BigDeal - #72 What They Don’t Tell Fathers About Raising Sons: Green Beret Nick Freitas

Episode Date: June 5, 2025

Codie and Nick delve into the complexities of masculinity, fatherhood, and the roles of men and women in society. They discuss the pressures young men face today, the importance of strong father-son r...elationships, and how women influence men's character. They discuss the necessity of understanding violence as a societal option, the value of entrepreneurship, and the evolving landscape of education that prioritizes practical experience over traditional methods. Want help scaling your business to $1M in monthly revenue? ⁠Click here⁠ to connect with my consulting team. Chapters 00:00 Intro 05:00 Fatherhood and Raising Sons 10:04 The Role of Women in Men's Lives 15:04 Mindset and Resilience 19:58 Building Relationships with Daughters 24:56 The Importance of Truth and Communication 30:07 The Nature of Dangerous Dads 37:22 The Importance of Measured Response 40:18 Navigating Confrontation in Politics 44:20 The Role of Violence in Society 47:31 The Value of Real-World Experience 52:49 Entrepreneurship and Education 57:52 The Future of Education and Resilience 01:04:29 Optimism for America’s Future MORE FROM BIGDEAL: 🎥 ⁠YouTube⁠ 📸 ⁠Instagram⁠ 📽️ ⁠TikTok⁠ MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ: 🎥 ⁠YouTube⁠ 📸 ⁠Instagram⁠ 📽️ ⁠TikTok⁠ OTHER THINGS WE DO: 🫂 ⁠Our community⁠ 📰 ⁠Free newsletter⁠ 🏦 ⁠Biz buying course⁠ 🏠 ⁠Resibrands⁠ 💰 ⁠CT Capital⁠ 🏙️ ⁠Main St Hold Co⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Young men are going to revolt. You cannot tell men that every aspect of their masculinity is bad and toxic and evil, and they're responsible for all the world's ills and expect to get away with that long term because they're the ones that fight the wars, police, the streets, et cetera. Today, we have a treat. We're talking to Nick Freitas. Not your typical politician, by the way. He's a former Green Brewery. He is a battle-tested freedom fighter. He is a total badass. They're either going to be the people that stand on the wall and guard against the barbarians or they will be the barbarians. What do you think influence young women have over young men? When a man has a woman that he just desperately is in love with, oh, he'll move mountains. I think young men more than anything want not just something to fight for, they want someone to fight for. You think dads should be dangerous?
Starting point is 00:00:45 Yes. Tell me why. Because they're worthless if they're not. A primary job of a man is to protect and to provide. I have yet to find a single woman that is genuinely attracted to a man that she doesn't feel safer. How do you think you raise a son today to be that? I guess I was watching one of your stories the other day. And it was about fatherhood.
Starting point is 00:01:12 And one in particular I thought was funny was about, and I'm going to like mispronounce it, but the agogi with your son and the story about your wife. You told that story? Yeah. So yeah, we were watching Real Steel. You know that movie? No. So it's a movie with Hugh Jackman. think rocky, but with robots.
Starting point is 00:01:33 Copy. Right? So, um, so, um, so anyways, we're,
Starting point is 00:01:38 we're watching the show and these robots are fighting. And it is. It's kind of this really inspirational, rocky style thing. And, uh, you know, Luke's watching. He's just kind of intent,
Starting point is 00:01:46 watching the screen. And I looked over at Tina. I got my two daughters there as well. And I asked, right, I said, do you know what the agogi is? She goes, it's the agogi.
Starting point is 00:01:53 I said, that's where the Spartans sent their children starting age seven to prepare them for the process of of becoming a man within the, the, Spartan city state. And then I said, watch this. And Luke was about six or seven at the time. And I said, hey, buddy, come here.
Starting point is 00:02:10 And we, you know, wrestled and stuff like that. But this time I wrested just a little bit harder. Right. And so we got the hands up and just enough to kind of like, not enough to hurt him, but enough to jar him. And he just like something changed. And he just tackled me and we're like wrestling. And Tina goes, what just happened?
Starting point is 00:02:31 my little boy. And I said, oh, no, no, he's not yours anymore. He belongs to me now. What a line, by the way. That is such a good lie. I would have been proud. I was like, that's a great. Well, and we just went to his basic training graduation. So he's in infantry school now. And right after that, he goes to RASP, which is the Ranger Assessment Program. So, but I will say, he still, that boy still loves his mama like nobody's business. Of course. But I think it's, that's beautiful. And I saw that about your son. Did you have allergies when it was happening? Or did you keep a stoic face?
Starting point is 00:03:06 I guess some dumbass was cutting onions. I kept it together. I was very proud of them, though. I'm very proud of them. But, yeah. Would you go back into the military, like if you could do it all over again? Oh, yeah, yeah. Which is interesting because I got out of such political frustration with the military
Starting point is 00:03:26 and general frustration with respect to the way we conduct foreign policy. but no, if I had to do it again, I would. And I had a lot of people, let me turn this off, I had a lot of people kind of asked me about that. It was kind of this idea of, well, with everything going on, and I was like, okay, with everything going on, do you want to be defended by the sort of people that would only join if the political conditions were correct,
Starting point is 00:03:51 or do you want to be defended by people that love the country regardless? And not to mention that, but it's also this question of, I don't get to tell him whether or not. not to do it. He's got to think about this. He's got to pray about it. He's got to decide what he feels led to do. And then he's got to do it.
Starting point is 00:04:09 And then, yeah, don't be wrong. I was, I was nervous. Of course, now he's, I don't know if you saw it, but on Twitter when I did this thing where I was a proud dad moment. I was putting on his patch. Underneath that, Pete Heggzeth said, hey, congratulations, Luke, do us proud. And I was like, I just screwed you over with all of your drill
Starting point is 00:04:30 sergeants for the rest of basic training. Oh, no. Yeah, I feel like only somebody who's in the military knows exactly what you mean by that. Oh, you're Nixon. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that'll be fun. You know, I'm curious because you talk a lot about masculinity and young men today and what's happening in the world around us. And yet you've raised a young man that seems to be really on the path of being strong and resilient in the things we think of as traditional masculinity how do you think you raise a son today to be that? What did you do? I don't see I don't, and not to be flippant, I don't think it's all that difficult as long as you just ignore everything modern culture is telling you with respect to masculinity and boys. I think a lot of it is somewhat
Starting point is 00:05:18 inherent. Those masculine traits are there for a reason. I think God put him there for a reason. It's like anything else, whether you're talking about masculine traits or feminine traits, there's a positive manifestation and there's a negative manifestation. So yeah, if you use your tendency towards strength, aggression and competition to hurt other people to get what you want, you're an ass clown, right? But who's going to stop you? Well, you're going to be stopped by probably a different man that also has that, you know, inclination towards strength, power, aggression, competition, but is actually applying it toward a noble purpose. And I think young men more than anything want a noble purpose and they want not just something to fight for,
Starting point is 00:05:57 they want someone to fight for. I've said this before when I was talking to a group of predominantly young women. I said, look, it is not your job to make a man a good man, but you will be shocked at how much influence you have over that process. So, yeah. What do you think influence young women have over young men and turning them into strong men? Oh, I die for my wife. But more than that, I'll live for.
Starting point is 00:06:22 Right. Like that's the, that's another thing, too. We very quickly moved to the, oh, I die for something. because it's a representative of the ultimate sacrifice, right? Like love have, you know, no greater than this than you give your life for a friend. But the fact that, I mean, my wife wants me, I want to be a better man. I want to live up to the image that my wife has for me. And so I think speaking, you know, again, not speaking for all of masculinity, but I've just noticed that when a man has a woman that he just desperately is in love with,
Starting point is 00:06:56 Oh, he'll move mountains, right? He'll absolutely move mountains. And so I do think they play just an incredible role in that, I mean, the flippant kind of joke is that men civilize the wild and women civilize men. But there's something to that. Yeah, you know, it's interesting because I think with my husband, for instance, it's the same. I mean, he's a total animal, super aggressive and all over the place. but, you know, the most loyal, hardworking person I know. And I do think, you know, there's no stronger foundation than having an incredible partnership.
Starting point is 00:07:31 I'm always kind of an awe, actually, of people who do it by themselves. I cannot imagine, actually. Yeah, I don't get it. I don't get it. And I understand that some people are just incredibly driven and focused. But I was speaking to a group of students a while back, and I talk a lot. And I talk a lot about freedom and liberty, especially from the political side. But I actually told me, I said, I think I need to apologize that I've placed so much emphasis on freedom, not because it's not a worthy goal, but because ultimately it's the freedom to do what.
Starting point is 00:08:08 And what you're going to find is that most of the things in your life that give you purpose and meaning don't give you more freedom. They give you more responsibilities. You know, being married does not make you freer. It does make you better, especially if you have a good marriage and a relationship. Um, having kids definitely does not make you freer like quite the opposite. I assure you. Nothing, nothing, uh, gives you less freedom with respect to your time and money than, than having children. And yet, hold your child. And, and I mean, you, you, you want to trade it for a heartbeat. And so, um, yeah, I think that that meaning and purpose that we get through that relationship, not just in trying to
Starting point is 00:08:43 attain a goal, but trying to build something with another person is incredible. Yeah. Not easy, but worth it. Oh, yeah. A thousand percent. Um, you know, it's interesting because, We're going to jump all around, but I was thinking about you in particular. You know, you were a green beret, you won elected office, and a difficult to win election. You've held that for many years. You know, millions of followers online. To start sort of more broadly, how did you train yourself to become the type of human that accomplishes the things that they want to? That's interesting.
Starting point is 00:09:14 You know, one of the things I told my son before I went off to basic training, and especially because of the field, he wants to go on with Ranger Regiment, where now you get into like high attrition rates and whatnot. What I told them is the vast majority of people I saw fail throughout the military, and you could argue throughout business or whatever. They beat themselves far before anybody else did. I mean, it really was a mindset, and that's almost become cliche, but I can't emphasize it enough.
Starting point is 00:09:41 I've watched people that were smarter than me, stronger than me, in many respects more capable than me, fail because something got to them. It was either a desire for comfort or safety or security or whatnot. But they went into a training environment or they went into some sort of competitive environment with the idea of, I'll do it up to this point versus I'm not going home without it. And that's a far different, that's a far different mindset because I think in one set you are looking for a reason to quit
Starting point is 00:10:18 or you're looking for a price where it's too high and you don't do it anymore and on the other it's more of well no the goal has to be achieved so how do we adapt to changing circumstances in order to achieve it my wife and I were very adamant about that when we got married
Starting point is 00:10:34 and it was this idea that it's the whole you know Cortez burn the ships and that's not to say there aren't situations where you adapt means, okay, this was not a good idea and not do something else, right? That's not the same as quitting. But yeah, I think a big part of it is just saying that when you're going to do something, it's not just about attaining it for its own sake. It's about if you are doing something for which you have given your word or for which other
Starting point is 00:11:03 people are dependent upon you to achieve, you need to look at that very differently. I think it's interesting. And this doesn't just, just apply to men. But when I speak about it in terms of young men, somebody asking, like, what does it mean to be a man? And I said, well, when somebody says, man up, be a man, your mindset automatically goes to overcome difficulties, problems, pain, and danger in order to accomplish your mission and uphold your word. That's what it is. So, okay, that's the mindset that you need to have is when I am obligated to something, not just by, you know, desire or not just by, you know, profit, even though I think profits a fine thing.
Starting point is 00:11:47 But when there's also a component of honor there, well, then you have to live up to that. Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMDM and Game Sense remind you to play responsibly, 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, His contact connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2,600 to speak to an advisor, free of charge.
Starting point is 00:12:16 BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming, Ontario. Yeah, we have a dear friend Kevin who is on one of the teams, one of the tough teams, and his younger brother went in as well. And he called Kevin to ask for advice, like, what should I do to get in? And Kevin, who is a man of few words in general, brilliant, brilliant. actually, like kind of a philosopher warrior. But he just responded, just don't quit and then hung up. And I remember the time being like, yeah, I was like, Kevin, that's all. Isn't there more advice?
Starting point is 00:12:54 And Chris was like, one, no, you know, let us handle the advice here. And two, no, that is kind of it. It's not a, here's a 42-step program in order to ensure you're properly trained to not quit buds. It's just don't quit. Yeah. But how do you, in life, how do you try? for that. How do you, it seems like so many people these days, you don't keep your word to yourself, which I think is your most important word. And you quit all the time, actually, on everything that
Starting point is 00:13:21 you want. Like, how does one become a person who says, I don't quit? I think part of it is you, you practice doing hard things. You practice doing good things that are difficult that you wouldn't otherwise want to do, and then you insist on doing them. And once you build a habit of doing it, I think it becomes easier. And there's, there's studies out now that demonstrate that this impacts parts of your brain that will, you know, essentially grow and develop and become, develop more resilience in you in order to overcome difficult things once you do it. But I also think it has something to do with, there has to be some motivating factor beyond yourself.
Starting point is 00:13:55 You know, again, I'm, for, for me on some level, that's like, that's the faith component, right? It's the idea that there is objective, there is objective truth and there is objective right and wrong. and I have an obligation to live up to the good, to the right. And then when you look at the people around you, whether it be your spouse or whether it be your kids or whether it be other people that depend on you, that becomes kind of that physical manifestation of that esoteric principle. And I think when you combine those two things and you get used to actually accomplishing those things,
Starting point is 00:14:27 you develop habits and you develop reputation and you have a natural inclination and want to defend those things. And you also see the positive benefits as a result. but the reason why I say there has to be something beyond just whatever your objective is or your material gain or whatever else is because at some point you're going to be asked to do something that is not going to benefit you materially. In fact, it could cost you quite a bit, but it is the right thing to do. And in that moment, when you've developed a reputation and you've developed the ability to continue to do that regardless, that's where I think it really takes hold and it becomes such a core part of your identity that to do the opposite is unthinkable. I love that. We have a created contrarian thinking. It's like 13 things that we live by. 13 because we think if you keep working, it turns out you get a little luckier. Yeah, yeah. So, um, go figure. A number. Yeah. And, and, and one of them is, you know, do the right thing even and maybe especially when it hurts. And I do, there is something beautiful about, I think at this point, my husband and I try to have friendships that are few but deep. Yep. And the ones that we have, one of the core, you know, components.
Starting point is 00:15:35 of a friend that I know that I want to travel through time with is, have you ever stood up in a way that I can see somewhere, whether that's publicly or otherwise, and done something that was against your own self-interest, but seemed like the right thing to do? And if somebody has not ever done that, that I can see, that is an indicator to me that we might not get along. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. And I think, you know, you've done that multiple times, obviously going into political office and now you talk about things online. You're always, You got a lot of people who love you online and a lot of people who want to give you some feedback. They got some points that they'd like to make. I've got an interesting comment section. Yeah. I know. I always tell people, if you ever feel bad, just go to my comments section. It's real fun in there.
Starting point is 00:16:19 But I think, you know, one of the things that I found most interesting about you as I went down the rabbit hole is this focus on faith and family that you have. And it's not just for young men, although you talk about masculinity a lot. You were a girl dad before you were a boy dad, you know, multibular. times over. And so for all of the young women listening out there who either have a husband and want that husband to be an incredible girl dad or want, you know, a dad that was incredible themselves, what advice do you give to men raising daughters? Oh, gosh. We did a whole series on this on just that topic, men raising daughters. Some of it was on our YouTube channel. Some of it was
Starting point is 00:16:59 at an event I was just speaking at. So I usually started off with this funny story. where I had a little girl and, you know, I remember there was two people that I asked for advice, right? The first one was my wife because I figured, hey, you know, you're a woman. You probably have some advice on what you like, you know, you would want dad to do. The second one was the biggest man whore I served with in the military. And this dude, good operator, good operator, right? But this guy, I mean, I don't, I remember just walking home like, okay, I don't know what you say. But one day my daughter may find herself in this situation.
Starting point is 00:17:45 And I want her to be able to identify you. So how do I ensure that whatever it is you do or say that apparently works so well doesn't work on her? And it's like, he did. Oh, yeah. No, he didn't. He didn't. He was actually, he was kind of, again, another one of those kind of like laconic guys, not necessarily, not a bunch of bravado.
Starting point is 00:18:08 He went for more of the mysterious, you know, thing. And, you know, kind of a cigarette, just like, tell your daughter you love her. Because if you don't, someday somebody who doesn't will and they'll believe him. And like a part of you wants to be like, dude, I just want to beat the piss out of you right now. But I asked, and he gave a damn good answer. He was honest. And yeah, he was. And look, I have no doubt that if we went back, we would find at some point where he was young, naïve, and in love and got his heartbroken.
Starting point is 00:18:43 And now everyone's going to pay for it, right? Not that that excuses anything. I'm just saying that we generally find reasons why people, you know, turn out the way they do. But so I used to always tell people, tell your daughter, your lover. And I tell this to men specifically, I say, guys, we have this problem. And so we always get frustrated with our wives, right? Because why won't they just tell us what they want? We want to do it.
Starting point is 00:19:08 Just tell us what we want. Like, I know you think we should know, but we don't. And then you don't tell your daughter you love her because, well, you go to work. You provide a house. You're working 60 hours a week for her. Doesn't she understand that's love? Maybe, maybe not, dude. How about you just tell her?
Starting point is 00:19:26 Tell your daughter you love her. Obviously, you've got to do the things that actually demonstrate that that love is genuine. But you need to verbalize it with your daughter. You need to be able to spend that time. You need to be able to do goofy things with your little girl. When she's two and three, you need to be wearing this stupid little feather bow and tiara and drinking whatever the hell that was. It wasn't tea, right? But she thinks it is, right? And you need to be spending that time. And some guys will be like, do they really remember, you know, does your 17-year-old daughter really remember what you did at three? I said, your five-year-old daughter remembers what you did at three. your seven-year-old daughter remembers what you did at five, or 10-year-old daughter remembers what you did at seven.
Starting point is 00:20:07 By the time you get to 17, you have established such a pattern of love and commitment to her that, of course, she's going to want to talk to dad about things. Of course, she's going to want to ask dad about things. And of course, she's not going to want to do things or find ourselves in situations that could be harmful for her and that would hurt you. I said, so tell your daughter your lover and demonstrate the you lover.
Starting point is 00:20:30 The second thing is you have to be able to be able to be able to, able to tell your daughter the truth. Like you have to be a source of wisdom and truth for your daughter because there's going to be this inclination among friend groups and everything else to like prop up and do it. You need to be the person to where when she comes to you with a problem, even when it starts when they're little. And she's trying to figure something or she wants to talk with you about it. Listen. Don't immediately try to solve anything. Listen to the problem because she's giving you insight into the way that she sees the world. And when you establish that pattern of being willing to listen, she's going to ask you to help figure it out.
Starting point is 00:21:07 I said, again, this is another issue we oftentimes get into with our wives, right? Where they're like, for the love of God, honey, can you please get to the point, right? And it's like, well, sometimes the point is just going through that process of understanding the circumstances, what's going on the way she sees it. It's like, again, God has designed her to look at all of these different emotional cues that are going on within an environment that is an incredible asset. while we're sitting here going, I just want the facts. The emotional components that are impacting these decisions are part of the facts.
Starting point is 00:21:39 And so listen to them. Go on that journey with them as they explain everything that was going on and what they witnessed and what they saw and what they observed. Ask them questions about it. Why did you ask that? Or why did that happen? Or what do you think about that? But at the end, when they're asking an honest question, you have to be able to want to tell
Starting point is 00:21:55 them the truth. And sometimes that's dad's job, right? is we give hard truths. But if you give the hard truth in love and they're convinced that it's always for their benefit, they're far more likely to be able to accept the truth. And the third thing is that you've got to be willing to hear the truth from them. And so there's going to be times where they catch you. You did something wrong.
Starting point is 00:22:16 You screwed up. You taught them as standard. And you fell short of it. Now, when they bring that up, now they should do so respectfully. Because there is a respect that should be owed to a mother and a mother. father. But if they do it respectfully and your attitude is I'm in charge here or what do you know about raising kids or what do you know about the circumstance or you're just a kid or whatever, if they're right and you're wrong and you don't take that opportunity to look at them dead in
Starting point is 00:22:41 the eye and be like, you're right. I apologize. And I want to thank you for having the courage to come and talk to me about it. In part because I see so many parents will say, you know, my kids went off to college or my kids went off here. They went that and we didn't raise. them that way. And then you start to ask about, okay, how did you raise your kids? And what you realize is you didn't teach your kids values. You taught your kids an authority structure. And the authority structure was you're in charge. And what you say is go and what you say go. And you know what, maybe that's fine as long as you're in charge because you love them. What happens when it's the college professor? What happens when it's the bad boss? What happens when it's the politician or
Starting point is 00:23:20 whatever else it is? When all of a sudden they're the authority figure, not you anymore. So you got to be able to tell them the truth and they've got to be able to tell you the truth. that you're a safe place to come to tell them the truth. I said, and what I've found, I'm not saying any of this is a silver bullet, right? But what I found is that when you build trust with your kids younger, because so many dads especially think, well, once they get to a certain age, then I step in and I do more. Nope, starts immediately.
Starting point is 00:23:49 It starts holding them as they're a baby. When you build that connection over time, that connection doesn't go away. the last thing I'll kind of say on that. B, I think there's a lot of parents that think how do they compete with culture or friends or Hollywood or the internet. And I think there's this growing tendency to say,
Starting point is 00:24:13 well, I hand my kids over to the experts for their education. You are the primary educator in your child's life. That's not to say that you can't outsource certain topics or subject matter to other people. But if you're just handing your kids over to the internet, that's what you're doing. You're not giving them access to the internet. You're giving the world access to them through the internet.
Starting point is 00:24:33 And they are not capable of understanding certain concepts or being exposed to certain ideas at these tender young ages where they have not developed the mental or intellectual capacity to be able to deal with it. And so you need to protect your kids from that environment and train them up in a way to where they're prepared for it when they see it. And so if you can foster all of that, the one thing I will tell people is you'll be shocked at how easy the teenagers are. Like people, oh my gosh, teenage years. I'm like, my teenage years with my daughter were easy, absolutely easy. I keep saying, and then one more thing and then I always have. But the big thing for dads too is relationships, because that's the thing, dad's, again, what was? the first question I asked about how do I,
Starting point is 00:25:28 how do I prevent my daughter from falling for a guy like you? I'll never forget the first time. We homeschooled our kids, but there was one year we put them in a public school. And we took them out immediately after. But fifth grade, my oldest daughters were walking down the dirt road. She just got off the bus. And I can hear her talking to Tina, my wife, going,
Starting point is 00:25:53 and Tina said, you need to tell daddy. Go tell daddy. He said, I don't want to tell daddy. Well, I can hear this. I'm like, what do you not want to tell Daddy? She goes, well, boy at school likes me. I said, okay. You know, do you like this boy?
Starting point is 00:26:08 And she starts to blush a little bit. I said, I said, sweetheart, it's okay that you like the boy, right? Like, what did you tell him? She was, well, I'm not allowed to date. We actually had really strict rules around dating. Yeah. Ones that nowadays everybody would consider like horribly draconian. And I said, what did you tell him?
Starting point is 00:26:26 She goes, well, I'm not allowed to date. And because that's not what we should be focusing on right now. We should be focused on. I said, okay, that's good. What did he say? He said, he'll wait. And in my mind, I'm thinking, okay, all right. You're either a really nice kid or you're a little punk, right?
Starting point is 00:26:43 And I said, well, sweetheart, let me tell you something. He sounds like a nice boy. And the fact that he likes you tells me a ton about him. Because who want to love you, sweetheart? You're pretty. You're intelligent. Like, you're a good. good person? Like, what boy wouldn't like you or be attracted to you? Like, that's obvious.
Starting point is 00:27:01 I said, do you know why we tell you you should not date until you're actually ready to consider marriage? And she goes, well, yeah, it's the right thing to do. And when I said, I said, it's more than that, sweetheart. I don't want anyone playing with your heart. And I don't want you playing with anybody else's heart. I want you to respect your body. I want other people to respect your body and I want you to respect the body of other people. I said, because one day I want you to have what your mother and I have. One day, I want you to have that relationship that is just so strong. You're going to be so insanely in love that you are just, you're not going to think it was possible. You're not going to think it was possible. I said, and in that day where you
Starting point is 00:27:45 meet that man that God has for you that you're going to build a relationship with, I promise you I'll say yes. I promise you. I'll say yes to that guy when he's worthy of. of you. I said, but in the meantime, I want you to be thinking about that. I don't want you to be thinking about this as some sort of frivolous thing that you engage in for fun. I want you to think about what you really could have. And that was enough for both my girls. I never had pushback on any of it. And I think that's one of the big problems that a lot of men have, a lot of dads have, is they really lean into this idea of, you know, I'll kill anybody that touches my daughter, which, by the way, not a bad instinct.
Starting point is 00:28:22 I always tell dads, your daughter might not want you to beat up her boyfriend, but she wants to know you could, and she wants to know you would, right? She wants that security from dad. But there is something, I mean, you know this better than anyone, especially from the business world,
Starting point is 00:28:42 delayed gratification. If you can look at that thing that you actually want, and when it comes to marriage, that is so incredibly important. And if you can prioritize making that what it's supposed to be and then doing the proper things, I think it keeps kids focused on what they could have as opposed to all the frivolous stuff that they see going on. It's beautiful. You also explained the why to your daughters, which I think is so important and not just giving them that authority.
Starting point is 00:29:06 No, you can't because I said so. Not very useful. But instead, going a step deeper and saying, here's this why. Does that resonate with you? Do you understand? Yeah. I mean, even at our company, it's always, well, you can tell somebody that. that's informing.
Starting point is 00:29:20 You can then have somebody make sure they actually understand. So that's, hey, do you understand what I said? Not I just told you, but do you understand? And then finally, it's agreement. No, I actually, I agree. We're on the same page. And maybe even one step further in business, I don't know what that would be in life,
Starting point is 00:29:34 but incentive alignment. So are you also selfishly incentive aligned to do the thing that now you understand, agree with and are informed about? And if you can hit all four of those levels, then you have people who just continue to work on the path. Oh, totally agree. By the way, if you're building a business right now and you're stuck or you want to break out to the next level, maybe you're not where you want to be today. Believe me, I've been there many, many times. I want you to know, I got you. We help thousands of business owners a year figure out how to scale to the next level. One of my favorite mentors said, every level you have, there's just a higher level and a higher devil. And so if you've been in business for a while and you're doing six, seven or eight figures, there's probably one thing standing in the way of your next level. That's why we host growth.
Starting point is 00:30:18 both in scale workshops four times a year throughout the year in Austin, in Miami, in San Diego, and you may be a fit to come to one of them. If it sounds interesting to you to get help on how to scale your business to the next level, you can reach out to my team at the link in the show notes. We believe in you builders, but we also believe that it's a lonely road and you can't do it by yourself. You said something else too once where you said that it was about arguing with your spouse, and you said something, it was like, oh, absolutely spot on. It was this idea that it's not about winning arguments with your spouse. It's about both of you winning. Or because if your wife loses or your husband loses in the argument, you both lose. The marriage loses. It's very true.
Starting point is 00:30:58 And I don't profess to have a perfect marriage or never argue. No. And so I'm always, you know, it's the same as you, I'm sure. I'm always really careful about saying like, this is what I got figured out right now. Let's check back. In 80 years, let's see like how we're doing. And it's like, was this the right thing? But all the things resonate a lot with me from you and your daughter, My father and I are very, very close. He's here in town right now, in fact. And he works with me in my business. And he's one of my closest confidants.
Starting point is 00:31:26 And, you know, I'm now 38. And so he did all the things that you mentioned. And, you know, in some ways, I think even him and I are closer than him and my brother. We're just a lot of like. Yeah. And, you know, when I was younger, I think a lot of people would say, oh, you know, men would say, I can't wait to have a boy. I want to have a boy.
Starting point is 00:31:44 I want to have a boy. Which I totally get. There is some sort of primal, you know, handing down the, torch the name, et cetera. But also, there's something really incredible about father-daughter relationships. Oh, you know? There's a reason why they say something about that, that mother-son relationship and that father-daughter relationship. Because there is, there's something special. Again, another thing I tell guys, especially tough guys, right? You think you're a tough guy. Then you have a daughter and you find out what a sap you are. Exactly. Like all of a sudden,
Starting point is 00:32:16 you're the one like, you know, little piggy tails. And like, you know, it's, um, because there is, there's something about that, there's something unique about that relationship that brings out the tenderness in a man. And, oh, yeah, it's, it's incredible with both, with both my daughters, it's funny. My oldest daughter's married now. My youngest daughter is graduating high school. And, um, yeah, there, there's, it's sitting down and just having those discussions about their day and what they're thinking and why and, and going.
Starting point is 00:32:46 through the problem solving component. And it is amazing when you can embrace the idea that men and women have different strengths. That's not to say that they can't have similar strengths or thrive in a variety of fields. But it's amazing how complementary the attributes are. And I feel like there's just been this competitive focus between men and women. It's like that's not what it's supposed to be. It is so complimentary. And once you just embrace it for what it is,
Starting point is 00:33:22 like my wife, I learned the hard way. When my wife says, something's off. Something is off. And I can remember early on in my marriage going, well, why do you say that?
Starting point is 00:33:36 Why do you think that? Explain it to me. Babe, I just don't know. I haven't. And again, I wasn't taking the time to let her actually talk through
Starting point is 00:33:44 what it was that she was observing and picking up on that I wasn't picking up on. And I have since learned that just because she might not be able to articulate what's wrong in that situation yet, there's something wrong. Like I have learned to trust my wife's discernment, again, the hard way by not doing it because she couldn't present, you know, a robust and comprehensive enough argument only to find out a week later, six months later, a year later. Oh, holy crap, she was right. There was something wrong. There was something off there.
Starting point is 00:34:16 And you guys were high school sweethearts, right? married for 26 years? 26 years, yeah. That's wild. 19 and 20 when we got married. Do you have some comments about dads in general? And I think I saw somewhere you said you think dads should be dangerous. Yes.
Starting point is 00:34:31 Tell me why. Because they're worthless if they're not. I'll elaborate. A primary job of a man, one of the primary jobs I'm meant, is to protect and to provide. I have yet to find a single woman that is attractive. genuinely attracted to a man that she doesn't feel safe around. In fact, she's more likely to be attracted to a guy that she doesn't feel safe around, but she knows can actually handle themselves in a physical altercation than she is a super nice guy that's absolutely weak.
Starting point is 00:35:06 And I think that should just tell us something about psychology. And I think it should just tell us something about the created order. But a simpler way to put it is if your family was in danger, and you had to call another man to get him out of it, how would you feel about yourself? Right? How do you think your wife or kids would ultimately see you? I don't want to be seen as a nice guy, right?
Starting point is 00:35:32 Nice guys finish last. You know why? Because they should, right? Nothing as I look at the mentors in my life, whether it's Christ or other heroes or role models I've had. None of them are people I would describe as nice guys. Compassionate, yes. Empathetic, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:35:49 Generous, yes, but also capable of intense and focused violence when necessary. And so you absolutely have to be dangerous, never toward your family, but on behalf of them. Yeah, it's so good. Yeah, I mean, when I was, we were talking about Tim Kennedy down below, but Tim's become a dear friend. And I think I loved his line about, you know, I cannot tell you the amount of violence a man has to go through in order to be this kind, this self. You know, and so I think, yeah, I mean, I certainly find it with my husband, too. There's nothing better than I remember, you know, you know how people talk on the internet. You have trolls sometimes, right?
Starting point is 00:36:30 So I have trolls sometimes on the internet. I've never actually met one in real life. Everybody's really nice. I always have a good time. You probably have some different experiences in politics. Politics is a little bit different. Yeah, but everybody has always been great. I mean, incredible builders.
Starting point is 00:36:43 It's so cool when I meet members of our community. But there was one guy on the internet that was, just not very nice. And what's wild is Chris met him. He's going to kill me for the hell of this story. But he met him at an event. Oh, really? And the guy didn't recognize.
Starting point is 00:37:01 And it was kind of a well-known-ish guy. Chris wouldn't do this to somebody random. It was kind of like, this guy, you know, purports himself as somebody important. And should have known better. Should have known better. And he came up to Chris, mistake number one. And was like, I know you from somewhere, man. Like, how do I know you?
Starting point is 00:37:17 And Chris was like, dear baby Jesus. what do I do in this moment? Please let me choose the path of light. And it didn't do anything crazy, which I really, younger Chris might not have done that. But, you know, kind of pulled him in closely and said, like, you know, I'm Cody Sanchez's husband. And then did a, you would know this because you're a fighter, whatever you can do, like a wrist lock. Yeah. Which doesn't look like much, right?
Starting point is 00:37:39 But can be cripplingly painful from what I understand. So the guy squeals, apparently, and falls down to the ground. Yeah. And that he's at our friend's event. And so Chris calls me, the guy sort of runs off afterwards and goes to our friend who's hosting the event and is like, this guy, you know, and they look over at Chris and they're like, oh, him. They're like, well, what did you do? Because he would not do that unless there was some reason. And Chris called me afterwards and he's like, you're either going to be really mad at me or maybe not mad at me.
Starting point is 00:38:10 It tells me the story. And I kind of chuckled. But there was a, I wasn't sure how I would respond, you know, because I don't want somebody brawling or. or being triggering and doing inappropriate things. But you're right. In that moment, I was like, that's my man. It was controlled violence. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:24 I would do just about anything in the world for him because how few people would actually, when it comes to it, stand up and be like unacceptable behavior. Yeah. Not allowed. Yeah. And I have to tell you the best, one of the most incredible compliments my wife ever gave me is like one minute. It was just out of nowhere too. She just stopped me and she goes, you need to know that you like you make me feel safe.
Starting point is 00:38:45 Oh. I was like, well, I can. go on that compliment for a year, right? Like that, that's all it takes, right? But yeah, what, what Tim says with this idea of, it's another thing when young men asked me, like, you know, how should I be trying to have you ever been hit in the face? Have you ever been punched in the face? No, I'm like, probably should be at some point, right? I'm not saying you got to be, you know, a UFC champion like Tim Kennedy, but you need to learn how to fight and you need to go through what it looks like to to really come up against that concept of fight or flight and to choose fight.
Starting point is 00:39:19 And when you can do it and when you can be more competent at it, you are far more likely to utilize it in a way that is both effective and measured. And that's a perfect example of what your husband did. It was measured violence in a moment that didn't cause any sort of permanent damage or whatnot, but let somebody know. And quite frankly, we have too little of that in society right now. That's why you have so many trolls is because they believe they can operate in this world where they can say whatever they want and get away without any sort of
Starting point is 00:39:50 physical consequence. And I think for most of human history, and to some degree still today, every man understands that violence is always an option. When we, when we, there's a reason why there's a certain level of politeness that even though it doesn't look like that sometimes, because physical violence is always an option between men. And, you know, you better be capable of it. Yeah. And especially, I mean, you see this because you travel all around. Obviously, you're in politics and the legislature now.
Starting point is 00:40:28 You've chosen to serve in a different way. You've been doing that for some time. And I imagine often when you're at these university campuses or when you're going to, you know, parts of your district, you encounter people that vehemently disagree with you. one way or the other. So I guess I'd be curious, what do you do in situations? What do you see?
Starting point is 00:40:49 What do you see out there right now when you're talking to people in your district or you're talking to people about politics? I have a pretty, like, I have a good district. I have a pretty like, you know, it's rural Virginia, right? And so I don't run into too many situations where people come up and are like overly, like verbally abusive.
Starting point is 00:41:08 They may be a little bit confrontational. The closest to ever got, in my district and like little coal pepper was during the BLM riots. And there, but you know what's interesting is that we didn't have any riots in our town. And part of the reason why you didn't have any riots in our town is because we had marches. We had organizations and demonstrations like, yeah, that's fine. You know, you, sure.
Starting point is 00:41:31 But part of the reason why you didn't see like cities burning or things getting graffit or bricks going through windows is you wouldn't have had to worry about the cops showing up, right? Our community would have showed up because you're not doing. you're not doing that to my neighbor. You're not doing that to my protest all you want. The moment you get violent, violence is going to be met with violence. And again, that's a necessary component within society because of the barbarians,
Starting point is 00:41:54 and I'm not suggesting that everyone that engaged in a BLM March was a barbarian. But if you're a rioter, if you're someone that believes in destroying things, yeah, the barbarians are kept in check by the good people that are willing to use physical violence in order to maintain order. I've had instances where people got a little bit hostile on the question. But here's the other thing I'll say is I've never been in a situation where you've had the paid protesters come in. Because that's what a lot of this is. It's nowhere near as organic as it's made out to be. When you see people like standing up and shouting and screaming and whatnot, that's usually a very organized effort.
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Starting point is 00:43:08 Probably 45, maybe 50% of the audience were people that showed up to like, you know, protest me. But the ones that were really, really like loud and kind of obnoxious, they were all outside. The people that actually came in and sat down that wanted to ask me questions, some of them just wanted to hear from their delegate. Others wanted to try to catch me. There was one guy that started yelling at me from the audience. And I stopped answering a question. I looked at him and I said, no, keep it up. I want my family to say, I want my kids to see.
Starting point is 00:43:36 exactly what that looks like. He shut up, like, right away. So part of it was just about understanding what are they after right now and what are the various intellectual, verbal, or debate tactics that you can use to try to engage in a civil discussion. And if they don't, you can address it other ways. But one of the things that I've had times where I've had people that were very upset and it's like, you're a politician, you work for me and I'll stop them.
Starting point is 00:44:02 And be like, let me just explain something. I don't know who taught you. that you can talk to me that way simply because I represent you, but it isn't true. So if you want to yell and scream, that's fine. But don't expect me to sit here and be like, oh, sir, you know what? I understand your concern. No, you're an ass because that's not how people talk to each other. So I'm a man.
Starting point is 00:44:22 You're a man, right? You want to talk to me like a man, then do that. And understand that I'm not going to sit here and believe in some sort of sacred thing where you get to scream at me because I happen to be a representative. And I've noticed that a lot of time, there was one time in particular, online where I had a pretty bad troll who called me a coward over a vote. That is a word you do not call another man unless you're willing to fight about it. And so he calls me, you know, calls me a coward.
Starting point is 00:44:48 And it was funny. It wasn't even for a vote I took. And I said, you seem to be incredibly courageous online. I look forward to meeting you in person or in person to see if you were as equally brave in person. And my wife looks at me, she goes, did you just threaten a constituent online? I said no. No, I did not. I just said I would be eager to see if he was equally courageous in person.
Starting point is 00:45:13 And the whole tone kind of immediately went down. So that's been my experience. I mean, I do think, though, you're right. There's something about, you know, it's almost like anything in life. You know, I have a friend, Alex Romosey, who has a quote that's basically like, you know, you, there's no such thing as, what is that called where you imposter syndrome. There's no such thing as imposter syndrome.
Starting point is 00:45:41 It's really just if you have the reps, you don't get worried about doing the thing. And so I'm not sure I always agree with that. I also think it's different for men and women. But the part that I think is interesting is when you have all the reps, the thing that you propose to have the reps at, you're not so scared to have the confrontation. And so some of the part about being a strong man or I think a competent human
Starting point is 00:46:02 is like if somebody comes at me and says, says, or if somebody comes at you and says, hey, you haven't really done this thing in business, you're not competent. If you've actually done the thing, you're quite competent, it's very hard to rattle you. You can say, I would love, anytime you would like to discuss in depth or compare balance sheets, I'm happy to, right? And so I think that's a beautiful thing for young men. It's like, you don't actually have to be big and strong and violent. You just have to take reps, you know, and it's the same thing of business. I think my favorite, I'm going to say, I kind of disagree with Alex and the idea that there's no such thing as imposter syndrome, because I, I know,
Starting point is 00:46:34 So when I think this is really common among combat vets. I think it's really common among military personnel. Like you asked me earlier, like, do you ever miss it? And it's like, yeah, I do. I mean, here it is. I've been out since 2009. And theoretically, if you looked at my resume on that, it's like, well, okay, what do you got to be? What do you have to doubt yourself on within those credentials, right?
Starting point is 00:46:59 Green Beret, Ranger, like, combat. Well, because somebody else did something more or somebody else did something more dangerous or whatnot. And it's like, well, did I really, did I really prove myself? Did I really? So that's a constant, that's a constant nagging feeling in the back of your mind. Did I really prove myself? I would say the other thing, too, is I got to a point late 30s, early 40s. And I remember someone saying, oh, well, Nick, you know, you were a green beret.
Starting point is 00:47:31 it messed with you. And I was thinking, when was the last time I went to the gym? When was the last time I actually grappled? When was the last time I actually shot? And I started thinking about this as like, you know, it's been a while. Do I have capabilities or do I have stories?
Starting point is 00:47:49 And I realize that then I'm like, no, I got some good stories. I got some good stories. But if I am living off the reputation of those stories, well, that I'm not that man anymore. And I still want to be that man. And so that is a quest of constant improvement. But Alex Hermose had a quote that I really loved where he said,
Starting point is 00:48:09 you had all these young influencers that were asking him about how to be successful. And he goes, go out and do something and then talk about what you did. Don't preach to people about what they should do. Hey, I went out and I did this and this is what I learned from it. And I was like, gosh, I love that. I love that statement. It's so true. Yeah, a lot of young people today want to be.
Starting point is 00:48:31 content creators online. And I think be careful what you wish for because it does feel like hooked into the matrix. I'm sure you feel the same thing. You know, there is, there will be a point for sure where I'm very willing to share all the things and be online as much as I am now because I think this is one of my areas of purpose. Yeah. I think that if I was younger and people had told me how to make money and what was possible and actually talked about the thing that we're not allowed to talk about politics, religion, you know, money, faith. Like, then we might actually progress things further. So even after I've made a lot of money, I want to continue to talk about it because we shouldn't stop. But it's not so fun just talking on the internet all the time. You can become
Starting point is 00:49:12 a egotistical narcissist. And simultaneously for those young people, my thought is the same thing, which is go live an incredible life. Go do something adventurous. Go take huge risks. And that will lead to content so good, you will never have to sit in a room and come up with ideas. Yeah. Well, and from with what you do, like you, you, you are constantly engaged in the thing that you're talking about. It's talking about the thing is not the primary thing that you do, even though I think it's one of, I think it's an incredibly valuable thing that you do.
Starting point is 00:49:47 Because, you know, I, again, I was raised by a nurse and a cop. And then I went into the military. None of those are entrepreneurial. And look, I think we elevate them within our society in a way that's good, sometimes excessive. But for some reason, at the same time, we have denigrated entrepreneurialism. I mean, Calvin Coolidge said the business of America is business. And like, I find your journey in how you actually gone into finance and entrepreneurialism and everything else. Fascinating because it wasn't triggered by this natural inclination.
Starting point is 00:50:25 early on to just want to make a lot of money. I mean, it was doing research in journalism on human trafficking. And I've always had this like immense respect for entrepreneurs. Because for me, it was always, that was terrifying. Jumping out of planes, like kicking in doors, flashbang in rooms.
Starting point is 00:50:45 That was exciting. Possibly like risking your entire financial security in order to build something with no guaranteed paycheck, with no get that was terrifying to me. And because it terrified me, it pissed me off. Right?
Starting point is 00:51:03 And so I wanted to learn more. And that's what I like, I love watching your channel because I feel like, okay, I understand what she's explaining and why. And it's the unapologetic. No, this is a good thing.
Starting point is 00:51:14 This is how you actually, the exchanging of goods and services that people can voluntarily choose to do business with you or not, but only choose to do business with you if it's mutually beneficial. Like this is another, I hate this phrase.
Starting point is 00:51:27 You know, I want, I want, you know, businesses need to give back. The hell does that mean? Like, so let me get this straight. Somebody, you know, did work, built up capital or built up something, and then decided to take this enormous risk in order to provide other people with goods and services to mutual benefit, which inevitably creates massive amounts of opportunities and raises the quality of life. But that's the person needs to give back.
Starting point is 00:51:55 Don't get me wrong. I think it's great when a business chooses to invest in those various things or chooses to engage in philanthropy. But I hate this inclination that if you run a successful business, you owe people something. No, you're providing something that people have voted on with their dollar as being good. And it's that's one of the things that I'm starting to watch this now because as as happy as I am with a lot of the things my wife and I did with respect to educating our kids on values and critical thinking and work ethic. Neither one of us were entrepreneurs. And so now I'm going through this process of, okay, this wasn't something I was able to
Starting point is 00:52:41 give my kids the degree that I wanted. I remember my youngest daughter was very much, was very entrepreneurial. Like she was the one that was making jewelry and doing other things and wanted a little cash registers she could do it. And we like encouraged that with our homeschool curriculum, but we couldn't impart wisdom from experience. So we had to gain it in other ways. But now I'm looking at it's like, no, I need to, I really need to lean into this because it is something that I want to be able to provide opportunities for my kids, but also education for my grandchildren. Because it's a wonderful
Starting point is 00:53:12 thing. And I'm quite frankly, I'm pissed that it's been denigrated by our society. I totally agree. Well, and also, you know, I remember when my husband got out of the military, you know, the military, as far as he explains it, there's a ladder. You know, you take steps. to do things and the next thing shows up. And in business, there is a component of it that could be seen as a ladder, but it is a very haphazard ladder. There is certainly no guarantees and there's no one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight steps. And seeing into your future is actually quite hard if you choose to take the mantle of ownership. And so I think it's also incredible when vets go out and build businesses because you guys can handle, you have a very high pain tolerance.
Starting point is 00:53:52 Like the pain tolerance threshold is high. And I think half of entrepreneurship is just pain tolerance plus consistency. That's it. Compounding. And so you already have that. But the willingness, I think, to take the risk of like, I have no idea what any of the next steps are whatsoever is different. Maybe special operators, I think you guys get it a little bit more because you had more flow. There's definitely, we're putting more situations that I think are probably beneficial to an entrepreneurial mindset.
Starting point is 00:54:22 but I think the biggest thing that the biggest thing that I love listening to talk to entrepreneurs is it's this whole idea of you're right. There's this ladder. You do this. You do this. You do this. And entrepreneurs are like, that ladder sucks. I want a different ladder.
Starting point is 00:54:40 I want a slide. I want a rocket ship. And it's like, you can do that? And the entrepreneurs are the ones like, I don't know, but I'm going to try it. And I was like, this is it. Look, we don't have any geographical front. We have economic and entrepreneurial and innovative frontiers. And like I desperately want, I desperately want us to get back to this idea that, look, we have this innate desire in us to engage in conquest.
Starting point is 00:55:11 And for most of human history, conquest meant I'm going to kill you and take your stuff. Why? Because I'm stronger. And nobody questioned it. It's not like everyone was sitting around going, well, I don't. this just seems kind of immoral. Like, no, no, no, Gaul's ours now, right? And before that, Gaul went, you know, sacked Rome.
Starting point is 00:55:29 It's like, you know, Vevictus, right? You know, woe to the vanquished. And really what free markets and capitalism and all this does is it allows you to conquer through voluntary cooperation and through the benefit of the people that choose to do business with you. And that's an incredibly positive form of conquest. And so, yeah, I think, again, one of the things I appreciate so much about your channel is, especially from a homeschool parent perspective, I don't want to send my kids into the vast majority of college university classes to learn about business. I wanted it to learn from people that we're going to, when tell them the truth, not be so overly formulaic that it's like, you know, this is this is the business school.
Starting point is 00:56:17 No, it's like, this is what I've learned. This is what I've done. this is what works. These are things to look out for. I think it's far more engaging. It's far easier to listen to. It's far easier to learn from. And like I get very excited.
Starting point is 00:56:31 I get very excited about that. Well, there's also a lot of studies now that show that in particular for learning, the worst thing that you can do is have a classroom setting. That actually the best thing that you can do, especially for business and for likelihood of success in business, is to make students do business. The best business school is business. And so, you know, I was last night with, there's a new university here called University of Austin. And then there is University of Texas has a new center called Civitas, which is trying to go head to head with Stanford's Hoover Institute. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:57:05 Yeah. And it's an incredible organization. They just got a $100 million grant to build out what I think might be a center for, I'll connect you with them. You'll actually love Ryan Streeter, the guy who runs it. And it's all about free markets that the founders. that the founding of America was actually good, shocking, I know, that freedom for all is actually a huge liberty, and that constitutionalism is quite important for this country. And then a belief that overall in individualism, you know, in the ability for the individual to do good,
Starting point is 00:57:37 but that the individual is sovereign. And in the system last night, we had this dinner where we were kind of trying to think about like, what would education look like if you could choose for children based on what works, data only throughout the entire system? And so they were kind of walking us through it. And you've done this because you've homeschooled. But I mean, could you imagine today if you had, think about what they had us do. If you forced me to sit in a room for eight hours today and one of those plastic chairs, listen to a teacher preach at you, maybe get in, I don't know, maybe five questions in total throughout the day, and that was it.
Starting point is 00:58:15 I can't think that's a, that's a ring of health for me. Oh, gosh. Well, the modern public education system was built off of a Prussian model that was designed to make really good conscripts and factory workers. I was once sitting with the mayor of Charlottesville or the vice mayor of Charlottesville. Now, for those in your audience that are not familiar with Charlottesville, Virginia, it's our version of Portland, right? So I'm a big free market guy.
Starting point is 00:58:43 school choice guy and I'm talking to a guy that is about as progressive as you can get. And I looked at him and I said, I said, can we just put everything aside for the same? I have a question. You and I both agree that education is important. Absolutely, Nick. Okay, great. Do you think eating's important? And you kind of like, no, no, food.
Starting point is 00:59:02 Do you think food? Like starvation's bad, right? Yeah. Okay, food's. All right. I want you to imagine that at some point in the United States history, the government got together and said, gosh, you know what? eating is so important that we cannot possibly leave it to the individual or the private sector.
Starting point is 00:59:16 So here's what we're going to do. We're going to set up 10,000 government grocery stores. And we're going to assign you a government grocery store based off of your address. Now, when you show up to the government grocery store, you don't actually shop for groceries. Your groceries are provided to you based off of some sort of counsel that has determined the size of your family and what they believe is the appropriate caloric intake. And then you're going to get your bag of groceries. Now, if you're not happy with something in your bag of groceries, not a problem. You're just going to have to show up to a lot of local state and perhaps federal board meetings in order to determine what should be in your grocery bag. While the lobbyists
Starting point is 00:59:50 for the people that currently have things in your grocery bag spend millions of dollars influencing the process to ensure that nothing ever changes. Oh, by the way, none of the people working in this government grocery store are ever rewarded based off of creativity, ingenuity, or work ethic. They're purely rewarded based off of seniority. Do you think that as a grocery store, you you would want to be forced to shop at. No. It's exactly what we did with public education. You're assigned a government school based off of your address.
Starting point is 01:00:19 You have little to no say over any of the curriculum. If you want to change something, you don't like something, prepare to go through a huge political battle for which you are the underdog every single time. You can't leave this school unless you can afford to. And none of your teachers are rewarded for creativity, ingenuity, or work ethic. It's all about seniority. And we are shocked that this is not, that this mass production approach to education is not producing the sort of results, optimal results.
Starting point is 01:00:45 I worded it. I was actually speaking at a homeschool convention. By the way, that is such a good counter argument. I'm going to use that everywhere. It makes all the sense of the world. And the other thing, too, that I always try to be careful about. I'm not claiming that everybody that has been involved with the public school system or public education or teachers are all evil, mean, nefarious.
Starting point is 01:01:06 I'm not seeing any of that. My mom was a 30-year special education teacher. She would say the same thing. My son-in-law is a high school count. Like there's some absolutely, my grandmother was my fourth grade teacher, like phenomenal teacher. But it is a mass production approach to education and you are going to get mass produced results. I said, so there's a lot of people right now leaving the public school because they don't like what's being taught. What I tell people is if the public school overnight taught everything that I loved, I still wouldn't send my kids.
Starting point is 01:01:39 And the reason why is because of the structure that it's been set up to achieve is, do you have any idea the amount of time I recaptured with my children? Do you know what it's like to watch your child sitting there just so frustrated over a particular textbook or method of learning and being able to say that day, let's find a different one? Or even better yet, watching your sophomore in high school struggle over a particular subject and then looking at it and being like, what do you want to do? with your life. I want to do this or I want to do this or I want to do this. You know what? None of that requires this subject. Every kid's got to learn how to read.
Starting point is 01:02:19 Every kid's got to learn how to do basic math. Every kid's got to learn how to write and effectively communicate and critically think. But imagine being able to have the power to customize an education to both your child's strengths and weaknesses and their overall objectives. It's nowhere. it has never been easier to do this. Like, again, I wish I would have found, I wish I would have found your channel when I was still, because all of my kids are graduated now, right?
Starting point is 01:02:50 I still send them stuff. Right. But, I mean, I would have said, hey, you know what we're going to do? You know what we're going to do today when we study economics and entrepreneurialism? We're going to sit down. We're listening to Cody talk about this. And I want you guys to, you know, like my youngest daughter, she developed a business. Okay, good.
Starting point is 01:03:05 We're going to do this and we're going to try it and we're going to learn together because I've never done it either, but we're going to learn together. And I'm going to give you access to people to know how to do these things. Like, I want people to understand that I know it, we have been taught to feel like this method of education is the preferred one. But in reality, what we've, what we've really been told parents is this is the safe option if you don't want to be criticized. Yeah, it's exactly right. Oh, it drives me nuts. No, but it's, that passion is always, I feel like, where, where there's that like intense burning irritation is usually where change happens. You know, it's like so much friction eventually leads to fire.
Starting point is 01:03:39 And so I think it's really important. And also, you know, I think about it in Austin, we are at the epicenter. I have never lived in a city that has so much happening in regards to education. There's Alpha School, which is like Joe Lamont, that's Elon Musk backing it where they do. You should actually get connected with this guy. It's fascinating. I'm going to go out and visit McKenzie's the head of the school. I think she has a lot of similar beliefs to you.
Starting point is 01:04:03 But essentially it's two hours of. computer work a day, you know, with teachers as well, but it's AI directed based on interests and like a core, you know, sort of the main principles you talked about. You go through a certain set of projects. When you finish those two hours worth of projects, or you finish the actual projects, then you move on to your curiosity zones. And those can be both physical, but they can also be obviously intellectual. And a lot of it is hands-on pursuit. So they run small businesses every single day. You know, they write books. at a very early age.
Starting point is 01:04:37 And they actually use modern day technology to augment and to have personalized instruction through AI. It remembers everything that you've learned. And then it figures out where are your weak areas. What's this called again? It's called the Alpha School. Alpha school. I mean, I don't go there.
Starting point is 01:04:52 I have no affiliation, but I've been really impressed what I've seen. And then you've got Apogy, which is Tim's school. And then you've also got University of Austin, which is Joe Lonsdale's school that's pushing back against traditional universities. and then you've got Civitas. So it feels like there's some movement. I mean, I know it's easy,
Starting point is 01:05:10 I think, for a lot of people to get pessimistic today. You know, and you see it every day, especially it's probably quite hard sometimes not to be pessimistic with all the things you see happening in politics. But do you have a lot of reasons,
Starting point is 01:05:22 do you have a reason that you are optimistic about America in the future today? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think we're incredibly resilient as a people, and I think we're starting to see a backlash against this kind of like cultural
Starting point is 01:05:34 narrative that we've seen that, you know, America sucks and our founding's horrible and we're all a bunch of oppressors. It's the younger generation that is revolting against that right now. It's starting off with young men, but I think young women are coming around to it as well. Now, I will say this. I was talking with, I was on trigonometry and they asked me the question, like, what is the biggest thing that nobody's talking about? I said, young men are going to revolt. You cannot tell men that every aspect of their masculinity is bad and toxic and evil and they're responsible for all the world's ills and expect to get away with that long term because they're the ones that fight the wars, police, the streets, etc. So they're going to revolt. I don't know which direction yet.
Starting point is 01:06:14 Because they're either going to be the people that stand on the wall and guard against the barbarians or they will be the barbarians. But I see this trend taking place now where I'm seeing this increased popularity with, again, people, that are optimistic about business and entrepreneurship. And you're not getting on there talking about the latest numbers in the Dow Jones or the latest numbers. And you're talking about, hey, how can you do something that's practical and how do you do it? And did you know that this was like, it was funny.
Starting point is 01:06:47 I was sitting there. I'm like, honey, did you know that laundromats? And she's like, I was watching Cody with you when you were. I'm like, oh, I forgot. I forgot. But it's that, it's that excitement. Because again, it's that idea of conquest. right? I'm going to go out that I'm going to build something or I'm going to find something that I'm going to enhance, right?
Starting point is 01:07:06 I'm going to improve upon. And that's exciting because it gets us driving in this positive direction. And I still believe that is built into our system and who we are. And I think that, unfortunately, our modern culture and a lot of it within academia has just fought against that tooth and nail. But the other thing that we've realized is that the solutions that they've offered us suck. Right? It's like it's not. like those theories and those ideologies haven't been winning for the past six decades. They have and nobody's happy and now people are looking around going, I'm tired of what experts are telling me. I want to see what works. And so expertise itself is getting redefined and do. I don't want to hear about how many degrees you have. I want to see what you did. And I want to see what does your family look like? What does your business look like? What is your and if it's working, then now I want to learn more. And I'm starting to see a resurgence of that. And I'm like, Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:01 That's, oh, gosh. I think, I think we have the opportunity to be back in such a big way. I've said it. Another way, we can win it all in one generation. Have kids and raise them like this. And all of a sudden it's like, oh, yeah, this all changes because this, politically, this is a numbers game. So have kids and raise them to believe in these things and to be passionate about them and excited about them. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:26 You know, it's interesting. I've been wanting to play around with an idea, to your point, about a lot of the the stuff that I talk about now is I think about it as more for adults. You know, it's like, okay, how do you start this business and grow it or how do you buy a business? And I try to be accessible at all levels. But to me, there needs to be some resurgence of like, we had the lemonade stand when we were kids, remember? And we kind of learned money through that. There's still legislation I saw in something like 30 states where lemonade stands are illegal, which is hysterical to me and you need permits. But we'll leave
Starting point is 01:08:55 that aside. That can be one of your many jobs in politics. I'll not take that one on. But they're like, needs to be a second level to me, which is, you know, you can't really have a lemonade stand every single day. And what is the level that we teach the next generation of kids? And so is it like, you know, lemonade stand to then having a gumball machine, to then having a vending machine, to then, like, how can we stair step kids into business ownership in the same way we do into home ownership or as we do into school? And so, I mean, if anybody's listening and wants to do something with it, I'm happy to help fund it and get behind you. But I really want, like your kids to have and my kids to have before they go off to college,
Starting point is 01:09:35 I want them to have experimented with like two or three real businesses that wouldn't break the bank, they don't have to become their future at all. Sure. But like teach them the gateway drug to loving entrepreneurship. There was a program that we had in Culpeper County, Virginia, and it wasn't started by the school system, it was started by entrepreneurs. It was called E-squared. And what they did was they ran like a shark tank style program for students.
Starting point is 01:09:58 And it was interesting because when they first tried to do it, the school, push back, right? Because it was going to take away from classroom time. Oh, oh dear, right? You have an opportunity to talk with some incredibly successful entrepreneurs. Like, we had one person that had worked for, like he had ran Jaguar in America. And this guy is offering for free to educate kids on entrepreneurship and take them through the process of starting a business plan and what does it look like to get a patent and what does it look like to compete and what for me, what does it like to sit down in a business negotiation. And so they initially, said, okay, this is what we're going to do. We're going to spend all the time. We're going to spend all the effort. And we're going to give the winning team.
Starting point is 01:10:35 Like, each of them are going to get like a, I forget what it was. So don't quote it's, but like a $5,000 scholarship. And they're like, well, okay, we'll do it. But we want every team to get something. They're like, no. Actually, they said something. They said every team does get something. They get knowledge. But the team that wins is what gets the cash price because that's reality. And they let them do it. And it got so popular. that it was, you would, you would listen to students. In fact, there was one student who he was going to go off to medical school. And he said, look, he goes, I don't, he goes, I might go into my own practice one day or or whatnot. He goes, but I don't, I don't plan to run a business in the sense that we learned here. He goes, but this is one of the most valuable things I've ever done because it taught me more about what business really is and how it operates and the risk involved and the problem
Starting point is 01:11:29 and the amount of government regulations you have to go through. Like it created this very appropriate hostility toward political meddling within the marketplace. But I would just say, like, I think you're already doing part of what you described just by putting out the content you do because both of us know people that are really, really good at something that can't explain it worth a damn.
Starting point is 01:11:50 That's the hard part. And simplify it. Yeah, you can. Right? That's the, do you know, oh gosh, I just forgot his last name. His name's Nick, but the fat electrician. He's on the unsubscribed podcast with Brendan Herrera and Eli.
Starting point is 01:12:05 So fat electrician is his name. I love this already, by the way. I would argue one of the best historians we have in the country, right? Not because he's written a thousand different books on history, but just because his ability to do research, have recall, make the appropriate connections, and then share information in a way. way that is incredibly entertaining and sticks with you is phenomenal. It's absolutely phenomenal. I was on their podcast a while back, mainly because I just out of the below on Instagram, I went to Fat Electrician. I said, dude, I love your content. If it had slightly fewer F bombs, I would use it for my kids, you know, homeschool curriculum. And he goes, you're not the first person to tell me
Starting point is 01:12:50 that. But that is what I think is also so exciting about what's going on right now. There are plenty of things. there are plenty of dangerous, bad, and evil things that happen through the internet. But the internet is a morally neutral tool. It can be used for good. It can use for ill. But again, from a home school perspective, one of the things, or just from, let's say, an alternative education perspective, doesn't have to be homeschool. One of the things I am so excited about is, again, I...
Starting point is 01:13:16 Okay. When I sell my business, I want the best tax and investment advice. I want to help my kids, and I want to give back to the community. Ooh. Then it's the vacations. Of a lifetime. I wonder if my head of office has a forever setter. An IG Private Wealth Advisor creates the clarity you need with plans that harmonize your business, your family, and your dreams.
Starting point is 01:13:40 Get financial advice that puts you at the center. Find your advisor at IG Private Wealth.com. If I had to do it all over again, you would be a regular part of my kids' homeschool curriculum. because of your ability to effectively communicate what you have done successfully. And so when you say, why, like, am I optimistic about America? Yes. Yes, I am because people that never would have been an affordative voice before. Why?
Starting point is 01:14:10 Because you're probably not going to drop everything you're doing to go be a business professor. No. Right? And you're probably not going to be, even if you do get like speaking engagements or you get to show up on the news. what do you get? A 30 second blurb, a one-minute blurb? But now because of these open platforms, you have the ability to actually educate and speak to a broad audience. And that's the part where I think when the good ideas come out, eventually they win. I love that. So we have a tradition here on what we end on. Kyle, can I grab a pen from you? So in the bathroom,
Starting point is 01:14:44 pretty please. And the tradition is that we have each of our guests write a little note to young Nick, a little note to young you. What would you tell young yourself, maybe, you know, 15, 16, 17 year old Nick? And then we'll give you a couple of minutes to write it. Okay. And then we have you read it to the audience. Okay. So, it's a little note to others. Okay. Okay. So we're going to have you read your piece. Okay. All right. Dear Nick, first things first, get back to the gym. Your future wife is way too hot to settle for a dad bod. Next, start taking your relationship with Christ more seriously. It will not only provide the foundation of your worldview. providing objective truth and morality, but it will provide you with an identity which can weather
Starting point is 01:15:27 all storms. Your wife is amazing. Take the time to listen because the insight and discernment she brings is going to be invaluable to you. Spend time, more time with your kids, even when you're really tired and buy Bitcoin. Just trust me. That's incredible. Nick, it was such a pleasure having you on the podcast. Where do people come to see more of you? Instagram, YouTube, what's your favorite? Sure. So we're kind of across all the platforms. We're probably do the most work on on Instagram and YouTube, but you can just find us at Nick J. Freitas. But no matter where you're at, TikTok, Facebook, et cetera, we've got a podcast called Making the Argument. We got another program we do called the Y Minutes as well as Doge Watch.
Starting point is 01:16:05 So regardless of what you're interested in, whether it's family, culture, history, politics, we've probably got something for you on there. Yeah, I love your Instagram. I was going through some of my favorite old reels of years of one of mine was the one where you're like, after 22 years of marriage. My wife told me she no longer loves me. And then you hear your wife in the background go, honey, that's not true. And then you're like, well, she told me to shave my beard, which is the same thing. It's the same damn thing. That's so my husband. You're the man. Thank you for fighting for freedom and sharing all of these things that typically green berets do not share about daughters and love and marriage and the education system and homeschooling. And so I find you to be so unique and so what I think
Starting point is 01:16:47 men need in this country and maybe the rest of us. So thank you for being here. Oh, it's absolutely my pleasure. Thank you. Hey, guys, if you've ever thought about buying a business, we've built what I think is the best acquisitions in business buying community and education curriculum in the world. If you've ever thought about wanting to buy or own a business or if you want to add more businesses to the mix, it's called the contrarian community. And what this is, is the goal is we give you the three things that the best business buyers use, your own advisory team, your own investment committee and a deal team. We get together each week to review deals live and beat up all the deals that you're currently looking at while you simultaneously learn the best way possible, which is called
Starting point is 01:17:25 modeling by seeing other people put together deals. This is how private equity buys businesses. This is how investment teams work, and we're stealing the methods from Wall Street and giving them to you. If this is interesting to you, go to click the link and you can actually talk to my team direct about if this is a fit or not. We can help guide you. The link is in the show description. Hey, crew, this is so cool. The podcast is growing like crazy, and it's only actually because of one thing, you. I don't know if you know this, but the only way the big deal pod grows is when you share it with somebody else. We don't do ads, we don't do pay for play, we don't go on other people's podcasts and talk about it. So if you think there was something helpful here, if we made you money, we made you think about your business or life differently, the most beautiful thing you can do for me is share it. And the most beautiful thing you can do for someone that you care about is to share it with them, help them grow alongside you. So please share the pod. That's how we grow. And also, tag me on anything you share. I love resharing other builders across Instagram, Twitter, and all other platforms. Thank you from the bottom on heart. You're super important to me.

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