BILFPOD - The Trauma That Built a Multi-Millionaire | Tiffany Carter

Episode Date: May 28, 2026

🔥 Special Offer: Get 72% off all Sintra AI plans at https://sintra.ai/bilf or use code BILF — backed by a 14-day money-back guarantee. What happens when the life you were given becomes the very thing you have to escape? In this episode of the BILFPOD, host sits down with for one of the rawest conversations yet. Tiffany opens up about surviving childhood abuse, leaving the news industry, rebuilding her life from scratch, cleaning up dog waste while in recovery, discovering sales, building a multi-million dollar business, and creating one of the top podcasts in the world. This episode dives deep into: 00:00 — Intro 02:30 — Meeting Tiffany Carter 04:00 — Tiffany reveals her traumatic childhood 07:40 — The moment everything changed 10:30 — Starting over from scratch in Los Angeles 14:00 — Turning pain into purpose 16:15 — How sales changed her life 19:20 — Why EVERY entrepreneur needs sales skills 21:00 — Leaving corporate & starting a business 24:00 — Starting a podcast with zero audience 26:50 — The reality of building a successful podcast 28:10 — Fake gurus & “fantasy marketing” 31:10 — Why authenticity wins long term 32:15 — Tiffany’s coaching business explained 35:00 — Sales energy, confidence & desperation 37:50 — Women in sales & entrepreneurship 45:10 — Manifestation, mindset & future plans 46:20 — Tiffany talks about her upcoming book 47:20 — Final advice & closing thoughts If you’ve ever felt stuck, underestimated, or afraid to start over… this conversation is for you. 🎙️ Subscribe for more unfiltered conversations on business, mindset, success, and personal growth. 💬 Comment your biggest takeaway from the episode. 📌 Follow the BILFPOD for weekly conversations with entrepreneurs, creators, and industry leaders.

This woman runs a top five podcast in the entire world. She went from making $17,000 a year to becoming a multi-millionaire. I was terrified of the thought of having a lot of money because my story is different in the sense of I wasn't raised poor. If I had just played victim my whole life, they would have been like, oh my God, look at your story. I understand. But I didn't want to be that. and who was going to pay for me. My motivator was, I'm not going to be controlled or trapped by any person, place, thing, job institution ever again.

And that was the motivator for me to not, like, sit in the victim side of things. You can't have a business and not know how to sell. Period. I don't care if you're a practitioner. I don't care if you're an influencer. I don't care if you're affiliate marketer. I don't care if you do Reiki. you have to know how to sell.

Before we jump into today's episode, let me say something that changed the way I work. Burnout usually isn't from working hard. It's from trying to do everything manually. This episode is sponsored by cintra.a.i. And what I love about Cintra is every AI helper has a different role, almost like building your own digital team. For content, I've been using Soshi.

This helps generate hooks, captions, ideas, and content strategy without spending hours overthinking every single, post. Then there's pen for writing support, scouting for research, and Cassie helping with customer communication and follow-up. So instead of getting stuck in repetitive tasks all day, you can stay focused on growth, creativity, and execution. And honestly, that's what smart scaling looks like, not working 24-7, not doing everything alone. But learning how to leverage tools that help you move faster without sacrificing quality. Because the people winning right now, They're not just working harder.

They're working smarter. So if you want to streamline your workflow and operate at a higher level, go to cintra.a.ai, backslash BILF, and use code BILF for 72% off all plans. They also offer a 14-day money-back guarantee, so there's no risk at all to testing it. Again, that's cintra.com.A.I. backslash bilf with code BILF. Now let's get into today's episode. Welcome back to the BILF pod. where authenticity trumps authority.

Well, I am super excited about today's guest. I mean, her story is absolutely incredible. And I know that all of you are going to take away so many important nuggets. This woman runs a top five podcast in the entire world. She went from making $17,000 a year. Yeah, not a month, not a week, a year to becoming a multi-millionaire. So this just goes to show you ladies out there. that if you're watching this, she is incredible for sure. But I can assure you that she is just

like all of us. You know, we're faking it till we making it over here with our weave in our hair. Whatever comes in our head comes flowing out of our mouth. But welcome to the show, Ms. Tiffany Carter. Welcome. That's quite an intro. And it's so, and really, well, I like the faking it until you make it because, like, that's what it was all about. That's the same thing for me. I cannot wait to dig in there and go, we're going to go rogue with this and see where it goes. But I know that you have an incredible backstory. So let's just kind of start there to intro you and a little bit about your backstory and where you started from. I always like saying ahead of time, my story is insane. It's like a lifetime movie. So just like trigger warning ahead of time for people,

okay. But I know you're used to listening to this show, which you guys talk about all the things. so I know I'm in good hands. I was raised by a single mom who is a narcissist, and my mom pimped me out from the ages of 11 to 21 years old to wealthy men, which I'm sure some of this rings a bell with the latest affairs of current events that's all coming to surface. And I was just a tool for her. and she was an entrepreneur. So the last thing I wanted to be was to have a business. And truly, I was terrified of the thought of having a lot of money because my story is different in the sense of I wasn't raised poor. I was actually raised like not like super wealthy, but definitely like I guess you could say like upper class. And you know, with being raised that way and being

exposed to, she had clients that were Fortune 500 clients, okay? So big wig corporate executives, these were the people who were inappropriate with me as a child, right? So what happened is that, obviously, I had no self-worth. And my worth was only based on how I could serve somebody, how I could like service them in every possible way. And I never thought, thought for a second. I mean, I would even say I never want to have a business. Because I attached having a business to it being dangerous. But what I wanted was someone to hear the truth. I wanted someone to hear me and listen to me. So when I was 13, I don't know, you guys might remember the show. Like, it's still on Inside Edition with Debra Norville. And she came and spoke at my middle school.

And she arrived in like a stretch limo. And she was a volleyball. And I'm like, and everyone like just was quiet and hung on every word she said and was so respectful. And I'm like, that's what I want to be. I want to be a newscaster. And so that's what I did. I had all focus on becoming a newscaster. I was hired by NBC before I even like formally graduated college. And a lot of people are like, oh, that's so glamorous and all this.

I made no money. You don't make money doing that. You know, it was it was about me wanting to have a platform where I thought it was all about truth and facts. And of course, as we all know now, that's not how the news business works. But I didn't know any better. And while I was on air and I think you'll like appreciate the insanity of this, I was still being abused. The abuse didn't stop until I was 21. Wow. So the main abuser flew out. I was stationed in Washington. Flew out. And that was the last time that I was abused. But flew out. And thankfully, my news director, who of course I ended up sleeping with, thank you,

because I was taught all this, right? When someone is helpful and respectful, I was overly sexualized. I thought that's like what you do for somebody. And he's a wonderful person. He has a wonderful person. He help save my life. And he saw this dynamic of this main perpetrator who I was taught to call my brother, even though I'm an only child. And he was like, this is not okay. And it snapped me awake. It was like, oh, it's not. Like it was so normal to me. And that's when I started really thawing out from everything that had happened to me. Wow. You, I mean, you took my question. I was going to say, when was that moment that you were finally like, this is not right, and this was the turning point. So now you're at this turn. It's a pivotal moment. I can only imagine it's like I can, I'm like equating it to like you like,

oh, you have an awakening at this moment that, oh my God, you know, everything that I was taught by somebody that was my mother, you know, and my brother, this is not the way that it's supposed to be. So now you're a news, now you're a newscaster. What happens from there? I was thawing out, which, as one can imagine, I didn't have denial as a protection. You know, I didn't have like that fake mask where I could pretend it didn't happen. All the memories, all the flashbacks, everything started flooding in. And I was being seen because of all the eyeballs literally watching me. And I felt like I had my skin off. I was so, vulnerable. I didn't have that like false confidence, like the whole fake it till you make it. That's

what I developed. I mimicked people. I remember intentionally, consciously, like as a kid, you know, watching like what the confident people looked like. They sat up straight. They raised their hand first in class. Like they spoke up. They had a certain tone in their voice. But it was all fake. I just didn't know it was fake. Yeah. Right. And it worked for me until. a certain point. And, well, I couldn't fake this. And I was going to have a meltdown on the air. And I, I mean, no one typically quits like a TV job, right? Like, especially if you don't have something else lined up. And I was spiraling fast. And I knew if I did not quit, it was not going to be cute. Wow. I mean, what an incredible story. But I just love how authentic you are about it and how real you are.

and we were talking, and we'll get more into it. But you took that trauma and you were saying before we even got on air, how you could have easily, I mean, you could have easily been like, woe is me, I'm done, I'm throwing in the towel. But that's not really what happened, huh? You didn't throw in the towel. You went through struggle just like everybody does. And you use that and used it as your superpower to turn your life around

and become a multimillionaire. I mean, if that's not an incredible story, I don't know what is. But now, okay, so now you've already spiral. Everything's starting to like, you know, the fogginess is starting to get clarity. Then what happens? Where do you go for there for work? And I'm like, now what? Because I had one focus. It was to be a journalist. And I'd know, it's not like I got a backup plan. And I was a disaster. And I ended up coming back to Los Angeles because I had a lot of friends from college who were there. I wasn't going to go back to Chicago, which is where I'm from because I didn't want to be anywhere near my mom, perpetrators, the memories of it. Yeah. So I went back to L.A. and those who are familiar with L.A., I ended up on Ventura Boulevard cleaning up dog piss and shit from being on air because that's the only job I could do for a while while I was in intensive outpatient care.

Wow. Wow. It was like, and it's not like I enjoyed the job, but like I really couldn't, I couldn't have done another job. And I didn't know what I wanted to do because my whole focus was this one thing. And so I did that for, and it's not like I did that for years either. But you're right. People could have easily, and they would have, excused me. If I had just played victim my whole life, they would have been like, oh my God, look at your story. I understand. But I didn't want to be that. Yeah. And who was going to pay for me? I didn't have. There was no backup.

Now, could I have, like, worked a poll and, like, gotten a daddy and maybe, like, on that route? Could have. But why not? You could have. You could have. Why not? Right. And I'm not saying there's necessarily anything wrong with that.

But then I'd be trapped again. Yes, absolutely. My motivator was I'm not going to be controlled or trapped by any person, place, thing, job. institution ever again. And that was the motivator for me to not like sit in the victim side of things. Yeah. I mean, listen, I think you have to start somewhere too, you know, even in those kind of jobs, but the jobs that we think are menial. I think those are the ones that teach us the most about ourselves and who we are and what we're willing to do to get where we need to go. You know, when I started in I do insurance. When I started, that's what I call my real job. I fell so many times.

The amount of ego hits I took, the amount of times I cried, the amount of times I'm like, I'm worth more, what am I doing? You know, but all of that kind of, I think I boxed it and used it in order to move me ahead to where I wanted to go. And looking back, like, I needed all of that. I needed those, you know, moments of, of humbleness to really put into perspective what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go. And I'm assuming that was kind of the same thing. Yeah, I'm sure you didn't want to clean up piss and shit. But I feel like you kind of need to go through it in order to get, you know, because there's this pivotal moment in everyone's life. So when was that pivotal moment that you're like, I'm not cleaning up piss and shit anymore. I'm going to be, I'm going to turn it around and I am, because that's what happens, I am going to do whatever it needs.

I need to do to get there. So you manifest it. When was that pivotal moment for you? Exactly. Exactly. I think what happened when I was in the outpatient, if I'm, you know, remembering it correctly, but I'm going to remember it how I remember it. You know, there were, there were people in there that, whof, you think my story's rough. I mean, stuff that I didn't know existed. And I was like, you know what, there's a lot of people out there that have gone through a lot of shit. And most people don't have it in them. And I'm not blaming them to be able to talk about it publicly or to be able to open up conversations about this stuff that no one wants to talk about.

And I knew I had a gift for doing that. You know, I was trained to do it, but I had a gift from being, you know, a journalist. And I had that like, almost like a teenage. like, fuck you. Like that's, I mean, I was voted, I was voted most likely to be seen on cops in high school. Okay. So that's like that I have that grit side of my personality, which I see in you because like like like attracts like.

Yeah. And I was like, you know what? These motherfuckers? No. I'm going to expose this stuff and I'm going to show people like, hey, like you can still like make it. This doesn't need to be your identity. It's something that's happened.

it's messed up, but we can, like, we can use this and rise. And I think that's what did it, because I watched what most people do and they became just like a shell of themselves. And I didn't want to be that. No. And I mean, I absolutely resonate with everything that you're saying because the more people doubted and the more people said I couldn't or I can't exact. That's it. I love, I actually love it. I embrace it. I love the haters. I love it. And I love, you know, know, all of the negativity because all that does is ignite my fire to where I am, like, fuck you, I'm going to do it no matter what. So now. Yeah, I mean, how many people when you say you have a podcast, I bet to this day, are like, that's nice. I mean, I, yeah, I mean, I think they're like, can you do

something better with your time? You know, but when your purpose is greater than who you are, I don't really. And at this point in my life, I feel like I always say I'm seasoned. I don't really give a shit what other people think, to be honest with you. If I cared what other people thought, I'd never be where I'm at today. And sometimes you have to just kind of ignore the naysayers because it just really doesn't fucking matter, honestly. So now, and then you get into sales, right? You got into sales. And I love like, yeah, I got into pharmaceutical sales. Who doesn't love pharmaceutical sales? I mean, listen, but I got to tell you, make sense why I got into it. because I was a glorified prostitute.

At that time, in pharma sales, they hire, I mean, they still hire attractive people. But like, there was different, it was very loosey-goosey. Like, I had Vegas as a territory. I'm blowing on dice, baby. I am going to the spirament rhino. I mean, that's how this shes was. Yeah. And so that felt familiar to me to be in that environment.

where, I mean, when people talk about, oh, I've got to go to HR and oh, my God, this happened. I'm like, um, HR. I am HR. First of all, exactly. First of all, never go to HR. Um, me, like that was, I mean, yeah, exactly. And the whole thing was inappropriate, but I, I didn't notice things like that back then because it was just so familiar to me.

But like you said with insurance, like I got told no, you've got high pressure to make your number. You don't make your number. You're out. You know, and that kind of pressure and showing up when you don't feel like it. You got to make sales calls, whether you feel like it or not, whether you're PMSing or not, whether and then you're sick. Amen. Amen. Right. And it's like, so that's what that taught me. It taught me how to show up even at my worst and to show up consistently whether I, I felt like it or not. And you get the reward for that in sales. You absolutely do. And I liked that. Yeah. I mean, that's exactly what happened. Same exact trajectory.

I got into sales and I realized that people liked me. But if you want like the school of hard knocks for anybody, go to sales. Because sales will teach you everything that you need to know. It'll teach you about people. It'll teach you about ethnicity. It'll teach you about how people think, how people move. you can tell body language. I mean, I would suggest if anybody really wants a real education about life, go into sales.

And you're right, the risk is there, but the reward is so much better. And if you're competitive and you know, your goal oriented, the sales aspect. And I know you talk about this as well. You don't have to be sleazy to sell. You don't have to be. At first, I mean, listen, I was faking until I was making it at first. You know, I was doing whatever I could, had big boobs. You know, I played it up.

But then finally, you really really. that, you know, people, first of all, it's sales. So you'll count the nose. You will get a yes. You know, it's a numbers game. But beyond that, you can be a legitimate salesperson with, and be genuine and do very, very well in sales. It does work. That's when it all changed, truly, is when I wasn't like acting like what I thought a salesperson was supposed to act like. And I took a different approach to it. And I agree with you. That's why I teach sales to people now. you can't have a business and not know how to sell. Yes.

Like, period. I don't care if you're a practitioner. I don't care if you're an influencer. I don't care if you're affiliate marketer. I don't care if you do Reiki. You have to know how to sell. Yeah. And that doesn't mean you have, that doesn't mean manipulation.

But I understand why a lot of people think that that's what it means. What it means is you psychologically study people and understand them, well, who's better at doing that than a fucking trauma survivor. Yeah. Yes. I mean, it's true. Yeah, it's absolutely true. And in life, you need that skill. You have to have that skill in order to be successful. And it's not manipulation. It's knowing it's reading the room and understanding. And when you're in sales, you know, you're the expert. So, you know, nobody wants to feel like they've gotten sold. Nobody wants to feel like that at all. So when you're talking to people, it becomes more of, it's like a dance. I always say sales is like a dance. You know, if they move left, you're moving. You're moving. left. If they're moving right, they're moving right. So it's a whole art in itself. But sales in itself, you know, you don't have to be, I like cars. So please excuse me, but you don't have to be the car salesperson. You don't have to. You can absolutely do that. And I know that was, that's a big part of of what you do and what you coach. So let's talk about your coaching business a little bit.

So what I, yeah, what I transitioned to, you know, I had, I kept hitting a glass ceiling in pharma. They usually don't want to move people up who are their top sales people because now you're not selling. And I get it now, but I didn't get it then. And I kept getting passed up for promotions. And it didn't matter. I was number one. It didn't matter is making them hundreds of millions of dollars. I'm thankful that happened because it made me so mad and made me so frustrated that it forced me to go, oh, no, I'm going to have to start a business. Remember what I said earlier. I didn't want to be an entrepreneur because that looked icky to me based on my childhood. But thankfully, my best friend from high school, she's self-made real estate, real estate agent.

She's a broker now. Bish cold called. Like, that's how she started. And she's like been top, top, top, top 1% like making more money than the people on these TV shows by far. And she was like, I figured. And I was like, she was the only person that I could go to. And I was like, I'm terrified to do this because it looks so scary. You know, can, you know, do you think I can do this? And when she gave me like, I needed someone to give me the stamp, not approval, but like I didn't have someone who believed in me. Yeah, exactly. And like, that's what you do for people now. That's what I do. And I'll also be honest with someone too. Yeah. I'll be like I'll say it too. Me too. That's right.

That's important to say because not everybody got it. You talked about grit, not everybody. And that's okay. That's absolutely okay. But yeah, the honesty, I agree. Not everyone has it. And I don't believe that it can necessarily be taught. I can teach you sales skills.

I feel like I'm talking to myself. I don't think you can teach it. You can't. It's called chutzpah. You either have it or you're doing. Wait, are you a Jew? I'm obsessed. Okay.

I was like, I talk about my beloved Jew. use in my podcast all the time. I was raised with all. I was raised with all of that. And I use that term all the time. That's so funny. You say that. Like, you know, some people say like, oh, you've got to have balls. I don't love that term. But you got to like kind of have that BDE. You do. And listen, I don't, it's, I had, I didn't have like still the most amazing self-worth when I started it. It's not like I felt ready. It's not like I felt super confident. I was terrified. There you go.

But you want to know what? Like, what the hell was I going to do? Nothing. Keep staying and working for someone else and keep getting passed up. Like, that sounds insane to me. I might as well do something else that's insane. Yeah. I agree.

I mean, we spend so much time getting ready to get ready. But, you know, in the real world, you got to have the chutzpah. Those are the people that make it. And I don't know that you can teach that to somebody. And that's absolutely fine. but it's knowing, you know, your place in life. It doesn't mean you won't be successful, but you got to have chutzpah in order to get it, you know, and get it moving in the right direction.

So now you do coaching, but your podcast, how about your podcast? It's in the top all, I mean, you're top in your category, literally top five. So now in conjunction, now did you use, the podcast came after, right, the coaching. No, I did everything backwards. I started the podcast before I even had any track. on social media. So it's not like, like no one, literally no one knew who I was. And I wanted to have a podcast because I could control the narrative and swear all the things I couldn't do as a journalist. I like to do. Right. But I also still had the story, which I know a lot of people

listening have. It makes me laugh. Now I started at like the end of 2018. What did I say to myself? It's so saturated. Look at all these people who have a podcast. It wasn't saturated at all back then, right? In fact, it was so brilliant. And I was like people, I'd so many people tell me people I respected who now want to be on my show. Thank you. That's very satisfying too. Who told me you'll never make money doing that. Oh, that's cute. That sounds like a fun hobby. You know, all sorts of who cares. I still did it. And what I said to myself is, I will give myself a year of like full ass effort. And if after a year, I'll check in with myself and go, is it worth it?

Because obviously it's not free to put out a show. It takes time, energy. It doesn't take a ton of money, but it does take money. Yeah, it takes money to get it going. Yeah. And I was like, and if it doesn't, you know, if there's not traction, I wasn't saying what I see a lot of people saying online, which irritates the hell out of me. Like, I better make $10,000 a month in 30 days.

what? That's putting like a contingency on your dream and on the universe. Like I had a slow burn. I was not hot out of the gate. I had no audience leverage to parlay it into. Agreed. I had no one to shout me out. It's not like I have like a celebrity cousin or something. And it's great. I wish I was a nepo baby, but I'm not. Yeah. And good for people who are. Leverage what you got. What I got is this ability to share how I'm sharing here from my heart and in a way that people know like, she's legit. You know, she's not doing like a shim-sham. That's my gift that I give this world. But that is a result of my trauma and all of the healing I had to do in order to get here. So my show, yes, I got five-figure sponsors. Yes, I was getting sales, right?

because I use my show to promote my own products and services. So, yeah, it was making me money. But, like, my show didn't pop off. 2023, big pop off. Yeah. It takes time. I mean, I started mine a year ago. Yeah, I started mine a year ago.

And like anything else, I like instant gratification. But the reality is, is if you don't, you know, for people that are listening, people started asking me, you know, my show is finally, it's moving. you know, it's moving. They ask me all the time, you know, like, what are you trying to do with it? At first, it started as a hobby. And then I realized like, oh, shit, like I've really liked, like I like people. The connection is really good.

I figured that same thing. I can leverage my podcast. So if in the future I wanted to do something other than insurance, at least, you know, I can brand myself as well as the podcast, have somewhere to go. But, you know, there is a lot that comes with it. It's not like you sit down at a mic and you just start talking. You have to treat it like a business. Yeah.

I think people need to know that too if they're going to podcast. You got to treat it like a business as well. And when I started treating it. Anything. Anything. Like even our bodies. Like you want to snatch it up, honey. You can't do it as like an option. And like I call it toe dip it. You can't toe dip on it. I mean, you have a choice. You can. But to expect that it's going to work. And you're only putting an half ass effort and you want full ass results. It's insane. It's not going to happen. But I also understand where it comes. from because the manipulative salespeople that are out in the world and online will do what I call is fantasy marketing. They'll tell you what you want to hear to get you to buy. And it made me so angry. That's what eventually made me start the podcast and stop waiting to feel ready because I was one of those people, is that I saw so many people who actually weren't entrepreneurs. Yes. Giving business advice and making people feel like, oh yeah, you just post like when you feel like it and make money while you're traveling.

And then people would go and try it and it wouldn't work. And then they would think something was wrong with them. It's like, no, this person manipulated is manipulating to get you to buy the thing. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's so many, you know, it's sad. I don't like saying I'm an influencer because that's not, I am too old to be an influencer. I like thought leader much better. So I see all these thought leaders, you know, people that are out there preaching sales and sales coaching. And meanwhile, if you check their background, they've done nothing where they've built anything like of substance and they're out there calling them, you know, certified sales coaching. And they are literally manipulating and building cult like followings.

And in reality, they've never done what they're telling people to do. Because that's not, whatever they're telling, that's not, they need to be real honest about how it starts. first it starts, you know, you're scared, number one. Number two, you can post as much as you want, but that takes a lot, a lot of time. Then figuring out the algorithms. I mean, there's a lot that goes into it. Then you have to study your KPIs. You know, nobody tells us the background of it, you know, nobody says,

nobody is telling the real truth about what it's like to start something that you want to, that you want leverage with. It's not as easy as just posting three times a day when you're, you know, you're getting on a plane or in your fancy car. It doesn't work like that. That's where I saw was the hole in the market for me. Yeah. Because no one, and I shouldn't say no one, there might have been someone, but no one was like

keeping it real, but also like telling people like, this is what you need to do. Yeah. You might not like what I have to say, but I'm sure this is how you are when people ask you about like succeeding, you know, in the insurance world. It's like, I'm going to tell you what you have to do, what to focus on what not to, but you might not like my answer. and then you're going to go buy from a fantasy marketer because that sounds easier, but now it's not going to work.

Yeah. No, it's so true. I do recruiting calls and, you know, I have like masses of people on these recruiting calls. And it's funny because I've watched other ones where they're telling you're going to make all this money and you're going to do. No, you're not going to make all this money. This is not the truth. You are going to grind. You're going to work 50 to 60 hours.

You're going to work eight to eight every day. But this is what it is. This is hard work. You know, this is a career. It's not a part-time job or a hobby. And you're absolutely right. People don't want to hear the truth. But when it comes down to coaching and being real with the audience, it is important to put it all out there.

And that's where authenticity comes into play. That's why once people come to me, like 91% of people buy for me on repeat, it's like, I wanted to be the breath of fresh air in the industry where it's like, oh, my God, I wish I found you sooner. Wow. like, thank you. I do feel people appreciate at the end of the day once they've been through enough. They appreciate someone serving it to them straight, you know, and you can do it with compassion. I want my mentors and my friends. Don't enable me. Be like, don't be a dick to me. But like, if I'm

sabotaging myself, like, tell me what's up. Yeah, I agree. If you want to say, fuck you to me, say it to my face. Like, say it with your face. I'll at least say it to my email. Just say it. I'm okay with I'm absolutely okay with constructive criticism. And if you have something to say, just keep it real. But the majority of your clients, what type of people would come to you for coaching? There's two categories. A lot of people come to me who also want to leave corporate. They're in the golden handcuffs. They're sick of it. They want out. They've wanted out for a long time. They've had an idea. We're waiting to be ready. But the idea, they've had it for like two, three years. And they finally get to a point of discomfort where it's like, okay, I can't buy into the lie that I'm going to

like figure it out on my own anymore. I'm not following through. I need accountability. I need a direction. So we have those people. And then we have people who already have established businesses, but it's plateaued. They ain't selling. It's not coming. And you know what it is? They've never been taught the skill. It's a skill. It's not their fault. They've never been taught the skill of how to sell in a way that feels good to you and to your ideal client, how to actually properly market your business and post on social media and emails so it converts into money. You can't just post some cutesy thing or even some very interesting educational stuff and people are going to buy. If you just posted a whole bunch of top tier insurance content,

that would not be enough. No, because it's boring. It's boring. And people would just save your stuff and say it's interesting and you'd have content vampires. You have to compel people to take action for themselves. And that's why you're a leader in your industry. That's why I'm a leader. We compel people, not convince them.

Like you said, no one wants to be convinced. Yeah. I like being sold to though. I don't know about you. And someone's good. I'm like, I'm an easy sale. That's the problem. I do like a good sales for.

If I see it, I'm like, all right, I see you over. Okay, all right. I see you. I do. I do like a good sale. I absolutely do. Or like when you're in a restaurant and somebody's like trying to up sale you, I do like it. I do. I'm not going to lie. Okay. I'll get that damn truffle that I don't even like. Yeah, me too. I'm definitely a slut for it. Love it. I love a good salesperson. Doesn't, doesn't matter. But if they if they have like a catchy phrase or like a cute personality or just have the chutzp that you like, like, that you want your salespeople to have. I'm like, all right, I love it. Easy. Done. Yeah, I agree with you on it. And that's the like no trust factor. Like, you need to be likable and you need to, and you're not going to, people aren't going to trust you if they don't have a likeness to you. If they don't feel like you get them. People can sense if you have an agenda. And I'm going to be

straight up. Okay. Last year wasn't cute. Last year, I quantum jumped last year. I, I went. I had an ego death. Okay. Like it was, who I have two businesses and it was, I had to work harder than I've ever worked for making the same amount of money. All right. And there was a lot of people in that spot last year. And I got into a spot and here I teach this stuff that I was like, I need, oh, I need to hit this number. I need the people to buy. I da da da da da. That was a narrative. Well, what do you think that did? Do you think that compelling? people to buy? They smell it right away. They and then you start. And I knew it. And I knew, I knew it. I went, I know what I'm doing. I couldn't get out of it. I could, I was like stuck in it. It was like

that needy, needy. It's like needy energy. Law of detachment. You've got it, even though yes, I get it. Like you need it to pay your people. You need it to pay your bills. You've got to mind fuck yourself. It's so true. People can smell the commission breath a mile away. I tell this to my salespeople, even though they're on the phone. I'm like when you become needy and you and you really want people, they can smell it. They can feel it. You sound cringy that like my kids would say, you sound cringe. Like you know and people can feel it right over the phone. And that's when you start making the mistakes that you generally, you generally wouldn't. So I tell my people bring it back to basics. Like bring it back to where we started. Stop cutting corners. Like stop having

the needy voice on. Just stop. And like let's, you know, let's refocus and retrain and start from from the beginning. But I wouldn't have been able to see it if I didn't have my own mentors and coaches and people I pay because I was in it and as self-aware as I am, I'm not God. Like, I was so in it, I couldn't see it. It's like I, when you're standing in the picture, you can't like see the whole frame. I couldn't see it. And that's, it, it would have been so expensive if I did. I didn't have people in place who, one, keep me accountable because I'm more of a type C entrepreneur. I can get a little lazy straight up. And so I have people like getting me to show up and do things and people who I have to pay, not a friend, because a lot of friends, they love you and they don't

want to hurt your feelings or cause bad blood. It's very rare to have that. I have one friend who will we do it for each other and that's highly unusual. But paying people. who are like, okay, you're coming across thirsty. And you think you're not, but you are. And I was like, this is like my worst nightmare. Yeah, you need an ego check from time to time. I mean, it happened to me too. I was at the peak of my career, peak, and all of a sudden I started to crumble. I mean, I was the number two person in my company to eclipse a billion dollars in team sales, number one, like all of the things that you would ever think. And then all of a sudden, I started to plummet. And I'm like, it's everybody else. It's not me.

So everybody else can't be me. But the reality was is I did not go back to basics. And I forgot why I was there. And it's to help and serve. And when you forget what you're supposed to be doing, that's when everything starts to plummet. And it wasn't until I had the reality check where I was sat down and I saw my actual numbers.

Because what I thought I was doing as opposed to what I was really doing or not congruent. They were completely out of whack. So it is important. I do have a question for you. Why do you think in sales? Why are there, at least in my industry, why are women, women that do well, we do very, very well. But how come there aren't more women in sales? Why do you think?

I think that it is the programming and conditioning that a lot of us have had from society, from the educational system. I mean, hello, like women couldn't vote before what? like 1950 or something. You know, it's like there's, right? Like, and when I started my first business, no one would give me a loan. Like I was, because I, my first business started doing, um, digital marketing and specifically Facebook ads when they first came out. Like I was a whack a quackadoo. I had to use a credit card. No one, and I had great credit. No one would give me a loan. And I had a luxury townhouse. I collateral. And I still couldn't get a loan, right? I think it's because, a lot of us are taught we need to be nice and sweet and not upset anybody and take care of people

and don't ruffle people's feathers and we don't talk about money because that's not like classy and you know don't don't do this don't do that be demure you know like be be a little like you want to be kind of a little if you want to really get like the right man you got to kind of be a little like submissive. Well, fortunately, I was born with a voice that everyone bullies me for. I can't play that part. It's very funny if I try. Like, I can't play the like damsel in distress. I can't do it. But I think that's where that comes from because in order, not that you have to be abrasive or jarring in order to sell. I mean, my father, who's no longer with us, my dad barely spoke. But my dad top-tier import-export salesperson because he found the right audience of working with the Asian

population that loved that he was a man, a few words, loved it. He was their like American go-to person, right? And you don't have to be that way, but you got to ask for the sale. You got to ask, you got to do it. And that's having permission to ask for something that I think a lot of women take it as well, that's like asking for something for myself. Yeah. Yeah. And God forbid we do that. Yeah.

I think it's an absolutely perfect explanation, I think, between society and the way that you're brought up. I mean, in my family, sales was like very, that was off limits. It was very cliche. Nobody became a salesperson. You were either a lawyer or a doctor, nothing in between. So I remember coming home and telling my mom, and I was forced into sales. Like this was never my trajectory.

I was supposed to go to law school. And I remember, and I fell into sales really out of desperation. And my mom was like, you know, she's in New York Jew. She was like, oh, there's time for you to go to law school. What are you going to? You know, she was going on and on. Like, you've never sold anything in your life. Like, what are you doing?

Like, who's a salesperson? That's not even a real job. You know, like, and I remember her telling. And I love my mom. She's my greatest, like, she is the biggest fan. She's my greatest year. Like, she goes to everything. All my sales stuff today.

I love her. But just I remember her. And it's funny because years later, actually, like a few years ago, my mom says to me, I'm so proud of you. You did what I couldn't do and I should have gone into sales. And the only reason why I didn't is because your grandmother told me I needed to go to college and, you know, get into corporate America. Just the way that you're raised. So there is, you know, and I think a lot of women still today are raised like that. You have to go through college.

You have to get married. Have a family. Take care of your family. You know, and a lot of women shy away from it. People, I get mom shamed all the time. I'm on a plane every 8 to 10 days. So, you know, there's so much criticism. And as women, we wear so many hats that you're taking it really from everywhere,

every which way. So it is hard. It's definitely difficult for women in sales. And they fail because that is the way. I mean, you learn how to sell in a way that feels good to you and other people. That's the money ticket, honey. For whatever you have, a podcast, a book, you want to do a TikTok. shop, you want to do insurance, whatever it is. You don't know how to, if you don't know how to sell,

I mean, you've got to sell yourself first, you know, and if you don't know, if you don't learn how to do it, it's the highest income generating skill that there is to learn. And I think a lot of women resistant because they think that it's kind of like a gross thing to do. It's a very like hypermasculine thing to do. And it doesn't have to be done that way. In fact, the best female salespeople don't operate that way at all. So true. Yes. And the thing about sales with women is women like to talk to women and men like to talk to women.

And people don't know that the most amount of millionaires that are created that are created come from sales. So why not, you know, there's enough to go around. Why not get, you know, you're making more money than a lawyer or a doctor. So sales is absolutely, I mean, I give you so much credit for what you're doing. I wish there was more women like you that were teaching people how to properly sell, but also giving other people confidence to make that move to sell and understand the skills that they need. So amazing. Yeah. And I sometimes get frustrated because, you know, if I sold fantasy marketing, I would have, you know,

I would have 10 times a net worth. I can't sleep at night doing that. That doesn't feel good to me, but it's hard for me to watch. And I'm sure it's hard for you too. like when you see people going to, I guess you would say quote unquote like a competitor or whatever. You see people buying from someone because someone's telling them what they want to hear. But you know what? I've done it too just in the health area of my life. You know, like I bought gimmicky workout plans and, you know, supplements looking for some like cheat code on something too. You know, we have to be honest with ourselves of, you know, where are we trying to like cheat the system and think.

thinking we're going to get ahead, you're not. It doesn't. It bites you in the ass. Yeah. I always say, I want to weigh 100 pounds, but I can't eat, you know, like I'd like to, I'd know, I'd like to eat cake and ice cream and weigh 100 pounds, but that ain't the real truth, honey. That's not the way it really works in the real world. But what's next for you? I mean, you have your podcast, which, you know, I hope everybody goes and watch your, let's talk a little bit about your podcast. Top rated. Project me with Tiffany Carter. So this is, it's not just business. and sales stuff. I mean, that would be boring. I am more of a spiritual entrepreneur. I incorporate a lot of manifestation. I've been a practitioner and a student of manifestation for 20 years. So all of that's

incorporated in there and talking about like the stuff that we go through every day that is insane. My brain is, I'm unwell in the mind. Okay. Like you have to be a little cuckoo to do any of them. I'm glad that you admitted it. Because I, I know that I'm cuckoo. I'm definitely cuckoo. I'm not cuckoo. I'm like all over. I know this. But I've come to terms with it. I'm okay with this. I mean, you have to be. It's, you know, and it's very vulnerable. It doesn't matter. I've millions stacked. It's still vulnerable to put yourself out there and do new things. And so I talk about all of that stuff, money mindset and everything in between. I do have a book. Only the first five chapters are done because my mom went to sue me for it.

And if you guys are interested in hearing my story or if you've experienced narcissistic abuse or raised by narcissist, you'll appreciate the nuances that I've included major trigger warning, but you will appreciate that. It'll be very validating. And you'll be able to connect the dots and see how you can be raised by someone, even if it's not a narcissist, but how being a product of the environment you're in, even if you have lovely family and it's done innocently, like generational trauma, how that absolutely seeds in on how you do everything in your life and how you respond. I love that. And if people want to find you, where would they find you? I would say best place is go to Instagram and TikTok at Project Me with Tiffany. I'll pop right up.

If you type in Project Me with Tiffany on any platform or Google me, the show pops up, all the things pop up. I love that. I hope everybody sees today that, you know, your life circumstances or your childhood does not define you. It's a part of your story. And it's part of a bigger story and using it as a fire to ignite your fire. So I hope everybody took something valuable from today's podcast because I know I sure

did. You just reinforced. I mean, Tiffany reinforced everything that I knew was true, including. that I am a kukukukuku. But owning it, I think the best thing is, you know, do yourself a favor is own who you are. That's when you finally know who you are inside and out and you know yourself worth, nobody can tell you anything different. And if you like today's episode, please like, subscribe, unlike, I don't even, just do something, refer a friend, it doesn't matter. And if you like today's episode, there are more to come. Thank you for joining the build

pod. It was amazing. I love this talk. This was one of my favorites ever.