BILFPOD - Keni Silva — Purpose After the Pivot

Episode Date: May 1, 2025

In this powerful episode of BILFpod, host Mara Dorne sits down with the fierce and fearless Keni Silva — international model turned entrepreneur, philanthropist, and certified divorce coach — to unpack what it really means to rewrite your narrative and lead with purpose.From the glam of global runways to the growth that came through life’s unexpected pivots, Keni shares the mindset, grace, and grit it took to evolve through every chapter. This isn’t just a story about divorce — it’s about rebirth, resilience, and reclaiming your power.Tap in to hear:    •    Keni’s rise from international modeling to becoming a voice for empowerment, purpose, and reinvention    •    How she turned personal adversity into a platform for purpose    •    The power behind her best selling book Divorce As An Opportunity    •    How a deeply personal experience shaped her philanthropic mission    •    Her passion for supporting families through the Children’s Oncology Support Fund    •    What it truly takes to rebuild, reimagine, and rise againThis conversation is for anyone in transition, the dreamers on pause, and the leaders rebuilding brick by brick.Keni is living proof that you can evolve through anything — and still walk away in your power.CONNECT WITH KENI SILVAInstagram: @kenisilva_Threads: @kenisilva_Website: https://kenisilva.comCONNECT WITH MARA DORNEInstagram: @maradorneWebsite: https://www.maradorne.com#BILFpod #KeniSilva #MaraDorne #BossIdLikeToFollow #PurposeAfterThePivot #DivorceAsAnOpportunity #FromPainToPower #ReinventionStory #WomenInLeadership #EmpoweredWomenEmpowerWomen #RealTalkPodcast #TransformationVibes #PhilanthropyWithHeart #GlowUpJourney #MindsetReset #HealingInPublic #BILFCommunity #LevelUpSeason #PurposeDriven #BossMovesOnly

Whatever you're going to pick in life, you're not married to it. You can change it anytime. If one day you decided you want to be a chef and open a restaurant, okay, go learn. Like that's the most beautiful thing in the world. You know, you're not stuck. Welcome back to the Billspot where authenticity Trump's Authority. here today with a beautiful actress, model, gorgeous, beautiful author. I have Kenny Silva here. Wait, but before you even get to talk, do you know what a BILF is? No. You don't know what a BILF is.

It's a boss I'd like to follow. Oh my God. That's an order. Like, I love that. That's you. You're a BIL. That's why I get it. I love that. Can I get it in writing? Yes. I'm going to give you a BILF like certificate. Oh my God. I love this. I'm going to put it in next to my divorce certificate, you know, divorce coach. I'm going to be an official boss. You'll be a Biltf coach. Belf coach. Well, I'm so excited that you're here. We're live on location here at the Gopry in freezing cold, L.A. I'm glad that you told me that 70 degrees in Florida is complete. Now I'll know for next time.

Yes. I might come out here. But you are, you are a model, media personality, right? Philanthropist and an author of a bestselling book. So let's talk about that a little bit. You really are a true Belf, a mom, too. Yeah. Two kids, right? Two kids. 13 and 16. So my daughter is going to be 17 and my son is going to be 13 next month. How do you do it? I don't think I can do any other way, to be honest with you.

When I have a free day, I'm like freaking out. I'm like, okay, okay, I have to find a new project. I think I work better under stress. Yes. And I think multitasking and I always have to have something in mind that I'm working towards. Yeah. Otherwise, I feel I'm not fulfilled. And that's what I think happened in my marriage.

I was so concentrated on one thing, building the family, being the best mom, that I lost that part of me inside, being that boss, creating something for myself. And that's where then happiness came and it has nothing to do. I mean, there's obviously a couple's argument. Right. But for me, the biggest thing, I lost myself. And that's why I say divorce as an opportunity because it was, it was sad because it was something ended, but it was also a new beginning. It was the rebirth of being. Something that I met my ex.

I was 23. And when I filed a divorce, it was 38. And it was time for a change. And, yeah. I mean, changes are scary. They are. And you don't know, you know, how it's going to be the fear of unknown, the fear of, well, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm losing everything I have for nothing.

Yeah. And I just start thinking, like, okay, well, I don't even know what I want at this point. Yeah. Because I'm a totally new person. You know, like 20s and 30s are very different. Completely different. Especially for a woman, once you become a mother, you become responsible for another person. Yes.

And you start to realize and like, okay, well, what do you? Like, I'm raising them to be somebody. I know who I want them to be, but I don't know who I want to be. Yeah. And I started looking into that and I realized in my marriage, it was not where I could find that. And coming to that decision was actually very hard and scary. It's like admitting, waking up in a beautiful home with everything you ever wanted. And you're like, you know what, I'm not happy.

And saying it too out loud and saying, I want to change. It was scary. That's so cool. Everything that you're saying, I can 100% relate. Because I also met my husband when I was 21, my ex-husband, and I was divorced by 30. but I remember on my 30th birthday blowing out the candles, I'll never forget this. I blew out the candles and I knew I was getting divorced. I knew it. And it was scary because I was afraid of what my family thought. There was no divorce in my family. I was afraid of what everybody

else was going to think. But there was something inside of me that just wasn't the same person as I was when I was 21, 22 years old. And now here I am 32 kids. And I'm like, oh my God. And you're right. You have a beautiful home. You have beautiful kids. But when you are not fulfilled inside, that is when things have to change immediately. So it's just funny that you even talked about that because that's exactly what happened for me. And I made the decision. And honestly, getting divorced really ignited this fire inside of me.

And that's when my career took off, believe it or not. I love my ex-husband. I just don't want to be married to him. And I'm sure he feels the same way. Exactly. And it's normal. And I think a lot of women don't realize it's okay. You still can be friends. I still tell him, like, listen, like, if you need me,

You know, like, I'll be there to take you to the doctor. Yeah. Do whatever you need. We're still best friend. Just don't want to be married to you. It's just like, I still love you. I'm not in love with you. Yeah. Just don't be married to you.

Exactly. And I'm like, and that's why in the book, I opened the book with saying I take full responsibility. Yeah. I don't want to blame. Whatever happened, happen, you know. And that's the biggest thing I think we need to let go of the past. Yes. We need to accept it.

You know, grieve, heal. and then move forward and say, you know what, it was, you know, that's the past. They can't change it. Yeah. And better what happens, you know, but the future I want different. Yeah. And I want to build from, even if you didn't have a good relationship during marriage, you can still create a beautiful relationship after, especially if you have children.

Yeah. Agreed. I, exactly. Same thing. I love my ex-husband. I will help him. I'm usually the first person to help him, too. I'll do, but being married to him is not something that is ever going to happen.

in and you know what beautiful things did come from it. I have two beautiful children. You know, we had a lot of great times, a lot of great memories, but you're right. I accept full responsibility. I left. I was the one that left. I'm the one that, I guess, ruined the marriage. And, but I wouldn't change anything. And I'm not, I'm not apologetic for it. I'm 100% happy with the decision that I made, and I think I'm a better person for it. And the kids are better for it. You know, everybody, all of us, we're in great places in our lives. And you can't have a divorce and then still relive your, You can still ignite who you are and then live, you know, and be prosperous and have this amazing life outside of it.

There is life beyond divorce. Yes, 100%. There you go. And I think that's where the strength comes in when you realize all that. You don't sit and blame well, why didn't it work out? No. You just, you know what? Okay, next.

Yeah, that's all you can do. It is, it is. It just happened. Yeah, and I think our relationship is better that we're divorced than when we were married. You know, it works. We co-parent great. We have great conversations, but we're just never going to be married again. Never.

You've had such a diverse career and dynamic between you modeled, which is amazing. TV, let's talk a little bit about that. Let's dig a little deep and talk about that. So tell me about it and then tell me about your philanthropist that you're doing, your philanthropy that you're doing. I started modeling I was 14. And actually, I was very shy. Gorgeous. Thank you.

To me, it was more to find the freedom. I grew up in Moscow and I wanted to find that freedom and making money when I was very young. Like there is something. I grew up in a class family. I went to a great school. I learned English, German. Like there's so many languages for my parents. It was very important to have a degree and to go to a university. That's why I have so many degrees because it's so easy for me and that's something that my parents expected for me. But I always wanted the freedom to do and travel and do what I want. And my mom always told me, you know, you have to be financially independent from men. So at 1415, I'm not the person who like serve tables. That's not me. Right. But I figured I'm like,

okay, I look beautiful. I can make money in modeling. Why not? Right. Seriously. And I started. And at 18, I went to Milan. I lived in Milan and I still go back to Moscow to finish my education. And 19, I came here. I had a contract with elite. And I loved it. Like I loved every step of the way. and at 23, I met my ex-husband. I was planning, actually, to move to New York. And he's like, well, why wouldn't you stay? I said, you know, if I'm going to stay, the LA is not a modeling place, I would go and get a fashion degree, so I have that.

And I like different things. And it's just, you know, when we were together, we invested a lot in real estate, so I got my broke real estate license. So it's like always, and I think, and I tell my children, I said, whatever you're going to pick in life, you're not married. to it. You can change it anytime. If one day you decided you want to be a chef and open a restaurant, okay, go learn. Like that's the most beautiful thing in the world. You know, you're not stuck. You can change. You can change your career. You can be whoever you want to be. You want to sing. You

want to be a lawyer. Everything is possible. You're going to have to work for it. Yeah. Nothing comes easy. I tell them from the beginning. I'm like, sure. Nothing comes easy. It's like sometimes by side and say, oh, like, you know, like home. I'm like, listen, like I get it. I was a kid too. at school. Homework, it's boring, but it teaches you to do things that are necessary to get somewhere. It has nothing to do. It's not really like you're smart or not smart. It's just you have to follow through. Yeah. That's really what it is. You're right. Exactly. You're absolutely right. So now you're modeling. Okay. And then how to TV person out like where did that come from? Author like all these degrees. How did you have time to do all this? You have a million degrees.

Like you really are a bill. I don't know. Well, I feel like 24 hours is not enough. for me in an hour in a day. I just, I mean, I guess I lived a long life and I had so many lives in one life because I'm always evolving. I'm always, you know, to me, personality, my girlfriend was a housewife and I was actually going through divorce and it was something to get my mind off. You know, you're going to get ready and you go and you're feeling something funny and it's just like, it was an escape from reality.

Let's put it this way. And up to that, it was done. It was not something I wanted. But the book, I used to journal my whole life. But during divorce especially, because I'm very private person in a sense. We didn't even tell anybody we were going through divorce until later on until like we already were divorce. And I did it because, you know, Orange County is much smaller community. And we lived through divorce in the same house.

We went on vacations. We went to dinners. I wanted to preserve that life for my children as much as I can at the time. I thought it was a good idea. And now I'm like, it doesn't really matter. So I go read the band day as fast as you can. It's like the healing stuff. But at the time, that's what it was.

And I didn't want people to start gossiping and talking and get to my children. And, you know, so we lived together during divorce. And the only way I didn't want to tell my friends a lot of things, I was journaling. I was journaling from fears to emotional things that I was going through. And then I started realizing like, wow, I'm learning so many things too. like the advice that my attorney get or the things I started because I always do planning years in advance. So I'm like, okay, like this is what I need to work on.

This is like what's like from where to leave, what to get to where I want to be. And that's how it kept me also motivated and something working towards. And then I realized there's so much I learned. I'm like, you know, divorce is not all about sadness. And that's, I don't, I don't even want to remember it as something sad. Because I learned so much. It's like I grew as a person and I want to teach woman. You know, one time it got, and women are very emotional.

Let's put it this. And then I learned differences from how men look at it, how women look at it. And I was like, this is different. Like men look at it as a business transaction versus women. We emotionally invested it. And I decided I want to share it with the world, you know, with men, woman. and it's a guide from exactly steps in divorce and, you know, how to be prepared for it, how to be financially prepared for your next chapter, how to start preparing for your next chapter,

what to expect, how to tell your children. And, you know, and I give my feedback that, listen, it's okay to not know what you want. It's okay to have fears. It's okay to give yourself the first six months after divorce as a healing process, as a grieving process, is not expecting from yourself to reach to the moon. It's all okay. It's normal, you know? I love that. You did that. I wish that I had something like that because you really, going through divorce is a very, you're going from being with another person, you know, where your life is kind, you're together. You're kind of, you know, it's 50-50. You have help. And then you all of a sudden are in this space very alone. You have a couple, friends, right? Like, you don't even consider, you have, because I remember my, we had a couple friends. So what does that mean? Like, who's, who is your friend now? Are you still going with them

and hanging out, but on your own? Like, it was, it was very strange. And you do feel very alone when you're going from that couple world to that single world. And then you're right with the kids, like what you're used to being with a partner and being with the kids. Now you have to have your own relationship outside of that. So, I mean, I think what you're doing, what you did is incredible. You know, you really took it and made a roadmap for people. or for men or women to kind of look at it and at least be prepared for what lies ahead. That's incredible. That really is.

That is so amazing. Actually, about friendship. That's why I give advice in my book. I started a whole new group of friends. So they never knew my ex-husband. They didn't know me being married. Wow. And it's so much easier because I told my friends, I'm like, I don't want to give you a choice.

Like, I don't want you to pick. And they are in uncomfortable situations because they don't know like, Okay, and I'm like, listen, it's all good. You can be friends with him with me, with both of us. I don't care. It's not important for me. So I had a whole new group of friends that didn't even know him, and it was so much easier. Because you don't have to talk about things you don't want to.

They don't know him. And that's like, number one thing, like, okay, get you a new group of friends. Yes. You know, things like that. What you like with kids, how to adjust. What to, and actually, what you just said, the hardest thing after divorce was knowing there's no that wall or shoulder to. You know, if you have a flat tire, there's nobody to call, okay, what do I do? It's just you.

Yeah. And first it's a shock, but then you realize you become so strong. I was just going to say that. You become so much more independent. Independent. You don't get control over your life. Complete control. And you don't have to answer to anybody.

I think that was the most freeing part about it is that I could make decisions or the decisions that were made, I made them. So if things were to fall apart, that would be on me. Exactly. And not, you know, that wouldn't be, it's not joint. but it did make me so much more independent. You know, I didn't even have, when I left my ex-husband, I had no money, like nothing at all. I didn't even know how to rent an apartment. I had no idea.

I just didn't do that stuff. Like, he took care of all that stuff, the mortgage and like I had, we literally. I put a spreadsheet for women what to expect, what bills to expect to pay. I have no idea. I have a lot of people don't even have a check in account. No idea. I didn't have savings. I didn't have life insurance.

I didn't have. I had no real planning. I left with two kids. That's what I left with. And then I had to figure out the rest. And had I had a guide or book, that would have been life-saving for sure. That's so crazy. So now you write this amazing book. Tell me a little bit about the philanthropy that you're doing. Well, I always loved doing things. I think it was my calling actually to help people in a different way. And I'm not talking just about financially. It's more to me, it's direct helping, either fitting, you know, like, poor people or giving something or like I just always love that especially now with the book when women come up to me and they say you know like you changed my life that's what makes me go but I always wanted to do a little bit bigger and be on a board of a foundation and with my daughter health care she had a journal tumor that was so big that the doctors thought she's going to have stage two cancer and thank God it was not it was benign but so

the same week, my friends, he asked me to be on a board of a charity that I just came back from their gala for pediatric cancer. And it was just like a universe showing me the path. Because I always ask for universe to show me my path. And it's like, okay, like just I'll work it through to show me where to go. Shine the light. And it was it. And it's been, you know, like I've been on the board for the last two years. That was, you know, my. And I'm so. proud of what we do because I strongly believe we're not just, you know, donate money for pediatric cancer research. We also partner up with hospitals around the country to give them art and music program. And my daughter is a musician, so I know how music is therapeutic for these

children. Sometimes it's just feeling normal, you know, just being a kid and doing something with arts and music. And it's so important. So my philanthropist started a long time ago with different companies with different organizations. But this is where my true calling now has been on the board of CSF and doing something extremely meaningful. We just had our gala in Aspen, our annual gala. And my daughter was performing actually the song there. Because most of her music, she puts her pain through what she went in the lyrics of the songs.

So it's called Backseat Driver. because she felt when she was sick, she was in the back, because I didn't tell her. I wasn't telling her. I was so scared to tell her your child that, you know, like, you have a tumor that's potentially, I couldn't. How old was she? She was, well, she was 17. At the time, she was 14. And it was after divorce already.

And she just, like, she just went through one traumatic experience and all this. I didn't know. So she only figured it out because she was in the cancer floor. She's like, mom, like, I figured it out. Like, it says everywhere. Like, kids with like, yeah. It's like, but ever since that, she told me, it's like, please never hide anything from me. I'd rather know what I'm going through and I'm fighting for and we can do it together versus not knowing scary.

So basically, like kids, I think in the end, they just want to be loved. That's all. And they don't really give a shit about anything else. And they want to know that you're happy. I know that for my kids. Like my kids always say to me, they are always like, we never want you to be with dad ever because you're much happier without dad. And it's true because they really don't care. And they, I mean, for them, they are so resilient.

And they accept it. They know that we both love them. And it is what it is. Like, they're absolutely okay with it. And they adjusted just fine. You know, for me, it was a big thing. I was very scared that my kids would judge that I broke the family. And I can understand that.

And then now with time and me explaining to them. And, you know, like my daughter, especially for my daughter, because my son was still too little to, you know, but she's a teenager. She understands everything. And she now tells me, like, Mom, you know, like, I understand why you did what you did. I'm so happy to see you living your full life. And I said, you know what, Alexis, honestly, the part of me doing what I did, because you as a woman, I want you to know, we sacrificed a lot as a lot. Especially as mom. It's mom.

And I wanted you to see that, you know, if you're not happy, it doesn't matter. You know, it's a marriage, it's work. You can change that. Yes. And you don't have to. You don't have to stay. Amen. I think so many women stay. I honestly wanted to show you as an example.

Because I know my parents stayed married for me. You don't want them to do that. I remember since the age of 12, I wanted them to get divorced. And I felt like I felt like the reason they were not happy is because they had to stay in something they don't want because of me. So I love the house at 17. It was like, okay, like go get to wars. Yeah, yeah. It's the same thing for my daughter.

my daughter, I do remember feeling like, how am I going to tell her the truth? Because I did this. I left. I left. But you know what? My daughter doesn't care. And you're right. I want my daughter to know that she does not ever have to stay somewhere that she's unhappy. And the minute she's unhappy, she's to leave. I would never want her to stay. You know, especially for a woman, you know, having a daughter. You know what it's like they already have so much pressure. And then to feel like they're stuck is the worst feeling. And I remember feeling like that like, oh my God, I'm stuck. I'm going to be the first in my family to be divorced. what is everyone going to think? Oh my God, my kids. But you know what? In the end, I can tell you hands down that that was the best thing I could have ever done for her to see, like you said,

and just for me, myself, and to become who I became after the divorce. Incredible. I'm on the same page with you. I'm on the same page. So tell me a little bit about your modeling career, though. What, like, drew you to it and like the fashion industry too? But the fashion, it was more of a freedom in making money early. And just, listen, I love fashion. Honestly, that's why I graduated from theater. I have fashion degrees. Like, fashion is something to me, you know, like for actors acting, it's like they are somebody for a day or for a movie.

It's a different personality. To me, that's what fashion is. Like, of course. You're very fashionable today. Thank you so much. It's like, you know, like especially being a mom, it's like most of the time, like, hey, you get up at sex, you go to school like you in sweatpants. Yes.

So fashion to me is like, for a day, I get to be who I want to be and it changes the mood. And actually, especially during divorce, you know, when you don't feel as confidence, the look, the outfit, the dress can change who you are. A lot of times even when I have meetings over Zoom at home, which I can wear whatever I want, even the phone call I dress up. Even nobody sees me. But it's like the moment you put that suit on, it's something with your personality that changes. Yes.

And it's incredible. A lot of people ask me like, okay, what do you do to boost your confidence? So I'm like simply by putting something. Get dressed. Yes. I talk about this all the time. When you look good, you feel good. When you feel good, you do good.

And that starts with, I try like all if I'm feeling, even if I'm like, I feel a little sick. And I know I need to like go to work or whatever I need to do. The first thing I do is put my makeup on and then I'll get dressed and wear something nice. Like look really nice. It does. It changes. It gives you like a confidence booster. You know, you're like, oh, you know when you're feeling yourself.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And stop a little. Like, okay, I can conquer the world. Yes, when you look good, right? You put on a beautiful dress or like, you know, I had my hair done this morning. I felt horrible. I was so hung over today.

And as soon as I like had my hair done and my makeup done and I looked in the mirror, I'm like, okay. All right, here we go. Like Mara is back. You know, it's like all of a sudden you take the mask and like, there she is. I'll be like, oh, there she is. And then you feel good about yourself. Because you forget. You know, like with busy lives and running 100 things around sometimes and especially I know

for me, I'm very, I'm perfectionist. So unless it's like to perfection, it's like even my mom is like, okay, like you should be proud you did this. So now I have religiously, I celebrate things, small achievements. And actually that's been a biggest also confident was like, okay, like, well, I'm not talking about my book lounge, but like small things. Okay, I did this first time. Or I was, I just came from Tamer and a whole show. I'm like, okay, I did this. Like, yay, checkmarks. Celebrate. And that I realize gives you not just the confidence, but also something that you start realizing how big you grew. And you're proud. I mean, obviously, I'm very proud of myself. But sometimes you forget. Because you always on the next thing. Yes. And you want more. It's like never enough.

It's never enough. I know. And then there's moments when like I'm telling you, like I have a day like I'm not doing much, you know, work related or something. and you starts like feeling down. And I'm like, okay, reminder, you just did this, you just did this. It's okay. Like celebrate what you all right. Be grateful and being present. That's what I'm implementing in my life. This is the thing I think I struggle with is being present, you know, because I think people like us,

like we're always looking for more in evolution and continuously growing. And then you forget to live present. And I am also trying to be more present because I'm not home with the kids a lot. but when I am home, I'm very intentional and very present with them. Because you're right. You're like in the life in itself is just so hard. And then here you are. You're constantly on the go, constantly doing stuff because it's never enough.

I always feel like it's never enough. I'm never doing enough, right? Yes. I just think like I'm like as you're saying, I'm like thinking of all the stuff that I did, like I've done and I'm doing. And I'm like, that's still not enough, you know? But the most important part is to be intentional with what you're doing in presence. And we lose out on that so much.

So now after this divorce, okay, so I'm going to switch gears for one second. After the divorce, you became a divorce coach. Yes. So during writing a book, I'm like, you know, being a mom and everything else, and a both. Like once, yeah, remember I was preparing for a podcast and I was listening to the previous speaker and she was a divorce coach. I didn't even realize there's such a thing exists, to be honest. So I'm like, then I Googled. And I'm like, okay.

Like, that's easy. That's doable. What else am I doing with my nights when I don't have kids? Yeah, so let's add that on my plate. Why not? I remember my boyfriend calls me. He's like, why are you so happy? I'm like, I'm going to be certified my divorce coach.

He's like, wait, what? I'm like, listen, like, some woman get excited of buying a bag. I'm excited of getting a new degree. Like, this is me. I like, it doesn't matter. And I did it. Like, I signed up. It's online education and I get past this thing.

Because honestly, once you go through divorce, you know, know, like, it's, you know everything. Yeah. Like, you don't even need to like start. I mean, obviously I started, but it's, you live through it. You know what it is. Yeah. And to me, because I wanted helping woman, you know, and advocating not just because,

I'm very realistic about myself. So when people look at me, they're like, okay, like, she's blonde, dumb, you know, like, was married well. So I know how people perceive me. realistic about it. I'm not like, and I'm like, you know what? But once I have a degree, people love that. Like, they're going to look at me as, you know, she's an expert because she's an expert. No, you look like an expert to me. You do. You look like an expert. You do. And then when you start speaking, it's over. It's done. I know. It's a secret weapon. It's like, okay, there's

so many things in, you know, having the face. It was like, okay, first they all underestimate me. And then it's different. And I love it. But it was something I just wanted, I guess, for myself. And the book also, besides writing and helping, it was something I said, you know what, I'm going to something I never did before. It was proving to myself that after divorce, I can do whatever I want, I can start and finish. Yeah. It was for me too. You know, because you know, like, exactly. Like, we did everything together with my ex.

So you used to having a partner. And now this was my project. And I wanted to show my kids, my ex, I did it all by my ex. I did it all by myself. I figured it out. And I'm showing a living proof example to anybody that you can do whatever you put your mind into us. It wasn't easy. It took me two years.

It took a lot of figuring out. It took a lot of sidemates, roadmaps, sleepless nights, crying it out. But I did it. You did. Yeah. And you should be so proud. Wow. I mean, it only makes sense.

So you wrote a book and now you help other women. And I don't think that women, I don't even think that I realize how. how important it is to have somebody, some kind of support there and somebody that you can go to because you don't know. You really don't know what to do after. You don't know about the lights or how to do that, how to start that, how to call the utilities, and then just doing this.

Sometimes you just want to have somebody who you can talk to without knowing you're going to be judged or, you know, like maybe you shouldn't be saying things because it's not, listen, I love girlfriends. You know, it's like free therapist in a sense. But you still realize, like, there's a lot of times you don't want to say things to that. You just want to go and talk to somebody who you just let it all out. And then they also can give you an advice that's real advice.

That's somebody that knows what they're going through. So how do people locate you? If somebody wanted to use you as their coach, how would they locate you? Well, I have a website, canislova.com, so they can directly. message me. But eventually, my goal is I would love to have a show where a woman can come and I can interview, you know, and they can hear something. Because honestly, besides, we can do, if you don't have time or money to hire somebody, we are so self-sufficient as women. We can help ourselves. And that's why this book, once you read it, there are so many things you can implement or you can do that, you know,

A lot of times, like, you don't even need anybody. Yes, I love that. You can figure it all out. I love that. What would be for the women out there, because there's women out there that are going to watch this, and they're in a horrible situation. They're scared. They're whatever the case may be.

But they're staying in this marriage because they feel like they have to. What would be your best piece of advice? Well, I would never say go get divorced. That's not me. It has to be their own decision. But the one thing I have to say, if you decided to, go with the divorce, you know, you just the knowledge of what it is, how to prepare for it. The biggest thing that we all have is the fear of unknown. So once you know what it is to go

through divorce, what it is that you need to prepare for the divorce, for the after, the more you know, the more, the less fear you have. And that's the most important, the more control you have over your life. So that's the beginning of it. And then you just start shifting your mindset that, you know, and let it go and realize and like, you know what, you know, it would be a very uncomfortable period of time. But it's okay. You know, some divorces are better. Some divorces are worse. Don't take anything personal because divorce is like a mini war. You see things out of pain and your other partner says things out of pain too. Yeah. And you have to remember you divorced, you got married to one person, you're going to divorce two people because

it's you and your attorney. And a lot of times, the decisions that your partner makes is affected by the attorney that's counseling him. Right. So you have to take all that into consideration. Yeah, I love that. That's such great advice. I mean, what you're saying, there was tons of useful information that, you know, that's not often talked about. This is like a very taboo subject, especially amongst society. Even today's divorce is still kind of frowned upon. But you gave such insightful. I loved everything that you had to say, you know, you do have to realize that there is life beyond divorce. There is. And I think a lot of people, women and men, don't realize, but you can come out better on the other end. You learn a lot of lessons. You learn who you are. You learn a lot

of what life has to bring. You have, you just learn so much in the process of it. And divorce is scary. You're right. I would never recommend it. Like, that's your last resort. Like, I want people to be clear. We're not saying, go to get a divorce immediately. That's not the message. that's like the last resort. But just to know that divorce is, you know, it happens, but you do come out, you can be better for it. And you take what you've learned and you take the memories. There's still memories.

There's still your memories. And you move forward. And that's what it comes down to. So I cannot thank you enough. This is such an insightful conversation. Everything that you said is so true. I definitely 100% believe in it. I've lived it also.

So thank you so much for joining me today. I had such a great talk with you. And I cannot wait to see what else. else you're doing. And if anybody wants to follow you, where would they follow you? On Instagram? Instagram. Yeah. And what's your next big project that you have going on? Well, I'm writing my next book. Ooh. Is this about action? Well, it's actually going to be about relationship because I've been married for so long. So I know. And it would be more about how to stay married, how to get married, how to make the guy to propose to you. And I will have male

experts, men telling what women do right or wrong besides of what I think I know. Oh, I love it. I love it. I love it. I cannot wait to see it. I'm going to have to read it. Now I'm going to have to read it. Thank you so much for joining me today.

Thank you so much. It's so much.