with that. Maybe you had a stronger sea wall. You'll come out much stronger. I think it was Nietzsche. If I have children, if I ever had children, I would wish upon them deprivation and loss and uncertainty

because that's the only way you kind of become a fully realized human being. And if it visits you young enough, as tragic as it is, Somebody's there to help you. If you can find one outlet, will you learn how to accomplish something? Will you learn how to be good at it? You're going to always carry that baggage. But it makes for a strong piece of steel.

Yeah. I've never actually met a successful human who hasn't been through something that almost literally destroyed them. That's right. I think that's tracks. That's an important thing. As I'm at my age, you know,

if something really bad happened to you, just keep moving. forward because it's it's it may be the best thing that never happened to you when you look back on it or or as awful as it is you may if if a gun was to your head if you do it right and you keep moving forward you will probably say much I know you won't believe me now if you're going to it now but you'll probably say I wouldn't have changed it it saved my soul it saved my soul and I I know that's traumatic, but I believe it. Yeah, I get a little chills on that one.

I think that's true. That's because I'm bringing my voice down, and I'm looking at the camera, and I'm saying it in the air. And I didn't use Catherine Hepburn's voice, but I should have. Do you have that whispery? Yes, because I've got a great deal of soda in my voice, don't I? I do. I know. I put everyone to sleep about it.

Let's end with this one. I found a rather high number of videos of you and Brendan Schwab physically fighting online. What's the deal with that? Because Brennan needs to learn. He needs to learn. And I don't like sometimes that he's disrespectful and I'm older. And I come at him. I come at him.

And sometimes as a, I guess, a baboon, that's British for baboon, I got to fight the bear. and a baboon let's call me a dog a dog's never going to beat a bear but a dog can take the fight to the bear and just give him the what for and in the dog's heart as he's being crushed he knows at least

at least he had the balls to jump into the maw into the belly of the beast and part of it's just like sometimes I like to feel what it's like to be killed by a grown man that easily because it keeps me in check he's very large

you have no idea you have no idea you know it's it's he had this recent thing with Nate Diaz and I like Nate and all that but yeah you know like you you have to understand that Brendan is a heavyweight and Brendan walks around at 250 but a lot of times 260 there's not a lot of fat on him he's bam bam he's about as strong as your average gorilla okay and he's a legit black belt and jujitsu okay and um I've seen him tap the most famous people you can imagine I've seen him tap the most famous people you can imagine I've

seen him tap with ease Olympians. I've seen him crush very famous fighters, very famous. And they're all 200 plus pounds. I've seen it with my own eyes, many times. He never talks about it, but I've seen it. I've seen it. So if you are under

a heavyweight and you're spouting off, just know that he's a bear and there's a time where he's going to grab you. Now, I have, he was taking a nap one time. I got, I jumped on him. I put him in a deep judo, a deep judo. I had my hips out.

I had, I had a gable grip. I had him here. I had him pinched deep. I had them right here. And I was like, say something. Say it. And, and, I mean, you're not getting out of that. Look at this shit.

Look at that right there. I wish you guys could see what I'm working with because there's, I got chimp strength right there. I'm here. I'm pulling tight. I've got his head and arm. and you're not going anywhere. And all he does is giggle. No.

Yep, he giggles and then the curtain shuts. And then reality goes like that on me. And all of a sudden, now I'm in, I mean, I'm basically, I'm being, I'm in a position that you don't want to be in. I mean, I'm basically his bitch. Oh, my God. So I think with the special in January, when we get your, like, number one Netflix spot, maybe that needs to be the end of the show.

Just you and Brendan? Just fighting? Just fighting? Wrestling? Yeah, it's like the next stage. just like UFC and comedy together. I don't think anybody's done it. The problem is every time I tried to do that,

I tried going takedowns with him, and I got a contusion on my ear. This side of my face was read for about 11 days. All right. We're going to need a workshop. I'm getting too old. I don't think it's perfect right now. I still do jiu-jitsu.

I rolled the other day with a bunch of 20-somethings. I couldn't look left for like 10 days. That's like after you workout with Tim Kennedy. Oh, is that okay. I tried to grapple with Tim on a beach in the South of France, very romantic. And he, I just remember being out on all fours,

and he was on top of me, on top of me, and he very appropriately drew a heart in the sound. He's such a crazy person. He was controlling me with his legs. I'm a grown man. I can say, and you talk about grizzly bear eyes an odd amount of time,

but he has those eyes. Yeah, he has those like, just dark shark eyes. He'll take your head. He'll smile the whole time. No, no, yeah, yeah. Like a psychopath. He'll kill you.

I love that man also. One of my favorite people on the planet. All right. Brian Callan, thank you so much for being here today. I can't wait to see the special. I can't wait. You're on tour. So I'm going to definitely come to a few of those.

And on Instagram. When do you think it's hilarious? Well, you could tell me when you wanted to. And we can align it. Just got to Briancallin.com. Now I'm being, God, I'm being all over Buffalo. I'll be all over Florida. 100%.

And they should actually go to your Instagram first and follow because there's some hysterical videos on that. You're also funny. You want my millions. Oh, just a plus.