BILFPOD - Alli Webb: I Sold Drybar, Then My Life Fell Apart

Episode Date: August 13, 2026

Alli Webb spent 30 years doing hair before she built Drybar into a household name and sold it for $255 million. What almost nobody talks about is what her life looked like while that business was thriving.

You know, called to be transparent about all this stuff, announced, you know, that I had a facelift three months ago. I love that for you. Yeah. I had a tummy tuck. I've never said that out loud to anybody ever. I read a lot about your background and where you came from and what you were doing and you were actually going and blow my drying hair. My hair style is for 30 years. Do you ever look back and you're like, oh my god, I used to go door to door blow drying hair and now I have this like multi, multi, multi, multi million dollar business that I sold.

I was a dick for a long time. Yeah. It's like who fucking cares about being right? Like, let's just be love and like good to each other. I remember my kids saying, we don't know what version of you we're going to get. It crushed me. You know, we talk about having it all.

And, you know, this whole notion of work-life balance, which I think is bullshit. I don't think that's a real thing at all. Literally a chapter in my book. It's called balance is bullshit. Welcome back to the Biltth pod. We're authenticity trumps authority here on the Biltfod. We love to highlight anyone from women in the boardroom to icons to co-founders.

to authors, which leads me to this brilliant guest that I have today. I have Ms. Ali Webb. She is beautiful, a ball of energy. Welcome. I mean, you have an incredible story from Drybar, which I used prior. It's so good. I know because of you and your product innovation. And now you're doing messy, which we'll get into.

But welcome to the BiltPod, girl. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Yeah, I'm so excited that we made this work. Me too. So I'm just going to dive in. It's okay. I'm just going to go forward.

right it just why not right it cares so um you know funny enough i did read about you and like i read a lot about your background and where you came from and what you were doing and you were actually going and blow my drying hair that's how this all started well i have my hair set this for 30 years that is so do you ever look back and you're like oh my god i used to go door-to-door blow drying hair and now i have this like multi-multi multi-billion dollar business that i sold to what you're doing now do you ever look back and think yeah i mean it's you know i especially now that now that's that I have kids who are at that stage of life where they're trying to figure out

what the hell they want to do with their lives. You know, I mean, for me, when I was, my boys are 19 and 21. And when I was 18 and everybody was going to college, I was like, I don't wanna go to college, but what the hell am I gonna do? And I, you know, I tried a lot of other careers and ultimately like, I just, I grew up in South Florida.

And so my, you know, that humidity, like, just wreaked havoc on my hair. That's why I wear weave. Yeah. But, you know, and for me, it was like, I was, I always was, trying to teach myself how to do a blowout. And I just, I just, I never got good at it

until I finally decided to go to beauty school when I was like, 19 or something. And really fell in love with the entire industry. And you know, and then I moved back to New York. I moved to New York when I was 18, went back home when I was around 20. And my brother and I started, we worked for Nicole Miller when we lived in the city,

which was like 30 years ago. And it was, like, in her heyday. And then I was working, you know, retail. I mean, we owned the stores, but I just, I didn't love it. And then I was like, you know, the only thing I really love is doing hair. And I really want to learn how to get better at it and arguably blow out my own hair. So long story short, I moved back to New York. I worked for John Sehawg, who was like one of the biggest iconic hairdresser of that time.

I feel like today's generation doesn't know him, but he was really the pioneer of dry cutting. And he was like the guy for so many years. So I worked in hair salons forever, you know. And then I got married when I met my ex-husband when I lived in New York. and we moved to LA and I had my kids and when my kids were like two and four, I started this mobile blowup business where I was just like, I got to do something for myself. For sure. Totally.

And it was like, you know, I really thought I like hit the jackpot being able to be a stay-at-home mom and, you know, be with my kids all day. And I did love that. But after like three or four years of that, I was like, I got to do something for myself again. I just felt like I was, you know, just so antsy for that. I resonate. I totally get it. Yeah. So I think a lot of women do. It's like, I love being a mom.

And I mean, I arguably more now, though. I like that. My kids are older. How old are your kids? Mine, I have one that's 18, one that's 15, and one that's eight. Yeah. Wow. You've got the whole spectrum. Second marriage, girl. Second marriage. So anyways, you know, I just, you know, wanted to start doing something. So I started this mobile business, which, you know, would eventually lead to the start of Drybar.

So yes, I mean, to answer your question. Now, 16 years later, after we started Dry Bar and Dry Bar became this massive success, you know, and my life has fallen apart several times. And, you know, I'm sure you can relate. Oh, I know all about it publicly. Yeah, yeah, you know, it was rough. My now son who's 21, who's doing great, went to rehab when he was 13. You know, my marriage broke up.

My mom died. It was just crazy, crazy timing. And all the while, Drybar was really thriving. And we sold the company in 2020, like moments before the recession, which was also wild. And so it's been a journey. And, you know, with that, like, you know, I changed so much as a human. And I also kind of lost the, you know, it's like I had spent my whole life on the hunt for a great blowout and then invented this place that did it.

And then I was like, ah, I don't think I'm into that anymore, you know, which is so my personality to just be like, I'm going to try something new. And I just didn't know how to do my hair any other way. But my hair, you know, over the course of the 10 years of building drybar, it just got very damaged, you know, because I was so much heat styling, so many blowouts, and I like being blonde. So it just doesn't all work, you know. And so when COVID hit, and I just sold drybar and I was in a real identity crisis, and I think just because I wasn't going anywhere, I stopped bled drying my hair, you know. And it was like, huh. And my hair started growing.

and I started doing masks and I started playing with it and that's when I was like, couldn't find products that I loved for like what I wanted my hair to do and that was really how like the idea for Messi my new product line was born. That's amazing. I'm listening to your story and I resonate so much. You know, I was in business with my husband, my ex-husband.

We had a very public divorce like throughout this company like in the company we work with which was like mortifying, a meltdown. I mean I was not financially stable though at that point. and got into, you know, the insurance industry. Same thing, like, you know, you go balls to the wall, you're ready, you're going, you're going, and then one day you wake up and you're like, wait a second.

What's next? Like, I always feel like I want more. It never is enough. Like, what am I going to do next? So then I did, like, I competed in, like, the WBFF. And it's just like never. It's like bodybuilding. Oh, wow.

Yeah, bodybuilding. Thank you. I did that. It's always something, like some crazy things. Well, I think there is like a personality type of an entrepreneur or whatever, whatever you're called. A type. Yeah, definitely A type.

That it's just like, you know, it's interesting when you say I always want more. I, that, I resonate with that. But, you know, it's like, I think there's like a negative connotation around that of like, you're never satisfied nothing's ever enough where I actually feel like it's quite opposite. It's like you're just always like, it's like your brain just can't stop inventing. And there's like so much reinvention. And that's really how I feel. I mean, I feel you like I come up with a new business idea every.

day and I'm like, why hasn't someone done this? Why has someone to this? And like, I should do this. I mean, if I started as many businesses as I think about, you know, and you have to, you know, figure out where you want to, you know, double down. And for me, it was like hair, obviously I'm really known for hair. I really know hair very well. I spent my whole life in this industry. And, and, you know, and I'm always exploring other things as well. But, but I get that. You know, it's like, there's just, there's just so much to do. I feel, I get it because it's not like it's not that nothing is perfect for me. It's that I always feel like if you're not growing, then what are you doing? You're stagnant. That's really what it comes down. Well, and I think that that,

I actually think what you said is, is actually true that when you look around, and I think it's, I think it's changed a lot in the last like 15 years, but like when we started Dry Bar, like, part of what I think made Dry Bar as popular as it was was like the branding. And yes, we were doing great blowouts at an affordable price. But it was like, we created a brand, like a love brand. And at that time, 16 years ago, you couldn't like name brands like that the way you can now. It's like the sprinkles of the world. And these brands that are so iconic, they, you know, so many of them have come. Like now when you think of like glossier or, you know, other brands that you're like, you just fucking love them. But there's so much that goes into that, you know,

and that just wasn't really a thing that I understood back then. But now I look at businesses and I'm like, this could be so much better, whatever the thing is. And that's what I tell other. entrepreneurs because I mentor a lot of entrepreneurs and I'm like it doesn't matter if it exists. You know, it's like, you know, you don't have to create the iPhone. You can, you don't have to recreate the wheel. Yeah, it's just make it better. You just make it better. And there's just so much opportunity. It's funny being in New York too because I've lived in LA for like 20 years and then I recently moved to Tennessee, which I actually love and I could not be happier being there because I wanted a slower pace. But, you know, just walking, I just like, I was so remember,

it's like walking around New York and there's just so you're it's just so much you know which I remember when I wanted to leave New York I was like I just need more proximity like spatially and you just you know you walk in places and it's like it's also very New York like it's like they're just not thinking about the experience and that was why you know dry bar was so special I think is that it was we created this experience which was like how clean it was like how you retreated the way it looked the way it smelled the way it felt like the music level like all of those things And it's still today, it's pretty shocking to me how many businesses don't take that into account.

Agreed. It's why so many, you know, I mean, I don't know the statistic, but I know it's high of businesses that fail. It's like 50% or something. Yeah, it's so funny that you say it. I've actually been in a dry bar. I've gotten my hair done there. And what's wild is the color.

Like, you don't forget because of the color, the big yellow. I mean, that yellow. Well, and that was, you know, very intentional because most hair salons are like black and white and smoky and dark and whatever. And I was like, and that was something that I really learned from my eyes.

ex-husband who was a branding genius. It was like we looked at what other hair salons historically were doing and we're like, oh, we're going to go do the opposite, which is the same advice I still give people today. I'm like, which is very similar to what I did with Messi. You know, it was like so many hair brands are, you know, trying to get your hair to do this and do that and change and whatever. And I was like, no, let's get your hair. Let's like love the hair you have. I'm not trying to change your hair. I'm trying to make what you have better as opposed to like, let's go change your hair to something else. Or we're extensions, you know, whatever.

Or whatever. Well, and I was telling you before, like, we, we have this product called Silk Revival Spray, which is basically vegan silk. And it, like, if you're using a lot of dry shampoo and your hair gets very dry, you want something that, like, makes your ends feel better because that's just what happens when you're using dry shampoo and not washing your hair for several days, which is great. But you need a product that really helps, like, bring your hair back to life. And what I didn't plan for, which really happened is, like, when I would put it on

girl's hair who has extensions, it really makes the extensions pop and get shiny. So you'll love that. I will definitely, I will definitely like reminisce and indulge in it. Who doesn't like good hair products? I mean, that's, and it's like the smell. I mean, the smell of the dry bar products were very iconic and people really fell in love with the smell. And, you know, I didn't know that I knew how to do that, but it was just, I was just following my instincts and like, this is what I like and hope the rest of the world likes it too. And it kind of followed the same playbook, you know, for messy, but like creating something that is different within the sea of hair products, you know?

Now, I don't know if you want to answer this or not, because I work with my husband. Yeah. Do you think that? Your second husband. I work with my first one today. We all are in the same. Don't ask. My life should really be a reality.

Oh, I know. I can't. My ex-husband is around all the time, but, um, which is so crazy. But do you, when, and I get this question a lot about working with my husband now. They were like, how do you, how is it working with your husband? And my answer is, well, that's all I know, because my husband, I recruited him into the business and we were just friends. But do you feel like part of maybe why you got divorced is because you guys worked together

or had nothing to do with it? No, I mean, we shouldn't have got married, truly. Fair, fair. You know, we were so young. Yeah, that was like my first husband. Yeah, I mean, and it's so interesting now. It's like, I mean, my kids are luckily not in serious relationships right now and I'm so glad because like, and it's just not like they're, they're much more interested in their

careers and what they're figuring out, which I think is beautiful. I mean, I was like wanted a husband, wanted babies. So did I. I did the same thing. I think that's different for girls. But, you know, what I have learned, and I've been married twice, married and divorced twice, and I'm in a very happy relationship now

and with the love of my life. I love that for you. It's all worked out very well. And really, I think the way it was supposed to, but, you know, I was so young when I... And I was 26 when I met him, and it's like, you know this. It's like, you just go through so much life and you change so much from your 20s and 30s and 30s and 40s and 40s.

I mean, it's just like, so I mean, I don't regret any of it, you know, but it was hard. You know, it was a lot, but it was, you know, a lot of learning. But no, I don't think we got, I think, I think actually building dry bar together probably kept us together, you know, because we had, you know, we raised, we were raising these kids and then we started this business and our whole life just got turned upside down in the best way. I think it was really more towards the end of when I knew we were we were gearing up to sell and I was going to step away from the business and I was like oh this is not forever for me you know and he knew it too and even our kids weren't that surprised you know and I think it's you know

you hear a lot of people maybe not as much as we used to but I feel like you hear a lot of people say we're saying together for the kids yes which I just don't really subscribe to that I don't subscribe to it. I understand that some people want to do that and can just kind of make it through. But I feel like in my case, in my situation, I'm only talking about me. You know, we fought a lot.

We fought a lot in front of our kids. And I remember feeling like, I don't want my kids to feel like this is, this is what love is. I agree. And now they've seen me very much in love. And I'm just, I'm a very different version of myself. I mean, I'm at like 3.0 now.

because I had a fucking lot to learn. I was a dick for a long time. Like I was, you know, I was learning who I was, and I was, you know, and I always say to my boyfriend now,

I'm like, you are by far getting the best version of me. You know, because for me, it's like, it's not about being right anymore. Like, it's like,

who fucking cares about being right? Like, let's just be love and be good to each other. It's like, but the version, the one point of version of me was like, you know,

I was just different, you know? And so I, and now, you know, I mean, listen, my kids have seen me go through a lot, and they've been through a lot, and I think they're much more discerning about getting into relationships. And like, you know, I mean, my older son, I feel like I say that now.

And like I could see him being married in no time. He wants kids so bad. And, you know, so who knows? And I feel like, you know, listen, everybody needs to take their own path. But for sure. And I think that you have to, like, for me, at least, like I had to fail and go through all these things. I don't think that I would have been as successful if it just.

if I was out the gate and the anomaly and I had all of this success because I wasn't successful at all for a long time. I think the trick is, is like if you can grow with somebody and I think it's hard, it's just hard to, you know, you're just going to grow at different paces and you're going to want different things. And, you know, I have girlfriends who, you know, are going through divorces and they're like, and this is very much how I felt. It's like I became a different version of myself that I wasn't when he met me.

sure and I don't know that he liked that version so much and vice versa and I think that that's what happens when you marry so young and you don't know who you are yet and you're about to go become whoever you're becoming and either you're taking the person with you or you're not or you're not and they're growing in a different direction they want a different thing it's like and it's cool it's okay like everybody should embrace for sure that you know I think also the other thing is is you know the sad part is women today there should be more women entrepreneurs which is sad I know it's growing. It is growing. But I would say, and I can ask you, because you're like the biggest entrepreneur of real bilf that I know. But, you know, we talk about having it all. And, you know,

this whole notion of work-life balance, which I think is bullshit. I don't think that's a real thing at all. I don't- Literally a chapter in my book. Yeah, it's not. I don't think, it's not. I don't think, chapter two. See, there, I mean, like a sister after my own heart, but I don't think it's a real thing. I think there's work-life priority. But, you know, the biggest question I would ask you is, have it all is it do you think it's possible to have it all well yes and no you know I agree with you about the balance part and I think it's like I I feel like balance is just such a weird word it's like I'm not I'm not striving for balance like for me it's like I literally was and I

keep bringing up my kids but I'm just so close to my boys and I was talking to my son who's my older son gran who's 21 and he's he was he's been you know he's at that stage where he's figuring out what he's doing and we were talking on the way over now he's got a lot of things going on and and I was like isn't that exciting you know it's like I I love the chaos like I love me I thrive I know I finally admitted like I like the drama in the chaos I love it I think that that's part of my you know like we were talking before like our the DNA of like a type A really driven successful women it's like you just like having your hands in a lot of things and and I have I have I always do I always have so many things going on some of them work some of them don't

Some of my like, some of my don't, you know. But I love that momentum and excitement. Like that's what like gets me going. It's trial and error. You can't. I feel like if you're just stagnant with one thing and I think people in general don't realize that it's okay to throw a whole bunch of rods out there and to kind of see and figure it out. It's trial and error.

I don't think anybody is. I think that there's, you know, there's a lot of people who don't feel like that. And thank goodness for those people because those people are potentially like, I just want this job. I want to know what. Which is great. Right. You need those people in the world. I mean, it is what makes the world go around.

But so I don't even think about balance. You know, it's like some days it's like everything's really great and things work out the way they're supposed to and it feels like everything's kind of going along. And then some days I'm like, I'm so tired and I don't have any energy and I don't want to do anything. You know, I mean, it's just like every day is different. That's important to say that too.

Like it's not always, you know, what we see on Facebook, I call it fake book, you know, or like on social media is not always what we're going through either. Yeah. It is okay to admit and allow our self-grace because there are days. where I don't want to get out of bed or I don't want to do something or I just feel completely fucking unmotivated because everything seems to be falling around, you know?

Yeah, and I mean, I have, it happens all the time. And I have to remind myself that, like, on days like that where it's just like I'm not motivated, I'm like bummed because one thing didn't work out or something I was excited about didn't happen, whatever it is. And then so quickly that will turn and like something really exciting will happen. I'll be like, why was this? You know, so for me, it's like less about balance. It's more about like, you know, finding this middle ground of like, I don't, I don't get too excited

about the good stuff and I don't, I also don't let myself get too down about the bad stuff, you know. But to answer your question about having it all, I think I feel more like that in my life today than I've ever felt. I think because we're more seasoned. Yeah, it's like we've been through so much life. Yeah. And, you know, I have figured out much more, at least who I am right now, you know, and who I'm

becoming right now and like I you know this stage with my kids I you know you have some older kids you get it but it's like I really love it because they're they're real people and like it's fun to watch it's fun to watch them figuring out their life and what they want to do and also being responsible so it's not like I have to you have an eight year old too so you're still in that phase of like you got to do everything and drive them everywhere and and and then you know it changes when they become older and so you know and I feel like like I said I just moved to Tennessee and it's been a dream of mine for a long time to live out there and like all I want to do is ride horses and like I love horses so much so that's something I'm pursuing and that's something that I really

love and just having lived in cities like New York and L.A. for the last 30 years being in a place where I like my backyard is all is a big yard and grass and trees and there's birds and animal I love it so much and I and I knew that I wanted that and it was just a question of like how do I get there, you know, and I'm, you know, ridiculously in love. And I'm like, this is probably the closest I've ever been, you know, and now I'm building this business that is in a different age of building a business, which is, there's a lot of challenges with it. But, yeah, I feel like that more today than I think I ever have. Yeah, I do too. I think it also comes with, like, internal love. Yeah. Like you have to, I think it comes, there's a point, and I've talked about

this before, you know, my uncle, who actually lives here, my family, he was like, he would always, like, laugh at me and he's like when you turn 40 you're going to see like the whole world's going to change you're not going to give a shit and you're going to be so comfortable in your skin that you're not going to know what to do with yourself and I think it's true and then you have this like finally at this and it happened as soon as I turn 40 I had this like moment of like oh like I could breathe like what you see is what you get if you don't like me that's cool but for me like once I had that internal love and I knew like I know that I'm a good person you might I might not be everybody's cup of tea but I know that my intent and I love me.

And I feel like once you feel like that, everything else kind of, you can't have it all. You can be a woman that has it all. Like I talk about this all the time. You can be a hot mom and a hot, you know, and a hot wife and a hot wife that goes to the gym and have a business and then party on the weekends. Like I feel like you can do that, but it starts with the internal love first.

It's so true. It's so true. And that's how I feel too. I mean, I'm, you know, the guy I'm with now, like, I just, I never used to go out. Like, I never used to do anything. We go out and we have so much fun. And I'm like,

you're having a good time of life. Yeah, it's just life is, you know, feels really fun right now. And I think, and I think you're 100% on the money. It's like, you do get to that point where you're like, I love myself. I don't need,

and I'm just, I think it's also like self-awareness of like I, I've done enough work on myself to know. Yeah, there's nothing anyone can tell you about me. Right. Like, like, I know when I'm being,

when I'm, when I'm like being overly sensitive or I, I know my triggers now. Like I know the things. And so I'm aware of it so I can be like, yeah, this is what's happening for me right now. And like for me, it's like, you know, not to get to like psychoanalyzing here. But like, you know, there's, I'm sure you've talked their thought about like childhood trauma and things that have happened.

And not like I had anything crazy happened to me as a kid. But there are things that like inform how I would respond and react in situations, which were kind of child. Like. And I didn't have a grasp on that for many years. until after my second divorce, which was a rough one. And I was like, I now know that like when I'm feeling really sensitive and I can very easily go back into that little girl that just wants to pout and be a fucking brat.

Patty. I like to be petty. I like to be petty. Yeah. I know. I do need to name her. I feel like that's, of course. I know.

I have Marla. My alter ego is like Marla. Yeah. Marla's crazy. Yeah. I need to name mine because I have her. she can but but I know her now and I'm like we're cool I'm like yep she's showing up and and the the self-awareness piece that is like so important to me is like okay this is what's happening right now

this is not real like you don't have to like give into this you know old like childhood way that like you don't get your way you're going to pout and you're going to make everybody miserable and like I would do that you know and I don't do that anymore because I am aware of it now so to your point like understanding who you are, you know, I don't think comes until later in life. And then you start to build that self-awareness and you're like, I don't want to be that person anymore. It's the kids that test you because once you see your kids acting like that, like my daughter's exact replica of me and I'll see her do something.

I'm like, wait a minute. Like, who are you? It's me though. It really is me. And I mean, I have two boys, but I see it in them too. You're like, what? That tests your patience. Like I think if you can raise children, you can be a definite entrepreneur.

It gives you a lot of patience. It makes you understand people, but you know, the biggest thing, though, is you overcame a lot of adversity and a lot of women. I mean, unfortunately, just I see it in my business and sales, they throw in the towel. As soon as something happens, you know, they get their period, they can't come to work or they're having relationship problems or whatever the case may be. How were you able to just say, all right, I'm going through this shit, but I still got to keep it moving? Yeah, I mean, it was, it was tough. I mean, there were, when things had gotten really bad when my son was away and my mom had just died, And I really hadn't like dealt with the grief of that yet because I was just not in denial,

but I just was like, my mom died and I moved on. And I was like, I got to just keep going, you know. And so I didn't really allow myself, I think, the time and space that I needed. But, you know, I mean, like you said, the show must go on. And I had a lot of stuff happening. But I remember being like, you know, filming something or doing something at Drive Bar and then like walking off set and just like finding a bathroom and just bawling my eyes out. because I was just, that's just where I was, you know. And so I think it was like in getting help and, you know,

and I did a lot of, I did a lot of therapy. I went to this place called OnSight, which is actually was my first, like, touchpoint with Tennessee because it's out there, you know, read every book under the sun. Like I just really poured into myself because I wanted to learn. Yeah. Like, and I think I remember saying at that, when things were really hard for me more recently and less,

like, I guess like three or four years ago. that I was like, I got to like catapult myself out of this. Like I don't want to be this like sad puddle of a person, angry, bitter. Like I just didn't want that to be me. You know, so I was like, I got to change that. That's also when I discovered like Joe Dispenza, which I don't know if you're familiar with him, but or like Eckertolle, the power of now. Like, you know, for me, I got, it got a little like scientific.

And if you aren't familiar with those books, those guys, you should read their stuff because it's very like the power of the mind. And like we actually do have control of like what we say and what we do and how we show up. And that and it's not out of our control. You know, and I remember, I don't know where I saw this because I was very much down this rabbit hole of like being able to control your thoughts and how you show up and what you do. And it was like changing the neuroplasticity of your brain. And I was like, I will do fucking anything to feel better. So give it to me.

You know, and it was like, Joe to spend it. or whoever it was that I was listening to that time was like, if you're, when you get dressed in the morning, if you put your pants on with your right leg, start putting them on with your left leg. Say I love you in the mirror 25 times in the morning. Like that shit works. It does.

It is because when you say it out loud, it's belief. It really is. I mean, now there's so much, and I don't know if it's just my feed because this is what the stuff that I love. No, it's all of it. But it's like, you know, that like positive affirmations. Like today's going to be a good day. Like everything I want is coming to me.

Like all of that stuff that we, it's like what we feed our brains is, what happens. And I think that, you know, from all the stuff I learned, it's like there is, neuroplasticity is a real thing. And like you, if you are change, it's like, if you brush your teeth with your right hand, start brushing it with your left. It just changes something in your brain. And I don't understand the science behind it. But, but at that point when I started like embracing all the stuff and reading about all this stuff, I was like, huh, again, I will try anything. I don't want to be this like sad sack of a person that I was. And, and it really also came for my kids who are very transparent with me and we have very deep conversations all the time and

they were like I remember my kids saying to me once and this was like such a pinnacle moment for me because they said we don't know what version of you were going to get. I've heard this. And I, it crushed me. And I was like, I don't want to be emotionally volatile to my kids. I want to show up much more stable and consistent for my kids. And so I really started doing a lot of work on myself and stopped being so reactive and stop being like, you know, like that little girl who's like throws a tantrum when she doesn't get

her way or when she doesn't like something or just like so easy to fight and whatever. Whereas now I'm like so much more consistent and my kids are like you change like and that was like. Yeah, your energy. Yeah. It reflects on them. I don't realize that. And so my, it's funny you said that. My son said to me the other day, I don't know. I was in like one of my petty moods and I'm like I had the kids so young that I forget like, you know, we grew up together, but there has to be a fine line. So my son said to me, the middle one, he's like, we are based on your mood. He was like, so if you wake up shitty, like in nasty, he's like, it reflects on all of us. Why don't you ever see that?

Like, and he was being really nice about it because he's the sweetest one. He's right. He's right. My energy, that's how the little one gets up. That's how the middle one. That's how the big one. And it all is reflective because we're like the center. And it's so unhealthy.

No. No, it's no disrespect. No, it's true. I mean, it's just, oh, I know. Now that you, I mean, like, Bravo, for him to be able to tell you that because it's like when you know that you're affecting someone that you love arguably more than anybody in the planet, you're like, fuck, I don't want to do that. Because then it's like the kids and, and you know, I feel like I know so many adults.

I know so many people who dealt with that from their parents and God bless our parents, they did the best that they could. For sure. But, you know, but it's like if you walk in a situation, which I still struggle with this. Like, you know, it's like if you're okay, then I'm okay. And if you're not okay, then I'm not okay. That is my, that's been a big thing for me. And I, like I said, I still struggle with that, you know, because I want, you know,

it's like you've read things that are like, you know, you don't have to let somebody else's mood affect your mood. It's like, that's very evolved and that's great. But when you're a little kid, you are taking your cues from your parents. And if they're showing up like that, then you're scared, you know, and to be in that that environment is exactly what my kids told me too. And I was just like, oh, God, I have to change that. And it's not an overnight fix.

It's like you have to show them over and over and over again. And it took me years to get to the bright. I know I have to stop being petty. You have to really. I try. I did it this time. You know what I did it this time? Shut my mouth.

I was with ease. I'm here with my daughter. And I just shut up and it worked. Yeah. I really wanted to be petty. I really did. I know. I mean, and I remember doing it so much with my younger son.

Like, and my first husband would be like, why do you fucking stoop to his level? He's six. Like, why are you? fighting with him like what are you doing I'm like and at the time I was like you know I'm like he's robbed you know it's like what was I thinking you know and now I'm just you know I to your point about being petty like I just don't do that anymore and I and I want to show up you know as like you know a good like not to say that they see my feelings like but I mean even with my kids now I've gone so the other way that I used to be this parent that was like I know better I've lived all

this life, I can tell you, blah, blah, blah, like on my pedestal. And now when my kids come to me and they talk to me and they want, like, whatever's going on, I don't say like what I actually think. I'm like, do you want to know what I think? Do you want my thoughts on it? Sometimes they say no. I'm like, sometimes they say yes. And I'm like, here's what I think. Take it or leave it, versus the like, you should do this and this is what you should do. Otherwise, they're not going to listen. And that really shift things. And I see my friends with younger kids who are like still in that, like, you have to do it this way. And the kids are like, fuck you, I don't, I'm going to go the opposite way.

Yeah, I agree. That's the one area I do, I would say, thrive in is like, I don't push anything on them. I'm kind of open. I'm pretty open when it comes. Like, they know it's a safe space to talk to me. It doesn't matter how bad, how good, it doesn't matter. And you'll be close with your kids. I'm very close.

Yeah, I'm super close with them. The same way you don't on your, I love my, I'm obsessed. Yeah, my boys would always tell me, like, they would, I mean, to a fault, they would tell me things they were doing. And I was like, oh, God. You know, but they would say that their friend's parents don't tell them because they can't. You know, and I always wanted to be the mom. Or same thing, safe space.

It's like when we were kids, like my parents were like, obviously well before Uber and all that. They're like, if you're drinking at a party, don't get in the car, you know, or whatever. Yeah, or call us. Yeah, call us. No, no questions asked. No, you know, you won't get in trouble. I don't know. I didn't do it.

I was too scared. I thought I'd be in trouble. I did. And my parents were always like, cool. No, I always thought that I was going to get, no, I never really got in trouble for it. But I was always scared. Like, it wasn't as open. Yeah.

I think that's really what it was. It wasn't as open. So we had, like, as open in a relationship as we could at that time. Now, like, me and my mom are people. Yeah. But it is, it's like, if your kids feel like, I mean, there's like, yes, there's consequences of things that they do. But if they feel like they're not going to get berated by you, then they're going to talk

to you, you know? I mean, you're so successful. And this conversation alone is, like, outside of even success, it just goes to show that, you know, successful people deal with what we deal with every single day. We all have the same problems at the end of the day. Everybody does. And I love that you're so open about it because a lot of the time people are so, nobody wants to open up their book.

We want to talk about our trophy room, but we never want to talk about the trials and tribulations that we as successful women have to deal with. And I think as women, it's so much harder for us because we're wearing the hat as mom, as dad, as therapist, as friend. Like we're wearing so many hats. And I always laugh. I'm like, my husband just gets to go to work and come home. You don't have to do anything else.

He doesn't have to do the first day of school shopping and all the other stuff and the doctor's appointments and everything else. So it is like it's such a breath of fresh air to hear somebody that has exited who is, you know, has a great line out right now who's an author, you know, that is dealing with the same shit that every woman out there in America is dealing and mom. Well, and I feel very like, you know, called to be transparent about all this stuff. And I think, to your point, I think it does help other people. And, you know, and I don't know where that came from of that, you know, transparency. Like, I just announced, you know, that I had a facelift three months ago. I love that for you. I had a tummy tuck.

I've never said that out loud to anybody. Ever. Yeah, never. But, you know, I mean, and the response was, you know, overwhelmingly positive from women who were like, and it was like, listen, I don't, to my doctor who I'd worked with for many years. Like, I don't want to look like somebody else. I just want, like, to look like a better version. I get it. That's why I did it with my same thing.

Yeah. You know, it's like you had three kids. It's like, I hated the skin. Yeah. I didn't want any, like everyone thought it's crazy. And I feel like if you can do it, do it. And if you don't want to do it, cool. Like I have no judgment either way.

But it, you know, the reason like people magazine just did a story on it. And it was like the reason that I decided to talk about it publicly was not for you. It was not like for publicity sake. It was for it was to stop gatekeeping because I feel like, listen, me, me too. Like I look at, you know, I'm not going to say any names, but people who we know. know are quite famous who are beautiful. And you look at them and you're like, how they look like that? And it's not the skincare.

And it's not that. Not to say that good skincare isn't important, good hair products. It's all important. It's a little work. But they've had things done. Like so I don't know anybody who doesn't do Botox and whatever. And again, I'm not the poster child for it. If you like it, cool.

If you don't, cool. For sure. Don't come at me. But I do think at least be honest about it. I agree. When you see, and I've gone down some big rabbit holes of like looking at people. what they look like then, what they look like now. And I'm like, you obviously did something.

And cool, you look amazing. Just say it. It's great, you know. And so for me, I was like, obviously not that I'm at that level of fame and like people looking at me, but I'm like, in my little corner, I'm going to tell the women who follow me, you know, this is what I did and this is why I did it. And it took me a long time and a lot of research. And I was like, I was in conversations with my doctor for about five years over this.

you know, and I finally decided to do it, and that was my choice. And if, you know, later you can look at the post. It's like, it's crazy. Like hundreds of. I'm glad that you post in your, and you were authentic about it, because I think the one thing for women, at least for me, like, I have to feel good and look good. Otherwise, I'm not performing good.

I'm not. I have to. But, you know, it's also, I don't know if you know who's shot by Carolyn is. Carolyn Bondino, I could be saying her name wrong. She's a good friend of mine. She lives in L.A., and, you know, she's just this mom who, you know, I don't even know what she used to do, but she just started, about a couple years ago now,

she started posting on Instagram about this like, get up, get dressed, even if you're just going to like the school drop offline. And now she's got a huge following. She's got all these deals. She's so fucking successful. And it's so great to see. And she's like, you know,

she'll post a picture of her to bathing suit and she'll show her cellulite and whatever. And she's beautiful and she looks great. But she's like, I remember when she got her teeth on, like she got veneers and she was transparent about it. And she showed it. And it was like, it's been really beautiful to watch.

her journey of success because she's just being like you you know she's like I feel better and she she's kind of known for like she'll wear like it's truly like 25 necklaces on and so she's like she's and it's a lot and you're like what but it's like her brand and it looks really good on her and she's so unapologetic and people have really fallen in love with her and I think it's like and her main messaging is like get up and get dressed and feel good about yourself you know and I always I feel like it resonates with me and I'm sure the millions of women who have follow her now because for me I remember feeling like I don't want to go to the grocery store

or wherever I'm going and not feel really good about myself. First of all, you don't know who you're going to meet. You don't know what opportunity is going to come around. But you like you want to feel the best version of yourself as much as you can. Which for me doesn't mean, I mean, this is it. Like I'm like a very casual, like basic. I like, but I, you know, but this is how I like to show up and this is the best version of me.

And that's, that's how what I always aim for. I agree. And that's really what, you know, Caroline has been an inspiration to me for, you know, for doing that. And I really think that women look to other women to, like, for permission, you know, and to embrace who they really are. I don't think you need permission. I don't think you need permission a long time ago. Very true. Because I think the first person I need to satisfy is me.

Yeah. Like, and that's exactly why I did the tummy talk. Nobody else cared. It wasn't about that. People thought I was crazy. I really didn't give a shit. I'm like, this. But you've never said it publicly?

Never. Never. This is the first time I ever said it publicly. I mean, publicly, like, as far as, like, I didn't post it on Instagram. People that know me know, yes. I didn't hide that. Well, and that was the same thing. Like, I told my close friends that I was getting the face of,

but I purposely didn't talk about it until I was ready to really talk about it because I wanted to be healed and I wanted to feel good about it. And because, I mean, there was a little bit of like, oh shit. Like, you know, actually the first, like, couple weeks, my face was like very swollen and I looked not like, like, disproportionate. And I was like, oh, my God, what did I do? and then my doctor was like, it's not going to look like this. You know, we're like, so then I was like, okay.

And I was, you know, purposely off camera for, you know, a couple months and doing my thing. And now I'm, you know, so happy that I did it. And I just, you know, want to share it because it's like if it's right for you, great. And here's my experience. I agree. I think authenticity is the best way to go with it. And I think that, yeah, women, we need to show up for one and another.

But what's the next step for you? I feel like you've done everything. Like, what else is left? Well, I mean, thank you. I appreciate you saying that. I mean, I have a lot of projects and things in the work. You know, I mean, my biggest focus right now is messy and really growing this brand. We launched about a year ago in Sephora, all Sephora doors, which has been interesting

because with Dry Bar, we launched in 75 doors and then grew it slowly. We kind of went all in right away, which definitely has its pros and cons. And so, you know, now I'm just really trying to get women to embrace the hair that they have and, like, you know, air dry, rough dry their hairs. And when you get the product, you'll, it'll. Come together for you. But, you know, and just showing women that there's multiple ways to look really beautiful and feel really beautiful. For me, like, I feel better with my hair like this now, which I never saw coming.

You know, I mean, a bit of... It's so cute, though. I love it. I love it, too. And it's just so free. And even, like, being in New York and in Nashville, where I live, it's like, it's so humid, just like it was in South Florida. But now I'm like, I love the humidity because my hair is, like, curly and bouncy.

And, like, it's just freeing. And I feel so good. It's your personality. Yeah. it really is now but I just if you had asked me 10 years ago you know would I be building a brand that's like embracing like your true texture I would have said you're crazy so it's been a really fun evolution for me and and then you know and like I said I'm I'm working on a couple of projects I do a lot of mentoring and that's really a love of mine that I'm kind

of pursuing in a couple of different ways right now so I love that you're like a true bill boss I'd like to follow if somebody wants to find you where would they find you My Instagram is just Aliweb or it's messy.com is our website. I'm trying to embrace TikTok. I'm actually not on. I'm trying to. It's just not my thing. I'm like failing miserably on this thing.

You know what's so funny is that because I'm looking for looking to understand how to do it, how to grow, now I'm getting all this content that's like, try this and try this. And so I'm like, okay. I feel like for me, Instagram feels like a little more polished and I'm like doing what I know. and in TikTok, I'm just like letting it all hang out. That's so funny that you say that. I am not, I can't. I feel like I don't want to say can't because that's not.

I hate definitive words, but TikTok for me is out of control. Like I can't figure this out. I literally just started. The thing about TikTok that I find that's interesting, and again, disclaimer, I don't know, probably don't know what I'm talking about. But I just, I've just literally in the last week, started posting more and more consistently on TikTok. And it keeps growing.

It grows very, very. quickly. Yeah, you have to post a lot. You have to post a lot. And figure out what I, from what I understand, I'm not an expert, the algorithm that has to figure out who you are. I think so. Also, don't understand it. People who are listening to us are like, what the fuck are they talking about? But you know what's funny is I saw this girl. So this is what I'm doing right now, and I'm really going to try to do it. I saw this girl who was a big following and she's like, she's like, do the 90 day challenge. So for 90 days, and this is, if you go look at my TikTok, you'll see this because I did today was my first day. She's like, for 90 days,

just talk to camera for like, I think she said three minutes. Mine ended up being like four minutes. I'm like, that was probably too long. But she's like, don't think about it, don't script it, just turn the camera on and just fucking do it and just talk to the camera about whatever. And I was like, I can talk, you can talk. So I did that today and I was like, today is day one. And I'm going to really try to chronicle.

I'm going to follow you on TikTok. Follow me on and watch it. Just follow me back. I need as many followers as I can get. Every day I'm going to like just get on there and be like, okay, here's day five of my 90 day challenge and this is what's on my mind I will I mean I scroll through I see I like this millennial mom that I watch all the time she's hilarious and it's not curated content it's just people want to see what tick talk is it's not like and I have a great social media girl who

I'm obsessed with and we we create like great contact for Instagram but I think for TikTok I'm just approaching it as like more fun yeah that's what it like that's exactly what it's what my daughter always tells me my daughter's like don't do the weird she's 18 she's like don't do that weird voice you do she's like don't do the same thing don't do the weird podcast for hi guys just dally well yeah yeah i'm like hey like she's like just be you and stop with like hey guys i don't know i guess i do a weird no i know my kids have said the exact same thing to me they're like your voice changes when you record stuff and i literally you know i actually i'm so lucky that i got when i moved to nashville i became friends with i don't know if you know who she is adly kinsman i don't mean to be

name dropping but she's like one of the biggest content creators that i think i do that they're Her shit is so funny. And she's like the most generous person and she's introduced me to all these other women. And, you know, and one of the things that she taught me is that like what happens and the reason that your kids are saying that and my kids say that is because like we go into performance mode

and we're like, hi guys, so today and blah, and I'm like, I hate it. Like it's so cringy to me. Like, I don't want to do that for my, I'm not judging anybody else. But like, follow me. I just feel funny. Sometimes when I'm hanging out with Adley,

she'll just like have her camera down and she's just filming me she's like because when you're just being you in your life and she's like you light up when you talk about hair or you talk about messy and if you can capture that so like for my social media girl I'm like I have we have this thing like always be filming just film all the shit like just film everything that's how it happens so you're catching you in like really you and that's how you get those viral moments I have I Daniel G does the same thing it's called viralish Daniel G I don't know if you know who he has he does he has a guy that follows them everywhere. So they clip it and then something goes viral.

This is what I see. I don't know. I don't know. That's exactly right though because it's like those moments of the in-between the real stuff, it is what people really want to see. I mean, you know, to talk out of the other stuff in my mouth, like Adley and her husband and they're amazing. They post the funniest shit.

And they will do stuff where it's like obviously very scripted, but it's just, they just have such a like, they're just so who they are. So it's interesting. It is a world I am discovering, and I feel like I'm aged out a little bit, but damn it. I'm trying. We're getting in there. We're in the game. We're not aged out.

We're getting better with time. I don't know. I saw this thing on TikTok that said that millennials, we look better now because we looked old then. And it's so true. I was like flipping through older pictures. I was like, oh, I really think that's true. I mean, I don't know why it's true, but I feel like when I, I mean, I've also like learned so much about my body, like I'm in the best shape I've ever been in.

Like, obviously, my face looks. I mean, it's like, I feel like, I agree. Like, I'm like, it is weird that I feel like I look better in my 50s than I have at any other stage in my life. Like, honey, because we were broke in our 20s. That's what my hairdresser tells me all the time. He's like, that's the real truth. So funny.

We just, back to, like, you don't know who you are. Like, I remember the shit I used to eat, like, the things I used to do. Like, I just, I'm not that girl anymore. Yeah. We've learned a lot. We've grown up. And we live longer and we have, like, you know, life is just, you know, changes. up kind of. I don't know. I don't feel. I'm like five sometimes. I'm still five.

Patty. But today was amazing. I'm so like I had all these other questions for you, but I love the way the conversation flowed because it was just kind of shows. It showcases that it doesn't matter how much you have. We're all going through the same stuff. You know, everybody has an opportunity. It doesn't matter where you come from, whether you're going door to door and blow drying hair or door to door selling health insurance. You can be anything you want to be. So if you love today's episode please tune in for more episodes also please like subscribe unlike unsubscribe tell a friend write a comment let me know um and ali thanks for being here it was amazing this is a great conversation thanks girl appreciate you amazing