Bittersweet Infamy - #41 - The Runaway Bride

Episode Date: April 3, 2022

Taylor tells Josie and guest host Mitchell Collins about bride-to-be Jennifer Wilbanks and her highly publicized disappearing act. Plus: an unusual interspecies love story and an influencer couple selling their surname to the highest bidder — but which one is actually true?

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I'm Josie Mitchell. I'm Taylor Basso. On this podcast, we tell the stories that live on in infamy. The shocking, the unbelievable, and the unforgettable. The truth may be bitter, but the stories are always sweet. Welcome everybody to the very first time that a... Yeah, hey. That a Bittersweet Infamy podcast has been recorded with everybody in the same damn room.

It's Taylor, it's Josie, it's special guest, Mr. Mitchell Collins. Hey. Taylor's also hosting us in his very own apartment. It's good to be here. Yeah, it's very nice. For sure, and so folks, if you notice, a little bit more noises of the room than usual. A little bit more ice clinking in glasses, or a little bit more floorboard squeaking. Noises of the heart, really.

Yeah, noises... You just refer to it as friend noises. Friend noises. I love friend noises. So to me, I've never seen the issue with a couple of friend noises popping up in the background of a podcast. It lets you know that someone moved a bag slightly to the right. So here's the deal. We're all just sitting here. Josie's a bit of a prodigal daughter here.

She's returning to Vancouver, home of Bindi Johal, home of the McBarge, home of the other barge. Weed. Great weed. Cheers to that. And otters. And the other thing that you need to know is, I, and this is a Taylor Basso initiative, so I want to take the credit if it's good, but if it's bad, I deserve the blame. I have stacked this episode stupid with gimmicks.

Not only... Ha ha ha! Not only is Mitchell in the room, and he was always supposed to be in the room for this episode, by the way. It just happened that they ended up coming here, so we just worked him into this. He's also going to be in episode 42, by the way. So if you don't like him here, I have terrible news. We're coming back to Vancouver for that one. Not only is Mitchell going to be here, but we're doing episode 41 is a theme episode.

We're tackling the theme of matrimony. We're tackling weddings. Big old dubs. The big old dubs. And this was originally, this was only, this was me just trying to come up with an excuse to bring Mitchell in, because I like Mitchell. I like you too. Yeah.

It hits different when it's not on Zoom. You don't understand. But, I also kind of wanted to acknowledge the fact that Josie and Mitchell are recently engaged. However, because I have stacked this episode stupid with gimmicks for no reason, we're doing another gimmick. April is the month of fools. Particularly the first part of it. Yes, but also the second part, because we're going to be doing it in the second part of April too.

Spread the gimmick. Spread the gimmick out. Bye. So here's the gimmick. For April, for bittersweet infamy, and if you like it, maybe we'll bring it back next year. And if you don't mention it, then we'll probably forget. Do you take audience feedback, or are you just like... We encourage audience feedback, but nobody will give it to us.

Okay. We've had some reviews, but they're reviews, they're not feedback. Shows to satchel the cat. The way that we're doing the Minfimuses in April, so that's this episode as well as episode 42, we'll be recording later on this evening, so if you notice the quality progressively degenerating. Because my episode is the second one? Is that what you're saying? Oh no, I'm saying because we're probably half-kai.

That's my thing. I don't typically like to imbibe the alcohol when we're doing the podcast, but this is a special occasion. And so I hope to have an air of festivity about the proceeds. However, let me explain this fucking gimmick. Yes. Thank you. Two Minfimuses. Minfami with two eyes, if you like.

One. Real. The other. A flimflam. A sham. Completely made up. Josie is gonna be giving us two stories for this Minfimus. And the Minfimus, if you're just newly-tuned in, we do a little small Minfimus story at the top.

She's gonna be giving us two. One of them's real, one of them she just made up. And we gotta figure out what it is. Josie, take the stage. The first story, which might be true, or might be false. A birdkeeper in the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute, which is just outside of the Shenandoah National Park. This birdkeeper, Chris Crowe. Love it.

Okay, okay. Is the mate. No, it has to be true. Is the mate to an endangered species, a white-naked crane. You said that Chris Crowe is the mate. The mate. Okay. To an endangered species, a white-naked crane named Walnut.

So we've got an interspecies bird romance is what we're looking at here. We're looking at it. We've got a crane named Walnut, we've got a human named Crowe. No, the bird is named Crowe. There's a human named Crowe. Human is named Crowe. The bird is a crane named Walnut. But they're in love.

Totally. Okay, next one. Or is there more? There's more. There's more. He's like, I'm over this. I'm just like, that can't be real. That's fake.

Next one. I've got shit to do. Okay, tell us more. Tell us more. Listen, you're out, you're out. Okay, tell us more. Okay, so the white-naked crane is an endangered species and has been for quite a long time. They are native to the Korean peninsula.

So you can imagine the Korean war wasn't too gentle on them. But specifically, they are, they like the, what is now, the demilitarized zone. Is that real? Is that true? Yeah. They... I'm trying to catch you. Mitchell, you have a lot of trust issues.

I'm trying to get you. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Is this... Maybe there won't be a wedding. Oh no. Interestingly enough, because the demilitarized zone is not a populated area, they are... Their numbers are slightly increasing there.

They're still in the endangered species list. But I love this detail. They're so light that they don't set off the landmines that are set there. The cranes? Like they like step over the landmines and they don't explode? They don't explode. Okay. So...

I've seen you act before. I've been in a play with you, you know? What are you trying to do? I'm just letting you know that realize, realize, realize. That's all. Yeah, dude. Okay. So Walnut's parents, Amazon and Mercury, were imported to the US.

They're imported to the US to a zoo, a facility in Wisconsin. And they successfully made it and had a series of chicks, one of whom was Walnut. Okay. But Walnut, as a young chick, grew up by the hand of one of the zookeepers there. And they don't know too much about her early history, but they can determine that she was imprinted to a human. Like before she met Crow. Yeah, like Jacob. So, yes, before she met Crow.

You talking about Bella Swan's baby? Yeah. Are you talking about Bella Swan's baby? Her name is Renezmi, by the way. Her trunk is outside. No, she, in this context imprinted, just means that who raised her was a human. And so she identifies as human. So she's like one of those, you know, when the dodo does, like, here's a beaver that lives inside.

Got you. Yeah. Yeah. So when Walnut sees a human, they see like, oh my compadre, my home. My husband. My husband. Yes. So this is not standard practice because it means that Walnut and any animal who's imprinted to a human cannot vibe with her own species,

which means she can't mate with her own species. And she was taken to other zoos. And because the white-naked crane is endangered, she was set up with all these other mates. I'm sorry, I'm looking at Josie with like, withering anger and suspicion. I'm like, you're marrying this fucking liar. This is your gimmick. This in-person podcast idea was a horrible idea. We turned on each other so quickly.

We shouldn't have worked deception in it. It was a losing bet. Sorry, go ahead, go ahead. Okay, so they transport Walnut to all these different zoos to try to get her to mate with different white-naked cranes. She goes ballistic on them because she doesn't see them as her own species. She's like, I don't want to fuck a bird. I'm a human. Exactly.

Oh, wow. And she apparently murders a handful of these other endangered birds. Whoa. That's no good. You can't do that. No, she's like blacklisted. That's illegal. Like a black walnut.

She's black walnut listed. She's a black walnut here. So as a last ditch effort, they transferred her. Chris Crow. Chris Crow. So Chris Crow. He grew up with this deep love of animals. And actually, he for a long time wanted to work, and probably it still does, wanted to work at a wolf reentry program, like a rehabilitation center for wolves.

He started working in these similar types of institutions. And he was working with birds and this opportunity came up to work with the Smithsonian. And so he did so. He doesn't have any formal like specifically bird rehabilitation or mating expertise. He just watched other white-naked cranes and like learned kind of a few of the things like certain mating dance, gestures. One of them is like kicking up grass, which is meant to mimic like building a nest together. But he learned them too well.

He learned them too well. Well, it helps the walnuts imprinted to humans, right? Of course. But did he know that? He's like this crane I'm hanging out with is maybe possibly going to want to imprint on me. I mean, is that something that you would suspect when interacting with a crane? If I was like working at the crane. His gold.

If I was getting paid by the crane. Fair enough. But the whole objective was for him to make her feel comfortable enough that he could inseminate her. Continue with the story. That's totally real. Thank you. I actually do think it's real. I'm getting real vibes off this one.

Uh-oh. So Chris Crowe was not trained in this, but he did. He's a careful observer. He learned from other cranes who were mating. And so he reenacted some of those mating rituals and got her interested. Okay. Gross. Yeah.

What it typically looks like is they'll enact those rituals and she kind of presents herself, meaning like her booty. Okay. And... Klawaka. What's that? Klawaka. What's that?

I think it's her pussy. A bird pussy? It's a pussy. It's the pussy. Oh, Chris Crowe. It's the pussy, yes. Okay. Can I ask this question?

This is more important than I thought now that I think about it. Is it spelled with like Chris K-R-I-S-K-R-O-W-E? I do want to be spelling here. C-H-R-I-S Chris Crowe. C-R-O-W-E. It's like classic. E. Classic Crowe.

Oh, W-E. You gotta listen. Sorry. You gotta listen. I did stop listening. I did stop listening. Now start. So, they've been doing this ritual for a few years now.

Captive cranes can live up for 60 years, and they do mate for life. Okay. So, because Walnut has chosen Chris, this could be a very long affair. It's no long that Chris might be up for retirement before she's ready to be done with mating. He, and I quote, says, I'd feel like a jerk if I left her. So, we're not at the point. He might be paid. Washington Post, babies.

Okay. Okay. So, that is a bird mate for life, Crane and Crowe. Cool. Interesting. Alright, let's give us the other one. Alright, let's hear it. I'm ready.

That sounded real to me. I give her that. If she's a liar, she's a good one. This is the story of two Instagram influencers who planned an elaborate engagement scavenger hunt that went off so well that they continued their influencer media shaboo, and have now opted or put up their last names as an advertising opportunity. Okay. What does that mean exactly?

So, you would be MitchellGoldenPalace.com. Oh, wow. Or, like, Mitchell Bank of America. Yeah. Mitchell Crypto. And they would share that last name. Mitchell Titscoin. And they're like, this is the marriage that we wanted.

Yeah. I love that. Uh-huh. It's gotta be real. No, I disagree. Really? What makes you say that? Continue telling your story.

I'll explain at the end. Alright. Alright. Alright. Marissa, and I would just, I would say Marissa Fox. I think. Okay. Maybe it's Fooch.

Fooch. Oh, I thought you were trying to say that. You would say that. F-U-C-H-S. Oh, no. F-U-C-H-S. And honestly, Marissa Fox. Otherwise known as her Instagram handle, at Fashion Ambitionist, and Gabrielle Grossman

at GabeNow. Between the two of them, they had two, they have 200,000 followers. And this journey began when Gabrielle Gabe puts together this elaborate engagement scavenger hunt in which Marissa flies across the world starting in the Hamptons, New York, which, and she lives in New York City, they live in New York City, to Montauk, then to Miami, to Paris, all these different places. Along the way, she is meant to find, and does find, two diamond and gold necklaces that are very clearly attributed to the brand Jade Trowel.

I don't know that brand very well. But apparently it's like- You're a fucking liar. The stagings of it are like, oh, hello, hello, box. Okay, got you. Nothing that you're saying is out of line with what actual influencers would do. No, I don't want it. I do wonder where this money comes from, but I also feel like influencers mysteriously

just show up on yachts, and you're like, who's yacht? Why? It doesn't matter. Yeah, maybe they're just rich. I think they're just a little rich, a rich enough. I think they're a little false. You think this one's not a real one? I think this is the bullshit one, but I want to see if Josie cracks under the pressure.

When asked by the Atlantic in an interview, Gabe said the question being, what is this all for? He said, you know, it's for the gram. Not for the gram. It's for the gram. All of these trips, all of her meeting him in these certain places is, of course, documented on Instagram, but they also used and published this pitch deck PDFs. Pitch deck is like a, I had to learn this like a PowerPoint or almost like a Prezi situation

where it's designed for businesses. You just took me right back to like 2013 with Prezi. So thank you. Okay. Yeah. I love you, Prezi. I love you, Prezi. Just go zoom in.

Yeah. Amazing. Prezi, if you're out there, I hope you're doing well. Yeah. We'll wear Prezi aprons. Yeah. I'm willing to, let's make this the Prezi sponsor podcast. So they put together these pitch decks that were also shared with Instagram followers

so that people could track where Gabe was going to be and how Marissa would find him. And it'd be like 3pm. We're going to have like an Instagram on the patio and like with this sea view and da da da da da. So people were tuning in. You weren't following this as it happened though, huh? What are you talking about? This story.

You weren't following them on Instagram as this happened being like where are they going to show up? How can they get there? I don't follow them. Marissa's Taylor. I only follow my sad friends. Cool. So everything goes without a hitch.

They gain even more followers. Good. So according to the Atlantic, it is a meticulously planned marketing stunt. Okay. It happens so well that now Marissa and Gabe have drummed up more excitement trying to gain more followers by, like I said at the top, offering up their last name to essentially the highest bidder. Right.

Okay. So the reason that they claim for this is that Marissa has, doesn't have very much connection to her father, the name that she has fucks or fuchsias or whatever it is. Yeah. Fair enough. No, no. No, no more explanation needed. Honestly.

Yeah. Yeah. She's very willing to part with it and her family feel her mom and her sisters feel they're going to find with that Gabe, Gabrielle Grossman. Yeah. Fair enough. Mm-hmm. That's interesting.

Says that while his parents are not thrilled with the idea of not having his name in the mix, he also has two other brothers and so probably two other brothers they like better. No disrespect. That might be the case. Yeah. Fair enough. That might be the case. There's nothing wrong with being an influencer, folks.

Follow your rainbow. Mm-hmm. If you do follow it to this particular point, we might very gently and empathetically poke fun at you on this podcast. Yeah. Exactly. Thank you. That was fun.

Thank you. And Marissa and Gabe say that this type of investment would not only help them pay for the wedding in a big, huge way. Of course. Weddings are expensive. We do like a big party. Or either of you like, do either of you like want the attention in that way or like, you know, you know how the wedding is all about you and everyone's kind of looking at you.

Is that an appealing prospect either of you or is that like just kind of a little... That's not very appealing. It's extremely not appealing to me. Really? Yeah. You two are low-key folks. Yeah, that's true. I think but it's like a party would be fun.

A party would be fun but not the ceremony with a lot of people. The ceremony doesn't appeal to me at all but I get it and everything. But a party would be nice. Yeah, like dancing and like dancing. And being with the people that you love. Yeah. Of course, that makes sense. That sounds good too.

But like, I have like thrown parties at my house and I'm like, oh my gosh, this is nerve-racking. The house has to be clean. The bigger the party, the more it feels serious. Barfed everywhere. Yeah. Marissa and Gabe want a huge party though. Good for them. They should.

I didn't anticipate that they were going to skimp out. Although I do get the sense that if I just had to put it into the air, maybe a substandard paid wedding where a lot of people feel ripped off by the experience. I would have assumed that. That's my guess. Another reason why. Or is there more to the story? Nope.

That is... They haven't got married yet. They have not got married yet. They're still looking for a... A brand sponsor. A sponsor. Yeah. So, Josie, I'm going to need you to keep a stoner face as you can right now because

I'm going to say something that might crimp your plans. A stoner face? Is that what you said? Stone face. Okay, thank you. Keep your poker face on because I don't want to shock you with what I'm about to say. So I will say that by accident when I was hanging over by my bed, I did notice that Josie was on the Atlantic.

I didn't see that what she was looking at, but she was on the Atlantic. Keep a stoner face. I don't think that necessarily means that the second story is true because if I was smart, I would just incorporate the Atlantic as my source for both stories. But I will say she never even mentioned a source during the first story. Can I weigh in a little bit? Yeah. Because we're not deciding yet.

We're just talking, right? We're just having a little chat. Ted and Ted. Yeah, I love that. Just bros talking. Just bros talking. Josie's a bro here, too. Bro is not a gender essential.

Of course. Anyone can be a bro. Anyone can be a himbo. It's 2022. I identify as a bro. Thank you. We're all dudes and bros and himbo. Just hang it out.

So in a lot of ways, I'm leaning towards the second one. For that reason that you said and for a couple other reasons, the second one feels more real to me, like outrageousness abounds and influencer culture and like, firefest, there's all kinds of things like that. I haven't heard of either of them, though. And I'm decent. I'm not. I don't follow influencers, but I follow ridiculousness.

Right. And I haven't heard of those folks. That's a good point. But I think to me, the thing- And they only have a very small amount of followers, but go ahead. I felt a little skeptical when she was describing, like, how the parents are weighing in about how they don't feel so bad because she has three brothers. I don't see that in an Atlantic article.

That seems like a detail that is just- I disagree. I have read a lot of Atlantic articles for this podcast, and there's always just like a secret jab in there. Well, the thing is, the first one, there's a lot of things about it that felt like they were like, so crazy, it must be true, but you feel like if they're so crazy, they must be true, then they can't be true. No, no, not at all.

Like, I think you made a good point with his name being Crow. That's like so- No. You changed your mind. Well, in the first one, too, there was that thing about North Korea, which I was like, that can't- Yeah, why the fuck did North Korea get in there? And like, that got in there.

That sounds like a fake Josie thing. But see, that's the thing that I struggle with, because it seemed like a fake Josie thing, kind of like the three brothers, and oh, make sure we know that one of them's named Fuchs and the other one's named Grossman. But it's like North Korea. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, but it's- That's too funny.

That's like Josie funny. Yeah, but the North Korea thing was like that, too, it wasn't really relevant for the story, but it's also maybe something that would just be in the article or whatever that you read. I think that we need- At the end of the day, we need to go on our guts here, and it's okay if we part directions. Okay, okay. Because there can be a winner and a loser. It's always fun.

Yeah. What does your gut tell you is the real story? My gut tells me the influence of it is the real story. I also think the influence here is the real story. Are y'all ready? Yeah, yeah. Y'all ready for this? Bram, bram, bram.

Chris Crow, indeed, is the mate. Oh, she got us. Bram, bram, bram, bram. She killed us both. Bram, bram, bram, bram. Oh, never underestimate you again. Okay. So, let me, I need to preface this with a little, with an anecdote of a lesson that I teach.

Please. I go into high schools and I teach creative writing, and when I start these lessons, I'm typically teaching some fiction in there, and when I start a fiction lesson, I start with two truths and a lie, and we talk about what makes a good fucking lie. Good for you. A good, I'm teaching the youth of America a lie better. And what makes a good lie is you take a truth and you smush and shuby and shabby. I agree.

I agree. So, Marissa Fuchs and Gabrielle Grossman are influencers, and Gabe did this elaborate scavenger hunt in which she sent Marissa around the world and people followed and they did all these weird scheduled PDFs and it was a meticulously planned, yes, a meticulously planned stunt, what did I call it, a marketing stunt, meticulously planned marketing stunt, but. What an embarrassment for us. They have not.

I would know about this. I would know about this. I would. I would. Listen, if Marissa Fuchs was out there, I watch YouTube sometimes. So I apologize to Marissa and Gabe for smirking your names, but maybe this will give you more influence or more influence. More clothe.

Followers. Clothe, baby. Yeah. Marissa, Gabe, if you want to be on the show, send us an email and let us feel out your general personalities before we commit to that, but if you're cool. And maybe a follow-up interview. Yeah. And maybe sometime soon you'll be named Marissa and Gabe.

Givenchy. More pull. Perrier, Lyme, Bubley, Bubley, I would be Taylor Bubley, I love Bubley, Bubley, if you want to sponsor me, like not the podcast, me as a person, to be clear. I burn through carbonated water, bro. Marissa and Gabe, Blue Apron. Yes, yes. Marissa and Gabe, Prezzie.

Aww. That's nice. See? Prezzie, here's your opportunities. This sponsorship deal, pay in dividends immediately. And the all, like wherever they get the ceremony happens behind it as a Prezzie. Oh, that goes without saying. No, no.

That goes without saying. We're doing, we're doing the... So I'm not trying to put any sort of bad vibes whatsoever into your process of ideating the wedding of your dreams. Oh, okay. Oh yeah, I forgot. However, this is bitter sweet infamy, I'm about to tell you as bad as this is about to go.

Yeah. Make my dreams come crashing down. It's over. What are, I guess, like what are your apprehensions about? Not so much the idea of marriage or commitment or anything like that, but what are your apprehensions about the wedding, the event of wedding? We actually said this right when we got engaged, like in that moment after. This balance of trying to make the wedding, the party, the celebration that you want for

your match and your future and like your friends and your family, trying to balance what you want and then also what, what a marriage means for like two families coming together. What a marriage means culturally as well, like there's these traditions set up, you know, it's nothing, I don't think marriage is like at this natural state. It is a very cultural human situation. And it means something different to every, every, a marriage means something totally different in India than it means in North America than it means in... Exactly.

Even if you're in the same exact spot, then what it meant 50 years ago, what it meant 100 years ago, what it will mean 100 years in the future and... And you're just taking that all onto your shoulders to solve for this one event. Yeah. Just going to do that. Yeah, just do it for you. Well, I think you can do it. Oh, sorry, we're going to do that.

We're going to do it. Mitchell, when you have the anxiety dream about the wedding, what's happening? I couldn't honestly tell you. Really? I don't really have anxiety dreams about it, but I completely co-signed everything Josie just said. I get that family stuff is hard. I think that family stuff is hard too when you like get to the idea of family meeting,

because it's two families becoming one. But we have the benefit of each of us have a sibling who's already been married. Yeah, that's very true. And even within that cultural context, the wedding for the woman is different, like the first daughter being married, but I don't think my mom has that thought. You're like the 80th daughter. Your mom's not like that. Yeah.

You're just one on the pile and you're family. Yeah, thank you. No problem. The youngest on the pile. Technically then I'm at the top of the heap. Any number of things can go wrong as a wedding approaches. Maybe her family is Maga and his family is Antifa. I love that.

And that open bar is looking like a worse and worse idea. Maybe some family drama bubbles up around the attendance of an unacknowledged son as with Candace and Mama Dorothy on Real Housewives of Potomac. Oh shit. Didn't catch that one, but I'm cool. You should have invitations get lost, vendors pull out, groomsmen go rogue. Bachelor parties open up all kinds of wounds you didn't even know were there. And Mitchell, what if Josie came to you one day and said, Mitchell, I really want to expand

this wedding. I want 600 guests. That's a nice round number. And I want a 28 person wedding party, 14 and 14. Split. Yeah, right down the middle. And at first you're a little taken aback, but the money is there in this situation. Okay.

And Josie seems happy to tackle the planning of it even though it's a very big wedding. She has eight showers. And Josie, what showers are those? There's the crystal shower, the party town shower, the tubing shower. Tubing. Tubing, we go tubing on a river. You should. We go golfing.

I hate golfing, but you have to. You have to. It's one of the eight. Yeah. There's also a total skincare one. Mountain top. Good for you spa. Yeah.

Valley low. You have to experience both extremes before you're ready to get married. Yeah. And then corpse flower. We go see a corpse flower. That sounds like you're pretty fucking sick. Like my bachelor party is probably going to be going to see the corpse flower. I'm just saying.

That would be the corpse flower. I know, right? And although it's a lot, all these eight showers, you have your mountain high and your valley low shower at your shower. You're just happy that she's happy and you're excited to begin your new life together. And then one day, Josie is like, Hey, I'm just going to go for a run in the neighborhood. Clear my head. You know, it's always running.

And so you're like, of course, be safe, you know, whatever, bring your, bring your little flashy, flashy or your put, put your little, you know, day glow Velcro tape on your jacket or whatever it is. And an hour goes by and then two. I don't like this. And then it's midnight. I don't like this one. Like it's me and like, oh, that's, that's fictional.

Josie is a land. Fictional Josie is a landmark of this one. She joined a cult. She joined a cult. She got killed in Pompeii. Fictional Josie is that bitch. She has lived so many lives. Now you implicate me.

Oh, your fictional Mitchell is happening. Oh my God. And you look around the neighborhood, but she's nowhere to be found. And you know, you call her family and friends and the police. And there's no sign of her. And that's the case for the next 72 hours during which the entire nation is gripped by the saga. Josie's white and she went missing.

Don't give me that surprise. Of course. Of course. No surprise. Casting aspersions about your innocence, giving their theories on what you did with her body. And then out of nowhere, you get a call, a phone call from Josie. Okay. Josie is safe, but she's in some random ass state an entire country away.

Is this like some God girl shit? The phrase that they used on the media because this was pre-God girl, the freeze was goodbye girl. Interesting. Do you think this influenced that novel? I don't know. But Josie gives you a call and she's crying and she says, she tells you and your families, the expanded Mitchell clan and the expanded other Mitchell clan.

And the police. What happened, she was abducted by this random couple who pulled her into a mysterious fan, did all these unspeakable things and dumped her across the country. Oh my God. But then after a little bit of prodding, she's like, yeah, I just really didn't want to go through with the wedding. Wow. The goodbye girl.

She went goodbye girl on you. She pulled the Neil Simon. This is the story in the media circus of the runaway bride, Jennifer Wilbanks. Do you know this one? No. Is this before the Julie Roberts and Richard Gere vehicle? No, it's after. Incredible.

To the point where, okay, so the source that I'll be primarily drawing from. Okay, yes. It's quite sensationalist. Yes. And that's a deliberate choice because that's how this story played out in the medium is the message. Yeah. Specifically, I'll be drawing from the runaway bride, Colin, a Katie Kirk special.

Oh. Look how Katie. So this special catches Katie in the absolute prime of her career. She's three years out from politely ending Sarah Palin's entire life. So politely. And I must say she is in fine form throughout. She's got quips. Her interview questions are sympathetically delivered, but precise and deadly.

Yes, like our hair cut. With all that said, I also want to emphasize that this is also an interview done in the immediate aftermath of the whole thing while Jennifer is completing inpatient psychiatric therapy. Oh my God. So everybody knows, the nation knows that she, it wasn't real that she just didn't want you. Yes.

Oh my God. She is actually on weekend release to do this interview. Oh. So it underscores that this is ultimately a story about somebody suffering a severe mental health episode on an unforgiving national stage. Damn. On the one hand, welcome to Bitter Sweet Infamy. We'll see you all at our annual fan convention in Jerusalem.

Yes. On the other hand. From your white sheets. Yes, please. On the other hand, I think it's always useful to establish a tone of compassion even as we poke fun at the absurdity of the story and let me tell you this one is all time. Okay. All right.

Jennifer Carol Woolbanks is born in Gainesville, Georgia. It's now our site of Atlanta. Okay. 25,000 people in 2005, closer to 40,000 now, are sitting on the grill. Yeah. Good time. It's also the self-proclaimed hospitality capital of the world. Oh, very welcoming.

Yes. More than literally anywhere you could ever be. Wow. There's so much tea on the front. A lot of sweet tea in a bucket. Jennifer has a twin brother, her mother co-owns. Yeah, that won't come back at all in the story. Her mother co-owns a sporting goods store.

Her father does land sales for the Georgia Department of Transportation. Her folks divorced and got together with other people and Jennifer and her brother lived between two homes. Okay. She went to church. She was an honor student, university athlete. She... What sport?

Oh, God. Running? Yeah. I was trying to hold that off because it's a little on the nose, but yeah. To be fair, to be 100% clear, I don't know if she was a varsity runner in high school, but she will become a marathon runner and running is her thing. Okay. All right.

As you will find out through the course of this podcast. She's a big runner. She loves to run. She went to University of Georgia, but got caught up in the social scene and dropped out of her pre-med biology program. When pressed on her ambitions, Jennifer replied, I mean, if you want to know the truth, my mom has said this. She thinks I was putting this earth to be a mom.

Oh, wow. And your mom says that. I'm shocked that a mom from Georgia would say such a thing. Yeah. Brand new. She takes a position as a medical assistant in a Gainesville labor and delivery unit where she's fond of joking. They better check my bags before I leave to make sure I don't have any of the babies with me.

Oh, whoa. I'm thinking Georgia tan. It's literally Georgia. Yeah, exactly. By the mid 90s, she's popular and close knit Gainesville and dates often, including at least one engagement that doesn't pan out, but struggles with perfectionism and finds herself constantly trying to please everyone all the time. And even in this interview that I watched her do, it's her, her fiance that she's run

away from. Yeah. And Katie Couric. Okay. And I found her like she would always insist like, I didn't feel any kind of pressure from family because I love them. Oh, they're the, they support me. They support me in everything.

And it was all me and nobody had any influence on me whatsoever except for myself. And that is my fault. So I got a little bit of that vibe. Yeah. Yeah. So to relieve the pressure, she starts casually stealing. Oh. Like small shoplifting.

Yeah. Okay. One of them I gather she was like actually employed at a department store and she would just let friends like kind of have things. Okay. First $37 worth of merchandise from Walmart, including a DVD and a bridal magazine. You love DVDs. I do.

Okay. Good for you. About $1,700 from a shopping mall and then $98 worth of merchandise from a store called Stilt for which she got two weekends in jail. Oh, wow. That's how it sucks. Yeah. I got to imagine she wasn't stoked on that.

According to Jennifer, she paid back all the money to the stores involved and the whole thing was quickly brushed under the rug and seldom discussed afterwards. Okay. About five years later in 2003, Jennifer is 31. She's still a hopeless romantic, idly daydreaming about finger paintings, white picket fences, and most importantly, a big ass wedding with all the frills. Okay. All right.

Jennifer, people that have grown up with me and people who have just come into my life know that I have always dreamed of that fairy tale wedding and that it just had to happen for me. Okay. So the people agree. The people are like, that does just have to happen. It doesn't seem like you would accept anything else. Yeah.

You seem pretty fixated on this. Right, yeah. Enter John Mason, an office manager from Duluth. Oh. He comes from a quote and I'm chucking as the hardest quotes I've ever chucked on anything here. Privileged and wholesome family. Okay.

Chucking around. Okay. Yes. His father was the mayor of Duluth for a bit back in the 70s and 80s. Oh. He had a reputation as a party animal in his youth when asked how he got it, he replied, quote, because it was true. Cool.

69. Like Kavanaugh vibes a bit? Yeah. Kavanaugh vibes a bit. Kind of unapologetic. We're even like George W vibes. Yeah. It's that kind of vibe.

It's that kind of vibe. Eat entire onion. Yeah. Sorry. In my notes on his general vibe, I have written quote, quote myself. The biggest normie I have ever seen. And then I like slam my back into my coffee table laughing. Wait, Taylor, are you saying, you're not saying John Mason?

John, the John Mason, the office manager from Duluth is in fact a normie. I'm sorry to break it to you. It's better in person, huh? The jokes land, the jokes land better. Okay. Good, good. We're working on it. I'm sure that Vodka Cran isn't her native.

In the mid to late 90s, he becomes a born again Christian. Jennifer's aunt, Jennifer Wilbanks, the runaway bride of note. Her aunt is friends with his parents and they have some conversation about how the fact that they're both marathon runners, like one of them mentions that the other's a runner and the other both runners. And the aunt is like, I'm gonna set them up. I'm gonna set them up. And the parents are like, no, don't do it.

I see that look in your eye. Don't you do it. Don't you do it. But she goes ahead. She decides to get into it. She metals and she calls him up at the office. Jennifer's aunt and she's like, I've got a niece. I've got a niece.

She's a runner like you go for a run. And then that's what they do. And well, they don't do that actually at all. I'm lying. So he calls her is what happens. He phones her and they speak for six hours to hear him tell it. He says that she loves all the things he loves like Georgia football and the Falcons. And did you say earlier that she really likes to please people?

Yes. Okay. But wait, Taylor, I thought you said he was a normie. He's real deep. He's like, I love both Georgia football and the Falcons. So, and he thinks, quote, this girl's pretty. She's perfect. Is that a quote?

Yes. That's like, no, that's like a real quote. So that's like a quote, quote. They meet. She's pretty. He's into it. Okay. And within 10 months they're engaged.

Whoa. They start living together at his home in Duluth and in deference to their shared faith. But I got the vibe seemingly more at his request. They abstain from both premarital sex and alcohol. And alcohol. He's like proper fundamentalist evangelical kind of born-again Christian. Right. He's not much for the, and plus he's also someone who seems to have done this somewhat in response.

He had a reputation as a party animal in his youth, right? Yeah. And so he's clearly trying to move away from the booze and he's like, no more booze. They're trying to prove a point. Yeah, but also we're going to be living under the same roof, but no banging. And when Katie directed these questions, this is just my observation. He answered for both of them. Okay.

So. She'll have the salmon on a bed of rice. On a rice. And not the dick. And not the dick. And not the dick. This meant sadly that theirs would be a dry wedding, a disaster. Always.

Who cares? But they would make up for that in other ways. Specifically, this would be a $50,000 wedding. So we're in 2005, but in modern terms that's about $72 grand. Whoa. To include eight showers. Your rock climbing shower. Your glow in the dark paint shower.

I forget what the fuck you had in there. Crystals? You had crystals in there? The Corpse Flower Shower. Corpse Flower Shower. Maybe I'll toss in like a ceramics painting one. Good for you. You can expand.

It is kind of scarce to me. I think it needs more showers. There would be a ceremony at a church near their home and a reception at a posh Duluth country club. Oh. There would be 14 bridesmaids, 14 groomsmen, and 600 invitations. They registered for Lenox China, parentheses, pattern, colon, solitaire. That's not a good wedding gift.

Tell me about it. Why would you buy a pattern that's solitaire for a matrimony? What if it's like a really fucking hot plate pattern? What if you look at that and you're like, I'm gonna fuck? Is that not how people do plates? Sorry. You're revealing something. You don't get horny about plates.

Is that just me? How about this? If that doesn't work for you, how about this? Okay. Liz More Tall Crystal by Waterford. Oh. I don't know. Liz More.

I know Waterford. Do you? Waterford? Yeah, Waterford Crystal. That kind of rings a distant bell. Yeah, it's like a crystal. I feel like I'm listing off the prizes that people in the 70s really wanted to win on Let's Make a Deal.

You know what I mean? A Datsun Hatchback, an upright player piano, and some Liz More Crystal. That's the vibe. Jennifer, I think, was specifically excited about the silver in the grand baroque pattern by Wallace. Okay. So baroque, I'm thinking like brocade, maybe like, I don't know, a sensitive watercolor of Marie Antoinette.

Not a watercolor, like a heavy oil. I'm seeing a lot of like frilly vines, like what's a loopy vine. Lots of loopy vines, some rich purples, some rich golds. But it's the silver, right? Jennifer is resolved that this will be the biggest day of her life, and it will go perfectly with everyone she loves there to witness it. Good for you, Jennifer. She's gonna do it.

I have faith that this wedding will go on without a hitch. No, her mother is so excited. The gifts are arriving. She's going to premarital counseling at the church with John, and it seems to be going harmoniously. Okay. She's going to see John's mother to happily chat about flower arrangements, centerpieces. Yeah.

And all the while a voice in her head screams her to run, run. You need to run, Jennifer. You need to get away, Jennifer. Run, run away immediately, Jennifer. You need to run right now, Jennifer. Run. And Jennifer knows that when you feel this way, as she has naggingly felt in the back of her head, her entire life, the best thing to do is to suppress it.

And certainly not tell anyone. Certainly not your parents, your fiance, anybody in your 28-person wedding party. Or any of those vendors who you've signed steel clad contracts with. Tell the cake lady, somebody needs to know. Somebody, somebody. But they wouldn't understand, and you got to keep people happy even if it's at your own expense. Oh, no.

And so five days before her last shower and 11 days before the wedding, Jennifer nips off to the bus terminal and buys a Greyhound ticket, good for a week. Oh. And she doesn't use it. She just kind of lets it a crew interest in her mind. Okay, yeah. It's the option in her purse, yes. It's the eject button.

Yeah. And... Oh, where to? Not only are you going to be surprised where you're going to be delighted, why? The ticket expires Tuesday, April 26th, four days before the wedding, April 30th, 2005, if you remember. Okay. And this is the last day she can use the ticket, the 26th.

She says there's no one thing that made her choose to run or aha moment. Right. And at the time of the interview, so this happened again, probably within six to eight months of when this all went down. Yeah. She is in inpatient psychiatric therapy and I don't really think she's gotten to the bottom of why this all happened yet. Yeah.

And she never gave a more comprehensive public statement than this. Most does she need to, no. No, I don't think she needs to at all. But because of that, there's a bit of a lack of clarity on the mental process. No, but, um, yeah, the whole like, I didn't have to have a big wedding. Oh, it's got to be big. 600 gas. 600 gas.

Like I think in the same way that Richard Gears character in the, in the Gary Marshall film, runaway bride really demonizes Julie Roberts. And it's like, wow, you know, there's no excuse. Just a side note, you did not prepare any of this. No, I didn't. He plays a horrible columnist for like the Boston Globe or some bullshit who's like, I'm sure that she's the ultimate man eater because she plans these elaborate weddings and she bounces on the grooms.

She's the problem. She's got mental illness. She's the fucking fuck up. Okay. But like the thing that he learns throughout the film in a really bad way because it's a terrible movie and I don't recommend watching it. But the thing that he learned. But I know everything about it.

He doesn't understand her perspective and that like there's a lot of social pressure on women to have weddings, especially once they've met someone and like that person wants to get married. And especially if they have girlfriends that like receive social capital from having bigger and bigger weddings and there's a lot of like class influences on that. Like I can see this whole thing of like, I've always dreamed of a big wedding. That's an external influence that doesn't necessarily come from her actual desires. And yeah, and I'm not saying that she's not mentally ill or something like that.

But I do think that to just say that like, oh, she's obviously guilty because she wanted this big wedding and then she bounced. I think there's a lot more going on. Oh my God, there's of course a lot more going on. And I don't like, this could be me. Not in the, not in this exact way I don't think, but as somebody who's struggled with my mental health and as somebody who is, I don't know, easily faced by big life events like a move or a job switch or a marriage or whatever it is.

Yeah. I think that we give a wide berth to the idea of mental health and mental health issues in their most sanitized form. Yeah. The idea that oh, sometimes people are sad. Well, we all go through that. But the truth is that when people are mentally ill, they do some fucked up things and they do some things that you might think are immoral or insensitive or self-absorbed.

Or annoying. Or annoying or, I mean, I haven't even kind of broached. It gets worse. Jennifer is going to do some pretty gnarly shit here that I don't cosign at all. And for me, when I tackle a story like this, I try to still find compassion there. Even when I'm like, I don't think that what you did here was right. And I would hope that I wouldn't necessarily do the same thing in the same situation. 8.30 p.m. April 26, 2005.

Jennifer tells John that she's going out for a run. Right. Yes. Adds Katie Couric. It wasn't quite a lie. She did run. Just much farther than anyone thought she would. Katie!

Katie is. I have peppered in Katie Couric narration throughout this. Oh my gosh. Because frankly, I can't tell this story better than she can. The height of her promise. Who could? Who could? Who could?

She has $140 in her pocket. She does not have a change of clothes. She's going to be doing this whole story in whatever shitty sweatsuit she just ran out the door in. Wow. She uses scissors. She pocketed some scissors, I think, on the way out the door. Okay.

Chops her hair short. She has like a little shoulder length kind of Sandra Leithan going. Yeah. Gets it down to like a Patricia Robertson early home improvement thing. Oh my gosh. And like, before the wedding, I'm sure she had like all these like styling shaboos and like. She's going to be a wedding.

Oh well. I think that that's the end of the wedding. When she pockets the scissors on the way out. Yeah, that's the end of the wedding. 140 bucks and she's like, I can make it to wherever I'm going to. I'm so excited to tell you how far she gets. I know things are going to get bad, but right now I love Jennifer. There's nothing like walking out the door knowing that you're like going on a trip.

You're like, $140 and a pair of scissors and a sweatsuit. What's up? I'm the detective. I would totally leave John Mason and grab a pair of scissors. I don't know where I'm going, but fuck this. I'm not getting married at the fucking Atlanta country club. She goes to the Greyhound station at the Atlanta airport to wait for a bus. Why didn't she take a plane?

She says like, I don't know, I thought maybe a Greyhound bus was more anonymous. It doesn't seem like she thought it through that much. She just had this Greyhound ticket. And she was like, fuck it. It's romantic as well. Yeah, it's very romantic. There's something like it's kind of cheesy, but it's sad. Yeah, for sure.

She says, quote, I had a bottle of pills or I had the bus ticket. And I decided not to play God that day. Oh my God. And decide when it was time for me to go. So I got on that bus. Katie's getting a lot of help. Damn, yeah. 10, 15 p.m. back in Duluth.

John has become alarmed. He starts driving around the darkened city checking in ditches for his fiance. Fearful that she may have fallen, become injured or worse been harmed. Yeah. Duluth for context is a little on edge because earlier than 2005, the only things that ever happened that put Duluth on the map both happened in 2005. Oh. And it made national headlines due to an incident where Brian Nichols,

who was a man on trial for rape, he escaped from custody, murdered the judge presiding over his trial. What? Killed a court reporter, killed a sheriff's deputy. Later, he ran off site and killed a federal agent. And then he kidnapped a woman named Ashley Smith and held her captive in her apartment, where she supplied Nichols with methamphetamine and read to him from The Purpose Driven Life. Oh my God.

I only have one question. Is there a reason why this isn't the story of today's episode? Fair enough. Fair enough. But I read that for the first time doing this. I was like, that sounds interesting. I'll come back to that maybe on a later episode. Look at that. Yes.

When we're completing my Duluth trilogy. The Duluth 2005 trilogy. Yes, exactly. The third part is very, very, like, blossoming. Yes. So this woman, Ashley Smith, was able to escape, call 911, and to aid in this man's apprehension. Oh my God.

Ashley Smith. A very bizarre incident. And one that left the small city of Duluth quite rattled. But not as rattled as it's about to be when at 10 30 p.m. Jennifer Woolbanks and her new sassy Bob leave for what Katie Couric calls her odyssey on the interstate. Oh my God. Destination. Austin, Texas.

That's what you were talking about. No, this is what I was talking about. Oh shit. Why Austin? Because of course, she had seen it as the backdrop to the E Network's Matthew McConaughey Uncut. A short, fluffy reality series about the titular actor touring America to promote a movie. Are you kidding me? She says she felt Austin wasn't out of reach and that she could find something to do.

But like, are you saying that to her in that moment, Matthew McConaughey was the draw? He clarifies, quote, I wasn't there to find Matthew McConaughey. Alright, alright, alright. To hear her tell it, and again, this is a misclear situation where, you know, your main source here is Jennifer, who like very publicly lied about something very important. So you just kind of got to take her for her word, whatever you think it's worth. She just kind of fugued out on the bus.

Okay, no, I've been there. Yeah, it's gray hound. Fuck it, I'm just going to spoil the story. She spends the entire time on the run on a series of gray hound buses to various cities. Beautiful. And just dissociates the entire fucking time and it's very liminal. You know me, I love some liminal shit. There's nothing liminal like fucking 20, 40, 60, 80 gray hound buses across America.

And it's not the same as taking a flight. No. It's not the same. The durational aspect of it is so intense. It's huge. I think there's also something about the anonymity. I think Jennifer's onto something there that helps with the subliminal. That's what she said.

Yeah. She stares out the window and doesn't sleep for hours and doesn't really think about her family. Not because she doesn't love them, she clarifies, but because that's just my way. Because she needed some time to think about herself. There you go. Eventually, the numbness gives way to panic, but she knows she's in too deep now. Oh, that's not good. Midnight.

Three and a half hours have passed since Jennifer left for her run. John Mason calls the police. By the next day, the host is packed with friends and neighbors and well-wishers and police. Hundreds of people have been activated. Everyone in Duluth is handing out flyers. Billboards are erected with Jennifer's photograph and information. Per John's account, he doesn't even have time to cry because he's being pulled in every different direction. And one group that is tugging on old John's sleeve is the FBI.

Because John is a person of interest in the disappearance of his fiance. Because at this point, we're one year post-Scott Peterson. And even if we weren't, it's always the fucking husband. Do you guys know Scott Peterson? It sounds really familiar. So the story of Scott Peterson is pregnant wife, Lacey Peterson, goes missing. His husband gets convicted, sentenced to death, dropped the body with an anchor off a boat. But did it turn out to be him?

He was convicted for it. So then after Scott Peterson, everyone's like, oh, it's always the husband. I mean, in general, it's always the husband. It typically is always in general. It's not always, but the problem is that's 99 times out of 100. And unfortunately for this poor chump, John Mason, he's not the 99. He's the one. Within the day, the story is national.

Millions of people are watching wondering, is Jennifer dead or alive? Did John murder her? What on earth happened in Duluth that dark and mysterious night? Truth enough. So meanwhile, Jennifer's still on her greyhound to Austin. She has no idea that the story is blown up at all. Oh, shit. Quote, you know, there's no TVs on buses.

There wasn't at the time. There probably is now. There probably. Well, I'll phone. Somewhere along the way, she decides to abandon her Austin plan. She gets off at the Dallas bus depot. Always a big mistake. And she decides, fuck it.

Go to Vegas. Hey, I bet there's a lot of other numb people there. Exactly. They let you drink alcohol on the street there. So she's off. She boards the second bus, which will take 30 plus hours to arrive at its destination. So she's, like I say, she's a ghost in this moment. She's really committing to nothing but places on the way to other places with no identity,

complete anonymity, et cetera. To be fair, because her story had blown up, there could have been somebody who would have tracked her ticket to Austin and like, she's in Austin and go there. But she didn't even know that the story had blown up. Duluth, day two, family inconsolable. Interior. Exactly. Making appeals to the public for information and help.

The search fans out, but nothing useful surfaces. The police and FBI press John Mason to complete a polygraph test. But thankfully, his lawyer steps in saying, we'll do a private one and then we'll tell them about it. Give that person a raise to me. Yeah, big time, because polygraph tests. Bullshit. So, Las Vegas, night three. Jennifer and her struggle haircutter sitting in a bus depot.

She has no change of clothes. She's been subsiding on snacks and candy bars that she's been able to purchase out of pocket with this 140 that she's been splitting between, I don't know, bugles to put on her fingers and greyhound tickets to nowhere. She claims that she cried thinking of the pain that she put people through, but because of this, more desperately than ever, she does not want to go back. Because she's like, well, that's going to be bad. Oh yeah, get that.

So with the last of her money, she buys one final greyhound ticket to Albuquerque, New Mexico. Oh. She denies reports that she was headed there to see an old boyfriend. 24 hours later. Oh, Jennifer's in Albuquerque. And she's wandering around the East Side, which to her is meaningless. And she rolls up to a payphone at the 7-Eleven at Solano and Central, which I gather is still there for you Albuquerque listeners.

And she decides, maybe I should call home. And in Georgia, it's early in the morning of April 30th, what would have been her wedding day? Oh no, I forgot the wedding. Yeah, I think everyone's kind of put the wedding on the back burner. She calls her family and by this point, unbeknownst to the would-be bride, the media spotlight is immense and the family has offered a $100,000 reward for her safe return. Whoa.

Her stepfather answers and then passes the phone off to John. Jennifer's crying and saying she doesn't know where she is. And via the call, Jennifer learns that her little greyhound tour of America is now a matter of national consequence. And at that point, she starts to elaborate a little. Okay. She tells her family that she was abducted in Duluth. Yeah.

When she was shoved into a van by a mysterious couple, a Hispanic man. No. There it is. There it is. That's the one. That's the one. Jennifer. And a white woman.

When she tells him that her hair has been cut, he responds, John responds, they cut your hair? And that's all he did to you? That's great. The family encourages her to contact the police in Albuquerque in the 11.40pm Pacific time, something else, Georgia time. That's what she does. She is picked up and brought to the station where she tells FBI agents

because of course there are fucking FBI agents there. Oh my god. Her story. She says that she was out for a run in Duluth when she was approached by a mysterious blue van driven by a Hispanic man with short hair and rotten teeth. Oh my god. Wow, the details. That is so nice.

Okay. And a heavy set white woman, both in their 40s, she says they were only speaking Spanish and listening to Spanish music. Listen. To all the white folks out there who want to go missing, I've had that urge. Just blame it on a fake white person. Anyway. Do the right thing.

Do the right thing. She says they bound her hands and cut off her hair and then gives an elaborate, complicated story of sexual assault that I haven't included both because it's graphic and because it never happened. It never, yeah. It's fake. That's so stupid. Oh wow.

And so I think that's where a lot of people who take moral issue with Jennifer Wilbanks more than bouncing on her family and concerning a community. I think false rape allegations, people obviously take really seriously. Yeah. Especially with the racial implications of pinning it on a fake brown guy. Yeah. And with the, I don't know, the intention that she's sitting there just lying and lying and lying.

Lying and lying and being like. There's probably some poor interracial couple who's getting their door knocked down because of this. And they got enough shit to deal with Jennifer. They don't need you bringing your shit over from Duluth to, you know, anyway. Whatever she tells them, whether it's what she's saying or the way that her story hangs together under repeated questioning, it eventually becomes clear that Jennifer isn't telling the truth.

Right. She says, Albuquerque police spokesperson. There we go. Trish Ehrensfield. I would say between 1.30 in the morning and a little bit up before 4 a.m. was when we had a good indication that she had not been abducted. Specifically an interviewer asks her, we can stop looking for the van. All right.

And she replies. Yeah. Oh. On how she generated her story, Jennifer says, maybe I watched too many cops and robbers movies. Oh my gosh. It is scary that it came so easily for me. That scares me to death.

And I'm trying to figure out why it was so easy for me. That you're a compulsive liar. That's an interesting thing to say. Yeah. But that feels, to me, the quote that you just said, maybe I'm like, I don't know, believing her too much. But that felt like the most honest thing she said. It's like there's this motor in her that just lies.

It came out like water off her tongue. Yeah. It just comes naturally. She tells police that her imaginary interracial kidnappers were based on a couple that she'd befriended on her Greyhound journey. No friendship with an erratic white lady goes unpunished. That's the fact. Within a few hours, the truth becomes public.

John claims that when he learned the truth, he was angry for five minutes, then realized that's the best possible outcome. We were all praying to God to bring her home. And he did. That's a nice thing to say. I agree. On April 30th, which was supposed to be her wedding, Jen is doing her perp walk flanked by the police at the Albuquerque airport with a striped blanket to hide her face.

Oh. A veil, if you will. As Katie puts it, you're flying back from Albuquerque with a different kind of veil. Oh my God. Oh my God. Where did Josie go? Oh my God. She's going to be so mad she missed Katie Courage.

Oh my. Jennifer feels confused and ashamed. She says if she could have gotten away, she would have run again. And so she makes the long flight accompanied by law enforcement and journalists from CNN, question mark. Whoa. Back to Atlanta. Okay.

She's greeted by a mixture of relief, sympathy, and anger from her community. That makes sense. Yeah. She took her coat and put up flyers and looked through thickets of brush and found, tried to find what is this milk carton. Could that have anything to do with how she went missing? Here's a cigarette butt. Oh my gosh.

Yep. Exactly. Let's DNA test that or whatever we got in 2005. I think it was um, luminol then was the hot shit. Let's luminol that. Yeah. And they're researching like frenzied on their chocolate phones. Exactly.

Poor things. Just little phones full of gumballs, you know this. And she returns to her parents house in Gainesville. She excused contact from anybody, even her fiance or her brother. She just stays in the basement and according to her, it's during that time that she realizes she desperately needs help. Oh yeah. When Jennifer goes to court to plead no contest to her felony count of making a false statement,

Shawn is at the courtroom in Gwinnett County to support her. They return home together where there's little conversation and much crying. He asks if she's okay and she says no, but she will be. She commits to inpatient psychiatric treatment, which she's still undertaking during the time of the curric interview. Yeah. When prompted. I'm just thinking of the doctor who signed off on that weekend for her to go and do this

nationally televised interview. I know. That's America. Dr. Phil. Dr. Phil. I'm sure I'm looking over like, no, no, no, no, this isn't, oh, Katie Couric. Yeah. Katie Couric.

I'm not at all surprised that you get me an autograph. Yeah. I'm not surprised that Jennifer agreed to the interview at all, but I'm so surprised that Dr. could sign on that. Yeah. I'm not surprised Jennifer agreed to the interview. I also think that it's probably a good time to bring in some money because... Right.

That's probably what people were telling her, like, you're going to need this for the rest of your life. Like, you're not going to get to, like, get book deals. This is, like, what you get. Wow. Am I wrong? Yeah. Oh, my God.

Oh. When prompted as to whether they still plan to get married, they indicate that they are, even though Katie adds, maybe a justice of the peace this time. Oh, shit. Katie Couric is the sniper from the side. That is, yeah. It just is what it is. No, it's true.

Jennifer is diagnosed with, and are you ready for some shit that's going to rock your world? Okay. Depression, anxiety, and a panic disorder. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. No shit. Yeah, I'm, like, so rattled right now.

Yeah. The court gives her two years probation and 120 hours of community service. She's asked to pay the city and sheriff's office back for the manhunt, which used $66,000 in law enforcement resources over four days. In the end, she reaches an agreement to pay back about $13,000. Okay. The tabloid news program, A Current Affair, a classic triangle logo. I remember Anna Maria watching this in the basketball household back in the day.

I don't know, fluently, but once. I saw the triangle once, and I thought, what a triangular show, and here it is. And they allegedly contacted the mayor of Duluth to offer to cover the costs of the manhunt in exchange for her brokering an interview with Jennifer. Oh, wow. But she refused. That was an elected official should. Yeah.

Jennifer first denied this allegation. The Kirk special wraps on an ambiguous note, revealing that Jennifer and John have already sold the rights to her story. Oh, my God. Julia Roberts. When asked, they have a line in this special about that. They're like, it's no longer just the plot line of a hit film. I feel like it says that.

Julia Reno A, exactly. You have watched this before, I see. Oh, my God. When asked if she simply wanted to become famous, Jennifer says, and for the record, I don't think she did this just to become famous. No, there's too many. There's too many. There's too many.

The shoplifting. I think this was the simmering over of something long-standing. Yeah, there's too many major reactions. That's not my reaction. But she responds, quote, I wish you were interviewing me because I had one American Idol. Not because this. Who in the world wants all their secrets out there? Not me.

Not like this, anyway. A skeptical Katie concludes by revealing that as of the taping of this special some months after the initial incident, the wedding gifts remain in an extra room at John's house, and if the couple ultimately decides not to get married, the gifts will be returned. Whoa. If you ever find yourselves in this specific situation, you should just return the gifts immediately. Just take it off your plate. That's my advice.

Mitchell, what do you think? I'd give the gifts. Oh, no. The Lismore crystal. It's the Lismore crystal. If I had gone on Katy Keurig and embarrassed myself and made myself like this. And Josie ditched you, you might as well cry. I'm keeping the gifts out of the Lismore, out of the solitary pattern that ended up being very assful.

I'm keeping the solitary patterns. This is all I have. Good answer, good answer. Let's hope the gifts found their way to their places of origin, because on May 22nd, 2006, about a year after the fake abduction, Jennifer and John finally called off their engagement. Later that year, Jennifer sued John. Oh, shit.

Oh, my God. Quote, this is, I think, a quote from Wikipedia, claiming that while she was hospitalized and under medication, she granted Mason power of attorney to negotiate the sale of the couple's story to a publisher in New York. Oh. According to her, Mason negotiated a deal for $500,000, then used the money to buy a house in his name only, from which he later evicted will banks.

Wow. However, she claimed, so she sued him for $250,000 as her share of the house and another $250,000 in punitive damages. Mason countersued claiming emotional distress from being left at the altar. Fair. In December 2006, both the parties dropped their respective laws. That seems like- So they just kind of moved on with their lives.

Well, they canceled each other out, right? Yeah. It's like, oh, yeah. It's like, well, you did cut your hair and take a greyhound or nine to Albuquerque. Both Jennifer and John stayed in Georgia and quietly married other people. Oh. John's 2008 wedding in particular is known as being intimate modest and taking place in his parents' backyard.

Okay. Jennifer married another guy in 2010, and they seem to have stayed together for about a decade until their recent divorce. Oh. All in, everyone involved seems to have retreated into being a private figure and I'm happy to extend them that grace. What is the legacy of the Runaway Bride incident? Put simply infamy in its purest form.

Infamy for its own sake. When you think of the infamous Runaway Bride, back. Not Julie Roberts. Nope. Jennifer Willbanks. If you go to the Wikipedia page Runaway Bride Case and scroll down to the related articles, you'll find Media Circus and Missing White Woman Syndrome. Oh, yeah.

That's a big one. Yeah. This story has inspired artworks and academic articles and action figure company raced to produce a bobblehead figure featuring a track suit that says Vegas, baby. Yeah. And a removable towel for over her head. And in 2006, the minor league ice hockey team, the Gwinnett Gladiators,

issued their own Jennifer Willbanks bobblehead as part of a fan appreciation night. A Lawrenceville GA-based food company called Pappy's Peppers created Jennifer's high tail and hot sauce. To quote the product description, Bring Jennifer home to your house for that spicy and uncertain feeling that only she can bring. Warning, this sauce may cause you to seek intense professional help voluntarily. Ooh, that's a load. That's what I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying. That's like all some, like, Richard Geer and Runaway Bride shit. That was that his style. Yeah. How are you the only person here who's watched Runaway Bride? I mean, I've seen it. It's not a good movie. But it's not in my brain.

It's not good. I've seen it many times. A New Jersey man carved Jennifer's likeness into a piece of toast and sold it on eBay for, and I'm going to need you to give me some guesses here. Okay. $500,000. Jesus Christ. He sold it.

It's not that high. You should try again. He sold it for $35,000. How about you? Five grand. The answer is $15,400. Wow. There was like a knockoff piece of toast that some other guy was trying to sell,

but it was going for like $19.99. So that is the story of the Runaway Bride. It's one of the very first stories that I ever thought about doing on this show. I remember it so well when it played out. I remember David Letterman making fun of her and I remember, yeah, no, I don't like it, but I remember it. But that crystallized infamy. It was big for like the 72 hours that it lasted.

It was mahu-sive, and then it just went away immediately. But I remember that photo of Jennifer Wilbanks. I remember so well. Wow. That was lovely. I was thoroughly thrilled by that. I was so happy. Thanks for tuning in.

If you want more infamy, go to bittersweetinfamy.com or search for us wherever you find your podcasts. We usually release new episodes every other Sunday. And you can also find us on Instagram at bittersweetinfamy. And if you liked the show, consider subscribing, leaving a review, or just tell a friend. Stay sweet. The sources that I used for this episode were primarily the Runaway Bride,

a Katie Couric special. I read Wikipedia for Runaway Bride case. I read Runaway Bride caught on tape by ABC News January 6th, 2006. I read the transcript of a CNN live event special with the Runaway Bride, which originally aired April 30th, 2005. I read an update from The Daily Mail by Carly Stern called Runaway Bride who faked her own kidnapping due to wedding pressures in 2005 is now divorced.

And then I read two articles from thesmokinggun.com, a vintage piece of internet business. Those were Runaway Bride's tall, tawdry tail and all eyes on Jennifer Woolbanks. And then I watched a variety of other news clips from the NBCs and ABCs of the world. Our interstitial music is by Mitchell Collins, the song you're currently listening to is T Street by Brian Steele. Thanks for listening. Thanks for watching.