Bittersweet Infamy - #106 - The Party Bus Omnibus

Episode Date: August 25, 2024

Josie celebrates Taylor's birthday with a series of infamous party stories, featuring guests of honour from Kim Kardashian to Kim Jong-il. Plus: step into the ring with the Fighting Cholitas, the professional wrestlers crushing stereotypes of Indigenous women in Bolivia.

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you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Welcome to Bitter Sweet and Food. I'm Taylor Basso. And I'm Josie Mitchell. On this podcast, we share the stories that live on in IN2IN. The strange and the familiar. The tragic and the comic. The bitter.

And the sweet. Josie, you are a pretty prodigious bicyclist. Is that so? I get on that bike and I prodige, it's true. Do you ever get really, really pissed off at someone when you're on your bike and they say, "'What's your problem, lady?' Do you go, "'Sorry, I'm on my cycle.'" No, I don't say that. I really-

I can see why you wouldn't. I can see why you wouldn't. Yeah, thank you, thank you. I do, I do, I tend to be angrier on my bike than in other forms of transportation or other like areas of my life. Aren't you an angry driver? No, I'm a very slow, like, I don't know if patient is the word, but I'm, I don't get

angry. No. I guess I've been in the car with you and you weren't mad. You were fine. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for noticing. I've seen you bike some distance. We've been going out to like a friend's house and the rest of us will take the car and you biked or I know you biked up the West Coast of North America one year.

Was that when I biked to the Sunshine Coast? That's right, that was so fun. I didn't bike back, did I? I don't think so, I I? I don't think so. I know you biked up with Max. Right, oh, that was, oh, that's right. He was such a baby about it, too. That's the thing is I can't do things with you

because you, I think, are probably better at most things than me. I don't think that's true. I think you're probably better than me at riding a bike. That is true because, because Taylor you don't know how I didn't know how friend of the podcast Jonathan Mountain recently taught me how to ride a bike You king, John! Thank you!

Oh my gosh! He did what all the men who have been flirting with me on Tinder for the past 18 years haven't made good on and he finally taught me how to ride a bike. What a good dad. Well, that's the thing is, so I was always a, I was the kind of kid who would, learning things that required multiple concentration points

and physical dexterity at the same time never came easily to me still does it I got pretty frustrated says oh scissors that was a tough one for me so much so that it was written in my report card when I was like one or two I remember I made this is I get what I deserve in this story I think I maybe made my mom read out my report card at Christmas dinner one time because it was so positive. But then when it got to the part about how I didn't know how to use scissors, everyone laughed at me. I felt embarrassed.

You're like, mom, you were supposed to read that. Fuck off, bro! Yeah. Anyway, point being, cycling was one of these things, but my buddy Grigio recently was having his birthday. Grigio is from the crew of basically people that I grew up down the cul de sac from, and that includes John Mountain.

And so I was like, okay, I'll just go and do and like, I'll learn how to ride a bike and how bad could it be? And John stayed behind to teach me how to ride a bike because the logic was I'm going to have to teach Maddie how to ride a bike soon anyway, so this will be good practice. So he got to practice teaching someone how to ride a bike soon anyway, so this will be good practice. So he got to practice. Yeah, that makes sense. Teaching someone how to ride a bike, and I was very like, if I didn't understand what something meant,

I'd be like, yo, I can get the pedal that I'm pushing down, but then the other one gets stuck in the back. He's like, no, you just need to cycle. Oh, like a circle, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was tough at first, but once I got onto a bike that was the right size for me, and once I took off my backpack, just doing laps around that parking lot.

The right size does make a big difference. And that's hard when you're learning because you haven't, like, I don't know, it's hard to tell. I needed to put my feet on the ground. Yeah, yeah. And, but then if it's too small, then it feels really uncomfortable

because you can't, it's hard to make that full circle and like, vicious cycle. But I rode a bike for like an hour, it's hard to make that full circle and like vicious cycle. But I rode a bike for like an hour. I learned how to ride a bike. I still, I can turn left, I can turn right, I can break. I can do a tight left and a wide left. I don't think I ever got wide right down, but I got tight right.

That's okay. Yeah, tight, tight's harder. Tight's fine, tight's good. That's tight tight. There you go. Keep it right, keep it tight. So there you go. Taylor, I'm so proud of you and John Mountain, thank you. The three of us can bike down to San Diego together

sometime perhaps and Maddie can come too. Perfect, and we'll hook a trailer on the back for Maddie, it'll be great. I was kind of envisioning her doing the bulk of the pedaling if we're being honest. That's fair, yeah, yeah. But by then she'll be like three or four. So she'll have her legs under her by then. Yeah She had bike tattoos we should get bike tattoos this time. I just learned how to ride one. I'd be such a poser I don't know or you can get the bike with the training wheels and then you can get the training wheels laser removed

There you go, yeah! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahah craziest place you ever rode your bike? I would ride my bike to school, to the university, and I was teaching at the time, and I forgot my lock. I totally forgot my u-lock, and so I was like, well, I can't just leave my bike outside unlocked. Someone's going to take it. So I had to, I was like, I'll just bring it into the class and put it at the back of the class. But I also was running really late, so I just rode my bike into the class. Okay, you were such a cool teacher then. Yeah, that was a real cool teacher move. It was this class that they didn't take me seriously anyway, so I was like, why try? That's the spirit.

They've got a, what's it called? They've got a death road down in Bolivia, you know? Oh, do they now? It's a very well known, very infamous, some might say, cycling road, where it's exactly what you would imagine. It's tall and there ain't no fences. It's lots of turns and it's paved in chewing gum and you know the works.

Right, alligators, piranhas. Yeah, alligators, fireballs. You have to beat Bowser at the end, all of it. All of it, yeah. Huh, wow. It's intense. So since we're talking about Bolivia, if you feel yourself getting lightheaded

as we join today's Minfamous, that's no coincidence. We're 13,000 feet above sea level in the city of El Alto, Bolivia. Overlooking La Paz. Too many feet, well, El Alto means like the high one, right? Yeah, it's truly overlooking La Paz. Like you can kind of see down onto this incredibly in its own right, very high city.

You can look down into it if you want. I already have like a altitude headache going on. Yeah, El Alto is a city of one million people, most with some heritage from the area's indigenous groups, the Aymara and the Quechua. And indeed, one of the area's enduring icons is the Cholita, the Aymara or Quechua woman in a vibrantly colored bollera dress, which is like a big flop big

Floppy dress, okay with petticoats underneath. So like they have like a little skirt with You know a petticoat. I mean, it's big Conical large and in charge a colorful blouse a manta or shawl big chonky earrings You you want to imagine like a big chunky dangly guy. Are you talking about perchance? Something like that. Like this big chunky dangly thing that I got on here? Two, two of them?

You may have some Horyesco in, yes. Okay, okay. And plaited hair and pigtails. Cute. And perhaps most iconically, a bowler hat on top. Okay, yes, okay, I've seen this look. This is a good look. The outfit is a mix of Spanish attire

foisted upon the indigenous by colonial powers, the vibrancy and brightness of the fabric and styles carried over by the Quechua and the Aymara, and a bowler hat that nobody quite knows where it came from. Carrie Bradshaw, is that you? Like... Well, there's all these stories that I heard about, like someone came with an excess of these hats

and thought that they would be very popular among among the men but they weren't but they were popular among the women like there's all these sort of apocryphal stories of how the bowler came to be. A truck turned over and all of the bowler hats came bowling out. Yeah as I was looking at it too I was like Taylor you can't call it a bowler hat that's got to have like a particular like relevant cultural name and I looked into it really is a bowler hat. Okay yeah it's a westernized like item. Yeah it's a bowler hat. Yes fit into that style that's cool. The word itself Cholita is a holdover from a time where the Cholita and her attire were heavily oppressed and stigmatized seen as second-class citizens. You couldn't wear traditional dress on an airplane, for example, or while working at

a bank or carrying out a lot of jobs. Fuck that. Fuck that. The appellation Cholita was originally meant as a pejorative, though it's since been reclaimed and is largely seen now as a neutral or even positive term. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

And since we're in El Alto and one should always take the time to meet the locals while abroad, let me introduce you to Reyna. Hey, hi. Hi, hola. Como estas? Reyna is a proud Cholita. Tonight, she happens to be wearing

a beautiful golden pollera that you can feel free to imagine swishing around her ankles as she walks briskly towards her destination. Okay. Tonight, she's walking with a purpose. She has a meeting with her friend Juana, and by meeting I mean more of a confrontation. Oh, shit. See, Juana and Reyna typically are the best of friends. They've known each other for years.

They have a lot of shared interests, but lately they've been coming into conflict with one another. A lot. In fact, word has gotten around and a small crowd has gathered to watch Reina and Juana confront each other yet again. Okay, so this is the fight at the flagpole after school. This is the fight at the flagpole. Fight, fight, fight. The two come face to face. Wana is in a white blouse with a blue poyera skirt, so you can imagine that glimmering and catching the light as you wish. Wana reaches into her poyera and pulls out a pair of nunchucks.

She's quite adept, so she's flinging these bad boys around. She screams at the gathered crowd that there are no rules, anything goes. Fuck. And so it is. Reyna is flying through the air her golden skirts and all its petticoats catching the air as she crashes on top of her foe. Wana's nose starts to bleed they fight over a wooden crate tugging it back and forth each hoping to smash it on the other. Reyna beats Wana with a two liter of orange Fanta which sprays everywhere as the lid flies off. A baby in the crowd starts crying at the barbarity

as Juana drives Reyna face first through a flaming table. The two women crash through together. Juana struggles to her feet and throws a piece of the flaming table at her foe, who narrowly dodges, but it's not enough. Reyna rolls her Stunfo back into the ring and pins her. One, two, three. The referee holds up Wana's hand aloft in victory as she screams at the crowd that now she is the Cholita de Oro, the Golden Cholita.

And if you want to see what happens next, well, you'll have to come back to the Multi-Purpose Center. The Cholitas fight every Sunday. Josie, let's get in the ring with the fighting Cholitas, the professional wrestlers who have revolutionized not only the landscape of Bolivian lucha libre, but have completely redefined the international perception of the indigenous women in Bolivia. Tight, oh my gosh. And are they wearing bowlers the whole time?

They take off the bowlers, but they keep the skirts on like the entire time You have to imagine these like big Voluminous skirts like arcing through the air and swirling and swishing as they make their moves and the visual of this is one of most Distinctive things about Cholita wrestling is that they're coming in these like very full petticoat skirts But they're doing all the same moves that you would expect from a wrestling show. They're flying off the top rope They're they're crashing each other through tables They'll do like a leg scissors and flip the guy across the ring and it's not always another woman. Sometimes it's a man, too It sounds like ballet flotlorico with the big dresses that you have like yes

And the dresses are like part of the dance too almost the dresses are very much part of the dance And it's cool because it's kind of like bound up in indigenous tradition and imagery. For example, I saw those ladies I was telling you about, Reyna and Juana, before their match. They made a little effigy for Pachamama to the kind of Mother Earth figure of the local spirituality. And they made a little effigy and poured alcohol at various key points around the ring and like did like a real piece of ceremony to make sure that all the performers would be carried through safely and stuff like that. So it really is wrestling a scene through like an Aymara lens. It's primarily the performers I think that I heard about were Aymara, but there's also catch-up performers to it, etc. Yeah, that's so cool.

Before we go any further, we should say, in case you're new here, we've covered professional wrestling a few times on the show, but the main thing to know is that this is performance art where the matches have pre-scripted outcomes. However, it's very high impact, incredibly physically taxing.

Some of the people, I think it was a lady named Marta La Altenia who I'll tell you a little bit about, she was saying like, my knees are sawdust, my elbows are sawdust, everything hurts, but I do it all again, right? Yeah. I remember too, in kind of, I think researching for Cassandro, there was a way that it was put

about like the fakeness, quote unquote, fakeness of wrestling is like, when you go go to the ballet you know how the ballet will end like what you're watching is the the feet of human physicality that happens on stage and it's the same with with wrestling you know but yeah absolutely there's it's very high high it's very high impact coordinate coordinated. El alto impacto. El alto impacto, it's truly very high impact, coordinated stunt work slash performance slash dance slash ornate crowd work. Yeah. Sometimes someone beats you with a two liter of Fanta

and it gets in your hair. Like it's all things to all people, truly. It really burns your eyes, really, all that shook. Well, they did just go uh face first through a flaming table afterwards so. Yeah yeah that that table came out of nowhere yeah okay. No dude that's that's after the match Reina was saying that she wanted to make one into Chicharrones. Brutal. That is brutal. And these are these are real that was a real match I recapped for you. Nice thank you dope. Dope. No worries, gave you the colour commentary.

So where do the Cholitas come from? It might be important to start with. We've talked a little bit in the past about lucha libre, the Mexican spectacle of professional wrestling that has its own unique style, its own unique customs, its own unique characters in history and ways that it is performed. That sort of trickles down to Bolivia as far as I understand, or at the very least, Bolivian lucha libre for about 50 years

is very heavily influenced by Mexican lucha libre, the styles of, the stars of, et cetera. And the thing that seems to really give it its own particular character, and at least the mind of the international wrestling fan is the presence of these wrestling Jolitas who kind of are unlike something that you would find anywhere else.

Yeah. And they come about right around the turn of the millennium. So about 2003. Oh shit. Yeah, they're a relatively new addition. And part of that is because of the- Sexism. I guess, guess yes and racism and and discrimination against poverty and discrimination against people from rural environments

all these things right colonialism the the suite the usual the full service suite yes to it in 2003 the Bolivian gas wars raging I won't go too very much into this, but in brief, brief, super brief, the civil conflict is a result of the exploitation of Bolivia's natural gas resources by colonial powers, and not for the first time. Right, okay, yeah. As a result of this conflict, 60 people die and eventually socialist Evo Morales and Aymara Man is elected as the country's first indigenous president. Nice.

Another result is that while the Lucha shows are still underway as this war rages on because nothing will stop the wrestling, truly, truly, truly, truly. You gotta be entertained, baby. Especially if there's a gas war going on. You gotta get your mind off of that. Exactly, exactly.

You duck through those fire bombs and you go see someone lay in some elbows because God, the world is a scary place. While they're still underway, crowds are small. And so one promoter, whom I take to be Juan Mamani of Titans of the Ring, he's the president and that's the company where it started. He gets the idea to introduce Wrestling Cholitas

as a pre-show attraction for the rest of the program, which takes place in the conventional style. Heavily male, heavily macho, heavily influenced by Mexican lucha libre from the north, although we've noted that there are kind of some kind of effeminate trickster characters, the exoticos, who still move within that space. Layers. There's always layers. Yeah, oh, always.

One Cholita who's from the early waves of Cholitas recalls how the women in the audience would cover their eyes as the women in the ring were lifted, scandalized by the sight of their legs under their many petticoats. Ankle. So like, I can see, I can see ankle. Yeah. Yeah, ankle. Why was the wrestling Cholita such a radical proposition? The answer, as it so often does, as we already discussed,

comes down to a mix of racism, misogyny, and classism. What a trio. The trio, the holy trinity, the unholy trinity. In terms of racism, that's been baked in there since colonialism. Indigenous people only got the vote in 1952, tellingly a country that 75% indigenous got its first indigenous president, Evo, in 2006.

In terms of sexism, seven of 10 Bolivian women have experienced violence of some kind. A report from July 2019 said that a Bolivian woman was effectively being killed every two days with half of these being indigenous women. 53% have experienced physical or sexual violence from a partner, one of the highest instances in the world.

And then in terms of classism, Cholitas have always fought the perception that their poor migrants transplants the city from rural areas, which all of course has its own racism and sexism baked into it. Yeah, yeah. And it's perhaps the feeling of wanting to reclaim power in the face of social powerlessness

that explains why professional wrestling is such an attractive proposition to so many indigenous women in Bolivia. Popular Técnica, Marta La Altenia, government name, Yeni Mamani Herrera, that's the lady that I was telling you about. Okay. Says, Marta, I think that wrestling Cholitas are so well liked because we are showing a different side of indigenous Bolivian women. Generally, Cholitas are very shy, so to see us being so outgoing is a big surprise to many people. Usually silent, in the background, husbands kind of doing the... You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, and I'm sure to like any layer of sexism, there's a sense of like always

having a baby in their arms and are always cooking, always caring for other people and that kind of thing. And all of a sudden they're like actively aggressive and fighting other women. Like that's so antithetical to the sexist view. Sure. And if you think about like, this is a population that has up until now lived in so much silence that like you couldn't be at your Lita and work at a bank.

Yeah. And like to even kind of be yourself in your garments was like a way that you were taking up space that lots of people would just kind of disagree with you for just existing there. Now, not only are they taking up space, but they're like being loud and beating up men and beating up each other and going through flaming tables, right? Right, yeah, yeah. Battling each other with two liters of orange Fanta. A Fanta, yeah.

Beautiful. In addition to her family, it was Yanny's experience with an abusive husband that pushed her toward lucha libre. Quote, sometimes it's a painful experience to remember, but now remembering it makes me stronger. I use lucha libre to vent because for many years I felt small and worthless,

but lucha libre makes me feel big. Nobody stops me. This is my small story, but every Chalita has a story." For luchadora Helen Flores, her story is similarly very personal and reflects a lot of the same sobering information around the role of women in Bolivian society, with a warning for some pretty intense stuff around partner violence and suicidal ideation ahead. "'The father of my children took them from me.

He had been beating me for more than two years. He would hit me, he sent me to the hospital. I had three small children and I was pregnant on top of that. He kicked me out of the house. He took away my cars. So I started from nothing. I slept in ATM booths. Nobody helped me.

Nobody could get my children back. The father of my children sold them back to me for $12,000. What? I was ashamed about my children and the situation that I was in because I didn't have any money either. I wanted to kill myself and my children. I didn't want to exist anymore. Aww.

And while she's working during this time in her life, she meets a luchador, Escorpion Rojo, and truly guardian angels take all forms. You never know when Escorpion Rojo is gonna be the guy, but he was. He talks her and he's like, you know, you should be a luchadora, you should be a luchadora. And she's like, no, the father of my children

used to beat me. I don't know if I could do that. And he's like, no, just try it, just try it. She has her baby in May. By June, she's wrestling whoa quote I started with all that rage and fury that I had for the father of my children in every fight in the ring I acted like it was him every time I got in the ring like she says siempre siempre siempre always always always every time I got in the ring. I imagined it was him

One day two and a half years later My kids father grabbed me in the street. I Told him let me go. He said I'm not gonna let you go in the middle of a big street So I threw him to the ground and I beat him Everything he gave to me I gave back to him. I hit him with all my rage. I started to tremble. I had never trembled before in the ring, only now with him. I said, starting then, no more.

Fighting is for the ring, and only in the ring. Wow. I'm sad for her that she couldn't get the catharsis out of beating the shit out of that man that I got from hearing about her. Yeah, yeah. Wow. I mean, I get what she's saying though, that it's like this doesn't... This doesn't undo. It doesn't undo. Yeah, that damage is done. He's still the father of my children. We will need to have some sort of ongoing, we're like, so I get where she's coming from there,

but like, what a story. I know. Outside the ring, under Evo Morales, the role of women in society and government is elevated and the Cholita, after many years of oppression, starts to become enshrined as a piece of local heritage. Yeah, dog. Inside the ring, the popularity of the Cholitas

begins to eclipse that of their male co-stars. While they used to be the pre-show to cards of exclusively male performers, word of the Cholitas has spread to the point that they've become a tourist attraction, and now crowds flocks to see the shows as they should as the Cholitas bounce off of male and female opponents alike. In the things that I watched, they were talking about breaking off and doing all Cholita shows. For many audience members, seeing the Cholitas beat up the off of male and female opponents alike. In the things that I watched, they were talking about breaking off and doing all Jolita shows. For many audience members,

seeing that Jolita's beat up the men rather than each other is the real draw. Marta La Altenia tells us what we already know. It's always the old ladies in the crowd who get the most into it. And they're very fond of abusing and throwing things at the men that Marta fights. And when she falls, these audience women themselves

in their bolleras and their braids help her up because she represents them. Oh, my heart, my heart! Just imagining that, oh! Isn't it nice? It gives you goosebumps, right? Professional wrestling, folks, I'm telling you. I'm telling you, there's some good stuff in there.

The people's ballet. The people's ballet, thank you. The fighting Cholitas have been looked to as symbolic of the changing roles of women and of indigenous women in Bolivian society. Says Denys Sanginis, organizer of Cholitas Wrestling. There's been a lot of empowerment for Cholitas in La Paz. 30 years ago, these ladies had only two roles in society,

to be housekeepers or ladies selling things on the streets. But with a revolution of culture and a new generation of open-mindedness in Bolivia, now we have Cholita politicians, Cholita journalists, Cholita mountain guides and everything. Tight. Now the Fighting Cholitas travel internationally. Their shows pack in huge audiences of locals

and foreign tourists alike when they have them back home. For 10 bucks US a show you can catch them at the Al Alto Multi-Purpose Center. The Cholitas themselves will come and get you on a bus, pick you up and bring your tourist ass to the venue. No way! I'm so- Yeah, yeah, and to the women in the audience, if you stick around after the show, the performers will teach you some self-defense moves so you're the best fighter you can be. Free of charge. The performers will teach you some self-defense moves so you're the best fighter you can be. Free of charge.

After all, says Polonia Anna Choque Silvestre, AKA Carmen Rosa La Campeona, the champion, who is among that very first wave of Cholita Luchadoras that I told you about back in the early 2000s. She says, Carmen Rosa is a fighter in the ring, but all women are fighters outside the ring. We fight in our daily lives to bring our children forward, to take one push forward. We are always fighting."

And that is the story of the fighting Jolitas of El Alto, Bolivia. Oh my gosh! I love it! Josie Bate! Josie Bate! I thought you might like it. But it's a beautiful mix of like Taylor and Josie Bate. Yeahie Bate, I thought you might like it. But it's a beautiful mix of Taylor and Josie Bate. Yeah, this is our child.

This is where we come together. Yeah, that's true, that's true. This is what our child looks like. Bang, you've had some milestones. Learn how to ride a bike. Tell the Cholita story. It's going to be my birthday. Yeah, doggy. Your birthday.

It's going to be my birthday pretty soon. So soon. It's going to be my birthday pretty soon. What are you doing for your birthday? The self portraits, right? Yeah, I wanted to do self portraits at the beach, but we'll see if the weather cooperates because it's supposed to rain that day.

Oh no. If it does rain, I'm just gonna cancel and do a much smaller version of the same thing at my place with like two or three other people. Yeah, that'll still be fun. How do you generally feel about birthdays? Your birthday? I don't like to have to plan something. Yes. Oh god. I don't. The kindest thing anyone can do for me for a birthday is like plan something and just do it for me. But that's not how the world works a lot of the time, sadly. No, I don't know. I, more and more, I like to use my birthday

as a time to do small things. I like using it as an excuse to see people too that I don't see throughout the year. Yeah, guilt them into coming out. Yeah, kind of. So I would say a mixed bag. And this one's a big one, right? This is 35?

You should check your math. Is it 30? How old am I? Wait, maybe I should check my math. Hold on. I thought you're turning 34? You're 80? No.

You're 89. Wait, am I turning 35? How old am I? This happens to me. This definitely happens to me. So I shouldn't laugh too hard. But this is embarrassing. I'm glad this is being recorded. I'm typing it into like an age calculator.

Okay good. Yeah. Yeah. Cause the months, you can't just do straight up math. Oh my god. I'm turning 35. Yes! Okay. I thought so. Okay. I'm only 34. Great. I thought I was turning 36. This kicks ass. See that's what happens to me. I just got a year I just got a fucking year back. In the last six months before I turn you start rounding up. Well, I'm gonna be 35 and then you think I'm 35 and then you're like well I'm turning 36. Yeah. Oh my god So to answer your question. Yes, I'm turning 35. Okay Congratulations

Thank you! Thank you thank you I'm 35, 35 and Thrivey Thrive. That's it you nailed it yeahaley. Uh huh. What'd you do? It's gonna be a little different. I was referring to this as like a omnibus episode. Okay, I like that. So like little chunks of this, little chunks of that, all riding together. A platter.

A platter, smorgasbord. Yeah, I kept falling on the omnibus but the thing is is all of the episodes are about birthday parties all these little stories hmm that's so fun so it's a little bit of like a birthday party so you did plan me a party and I didn't have to do any of the work. Party bus, omni-bus! A party bus. A party bus episode. You've truly done all the legwork. I didn't even have to come up with that.

You had it ready. Dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, de with a chauffeur's hat. I'm wearing a suit. I look cute as fuck. I've got a plastic sash from the dollar store on. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. It says birthday girl. Okay. And then on the back it says 30, flirty, and thrivey. Is that it? Something like that. Something like that. Yes. Sweet. Cool. And okay, so I've got some little stories here for you and this little surprise in the middle because what's a birthday party celebration without some type of surprise? I'm delighted by this, delighted.

Yeah, you don't have to plan anything. I planned it. Awesome, awesome. I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait, thank you. On the day of your birthday, I actually will be at a three-year-old's birthday party Perfect celebrating the natural phenomena of unicorns. Yep. Very much. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

It's sad that they're extinct. It's it's a shame. It's a big shame. We hunted them to death. There's a real lesson there Yeah, yeah. This is before we figured out how to make synthetic glitter, so we just hunted them to death. I'll let this soon to be three year old know about the destruction that humankind has wrought. Don't tell him what we did tell those Lisa Frank tigers and snow leopards. Oh my gosh. She's too young for that. She's too young for that. That's good. That's good. That's good. Well, for my first story,

is there a birthday celebration that kind of like immediately comes to mind during 2020 lockdown? Like the intensity of we can't hang out with other people. What did I do? What did I do? I must have, I must have attempted in some way to mark the occasion.

Sure. I don't remember Dick about my birthday in 2020. Not a goddamn, how old would I have been turning? You don't even know how old you're turning now. So. I don't know shit. I don't know anything, man. I'm useless.

You continue. Well, this might bring a very distant bell because the year was 2020 and nobody could go fucking anywhere and see anybody and we had horrible zoom party experiences. But if you were a dolphin in Venice, great time, great parties. Great parties, yes. Also a great party during 2020 was Kim Kardashian's 40th birthday. Do you remember hearing about the scandales

of her birthday? I think so. I think so, yeah. I think so, yeah. I will say it was a time where we were not putting up with a lot from our famous people. Oh no. When Gal Gadot dropped that fucking imagine thing

with everybody on it. Yeah, fuck that. Ooh, that went over like a turd and a push-hold, didn't it? So Kim Kardashian in October of 2020 Fuck that. Ooh, that went over like a turn and a push fold, didn't it? Hahaha. So Kim Kardashian in October 2020 was turning 40, and she planned a week away for her closest and dearest to a private island near Tahiti. Yeah. Very lavish, very intense, like already turned up to 11 and then you just like

turn it up 11 more because there was nobody in the world who could get together much less travel and she's doing both. Yeah. I'm always really interested in the reaction of a celebrity when the thing that they've always been unanimously praised for is, not unanimously, people have always had issues with Kim Kardashian, but let's say that there's always been like a market for her type of consumption because she's an influencer. And so for people to all kind of unmask,

be like, not now, that must've been quite the shock. She must've had to visit another private island to get over it. Yeah, maybe. Though she was very clear to explain that because of COVID, she asked and mandated that all of her guests quarantine and they went through all these different health screens before they could get on a private island.

I'm sure they just sat there in their quarantine in a fucking five-star hotel room, eating their fucking strawberries and cream. Where's the guillotine? Come on. She said of the time, before COVID-19, people didn't truly appreciate what a simple luxury it was to be able to travel

and be together with family and friends in a safe environment. Kimmy, Kimmy. But she gets a lot of shit. I try not to, even you heard me do it, even in our cats thing with James Corden, when there's someone who gets a lot of shit, I try not, I'm like,

cause to me that's like, there's no creativity there. Come on, let me find someone obscure to hate. But with Kim Kardashian, I feel like she gets a lot of, it's hard. With her, sometimes yes, sometimes no, in terms of the reaction that she gets and is it warranted, you know? No, that's true, that's true.

And in some ways, yes, and in some ways, no, you know? Exactly. She also put on Instagram, she said, "'I realize that for most people, "'this is something that is so far out of reach right now. "'So in moments like these, I am humbly reminded of how privileged my life is. Hashtag this is 40.

There's a degree of like. The queen stays queen and the queen stays. No, how 100 million, 300 million, 500 million followers. Bow down peasants. That's how you get, that's how you make bank dude. That and have Kris Jenner as your mom cuz that lady she knows that's that's very true and part of what displays that the fact that Kris Jenner knows what she's doing is so they are they're having a grand old time they're swimming with whales they're dancing and going on bike rides and just enjoying a private island

life releasing their inhibitions feeling the rain on their skin. Live, laugh, love. At a certain point, there is an actual party party for Kim and her mother and her sisters have gone through all the old family albums and all the old like home videos and have recreated the milestone birthdays of Kim Kardashian's life. So like the same balloons, the same cake. I bet exquisitely. Oh gosh. I bet exquisite.

I bet you can like eyeball it and be like that's a six figure party. Yes. Oh, oh and then some. At least. For the recreation of her sweet 16, they had the same make and model of car that she was gifted when she was 16. There in fucking Tahiti on a private island. Very intense, but also pretty sweet.

Like there's a real like attention to like sentimental detail that's cute. Sure, sure, sure. I will listen. You know I watch a lot of Real Housewives. You'd think that I'd be immune to this. Yeah I thought about this. But honestly there are sometimes even when I'm watching my girls the housewives when one of them will talk about like a home theater $250,000 chandelier and I'll be like guillotine. I'm sorry. I love you Shannon Bedor, but I have to eat you. This is terrible.

You put me in this horrible situation. And maybe in my present moment of trying to rub two pennies together, the sweetness is slightly lost on me once we're shipping automobiles to the South Pacific for effect. Yes, and ponies to recreate her first birthday as well. Perhaps though one of the weirder gifts was Kanye's. So at the time, Kanye and Kim were still together. Betrayed happily, happily in love. You know, the world in front of them. He was not yet on the island when he gave his gift.

Oh, I thought you meant like the island that he currently finds himself on due to palling around with white supremacist extremists. No, I mean the actual island instead of the metaphorical. Of Tahiti! I see now. So after a day of swimming in these crystalline waters and eating papaya off of multimillion dollar swords or something like that, I don't know. Yeah, that's a saver. Blackbeard's, James Cook's very own saver.

Yes, exactly. The party, this group of her nearest and dearest, including her sisters and her brother and blah, blah, blah, they gather in what is kind of like a home theater, but there's almost like this black box made with black curtains. And so they're seated in front of this and Kim is told... What did they recreate? What did they possibly... What do you think? What do you think? What did Kanye do?

What did they do? Oh, it's Kanye. It's Kanye's gift. Yeah, this is Kanye's gift. Oh, Christ, now it's completely out of my hands. Now I leave it up to fate. You tell me, what was Kanye's gift? Okay. The theater that's created is a little strange because it's not like a home theater kind of thing. It's like this more of like an installation,

like a black curtain installation. And so all the lights in the room turn down. And then the outline, outline of a man appears. And then we hear a voice. Alfred Hitchcock? No. But it's your your visually. Yes. Yes. Yeah, okay. And it is Robert Kardashian's voice. Oh my God.

It's a hologram of her dead father, isn't it? Yes, it's exactly that. That's fucked. That's fucked, that's fucked. I'm so nervous and scared. Oh no, oh no, okay, oh. For those who don't know, Robert Kardashian is Kim Kardashian's father.

He died in 2003 from esophageal cancer. He was the age 59. And Robert Kardashian, if you also don't know, was OJ Simpson's lawyer. He was like a criminal defense attorney. One of the all star fucking lawyers who got OJ off the hook. Right.

So specifically it was a deep fake technology that was using all these different elements of performance, motion tracking, sound effects, video effects, and like the top notch of deep fake stuff. And it was the same company that brought us Tupac when he performed on stage. Amy Winehouse, Reagan. All the greats.

On the grades. So again, just to loop back around for those who don't know, deep fake technology is basically, they access like a vast archive of existing video footage of somebody which they then alter to make it appear as though this person is doing things. Like if you take a public figure like Kim Kardashian or Kanye West or Joe Biden or Ronald Reagan

or anyone who has like a lot, a lot, a lot of footage on them, you can kind of make an algorithm that will manipulate that footage such that it looks like they're doing things that that person never did. And then I assume this is combined with this hologram technology as well as do they like, what's our boy Bobby K Kardashian, what's he saying?

Is that like original content? No, so apparently Kanye kind of poured over a lot of the home videos and a lot of these, you know, other, like you mentioned, like this database of all this imagery of Robert Kardashian and he pieced together a script of his own writing in the voice of Robert Kardashian. So it starts with Robert saying, look at you, Kimberly, you're 40 and all grown up. You look beautiful just like when you were a little girl. What? That would re-traumatize me. I would not enjoy it.

I think I'd cry. I think I'd leave. I think, and then I would feel guilty that this person who had like gone to great expense to give me This like clearly it's Well, you get me the gift card for the hologram So you can select your own and maybe if I don't want fucking my dad to tell me how good I look at 40 I can get Lucille ball. You know what I mean? Yeah Her dad also comments on the fact that he's so proud of her for all the businesses that she's created. He doesn't know about them. I know, but the idea

is that he's dead. He even says like, I'm watching over you. In fact, this is also like a very Kanye vibe thing. He's like, I have built a firewall around this family. It's like, what do you, what? That doesn't. Yeah. What are you talking about? He also mentions how proud he is of Kim for going to law school and starting this journey of being a lawyer. And at the time she, well, she wasn't in law school. She was reading the law, which is another way of getting a degree. You have to take what's called a baby bar. And at this point, Kim had failed it until she was about to take it again.

And this vacation was a really good reset for her to just totally unplug and then come back and really get into it. But she needed Robert to kind of give her a nudge over the finish line from the great beyond, let's say. Yes, yeah, yeah. A little help over the bar. We definitely know though that Kanye was the one who wrote the script because at a certain point towards the end

Robert Kardashian dead dad says to Kim his daughter quote you married the most most most Genius man in the whole world Kanye West end quote And again to, that disrupts the immersion. That to me, I'm like, oh, you wrote, you made my dead dad say that shit, you fucking psycho. Like it's, and also I'm crying because you just dropped

my dead dad in my lap and he's telling me that he saw me make it to 40, which he didn't. Like, oh, sorry, he's in heaven. No, he's not, I can see him right there. He to 40, which he didn't. Like, oh, sorry, he's in heaven. No, he's not. I can see him right there. He's in a fucking screen. He thinks you're a genius. Like, what am I supposed to do with that?

Well, yeah, it should be noticed that four months later, Kanye and Kim broke up. They divorced. Because of that. That's why. According to Kim, she really, really enjoyed the gift. She found it to be very sentimental and very heartfelt. And quote, for my birthday, Kanye got me the most thoughtful gift of a

lifetime. A special surprise from heaven, a hologram of my dad. It was so lifelike, and we watched it over and over filled with so many tears and so much emotion. End of quote. So she, at least publicly facing, really enjoyed it. And it is very public facing, right? This is season 19, episode 40 of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. There you go. There you go.

Truly. And they have it down to a silence. They really, really do those folks. They really, really do those folks. They really, really do. Cause there was a lot of pushback one against like the private island in 2020. But this is great cause now nobody's gonna be talking about the private island. They're talking about the hologram.

Which was also a colossal waste of money. Don't get me wrong. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those things probably run something like $400,000. Go feed a nation, it's COVID bro. Yes, exactly, yeah. Dolly pardon up. Be the change.

Be the change. Maybe you might have gotten voted in as president if you were in the church. But Kim is still studying for the bar. Robert, we need you. Impart your legal wisdom from the great beyond. So if the Kim Kardashian birthday is a little bit too lavish, too like glitzy, too glammy, and you want something that maybe has,

still has that like Kim glam to it, but it's like less glitz and more monochrome, Soviet style, cult of personality. I've got I've got the story for you. I was just thinking I was looking around at all of this like this decadence this capitalist decadence and I thought like what these people need is like some sensible haircuts. Yes. And and maybe we can stand in some lines that builds character.

Yeah. And these buildings are far too ornamental for my liking. Lots of thoughts, lots of thoughts. Taylor, get on the bus. Let's go. Let's go, let's go. We're headed... Hey now, hey now. We're headed north. We're headed north to North Korea, my dude.

Oh no! Oh no, they're gonna wanna search the party bus. We're gonna have to do all the drugs. Yes, right now. And that's gonna be good, cause it'll keep us awake to check for wires when we're coming back. Exactly. So North Korea has a national holiday to celebrate the birth of Kim Jong-il. So this day is called the Day of the Shining Star. Great name. Great. It's up there with Golden Cholita, truly. Yeah, yeah. So Kim Jong-il, he was born in 1941 slash 42.

That's the Western capitalist calendar, but if we're really gonna talk about the real calendar here, it's Juche year 30 or 31, to be more precise. It is 31 years from the birth of the eternal president of North Korea. Kim Il Sung. Yes, yes. Okay, well it's a good gimmick.

Looked at what Jesus had and said why not we. Exactly. Why not, what's holding me back from being the new BC? Yeah. Truly. It's just like, I'm getting like distant Kanye. Kanye's like in the background. Kanye's like why didn't I. Kanye is like in the background.

He's like, why didn't I think of that? Oh, fun fact here though, this term Juche, something that I learned from Mitchell. And then I also learned from Mitchell that in 2017, mere months before I met him, he had a blog called my Jukeshae blog where he wrote about North Korea. Okay so truly truly life is and and and love and relationships are just about finding the weird secret dialogue option

that unlocks people's fucked up backstory and shit that you had no, you're like, oh, I guess that we just never, I never said the right combination of words to unlock the Jujube block story. But now I have somehow. So what's the deal? It was a project that him and his friend Kevin, whom you've met.

I like Kevin. Yeah. Nice guy. Kevin came to Mixchel and was like, dude, we should like give each other like blog projects. After the hand jobs, we should do blog projects. Like Kevin was like, I'm going to tell you to do a blog. And then Mixchel was like, I'm going gonna tell you to do a blog. And then, Mitchell was like, I'm gonna tell you to do a blog.

So Kevin told Mitchell to do a blog on North Korea. And Mitchell was like, all right, let's go. Crack, crack those knuckles. And he got to type in a way. And I forget what, I totally forget what Mitchell. Okay, yeah, I gotta get him. Hold on. Get him, get him.

Taylor? Hey. When Kevin gave you the assignment to do your Juche blog, what was the assignment that you gave him in return? I'm so glad you asked. First of all, happy early birthday. Thank you, it's really kind. So he assigned me that and I assigned him psychic pets. Oh, that's right.

Pets with psychic abilities. Psychic animals. Interesting. Why that? I wanted to know. I wanted to see. Okay, that's. I wanted to learn more.

Cool. Thank you. You can go. Anything else? That's all I can think. No, that's it. Thank you. Thank you.

Mixchel wrote a few entries about North Korea, including an explanation of Juche, which I will share with you shortly. But it should be noted that Kevin did not do a single entry on his blog. What a piece of shit. So what's the definition of Juche? The Juche idea is based on the philosophical principle that man is the master of everything and decides everything. It is the man-centered world outlook and also a political philosophy to materialize the

independence of the popular masses. The government of the DPRK, which is the name for North Korea. Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Steadfastly maintains Juche in all realms of revolution and construction. Well, I may not agree with it, but when I hear it, I gotta say Juche. Juche. Juche.

Juche. Made a good point there, Juche. Nah, nah, honestly that kind of sounds like bullshit to me. No, it's exactly it. That's exactly this like circuitous, like logical, illogical reasoning of just lay it all on the feet of whoever is the ruler that we've determined and we'll just follow blindly what they say, which that's one way to do it, I guess. No judgment to North Korea. I don't know why I feel the need to like...

Yeah, weigh in. You gotta get this shit out of your system before we get off the party bus, man, because you're gonna get disappeared into a fucking conference room if you're not careful. That's why you and Mitchell are good for each other, because you both feel the need to weigh in on North Korea. That's it. That's the connection. That was really our stars aligning.

That should have been in the vows. You're right. We really missed opportunity. We'll have to renew our vows in North Korea. Won't be doing that. Instead, maybe we'll just celebrate this day of the shining star. So like I mentioned, it's the birthday of Kim Jong-il, who's like in this lineup of North Korea. He's like the second ruler, eternal ruler.

Yep. Kim Il-sung to Kim Jong-il to Kim Jong-un, who's the current guy. Nicely done. Very good. So how does one celebrate day of the shining star? Well, you shoot off rockets and satellites. I don't know if you remember in 2016, there was the launch, a failed launch of a... Yes, I do distantly remember this. Yes. Yes, yes yes of a satellite that was carried into orbit the name of the rocket was Gwangmaeongsong which means the shining star which is what Kim Jong-il

is also known as. You can also celebrate the day of the shining star by blossoming and having all around the city these bright red begonias that are named Kim Jong Ilia. They are a specially cultivated flower. This day is in February. It's February 16th. So there's a lot of manpower that goes in to make sure that these begonias bloom on February 16th and that they're ready to go for all these celebrations. The cool thing about the cult of personality country is all of this like the frills right the extras. It's true yeah.

But it's sad that that's what the manpower is diverted toward in situations like that you know what I mean? Yeah. It's a shame. It's a shame that all this spectacle doesn't just generate itself and what else could... Again, why do I need to weigh in on North Korea? What's going on? Why are we weighing in so much on North Korea? Another way to celebrate the day of the shining star, a whole bunch of soldiers are instructed

to carve ice sculptures around the city. What, I mean, what am I talking of what? Of Kim Jong Il, probably, huh? Kim Jong Il, yeah, yeah. Increased food rations are distributed to families and kids in particular get a kilo of candy. Every kid in the country, yeah. I'm not gonna turn down a kilo of candy.

I mean, how's the candy? I wouldn't imagine good, but I would also imagine that like any type of like sugar would just blow. Yeah, blow my mind. So that's fun. But you know, maybe this just like isn't enough. You're just like, what the fuck? This is, I need something more.

I want something grander. I don't need that Kim Kardashian, but I need, I need some Soviet more. Well then Taylor, you just hang on for a few more months. Get yourself to April 15th. Okay. And then you can celebrate Kim Il-sung. Hey. His birthday. This is the guy who starts the Juche calendar now. This is the guy who's, yeah, this is zero. This is North Korea Jesus. This is zero Juche. Yeah. So he's known as the revolutionary founder of North Korea. He is what they call the eternal president of North Korea. and to commemorate his birthday it is a national holiday called Day of the Sun. So we have Day of the Shining Star, pretty cool, but now we're going big. We're going Day of the Sun. That around which all we know rotates.

And this bad boy, Christmas is outlawed in North Korea. You can't celebrate Christmas because no religion. Fair enough. Instead, they just pop this guy in and they're like, we're gonna make this the big one. This is the big, big celebration of the year. Yeah, I mean, if we're talking like one to one Jesus analog shit, yeah, of course, why not? Exactly.

Day of the Sun only started to be celebrated three years after Camille Song's death. Because apparently when he was alive and when he was the eternal president, the living eternal president, he was not one to make public appearances, to have a big to-do around his birthday. Just give me a card and a hug, Sun. Yeah, no, exactly. He was like, I'd rather inspect a factory or a military site than celebrate myself. So we're just gonna chill. He did love to inspect a factory. Yeah, that's-

I think that kind of went down into the family. Yeah. That's a hereditary trait. The Kims, they do like to inspect a factory. But he also did love a synchronized swimming event whenever he could get one. And who doesn't? True enough. There was a year in which he attended one to celebrate his birthday, but the press were instructed not to share that information with the wider citizenry. The festivities that surround the day of the sun are relatively similar. You'd see ice sculptures, you'd see

not the begonia flowers, but these are an orchid that are specially cultivated for the day of the sun, especially cultivated for Kim Il-sung. So a little step up. I feel like orchids are always a little like... They're elegant. Yeah. They're elegant. They're elegant. Because they're fussy. They're seen as fussy. Exactly. Yeah. And I think that that's part of it. Like if you... it's like a souffle, you know what I mean? Part of it is the trick of like, look at this like incredibly temperamental thing that I've made so beautifully. Yeah, which makes sense. Like the father gets the little fussier situation, the little like classier, fussier situation. I'm sure everyone gets a flower.

I'm sure Kim Jong-un will get a flower if he doesn't have one already. It's true. He doesn't have one already because there's kind of this pattern of like, their birthdays aren't celebrated on a national scale, like as a national holiday until they are dead.

Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Another thing that especially marks the day of the sun festivities is mass gymnastics. So what the fuck is mass gymnastics? I think I can guess. Okay, go right on ahead. There are lots of people doing gymnastics. Yep, yep, nailed it! Birthday boy gets a ride! My wish came true. I finally won a game on one of these. It is a particularly kind of like Soviet spectator sport I'd say and it's because it has all these like the communal masses coming together and doing stuff together. The people.

Yeah. Kim Jong-il said of particularly mass gymnastics themselves, quote, Developing mass gymnastics is important in training schoolchildren to be fully developed communist people. Mass gymnastics foster particularly healthy and strong physiques, a high degree of organization, discipline, and collectivism in school children. The school children, conscious that a single slip, a single slip in their action, Taylor, may spoil their mass gymnastic performance, make every effort to subordinate all their thoughts and actions to the collective."

God, why does every major school of thought need to be so prescriptive and rigid? He has to be collective always! Like fucking... sometimes yes, sometimes... it's always something. It's always these god damn communists. Pinko commies. These damn pinkos are in our schools. And as you can imagine, Taylor, the Day of the Sun festivities are not all sunshine in North Korea.

According to many a defactor who has left North Korea and has shared the stories of what it means to celebrate. A lot of them recalled that there was an incredible amount of work that had to go in to cultivating those orchids, into practicing for mass gymnastics or any other type of performances that were demanded of the citizens Though there were positive Feelings towards the two days that you got off after the day of the Sun You know what there's always gonna be positive feelings towards a bank holiday. It's so true. It is so true According to a North Korean studies expert Shin Mi-nyeo She says de facto is remember the day of the sun, but they don't miss it.

They remember how hard they had to train for it and the pressure and difficulty of attaining fresh flowers in North Korea's cold spring days. Yeah, and as we discuss the pressure of the mass calisthenics or the mass gymnastics, imagine fucking it up for the dear leader. Right, yes. You know what I mean? Yeah. So maybe this is too much pressure. This is too much pressure for a birthday.

You never have that feeling where you just it's too much. You just too. You want everything to be perfect, but it's not going to be perfect. So you just got to let it go. I can't do all this blow before we get to Pyongyang. It's so true. You know what? Maybe we're just going to drive the bus It's so true. You know what? Maybe we're just going to drive the bus in a different direction. You had some good like lateral head action happening there. Thank you. I've been practicing my mass gymnastics. They teach you that at the party bus chauffeur academy. Yes, they do. Yeah. How do you do that and keep your hat on at the party bus chauffeur academy. Yes they do. Yeah. How do you do that and keep your hat on at the same time?

How do you avoid getting finger splinters from pushing the button that rolls up the glass? Exactly. No, let's do a little chiller birthday. Let's do like, we don't need to go crazy. We can go a little homegrown. Let's take it. Let's just, these are, we're thinking too big.

Let's take it small. Keep it local. Keep it local. Keep it local. Gas prices. Keep it local to Prairieville, Louisiana. How about? Let's head over there. A stone's throw away. Yeah. Just a quick hop, skip and a jump. Prairieville, Louisiana. It's 2015. Cause our party Omnibus is also a time machine. It's a bit of a magic school bus vibe. Let's just... It is very... You're the frizz in this equation. You're the frizz.

I guess I'm all the children. You're all... Each of them a little bit. And it's your birthday. Don't forget that. It is your birthday. And it's my birthday. And we are getting ourselves ready to go to perhaps the weirdest and cutest two-year-old's birthday party that we will ever get a chance to go to. Okay. This young boy, obviously he's about to turn two, Grayson Dobre. He lives in this small town and his mom and his dad, they go back to work. And so grandma takes over more of the childcare. Giga. Giga. Yeah. Giga is there. Giga takes over the childcare.

And when Giga takes over more of the childcare, that means... It's my birthday. She has to do it. Our young Grayson is watching a little bit more TV, maybe. And he's catching all the good daytime stuff. In particular, he is getting those local ads. And every time that the personal injury lawyer, Morris Bart comes on. I see where this is going.

A skinny, white, middle-aged man in a suit, red tie. Clowns take many forms. Birthday clowns take many forms. Oh yeah, we'll get to a birthday clown, don't worry. Here comes our guy, Morris Bart, because it's, you know, 11, 20 a.m. and that's what's on the TV. And Grayson flips out.

It is just tunnel vision, Morris Bart. I love Morris Bart. That might as well be Taylor Swift. Morris Bart, Morris Bart. And it's like, the ad is very run of the mill. It's like, you know, a big gavel comes down, a graphic. Run of the mill for some. For some.

But Grayson, this is fresh. This is new. This is exciting. He's like, finally someone's the shit. We're all thinking One call that's all Guys I see what Grayson sees in this right exactly So according to Grayson's mom quote before he could walk or talk Every time the Morris bark commercial would come on,

he was just fixated. You couldn't talk to him. You couldn't do anything with him. He would just sit and stare at the TV. You could call his name, give him a toy. He didn't care. He just wanted to watch the Bart commercial. End quote.

Beautiful, Beautiful. So his second birthday is around the corner and his dear mom, who is like this sweet young woman, she's like, well, what are we gonna do? Like, should have unicorns? No, no. Grayson doesn't really like unicorns. Like, a car. I don't know. What does he want? What does he want? Dinosaurs? And it's very clear. Morris Bart. Grayson wants Morris Bart. There's no... There's no if, ands, or buts. It's just Bart.

No ifs, ands, or barts. Well, one Bart, at least. One Bart, yeah. She realizes, you know what, I'm not going to be able to head down to the local party city and grab the Morris Bart decorations that I need. So I need to get a little creative with this. They were already sold out. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. No man, you gotta call at least a week in advance for the Bart shit. That stuff's always rotating. It's hot. Hotcakes. Just flies off the shelves.

So she improvises. She has a life-size cutout made of Morris Bart. She has a Morris Bart t-shirt made. At one point she gets a pillow made with his image. Of course. And once you're the mom and you've figured out that this is what the assignment is and props to her for not trying to like shove this kid into a round hole and just being like,

fuck it, we're going full Bart. It's true. What a fun assignment. Exactly. What a funny thing to go, you'll never believe why I'm having this sign made. You know what I mean? That's dominated her life for a couple of weeks now too.

What else has she made? She gets a cake featuring the likeness of Morris Bart. And she gets, you know, the photo, you submit the photo and they put it on the cake. But she also has it written like Morris Bart, like happy birthday, Grayson from Morris Bart and she gets the you know the photo you submit the photo and they put it on the cake but she also has it written like Morris Bart like happy birthday Grayson from Morris Bart like that kind of thing you can't read I know but apparently when she put in the order at the bakery the woman there thought that she meant Bart Simpson she just heard Bart and like oh yeah kids birthday okay Bart Simpson and then when she submitted the photo and she saw that it was Morris Bart,

the local personal injury lawyer, she was like, Oh, Oh, this isn't Bart Simpson. She like had to call and be like, are you sure this is the right image? So in order to get the image of him though, Grayson's mom had to call the Morris Bart law office. And it's a it's one of these like really big law offices, like obviously they have TV commercials, but they have billboards. He is all throughout Louisiana, but he's also in Mississippi, Alabama and parts of Arkansas. The Morris Bart law firm, they say, Yeah, sure. We have, we have graphics you can use, we'll send you the images.

And then they also send though an autographed photo of Morris Bart signed by Morris Bart himself. Do you think he just had a headshot or did they have to like print that? No, no, no. I think they're like they're in the back room. Like this is that type of law office. Yeah, I got it. Celebrity lawyer, celebrity lawyer.

So the party goes wonderfully. Grayson has a great time. How could he not? Right, exactly. The pictures are adorable. The pictures are great because they're definitely somebody's house. Like Giga is bent over in one photo, you just see her ass. Giga! That's classic Giga though. Remember when Giga bent over we could all see her butt? That's like what Giga is there to do. But of course this is a weird and funny story. So the word gets back to Morris Bart and he had sent the, or you know, his office had

sent the autograph photo, but then all this local media. Unless the dad is like in the fucking KKK or something, there's no downside to this fucking story. This is a human interest that you can only look good if you're Morris Bart. If you're Morris Bart. Exactly. Yeah. that you can only look good. If you're Morris Bart, it's adorable. Exactly, yeah. When interviewed and asked what was it like

to be kind of called in for a two-year-old's birthday as the theme, Morris Bart said, I'm flattered by it all. He might be a future lawyer that could be a future competitor of mine many years down the road. Or, Twink T husband, much younger. Like when he gets to be like 25 or something, and you're like 80, and he's gonna be like,

it's always been you, Morris Park. It's always been you. It's always, that's, wow, there's a lot of, there's a lot of pathos in that. That goes up, that goes down, that goes all around. I try to take a literary approach, Local media gets on top of it. Of course, it's like the morning shows kind of, you know, they like to toss this around, that kind of thing. But it gets picked up so much, it eventually lands on Jimmy Kimmel. And Jimmy Kimmel does like a zoom in

to Prairieville, Louisiana and does an interview with Grayson and his mom and Grayson, he's like just barely three at this point and he like can't sit still and he's like, what, huh, huh, huh? I still can't Grayson, I still can. It's okay. Yeah, until Jimmy is like, Hey, what about Morris Bart?

And then he kind of like stares at the camera. Snaps your attention. He's like, yes, what about Morris Bart? Yeah, say more Jimmy. Mother leave the room. Exactly, exactly. This gentleman and I are having a conversation. And then he loses his attention again.

And he's like rolling around on the floor and stuff. Jimmy turns off the camera to Prairieville and he explains to the audience, I've got Morris Bart at their door. He has a birthday gift for our young Grayson there. Oh, Grayson's going to be overwhelmed. It would be my worry. The camera is, you can kind of see the front door in the background and you hear a knock and you see this tall white skinny man walk in to their house and come down the

hallway. Is he dressed like the commercial? He's in a suit with a red tie, exactly. Perfect, perfect. Yes, it's perfect. He needs to be dressed as Morris Bart, you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, yeah, exactly. You're right, yeah, we're all characters. We all play a part. We all play a part. Hahaha.

Whoa. That's good. That's good. Happy birthday, Taylor. Grayson freaks out at a certain point. He just lies down on the floor because he's like so awestruck. Yeah, overwhelmed. And so then they gather onto the couch in front of the camera so that Jimmy can see. And it's really adorable because Morris Bart has brought a gift for Grayson and Grayson opens it on camera and he opens it. And it's a tiny little suit, a black suit with a red tie.

So he can be Morris Bart. Exactly like what he's wearing. Stop it. I'm losing my mind. But it's tiny and it's so cute. Wow. Wow. The human interest gods smiled upon Prairieville with this one.

They really did. They really, really did. Well, thank you for throwing me a little birthday party. I'm genuinely delighted. Made me quite glad. Oh, we still got two more stops on this birthday train, baby. Two more stops?

Hey, is there a bathroom in this party bus? No, but we'll pull over. There is a bathroom, but I don't know how to empty it. So let's just. Fair enough. They didn't teach you how to use the hose. They were busy teaching you how to flick the button. I got it. I got it. Uh, like I mentioned before, it is also, it is a time traveling machine. I don't know how to empty the toilet, but I do know how to get it to go back in time. Perfect. And this story, you'll notice that there might not be as very specific birthday party situation, but we do hit on a birthday. And I also just think like, you know, we've had the very lavish parties, we've had the very juche parties, we've had the very kind of quirky local TV, personal injury lawyer

parties. Now we just need to go like fucking party. Cause sometimes you just want to like, it's your birthday and you just want to like let loose. Shit up your back. Yeah. Yeah. So what? No, I feel that.

I feel that. I feel that. I feel that. You just want to get paralytic and fucking puke and piss everywhere through your clothes. Well, yeah, yeah. Shit up your back definitely is a way to describe And fucking puking piss everywhere through your clothes. I feel that. Well, yeah, yeah. Shit up your back definitely is a way to describe our next partier.

And that is world famous, historical groundbreaking astronomer, Tico Brahe. Are you familiar with Tico Brahe? I know the name. I couldn't Brahe. But I know of him, but I didn't know he was such a party animal. Yes. Tico Brahe was born in 1546. Brahe's parents were both nobles in Denmark, which meant he was born into a certain amount of privilege.

A Great Dane, if you will. Exactly. Nailed it. Yeah. Strangely enough, his uncle kidnapped him at the age of two, and his parents... That is strange. Say more. His parents didn't really seem to mind. So was he kidnapped then or is it just babysitting? I think it might be a long-term babysitting. Gorilla babysitting. His uncle was a dear friend of the king, King Frederick II. So maybe there was this sense of like, listen, you take Tico and you can bring him up into even greater privilege than we can? Question mark. I don't know. But it did do something to his personality. Yeah, it would. Because Because he from a very early age was

always just like slightly like reckless like willing to get into a fight just kind of like intense a little over the top a little like tell me more tell me more is that what you mean come on come on let's go. I thought you were doing Greece there. I felt it too. I felt it. Yeah, it kind of slipped in. He started studying the law, not unlike Kim Kardashian. Exactly like Kim Kardashian, sure. It's really a parallel story when you think about it. And Morris Barrett, now that we mention it.

Oh my. There is a theme. Oh my, oh my. He was a student of law like Kim and Morris until he witnessed a solar eclipse and he was totally transfixed by what was happening in the sky. He was, all his attention poured to the stars. But not directly, I hope. Yes, Yeah. I have no confirmation on what type of eyewear he had, but- Is he okay?

He's okay. His eyes are okay. Okay. Okay. That's good. His eyes are okay. His nose, not so much. As a student in college studying mathematics and astronomy,

he got into a bit of a tussle. A bonny. We got into a bit of a tussle, a bit of an argument about a mathematical equation and how it was properly solved. And the only way to solve it apparently was to engage in a duel. Duels are crazy. Duels are fucking guys. Duels are crazy. Don't do don't duel it.

Don't duel it. That can be our platform. Stopping duel's. Stop. Or like making sure that they stay stopped. Don't bring duel's back. Don't bring duel's back. Well, this duel didn't go so well for our boy Brahe. He lost a sizable chunk of his nose.

Slopped right off. Yeah, don't do duel's. Our boy Brahe, he lost a sizable chunk of his nose. Slopped right off. Yeah, don't do duels. Don't duel it. Yeah. For the rest of his life, he had to wear a prosthetic nose that reportedly was made of gold.

It was very kind of like lavish and fancy looking. Yeah. Taylor's like, maybe, oh. That's kind of, that's kind of bothering. Yeah. 35. New look. It's a new, new gold tip nose. One of his first discoveries as an astronomer was the supernova that was occurring in the constellation of Cassiopeia. That kind of cemented him as, you know, a well-known European astronomer. And then it became clear that he was making

some of the most accurate measurements in science at the time without the aid of a telescope. So this was before the invention of a telescope. So he was just kind of eyeballing it. Exactly. He had like the sextus, he had like these kind of early rudimentary devices, measurement devices, but the way that he was able to calculate things and see things and work things made it so that he was much, much more accurate than his contemporaries. He also was very diligent about marking this data.

He wrote it down, he kept very organized notes about it all which strangely enough, all the predecessors who came before him and his contemporaries, they didn't have as much of a data source as he did. He kind of like found a way to organize it all and to make it all make sense. So that was very notable. This is 15, mid 1500s, right? We're still in a worldview where the earth is the center of the universe.

The sun rotates and orbits around the earth. How long till they bring that one back? That one's, I think that's coming. That's gotta be out there already, right? Yeah, yeah. It's a mere matter, a mere matter of moments, I would imagine. The right pure flicks movie just needs to be made. Exactly, yeah. Got it. Our boy Brahe, he did not believe in that view of the universe. But he believed in this weird kind of middle ground one called the geo heliocentric model, which he explained it by stating that the sun and the moon would go around Earth, they orbited Earth, and then the other planets excluding Earth, they go

around the Sun. But we have both. Yeah, the moon and the Sun go around Earth and then all the other planets go around the Sun excluding Earth. Okay. It's a weird kind of like, what? Why don't you? What? But if he was right, we'd be saying what a genius. Yeah, it's true. It's true. And he is kind of known as a genius because he was able to kind of do all these calculations and he figured out specific parallax thing and I don't know. He did a lot of amazing measurements that launched astronomy forward and got us to the point where we could actually make measurements

and observe the heavens such that we understood that the sun was the center of the universe. Sure. He also was a crazy motherfucking party boy. By the time that he had kind of confirmed himself as like a known entity in astronomy, you know, a historical figure if you will. It was 1575 and he's like, you know what? I'm kind of getting sick of Denmark. I think I might just try something else, party somewhere else. And King Frederick goes to him and says, dude, don't I... no, I want you to stay. I want you to like be

a Danish poster boy. What about this? I will give you your own private island looking at you Kim Kardashian He got a fuck island and I will pay for the state-of-the-art Observatory to be built on this island and you can have the run of the place and I when I say state-of-the-art I mean all the money that you could ever want. The observatory cost 1% of the entire Denmark national budget. So a huge chunk. I mean, that 1% sounds really small. No, of a national budget, that's a lot. Yes. But part of what Brahe used that money for too was to have this lavish lifestyle and

he kind of went a little over the top. At this island he hired a little person to be a jester. Tika. Jepp was his name. Not Jepp. Yeah, he was also clairvoyant. So a lot of layers there. Now, Brahe either had a pet moose or a pet elk. Okay. The historical record kind of goes back and forth on that. Maybe people were unsure. Maybe

people were partying so hard they just couldn't tell. Maybe it was just a coat rack. It's just a coat rack. That's so true. The moose elk slash coat rack though partied hard as well and at one event, one partying event at a friend's house, the animal got so drunk that it fell down a flight of stairs and died from the accident. We're not getting our animal cruelty free certification on this episode, are we? Absolutely not, no. No.

There's a dead coat rack here. That's sad. It's pretty rough. Wait, how do you get up the stairs? It's the mysteries of the party, baby. True, true, true. Just the party gods taking over. It was a long night.

It was a long night. And Brahe had 20 years on this private lavish island studying, partying, drinking, doing all types of weird drugs I would assume. Eating moose meat for a while. Exactly. And in his role with all of this national money coming through, he was considered the astronomy consultant for the royal family. And this meant that he pulled their horoscopes for them, which I really like. It's like astrology consultant. Really. Well, a little bit of Column A, a little bit of Column B.

People mix it up anyway. It's fine. Yeah. The columns were getting constructed at the time. So King Frederick, who was underwriting all of this, he died and the new ruler who took his place was not going to have it. So Brahe had to get the fuck out of there as quickly as he could. It's hard to find good patrons these days. It's so true. So true. Join us over at ko-fi.com. If you want to be one of our patrons and give me a sweet birthday gift. Do do do, do do do.

Tico then Couchsurfed his way through Europe, landing in Prague, and he became the royal astronomer for the Holy Roman Emperor, Rudolph the Second. Right, so he brought his CV, he said, see here where I did a stint in, I was the royal, this could be, in that was the role. This could be This you can be you yeah He did not let down on his partying ways

There was a rumor going around that he slept with or had some type of relationship with the King's mother that Tico was not going too well He had made a few few enemies there but his downfall was not was not that. His downfall was something more peculiar. So as the party boy that he is he went to a few balls, a few soirees, that kind of thing and he landed at a another lavish party kind of a multi-day event, a Kim Kardashian-esque escapade, if you will. Jesus. And he was drinking so heavily, and I think this may have impacted his reasoning, because he decided that he wasn't going to excuse himself to go piss, because that was deemed impolite to leave the table to go and take a leak. So he decided to sit there and not urinate.

And he fell ill that night. Oh no! Three days later, he died from what is suspected to be a burst bladder. You gotta break the seal. You gotta break the seal. The nature calls. You gotta accept the charges. Now he got sick so quickly and died so quickly.

There was some speculation about what this could be because a burst bladder is kind of like, wait, what is happening here? So some people think that he was poisoned. So he apparently, like I mentioned, he kept very good data. He had all this information, all these, all these numbers, but he kept them very close to his chest. He didn't share them widely. So there was thinking that maybe his assistant, a German astronomer by the name of Johannes Kepler, who you might also recognize by the name. He came up with planetary motion, laws of planetary motion. They kind of define how we understand gravity. So the thought is maybe Kepler poisoned him so that he could get access to

his papers. Nah. Seems like a lot. The other ideas were kind of, you know, he was sick from something else, so this or that, but it was never fully confirmed and the poisoning idea always was floating in the air. So for Brahe's 300th birthday, His body was exhumed. Wow. Beautiful celebration. How did this get to the point of like more than just an idle speculation? How did we get to the point of actually like

going through with an exhumation? I think the idea is that he was such a brilliant mind that his death was so deemed so tragic and so strange. And with this poisoning rumor around, there was enough push and enough interest to run tests on his remains. Sure, okay. So the argument is basically he's too smart

to have like held his piss to death. But no, you just have to be real, real junk and you don't want to leave the party. I know! It was FOMO that killed him really. It was. That's really truly what it was. It's a very good lesson for all of us. So running tests on his body, they realized that he probably did not have a gold prosthetic nose.

It was most likely brass, considering the elements that were left on the skeletal remains of the skull. Who cares? You know what? If it's a good looking fake is more impressive than the real thing to me. They ran a whole bunch of tests on his body

and they did determine that it was not poison that did him in, but they still couldn't pinpoint it. They did analysis and determined that he was probably obese, that he had diabetes that went untreated, he had a condition called DISH, which was essentially like parts, it's like an acronym, I forget what it's for,

but it's essentially like parts of his bones were turning to candle wax. They were like, like the imagery of candle wax not turning actually. New horrors every day. New horrors every day. Yeah, Jesus. It was most likely a combination of all of this plus his rampant alcoholism. I was gonna say these all sound like alcoholic problems. Yes. Diabetes, obesity, the candle wax shit I admit is new. And so they determined that it was probably something called ketoacidosis.

It's a condition that manifests pretty quickly and it's common to really heavy drinkers. So it most likely has something to do with your liver and like being able to process toxins out of your body. You just slowly, over time you slowly poison yourself and then all of a sudden you very quickly poison yourself. So party on bro. Party on brah. Party on brahead. Party on bra. Party on.

But it sounds like you're not gonna have like a big party party kind of thing. Not my style, not my style. Not my style. My nose is made out of flesh too. So. Okay, one more party story for you. One more birthday.

Okay, let's one more. let's get to the next, last club on the crawl. Can you do it? Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. This is where I start making the horny text messages on top of the swap. Yeah, I love you, I love you, I love you.

Yeah, we're well past that hour of planning how your night will end. You're in the midst of the end of the night. Shit up my back mode. Yes. Exactly. Well, I promised you a party clown. It's your birthday after all.

You surely did. You did promise me that. So here we go, my dude. Here we go. Who you got for me? Francisco Rafael Arellano Felix. He is a, he was, I should say, a drug dealer of the Tijuana Cartel

who died at the hands of a party clown. What a way to go. You hate to see it. You hate to see it. You hate to see it, folks. Truly you do. There's no less dignified way to go. You hate to see it. You hate to see it. You hate to see it, folks. Truly you do. There's no less dignified way to go than at the hands of a birthday clown. Our boy, Francisco, he was born in Sinaloa. He is the eldest of seven brothers, big family. And he was always kind of this like playboy eccentric, kind of a bit of a party boy vibe even from the very beginning. Him and his brothers at a young age smuggled contraband

from Tijuana into town, so right from the jump they were reeling and dealing in the illegal side of things. Yeah. At a young age, he and some of his brothers moved to Mazatlan and they opened a discotheque that was called Frankie O. Frankie O. O, O-H. O. O.

Frankie O. Yeah. Yeah. And it was a major nightlife attraction in Mazatlan in the mid 1980s. So you know the cocaine is flying. Oh, I'm sure they had gorgeous coke in Mazatlan in the 80s. You could probably buy it right off the cost.

It's probably true. The club was a five million dollar US dollar investment to build it. And it had a capacity to host 2,500 people. It was G fucking enormous. And it had an internal waterfall, a fish tank. It was modeled off of kind of like the zoo vibe. So they had exotic animals. This is amazing. There were tigers in this motherfucker. There was a huge metal statue of a scorpion and out of the scorpion's tail was another waterfall. Wow. The scorpion was kind of like a mascot or like the logo of Frankie O. Our boy Francisco, he often at that time

would wear this diamond encrusted scorpion necklace. And it was a reference to his astrological sign of Scorpio. So I think that was that was a big influence. At this lavish huge nightclub, there were all types of performers that came through. There were lots of car and motorcycle shows and Francisco in particular would perform on his Harley Davidson and what I mean by perform I don't know. Like I can't imagine what that really looked like. Cage of death. Cage of death. Gage of Death. Gage of Death. Yeah, what? Evil Knievel? Yeah, yeah. Or just like, zooming around the bar, the dance floor around the scorpion waterfall.

I love when you bring the fumes inside, Francisco. It's great when you do that. So, in Mazatlan in the mid-1980s, he was selected as Businessman of the Year, but he was also playboy-esque, all this stuff. Meanwhile his brothers were doing a lot of the drug trade. They were probably very friendly with those cocaine selling cops and there was probably a lot of contraband moving through Frankie O. Right. But still Francisco was more of that party boy. He was wearing the diamond encrusted scorpion necklace. Like Simone Biles but he was the early adopter. Yeah, yeah, exactly. He wasn't quite involved in the illegal stuff yet. At an early age

he married a young girl or young woman, I'll say, and they had three children. They separated, divorced. And then Francisco had his eye on a, a young girl who turned 18 right at that moment. And she caught his eye because she was named the carnival queen of Mazatlan. Okay. And apparently according to a few different sources, She was named the Carnival Queen of Mazatlán. Okay. And apparently, according to a few different sources, he essentially just went ahead and kidnapped her

and said, you're with me now, I like you. You're a shiny object. I have a few other shiny objects that perhaps I could interest you with. These damn drug lords. Yep, yep, yep, yep. And of course she said that, no, no, he died. It was my own decision, da da da. But it's kind of like, okay, you just turned 18. And all right, you gotta

do what you gotta do. So he's definitely fulfilling this like very low shirt vibe, right? Like this, this buttoned up shirt has like one button buttoned and you can't even see it's like tucked into high-waisted pants kind of thing. But it's made out of a real diamond for no good reason. Yes! That button. Exactly, yeah. Yeah. Towards the end of the 80s, he starts to get more involved with his brother's drug trafficking. There's kind of this power vacuum that happens in Baja California with one of the drug cartels falling

apart and so these brothers fill the void. They take over and they become what is called the Tijuana Cartel. The world-famous Tijuana Cartel. Don't fuck with the Tijuana Cartel. Of course there were other cartels at the time and they're kind of warring factions, right? In particular the Sinaloa cartel, which was run by El Chapo Guzman, who is more recently in the news because of extradition and all that stuff in the States. Our boy Francisco got further involved with that and stuff was getting messy and weird and at one point there was a hit out on this guy and then another hit out, you know, all of that. Classic Giga. Classic Giga.

Giga, it's so true. Bending over in the photo of the birthday cake. God, Giga. Trying to get the Sinaloa cartel killed. Jesus, Giga. It's 2024, catch up. Yeah, exactly. So at one point, Francisco is involved in an assassination attempt against El Chapo himself. El Chapo escapes, but a Roman Catholic cardinal is killed in his stead. It's very messy. It's very rough. In 1993, Francisco is arrested in Tijuana.

He is incarcerated in Baja California. In 2006, he's extradited to the US. He faces charges of drug trafficking and he's tried in San Diego. Go Pods. Yeah, yeah. But John Kirby, a former federal prosecutor in San Diego who co-wrote the 2003 indictment against Francisco, he says that Francisco quote was never really part of the leadership of the big organization, mostly because he was in jail in Mexico. He was arrested before the Tijuana cartel became what they really became."

Okay. So he's tied to things and he got in the messy murk. He's like the guy who was the Beatles drummer before Ringo. Exactly, exactly. Yeah. He serves under a year in the States and then he's released on parole and he goes back to Mexico. He has served his sentence in Mexico. So essentially he is a citizen again. Of course, he's tied to the Tijuana Cartel. He's tied to it through his

family and all of this. But we all are. We all are. Aren't we all tied to the Tijuana cartel in some way? At the end of the day. Let's not throw stones here, folks. Let's get off our high horses, okay? We're all in with the Tijuana cartel at the end of the day. So he is living his life. He loves cars. He's living in Los Cabos in Baja California Sur with his wife.

He has all these kids. He lives in a suburban home with the view of Los Arcos, which is this beautiful like landmark of Los Cabos. Right, yeah, yeah. He's playing golf and I don't know, like taking pottery. I don't know, whatever he's doing. Yeah, sounds like the dream life. Yeah.

What's that I hear in the distance? Doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot. Doot, doot, doot, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do family. It's about a hundred people. This is such a mob movie. It's exactly that. Yes, they are celebrating his 64 years. According to reports, a black SUV rolled up to the venue at about 8 p.m. descending from the back seat was a party clown, a red wig, a white painted face, a big red nose, funny pants, big old shoes. Why does this clown have tinted windows? You know what I mean? What's going on here? The clown apparently enters through the kitchen.

The reports, all the investigations after said that the folks who saw this clown come through they just kind of assumed, oh, this is part of the party. They're entering through kind of a service entrance. He knows where to go. It's totally fine. I'm sure he does. The clown enters the party space through the from the kitchen and he immediately beeline it to Francisco. He gets about a meter away before he... Wow, this clown is not fucking around. No.

Not clowning around. Not clowning around at all. He removes a handgun, like point blank, shoots Francisco once in like the face area. He doesn't even get to show first. In front of everyone? In front of goddamn fucking everyone. That's fucked. You live by the sword, you die by the sword, I guess, but fuck. The party clown immediately leaves.

There are four shots heard outside of the party venue, but they don't hit anybody. There's speculation that they were kind of warning shots for anybody who was trying to chase them. Or popping balloons. Or popping balloons is true, yeah. Trying to make four consecutive balloon animals and they pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Francisco is dead, instantaneously, obviously. His partygoers, quite a few of them, flee the fucking scene considering that a lot of them are connected to Narco Traficos. Oh yeah, of course.

So the hundred people kind of dwindles down to about 20. Core group. The lifers really. Yeah. The police arrive. It's the local police who begin the investigation because Francisco is a civilian. He's not considered, you know,

an enemy of the state or whatever. Yeah, I guess so. They begin the investigations, but they're not getting a lot of cooperation because a lot of people who are still there don't say much. All these other people have fled the scene, right? So there's no real solid, this is what happened. The investigation... Well, there wouldn't happened, the investigation. Well there wouldn't be, would there?

Doesn't really go anywhere. There's a few ideas. One idea is that El Chapo put the hit out on him. It was kind of from long ago. That seems like a very long time ago, but you know, who knows? El Chapo has his ways. The thing is, you don't get to be a gangster drug lord, organized crime boss, what have you, of this size, of this prestige, of this note, without having a long list

of clowns who would put a bullet in your head. You know what I mean? Well put. Where do you start? Think of every person he's killed. They've got a family member or 20 who's mad at him Yeah, there you go. Yeah doesn't take a great mind to dress as a clown walk in through the side door Shoot a guy in the face. Yeah Well take some scouting take some scouting and that's why there's another theory that maybe it was local drug trafficking ring in Baja California, sir in Los Cabos that wanted to remove Francisco because they saw him as a threat that he could potentially bring other his other family down and they would take over.

So maybe they knew Ocean House, they knew this venue, that kind of thing. But then the third idea is kind of what you're saying too, Taylor, like there was no security at this party where all these Tijuana Cartel folks were. Maybe it was somebody from his own family. It was an inside clown. Maybe it was somebody from the Tijuana Cartel who wanted to take him out. They just decided, well, we're not gonna, we're gonna let this person go through security or we're just gonna have such lax security that it won't matter. Yeah. To this day, we still don't know. The only evidence we have is a pair of size 18 footprints leaving the house into the black SUV. Got it. That's tough. I hope this birthday you do not run into any birthday clowns.

Any killer clowns. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I hope so too now. I hadn't thought about it, but now I do hope that. You invited all those people to the park, dog. Dear me, oh well. At least I'm well equipped with birthday stories that I can tell all of them when my ability to socialize shuts down and I just fall into repeating facts that I know. Yeah.

Welcome to our podcast. Do, do, do. Right. So the party bus is winding down. Welcome to our podcast! So the party bus is winding down. Yeah, the omnibus. The party bus omnibus. We gotta clean up all that mess we made. Yeah, yeah.

It's a little sticky back there. I was gonna say sorry about the glasses. Yeah, it's okay. I don't have to clean out the toilet. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. You just burn these suckers out at the end of the night, don't you? Pull up to the side of the road, dump some fucking gas on it, and torch it for the insurance.

Buy a new one. No, I might have to. We'll see. We'll see. I'll drop you off back at home and then I'll take a gander. Well, thank you for getting me back home safe. I appreciate it. But it's your birthday, of course! I appreciate it. What a nice birthday gift this was. I really, really enjoyed it. Thank you. You're welcome. Have a good 35th, 36th. It's 30th, so we're still figuring it out. Enjoy this journey around the sun. The sun and the moon, question mark. Hahaha! plenty more episodes at bittersweetinfamy.com or wherever you listen to podcasts.

If you want to support the podcast, shoot us a few bucks via our Ko-fi account at ko-fi.com forward slash bittersweetinfamy. But no pressure, bittersweetinfamy is free, baby. You can always support us by liking, rating, subscribing, leaving a review, following us on Instagram at bittersweetinfamy, or just pass the podcast along to a friend who you think would dig it. Stay sweet! For my minfamous about the fighting cholitas, I read Meet the Fighting Cholitas,

Bolivia's Indigenous Women Wrestlers Who Are Battling for Gender Equality by Sarah Huckle for ABC News November 29th 2019. I read Bolivia's Female Wrestlers, Ringing the Changes by Johnny Langenheim November 2nd 2012 for The Guardian. On YouTube I watched Cholita Wrestling, the Bolivian female wrestling that is growing in popularity on Transworld Sport, and Firewater and Female Wrestlers in Bolivia on Vice. Lastly, I watched Season 1 episode five of The Wrestlers, Powerful Women of Wrestling.

The sources that I used for this episode include an article from Us Weekly. Kim Kardashian invited her closest inner circle to a private island to celebrate her 40th birthday. Written by Johnny Mack, April 9th, 2021. I watched Instagram videos from Kim Kardashian of her father's hologram, an article, The Kardashian-Jenner's Threw Kim Kardashian an Epic 40th Birthday Party, written by Amy McClelland in Harper's Bazaar, published October 24, 2020, an article, North Korea Displays Rockets Begonias for leaders' birthday. This was in AP News, written by Eric Talmage, published February 15, 2016. An article from Vice.com Party in Pyongyang. North Korea celebrates rocket launch and Kim Jong-il's birthday.

February 16, 2016. An article from USA Today, Korean de-factors recall Day of the Sun, written by Callum McLeod, April 18, 2013. An article in Business Standard, Kim Jong Un pays tribute to grandfather on birth anniversary, published April 15, 2016. I read an article on myjucheblog.blogspot.com called Juche, written May 3rd 2017 by Mitchell Collins. An article in the Huffington Post, personal injury lawyer flattered to be theme of Toddler's birthday party. Watch out sports heroes,

here comes the lawyers! Written by Caroline Bologna, published July 30th 2015. An article in ABA Journal, Lawyer is Flattered by Toddler's Obsession with His TV Ads, written by Deborah Cassens Weiss, published July 29th, 2015. I watched the Jimmy Kimmel Live segment, Toddler's Lawyer-Themed Birthday Party. This was published to YouTube by Morris Bart LLC 2020. An

article from All Things Considered on NPR, one call that's all, throwing a personal injury lawyer themed birthday party. Published July 31st 2015. An article from Live Science, Tico Braje died from pee not poison. Written by Megan Gannon, published November 16, 2012. An article from Forbes in their science section. Skeleton of famed astronomer Tikobrahe finally reveals cause of death. Written by Christina Kilgrove, May 24, 2018. The article Mexican drug honcho killed by gunmen costumed as clowns from the Los Angeles Times published October 19th 2013. The article Mexico clown gunman kill ex-drug chief, Arayano Felix from the BBC published October 20th 2013. And an article from the Union Tribune San Diego Arellano Chattla Celebrating Birthday

written by Sandra Dibble published October 22, 2013. A big shout out to all our monthly subscribers, Jonathan Mountain, extra shout out for teaching Taylor how to ride a bike. Also a thank you to Lizzie, Dylan and Sachshila Cat, Erica Jo Brown, and Soph. Thank you all for being monthly subscribers. If you too would like to be a monthly subscriber and get access to Bittersweet exclusives, you can head over to ko-fi.com slash bittersweetinfamy.com slash bittersweetinfamy. Bittersweet Infamy is a proud member of the 604 Podcast Network.

The interstitial music you heard earlier is by Mitchell Collins, and the song you are listening to now is Tea Street by Brian Steele.