BILFPOD - Dr. Tara: From Catholic School to Sex Professor: Breaking Shame Around Women’s Sexuality

Episode Date: May 7, 2026

What happens when a girl from a sexually repressed Buddhist household, who attended an all-girls Catholic school, becomes one of the world's most recognized sex educators? You get Dr. Tara — tenured professor, bestselling author, and TV personality on Celebs Go Dating — and she's holding absolutely nothing back. In this episode of The BILFPod, we're going there. Like, ALL the way there. Dr. Tara breaks down why sexual communication is the #1 predictor of long-term relationship satisfaction (backed by a 5,000-person study), why the Madonna-Wh*** complex is destroying women's confidence, and why the way someone behaves in bed tells you everything about who they are in life. We also get into: 🔥 The difference between Eros vs. Storge love styles — and why mismatching them leads to divorce 🔥 Why sex-positive parenting raises kids that make smarter decisions 🔥 Open relationships, polyamory, and why there's no one-size-fits-all 🔥 "Erotic solutions" for couples with different sexual profiles 🔥 Her viral sex personality test from her book How Do You Like It? 🔥 Why shame around sexuality is doing humanity a disservice This isn't the sex ed you got in school. This is the real conversation women deserve to have. 📖 Grab Dr. Tara's book How Do You Like It? at www.luvbites.co 📲 Follow Dr. Tara: on Instagram & TikTok 💬 Drop a comment 👍 Like, subscribe, and share this with a friend who needs to hear it.

Are you having an orgasmic day? We'll talk about being comfortable with being uncomfortable. Today's talk is about, I'm just going to say it's about sex. I teach sexual communication. I also teach statistics. Girl, I'm such a nerd. I would be a fool to think that my kids are not going to have sex. This is ridiculous.

I'm polyamorous. I'm in a relationship with my partner in L.A. and my partner in London. Intercontinental lover. Fun fact about me is my family was in the porn industry. Welcome back to the BiltPod where authenticity trumps authority. We'll talk about being comfortable with being uncomfortable. Today's talk is about, I'm just going to say it's about sex. We're going to talk not about sex. Like sex said, we learn in school, but we're going to talk about the raw, authentic,

I mean, things that we never talk about. But I feel like, you know, this day and age we can kind of talk about it, and it really doesn't matter. So I just want to welcome an author, TV personality, professor. I mean, this chick has everything under her belt, but most importantly is going to help us understand the S word sex. Welcome to the show, Dr. Tara. Woo!

I'm so excited to have you. Hello. Thank you so much for having me. Are you having an orgasmic day? I think I am. I mean, just seeing you and talking about this, I don't know, I'm getting a little hot, which is like not even like me.

So I don't know. I don't know what already I'm getting a little. Maybe I'm just uncomfortable. Oh my God. I always say like on days that I'm closing big deals, it's an orgasmic day. I'm going to start using that. Then I'll just get like more comfortable.

Because I feel like I'm like, you know, I'm like super like outwardly sexual but not like in relief. If you get me alone, it's like, oh, no, no, no. Yeah. there's that there's that saying freaks in the street shy in the sheets that's that is me versus like princess in the street freaks in the sheet which is totally me because people think I'm such a girl next door but whenever you like look at my Instagram or talk to me you just know I'm a freak I love that for you and I love that you just embrace it like I'm a freak and it is what it is but I have to ask

you we have to talk about this so I know you're in academia five years ago academia professor how does one go from academia to where you're at now? Yeah. So I've been a professor for 15 years. I've been a professor at Cal State University for 10 years. And in academia, you work up to getting tenure. Like that's sort of the highest position. If you think of like corporate world, like in the academia world, a 10 year professor is the highest position you can go. And usually it takes people, you know, six to ten years. It took me five years to get tenure. So when I got, when I got 10 year, I was like, oh my God, like what would be like a fun thing to do after this, like sort of my next goal? The students probably loved you. The boys probably loved you. Well, the girls as well, because, you know, I'm here like dishing out

all the tea, like spilling the tea. So yeah, basically, after five years, I earned 10 year, my students were like, oh my God, you should have social media. You're so fun in class and the world needs more sex education in general. So I started social media and really that's where like everything came from. Because when I started social media about six months in, I had like 100,000 followers on TikTok. About one year in, I had a million. About two years in, I had 1.5. So it sort of grew really, really fast.

And with that influence on social media, and becoming an authority in, you know, through authenticity, in sexual wellness, the TV producers kind of just reached out to me and were like, are you interested in doing reality TV? Have you ever thought about it? I said, I have never thought about it. I'm just a professor. And they were, you are so interesting.

You're really fun. You have a big personality. You should try it out. So the first show that I started with is a big, British reality television show called Celeps Go Dating and this was four years ago. And that's where you are right now, right? Yeah, I'm in London right now.

Filming my fourth season. But basically they were like, yeah, do you want to try a screen test if, you know, if things don't align, it's fine. But if things work out, then this will be your first TV show. And the rest is history. So I finish, I'm finishing my fourth season

of Celepsco dating. And then I have two more American shows, one on TLC, one on HBO, that will be coming out this year as well. So in college, what classes were it? What was your class that you were teaching? So the class that I teach at Cal State University is called sexual communication. I actually teach two different classes.

I teach sexual communication. I also teach statistics. So like sex and statistics. Why am I not surprised? I know, like, I'm, why am I just not surprised by that? I can only. Girl, I'm such a nerd. That is hilarious.

Yes. That is a general. I love looking at stats about human relationships, human behavior, dating behavior, and like sexual behavior and sexual attitudes. It's super interesting. So my field is social science, human sexuality. So basically, like statistical research within human sexuality. I learned so much. Like, I conducted a large study based on 5,000 participants about

what are the biggest predictors of long-term sexual satisfaction? Can you guess one of the predictors? I would say attraction. Yeah, attraction is definitely one of them. The biggest predictor is actually sexual communication. That makes sense. Yeah, communication in general. Yeah, because a lot of couples have never talked about their sex life.

And that becomes a problem later on in their relationship. Now, growing up, so the way that I was brought up, I mean, we're a pretty open family. But I don't remember, at least, no, I know my mom. We weren't, like, we're open now. We talk about everything. It doesn't matter. But growing up, like, sex was, it wasn't off topic, but it wasn't on topic either. Did you grow up kind of similar or were your parents open with you about it?

I grew up in a very sexually repressed environment. None of my parents or family members or friends ever talked about sex. I went to an all-girls Catholic school. So actually, for the first couple of years of my, like, adolescent years, I thought it was a lesbian because I was in an all-girls school. And that's what you did in an all-girl school. You date other girls. Right. And then, yeah, and my family, my family is very religious.

They're Buddhist. They're very religious. they go to the temple a few times a week. Growing up, they have never talked about sex. And if there's like a sex scene in a movie on TV, they will fast forward it. Oh my God. So what do they think about this now that,

I mean, you're out there. You talk about sex. You have no shame. So what do they think? Oh, it took them a few years to get used to it. I'm pretty sure my dad still tells his friends that I'm a social science professor. That's so funny.

She's a doctor. She's a doctor. She's a doctor. Uh-huh. She is. Yeah. I mean, it's not a lie. But at the same time, I don't think he tells people like, oh, I teach about sex or I talk about sex online or I'm on TV talking about sex. You know, it's still hard for them. But you know what? My mom is 69 years old. And just a couple years ago, I got her very first vibrator. She probably loves it and didn't want to say anything. Like, that was probably the best gift she ever received in her life. She probably doesn't want to tell you guys. She does. She's in a much better mood these days. You changed the trajectory of your mom's whole life. Yeah, exactly. That is great. Was there like a moment when you knew, whether you were going through school or whatever, that you were like, you know what, like this is what I want to do.

You know, I want, I really want to talk about sex and the importance of it between relationships. Was there like a defining moment? I think the defining moment for me was not having sexual compatibility in my first. marriage and getting a divorce. I was very ashamed of getting a divorce during that time because I was already teaching about it at a university, but I was talking to talk and not walking the walk. Yeah. And now I learn I don't have respect for people that just talk to talk and don't walk the walk. Like you've got to do what you say. And at the time, like overcoming that. Big D, not the one that I like, the divorce. It was a very, very difficult and shameful time. I had to

work on myself a lot to overcome that moment. And it took a couple of years. But afterwards, I feel like a brand new person. I always tell people, there is Tara before divorce and there is Tara after divorce. And Tara after divorce is upgraded. She is Tara 2.0. She speaks her mind. She gives feedback. She is unapologetic and I'm just being myself and I'm having fun doing it like who cares I love that I'm I'm divorced also and I mean I have a great relationship with my ex-husband in our it didn't have anything to do with sex but I agree with you after the divorce you kind of start living when you're not living your truth then things become you know when you start to really embrace who you are unapologetically whatever that looks like I feel like your life is just so much better you know you really

don't give you don't give a fuck what people think after a while so I I I I I mean, look, sex is still, even like I'm embarrassed to say sex, you can kind of tell still, you know, as women, we think we're so progressive, but it's still like a weird, not weird. I don't want to say weird. It's not weird. It's still a taboo subject matter that people don't love talking about. So for you, I mean, and people, and it's still controversial because you have a lot, there's a lot of controversy surrounding sex and when is the appropriate time?

Like, do you talk to, like, when is it appropriate? Do you get a lot of controversial comments and how do you deal with? with that? I get a lot of confidential comments. A lot of pushback, but also a lot of creepy DMs. Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure some creepy people send you stuff. Really creepy. It's sort of collateral of what I do. But it gives

a sense of people who are attractive and successful. They don't do that. Like the people in the DMs that are sending like really explicit sex stuff like I mean Is this an explicit podcast? I can give you an exam whatever you want girl say I love it just keep it raw authentic keep going So we have things like I'm gonna come inside you yeah weird fucking shit like I don't know you And you know sometimes my team because I have a whole team on my social media they will like scroll through it And they'll be like who the fuck is this they will like click on it just to like you like you know look at the person. And it's like someone's dad. Yeah, weird. And it's just the grossest thing.

Like, why do you think you have the privilege and right to send me that? You think I will respond? Like, come on. So weird. But do you think it's because, and not, first of all, that's unexcusable, but do you think people, well, the internet makes it easy, right? Because you can be whoever you want. But do you think a lot of it has to do with society kind of shunning people on like their sexual desires, their sexual needs? 1,000% it's the Madonna whore complex, right? Like you're either a Madonna

and you're like this Virgin Mary, you're a girl next door, your wifey material and you're shy and innocent, right? Or you're a whore if you're, you know, dress explicitly, if you talk explicitly or, you know, people just think they can do, they can say whatever they want.

They have the leeway. It's that complex, that's so toxic in our society. It doesn't give women any, like, gray area. Yeah. Like you are multi-dimensional, bad bitch. Like you can be, you know, let's say you can be someone that praise every day, but also masturbate every day, but also closing deals every day.

Right. And a great mom and a great wife. Like, you can be all these things. But society as in general doesn't give room for women to be all these things. It's either you're good, you're a good woman or you're a bad woman. Yeah. And same with religion. I don't think religion helps.

either because I believe like masturbation in religion is also a sin. And they, you know, people, people are scared to express. Even today as like as it as expressive as we are in 20206, people are still scared to come out and say, you know, I like sex. I want to, I want to have sex with lots of men. And it's funny because I tell my daughter, I'm like, not, I don't tell her to go sleep around, but I'm like, Lily, go figure out what you want. Not necessarily sleep with everybody, but how do you know what you want until you get a taste of what's around you? doesn't make you a whore. That makes you somebody that wants to explore and understand what you want because otherwise you're going to end up divorced. You're such a, you're such a sex positive mom,

and that's amazing because in research we found that sex positive parents, meaning parents that are not shaming their kids for exploration, for their interest, for their curiosity, tend to raise children or tend to raise young adults that make much better decisions. I mean, look, this is ridiculous to me. I have an 18-year-old and a 15-year-old. Okay, first of all, they're both, you know, whatever. They're doing their thing. Oh, my God.

You look 208. How do you have an 18-year-old? I love you. I love you. You're my new best friend. But I have two kids, right? And I would be a fool to think that my kids are not going to have sex. This is ridiculous.

And the parents that think this, I don't care. This is controversial. your kids are probably having sex if they're at that age or exploring some method of sex. So why are we not talking about it more with kids? Why are we making this like a taboo subject? So yes, we are very forward about it. We talk about it at the kitchen table. My kids are in, I have a girl and a boy, both are not afraid to tell me, maybe a little, they tell me a little too much sometimes. But I would rather them come to me, ask me so at least we can properly educate and inform. So there is no, you know, there's no shaming and they're never. going to be in a situation, especially my daughter, to where she feels like she has to succumb to anybody's needs or wants or desires that she's uncomfortable with.

Hell yeah. I want to give you like a thousand snaps. It's important. That is so empowering. That is so empowering and so hopeful for me as an educator to hear because in college, I always survey my students. Like, how many of you have sex positive parents and I give them a description, right? Like your parents talk to you about sex or your parents are available for you to come to them to talk about it. Like you feel comfortable to talk to them about it. Almost all of them said, no, I don't feel comfortable talking to my parents about my sex and dating life. Like, that is to me insane. It's crazy. That is insane. Like, I would

never want to be that kind of parent because what kind of parent are you that your kids can't come to you about the most intimate? One of the most important human things. I absolutely agree. I absolutely agree and I never want, especially having a daughter. Look, again, like I didn't, it wasn't like I couldn't come to my mom. It's just not something we spoke about. And I remember growing up and finding myself in precarious situations because I didn't know enough and I didn't understand enough and I wasn't comfortable enough. And the last thing I'd ever want for my daughter is to find herself in a position where she's uncomfortable because I feel like sex. And Craig, you know, you're the expert. Sex is like your own personal relationship. It's like your relationship with God. That's your personal,

Like whatever that is and entails, that doesn't make you any less of a person. Absolutely. Sex is one of the most intimate human experience you can ever have in this lifetime. And it's why we hear. Yeah. Right. People procreate for centuries and it's why we hear. So when it's so shameful, it's really doing humanity in general a disservice.

when it's more open-minded and we can talk about it, have a conversation, then people can explore more, they can have more pleasure, they can have a more fulfilling life in general. And that fulfilling life is what I'm looking for. It's what I want in my life.

I don't want a mediocre life. I want the most fulfilling, exciting, explorative life I can have. And that's why I love what I do. Do you think that sex is a huge part in a relationship? Yeah, I do. There is, okay, let me step back a bit. There are two different love styles, right?

And it's based on the Greek words, store gay and arrows. Stor gay lovers are friendship-based love, like companionship, partnership, meaning it's the people that can function together well. They don't really care too much about passion and sexual intimacy. They are companions. They're the best companions. And this is the store gay lovers.

Some people just experience love that way. Right. They want friendship-based love. Some people, majority of the people, are Eros lover, E-R-O-S. And E-R-O-S-and-E-R-O-S. Right. Sexual attraction in their relationship. It's like one of the main driving mechanism in the relationship.

So if you are an Eros lover, but you go on a... date and develop a relationship with a store gay lover, you won't be happy because the store gay lover is completely fine with a friendship-based romantic relationship for the long run. Do you help them

like navigate through that to where there's like some like happy medium? There is a happy medium. Ultimately, I talk about it in my book which is called How Do You Like It? In my book, there's a whole chapter about erotic solutions. I'm not in the camp of like oh if you are sexually different you are doomed because you're not

like there are so many differences in our lives right like if my partner loves sports and I hate sports it's not like we can't be together right so there are solutions like for example one of the sexual dimensions that you are so if you look in the book the first chapter is like what is your sexual profile and it's the sex personality test that I created. Once you take the test, it will tell you who you are in bed and like the dimensions of it. One of the dimensions talk about being leaning towards monogamous or leaning towards flexible. A flexible person just is open-minded towards like including others in their sexual activity. It doesn't have to be an open relationship. It's just like flexible. If you, if one person in the relationship is flexible, but the other is completely

entirely monogamous, meaning they will not allow a single person, other person in bed. Like no threesomes, no exploration that way. What you can do that I talk about as an erotic solution, like one of them. Yeah. Is watching POV porn together. Yeah. Because that's introducing another person in your sexual session in the bedroom without an actual person joining.

So that's like an example of an erotic solution. I have so many different solutions for different problems. in the book, but that's just one of them. Do you find that couples that explore sexuality? Because I don't know, I've heard this though, like people that are open with their, they have open relationships. Do you feel like, do you think that their marriage is doomed or could they really, any, like an open marriage or could they really make it work towards an open marriage?

If you let other things and influences in. There are people that are in very happy, fulfilling open marriages. And there are people that are in really toxic open marriages, just like monogamy. Yeah. There's no, you know, which one is better. I think both are great. Monogamy or non-monogamy as long as it's upfront, honest and genuine and communicative and pleasurable. Because there are monogamous couples that I work with in my private practice that have been, like, you know, one person has been cheating on the other for like years.

Yeah. Right. So monogamy has its own. issue, a list of issues. And then non-monogamy also has its own list of issues. So I don't think there's better or worse. I have seen both. I've seen really healthy and happy monogamy and non-monogamy. And I love that because it goes to show, you know, whatever your relationship orientation is, you can be happy. And there's a difference. I think a lot of people didn't know. There's a difference between sexual orientation and relationship orientation. Yeah.

Yeah. And I think society makes it hard too because the way you're brought up, at least the way that I was brought up is there's, you know, a man and a woman and that's really kind of it. And the exterior things that are going on, that's not really, that's not really a thing. So I love that you say. So there's really no one size fits all that is right for a marriage. Every marriage is different and builds on different things. Yeah. I mean, a couple that I worked with in the last three years, they do like what is called. like Valentine's trip every year where it's kind of like their whole pass. And it's just that, it's just February. Like the rest of the year, they are monogamous. So February they can go and just be with whoever they want. So February is where they go abroad. Like usually they go to Amsterdam or they go to Paris. Together or separate?

Both. Oh, maybe I can explore that. I don't know. Maybe. Yeah. And they're both like entrepreneurs. They have their own businesses that work. They work on the computer.

so they can like go do that. So every Valentine's month, they go and do that. But the rest of the year, they come back and they just function like a normal, like, monogamous couple. I think there's so many different configurations. I think, too, what you're really highlighting that we don't talk about enough is that there's no such thing as normal. Like, that's not a real thing.

Normal, it goes by the standard of whoever's living, whatever their life looks like. And for so long, we've created this, like, facade of what it should look like. but when in fact it doesn't work for everybody. Do you think that's why there's a lot of divorce too? Because we're trying to fit. We're trying to put a round peg into a square hole making it work because we're so worried about what everybody else thinks. So we find ourselves, I mean, I know for myself, you know, I'm always worried or I was,

not so much anymore. I'm always worried about what our families are going to think. Our friends are going to think. If this gets out, if that comes out. But just, you know, listening to you, you make it just seem like very normal. Like it is what it is. You know, there's different things. for different strokes for different folks, and that's okay.

You are 1,000% right because it's the society that tells you, here's a square, like put your peg in there and, you know, you can be any shape. You can be a star and it wouldn't fit the square. You can be a circle and it wouldn't fit the square. And you would just live in a mediocre situation forever because you don't fit the square. That's why I'm so passionate about educating people that there are variations and different dynamics out there for whatever that you want to explore for your relationship, whatever you want to explore for yourself. There's a long menu, right? We live in a society where there's only like two options on the menu when in fact the menu is long.

It's a big menu. And you can just pick whatever you want in this modern. in society. Although I do have to give a caveat, there are places in the world that really can't do that or else you get just died. Which is sad too. That's a whole other. It's really sad. That's why I'm so grateful, you know, I live in a big city because we can pretty much do whatever we want. Yeah. Do you think monogamy is a real, do you think that that's a sustainable thing for a marriage, a long-term marriage, for both partners? Only people that were made for monogamy. Do you think that we as humans,

were designed to be monogamous. Only some of us have that type of orientation. Yeah, I agree. I think we're primal. I think most people are primal people. We are not most. We all are primal people. So it's how you excerpt. But I don't know. Again, I'm not the expert. I'm just assuming. No, we definitely have given a societal structure to only be in monogamy. If non-monogamy was as accepted as monogamy, you will see more than 50% of the people engaging in non-monogamy. So what is the biggest, what is the biggest, let's get dirty a little bit? What's the biggest secret that you find amongst couples that they, you know, that kind of changes everything for them to lead a more like sexual together type of life that you've

uncovered from couples? Like something that they're holding back. They don't want to talk about. I would say like deep sexual desires or like their sexual fantasies. people have very intense sexual fantasies and a lot of people are in their own way like perverts. Yeah. I agree. Yes.

I agree with you. You know, like acceptable, lovable perverts. Yeah. If you're in a relationship where there's absolute trust and emotional safety and you can share that to your partner, it's so damn liberating. I love that. I have told all my partners about my sexual fantasies or things I want to try. and some of them are like really out there.

And to be accepted and loved the same way, even though I have said some perverted things to them, is the most liberating feeling, right? Like that is, that is love. I think everybody has perverted feelings. We just don't want to talk about it because we're worried about what other people have to say. So what happens when you tell your partners

like some outlandish crazy shit in there, are they running for the hills or are they like, all right, let's try it? Yeah. I mean, they're, I mean, depending, on who I'm talking to because like I'm polyamorous so I have a husband that lives in

L.A. and I also like date here in London. Wait, hold on pause. You didn't say that. Hold on. Let's talk about that. So your polyamor you have a whole husband and then you date okay. Tell me. I would say just so it doesn't just so it doesn't sound like a caste system. I have

a partner. So I have a partner in L.A. and I also have a partner here in London and we're open. So we're all open. So my husband can date other people and have a girlfriend in L.A. and my partner here can also date other people. I love that. So you can, I mean, but you guys, but you three are in a relationship together.

So I'm in a relationship with my partner in L.A. and my partner in London. But you can have outside people too. But yeah. But like we are in a relationship, like a relationship relationship. But you can like go on a date. Oh. Like you can have, you can have. I kind of like that.

Maybe I'm actually, yeah, you can have casual connections that are fun and interesting and exciting and still respectful. Like, obviously, I don't do like one-night stand or anything like that. I develop relationships with people. But yeah, like my, I would say my partner in LA and my partner here are my main partners. And these are the people that I like take care of emotionally. Right. Do they communicate?

Are they friends? They are not friends. but they know about each other. And hopefully this year at some point they can meet because one of them live here in London and the other one lives in L.A. That is so pimp. I just love that for you.

I just love that for you. I do. I love that. Intercontinental lover. So switching gears. So right now you're on, you're hosting a reality TV show, right? So let's talk a little bit about that

and how you even like, how did you even get on the show? Yeah. So the casting directors reached out to me asking if I wanted to audition and do a screen test. And I went through like a long process of a few months of different auditions and a screen test and another screen test. And I got the gig. The one day they called me was like, hey, you got the gig. Come to London next month.

We're going to start filming. So this was four years ago because this is my fourth season. And it's so much fun. So on this show, it's called celebs go dating. Yeah. Which I really hope we have an American version because it's so much fun. It's an amazing show. So I basically, the premise is I and two of my co-hosts, we own what is called the celebrity dating agency.

Right. And we have celebrities in the agency every season and then we match them with non-celebrities and then send them out on a date. And then they come back and report and we give them like coaching and therapy and then send them out again on a different date. So, you know, the celebrities on the show can go on like eight, ten, ten. different needs of different people. But this is your business. Wait, you didn't say that. This is your business also.

Yeah, it is. That's amazing. So you're not only on reality TV, but it's also part of your business. So you have this agent, like a matchmaking agency? Would that be? Kind of. Yeah, but I wouldn't, the agency that's on the show, it's just for the show. But personally, my private practice, I also do that.

Yeah. I love love, girl. I'm a lover girl. That's why I have multiple partners. I love that. You're like you, oh my God, it's like a true Cupid over here. You have like love. You just love love love love, huh? I love, love, love is all around. I love love love and I love orgasms. I love that even more for you, but I love that you just are so open about it because it's, and listen, I don't get uncomfortable much at all, but this topic makes me a little uncomfortable talking about orgasms. This is so cute because you're like, you are a boss bitch, you know? I know, but even like saying orgas, even saying, even saying, penis makes me laugh. Like, I'm like five. I'm five. Yeah. Do you enjoy multiple orgasms?

I wish I could have multiple orgasms on a daily basis, but it doesn't, you know, life gets in the way. Oh, I know. That's why we have vibrators. Girl, I can't. I already told you a funniest story. I dated this guy and then he was so mad. He sent me a box of vibrators to my office. It was so, I was mortified. I was mortified. You can't. I'm going to have some fun with you right now, okay? Real. All right.

So this is going to be rapid fire. All right. So you're going to say true or false. Professor answers, not TV answers. Ready? Most people in long-term relationships are sexually unsatisfied and just not saying it. True. Yeah.

Women have a higher capacity for sexual pleasure than men. We've just been told the opposite our whole entire lives. Absolutely true. Couples therapy is too little, too late. By the time most couples go, the relationship is already gone. False. Sexual compatibility is more important than emotional compatibility in a long-term relationship. Both are necessary.

The way someone behaves in bed tells you everything about how they'll behave in a relationship. True. Yeah, I would say, yeah, like a lazy lover, then you know it. The way you do one thing in life is the way you do everything in life. Exactly. You know, although Samantha Jones isn't a real person. I love Samantha Jones from Sex and the City. One of her quotes that I really love is who you are in bed is who you are in life.

Yeah. I mean, it makes sense. Yeah, same thing. Same premise. The way you can, because I've had some lazy lovers and there are some lazy pieces of shit men. Yeah. And they don't put in the effort or anything. No, they don't care.

They just lay back and, you know, everything gets handed to them. type of thing. Yeah, I, that's so funny. Yes, that is super, super funny. All right. So what's next for you? Like, you have so many things going on. I know some things we can't talk about, but like, what is really your long term? My long term is to become the Oprah of sex. Really? Like, like touring, maybe going into, I mean, I think it's important sex ed, like, but real sex ed. Not the shit they teach us in schools. Exactly. Yeah, I think I have the credentials, I have the TV experience, I keep building my resume. One day I want to have my own show like Oprah, but we talk about people's sex lives and relationships and the good stuff, the fun stuff, the naughty stuff, but the hard stuff also. I would love to do that kind of show. And I think soon TV will be ready for that. I'm actually building my other show right now called S Explorer. and it's called Sixth Explorer, Dr. Tara,

and it's where I go and explore different subcultures of sexual activities. So, like, one of the episodes is me going to see a professional dominatrix and get trained to become a certified dominatrix. I mean, I love that. I love what you're doing. I really do, you know, as taboos, it still is, I do think the importance of understanding sex and talking about sex is extremely important, especially for our youth and not being shamed.

Because so many times people are ashamed and then what happens when you're not talking about, team pregnancy happens. You know, then you also have women that are, they're so insecure about who they are, their bodies, their sexual desires that you end up, you know, shaming. You feel shamed about what you're doing. And really your voice, even though like we're laughing and we're talking tongue and cheek about some things, it's so important. I don't think people really understand the importance of sexuality,

especially for women and what it's like to be a woman talking about sex. Yeah, I mean, that's why, I mean, I absolutely love you because you're not in the sexuality or sexual wellness industry, but you're speaking out about it, like on your business podcast. This is what I'm talking about is more people that are, you know, figure of authority in various industries, speaking about how important intimacy is. Yeah, it's super important. Yeah, it's really one thing, you know, this is funny. I've never talked about this before, but one fun fact about me is my family was in the porn industry.

They were one of the most. Yeah, my uncle was a famous, Cecil Howard was a famous porn director in the 1970s and 80s. Yeah, that's a, that is a true, you can look it up. I actually, I didn't do a voiceover for one of his porn videos, but for one of his, one of his horror movies. I did for a little girl when I was little, but yeah, I, and, um, I remember growing up and there was like video, like, you know, he run like all kinds of Grammys and whatever it is, his awards. And they were, they were around the house.

And my aunt was mortified. But they were, they were so wealthy. And they never spoke about this until. And then obviously when I got older, I realized like, you know, the last X-rated film, I realized what that was. But yeah, they were even, even coming from a family like, yeah, can you believe this? Yes. So it was. So it's not something that I didn't grow up with.

It just was something that wasn't really explicitly spoken about, although it was a huge staple in our family. It's not funny. Like my uncle gave Ron Jeremy a stardom. Stop. That is so cool. That's really funny. It's just funny.

Not a lot of people can have this kind of fun fact at the dinner table. Right? It's so funny. But I, so let's advertise. Let's talk about your book because I think a lot of women need help. Myself included, talk about your book and what your book has. Yes. So my book is called How Do You Like It, a Guide, A Guide,

forgetting what you want in bed. And it's really a guide for getting what you want in general. It is a foundational book of understanding your own sexuality, your own sexual preferences, how to talk about it, and how to solve problems regarding your dating, relationship, and sex. So all about that. The very first chapter is one of my favorites because it's what is your sexual profile. One of the main problems that I notice is when I ask my clients, like, describe to me, me who you are in sex. They don't know what to say. They don't know how to describe themselves. And I realized there is a gap in the education of understanding of self-knowledge. So I created this test so that when people start the book, they first take the test, they already know more

about themselves. And where can people find it? Oh, sorry, where can people find your book? You can find it anywhere that sells books. So Barnes & Nobles, Amazon, my website, my website is www. Lovebytes.com. That's L-U-V-B-I-T-E-S.C-O. And if people want to find you, where would they find you? My Instagram and TikTok is at lovebites.co. That's L-U-V-B-I-T-E-S dot CO.

Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know about you, but today's show was really, it was great. I mean, I love how Dr. Tara, she didn't make it feel dirty or inappropriate. It's really just unapologetically who she is, and there is no reason that we can't talk more openly about sex. It's not a dirty word. It's not something that we should even take for granted,

but really just embrace it. So I hope that you guys took an important nugget. I sure did to be a little bit more confident in talking about sex without, like, blushing like I am right now. But no, it was incredible. Ladies, really, you know, explore your sexuality. I think happy wife, happy life, right? What were you saying?

Have an orgasmic day. Have an orgasmic day. If you like today's conversation, please go ahead, like, subscribe, unsubscribe, do something, leave a comment, drop a note for us, let us know your feelings, your thoughts. And if you love today's conversation, tune in for more amazing conversations on the Belfod. Dr. Tara, I loved you. I loved your energy. I love the conversation.

Thanks, girl, for coming on. Thank you so much.