Bittersweet Infamy - #145 - Only Flags Are Planted in Bir Tawil

Episode Date: June 27, 2026

Taylor tells Josie about the outlandish attempts to establish a new nation in Bir Tawil, a 2,060 km2 piece of unclaimed desert between Egypt and Sudan, and how the legacy of colonialism has shaped the geography of Northeast Africa.

Welcome to Bittersweet Invenu. I'm Taylor Basso. And I'm Josie Mitchell. On this podcast, we share the stories that live on and in me. The strange and the familiar. The tragic and the comic. The bitter. And the sweet.

Josie, the summer is here in force. It's true. The sun is burning. Yes. The air is still. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But I love it.

everybody's horny. That's good. Everybody's horny in like a very transient way. I want to fuck you, but only now. Never again. Only well. This brief window of summer. Yes.

The solstice. The solstice. We're like a day off the solstice recording this, which is always, it comes too soon every year. What do you mean they're getting shorter already again? They just got longer. Oh, I hate that. But that's for the future us to deal with.

Right now, summer is at its highest bloom. And I can vote for it. Rui and I went to Rec Beach and got nice and burned. Turns out that expired sunscreen is worse than no sunscreen. This is a really good PSA, actually. Everybody go get your sunscreen that you're like, this will be perfect. It's not like yogurt where it actually has like a month on it after. No, no.

Turn that thing over. Look at the bottom. Look at like the plastic crease top. Yeah, look at the crease. Because sometimes it's printed in there. Flip that banana boat over. And this is also. part of the PSA, because your sunscreen expires, do not skimp on it. Put on multiple layers. Put it on all the

time. Put it on every day. I've told this story to everyone I've ever met and I've probably told it like 145 episodes deep. There's no way that I'm not repeating stories by now, especially with this one. I repeated like day two. What are you talking about? I ruined a trip to Porta Viarda for myself by being too cool to wear sunscreen and I got some really bad burns on my shoulders, freckles I still got. And ever since that day, that's the sunscreen police. They're coming to make sure that I'm applying. Don't worry, boys. Don't worry.

Things are in hand here. I am applying. Except that I'm not, because it was a pl-it. It was fucking expired. It was wrong. Yeah, yeah. You don't just have to apply. You have to apply the right step.

That was the sunburn police coming after me for expired license. That's what that was. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they knew. Oh, man. That sucks. But I'm glad I to win to rec beat because that sounds really fun. Also fun.

You and I are both World Cup hosts. Yes. At this moment. Yeah, I identify as a hostess. A FIFA hostess. Oh, wow. Wow. Okay. Okay.

No, I don't. A real cupcake. I got you. I got you. Yeah. So what has been the impact of FIFA slash the World Cup so far? Traffic. Yeah.

Oh, fuck yeah. For those who are not football east, among the bittersweet infamy faithful, this year's FIFA World Cup, which comes every four years, biggest football slash soccer tournament in the world. And it's happening spread out across. the three largest countries of North America, which are Canada, the USA, and Mexico, in that order. All right.

I mean geographically, yeah. Geographically, in terms of landmass, yeah. In terms of population, no, no, no, no, no. Mexico City has more than us. What is the World Cup in Vancouver like right now? How does it translate to the Vancouver vibe, the summer scene? You know, I will say, no rain since the people have been here. And so that makes me quite happy that, like, Vancouver is showing up and showing up.

You know, like, I want people to want to come back. I like to be a good host slash S, right? And because of that, it makes me happy when people are having a good time. I went down to Granville Street and I was like, oh, yeah, it's World Cup because the whole fucking street is shut down swarming with people in football jerseys of various different ethnicities and you just hear like the constant din of like, um, oh, la, yeah, just like drifting out of fucking Doolins. You know what I mean?

Wait, is it that Granville Street is shut down to traffic because it's like the FIFA fan zone? Is that what they're calling it? Okay. How about Houston? Are they shutting down any of the highways so people can just walk forever and enjoy it? Haven't done that yet. It's like walking the fucking Great Wall of China. The games are played at the football stadium, the American football stadium, the Texans.

Right. And that's on kind of like one side of downtown. Then on the other side of downtown is where they have the FIFA fan zone, which maybe sounds like Granville Street a little bit. Sure. Because, like, Granville Street in the past has been, like, closed to cars. And, like, it's supposed to be kind of, like, pedestrian-friendly. Houston doesn't really have any space like that. So...

Am I thinking of Houston or Dallas that literally started as a parking lot? There's one of them that, like, infrastructurally, it was, like, I guess, like, parking overflow. And then they're like, why don't we just build a city around this? That may have been Dallas. Houston was built as like... A swamp. It was built on a swamp, but then it was sold as like fertile and like temperate climate. And then you get here.

Has that been your experience? Yeah. That's been it. Yeah. So instead of having like a pedestrian friendly area big enough, what they've done is they commandeered a few blocks east of the downtown core. And they've turned it in to essentially like, to me it looks like a block party. kind of thing, you know, like stanchions you can't drive through.

Gate fence things, construction fence, gate guys. Yeah, exactly. And they call it the FIFA Fan Fest Zone, Fanzone, something like that. And you have to go through a security detector, like a metal detector, and you can't bring in, you know, all that. Got to hold your gun while you walk through and then they give it back to you when you get in, for sure, yeah. Yeah, just above your head, so you pass the, yeah. But they have these big screen set up and like a big stage. And it's really hot.

And so there's like Mr. Stations. And it's a little silly. Though we have been having pretty okay evenings. Like the evenings are still warm, but they're not unbearable. And we ended up going to watch the U.S. Paraguay game last week. And it was fun. On the screen. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. And now we keep saying that. Like, oh, we went to the game. We didn't go to the game. I don't know anybody who's going to a game. That's the other thing is that notoriously it's a gal. Right. Yeah, it's very expensive.

But it's been really fun, and we only went there once, but Mitchell decided he should try and get into soccer. So he's team Mexico. Okay. We will be happy to hear that. It's been cool. I've never watched soccer. So now all of a sudden I'm watching a lot of soccer, and I'm okay with it. So I hear you're the legalized your love.

Yeah. What happened? What did you legalize? What's the love? You got a yellow hat. It's a cute hat. It doesn't fit over my headphones. For those at home who are listening to this without video, Josie is wearing a yellow hat.

I would call this a little Miss Sunshine shade of yellow. Uh-huh. Yeah. And it says legalizer of love. Yeah. So my cousin Wilson and his hands and Courtney asked me to officiate their wedding. Which is really sweet. And what was the pitch they gave you?

What was it like, Josie, you're so special to us? Josie, you're so funny. Josie, we know that you have a really tight relationship with Jesus. Like, what was it? Yeah. It was very cute. my soon-to-be cousin Courtney is an event planer and a very talented one. So like they've been doing all the wedding stuff to just like inth degree.

Like so everything is like, I want that, want that, don't want that. Like, I don't know. They're very good. They're very good. So they came into town and we had a pool day at my friend's apartment complex. And then we came home. We were going to go out to dinner. And they like sat me down and they like presented me with this box.

And I opened the box and the hat was. in it, but like so was a journal and a pen and a cute little ornament. There's a card laid on top that said, will you be our officiant? And they each wrote like a sweet little handwritten note on the back about why. That's classy. It was very classy. It was so sweet. It was really sweet. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's a good sign to when the people who, you were like this at your wedding, the people who are doing the wedding approach you about it in a way that shows a lot of care. You can, number one, it incentivizes you to, like, show care back because you've been cared for. But then number two, it gives you an idea that, like, this, this won't be like a Bridezilla experience

or a groomzilla experience or anything like that, right? Like, these are people who are, you know, thoughtfully engaging their nearest and dearest to be a part of their big day. Exactly. A lovely omen for a wedding, right? And then, like, it really meant something to them, too, you know. Do you have any plans? Like, what do you give us the scoop?

Give us the lowdown. What are you going to, are you going to wear a kilt? What are you going to do? I don't know what I'm going to wear. I can have my buzzed hair if I want. I mean, not they, that sounds strange, but I immediately thought like, oh my gosh, I just buzzed off all my hair. Now I'm going to, you know. A bowled woman at the pulpit.

This is not a marriage of God. There is a lesbian delivering the gospel. And we are at a courthouse. Fuck them. Fuck them. Well, that was another reason I was picked. I mean, because I know them well and, like, we're pretty close. And it's a non-religious ceremony. They didn't need a preacher. They didn't need a pastor.

You're not stepping on any glasses? No, that is not meant to be in there. In fact, like, the first thing when it came down, but like, what do you want it to look like? And they're like, short. I'm like, okay. Yeah, oh my God. No, they get it. They get it. Yeah, yeah.

I remember the first time that you two shared a glance. You looked across the room at that Tony Roma steakhouse, and you knew as soon as you saw each other that you wanted to go to the next table and have a conversation. But you couldn't because you were on the inside of the... Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up! Have you done this before? Have you been an efficient before?

I've been... You know what? But I've never been to, like, a disaster wedding. I've been to weddings that were better. Yours is the best wedding I've been to. I've been to somewhat, yeah, of course. Say it again. I've been to some weddings that were better than others.

I've been to two weddings that took place in, like, the same venue, and were kind of quite similar weddings, things like that. Yeah. But I've been to some nice weddings. The mountains had nice weddings. I've, by and large, been quite lucky with my weddings. I know that you have been an MC. MC twice.

Yeah. MC twice for you and John Mountain. Yeah. And American weddings don't really have MCs. I think the closest thing maybe is like asking you're for your, but maybe not. Make a speech. Yeah. Officians kind of, no, it's kind of in there.

It's whatever role you want to give to like your kind of well-spoken friend who doesn't mind public speaking and isn't part of the bridal party or the groom party, right? Exactly. So your buzzcut cousin who is an English teacher. Yeah. Perfect. Exactly. Yeah.

Exactly. Yeah. I'm excited. I'm nervous. It's a big wedding. It's going to be like 200 people? 200 people that knocked dead. Yeah.

Josie, I want you to get up there and I want you to steal the show, okay? Get out. All eyes on you. Courtney move on over here. Da, da, da, da, da, da. Start spreading the news. They're getting married today. How you doing that, Linda?

Get in there. Well, I hope you have a blast. weddings are nice. I like weddings. I love love. I love love. And it's going to be in Austin. So maybe you'll run into Michael McConaughey. Down with the Whole Foods. I'm buying this cucumber. Oh my God. Are you Michael McConaughey? Oh, I love you. It was kind of Bill Clinton. I'm buying this cucumber, Hillary. You know, they're not far off, no. They're cousins, close cousins, close cousins. Close cousins. It's a cousin's wedding. It's going to be

work out. It's going to work perfect. There you go. There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you saw a recent film that you were very excited. I saw a recent. It's very important. It's very important. Very fun. Fuck your cousin's wedding. I saw the second mortal combat movie. Yeah. Which I bring up for two reasons. Number one, because I think that like the last time that there was a mortal combat movie, I talked about it on the show a low. I was like, it was like a four out of ten. This one I would say was like a six. Nice. And did some of the damage of the first one, got rid of some of the dumb Hollywood touches.

But the reason that I mainly bring it up is because there's a lady in there, beautiful lady, named Tati Gabrielle. She's like an actor, and she's playing the character of Jade. She's like a sort of beautiful warrior woman who in the story, she is the princess's like guard and most loyal friend, but the princess is starting to doubt the kingdom and is turning sides to join the good guys. And Jade has to decide whether she's loyal to her kingdom or loyal to her friend kind of thing. Ooh, rough, yeah. It's a fun little storyline, and the reason that I mention it is because amongst the internet Gamergate type of chuds, this character, who is played by like the most stunningly gorgeous

becheek-boned woman you've ever seen, a gorgeous, gorgeous woman, but she has a shaved head, and the internet nerds don't like that. So we talked about this. The reason that I mentioned this is because this all came about kind of after. We taped our last episode, 144. bald girl summer, Josie, in which you regaled us with the stories of female cue balls past and present. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

A light fluffing of it, yeah. A light fluffing of it. And then it really told us the history of like, here's what it means as transgression, as mourning, as fashion, as culture, as style. Yeah. Like all the different angles, kind of why women shake their heads, right? As Grace Jones, yeah. Yeah.

As Grace Jones pulling her tities out when she's singing at Disneyland in front of the fucking Magic Castle or something, we don't know. I was feeling it, okay? And so I thought about that a lot in terms of this sort of conflict that I saw online about this, like, again, stunningly beautiful in amazing shape, model with amazing facial features. Yeah. Who had like close-cropped hair and people who were like, I don't like this version of the character. She's ugly. And I was like, y'all are fucking children.

But yes, all this to say, number one, if you were only so-so on the first Mortal Kombat movie, go watch the second one. It's slightly better. That's kind of fun brainless martial arts stuff. And then number two, go listen to episode 144, Bald Girl Summer, our most recent episode. Because it was good. God damn it, it was good. Speaking of movies, over at the Bitter Sweet Film Club, K-O-Hifin-Fi.com slash bittersweet infamy. You got that right.

That was good. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. I was up last night studying. The gimmick of the Bittersweet Film Club, of course, because we love a gimmick, is that we watch and discuss the films that you. choose. So you become a monthly subscriber over at coffee.com

slash bittersweet infamy and you can pitch us movies, infamous movies, movies about infamy concerning the nature of infamy movies that are themselves infamous in their making about real world, infamous things, or hell, just movies that you like, ask Terry McCann, she likes working girl, and so do we. It's a great movie. What other movies have we watched? What other movies have we watched on The Bittersweet Film Club? Name some. Name something. Name like three.

Okay. Well, the one we just watched is, It's... Wow. Name one. How about name one? We watched Roar, which is probably... We did watch Roar. We did watch Roar. The most insane. That's not a movie. I don't... That's a snuff film, dude.

This is the 1981 film where Tippy Hedron and Melanie Griffith get shoot mauled on camera by lions for like 90 minutes. More lions than you are imagining. Yes, yes. Ant Hills of Lions. How about this? We watched James Cameron's masterpiece Titanic. That was good. Who knew? That episode is longer than the film. They usually are longer than the film. And they're video podcasts. We had a guest to that one. You could even be on the show if you are persistent.

And even just ever so slightly persistent. Like, I wouldn't even say that. Oh, I think I suggested that. I think I suggested that. Exactly. And then what else? We've watched Bonnie and Clyde. We have watched a simple favor in which the song about Bonnie and Clyde appears. Which does not appear in Bonnie and Clyde. No, uh-uh. It does not.

But the point is, we watch all kinds of interesting, fun, funny, smart, bad, historically relevant, historically ill-reverent, historically irreverent, and so on. Ill-reverent, I think it's irrelevant. It's hard in these streets. Josie, what are we watching next on the film club? Cry in the dark. A cry in the dark. Evil angels. Or evil angels, depending who you isk.

Yeah. Josie. Yeah. Yeah. Josey. This one was a Mitchell Collins suggestion, I believe. But like we had kind of mind-melded on it because I was like, yo. Yeah.

I also was thinking a cry in the dark. What is a cry in the dark about Josie? It is a film depiction of a true life story in which a woman named Lindy Chamberlain and her husband and young family go camping near Ars Rock. Uluru, which is in Western Australia. And her baby that she puts down in the tent is taken by a dingo, question mark. Or is, yep, or is it? And so if you've ever heard, if you've ever seen the episode of Seinfeld or heard any of

the allusions to that sort of almost comically deployed catchphrase, the dingo ate my baby. And you think of that's so funny. It is not a funny story. No, I didn't go actually. It sucks. Yeah. Well, or you'll have to find out. Well, you can also go.

You can look at the Wikipedia page. This actually happened. But if you want to see Merrill Street, if you want to see Merrill Street perform it, then you watch the movie and join us on the Bitter Sweet Film Club. And it's a very classic, bittersweet, infamy story where a fiction becomes so disorienting and so distorted that it takes over the truth.

and it's a wild fucking ride, and I am really glad that I am not Lindy Chamberlain. And it's one of those stories that so seem to happen where it seems so obvious in the rearview mirror, but as it actually unfolded, everybody passionately, passionately, passionately believed something that turned out not to be true. I mean, dude, we'll talk about this more, but Mitchell was telling me in his research that even after, Like, even when the movie was coming out, people were like, I can't believe they would spread, spread this story, spread these lies. Yeah. Why would they glorify her?

Yeah. Yeah. They said it like this. No, no. No. No. Not Sheila. Yeah.

Peace. I'll piss on that. We'll watch the dressmaker. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we watched the dressmaker. That's a great one. You slut. You slut.

So, be good little slats. And join us over at. The Bittersweet Film Club, K-O-HifinFi.com, and give us inspiration for cinematic enjoyment. Fuck her. Sorry. Sorry. girl. I'm so sorry. She's our problem now. Oh, no. She's our. She's my countryman now. Wait, is she really moving to Canada? She works for, I don't know if she's moving, but she was,

she works now for, as a strategic advisor for Nova Red Mining. So maybe she gets to stay where she is, but she's, Zoom calls in once a month. I like to imagine her like running on the seawall, you know, looking at the laughing statues down by the end of, you know, Davy Street. Having an ice cream. Yeah. Yeah, gelato on commercial drive, Italian Day. Sees a puppy out of the corner of where I, puss. Goes back to a gelato.

Oh, no. That has nothing to do with my story today, but I just thought I'd let you know. I was like, wow, this is the current event. We're going. Just thought I'd let you know. Diving in. Just thought I'd let you know. Okay, good.

I'm glad I know. Nothing to do with it. None of this has anything to do with that. That we know of. That we know. Yay. the night is young. So as you know, Josie, I make it a priority of mine when I'm sort of like gaming out the

curation and the programming of this podcast to showcase stories from around the world. Yes? Yeah. I think I had a coming to Jesus probably after our first season that like, I think almost every story we did in that first season, most of them, were American. Yeah. And I have nothing, well, I wouldn't say have nothing against America. You can have something against America.

I have nothing. I have, Josie, I have nothing against you or your country. Like, it's so, it's such a fine line these days with what we say. Yeah. Hard, hard. On paper, I got nothing against America. Or certainly I got nothing against America that would mean that I'm like, oh, I can't showcase American stories, although I did do that last year as like a sort of protest against,

you know, Trump being a prick to Canada. And when I'm picking, like, stories from around the world, my logic is, I don't think that, like, it should be just an American or just a North American. perspective of people, because I think that a lot of what we're doing is we're unpacking people, we're unpacking how people tell stories, we're unpacking how people tell stories and when they're true and when they're not and when those kind of are mingled together. A bunch of things, a bunch of things we do on the show. And I want all of that to be examined through the lens of, okay, here's what it looks like in America, but maybe here's what it looks like in Africa or here's

what it looks like in Japan or here's what it looks like in Switzerland, like truly all over the world. I think a global perspective for a show like this is great. And broadly I would say that one of the things that I try to do, usually, is I like stories that are sort of by for and about people and places, as opposed to, like, stories of Americans abroad, let's say. Okay, okay. By which I mean to say, if you look at a story like the Divine Fire, which is the one that takes place in Chile about that gay nightclub burning down, which was like episode 52, I think, or if you look at a story like, the story of Maimuna Dukre and Cuties, sort of takes place

very particularly in this sort of like Senegalese Parisian diaspora, right? And it's very bifurne about this community and how it runs into like controversy in America, which kind of is what I'm coming back around to. I keep finding stories that take place in all these different places like Greenland where America, and if not America, then like the West or an encroacher enters a space. Yeah. Just the idea of like the ways in which spaces and cultures and populations are altered by the encroachment of what I'm metaphorically thinking of as colonialism, although it's not always specifically that. Right, yeah.

But in this case, it's sort of very much, I've, to kind of, that's the fucking lock up the colonizers, police. Let's let them through. Let's pull over to the side of the road gang. I always announce the sirens because that way if you're listening in the car, you won't think that it's a siren on your road. You're welcome. That is, I, yeah.

Very considerate, Taylor, thank you. The man doesn't even drive. Look at that. Wow. Doesn't even drive. But y'all drive me crazy. Thanks for listening. All this to say, I decided that rather than being frustrated with myself for being

unable to find the by-for and about stories that are about Chileans in Chile exclusively, I decided that maybe there is something about this geopolitical time that is pulling me toward investigating these stories of colonialism and sort of how inevitable, the folly of it, I guess. Yeah. So with that in mind, I bring you today's story, which is yet another sort of elaboration on this theme. Ooh. And it breaches territory that we've also tread before in that it is the story, effectively, of a micronation. Hey, love me a micro nation.

Josie, what's a micronation? A micronation can be defined as the following. Essentially a group of people who decide to kind of break away from another nation. And typically these micro, as the name implies, are much too small to... A guy or two. Six if you're thriving. Yeah. On like a pier at the end of a pier. You know, like that kind of thing. We've appropriated an oil rig in the Mediterranean. A floating island. We've constructed an island.

They are not self-sustaining whatsoever. It's a little bit more political theater. A shipwreck. We shipwrecked. A shipwrecked, yeah. When you scuttle a boat, you know. Episode 129, I think, or 128, a shipwreck away from Abilonia? Yeah. Sort of like archetypical micronation story from Joseph. Yeah. I'll show you a picture of the locale of this micronation, and I want you to just describe what you see.

Okay. And I will signpost right away that there are people in the middle of this having erected some sort of flag, and since we're in the discussion of micronations, I will tell you that this is a much-claimed piece of land, and it is not uncommon to see this vista in the context of someone raising a flag. Oh, okay. Well, it's more or less desert, sand, rocks, big blue sky. Beautiful, but doesn't look like the most, like, forgiving land if you were to say, like, want to do agriculture or something or set up a bunch of infrastructure, right? Yeah.

Yeah, or not die of exposure. The sand gets in all the sandwiches and stuff. Buzzards eat your eyeballs when you're trying to eat the hors d'oeuvres. Yeah, yeah. It sucks. If you had to guess, where are we? The Holy Land? Like, Jerusalem, Gaza.

You're not that far off. It's not religiously combative this. Well, yes and no. I'll get to it. I'll get to it. Like, big picture, yes, this exact piece of land. No, not really. We are Middle East, Middle East adjacent, but we're actually looking at Northern Africa. Oh, okay, okay. Let me tell you about an infamous piece of land in the African desert called Beer to Wheel. How do you spell that? B-I-R-S-T-A-W-L. Okay. Beer to wheel. Because I'm just, my dumb little brain is like, beer to wheel. Breesky.

Yeah, NASCAR. No, I got you. No, there is, I have seen people spell it B-E-E-R. So you're not that far off, but it's, I think, B-I-R. Okay. Space, T-A-W-I-L is the most common spelling. Okay, okay, cool. So just as a warning, part of today's episode will discuss the ongoing humanitarian atrocities in Sudan. And in that context, there will be descriptions of violence, war crimes, and sexual abuse.

Thank you. Let me take you in first. I'll take you in on Beartuil, which is this kind of patch of just, like, a long patch of rocky kind of slightly mountainous but very, very yellow and sandy desert that Josie just described. Okay. Beer to wheel lies on the border between Egypt and Sudan, although which country it does or does not belong to is a matter of heated debate between the two nations, each of which wants the other

country to take responsibility for it. Let me explain. Okay. So Josie, this one comes with a visual aid. I'm going to drop an image in the discord. I encourage anyone at home to just quickly Google like beer to wheel map and you'll get a bunch of maps that show you what is up with the borders here between Egypt and Sudan in a way that will be helpful to look at while I explain it to you now. So in the late 19th century, the United Kingdom

colonizes northeast Africa. To draw a boundary between Egypt and the North and Sudan and the South, in 1890, the Brits draw a straight line from west to east across the 22nd parallel north. However, this straight line ignores the geography of the tribes that actually live there, so after some complaints, the UK redraws the border across tribal boundaries in 1902. Mm-hmm. The redrawn border is still mostly a straight line, but its new zigs and zags result in two major differences. First, we get the creation of beer to wheel, an area of about 800 square miles, 2,060 square kilometers, unpopulated, like quote unquote, unpopulated,

but for the members of the nomadic ababda and Bishari tribes, which to me counts as populating an area, but why let that get in the way of an adventure? American sources always like to compare foreign stuff to the size of U.S. states. So for you, my Yankee doodle friend, beer to wheel is about the size of Delaware. Okay.

And then so how many American football fields is that? Oh, they didn't say it. They measured it in square big max. Yeah. They measured it in like predatory student loan debt. Right, yeah. Medical bells, you know. Yeah, all the very recognizably American.

Yeah, emblems of America. Yeah, Betzy Ross, woo. Yeah. Additionally, the redrawn border also results in the creation of the Haleib Triangle, a resource-rich 20,580 square kilometer territory near the Red Sea with a population of about 27,000. So, Josie, looking at that map, you can see the Halaib Triangle there. Yeah.

And it's right on the Red Sea, right? Like, right up against. snug up against the coast. Yeah, it has a considerable coastline. Yeah. Now, both Egypt and Sudan want the Halib triangle and both assert sovereignty over the area, though it's currently administrated by Egypt. I think Sudan pulled out in like 2000, but they still very much claim that it's theirs.

Okay. Since both nations want the Halib Triangle, both recognize the version of their border that includes the triangle in their respective territory. For Egypt, that means acknowledging the 1899 version of the border, which gives them the Halib Triangle and gives beer to wheel to the same. Sudanese. For Sudan, it means acknowledging the 1902 mat, which gives them the halib triangle, but gives beer to wheel to the Egyptians. Okay. So everyone wants this other thing. Well, you can have that. You take that. No, you take it. No, you take it. No, you take it. You'll be

better at taking care of that. What if I take care of the halib? Because I've got more resources and dude, beer to wheel. Come on. I'm, I wish I had beer to wheel. Yeah, that one's going to be nice. That's good. Spring. Wow. So this means effectively that if either nation, claims Beertuel, they're surrendering the much more strategically valuable Haleib Triangle to the other country. Yeah. As a result, neither country claims Beirtweil rendering it terra nullius, a legal term meaning no man's land.

Land unclaimed by any existing sovereign nation. Dot, dot, dot, dot, so far. Now, Josie, let me introduce you to a man named Jeremiah Heaton. Ooh, I'm ready. Jeremiah? Jeremiah. Jeremiah, he's the star of the King of North Sudan, a 2021 documentary directed by Danny Abel, or Abel A, B, E.E.L. He is an inventor and a former U.S. Army combat engineer who grew up in the great state of Georgia. At some point, he moves to the exotic locale of Abingdon, Virginia. A quaint historical town of about 8,500. He's dabbled in civic politics, serving on the board of supervisors for Virginia's Cumberland County District 5, and how much. Having run for Congress in Virginia's ninth district came in third after that kind of two major parties.

Three ain't bad. That's great. I think it was three out of three. Well, you know? He beat the write-ins. Yeah. That's great. Uh-huh. As the documentary team finds him in 2013, he's living in Abingdon and he's recently

received a buyout from the mining company where he'd been employed. While his wife Kelly is working, completing her doctorate and raising the kids, six-year-old Emily and teens Justin and Caleb. So she's doing a lot. Enjoying his free time. Okay. Lots and lots and lots of free time. Jeremiah.

He's following his muse. You can make a P.B. and J too. Come on. You got this. Yeah, peanut butter and Jeremiah. Oh, did you kids want one? That's, yes, okay. That seems like that's what happened. Kelly, make him a P v. and J. December 2013, Jeremiah gets his daughter, Emily Heaton, an American girl doll. That most treasured emblem of childhood. Do you ever have an American? I did have an American girl doll.

Tell me about her. They were very popular in my class. Of course, I was like, I have to have one. And I got mine kind of late. Everybody else had theirs, and I had like played with them. I'm like, whoa, I want one. Wow. Somebody, I'm going to be an American girl.

Exactly. And they came with books. Yeah, that was like, here's how this American girl escaped slavery, right? Like, stuff like that. Exactly. And I read Addy Walker's book. Oh, you had the book? one that escaped slavery. I had Addy, yes. Sick. At the time. Good for her. No, I don't shame you for that. Good for her.

She fucking escaped slavery. Yeah, no. Why I selected her is because I read a few of the stories and she just had the most compelling story. You're like, she has an arc. These other bitches are, you live in a hotel in New York, cool. I was like, Molly's cool. Samantha's fine. But I was like, Addy, she lived in like the worst moment of the American history storybook thus far and still looking fly in her feet. Still standing. Yeah. Yeah, that was my doll because she had the best story. Sweet. And then very shortly after like the next season or whatever, the next like big selling thing, they started selling Josefina, their first Mexican American. That's a match me in heaven. But I had already gotten one and I would like, that was my, that was my quota. I had met my quota. Got it. What happened to her in the end? Where is she now?

She's in a bankers box in my mom's garage. Wow. Get her. You have to help. Get her. Go get her. I know. She fucking escaped sleep for you.

I know. I know. You have her in a bankers box in your house garage? Shame on you. Be better. Be better. So while playing with this American girl doll, Emily asked.

Which one was it? What did she ask? I know. I'm so sad that I don't have that answer for you. I was trying to glaze past it and hope you didn't notice that I didn't actually know. No. Absolutely not. Shit.

We didn't see the girl. We didn't. see the American girl. Okay. She asks, dad, could I ever be a princess? Jeremiah, a parent from Charlie in the chocolate factory. Who can't make a PB&J? Yeah, who can't make a PB&J. Assures his daughter that if you want to be a princess baby, I'll make you a princess. So he starts looking into setting up a new sovereign monarchy. So he can be a king. And consequently, Emily can be. What? I just, does this not follow? What do you not, what are you not pick enough? I'm just, I'm thinking of Kelly right now. I'm just, she's so tired. Like, she...

Kelly. Kelly. Kelly is braver than the troops, dude. Kelly is white knuckling it through some of this. She's like, honey, I made your favorite lunch. Well, dad's getting me a princess ship, so you never did anything for me. Well, I'm giving you a stable home life. No.

So Jeremiah's internet research digs up Pacific Islands, Antarctica, and finally, beer to wheel. fascinated Jeremiah jumps through the necessary hoops to travel to Egypt where there is much civil unrest at the time but that's a footnote when there's land to be claimed. What year is this? Arab Spring generally. Oh shit. Like 20, hold on a second. Let me make sure I'm not getting that wrong.

2011-ish. No, no, okay. It's 2014. So a little bit after. A little bit. Shortly after the Arab Spring. Yeah. He grows a beard though, so you know.

So I'll blend in. Win in Rome, you know. There you go. I'm going to Cairo. He flies into Cairo, then travels to Hergada, down Marsalam and to the Berenice military base, an Egyptian army outposts 90 kilometers north of the Halib triangle. It's on that map there. It's labeled. Oh, okay. The next morning, on June 16th, 2014, Princess Emily's seventh birthday, Heaton and his guide traveled to the desert in Beard-to-Wil.

There, Heaton plants the flag of what he calls the Kingdom of North Sudan. Not of Sudanese extraction. Right. Not of Sudanese. Of any name. There's not a drop of anything other than tapioca, and this guy's blood. line. Let me tell you something. You know it might be a good name for this new nation, Jeremiah? What's that? Kelly. Name it Kelly. Why don't you name it Kelly? It's just a small... Name it Emily at least. Oh, my God. What an idiot. So he plants the flag, which this later, he will end up commemorating this on like a silver and a gold coin that are minted with him raising the flag as sort of the

hero image on like the currency. You know, we must have the currency. We must have the passport. Must have the cryptocurrency. You know, these sorts of things. Yeah, all that. Mm-hmm. The flag is blue with a gold crown and three white stars, surprisingly tasteful as DIY nation-state flags go. Although Heaton does note that he forgot to bring a flagpole, so he had to rustle up some old scaffolding to do the job. Oh, I was going to say, it was very long in that photo you provided. That's not the picture.

I'll show you this picture. Oh, show me that picture. This is sort of the iconic image of Jeremiah Heaton raising the flag of his new nation. in the Kingdom of North Sudan. Vanilla land would work too. Like there's a lot. Like dad land. You know, I don't know.

Cargo pant canyon. Wrist watch, gulch. Oh my gosh. This guy, oh. Living his dream. Living his dream. How dare you imply that this is out of anything except for his daughter? Oh, oh, yes.

Yes. Are you calling this a quest for personal glory because I take objection to that? Absolutely not. No. No. Selfless. Thank you. Selfless.

Thank you. Selfless stuff. I have never. I have never seen a more selfless act. So he snaps a pick and when he arrives home, he does what all selfless people do. He posts the picture on Facebook for his friends and family to enjoy. This is back when he still posted things on Facebook primarily. So did he, sorry, he didn't purchase this land or anything, right?

He just went there and for the flag. It's free real estate.com. It's free real estate. Okay. I mean, did he sign any pay? I guess. With who? Nobody wants it.

Nobody owns this. It's mine. Okay. Whose papers? With Egypt? Egypt doesn't want it. With Sudan? Sudan doesn't want it. Do they know that I'm here and that I exist? And would they probably appreciate knowing that if they did? We don't need to talk about that. That's a minor detail. We've got coins to mint. Look at this flag! So the post sparks flames of interest that quickly become a roaring inferno. The local paper picks it up, then the Associated Press. The story goes globally viral. And soon the self-titled King Jeremiah is

being interviewed on TV and welcoming CNN into his home. Oh, wow. Jeremiah laps all the attention up with wife Kelly describing him as a kid in a candy store. Uh, just taking land, taking candy. Don't kid. Taking hearts. Taking hearts. Yeah.

Yeah. So true. Taking photos of me raising this flag. Finally, no less than Disney buys the life rights to Jeremiah's story with Morgan Spurlock of Super Size Me Infamy attached to direct or produce or something. Okay. Weird. But yeah, wow.

It wasn't then. It wasn't then. One, he was still alive at the time. And number two, he was a big name. Yeah, okay, okay. So. I'm also just thinking, like, what's the, what's the picture? What's the hook?

Is it, like, loving dad? Baby girl wants to be a princess, so dad moves the earth to go and find the one unclaimed piece of land. It can be an island for the movie. It doesn't need to be. Yeah. We'll cut out all this pesky colonial implications. It'll just be somewhere that someone had just never touched.

Yeah. It's Floriana, right? It's the Galapagos of him. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Now, as you might imagine, a big white American guy from Abingdon, Virginia coming to Africa to plant a flag and declare a monarchy, didn't go over well with some of the more woke spectators, who accused Heaton of propagating the colonial pillaging of Africa and the Disneyfication of foreign cultures. If I were to say that phrase, the Disneyfication of foreign cultures, what does that suggest to you? Kind of boiling a culture down to its most agreeable elements and maybe doing a little, like, plating of. them in sexual way that it's appetizing to an American audience.

Back episode 72 or something, I'm getting again worse and worse with the numbers, but it's early 70s. You did that episode Finding the Groove about the Creation of the Emperor's New Groove, which is very much set, it's like in the Andes and it draws on Inca culture, right? Yeah. Again, a very Disney-fied version of it, and you kind of talk about that Disneyification process and like how the sausage is made in that episode. It's a very good episode, go back and listen. It has everything to do with sort of this idea.

Yeah. Heaton is hurt to be painted as culturally insensitive, insisting that he grew up in a megachurch that sponsored all people from around the world for American Citizenships. Yeah. Quote, if you deviate even slightly from what is the socially accepted left-leaning narrative of the way the world should be, then it shouldn't exist. I have never once viewed this world through any type of racial lens. Color, I don't see it.

I don't see it. Who said that? You're all transparent. Where are you? What is this? Who am I? No, for real. So, obviously, this.

movie is highly edited and any kind of hammy subject of a documentary is performing a little bit. So I don't flatter myself to think that I've seen the depths of this man's true heart. I think that when he thinks about racism, he's thinking about it in and I hate someone because of the color of their skin way when really this is like the racism of coming and blithely seizing resources that are not yours to seize. Right. So they're kind of, I guess, larger, more structural. Well, it's redolent of the history of Africa. Yeah. There's a clip of him in this documentary talking to the host of the podcast reveal,

who's a guy named Al Letson, who really tries to explain it to him to his face. Like, I thought, like, quite respectfully. So no one can say that this guy didn't hear it. Yeah. And he says something to the effect of, to think about the actions you've taken without looking at it through the lens of history is problematic. And I think that problematic is one of those words like triggered or something that got a bad rap somewhere along the way from like overuse or too intense use. But I think that like this is a perfect example of like

it's problem. I'm not saying you're evil, but there's a problem with the way that you're thinking here. Like you don't seem to understand what other people's problem is with this, but you don't really seem willing to hear it either. I love that word problematic too because it also implies like a big math problem. It's like, no, it's just that there's a lot of different elements. We have to reduce the variables, dude. Yeah, there's just a lot of things that you're not seeing. in the equation. The equation is much bigger. It's a bigger math problem than you think. Right. And so speaking of it being a bigger math problem than you think, I think that by all means, we should take Al Letson up on his logic and look at it through the lens of this area's colonial

history. Yeah. Egypt's colonial history has been relatively well documented on bittersweet infamy, but in short, the Brits took over the country, took over the Suez Canal, and took all of Egypt's national treasures and sacred remains under the guise of archaeological curiosity. That sounds familiar. Yep. By 1922, nationalist sentiment had grown so strong within Egypt that the UK declared Egyptian independence. But the Brits kept their influence in the area until 1956 when Egypt became a republic and attained a more formal kind of independence. So wait, the UK declared?

Unilaterally, yeah. They're like, you guys are independent. But it was like maybe to stop the tide of something more revolutionary from happening. Gotcha. A few months after Egypt declares proper independence. Like, no, no, we're independent. Republic in 1956, a few months after that, the UK, along with France and Israel, invaded Egypt to regain control over the Suez Canal. The attempt was wildly unpopular diplomatically and the three

invading countries were forced to withdraw. 1956 is also the year that Sudan, which had previously been administered jointly by the UK and Egypt, gained its own independence. Okay. Unfortunately, years of colonial rule had resulted in deeply entrenched resentments between the ethnic groups of Sudan. The wealthier, majority, Arab and Muslim population of the northern region, and the marginalized Christians and animists of the less developed southern region. As a result, the country has spent much of its independent existence

embroiled in a series of civil wars that have devastated the local population in innumerable ways, and continue to. The first Sudanese civil war took place over nearly two decades from 1955 to 1972, and the second Sudanese civil war lasted 22 years from 1983 to 2005, so even longer. The second of these wars killed an estimated 2 million people, including the genocide in Darfur, which killed 300,000 members of non-Arab populations, including the four, the Zagawa and the Masalit peoples of Western Sudan, and brought to power the dictator Omar al-Bashir, who implemented strict Islamic Sharia law, enforced with private militias and morality police, and persecuted religious minorities, including Christianity, Shiism, and Sunni apostates.

In 2011, the southern area of the country seceded and became its own nation, the Republic of South Sudan. And I think this is why perhaps I find the nomenclature of the kingdom of North Sudan offensive. Yeah. Because we will get into it more, not egregiously, but honestly, the atrocities that have been committed in the name of these conflicts. And I think to like become your own nation at that time is such a daring and hard fought thing to do to be South Sudan. And then you've got this schmuck, no disrespect. I mean, kind of disrespect, kind of a schmuck coming up and be in North Sudan. Just like kind of parachuting in because his little girl. made an offhanded comment that she probably forgot the next night, but he just, like,

focused in on it because, like, I guess this will prove him a good dad or, uh, I don't know. He didn't want to learn how to, you know, make the Peebh and eventually regulate. Yeah. In 2019, a military coup seemed to end Omar al-Bashir's reign and push Sudan toward democracy, but the leaders of the coup, Sudanese Armed Forces General Abdel Fata al-Burhan and militia leader Mohammed Hamadhi Degalo of rapid security forces orchestrated another coup against the democratically elected Prime Minister, Abdallah humdok, and suspended the Constitution. This led to the suspension of international aid to Sudan,

and as of the writing of this episode, there is no de facto civilian government in Sudan. Since then, the SAF and the RSF, the armed forces and this militia have fallen into conflict with innocent civilians frequently and unjustly paying the price. I'm going to start talking about that price now, so this is going to be, you know, among the more intense parts of the episode.

Throughout the country's existence, the people of Sudan have been subject to horrific atrocities. Famine, massacres, ethnic cleansing. There's evidence that women and girls have been victims of sexual violence committed by the RSF militia. In March 24, UNICEF reported accounts of armed men sexually assaulting infants. United Nations humanitarian and emergency relief chief Martin Griffiths described the situation in Sudan as, quote, one of the worst humanitarian nightmares in recent history. Yeah. Continuing the quote, civilians, particularly in Khartoum,

Darfur and Kordofan have known no respite from bloodshed and terror. Horific reports of rape and sexual violence continue to emerge and clashes are increasingly taking place along ethnic lines, particularly in Darfur. This cannot go on. In the present tense, the people of Sudan continue to suffer unjustly, despite being one of the largest countries in the continent in terms of area, 1.9 million square kilometers or 734,000 square miles, and population, 46 million. And despite being rich in resources like oil and gold, Sudan is one of the world's poorest nations. In 2022, the average annual income of a Sudanese person was $750 U.S. dollars. Since then, with the conflict renewed in

2023, the Sudanese finance minister said state revenues had shrunk by 80%. Since 2023, an estimated 150,000 people have died. 14 million more have been displaced from their homes, and over 30 million, two-thirds of the country's population, acquire humanitarian assistance to overcome the largest hunger crisis on record. 80% of emergency food kitchens have been forced to close, and 3.7 million children under five face severe malnutrition. Despite this, the crisis is little covered in world media with Amnesty International calling the global response woefully inadequate and UN Health Chief Tedros adhanum Gebreyesos saying, I think race is in the play

here. So sort of coming back to the like, okay, what is the history of this region? Yeah. And what is the current history in the world of, even if it's not, I hate you because of the color of your skin, And it's like, why are you doing this? Yeah. You know? Yeah. Understanding like the role of, I guess, like, colonialism and foreign interference in making this hour, perhaps not knowing that, right?

Perhaps not knowing that history. Yeah. There's more to it than that. But for right now, I'll say, if you want to donate, which I highly, highly encourage, because holy fucking shit, let's all rally around this cause, you can donate to uniseph for kids in Sudan and the United Nations Refugee Agency is also collecting money for this. Okay. It tends to be, I gather, like, kind of these big foreign bodies administering these funds.

Yeah. Says Sudanese activist Omar El Niam. What's happening in Sudan right now isn't just news. It's human lives, families, and dreams being torn apart. While much of the world scrolls past, millions of innocent people are suffering. We can share, speak up, and remind the world that Sudan matters. One last important note, since we're talking about foreign powers interfering in Sudan, many countries have been accused of manufacturing and supplying arms to the conflict in Sudan to further their own ends,

including Serbia, Russia, China, Turkey, Yemen, the United Arab Emirates, and Iran, all countries named to deny the allegations. So, when I tell you this wacky story about a starry-eyed American bumbling his way through the creation of a micro-state to make his baby girl a princess, a schmuck. Remember that we're talking about an area whose tragic history has been dictated by the meddling of self-interested outside actors and whose plight has been ignored because global media would broadly rather focus on stories of guys like Jeremiah Hayton. Welcome in CNN. Kelly made some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Yeah, we can't wait for this story to get out. Yeah, yeah. Meanwhile, Darfur is horrifically underreported. There's a genocide happening, right? So, are you ready to get back into some wacky comedy? Whoa, yeah. Because, because these stories give us horrific tonal whiplashes but that we have no choice but to cope with as storytellers.

But seriously, if you got a little bit of money, which I know not a lot of us do right now, consider donating to this cause. Unisphra Kids in Sudan, United Nations Refugee Agency. And if you find that something sucks about them, find someone else that you back and donate there. But like, Christ, let's help if we can. So in the end, enough fuss gets kicked up

with the change.org types that Disney decides to cancel the project. The movie about your life, let's make a day's little girl happy, a princess. A Disney princess, right? Yeah. He could have made her a Disney princess. God bless America.

That's leaps and bounds beyond just a princess, a Disney princess. Wow. Oh, no, he over-delivered there. Big disappointment for Jeremiah, but he's still got other backers to swoon. All kinds of people call him offering their enthusiasm, their expertise, and occasionally their life savings. Oh. There's enough interest that Jeremiah finally takes the next step of any aspiring king.

He sets up an Indiegogo page, offering tiered rewards for investors. Yeah, and when you're this tier, you can watch the film club. Yes, three dollars and you can be... Well, let's see, let's see what kinds of little perks Jeremiah is offering here. What are these incentives? Let's see. Every little bit helps as we try to drum up the $505.5 million. Speculated, this project will need to burn through over five years of building. So five years feels optimistic.

So if you're willing to part with a tiny bit of your discretionary income, you can earn the following prizes. Is this, like, from, is this, is this, are these quotes? From his Indiegogo page. Oh my God. From his Indiegogo page. No, no, that was, what I was just saying was just me fucking, but, but, you know how I am. Okay, okay. But these rewards are legit. Okay, that was my question. I thought, okay, okay. Yeah, the rewards are legit. So according to the website. $15. $15. $15 gets me. Bumper sticker. Oh. This bumper sticker says H-2-4 T-M-R-W. So H-2-4 tomorrow. There's a water thing happening. that I'll explain to you shortly.

Okay. We're going to take an environmentalist bent. You know what I mean? Some convenient truths. $20. What is my $20? My $20 bill give me. Baseball cap.

Flag. Flag emblem. Whoa. $25. What do you think $25 will get you? Oh, man, a tote? No. A jacket?

A visor. T-shirt. A t-shirt. T-shirt. T-shirt. Jackets, you know, a little too high up. Visor, I feel like visor is probably like a $20. Yeah.

T-shirt for $25. Kind of a steal, but you can see the era that we were in. Also for $25, if you prefer, honorary title. You know, be a lord or lady of North Sudan. $25, that's it? How about this? $200. Okay.

Court Jester. Why would... Tra la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la no? You wear the little hat with the bells. Okay, imagine like your family Christmas and you have to buy a gift for Corey. What do you do? You shell out 200 bucks and you get him like official documentation of being a fucking clown.

And he opens a for the entire family. Like, it is, it's just like, oh my God. You're a certified bozo. Yes.

Here. That is, that is the story of that gift. Yes. Of that donation. Yeah. I have not seen that Gannayan movie poster since I gave it to him.

So I'll stop getting my ideas from the podcast for gifts. I thought it was sick. Whatever. It was. It was. Thank you. Thank you. Fucking.

Batman with a guy's head dripping blood? That was amazing. Yeah. $300. Don't want to be a court jester? How about a knighthood? How about sir? Yeah. Or dame? I guess like maybe you could be a sir? Lady. Lady. Or maybe Dane. Yeah, like a lordship or will, you know? Dame Judy Dengch? Dame Judy Densh of North Sudan. Yeah. You change your name to Judy Dengch. I think you get your damehoodhood. And then you make everybody call you Dame Judy Densh, DijD. These ones I didn't see on the Indiegogo page, but I saw them refer... I saw them referred to in, like, obscure news articles.

Oh, okay. Presumably these, if these weren't on the table, he was at least like freestyling him to a reporter at some point. Right. $2,500. Okay. Torment the king by subjecting him to 48 hours of continuous Justin Bieber music. What? Did I fucking stutter?

I don't know how to make that clear. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That was, it was like baby era Justin B. Or no, maybe a little, maybe Beauty and a Bair era, Justin Biber. I don't remember when Bieber came up. That is such a cargo panted dad thing. A sign of the times, perhaps. I also, if I was like a mad billionaire, I would give this guy like $500,000 and just stack

all of those $2,500 on 48 hours of Bieber. Oh. You know? So he had to do like nine straight months of Bieber. Yeah. Yeah. And so he would snap, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Yeah, that's a good use of money right there. If you're willing to donate a cool $1.5 million. Oh, my God, oh my God, oh my God. Naming rights for future international airport. That's it? The Josie and Batman Mitchell Airport of North Sudan. How about it? That's it.

And how much did he pay for this land? Nerthing. Nothing. There's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, payment. Nobody needs to be paid. It's free real estate. Oh my god. Naming rights to the inner. Oh, God. One point seven million. This is the highest, the highest one that I could find. If you're willing to drop a cool 1 million and 750,000 clamoroonies on this little quadrangle in the desert, you get naming rights for the capital city. How about them apples? Wow. Yeah. So I'm putting you down for a t-shirt. is what I'm hearing.

Got it, got it. $20, please, $25. Yeah, yeah. Credit where credit is due, Jeremiah managed to whip up $10,638 from interested investors, which equals out to 53.19 court gestures. The other thing that you get a chance to look at on this Indiegogo page, or at least you used to be able to when the video was live, is the video that is the whole pitch, the whole package to pitch this.

And now in the present day that's gone down, it's gone kind of private, but it is depicted in part in the movie, the King of North Sudan. And I'd like you to just watch this. Okay. Please, let me grab it. Set me up. Set me up. Okay, I'm hitting play now. Now, I'm no Rockefeller and I'm no Carnegie.

I couldn't afford to buy my daughter in your royalty. So I did the next miss thing. I scoured the globe trying to find a piece of land that was not claimed by any government. nation, poor people. Now, for most people, this fantastic journey would end there. But Emily was asked a simple question, what should be done with this land? The answer she gave changed everything. She said, we should grow a garden big enough to feed everyone.

In that moment, I knew the direction of the kingdom of what Sudan should take. And fighting global hunger is just the beginning. Oh, okay. An insincere man runs for Congress in a red state. Kind of vibes? Yes, yes, yeah, yeah. Now, I'm no Rockefeller, and I'm no Carnegie. Carnegie.

I'm just a hayloft. I just chuck hay over here, and then I go and pick it up, and I chuck it back. Like a good American man. My daughter's spinning in circles out in the field. She's taking care of herself. Yeah, yeah, no one's around there. Spenidded. It's so cloying to use his daughter, you know, like, ugh. But she's part of the creation myth. She's part of the, she birthed the idea. Princess Emily. Notionally, this is all for her.

And I really want to flag like, how noble the stated goals are here. And I want you to like keep track of how much he's willing to compromise on those goals to see this through. Ending world hunger. It starts here. And nothing less. We're starting at ending world hunger. Yeah. Eventually we find our way down to like, will this person give me money? Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh yeah. Without given too much away. We all know. No spoilers, really. So as you can see, King Jeremiah at the behest of Princess Emily now has a more refined

vision for beer to wheel. A philanthropic ecotopia with an agricultural research center and the infrastructure to provide neighboring communities with renewable energy. In the desert. Okay. Water is intermixed with this. Food is intermixed with this, all of the above. This is the Obama era after all. and the optimism is going to last forever. Yes, we can. Yes, we can.

Cesar Pueh. Jeremiah goes to the U.S. State Department. Mr. Obama's very own U.S. State Department to chat logistics, but they tell him that they're not going to recognize the Kingdom of North Sudan until it gains wider acceptance from its neighboring countries. Amen, that's a good policy. So Jeremiah brings on board a dream team of interested speculators. including private security contractor, Wyn Schill, bookmark him.

He comes in very important in the climax later on. But like, not at all until then, so just like keep him in the back of your mind. Consultant Doug Brooks, who envisions North Sudan as the next Dubai or Singapore, a ritsy modern oasis metropolis. Yeah, great. Cool. Dream team, that one. Former Assistant Secretary of State for African Affairs Hank Cohen. Oh.

Not just the Secretary of State, not just the Assistant. Secretary of State, the former assistant. A lot of titles, this man. Yeah. But I have to say a little bit more legit than what we've been dealing with, so. How about this? Pentagon Africa specialist Pete Orth, who says of African diplomacy, quote, it's my passion.

It's my purpose. God put me on the planet to make Africa a better place. Oh, wow. Aggressive approach. Let's see how it plays out. Oh, God. Jeremiah Heaton spends the next several years and the remainder of the documentary, pitching his big vision to various potential investors, although the clarity of that vision seems

negotiable. Ending world hunger, I can tell you that. Sure, but, you know, it would be nice. Listen, hey. Emily has a shovel, and so we're ending world hunger. Yeah, she patting that dirt in. She plants a few more of those and we're going to be set. We're ready. It would be nice if we were able to feed the hungry or provide energy for the under-resourced. Yeah.

But this would also make a great airstrip or location for a militant. base. We could mine gold, lots of gold in Sudan, and maybe a free trade zone. Princess Emily loves free trade. Or, hey, this could be a massive internet hub. We can make this the Silicon Valley of Africa. And all we'd need is a cool 500K to several million to several hundred million dollars. It basically builds itself. What do you say? Sign on the dotted line. Shake here. I'll get a bumper sticker for $15. That's one more plant for Emily to put in the damn ground. So we're good. Every bit. counts. Thank you. In 2016, the year of our Lord, King Jeremiah gets a nibble. He employs the admittedly

quite ingenious strategy of Googling recently retired U.S. military generals who have started their own companies as projects to avoid finally fixing that leaky pipe their wife has been nagging them about for the past 25 years. Following this logic, Jeremiah goes to a Middle East security conference in Washington, D.C., where he speaks to the recently retired Lieutenant General Mike Flynn, who expresses interest in Jeremiah's vision of leasing land in North Sudan to the U.S. military. Does that name mean anything to you, Lieutenant General Mike Flynn? It sounds recognizable, but it might be... Distantly familiar, right?

Yeah, yeah, bringing... If you had to peg it, where does it come... Put a dart. Bush administration? Oh, we were looking for Trump. Oh, okay, okay. So no history and absolutely no credentials. Got you. Okay, yeah.

He's one of those people who's like, Wikipedia's page says, party, Democratic, 19 mid-century to 2021, Republican, 2021 onwards. Yeah, okay. Showouts to my girl, Telsie Gabbard. I hope you find a job soon. The mineral companies are hiring up here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know a girl who can get you in.

Fortune's crests when Flynn throws his weight behind underdog outsider Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential election, Trump wins and names Flynn as a national security advisor. Fortune's Wayne when 20 days later Flynn resigns from his post is the shortest serving National Security Advisor ever and is subsequently prosecuted for making false statements to the FBI about his relationship with Russia. What, what, wah. Back to the drawing board for King Jeremiah. I hate that. I hate that when that happens. He got scaramuccied, you know?

Oh, what a bitch. He got nine days on scare. Scaramucci was 11 days. This guy got nine days. Okay. 20 days. Pretty good. 20 days.

Yeah. In 2017, Jeremiah travels to Beijing to negotiate with the China-era peace development group, who apparently invested $2 billion for road infrastructure in war-torn Syria. Yeah. So, an optimistic Jeremiah expects, quote, at least $100 million, if not more. China at that time, and still is heavily invested in Africa. When my mom lived in Tanzania, all of the road projects, all the infrastructure, sewer, water, all of that were Chinese companies.

And opportunities and opportunity. Yep. Don't sleep on Africa. Yeah. As we see throughout this story, money to be made, unfortunately. In Africa, as there is everywhere else and no shortage of if you're charitable, misguided, if you're not, like, extractive and greedy and racist type of people, right? Fun, yeah. In his first meeting with Peace Development Group representative Quinn Yang Karim, that's Q-U-I-N,

my Chinese, not that good. Keaton tells Yang, through his translator, I'm excited to try real authentic Chinese food. I've always loved food with ginger. When I eat a salad, I was put ginger dressing on the salad. That kind of turned into George W. Bush. I'm just sliding into presidents. No, but it's, I've watched the video. There's a little bit of that.

You're not wrong. While Jeremiah fumbles the China opportunity, wife Kelly holds down the fort in Virginia, working, raising the kids, completing her doctoral dissertation in what I don't think we ever find out. Okay. But she ends up completing it by the end of the film. So good for her.

What a fucking queen. Yeah, Jesus. Divorce him, queen, but don't, like, if you love, listen, I love love. It's, yeah. She says, she says of Jeremiah's fantastical project, quote, it's not that I don't care, but I don't have the mental capacity to deal with all of that and everything I have to deal with. I mean, I respect a single parent who does their job and does it well because it's not easy, and I only do it part time.

Oh my God. Pouring out for Kelly. The patriarchy, man. You don't, you need a late in life lesbian turn, sweetheart. Find some nice, like, Butch Asian woman who will take care of you. You know? Treat you like the queen you are.

I love that as a response. It's not that I don't care. But I don't have the mental capacity to deal of all with that. Oh, my God. And all that I have to deal with. Oh, no. Oh. In 2018, four years after planting the flag and beard wheel,

King Jeremiah is still pursuing his dream and he still does not have full-time employment. although he does dabble in long-haul trucking and growing hemp for CBD oil. Oh, okay. That's fun. Yeah, sure. One day, Jeremiah gets an email from a guy named Joseph said, quote, not quote, but he says, lack the word said, S-A-A-D. Or, Saeed.

Well, I don't know. Listen. Who knows? Like the word said. Like the word said. Like I said. Like I said, it's Joseph said. Yeah.

Representing the Mingway Heritage Fund, a group of investors out of Thailand who are interested in the North Sudan project. They offered a pay for Jeremiah's flight out to discuss ideas, and after verifying that they actually exist and actually are paying for the flight, Jeremiah is on the next plane over. We see him preparing for this meeting on the flight by playing Pac-Man. He's just really... Focusing it. He's going to eat them up like the pellets, right? Yeah, yeah.

This is brain training. This is Nicole Kimman loves this shit. Yeah. Okay. She loves it. She loves it. She keeps her young. Nicole Kidman?

Yeah. She did like commercials for Nintendo Brain Age where she was like, this shit keeps me young, basically. Oh, cute. It was like, imagine the AMC movie, but it's, you know what, this is the world's deepest of hole. Nobody remembers this dude. There's like one, there's one homosexual out there who remembers this too, I'm sure, but that's it.

So Joe said, Joseph said, aka Saeed, aka he said, he's an Australian guy. Jeremiah's first impression of him is like, I thought he'd be taller than me. I don't know why I thought that, but I expected him to. be taller, but he's shorter than me. Okay. So he's reading the situation, right? Like, he's using his powers of observation. Really, really careful, concentrated reads. Yeah. Yeah. I also want to say that he is very clearly, secretly, secretly filming all of his interactions for the documentary in a way that he outright states that he believes to be very subtle,

but, like, cannot possibly have been. No. He's, like, recording all of his meetings. The whole time I was thinking, like, if an investor were to, like, find out and acknowledge this on, like, you'd be, like, toast. Like, that's the deal over. Yeah. That's secretly recorded. You were done. You're creepy. What's this?

That's so inappropriate. Yeah. From his hidden camera in the back of a limo leaving the Bangkok airport, which is the locale where Bjork beat the shit out of that reporter. Memories. Better days. We see the Aussie, Joseph said, promise Jeremiah Heaton the world on a string. Oh, no. A hundred thousand staff worldwide at his.

back in call. Wow. I'm trying to sit you, your family, your grandchildren, and your great-grandchildren up for life. Without headaches. Live like the Queen of England. That, yeah. Said like that. I...

Joe said like that. Would want a blooming onion, but yeah. Fuck yeah. In addition to Joe, the Ming Wei team consists of project manager Sophia, who's like a youngish one. I put her in her late 20s, early 30s. Okay. And executive David, both Chinese.

And I get the sense that David's kind of the top of the change. here. Okay. Yeah. Jeremiah cheerfully observes that David is missing two fingers on his left hand, quote, because of some sort of accident. Powers of observation, very strong. Yes. Good job, Jeremiah. Yes. Jeremiah meets with the team and hears their plans for, essentially, and this isn't me saying this, this is how it gets expressed. Okay. Epcot in the desert. Wow. Okay, so we're just leaning in. We're missing Disney. We missed that contract. Talking llamas, man. Let's go. 80 to 100,000 people in a desert oasis divided into a German area, an Asian area, an Arab area, an American area. There would be replicas of the White House, the Forbidden City Palace, Graceland, all the shining landmarks of humanity.

Those selections like Asia, Germany. Like, it's like what? Graceland. Yeah. Wait, hold on. The scale seems off. So there's a finger on that scale. Who goes to North Sudan to go to Germany?

Yeah. What's the fun? What the fuck? Some hot wine? Like, what are we doing? I don't quite understand how that works. Jeremiah mentions that it would be an excellent tax haven and everyone's like, shut the fuck up, stupid, don't say that out loud.

Are you recording right now? Yes, your stupid fucking, your stupid fucking cell phone that we know is there. With a nibble on the line, Jeremiah immediately decides time to play hardball. Oh, yeah. I've got the upper hand. Yeah. They're being antagonistic. What's in those cargo pockets?

Come on, Jeremy. Let's see. Let's put him out. What's in your suit, Joe? Why are you so short? And Jeremiah demands $120,000 in salary a year or he walks, and he wants the first payment in his account within 72 hours. 72. That's so stupid. And specifically, the point is made that he's seen these, like, hot cars that they're all zipping around.

Yeah. He's got, like, a hottest fuck car. And he is getting, like, maybe a bit jealous or, like, feeling left out of the, but why are you collect, like, that classic thing, right? Yeah. Like, why do I have to give you 10%? Why do I have to give you 30%? You know, that kind of classic, like, you want.

This is my idea. You want it all. Yeah. Yeah. This was my land that I took. The regal King Jeremiah confidently waits for the Mingway team to come crawling back to him as he charges lavish dinners and hotel massages to the company. When the Mingway team finally meets with him, he asserts, we've had a lot of sizzle.

But it's time to eat some steak. Whoa, yeah. Them's fighting words. They know you're serious now, Jeremiah. Jeremiah walks away with $10,000 a month in perpetuity. Whoa. Okay. It's not 120 grand a year.

No, but that's $120,000 a year. If it's $10,000 a month. You're right. No, you're right. How did I not? I'm so bad at math. Yes. A victory.

A victory. And he's even a little smug about it. He bubbles over about his dreams and plans to quote his words, occupy the region. Ooh. So many words. There's so many words

in the English language, Jeremiah, so many words. And I see now why I might depict this guy a little bit as George W. Bush, because that's, occupy the region

is George W. Bush terminology. Yeah, yeah. Jeremiah also ate an onion in his early 20s. Yeah. Also choked under pretzel. Also dodged a shoe.

Oh, the great George W. Yeah. Mission accomplished. Strategory. Don't get fooled again. Fuzzy math. We thought he was going to be the stupidest worst man ever to be president. Remember?

He wasn't even the stupidest worst Republican. It's so true. Before any of this goes forward, Jeremiah needs to return to Bangkok to make it official. Sign on the dotted line. Okay, okay, okay. He very wisely brings along security consultant Wynne Sheel, who I told you remember him. He comes back to the climax. Well, here he is.

Oh, hello, Wyn, hello. And Wynne starts to notice a few red flags. Quote, it was like a bad movie where, they go in and they set up an office and do a sting operation and the next day you come back and the office is empty. That's kind of what it felt like. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. So he's walked into like this wee work. There's no plants here. There's like four folding chairs and he's like, mm, this is fucky. What's this? What is this? Okay. We start getting heated in our conversation about what are we going to do?

What are we going to do? And someone asks the question, what would you do if we set up shop in beer to wheel? in the kingdom of northern Sudan, quote unquote. And 500 terrorists came and, like, we're going to massacre everybody there. What would we do? And Winsheel says, I would be out. We would evacuate and we'd go away forever. Like, there's no amount of money that's worth that.

Yeah. Risk to our lives. Yeah. And Jeremiah, he begged to differ. He said, give me a gun and I'll take care of him myself is what he said. Yeah, he's no coward. Nope. He's no coward.

Emily loves her American girl doll, and that's really what this comes down to. Princess Emily signed off on this massacre of dissidents. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. In what is already the world's, like, greatest humanitarian atrocity, although it's a growing fucking list every day, sadly. But you know what, Taylor?

The kingdom of North Sudan is going to solve world hunger. We're going to do biodome with Polly Shore. Exactly. And that's going to be the ticket. And if you don't support that, then do you even love? your fellow neighbor? I think not. No. You're a horrible person. And that's really what this is about is like being neighborly.

Yeah. Good neighbors. So really understanding. People could look to North Sudan to like maybe be inspired. Yeah. And heal the wounds. Yeah. You know, maybe like an example of how to do things right. Right. It's so rotten. It's so it's so rotted. You know what I mean? Like the thinking is so rotted. But in ways that again, I don't think this man could perceive because he's like, oh, I don't hate people because of their culture. That means that I can't be like doing harm in a white guy way. You know what I mean which he very obviously is to me, but, you know, maybe someone listening

disagrees. I don't know, but yeah. Yeah. He, you know, that's what I think. And this kind of remark that Jeremiah makes about, like, give me an AK and watch me mo. That's kind of when the talk breaks down. It turns into, like, a huge argument between absolutely everyone. Oh, no. So, yeah and Joe, the Australian and the woman, they start screaming at each other. She starts crying. Joe starts packing his office. It like all fucking falls apart. And basically, sadly all of this happens. Like, we don't get to see the footage of this, which is really sad because it sounds very juicy.

Jeremiah thought he was recording, but he actually recorded everything before and after it. He was, yeah. The sound was off and he was recording his crotch. Yeah, exactly. It's five seconds long. Basically at this point, Joe said he flips on Ming Wei and he tells Jeremiah, everything. He digs up all the bodies. So the reason that David has two fingers missing from his hand, it wasn't an accident. He fucked up in China. And he's not a good dude. And at this point,

Joe said, becomes a talking head in this documentary. The Australian dude who they were like filming for you. He sits down. He's like, let me, let me just break it down for you, honestly. I'm just like crunching on a blue and onion while he's going. Yeah, yeah. This whole thing is a scam to sell fake passports to Chinese people for 20 grand a pop. Oh my God. Jeremiah is the dupe who opposes the king whose white face will lend the scam and the country legitimacy because that's how white supremacy works, right? Like, white privilege.

My dog, I have like firsthand account of that in China. Like I would have friends who would be approached to be like, could you be our company's president? You don't have to do anything. You just have to come for a day and sit at this desk. And it's like, why? I don't speak Chinese. I'm not in that industry.

and they're like, oh, you're a white guy. Just, come on. Jeez. Yeah. And says, Joe, in a population of 1.8 billion people, how hard is it to sell a couple thousand? And then you're set. Oh, my gosh. He's like, yeah, that was the scam.

He lays out the whole scam to the camera and to buddy to Jeremiah. And I'm sure it gets sold as like, China's investing in Africa, like come to this small, new country. Yep. We'll end world hunger. It'll be great. Biodombs, Polly Shore. everyone's like, hell yeah. Oh, wow. What I like about this is it recontextualizes a lot of what seem like maybe slightly asinine observations in the moment, but actually turn out to be like quite elegantly placed

foreshadowing about the fact that this guy is missing two fingers. Yeah. About the fact that they're all driving really flashy hot cars. Mm, right. But that's bait. They want you to want that money. Yeah. You're going to live like the Queen of England. Just do every, your great grandchildren are going to live like the Queen of England. Never have to sweat. Yeah. It was just a same. It was just a same thing. scam and they wanted him to kind of be the dupe. Part of the scam, yeah. Even knowing as he does, that this is a scam, and while he doesn't

say it outright, he must understand that he was intended as a fall guy. Yeah. Jeremiah still looking for ways to make it work. This, we could, we could, okay. It's only been on the ground for two seconds. If you pick it up, blow off the dirt. A fake passport. What if we build a thriving metropolis?

Monorail. Yeah. Monorail, Monorail. Yeah. And then And then it's not duping. It's not duping anybody into these passports. Then they get to be a citizen of the coolest country ever. We all wear cargo shorts. It's great. Yeah. Cargo pants in the desert.

Let it be known. Yeah. But I'm sure they zip off at the knees, you know, versatile. A versatile king. Quote, if I can take their dirty money and turn it into good things, then I'm going to do that. In the end, though, it's a rare W for common sense. Jeremiah and Wynn leave Thailand in a Mingway behind. Truly, a rare win.

Yep. When we next see Jeremiah, he is back home in Abingdon, harvesting hemp and nursing the ember of a new idea, self-driving, decentralized train cars. Yeah, good one. The documentary ends there, but the story does not. In 2018, Jeremiah convinces the Republic of Sudan to partner with him in the effort to develop beer to wheel. Okay. This is the first formal recognition from an existing, like, accepted nation of Heaton's efforts. and all it took was partnering with the government of one of Africa's most notorious and long-tenured dictators.

Yeah, easy. Peasy. Anything to make that little girl smile. Yeah, this one's for you, Emily. Unfortunately, parentheses, question mark, question mark, question mark, parentheses. The brutal 30-year regime of Omar al-Bashir is overthrown in 2019, and it's basically the Mike Flynn situation all over again. New owner wants to change the layout, so beer to wheel is no longer on the floor plan. Yeah.

In 2020, the FBI contacts Jeremiah while investigating the Mingwei group. According to Jeremiah, no arrests are made, and the case is closed. In 2021, American and Saudi investors give Jeremiah Heaton $5 million to fund his concept of a self-driving train. The end card of the documentary notes that Jeremiah's company, A2B Robotics, is valued at $1.7 billion. Although, given that the website promises that it's coming in winter 2025, I have my doubts. He says, in summer 2026. I ain't fucking heard of them. Yes, exactly.

This is such a story of today. It's like, oh, what's the stupidest idea? Okay, billions of dollars. Let's go. I don't know enough about the logistics of self-driving chains or even truly what is meant by that to comment. Like, in my head, I'm like, do they have tracks? Or is this a, like, what are we doing here? fair, but also this is Jeremiah, who's like, oh, fake passports, a scam. But what if?

He's an inventor. One never knows. One never knows. Yeah, yeah. You got that Obama optimism right there. So, so that's a wrap on the King of North Sudan, but it's not the whole story. By focusing in on Jeremiah, the film ignores the other claims made on the Terranelius of Beer to Wheel. Yeah. In November 2017, Indian tech CEO, Suyash Dixit claimed the land as the kingdom of Dixit, planting a flag, much as He didn't before him. He also planted sunflower seeds as a traditional way of claiming the land, said King Suyash. After returning, I wrote an online petition to the UN informing them about my claim and requesting recognition, although I am not very optimistic that they will reply.

No. However, in just a day's time, I have received support for more than 800 people for my claim, so it might just happen. Apparently at first his parents were furious. Quote, however, it did not last long as I made my father the president of the kingdom. Now everybody in the family is following the petition's progress and coverage of it online. I will try to secure more support on social media platforms. Okay, smart. Good game plan. This is good.

Really thinking it through. It was on social media that King Suyash ran afoul of King Jeremiah, who loudly asserted his own claim on the territory. The two eventually agreed to work together toward their shared goals of question mark, question mark, question mark. That's beautiful. That's really... Wow. Harmony. A soul of a poet I've got. Soul of a poet. Harmony. Yeah.

Hopefully there's room in those goals for a third. How about a menageret? Because the day after Suyash Dixot made his claim, Russian DJ Dimitri Zhikorev hoisted the flag of the Tolkien-inspired kingdom of Middle Earth. Oh, wow. Okay. Left turn. Let's go. Zikarev claimed not only that Dixit and Heaton had fabricated the evidence of their claims, but that Zhikarev himself had actually been to the spot in 2014 before either of them made their claims. So there. Yeah. I hear this. Yeah. Totally believable. Zikarev announced plans to set up a radio transmitter and drill for water. Those plans,

presumably will bear fruit any day now. Any day. Any day. I can smell it. In September 2019, Lebanese American businesswoman Nadera Nassif broke the glass ceiling as she became the first publicized woman to stake a claim to beer, wheel, or as she called it, the kingdom of the Yellow Mountain. Round of applause for a woman, for a girl boss. Total girl boss. Wow. Total girl boss.

The stated goal of the Kingdom of Yellow Mountain is to provide aid for refugees and offer citizenship for the stateless. Oh. Asked for comment. Jeremiah Heaton called Nassif, quote, a mentally unhealthy person. The hysteria card. Good one. Yeah.

Nice. In 2021, South London barrister Dwayne Coward claimed beer to wheel. in an effort to insert himself as a regulator of a regional mining safety, as well as to dismantle the mining black market in the area. Quoting coward speaking to vice, quote, one of our biggest challenges is to unify the diverse factions that are used to operating without any oversight. I've sent my terms to the tribal chiefs in the area.

I've told them it's in everybody's interests if we work together, put something out of the profit you're making to one side to create a communal plot where we can improve the situation for everybody. You can continue what you're doing, but under this regime. Wait, direct quote, this regime. The vice article continues, the vocabulary might be troubling to some.

To call the proposed movement a regime is to conjure up an unfortunate parallel with the worst excesses of imperialist history. That the tribal chiefs with whom coward says he's negotiating are not native or even permanent in the region also raises questions about ownership and the right to extract beer to wheel's resources. Some observers have pointed out awkward symmetries

between foreign interest in Beartweil and the history of African colonization. Certainly, the language in which Coward communicates at times reads like an updated blueprint for selling a sanitized imperialistic vision of the continent. And then we get one last quote from Wayne Coward. The difference is we're here to build a state, not to take wealth out, but to keep it in. We need these people to work with us. It will be a tax on what they earn, but they still keep the lion's share. Once they understand that there's a mutual benefit here, everything I'm doing is for the

benefit of the people there. It's just a matter of getting them to recognize that. Yeah, that's usually what it is. Just got to convince them. Yeah, this is good for you. You've got to be a salesman. Don't take no for an answer. This is good for you. Lastly, in 2019 and in 2024, Young Pioneer Tours operated tours out of beer to wheel. Have you ever heard of this organization, Young Pioneer Tours? No. They have a role in a relevant newsworthy item of note that I'll explain. Oh, okay. Okay. In their marketing, Young Pioneer Tours. used the slogan destinations your mother would rather you stayed away from. Okay, so it has like a vice, a vice kind of like.

Forbidden Vancouver type of, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, because Pioneer could also be like, wait, are they Mormon? Is this like proselytizing? But. Because no those two college guys. Right? See? It started with these like two college guys and I think the animating thought was,

God, isn't it so expensive to go to North Korea? Like, what if we could do tourism in North Korea, cut that bitch in half, cut that bill in half? So they were like the budget, like young, like cool. If you want to go somewhere forbidden, they did a Chernobyl tour. Oh. They did a tour of the disputed territory of Abkhazia. Oh.

They become relevant because on one of Young Pioneers tours in North Korea, one of the tourists, a guy named Otto Wormbler, who's a dude from Ohio, 22 years old on one of these tours, he gets too drunk at a party. And he goes and he decides he's going to steal one of the like, welcome to Korea, we love you, dear leader, kind of propaganda banners. No, this is not a frat house. Nope, nope, no. And as the group is waiting at Pyongyang International Airport to leave, he gets

tapped on the shoulder and pulled aside, and one of the people with him awkwardly jokes, well, we're never seeing him again. And that turns out to be the case. Yeah. He is sentenced to 15 years of imprisonment with hard labor. Trump and Rex Tillerson negotiate his release. But when he's released, he's in a persistent vegetative state from which he never recovers. And the family chose to discontinue life support on June 19th, 2017.

Whoa. So. Oh, my goodness. There's a lot more to the story than I just even explained. It's just out of scope. But, like, it sort of gives you an idea of, like, what kind of tour group is doing tours in Beartowel? Yes, yes.

Perhaps not that careful. Yeah. Dean Carolec wrote a book about Young Pioneer's Time in Beer To Wheel called The Men in No Man's Land, a journey into Beartreville, which I did not read because I learned about it five minutes before recording. Oh, yeah. Still found out about it. Let's go, baby. Due to the ongoing war in Sudan, Young Pioneer no longer operates tours out of Beartweil

and noted during their last trip that mercenaries and illegal miners have set up permanent settlements in the area. Yeah. So maybe if you're listening to this and you're inspired to go out there, don't. Yeah, maybe, you know, buy yourself a pair cargo shorts, zip her off the knees and take a stroll. in the neighborhood, you know? Down memory lane. Yeah. For all its seeming bravado, on the website, while explaining the cessation of the tours to Beer to Wheel, young pioneer tours makes a salient point. Sadly, being unclaimed means that in actual fact, beer to wheel is claimed by a whole host of people, many of whom have not actually been here.

In reality, this piece of land sandwiched between Egypt and Sudan has a fraught history, and despite claims it is uninhabited, it is very much inhabited by the Ababa tribe. Believe it or not, they do not take too kindly to people planting flags. Yeah. And that is, the story of the unwanted place desired by all, beer to wheel, aka the kingdom of North Sudan, the kingdom of Middle Earth, the kingdom of Dixot,

the kingdom of Yellow Mountain, and if you've learned nothing from the story, Mitch Topia, the kingdom of Josie Mitchell. But before you arrive at this expanse of rock and desert with nothing but your carry-on luggage, your small dog, and a dream, parentheses Mitchell divorced you over this and took the cat.

Remember that sometimes the desert's best conquered are the sandboxes of our imaginations. You can play princess with your daughter outside in the play school castle by the weed crop and leave the administration of disputed lands to the parties involved. Let your restraint be your oasis. Beautiful. Beautiful. Unisph for kids in Sudan and United Nations Refugee Agency. They're going to know a little bit more about what they're doing. Please don't, don't buy the bumper sticker. Don't get the t-shirt. Don't get the hat.

You don't need the water bottle. You don't need the beer coozy. Yeah. Don't need the vanity license plate frame, no. It's a nice beach towel. It's the flag. And the terry cloth is, is nice and fluffy, but you know what? Just go to the store. Buy one half the price. Then you're not supporting this. Yeah. You know what I will say is I was very taken with the various flags of these micro-nations. I'm a flag guy. And I thought that all of them were relatively tasteful. Like none of them, not all of them were to my taste, some slightly more garish than others, but none completely unacceptable. Okay. But also none legitimate in my eyes. Right, yeah.

Yeah. So there's that. But design-wise, they're okay. Okay. I'll take okay. Design-wise. Yeah. One's just like cargo pants, American girl.

Thanks for listening. If you want more infamy, we've got plenty more episodes at bittersweet infamy.com. Or wherever you listen to podcasts. If you want to support the podcast, shoot us a few bucks via our coffee account. At K-O-5F-I.com. slash bittersweet infamy. But no pressure. Bitter sweet, baby. You can always support us by liking, rating, subscribing, leaving a review, following us on Instagram at Bitter Sweet Infamy, or just pass the podcast along to a friend who you think would dig it. Stay sweet.

My sources for this episode included the 2021 documentary, The King of North Sudan, directed by Danny Abel. World's First Crowdsourced Country Campaign aims to solve world hunger by Helen Reagan in Time Magazine, May 11th, 2015. Man claims African land for daughter to become princess. In BBC News, July 15th, 2014, I read Jeremiah Heaton's Indiegto page, the world's first crowdfunded nation. That Indieggogo page is also the source of the video clip used earlier on the show. I read Suyash Dixon. Indian man declares unclaimed 2,000 square kilometer area in Africa, his kingdom. in Dehrada News Times of India by Yeshika Boudoir, November 15th, 2017. I read, Egypt and Sudan should close border loophole in Arab news by Dr. Abdel Atifif al-Manawi, September 18th, 2019.

The Battle for the Last Unclaimed Land on Earth by Robert O'Connor for Vice, October 27, 2021. A fictional country is reigniting real territorial fears by Muhammad al-Bashan on September 25th, 2019, for foreign policy. I looked at the Young Pioneer Touring. dot com page, beer to wheel tours and travel for 2026 and 2027. Spoiler, there ain't any. Sudan, now one of the worst humanitarian nightmares in recent history in ABC News by Emma O'Gao, October 25, 2023. Sudan Civil War, History and Implications, Six Root Causes, on the webpage for the Sudanese American Physicians Association.

I watched a video posted on April 13, 26, by UNHCR, the UN Refugee Agency, on their Facebook page. their Facebook page. I read the Wikipedia pages for Otto Wormbler, Young Pioneer Tours, Beir to Wheel, attempts to claim Beir to Wheel as a sovereign state, unilateral declaration of Egyptian independence, Republic of Sudan, 1956 to 1969, the Ababda people, and lastly, I read the Ballotpedia page for Jeremiah Heaton. If you were affected by the stories of the tragedies coming out of Sudan, please consider donating to UNICEF for kids in Sudan, or the UN Refugee Agency, or the UN Refugee Agency. We're extremely grateful for our monthly subscribers at coffee.com,

K-O-hyphen-Fi.com slash bittersweet infamy. If you join, you can become a monthly subscriber like our dear friends, Terry, Jonathan, Lizzie D, Erica Joe, Sof, Dylan, and Satchel. Bitter Sweet Infamy is a proud member of the 604 podcast network. This episode was edited by Josie, Mitchell and me, Taylor Basso. Our interstitial music, as always, is by Mitchell Collins, and the song you're currently listening to is T-Street by Brian Steen.