BiggerPockets Money Podcast - 78: How to Talk to Your Parents About Money with Cameron Huddleston

Episode Date: June 24, 2019

Parents are supposed to know everything, and talking about money is impolite. So how do you make sure your parents are taken care of and that their wishes are followed throughout their golden years? Today Scott and Mindy sit down with Cameron Huddleston, author of Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk: How to Have Essential Conversations With Your Parents About Their Finances, who shares her story of the journey through her mother’s finances pre- and post-Alzheimer's. Cameron also shares the documents your parents need to have—the documents YOU need to have—to be able to help them navigate their finances as they advance in age. She offers encouragement for continuing the conversation after parents initially say, “That’s none of your business.” She explains everything from the perspective of someone who has been through the more difficult times of parental financial navigation. BiggerPockets Money guests have typically focused on their own journey to financial freedom. But this episode provides guidance for starting challenging conversations with your parents. Use Cameron's advice to sit down with them and make sure their wishes are followed. In This Episode We Cover: Cameron's journey with money Got $1 a week and saved money to buy model horses How she fell into the world of personal finance writing Worked as a reporter before transitioning into the personal finance field Learned about money once she started writing about personal finance The importance of having a will How she reconciled the shift with her parents How to start the conversation with your parents Scenarios to open the door to more conversations with your parents What you can do if your parents say their finances are none of your business or don't want to share any information with you Overview of key things to have in place as far as what your parents should have Legal documents—a will or a living trust Power of Attorney Document Living will or advance directive Long-term care insurance Resources people can go to to get professional help The importance of meeting with an attorney Where people can find an estate planning attorney Some of the fights that occur when there is a lack or prep and how to avoid this The difference between old people’s home and retirement community Mistakes to avoid as parents go into retirement or begin to age And SO much more! Links from the Show BiggerPockets Forums Kiplinger Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Bigger Pockets Money Podcasts show number 78 with Cameron Huddleston, author of Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk. This is all about making sure your parents can age comfortably and making sure that you are able to help them if they need help and making sure that they have spelled out their final wishes and writing. It's all about your parents' best interest. It's time for a new American dream, one that doesn't involve working. working in a cubicle for 40 years, barely scraping by. Whether you're looking to get your financial house in order, invest the money you already have, or discover new paths for wealth creation, you're in the right place. This show is for anyone who has money or wants more. This is the Bigger

Pockets Money Podcast. As a go to everybody, I'm Scott Trench, and I'm here with my co-host, Miss Mindy Jensen. How you doing today, Mindy? Scott, I'm having a great day. How are you doing today? I am doing fantastic. Very excited to be talking with Cameron about a topic, that I kind of thought going into it was going to be a little uncomfortable, but really kind of she kind of showed how it's just a necessary part of life that we have to kind of go into and dive into and talk about. Yes, talking to her today, I know that I need to have this conversation. And she really gives a great framework on not only what you're talking to your parents about,

but how to start the conversation. And I think that's really one of the biggest hurdles that you need to get over is, you know, oh, how do I bring this up? And she gives a lot of really great tips. Yeah. And the topic is about kind of having that conversation about money, end of life care, power of attorney, all those kinds of things with parents in particular and how all of that's going to be managed. And while finances are involved, I think that the conversation we have really show that it's more important for personal reasons because quality of life can be dramatically impacted should something happen if you don't take care of this in a

advance. Right. And, you know, the conversation that you're having is really, it's aimed to make you have an easier time dealing with your parents' finances, but it's also aimed at making sure your parents' wishes are carried out. And, you know, that's one of the ways that she frames the conversation to have with them. But it's just, you know, it's, it's an uncomfortable conversation to start. But the end result, hopefully, is an easier experience overall. I mean, here's a spoiler. alert, you're going to die and your parents are going to die. And getting over that, just accepting that can be really difficult. I mean, your parents have been there your whole life. And to have the thought of them not being there is difficult, but you want to make that transition as easy as

possible on everybody involved. Yeah. And there'll be a little bit of diving into the pain that occurs when that is not addressed up front. Yeah. Tax season is one of the only times all year when most people actually look at their full financial picture, including income, spending, savings, investments, the whole thing. And if you're like most folks, it can be a little eye-opening. That's why I like Monarch. It helps you see exactly where your money is going, and more importantly, where your tax refund can make the biggest impact. Because the goal isn't just to look backward, it's to actually make progress. Simplify your finances with Monarch. Monarch is the all-in-one personal finance tool designed to make your life easier. It brings your entire financial life,

including budgeting, accounts and investments, net worth, and future planning together in one dashboard on your phone or your laptop. Feel aware and in control of your finances this tax season and get 50% off your Monarch subscription with the code Pockets. What I personally like is that Monarch keeps you focused on achieving, not just tracking. You can see your budgets, debt payoff, savings goals, and net worth all in one place. So every decision actually moves the needle. Achieve your financial goals for good with Monarch, the all-in-one tool that makes money management simple. Use the code pockets at Monarch.com for half off your first year.

That's 50% off at Monarch.com code pockets. I love Matt, said no one ever. Nobody starts a business thinking, you know what would make this more fun? Calculating quarterly estimated taxes. But somehow every small business owner ends up doing it. Your dreams of creating, selling, and growing, get replaced by late nights chasing receipts, juggling invoices, and wondering if that bad sushi lunch with Scott counts as a write-off. Change all that with Found. Found is a business banking platform built to take the pain out of managing money. It automatically tracks expenses, organizes invoices, and even preps you for tax season without you doing the heavy lifting. You can set aside money for business goals, Control spending with virtual cards and find tax write-offs you didn't even know existed. It saves time, money, and probably a few years of life expectancy. Found has over 30,000 five-star reviews from owners who say, Sound makes everything easier, expenses, income, profits, taxes, invoices even. So reclaim your time and your sanity. Open a found account for free at found.com.

That's fowund.com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by lead bank member FDIC. Don't put this one off. Join thousands of small business owners who have streamlined their finances with Found. Audible has been a core part of my routine for more than a decade. I started listening years ago to make better use of drive time and workouts, and it stuck. At this point, I've logged over 229 audiobook completions on Audible alone, and I still regularly re-listen to the highest impact

titles. Lately, I've been listening to Bigger Leen or Stronger for Fitness, the anxious generation for parenting perspective, and several Arthur Brooks' audiobooks that have been excellent for mental well-being. What makes Audible so powerful as its breadth. Beyond audiobooks, you're you also get Audible Originals, podcasts, and a massive back catalog across business, health, parenting, and more, all accessible in one app. If you're looking to turn everyday moments into real progress, Audible has been indispensable for me over over 10 years. Kickstart your well-being journey with your first audiobook free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.com slash BP Money. Cameron Huddleston, author of Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk. Welcome to the Bigger Puggets and Money Podcast. How are you doing today?

I'm doing great. Thanks for having me on your show. I'm really excited to talk to you. I have seen you at FinCon a thousand times and we've chatted, but I've never gotten your whole backstory. So I'm excited to hear how you got into money. How did you get into money? How did you discover the concept that you can trade little pieces of paper? No. So let's start with your backstory. Where does your journey with money begin? Well, you know, I did discover that you could trade little pieces of paper for, in my case, model horses. When I was little, I got an allowance a dollar a week, like a whopping dollar a week, because this was a long time ago. And I would save up that money to buy these little model horses that I collected. And this was really the only introduction I got to money for my parents. They didn't talk to me about money. They didn't talk to me about the value of saving money. I just figured if I could save it. I could buy things that I wanted. I remember when I went to college, they gave me a credit card, but didn't really teach me how to use it responsibly, just saying this is for emergencies. And in my case, I thought, oh, here's a clothing catalog. This is an emergency. I need a new sweater. So my parents really didn't teach me much. They didn't talk about money much. I was raised in this proper southern household where it was impolite to talk about money. My dad would tell me that we don't talk about money. You don't talk about money. You don't.

ask people about money, you don't ask them about their income. And I never learned about money in school, like most of us don't. And when I got into the real world, I knew very little. I remember my first job, they asked me if I wanted to contribute to a 401k. And I was like, what is that? What the heck is that? You want me to set aside a portion of my very small paycheck? No way. I need every cent that's coming to me. And so I happened to fall into the world of personal finance writing. It wasn't that it was my choice of careers. I was a journalist and ended up getting into business reporting,

decided to get my master's in economic journalism. And when I graduated from graduate school in 2001, we were heading into a recession. And the company I wrote for Dow Jones NewsWires, they had a hiring freeze so I couldn't get my job back. I wanted to write about the economy for Bloomberg. They had a hiring freeze. Like no one was hiring. But Kiplinger's personal finance magazine was.

They were hiring someone to write for their website. And one of my professors from grad school knew someone there, interviewed, and got the job. And some people might think this is absolutely crazy. Like, why would they hire someone to write about personal finance if they'd, were not an expert. Well, in most, with journalism in general, you typically learn on the job. Like, when I had my first job writing about police, like I didn't know about cops and courts, but you learn. And so I learned about personal finance on the job. And I've been doing this for 17 years now. So I stuck with it. I'm glad I did. I learned everything I know about personal finance on the job.

And I'm so grateful because if I hadn't learned that, you know, if I hadn't had the job allowing me to write about personal finance and interview all these experts. I don't even know where I would stand financially right now. It would probably not be good. So what does your dad think about your job? Because it's impolite to talk about money and then you talk about money all the time. Well, unfortunately, my father passed away many years ago and it happens to factor into this book that I've written because my father, even though he was an attorney, he died at the age of 61 without a will and was in a second marriage. So anyone who thinks their parents, are on top of their finances, let me tell you, think again, they may not be on top of things as much as you think they are. So I think my father would have certainly been proud with where I have

gone with my career. Unfortunately, he just did not live long enough to see me get to this point. Going back to kind of jumping at the beginning of your career, you get your first job. It's as a personal finance journalist, right? My first job was actually as a general reporter. General reporter. Okay. When was your first personal finance gig? So that was in 2001 with Kipplinger and at that point I was in my late 20s. So I had worked as a reporter at a variety of other publications before I landed in personal finance field. And what I'm trying to get a sense of is did that reporting change your financial habits or the way that you approached money? Was there a shift in kind of how you handled your personal finances over the course of that career when you got that that gig in your late 20s.

Yes, it did. I think I've always been somewhere between a spender and a saver. I'm not a big spender, but I'm not a natural saver. And when I got my start writing about personal finance, I was living in Washington, D.C. It's an expensive city.

I was doing a pretty good job of living frugally, but I certainly learned so many more tricks of the trade, so to speak, once I started writing for Kiplingers. I really did learn more about the benefit of saving as much as you can. Early, I learned about credit and credit scores. I learned about borrowing and just so many things that have affected me down the road. And I've learned about things that I think most of us don't know about.

You know, the ins and outs of insurance, especially things like life insurance and long-term care insurance, saving for college and evaluating your needs versus. once. And so it's affected me for sure. Got it. You know, I think it's really interesting in, you know, I have known you and your name and your journalistic reputation for a while. And I'm actually a little shocked that you weren't brought up learning about money. I think it's very interesting that you were able to learn about it over the course of your job. And then that changed your whole financial life. And, you know, I want to point out to people who are listening who might be thinking, oh, well, I didn't learn about it as a kid, so I'm never going to be good with money.

You can change. It's not that difficult to get your finances in order once that's your goal. Once you learn about it, once you figure out money, you know, you can make that change and you can change your financial future. I agree 100%. I hear this all the time from my friends who say things like, oh, you're so good with money. It's like, yeah, but I wasn't born this way. I wasn't born knowing what a Roth IRA is.

I learned this. I taught myself and you can too and you have to. Honestly, sometimes it blows my mind when people say, oh, I know nothing about money. But I mean, honestly, our lives do revolve around money. Not that every decision you make in life should be based on money, you know, how much money you're going to make or how much you're going to spend. But it does really affect our life and how well we're living and the things that we can do and the things that we can't do. And you, you know, you you should make an effort to understand money and how to make the most of the money that you have so that you're not wasting it. And it takes some time. It takes some effort, but it's not impossible. It's not like learning calculus. It's not because I struggle with calculus in college,

but I get personal finance. Okay. So you do not have to be a calculus whiz or even a math whiz. You know, you just spend a little bit of time. There's so many free resources online. just get on there and Google the things that you want to learn and you can learn them. Yeah. What are the what are the tenants of being good with money, spend less than you earn, save? I mean, this is all written out in my favorite finance book, The Richest Man in Babylon. Like don't invest money with people who don't know what they're doing. And like in the book, he invests money with a plumber to go buy rubies. He's like, why would I do that?

The plumber doesn't know anything about rubies. He doesn't know how to get quality rubies. And it's an old old. book, but it's still, it's a goody. But yeah, I mean, invest wisely, save money, spend less than you earn. I mean, it's not that difficult. And yes, everybody's situation is unique. And sometimes you have medical bills and sometimes you have chronic conditions and all of that. But, you know, you just have to account for those in your spending. So, okay, a moment ago, you said that your dad was an attorney, but he died at age 61 with no will, which makes me feel slightly better about still not having a will.

even though I have children. And like I've emailed my sister, hey, you take the kids and all my money. But that's probably not going to suffice. No, no. And I don't want to like lecture you here on your podcast. That's okay. I totally deserve it.

I'm 1,000 percent deserve to be lectured for not having a will. I don't know a will either. It doesn't matter what you told your sister. That's not going to hold up in a court of law. I know. Laws are going to determine who gets the kids and who gets what. Put it in writing. I know. I need to put it in writing. You're right. I'm going to make a note right now. No, we get off this interview and you're going to call an attorney and schedule an appointment.

Make a will. So Cameron doesn't call you next week to yell at you, which she totally should. Yes, we've rewritten a real and we've had to update the will. So we've done. on it twice. Oh, wow. Okay. So Cameron Huddleston, expert on money. And wills and estate planning. No, not quite, but I have a good knowledge about it. So let's go back to your dad because I don't want to be on the hot seat anymore. When you're growing up, you think your parents know everything. And then, you know, when you become a teenager, your parents don't know anything. But it's really difficult to reconcile that shift where you realize oh, I know more than my parents about not just how to get online and use your phone. My mom still text me. Mindy, why does my phone do this? I'm like, I didn't design it. I don't know.

Because just hit delete. Like it's fun, but it's also a little frustrating. I don't know anything about that. I don't. I'm not an expert just because I'm younger than you. But, you know, on the subject of money, sometimes you do become an expert and you look at your parents. You're like, oh, you're making mistakes. How do you recognize? How do you reconcile? that shift in, you know, now the student becomes the teacher, the student becomes the master, you know, how do you do that? How do you reconcile that in yourself? Well, when you reconcile it out loud with your parents, you do it very carefully. You know, I think it's easier to reconcile it internally because you realize that maybe you had access to information that your parents did not.

their parents probably did not talk about money because they're from an even older generation where no one talked about it. It's more and more commonplace for generations to be talking about money, but I'm talking about our generation talking to our kids. Many of you and I are close to the same age. Our parents probably did not talk about it to us. Mine did not because their parents didn't, and they were taught not to. And so I think it's easier for you to kind of say, hey, I get it. I grew up with access to the internet. I was interested in this and, you know, maybe my employer offers me these resources. My parents didn't have these things. And that's okay.

That might explain part of the reason why they're not as good with money as perhaps maybe I am now. But you don't want to say that to your parents. You're not going to go up and say, you know, mom and dad, I can see that you're having some trouble with things. You know, those scammers are calling you and you pick up the phone and you answer. and you give them information, you shouldn't. You don't want to embarrass them. That's the last thing you want to do because, as we all know, once we're put on the spot, we get defensive.

And you start making excuses for doing the things that you do or you just don't want to talk about it. And so we shut down. And the last thing you want to do, if you're going to talk to your parents about these things, because you see they need help, is to have them shut down the conversation. You want to open that door as wide as possible.

And so you want to do it as carefully as possible. So how do you start this conversation? I mean, I have not, just like I haven't done a will, this is the Mindy Sucks at Everything show. I have not had this conversation with my parents or with my husband's parents. And I think that's going to be the conversation to have. But how do you start it without just, I think if they shut down, getting that door open again is going to be like a thousand times harder.

And Mindy, I'll give you, let you have to hook a little bit here. I haven't done these things either. It's okay, you guys. You're not alone. The majority of adult children have not had these conversations with their parents. Like an overwhelming majority because they either don't realize that it's an important conversation to have or even if they do, they're afraid to have the conversation. And I get it.

I mean, it is awkward. It ranks right up there, like the very top of awkward conversations like the birds and these conversation that your parents have with you or that you have with your kids. But this is not one of those conversations that you can just not have and assume everything's going to work out because there's so many reasons why you need to have these conversations sooner rather than later. And I know I'm not answering your question exactly, but I really want to drive this point home with people using my own example.

My mother was 65 when she is diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I was 35. Okay. And even though I was a financial journalist and still am a financial journalist, I had not talked to her about her finances. It wasn't something I was thinking about. I had young kids. I was, you know, trying to stay in help of my own finances.

And as I saw her starting to have memory issues, I knew that I had to take action really quickly. Now, if I had had conversations beforehand, they all could have been about hypothetical what-ifs. What if this happens, Mom? What can we do? What should we do? Let's talk about your finances so we can plan. Once that health emergency or financial emergency comes up, you're not talking about a hypothetical anymore. You're talking about we have a crisis and we have to deal with it. Emotions are running high and the last thing people want to talk about is money. They want to just talk about how to get through this crisis that they're dealing with. And so you've got emotions to deal with. You're not acting rational.

your parents are not acting rationally. You have fewer options. Having these conversations sooner gives you so many more options as far as what you can do when emergencies do arise, help you plan, you know, help you come up with all these, you know, kind of worst case scenario responses. And most importantly, it helps you ensure that your parents have things like a will, power of attorney, living will, which can also be called an advanced health care directive. when my mom was starting to lose her memory, I was like, Mom, we've got to meet with an attorney right away to update your legal documents. And the reason this is so important is you have to be competent, mentally competent to sign these documents. So if I'd waited any longer with my mother, her memory probably would have declined too much than an attorney would have said, no, I'm sorry, she's no longer competent. We can't allow her to sign these documents. We can't allow her to name you power of attorney because she doesn't realize what's going on anymore. But, oh, yeah.

Fortunately, she was still competent. I'm her power of attorney. So is my sister. She, you know, spelled out what sort of end of life care she wants in a living will. Name me as her health care power of attorney. Updated her will. Without those documents, like if she had not named me power of attorney, I would not have been able to step in and manage her finances. I would have had to go to court to be named her conservator. It's a very lengthy, expensive process. You're basically putting your parent on trial to prove that they are no longer competent. And it's something that. that no family should have to go through. And so if you think, oh, you know, mom has had a stroke, she's in the hospital, I need to make sure her bills get paid and I'm going to go to her bank, they're not going to talk to you unless you are your parents' power of attorney. I mean, they can't. It is for the protection of their client. And so this is why people need to have these conversations. The way you go about it, there are a variety of ways you can do it. One is you can use a story. Like your listeners are hearing me talk about my mother, so they can go to their parents and say, you know, I just heard this podcast.

This woman was talking about how she had to step in and take over her mom's finances when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, but she had to make sure these things were in place first. Mom and dad, let's talk about what needs to be done in case something happens to you so that I can help you if you need it. If you're younger, like in your 20 still and you're just starting out, a great way to start these conversations is to ask your parents for advice. even if you think you know more than mom and dad, it doesn't matter. Parents love to get advice. And so...

Parents love to give advice, right? Yes, they love to give advice. And so they can look like you're asking for advice. Mom and dad, you know, I just got married. What do you think? Do I need a will now? Do I need life insurance? Their answers are going to clue you in, hopefully, on what they've done.

They might say, oh, yes, a will. I've been meaning to get around to that. or yes, we drafted Will, you know, the day after we got married because we're on top of things. And, oh, by the way, you know, you're going to be the executive of our estate. Oh, I am. Okay. Let's talk about what that means. So asking them for advice, finding a way to ask them for advice, can open the door to more conversations using that story can hopefully open the door to conversations, talking about what if scenarios. Mom and dad, let's talk about what would happen if, what would happen if you're in retirement and maybe you find that things aren't as comfortable as

you would like to be? You know, what sort of help might you need from me? Or let's talk about long-term care. What are your plans in case you ever need long-term care? Because I will tell you, most people don't have a plan, which means you as the adult child are your parents' long-term care plan and you will be taking care of them. What can you do if your parents say that their finances are none of your business or they don't want to share any of their information with you? I mean, I can see, especially somebody who's good with money, has parents who are bad with money. They might be embarrassed about it. They might just want to shut down.

Oh, don't worry about it. Don't ask me these questions. It's impolite. Your response is to kindly say, I understand. I understand this is a very difficult topic for you. I know you think it's none of my business. But mom and dad, it could be my business someday. If something were to happen to you, if you have a health issue that leaves you in the hospital,

how will your bills get paid? Who is going to make sure that your rent gets paid or your mortgage gets paid or your electricity stays on in your house or that your medical bills get paid while you are in the hospital? How is that going to happen? What's going to happen when it's the end of life and there's no will and my siblings and I have to figure out what you wanted. I need to know what your wishes are. I need to know what sort of care you want. I need to know how I can help you out because mom and dad, you raised me and I love you and I appreciate that and I want to be able to return the

favor. But the only way I can do that is if you do share some information with me. And I get it. It's uncomfortable and you don't necessarily have to tell me, but what you can do is write it down. Write everything down, all the information about your accounts, how your bills are paid, what sort of insurance policies you have, write it down and put it someplace safe and tell me where to find it in case I need it. And those legal documents, make sure you have them, put them in the same place so that I can access them if something happens. You don't even have to tell me, just do this, put it someplace safe so I can get to. it if I need it.

In that conversation, just kind of thinking aloud here, you know, things that might be very uncomfortable for parents to share might be things like the amount of money in a 401k plan, right? Or the amount of money in a bank account. But it seems like what you're saying is that is not necessary for this conversation at all. It's just how, if something were to happen, how would I at that time go about access in these accounts and those types of things? Is that accurate? Yes, it's 100% accurate. If your parents think money is a taboo, really don't even make the conversation about money. You know, mom and dad, I don't need to know how much money you say for retirement. I don't need to know what's in the bank account. I just need to

know where you bank. I need to know whether your bills are paid automatically or you're writing a check. I need to know if you're writing a check whether I, you've given me the legal authority to write a check for you if something happens to you. I don't need specifics. I just need to know some basics. so that I can help out if you need help. And you don't even need to see the will, right? You just need to know that it exists. I just need to know it exists. I just need to know that you've named a power of attorney.

And if that power of attorney is me, please let me know. If it's someone else, make sure they know so that if something happens, they can actually know where to find the document and step in and help you. It doesn't do any good to have these documents if no one knows where they are.

Okay. So do we have, do you have like a checklist of information and questions like, what does success look like in terms of having this taken care of? I do. I have in the book, there's a whole chapter of what you need to find out. And I break it down based on how comfortable your parents are when it comes to talking about this. So, you know, the basics, find out what sort of legal documents they have and how they pay their bills. If they're willing to share that, dig a little deeper.

If they're an open book, then I list everything you should get from them. And I also have on my website, which is Cameron Huddleston.com, a form that you can download and give to your parents to put all this information in it. And then they can hide it away until the day comes that you need to access it. Wow. You know, when you first started talking about this, I'm like, oh, okay, you know, it's about the amount of money. And it's not, I think that that would also be parents who aren't necessarily comfortable sharing that. I think that would be what they are assuming you're asking as well. So I'm really glad that you were able to clarify that because that just what do I pay is not how much money are you leaving me when you die, which could be what the parents are thinking you're asking.

And that's what they often are thinking and which is why they're reluctant to talk. They don't want to talk about who's getting what because sometimes parents don't divide things equally and they don't want to tell their kids that because they don't want fighting to occur. and you can tell your parents that, I don't care what you're leaving me in a will. I don't care how you divided it up. I don't care if you're not leaving me anything because honestly, you shouldn't. You should not be relying on an inheritance.

If you get something, awesome. But don't be relying on it. You just let your parents know, I just want to know if you have these documents. I just need to know some basics so that if something happens, I know that things are lined up so that there's not any sort of financial disaster.

There's not some sort of legal disaster because, you know, you think your family gets along until someone dies. And then every estate planning tourney I know will tell you that that's when the fights erupt. People you think who got along don't. So I want to get into that topic at a second. I know that's an uncomfortable one, but I'm just going to go there. But before we do that, can you give us a quick overview of some of those key things to have in place? I know that they're in the book and on your website, but could you maybe just give us a quick overview? What those things look like.

So are you talking about as far as what your parents should have? Yes. Okay. So legal documents, a will or a living trust, which will specify where your assets go. When you die, if you do not have a will or a living trust, the state has one for you, basically. State law will dictate who gets what. And it might not be the person you want getting your house or your savings or your stock certificates or hidden in a shoebox under your bed. So will is very important and a lot of people think,

well, you know, only rich people need wills. That's not true. That is not true at all. If you have any assets, you need to specify who gets them. Need a will, but I think even more importantly is the power of attorney document. As I mentioned before, this allows you to name someone to make financial decisions for you if you cannot. So, so important. It doesn't mean that if you name your child, your power of attorney, that suddenly they can just get in and access your accounts. It means they can access your accounts if you are no longer competent to do so yourself. And the thing is, they can't do anything without that actual document. They can't just go into a bank and say, you know, hey, my mom's power of attorney. They're going to want to see the document.

And so, again, if you tell your parents, please make sure you have this document. Let me know if I'm your power of attorney, it's okay to put it someplace safe, just tell me how to access it. You know, so they don't have to worry if they don't trust you very well, and if they don't trust you, they shouldn't be naming you power of attorney. But, you know, tell them they don't have to give it to you now, just tell you where to find it. And then the final thing is the advanced directive, or it's also called a living will. It spells out the end of life care you want, you know, whether you want to be on life support. And it also lets you name someone to make health care decisions for you. And this is so important. Like my mother has, she's an assisted

living now because she has Alzheimer's, but she's had some surgeries. And I'm so glad that there's that living will because when I fill out documents for her, you know, I have to mark whether she has one. I have to know. And I'm glad she decided beforehand what sort of end of life support she did or did not want because I don't want to have to make that decision for her. Like I don't want to have to be the one to decide whether my mom should stay on life support. And that's not a decision you want your family members to have to make because they can argue over it. Someone might be practical and say, you know, why should we spend thousands of dollars every month to keep someone on life support when there's no chance. Whereas someone else says, no, we can never do that. We can't,

we can't take mom off life support. And so it leads to these huge fights. So you want to make sure they had these documents. You also want to find out about long-term care. What had they done any sort of long-term care planning. Do they have long-term care insurance? I will tell you that most people do not. If they don't have long-term care insurance, do they have savings to help cover it? Do they have maybe an annuity or do they have a life insurance policy that has a long-term care benefit? What are their plans? There's a good chance they don't have any plans because most people don't. and that's when the conversations really need to start happening because if your parents have no plan for paying for it, that means, especially if you're an only child, you might have to be the

one to provide that care for your parent. I can tell you long-term care is so expensive. I mean, we're talking $4 to $5,000 a month for assisted living, $80,000 to $90,000 a year for nursing home care. I mean, it is astronomical. And so if you're going to be the one providing that care, you're going to be the one providing that care which most family members are the caregivers, that means you might need to be preparing your finances now to help your parents out if they need it. That might mean you plan for early retirement so that you don't have to leave a job to help care for mom or dad. You have this nice big cash cushion to help out or maybe you're sending aside money now to help your parents pay for that care. You and your siblings have a discussion. Mom and dad have no way to pay for

long-term care, we're doing well financially. Let's start saving money for them. Let's get a long-term care insurance policy for them. These conversations, if they happen early enough, can give you so many more options as opposed to, oh my gosh, dad just had a stroke. He has to go into a nursing facility. How are we going to pay for it? You know, Medicare will cover some of the costs if it is a health-related incident that sends you into long-term care. But if you have dementia, for example, Medicare does not pay for that. Medicaid will, but, you know, as you and your listers probably know, I mean, you have to have very limited assets to qualify for Medicaid. You know, one of the things, and going through this list, you named a number of things to have in place that even to me seem

a little overwhelming. What professional or what resource would I go to in order to set all this stuff up? Who do I call? An attorney. You call an attorney, a state planning attorney. State planning attorney. And I know that people will say, well, there's a cost to this. Yes, there is. You are going to pay a few hundred to a thousand or more for an estate plan, the will or the living trust, the power of attorney document, the advanced health care directive. But that cost, that upfront cost is going to save you potentially astronomical legal cost down the road if you don't have these documents in place. And you're kids are going to be the ones you have to pick up the tab, most likely. You know, if they end up in court fighting over who gets what because you died without a will, they're going to pay for that. If they have to go to court to get conservatorship for you because you did not name them power of attorney, that's going to cost them thousands of dollars.

And so, yes, there is a cost, but it's so worth it. And I would recommend meeting with an attorney, especially if you have any sort of complicated situation. there are DIY type of documents, and those documents are certainly better than nothing. You know, if you go to nolo.com, for example, they have wills, power of attorney documents, living wills. If your budget is limited, having those documents are better than nothing, you know, and maybe as the child having this conversation with the parents and you know that they don't have $1,000 to spare to get estate planning documents, you might suggest that, you know, you

and your siblings pitch in and help, hey, mom and dad, we'd like to do this for you so that you can make sure that your wishes are spelled out and put in writing. We would love to, you know, help pay for you to meet with an attorney and have these documents drawn up for you. It's something that you could offer. It might help. And then maybe even they'll let you go with them. Let's do it together. You know what? I need to get a will, Mindy, and, and mom, maybe we make sure your documents are updated. We'll just all go together. And then everyone gets on the same page. We know what role everyone is expected to play. So meet with an attorney.

If you can't afford the attorney, you know, use one of the DIY options if you have to. But certainly the attorney can be a better option just because it's less likely to be contested in court. It's going to stand up better to any sort of challenge because it is tailored to your specific situation. That was just going to be the next question I asked. Should the adult children meet with the attorney? So where can you find an estate planning attorney? the easiest way is to do a Google search. You know, type in estate planning attorney and the name of your city.

And sometimes, you know, you can go and start looking on their websites to see whether they're members of various, like, you know, whether they're part of your estate planning attorney association. That doesn't necessarily mean they're more qualified than, you know, any other estate planning attorney out there. But it's something to look for. Ask for recommendations from your friends. You know, hey, have you had a will drawn up? Is there anyone you can recommend? That's certainly a good way to go about it too. So either, you know, just start with the Google search and then ask around for your friends.

Tax season is one of the only times all year when most people actually look at their full financial picture, including income, spending, savings, investments, the whole thing. And if you're like most folks, it can be a little eye-opening. That's why I like Monarch. It helps you see exactly where your money is going. And more importantly, where your tax refund can make the biggest impact. Because the goal isn't just to look backward. It's to actually make progress. Simplify your finances with Monarch.

Monarch is the all-in-one personal finance tool designed to make your life easier. It brings your entire financial life, including budgeting, accounts and investments, net worth, and future planning together in one dashboard on your phone or your laptop. Feel aware and in control of your finances this tax season and get 50% off your Monarch subscription with the code pockets. What I personally like is that Monarch keeps you focused on achieving, not just tracking. You can see your budgets, debt payoff, savings goals, and net worth all in one place. So every decision actually moves in a needle.

Achieve your financial goals for good with Monarch, the all-in-one tool that makes money management simple. Use the code pockets at Monarch.com for half off your first year. That's 50% off at monarch.com code pockets. You just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed. When it comes to hiring, Indeed is all you need. That means you can stop struggling to get your job notice on other job sites.

Indeed's sponsor jobs helps you stand out and hire the right people quickly. Your job post jumps straight to the top of the page where your ideal candidates are looking. And it works. Sponsored jobs on Indeed get 45% more applications than non-sponsored posts. The best part? No monthly subscriptions or long-term contracts. You only pay for results. And speaking of results, in the minute I've been talking to you,

23 people just got hired through Indeed worldwide. There's no need to wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to get your jobs more visibility at Indeed, dot com slash bigger pockets. Just go to indeed.com slash bigger pockets right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Indeed.com slash bigger pockets. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring, Indeed is all you need. When you want more, start your business with Northwest

registered agent and get access to thousands of free guides, tools, and legal forms to help you launch and protect your business all in one place. Build your complete business identity with Northwest today. Northwest Registered Agent has been helping small business owners and entrepreneurs launch and grow businesses for nearly 30 years. They're the largest registered agent and LLC service in the U.S. with over 1,500 corporate guides who are real people who know your local laws and can help you and your business every step of the way. Northwest makes life easy for business owners. They don't just help you form your business. They give you the free tools you need after you form it, like operating agreements, meeting minutes, and thousands of how-to guides that explain the complicated

ins and outs of running a business. And with Northwest, privacy is automatic. They never sell your data and all services are handled in-house because privacy by default is their pledge to all customers. Visit northwest registeredagent.com slash money-free and start building something amazing. Get more with Northwest Registered Agent at Northwest Registeredagent.com slash money-free. What are some of the problems that you've come across? You know, hey, a parent passes on and there's a bunch of drama that goes on because of lack of preparation in these types of things, or even in some cases where maybe there's things

have been well thought out, but there's still problems because of the way the will was structure or whatever. And let's start with, what are some of the fights that occur in your experience that can be easily prevented or just prevented in general, even if they are tough decisions? It's funny, people can get over fights,

get into fights over the smallest of things when a family member dies. Like an attorney I interviewed for my book, an estate planning attorney, said that there was a family and they were arguing over reimbursement for mowing the lawn at a parent's house after the parent had died. And one of the kids have been doing it and you need to pay me for mowing mom and dad's lawn now that they're no longer there and I'm taking care of the house. I mean, really seemingly insignificant things, people can fight over them after someone dies. And not, you know, mowing the lawn isn't necessarily going to be in someone's will. You know, but it's just really people can start arguing over the smallest of things that you would never think people even care about. They're going to argue over which, you know, China, you know, who gets the china or who gets the dresser drawer that was in mom's room that you thought was really awesome for some reason.

Sometimes the arguments happen when a parent dies and there's another parent left behind. And the argument is over, and oftentimes it's going to be the woman, the mom, who's left behind, the spouse, the husband dies. Mom is left on her own and the kids are arguing over, what do we do with mom now? Where should she be living? I interviewed a woman for my book who found herself in this situation. she and her brothers had not had any conversations before their father died. I mean, he was ill. They knew he was not going to live much longer,

but they never said anything before he died about, let's make a plan together as far as what should happen with mom after dad dies, where we think she should go. And so what happened is when he did die, they were all panicking. Oh, my gosh, you know, mom's on her own now. What do we do? One of them said, well, you know, she should stay where she is. This is our childhood home. I don't want her to move. The other one says she should move closer to me. And the woman I interviewed really thought mom should move into a retirement community. So she could be around other people her age and not have the responsibility of caring for a house. And the siblings were all arguing over it. And the best decision was not made for mom because they had not gotten, you know, on the same page beforehand. And mom, and mom ended up selling her house that was paid off, moving to a house closer to her signs, getting a mortgage in her 80s, in a house that had stairs to get up into it in a neighborhood

where there weren't people her age. She can't maintain the house on her own. The sons are too busy with their own lives to help her. And now she's saying to her daughter, I should have listened to you. I should have looked into the retirement community. And the woman I had interviewed said, you know, I don't think I approached it the right way, though. My mom was just thinking nursing home, old people's home, not retirement community with people my age where I can be social. I don't have to deal with maintenance costs. And so, you know, a lot of these conversations are about how you frame them. You know, yes, if the parents die without a will, that causes a problem. But part of the reason you had these conversations is to talk about what will happen before they die as they age. Like mom and dad,

maybe it's time to move, which is a very difficult conversation. You're in this big house. I know it's causing a lot of stress for you and it's draining your finances that you could be using to enjoy your retirement. Let's talk about whether it's time for you to downsize, whether there's someplace else you could be living that's better for you. Maybe you want to move closer to us. Maybe if you're that kid who really loves your parent, you say maybe you want to move in with us. These are the type of things that you can discuss that can help avoid those worst case scenarios if you wait until you're already in the middle of them. So you mentioned in that story that the mom was thinking old people's home and you were

meaning retirement community. What's the difference? There are so many levels of retirement communities, assisted living, and there are so many options out there that your parents might not even realize exist because they might just be thinking nursing home, the place you go to die. And no one wants to go to a nursing home. There's surveys out there that have found that people would rather die than go to a nursing home. And I don't blame people. It's not like anyone says, oh, when I get old, I hope I spend my golden years in a nursing home. No, there are all sorts of communities out there. And some are certainly more affordable than others. I mean,

there's a Jimmy Buffett-themed retirement community. It's, I think it's like, it's in my book, and I'm, like, struggling to remember the name of it. I think it's like latitude, Margaritaville, or something like that. I mean, you can find a retirement community to fit any niche. You know, they're golfing places, and they're, you know, places that have, like, spas in them. I mean, there's some really nice ones. Of course, you're going to pay more for that.

But, I mean, there are even, you know, condominiums and apartment buildings that are specifically for the 50 and up group. And for your parents, that might be ideal. It might be a lot better than the house they're living in in a neighborhood where they're just a bunch of young people and they don't have anyone their age. And they're having to take care of the yard and they're having to maintain the house.

And so so many options out there now for older adults to find the type of lifestyle that they want. Okay. So this is, you know, one of the things I'm picking up on this discussion is it's less about money. It's not really about having a conversation with money. It's just about all of the ways that you want your life and, you know, a situation to play out over the years, having that upfront and advance because it can be very painful if you don't have it.

Exactly. It is. It is all about making sure your parents can age comfortably. and making sure that you are able to help them if they need help and making sure that they have spelled out their final wishes and writing, it's all about your parents' best interest. That's what these conversations should be about. You're approaching them as a loving child

and letting them know that you want to be able to help them. Not that you're being nosy, not that you're trying to figure out what you're going to get when they die. It's all about mom and dad, I want to help you. I love you and I want to help you. And these conversations will give us both peace of mind. Now, from our position, the folks that are, you know, listening to the show, probably, a lot of those folks are probably the ones that are going to be potentially having this conversation with parents. And aside from becoming very wealthy and retiring early so that you can do whatever

you can react with no consequences financially to whatever life, hurdles are thrown at you. What conversations should you be having with your parents about mistakes that they can avoid going into the, going into this situation? Well, they certainly, you know, a lot of people who I'm sure, as you know, they're saving for retirement, but they don't even know how much they should be saving. Or they're counting on social security, which you can live on social security if you're. your mortgage is already paid off, if you live in a place with a low cost of living, if you don't have any other debt, but if you've got a mortgage, if you've got, you know, whatever, a car loan,

if you are in an expensive city, living on Social Security alone is going to leave you with a very bare-bones existence. So one of the things you might want to discuss with your parents very carefully is if they're not in retirement yet, just kind of simply asking, you know, mom and dad, what is retirement look like for you? Do you think you're going to be traveling much? You know, do you think that you're going to be staying where you are? And this might give you some insight. You're not asking them how much you say for retirement. You're just asking them what retirement is going to look like for them. Or if they're already in retirement, how's retirement going? Are you enjoying it and they might say, well, you know, it's not going as well as I thought it would be. You know,

I thought we were going to have enough money and they might not say that. You know, if they're embarrassed, obviously, they're not going to come out and say, hey, we're struggling. But some of the things like might give you some clues. We thought we were going to travel more, but we haven't been able to. Oh, really? Why not? You know, if you want, I can help you, I can show you how to get good deals on flights, on hotel rooms. Oftentimes offering your parents help. I can show you ways to save money on groceries. I can show you how to eliminate those fees on your bank account and help open the door to some of these conversations. But so you want to make sure, you know, if you can, talk to your parents about obviously the legal documents suggesting they meet with an attorney.

You know, you might even suggest that they meet with an accountant or a financial planner. mom and dad I met with a financial planner recently. It was so helpful. We've mapped out how much I should be saving for retirement or how I'm going to get through retirement. You might benefit it. Hey, do you want me to benefit from it? Hey, do you want me to give you the name of my financial planner?

And they might say, ah, no, I don't need a financial planner and say, you know, try it out. It's okay. You know, it's on me. Just try it out and see what you think. And then if you can get them in the door with the financial planner, that might help put them on the path to avoiding a lot of mistakes. and it also might help open the door to conversations with you. Oftentimes you have to get a third party involved with a parent

because they see you as a child. They don't want to share this information with you. But if you ask a trusted family friend, a financial professional to let them know, please, can you encourage my parents to talk to me? If they hear it from someone else, they might be more willing to do it. That's great advice. Yeah, that's awesome. This has been really helpful not only in shaming me to get myself a,

will, but also just in general, I'm going to need to have this conversation and I'm not all that excited about doing it. But focusing on it's not about the money. It's about the process of making sure your assets are protected. I think that's really great advice for people who, I mean, I don't want to have this conversation. It seems really, really awkward. So making it not about the money seems to take a huge amount of stress and pressure off of both parties. I can tell you though, Mindy, that not having the conversation, the situations that you could end up in are so much more awkward. They're so much more stressful. They're so, they're a lot scarier. And I just kind of want you to ask yourself and anyone who's out there listening,

what are you so afraid of? Like, why are you so afraid of this conversation? These are your parents, they are going to love you, hopefully, no matter what. Hopefully. And they might be a little put off that you bring this up initially, but most likely they're not going to blow up. They might try to blow you off a little bit. And that's why this can take time. Like they might say no the first time. They might shut you down and say, no, this is not your business. You know what? Try another approach. Keep at it because sometimes it can take a while. find little ways to start the conversation, find little ways to get them to open up, and just take those baby steps. But really, you just have to remember though. These are your parents. They are

going to love you. I mean, I know you have kids, Mindy. I mean, I look at my 14-year-old daughter who makes me mad almost every day. But I still love her. I still love her. I don't think, I don't think this is going to make your parents that mad. It might make them feel a little bit uncomfortable, but at the end of the day, they should still love you. And if they see that you're having this conversation because you love them, hopefully they will see the benefit and they will appreciate that you have asked them for this information. And you might be surprised. They might even say, you know what? I've been meeting to have this conversation with you. I just didn't know how to bring it up. Oh, well, you've given us several great starting points for getting this conversation

started and that's that's really really helpful and I am going to make this phone call by the end of the week I promise you heard it here what did you say Scott I said oh man when does this what does the show get released June 24th oh so you have several several weeks before you before that end of that week right yes we record all these shows in advance I'm giving Mindy a little buffer zone here oh no by the end of this week that we're recording in right now. I will have made this conversation. Okay. Cameron, this was wonderful. I'm super excited for your book. I have been since I heard your title and your topic. I'm like, yeah, I need that book. Is there anything else you want to share with our listeners before we make it to our famous four questions?

I'll just recap quickly. These conversations need to happen sooner rather than later. Keep trying. It can take a while to get through your parents. Don't be. afraid. It will probably not be as awkward as you think it will be. And just to kind of follow up on what you just said, Mindy, that you're going to call your parents, realize that a lot of times these conversations are going to have to happen over time. You're not going to be able to sit down with your parents and get all this information at once. You know, you might have to call and say, hey, mom and dad, I really want to have this conversation with you. Let's schedule a time to sit down and talk. You know, when we're all relaxed, you don't want to do it in the middle of Thanksgiving.

Do it when everyone can be relaxed, when everyone's calm, but certainly realize that these can take time. Don't get frustrated. Don't give up. Ah, don't give up. Perfect way to end that. Okay. And I'll throw in just per another piece of advice you gave us all earlier on the show,

do it yourself, right? Have your own documents ready to go. Yes. As an example. Yes. It seems that that's a great way to break the ice and put that in. Yes. I just did all this.

And you can even say that to your parents, too. I know we're trying to wrap it up here, but you can just say, hey, I just found this form online where I can fill out all my account information so that my spouse, my partner can have it if something happens to me. I want to give it to you so that if something happens to me, you can help out. I think it would be great if you filled one of these out too. Wow, I'm getting guilt on both ends. But you're right. It's well-deserved guilt. I should have this. My kids are 12 and 9. I should really have had this 12 and 9 years ago at the latest.

So I should get this financial guilt. Okay, great. Yeah, I've got a lot of things to do. Scott, I'm going to need to take the afternoon off. Okay. Cameron, this was so helpful. I'm super excited about your book, but we're not done with you yet. We have our famous four questions, the same four questions and one command that we ask of all of our guests.

Are you ready? I'm ready. What is your favorite finance book? So I've read a lot and I think one that comes to mine is David Box, smart couples finished Rich. I loved it because it got me thinking about some of the things that my husband and I need to do to work together better as a couple on our finances. So that's one that I read recently that I liked.

Yeah, somebody else just said that recently too. I can't remember exactly who. But yeah, David Bach has. some pretty great books. And the thing that makes them so good is that they're so easy to read. Like, even though he is a financial professional, they are in a language that anyone can understand. That's what I really appreciate about some of these finance books that are recommended on

the show. Is they're not like, I love the richest man in Babylon, but if you don't love Shakespeare language, that book is going to be so hard to get through. I think it's great because I love that language. But if you don't, I mean, it's like reading the King James Bible. I mean, they're easy to learn financial. lessons, but they're still, like, the language is difficult. And yeah, I don't want all these legal terms and mumbo-jumbo. I want plain English. And that, yeah, you're right. Those are really

easy books to read. What was your biggest money mistake? So my biggest money mistake really does tie in to the reason I wrote this book. And it's not talking to my mom soon enough about her finances. Like, I had a really good opportunity to have the conversation with her before she, developed Alzheimer's, but I just dropped the ball. And, you know, when I look back now and I'm like, oh, why? I mentioned that she should get long-term care insurance. She went and met with an insurance agent, and she found out that she could not get coverage because of a pre-existing condition. It was not Alzheimer's. It was something else. And at that point, I should have said, hey, mom, let's come up with a plan. Let's look at your assets. Let's figure out how we could pay for long-term care if you ever need it.

but I didn't. Like, I didn't even think about it. And so then I had to have that conversation as she was losing her memory, which made it so much more difficult. I have other ones, too. Like the life insurance benefit that I got from my dad when he passed away and I just blew it. Like, I look back and I don't even know what happened to that money. And that was before I was writing about personal finance.

So in my defense, in my defense, you know, but I should have known about. I don't even know what happened to that money. We will forgive you. I think it's a very relevant, fantastic example of a mistake. It was just, I think, a little hard to react to it immediately. It seems like the mistake is being proactive, not being proactive enough about a situation that you know has a reasonable likelihood of coming up in the future and needs to be addressed. Right.

Yeah, but we're not here to beat you up. We're just sharing. I think it's really helpful. That question actually came from the lessons that we learned from the Bigger Pockets, real estate investing podcast. I hear from so many people who say, you know, I learned the most from other people's mistakes. Yes, you had a success, but hearing what you did wrong helps me avoid that same thing. So I like to ask that question just to hear that, you know, nobody is perfect. Even Scott made a money mistake. And I spell it out in the book.

I mean, I write at the beginning in the introduction, I say this was a mistake that I made. And I'm writing this book because I don't want people to make the same mistake. And I didn't realize it. I just didn't realize it because I didn't have any friends my age who were going through a similar situation. Yeah. It stinks to be the trailblazer. Okay. What is your best piece of advice for people who are just starting out? Save, save, save. Like take advantage of that 401k or the 403B, whatever retirement account, your employer offers. I know when that first paycheck is small and you think, how can I even part with $10, $20? But if you start when you are younger, you really need to set aside less

than if you wait till you're 30, 40, or 50, you have to set aside three, four, five times as much to get to the same amount of savings at the age of, say, 65 if you retire, then if you started when you were in your early 20s. I mean, you hear about it, that magic of compounding, but it is true. And I wish I had done that. Like, I have had to play catch up because I didn't start saving enough when I was younger. And so now I'm having to like work twice as hard, save twice as much just to get to that point that, you know, I probably could have reached it even a while ago if I had started sooner. But your listeners are like on this because they are like planning on retiring early

and they got it. They got the message somehow. Yes. But this episode might be shared with a lot of people who hopefully, please, if you know somebody who's going through this situation, please share this episode with them. You know, and maybe they'll start to see that, hey, I could retire early too. I don't remember where I read this. I remember that I was in my 20s when I read it.

Something about if you save. $2,000 a year, every year from 22 to 30, you'll have more money at 65 than if you saved $4,000 a year from 30 to 65. Which is probably right. Yeah, the compounding, like assuming the same rate of return and all of that. But yeah, it's amazing the power of compound interest. It's the eighth wonder of the world, according to Albert Einstein. I think that might be a fake quote.

But we're going to go with it because it sounds good. It sounds good. And he's really smart. So definitely, that's exactly how that happened. Okay, the best question. What is your favorite joke to tell at parties? Okay, so the sad thing is I don't even have a good joke to tell at parties. That's okay.

These are never good. I don't, I mean, I can't even think of a good joke to tell at parties. I don't even know any. But, you know, we have an Alexa. you guys, you know what I'm talking about? Yes, the dot or whatever. Yes, it is not me. It's my husband who loves tech stuff.

And my daughter, my middle child, will ask Alexa every day, tell me a joke. And so I really need to start paying attention to those jokes. They're pretty corny, but at least it would give me something to say at a party. No, I don't have any good jokes. Like, I honestly have no good jokes that I could tell at a party. Well, my nine-year-old... I need to get Alexa. Yes, you do need to get Alexa.

We have an Alexa. Somebody gave it to us. And my children also ask it jokes and play terrible music on it. But Daphne will save you today. If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Hay fever. Allergies. Pilgrims, but yeah, both.

Oh, my gosh, I got that one. My seven-year-old told me that. I can't believe I forgot. Is that an Alexa joke? I don't know. Daphne told me that as we were driving down the road the other day. That's great. She's a very funny girl.

Claire is actually much funnier. I don't even need jokes. I can just tell stories about my kids. Because they do, especially my youngest, who seven, does the craziest things. And so that is like plenty of fodder for stories at parties. But you know, the thing is too, because I have kids, I don't get out to many parties. Like, I am just lame, I guess. Yeah, I'm right there with you.

I think you're saying all these things. I'm like, yep, we're the same person. We're the same person. Yes. Okay, here is the command. Tell me where people can find out more about you. Okay, that is easy. You can go to Cameron Huddleston.com.

That's my website, information about me, my book. And because this is airing, the day before my book, out on June 25th, you still have time to pre-order. Hopefully it'll still be at a discounted price so you can lock in the low price. And you can get, if you take a screenshot of your pre-order and email it to me, you can get a downloadable conversation starter cheese sheet, which like recaps, a lot of the stuff in the book and walks you through some of the things and more details. So it's a freebie. And where are we emailing that too? So you go to my website and there's details about this. Okay, perfect.

Yes, just go to Cameron Huddleston.com and there's all the information about this. Perfect. And we will link to all of this in our show notes, which can be found at biggerpockets.com slash money show 78. Cameron, this has been awesome. This has been a huge kick in the pants that I really do need to get myself going both directions up to my parents and down to my kids. So thank you so much for not only writing the book, but for coming on today and talking to us about it. No, thank you for having me. I really appreciate it. Okay. And we will talk to you soon.

Have a good day. Bye. Okay. Bye. All right. That was Cameron Huddleston. Mindy, what'd you think? You know, the most eye-opening part of this show was that we're not talking about money. The conversation isn't about mom and dad, how much do you have? Mom and dad, what are you leaving me? It's the conversation is how can I help you take care of yourself, your health, your health, your end-of-life experience and your assets. And how can I help you do this? Should you lose mental capacity? Should you lose the ability to make these decisions for yourself?

How can I step in and make these decisions for you so that your wishes are carried out? And, you know, I think that's taking the focus of the conversation away from money is a super important tip that that's like the best tip I got out of this show. Yeah, I thought that one of the interesting things was when I asked her about, how, you know, you can avoid conflict between siblings, you know, children when you're passing things on. And she kind of was like, you know, it's not really about that because no matter what you do, there could be some sort of argument or thing. Like I got the guy who got upset because he wasn't being paid to mow the lawn. Right. There's all these different types of things that happen.

It's about managing the entire process and having all those things in place and making sure that the best outcome for everyone is facilitated. It's a stressful conversation to have. It's a stressful conversation to start. It's not a happy topic. Hey, mom, let's talk about you dying. That's not something that, you know, don't approach it like that. You've listened to the show if you're all the way to hear.

We all know how Wendy will approach it. Don't be ham-handed. But, you know, Cameron gave some really great ways to approach the conversation. Hey, and you know, you're going to have to do this for yourself. So go ahead and do that first and then say to them, hey, by the way, I've done this. Have you done it? Let's talk about this with you too. Yep.

Okay, Scott, shall we get out of here? Let's get out of here. Okay. From episode 78 of the Bigger Pockets Money podcast, this is Scott Trench and I am Mindy Jensen and we are leaving. And about to go make some very unpleasant phone calls. Yes. Yes. that's uh we're we're we're out of here so we can go make some unpleasant phone calls and talk to our

parents we'll report back before we do that we're going to go and check out the book yes the book is called mom and dad we need to talk how to have essential conversations with your parents about their finances you can get this book wherever books are sold okay now we're gone bye bye