Blank Check with Griffin & David - Aliens with Fran Hoepfner

Episode Date: October 1, 2016

Fran Hoepfner (ClickHole) joins Griffin and David to discuss the 1986 horror/sci-fi sequel Aliens. But how did James go about pitching this project to studio executives? What exactly is Paul Reiser mad about? Could Private Vasquez be anymore of a badass? Together they share their thoughts on Cameron’s masterful storytelling, Sigourney Weaver’s outstanding performance, milk blood, pleasant adult flirting and more!

we'd better get back because it'll dark soon, and they mostly podcast at night. Mostly. That's good. Thank you. Good job. A somber start. Thank you, thank you. To an exciting episode!

Yes! Of Blank Check with Griffin and David! Just, just, right at the top, let's not do that voice. Blank Check! What if we got Don Pardo to announce our podcast? He's dead. Don Pardo Jr. Sure, let's get him. What if Don Pardo Jr.

sounded like, blank check! He is Lice Cameron Jackson. It turns out he's Don Pardo Jr. Hey, please, don't speak ill of our future guest. We're still, Dave and I are still negotiating over that one. You're trying to sell me on having him on the podcast.

We're negotiating over it. Yeah, it was a negotiation. That's one way to put it. Yeah. Who was negotiating over it? Griffin and David, hashtag the two friends. I'm Griffin Newman. Hashtag the two friends. Yeah, I'm David Sims.

Hi. This is a podcast called Blank Check. We go through filmographies of directors. Yep. Who have big success early on. Yep. And then get a series of blank checks. I think we should crowdsource the description of our podcast.

I think we've nailed it. Okay, great. And sometimes the checks bounce, and sometimes they fucking clear. They deposit. Right. We do miniseries. Yep. Miniseries we're on right now is called Podinator, colon, Judgment Casts is the films of James

Cameron. And today we are talking about his third motion picture. Third film. From 1986. Yep. We're right now living in the 30th anniversary. The year of my birth. Really? It's true.

This film, I was... I need to vet that a little more. Do you have a long form birth certificate that I can look at? It's at home. Long form? I don't fucking know. Jesus Christ. It's three months old. I was three months old when this movie came out. Did you see it in theaters? Yeah, of course. Cool. I was into The Terminator. Movie's called Aliens. It's called months old. I was three months old when this movie came out. Did you see it in theaters? Yeah, of course. Cool. I was into The Terminator. Movie's called Aliens.

It's called Aliens. And there's someone very special I want to introduce who's here for this episode. It is my everything bagel toasted with butter. Because, shout out to the members of the Blankies Reddit group. There's a thread going on which is... About how they hate the show. Which is your

least favorite moment. Yeah, it's the most popular thread in our new subreddit that we just discovered. Blankies. Yeah, it's the hot thread. Which is blown up. Reddit's backslash blankies, yeah. Reddit slash R slash blankies. They're all R, aren't they? How does it work? No, you don't want to say it.

I just always like to bring the guests in before we introduce them. No, it's always a good thing. History. Me and our guests also ate a bagel, but not on mic. Right, because I listen to what the fans say, and I want to give them more of what they don't want, and so I have a lovely everything bagel toast with them. I don't like the look of this everything bagel. I don't like everything bagels in general,

but I really don't like the ones that have oats on them. These have a lot of oats, but okay. I had an everything bagel, and I do like oats. On the bagel or just in general? Because I like oats in general. Both. What I'll sometimes do is I had an everything bagel, and I do like oats. On the bagel or just in general? Because I like oats in general. Both. What I'll sometimes do is I'll eat a bagel, and I'll make some oats, and I'll pour the oats into my mouth while I'm chewing the bagel.

All right. Cut it out. That was genuinely gross. Not what you said, just the way you said it. Oh, really? Cool. We have a very exciting guest here today. Yep.

Flew her in from Chicago. We flew her in. Yeah, on our dime. We have a very exciting guest here today. Yep. Flew her in from Chicago. We flew her in. Yeah, on our dime. On our dime. I did not pay to come out here. No, of course not. No. And you're staying at the plaza on our dime. Yeah. We said, put it on our tab. We said, put it on our tab? Put it on my tab. And they said, which tab? And we said, the Underhills.

Yeah, okay, we're doing the Fletch now. I'm trying to just load it all in. Dan in real life, Fletch. Yeah. Introduce our guest. She writes for ClickHole. Works at ClickHole. Works at The Onion Inc.

Yeah. Is it cool that your checks say Onion? I always used to like that when I worked at The Onion. Yeah, it is very funny. It's a check that just says Onion. Yeah. Now, I'm hoping I thread this needle, because I've never had to say your last name out loud.

Oh, God. This is going to be bad. I'm going to fuck it up, because I've never had to say your last name out loud. Oh, God. This is going to be bad. I'm going to fuck it up, right? You certainly are, yeah. Fran. I nailed that. Whoa, whoa. Her first name is Fran.

I nailed that. Yeah. Hoffner? That's really close. Ooh, baby. The P is silent. It's just Hoffner. Hoffner.

Okay. Hoffner, yeah. So, yeah, I was like, I felt like one of the two was silent. Yeah. I went for saying both at the same time because I thought it'd be less embarrassing than if I went Hopner. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Yeah. You did. People usually mess up the vowel. Yeah. They do Hoffner or they do Hepfner. No. See, I'm not basic.

I wouldn't do that. Hoffner. Hoffner. Hoffner. Hoffner. Hoffner. Hoffner. I'll make mistakes, but that's not a big deal.

Friend Hoffner. Friend Hoffner's here. Hello. Our pal Fran. Our pal Fran. I came, I was flown in. Yep.'t do that. I'll make mistakes, but that's not a good thing. Fran Hoffner. Fran Hoffner's here. Hello. Our pal Fran. I was flown in. Yep. It's so nice. First class?

Huh? First class? Yeah, first class. And you had your choice of celebrity guest to fly with, so we flew the celebrity guest to Chicago to sit next to you on the plane.

Yeah. And that choice was? It was my boy Ansel Elgort. Oh, God. No. Don't make me. All right. He's not on our podcast. He'sort. Oh, God. No, don't make me. Don't make me. All right. He's not on our podcast.

He's not. I won't let him in the door. We let them pick a seat, mate. Right, yeah. But they're not going to be on the show. But he just went home then. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

No, he just stayed on. I don't even think he's in New York right now. Old Ansel? Yeah, he's been in Rwanda. Oh, yeah. He's on Safari. You posted an Instagram of him hanging out with a baby gorilla that I watched. Yeah, it's really charming.

He's there for fun. It seemed a little weird. He's there with his family. He's not lensing a new picture? No. He's just there. A new scheme? Yeah.

When's he lensing a new scheme? I don't know. Has he ankled any schemes recently in order to go on the safari? This is a trade podcast. Yes. This is a podcast about cinema. Wow. I was like, we're going to discover it right now.

It's about cinema. We've got Fran here. Fran's a friend of mine. She's a friend of yours. We're just meeting now, but I mean, certainly online friends, I feel like. Off to a fine start. Yeah, it's good. I'm having a great time so far.

Uh-huh. And do you like movies? Yeah, love movies. Do you like Jimmy C? How do you feel about Jimmy C? Cameron? Fine. Jimmy C.

Fine. Haven't seen a ton, to be honest. Interesting. But you've seen this one. I've seen this. This might have been the one I've seen earliest and most. Yeah. Because I haven't seen Titanic.

You should check it out. Good movie. I've seen the first and last 15 minutes of Titanic. You know what you should now check out? The middle two hours and 40 minutes. Because here's the thing with Titanic. You should check it out. I've seen the first and last 15 minutes of Titanic. You know what you should now check out? The middle two hours and 40 minutes. Because here's the thing with Titanic. It's great. It's very good.

That's the thing with Titanic. It'll make you want to jump out of your seat and scream and cry. Yeah. And the thing you'll scream is, I love the movie Titanic. Yeah. I'd probably love it. I just, yeah, I never. No, you really would love it.

It's really the best. I can't believe you've never seen Titanic. I remember seeing it at a friend's house when it was in like its 2VHS form. Of course. I owned it in its 2VHS form. I remember like the hype when it came out and I think I wasn't allowed to see it and then I just didn't ever see it. And I wanted to go when it was re-released in theaters and that was another thing of

just not getting around to it and I should have seen it then. Yeah, you should have gone back to Titanic because the ads asked you to. So I, when I, I mean, we'll, I'll save this for the Titanic episode. We're going to talk some Titanic. Yeah, I was going to get into my history with Titanic.

Talking tea. But we'll talk tea later. Yeah. We'll have tea time a couple episodes from now and we'll have tea two time a couple episodes from now. But this time,

we're bringing our A game and that A game is aliens. It's not the abyss. Nope. It's aliens. No, that's our tea A game. Yeah, tea A game. Someone pointed out

that all his movie titles are either T or A. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Other than Piranha. Other than the Piranha, which he didn't get to pick. Right. And he would have called it Attack. Right. I don't know.

But you go- Parentheses, Piranhas. After Piranha, you go T-T, A, T-A, T-2. G-D. J-D, but still, whatever. No, no, whatever. Go on, go on. T-L. T-L. T. Yep. G-D. J-D, but still, whatever. No, no, whatever. Go on, go on. T-L.

T-L. T. Yep. And then A. Yep, it's true. I mean, I don't count Ghost of the Abyss and Aliens of the Deep. Aliens, A. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. This is one of my favorite movies. It's a great movie. Great movie. Yeah. I would say that this was my favorite movie of his because for any other filmmaker, this would be far and away my favorite movie that anyone has ever made because I like it more than most movies ever.

But I also fucking love T2. T2 and this are probably tied for me. How do you feel about T2, Fran? I like T2. Is it weird that I know T2 better than- No, I think that's typical. Yeah. Especially for people our age.

Last week when we recorded Terminator, that was my second time ever seeing it in Terminator 2. I've probably seen it like 10 times. Yeah. Well, I was telling David that I watched Terminator like yesterday into today

and I had only ever seen like most of it on TV. Yeah. So you went deep. Yeah, I went deep. I just wanted to see it to like have a frame of reference for Aliens.

And good movie, right? Yeah. It's good. It's less enthusiastic. It's fine. I thought... I movie, right? Yeah, it's good. She seemed less enthusiastic. It's fine. I don't like it as much as T2. I agree with you. But it's good, and I didn't know it was as gross as it was.

I didn't know about the sex scene, because I've only seen it on network TV. Yeah, and the violence. It's a nasty little movie. And the violence is very cold and disturbing. It's an upsetting movie. Yeah. It's about a man who stalks women and murders them

with a gun and then he bursts into a police station and he shoots a bunch of them too. With cold calculation. And then there's some business with a skeleton. And tech noir. This film is an interesting follow up because it has a lot of the same themes and ideas

but is done in a much more inspirational way emotional it's more emotionally deep and it's also like you're invested in it's a story of triumph ultimately you know whereas like terminator is like the success at the end of the film is the character accepting how fucking difficult the rest of her life yeah that is true you know it's like a very like bittersweet ending where it's like well well, the guy's dead, and now her life's going to be fucking hard. Future's not set. Yes.

This movie, oh, God, I love this movie. So we watch the- But I mean, this movie is- I mean, the end of this movie is also kind of like, okay, okay, all right, that's over with. I think that's over with. Let's take a nap. And that's how the movie ends, which is exactly how Alien ends.

Which is the same exact ending, even though, yeah. I was just going to say, before we talk about it further, we watched the director's cut, aka the special edition. Yeah, so did I. I mean, I think everything in the director's cut

is stuff that should have been the movie from the beginning and probably just got cut out because he wasn't powerful enough yet to get whatever he wanted done or whatever. I don't know. They wanted more of an action movie, I guess. They bought the idea of a 2.35 runtime.

And I think they just like- Oh, two hours and 35 minutes. Yes. I think philosophically they were like, this movie cannot be 2.35. So they made him cut it down to like 2.12 for the sake- Like 2.10. It's 2.15. But it's a much more organic cut.

There's a lot more emotional resonance to it. So I, as we've talked about, because this will be a recurring theme in the James Cameron miniseries, was a protective mother shielded me for most action films. And then when I was like- Oh, right. You didn't hear this. Yeah. 10, 11, 12.

His mother wouldn't let him watch cynical works of cinema. Or Rugrats. Which she deemed cynical. Yes. There was a point in time when I was like 10, 11, 12 where suddenly I had like more autonomy to go across the street to the video store and get whatever I want. I got really into action movies because it was like this thing I had like not been able to cover at all. I got really, really into the Alien franchise and loved like, you know, that they all existed and I could like watch one on a Friday and then wait the next week at school and doodle Ripley and then be like, next Friday I can rent Aliens. I had a week to process each movie.

Look, that was the way we were when we were the way we were. It was the best. And it was much better. Yeah. And I would also do triple features. So I remember there was one night where I rented the first Alien, the first Predator, and being John Malkovich. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is like the best triple feature I've ever created

and I watched those like three in a row and I was like these two fucking franchises rule. I want to see all the other Predator and Alien movies and then Predator 2, I've never been able to make it through the entirety of it. Seen Predator 2? I've never seen any Predator movies. Predator 1's great. Predator 2, I also haven't finished. Yeah. I've seen it on TV. Yeah. I always fall asleep.

But Aliens I watched and loved. Sure. Watched the director's cut. Sure. Do you own the quadrilogy? I do. I've repurchased it on Blu-ray. I should do that.

Yeah. Now I feel like a cheapskate. But I had, I mean, I would rewatch it a lot, but I think only ever watched the director's cut because that was the first version I'd seen. And I was just like, why would I watch the fucking basic theatrical? But you have a story. You have a story. cut because it was the first version I'd seen and I was just like why would I watch the fucking basic theatrical and then my sister who is

my sister Romley has been getting more and more into film recently and she generally does not love action movies or sci-fi movies so I always relish opportunity if there's one I think that could get through to her and I felt like the themes and the characters and aliens were on her wavelength enough that

she could tap into the movie. And so I had to sort of prime her and go like, don't get caught up in like the technical, the world building. Like, look at the through line. Look at Ripley. Look at Newt. Like, that's the stuff to focus on. That's the story of the movie.

And then took her to see it. It was on Alien Day this year. And it was like the first year that Fox put all this marketing muscle behind like uh 421 is alien day they're trying to make it like they're may the fourth because it's 421 is the planet so they make it april 21st and uh and so they did like a bunch of events and promotional things or whatever and they screened alien alamo draft house organized it they screened alien at uh town hall and sigour organized it. They screened Alien at Town Hall, and Sigourney Weaver was there. Cool.

And Alison Woolmore did an hour-long conversation with Sigourney Weaver afterwards. Sigourney herself. Which was great. And I was like, this is fucking ideal. Friend of the show, past and future guest Rachel Lang was there along with Alison's picture girlfriend. And it was like, she's the fucking biggest Aliens fan.

My sister there. Like, diehard audience. And I it was like she's the fucking biggest Aliens fan my sister there like die hard audience and I was like he's pumping his fists in the air this is the way for fucking Romley to see it

great and then the movie starts and it's the fucking theatrical version and I had never seen the theatrical version which has a lot less of the character stuff

essentially that's the thing like the stuff that I thought would hit her the hardest the 20 minutes they cut out are the things that I think would have pushed it over the edge for her

a lot of newt yeah and just like and you miss the scene of Ripley being told that her daughter died at the beginning which if you don't have that it takes like an hour and 10 minutes for that to pay off and if you're like someone who doesn't really engage with action movies no no your point is made

it was a bummer but I realized like when I was watching it like oh I think this is the first time I've ever seen a theatrical because the other films in the franchise because the quadrilogy set had both versions I would watch both versions and with Aliens I was just like why would I bother like I've heard what they cut out and why would

I bother and like so go ahead no I just saw we get it I saw it on a big screen theatrical for the first time like five months ago and then rewatched this last night and was like oh this is the best so guys watch the director's cut aliens it rules uh i've seen it a bunch of times i don't have any interesting story about it i love alien i've seen it a million times i love aliens i've seen a million times they're like my favorite i've always loved them

they were like some of the first scary movies i ever saw the first alien is like one of your absolute like five favorite movies of all time. Yeah, one of the first Aliens is one of my, yeah, definitely. My dad was obsessed with them. I mean, it's just sort of always been in my like atmosphere or whatever. I don't know. Like I was always going to love Alien and Aliens. And I do.

They're great. We're going to talk about it. Fran, what's your experience with Aliens? I mean, it's the same. It was my mom, though, who like loves that franchise. Your mom seems cool. My mom's very cool. Me and Fran got bagels, as I said, and we talked a lot about our mom.

Yeah, because my mom was really into the genre films of the 80s. So I maybe actually saw Aliens before I saw the original Alien. Interesting. But they were both sort of things we watched, and probably also some of my first kind of scary. I don't really like scary movies, and I don't think either of them are really all that scary. No. They certainly were scarier than other things. They're quite frightening.

I was watching. I mean, it's effective horror in that a lot goes unseen, especially in the first. Yeah. I'd say Aliens is like a very scary action film. Right. But it is more intense than it is like jump scary or whatever. Yeah. And the thing it has in common with horror is still.

It's not as brooding. Sure, but especially with the director's cut, it is such a slow build powder keg movie, you know? It is. No, it's very, that's true. Even theatrical version, it's very methodical and it's very elegant and sort of just slowly building everything up.

So like you don't see an alien for a while. The Marines don't enter until 30 minutes in. Yeah, that's what I love about it. I love it. No, absolutely. And then it takes time with the Marines, lets you minutes in. Yeah. That's what I love about it. I love it. No, absolutely. And then it takes time with the Marines, lets you get them. Yeah.

Lets you sort of like feel like you like that or at least sort of enjoy their patter and their, like, yeah, I don't know. Like everything is introduced very method. I mean,

he's a smart motherfucker. Yeah. But it's like if, you know, if you're talking about the director's cut, it's like a five act structure where it's like first 30 minutes of the film are just like Ripley dealing with PTSD and acclimating to the world that she's now woken up in.

And having to deal with a slightly thirsty Paul Reiser. Right. Yeah. Slightly thirsty. Yeah, he's pretty thirsty. He's a fucking human thirst trap. He answers his video phone without a shirt on. He knows what he's doing.

He knows what he's doing. I love that. Yeah. He's got those sparkling baby blues. And he goes like, oh, Ripley, hi. Come on now. Come on. Her name came up on the video.

This is bullshit. He's mad about her. Out. Me? I have to leave my own podcast? Five comedy points. You don't have to give me comedy points. Just let me stay.

That's act one. Act two is like getting to know the Marines. Sure. Understanding that structure. Getting to the LV-426 or whatever. You to know the Marines. Sure. Understanding that structure. Getting to the LV 426 or whatever. You know, the colony. Yeah, but you don't like you don't see a xenomorph until like

over an hour in. Sure. I think they don't find Newt until like 115. Sure. Something like that. You know? Like the movie really takes its time building up every element and giving you time and here's another thing I fucking love about Cameron and I think this movie does it the best of all of his movies. He really likes process, both in terms of technical process,

but also just the machinery of how the squad works, how they'll attack a situation. In the director's cut, and this isn't in the actual report, all those shots of the bullet counts going down is beautiful on the automated guns where it's like, I don't know, after like all those shots of the bullet counts going down oh yeah on the automated guns where it's like I don't know there's something about the fact that we follow it in great detail like

the rounds going like it could you could just throw one shot it's perfect but the other thing that he does and then he rings tension out of it but he sets it up like he does shit like showing Ripley working the power loader earlier in the film so you understand what it is how it works getting you into the space, knowing all the armory they have. Look, let's slow it down.

But let's talk about even just the fucking opening scene case in point, right? Yes. The opening of this movie. I wanted to talk about this. Sorry, I just looked at everyone very excited. You mean where the machine comes in and it's like scanning everything, the weird blue light. And slowly taking the time to burn the door open

yes yes to solder it open you know it's really so good and it's like silent I mean there's a lot of like sort of ambient noise in this movie like the score of this film was

great but he used to very rarely which we talked about on the Terminator episode as well you know he like uses it as his like Fred Astaire hands to like be a showstopper.

But a lot of the scenes, you're just seeing people doing stuff and it's just clinking. It's dripping. There's a lot of times this sort of hum in the background of the ships and everything. He's borrowing from Alien a little bit, which is a very

aural movie. It's a lot of clicks. A lot of clicking and clanking and flashing lights that it wants to explain to you what the flashing light means rather than just half a flashing light. What I find interesting about his use of it here, and certainly he's continuing an aesthetic that Ridley Scott created in the

first one, right? What I find interesting about it here is in the first Alien the crew is much smaller and they start getting killed off much faster. So the like silence and the ambient noise is a byproduct of like a lot of people. Very isolated. Right. And in this, even when they're large groups will have scenes where it's like the full

Marines and they're like armoring up and they're just not talking. Yeah. And you see them testing the shit out. And like a lot of fucking movies when people have like, especially now that we're in a day and age where sci-fi and superhero stuff and all this stuff where you have these unwieldy costumes, more and more things are like costume

based, right? And these costumes are like, I can speak from experience very hard to move in, like weirdly restricting. Oh, you can speak from experience? I can speak from experience! Wow, that's disgusting. Carry on. I'm excited for you from experience? I can speak from experience. Wow. That's disgusting. Carry on. I'm excited for you. Everyone go rate and view the pic.

It's done by now. It'll be done by the time this airs. The window will be over and I'll know when or not I have it. Hopefully you have a job. It's kind of like how in the episode we recorded yesterday they weren't here for a while. We were asked to predict the result of the election. Oh yeah, we recorded an episode yesterday that won't come out until after we know whether or not america has died and me and

griffin got very quiet and like oh uh well i hope things went well like you know like it felt like a scene from aliens you could hear the dripping and the clinking and the humming in the background um no i just love that there's like you see the testing out of the machinery and he has the characters like not talk but it also is like he takes the time to explain to you, like, how each gun works. You know? There's the long scene where, like, Hicks explains it to Ripley. But also just, like, that thing with the turrets. You know?

It's like, you understand the system. You know where they are. He doesn't have to cut to the aliens. The first turret sequence, they don't even cut to the fucking aliens getting shot. They just look at the screen. No, we get you. And it's cutting between the... Love it. It's good. Okay, so the movie opens with... Well, let me give you some backstory. Okay. Let me look at the screen. No, we got you. And it's cutting between the, love it.

It's good. Okay, so the movie opens with. Well, let me give you some backstory. Okay. Let me give you some content. Okay. So Alien came out. Good movie.

79? Correct. Yeah. Medium sized hit, but like, you know, not like, I mean,

it was a blockbuster. I guess it was a big hit, but it was, you know, it was still like a weird, gross, violent movie. And it was very expensive.

That's another thing. It was very expensive. It was another thing. It was very expensive. It was very expensive. It was 20th Century Fox. It was an Alan Ladd joint. Crazy old Alan Ladd, who we've talked about on this podcast. We love Alan Ladd, Green Light and Robert Altman's dreams and doing all kinds of weird shit over there.

But this is coming two years after- George Lucas comes in and barfs on his table and he's like, make Star Wars. That's what I was going to say. This is two years after Star Wars. George Lucas comes in and basically describes an acid dream to him, where it's like the Journal of the Wills, and he's like, it's great. We're going to give you so much money. Yeah, so he's crazy.

He leaves. But I'm just saying, this is two years after Fox Greenlight's Star Wars. Sure. Oh, you're talking about Alien. Yeah. Yes. The first one, which I think is important because it's definitely in the wake of like, oh, sci-fi, sci-fi.

And then Ridley Scott delivers a very different type of sci-fi movie. Sure. Yeah. But it's special. And they famously, not to merge the spotlight here, but like developed a whole line of toys for Alien. And then the movie came out. Everyone was like, kids can't buy this shit. And they like took everything off the shelves.

They like canceled or like retracted everything. Okay. Because parents were like, no, I'm not going to let my kid play with some penis-headed alien. Alright, so Alan Ladd leaves. Fox is like, the new guys are like, no, we don't want an alien sequel. Then eventually, after a while, there's newer

new guys and they're like, we want an alien sequel and they see the script for the Terminator, which is crazy. They don't even see the movie and based on that, they say, do you want to write aliens or you want to make aliens for us? Cameron, like he's, he isn't even making the Terminator yet. He's getting ready to make the Terminator.

He like secrets himself away and he gives him a treatment. I don't think he gave him a full script. It's like a 45 page treatment. I was talking about it with Rachel Lang the other day. You're brushing over the infamous story. I just love to brush over infamous stories. The original pitch, he goes into the Fox boardroom, a bunch of executives.

Oh, yeah, right. There's like a chalkboard or whatever behind him. And he walks in. Whether or not this is true, it's a perfect James Cameron myth. It's exactly what you want to believe he did. Walks into the room. Chalkboard looks at everyone. Hello, hello.

Silence, ambient noise humming, right? Picks up the chalk, you hear the clank, very crisp audio, well mixed, right? Picks up the chalk and he writes the word alien on the board. He turns around to them and he goes, you get it? And then turns back around and puts an S at the end of alien. And then looks at them

and goes, I didn't see that coming. And then turns back around one more time, puts the two lines through the S, makes it a dollar sign, and then drops the chalk. And the urban legend is that's the original pitch and they were like, sure, write a treatment. That was the meeting to approve of whether or not to commission him to write a treatment.

It is a good idea to pluralize the name. Maybe the best idea ever? And then make it into a dollar sign. Well, I didn't know about that part. That's pretty cool. It's a pretty bulletproof pitch for a movie. It's like that's the two things you need to know. Is that there's more than one and it'll make money.

I'm trying to think. That's a weird thing people don't do in their pitching movies is promise that it will make money. By the way, guys, I've thought about this. I feel like people don't care about money as much. I'm just kidding. Movies aren't about money. Hollywood's about art these days. They don't really care about franchises or brands or anything like that.

It's certainly not money. Now folks, I got a weird hook for this movie. Here's my idea. I'm thinking it's going to be a big hit. Cha-ching! I want people to love it and pay money to see it many times. I'm just trying to think of, what's a movie that was a big hit? Titanic.

Like, if someone went in and was like, Titanic? It's just the idea that you would pluralize something just in some nonsensical way. Gladiators. Dollar sign? Dollar sign? The Mummies. And then you're like, oh,

no, it's wrong. Alright. Shrites his treatment. Shaun the sheep. Shaun the sheep. Shaun the... Let's make a joke about the fact that sheep is singular. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, it's good. What'd you think? It's okay. Yeah, I agree. He writes his treatment. Yeah. He, they like his treatment. Yeah, because it was good, yeah.

Cigaroni Weaver. Cigaruni Weaver. Cigaroni and cheese. Yeah, exactly. Cigaroni and cheese. Sits down with him and he's like, he pitches her in some way or another. She wasn't that into it. He pitches her.

She's into it. Yeah, she was like, I don't want to make another one. But every time she's like that. Yeah. Every time. Every time. Except now when she wants to make one with fucking Chappie. I know.

And why does she want to do that? And just to be clear, we're not being reductive. Chappie is now attached to direct that film. Neil Blomkamp has dropped out. Neil dropped out. He was like, look, Chappie, he's a filmmaking machine. Oh, we're not being reductive. Chappie is now attached to direct that film. Neil Blomkamp has dropped out. He was like, look, Chappie, he's a filmmaking machine. Oh, I can direct the new aliens. I'm a real gangster. Chappie, he sounds kind of like that.

Oh, I'm a real gangster. And I'm shrubby. You can't even say his own name right? I'm Chappie. It sounded like you said shrubby. I'm shrubby. All right. That's my mediocre Chappie impression.

So he pitches her on like you're going to be this sort of, like, woman warrior type. Like, you're not going to be, like, sort of the scared lady running around, like, the bowels of the ship trying to escape. And it's about motherhood. It's about motherhood. It's about motherhood. He might have, like, done the thing with the dollar sign. Maybe he was like, is there a chalkboard? He wrote the word mom on a chalkboard and then made it moms.

And then made it a dollar sign. No, that's the pitch to Allison Janney whenever moms, you know, moms tanks. Mom tanks. Jesus. All right. And then he takes this Vietnam thing and plasters it on top of it. That's why dad's bomb. That's why there's no dollar sign? Because they didn't do dad first.

I see. Okay. All in due time. You have to escalate. I barely remember what dad's was. It was with Martin Maul and Giovanni Ribisi and Seth Green and they all looked pretty sideways mouth on the poster. They were doing a lot of like,

hmm. Gonna look it up now. Anyway, he gloms this Vietnam concept onto it, right? Like, you know, buffed up Marines in enemy territory I'm going to look it up now. Anyway, he gloms this Vietnam concept onto it, right? Like, it's in, you know, buffed up Marines in enemy territory, like, who do not understand, like, the terrain, the enemy, like, who are, like, over fire powered and under, you know, intelligence. Those are both words. Yeah.

And whatever. Like, right? Like, I feel like this is James Cameron's big ideas. Like, we need to make a sort of fucked up Vietnam movie as a sequel to Alien, which is not like that at all. No. Alien is basically a movie about how space is a job now and it's kind of boring and a pain. And when a monster gets on your ship, mostly people are like, like, can we change my contract so that me dealing with the monster is reflected on it? They get a distress call and the first part of Alien

is them being like, no, there's nothing in the prophets about a distress call here. You gotta get me a new contract. I'm not gonna go on some planet just because they're... I love that about it, though. Me too, it's the best. It's just like people trying to do their job. They're just like, Jesus, we woke up out of the fridges.

They're so mad it's a horror woke up out of the fridge. They're like so mad it's a horror movie that that's what it becomes. As like how people should be. Like, ah, we gotta get killed now. Do you think there'll ever be like a studio genre film

where the cast looks as tired as they do in Alien? So tired. Like Alien, they're just so run down from the opening scene. The second they wake up, they're like,

Jesus fucking Christ. Oh, wow. Poster for dads? Yeah, poster for dads. A lot of sideways up, they're like, Jesus fucking Christ. Oh, wow. Poster for dads? Yeah, poster for dads. A lot of sideways. A lot of sideways, not but a puff. I forgot. Giovanni Ribisi is doing the puff cheek.

I forgot about that. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. They should have put a word bubble around him that said, oh, boy. I think the show would have done better if they'd done that. The thing that's great about Cameron, Cameron has made two phenomenal sequels, right? T2 and this. Yes.

One to one of his own films. Three if you count Avatar 2, which is for sure a thing. Yeah, go ahead. 100% pet the farm on it when it comes out 45 years from now. I would love for it to be amazing though. Of course. I mean, it better be good or I'm going to be mad. I'm going to be disappointed.

I'm going to be the one person who's disappointed. I mean, I don't know if you've said this on the podcast yet, but I quote it all the time when we were talking one day about the fact that it's like five Avatar sequels. Please quote me. And you were like, I don't think I need five Avatar movies, but if James Cameron tells me I need five Avatar movies, I need five Avatar movies. That's how I feel. At this

point, I trust him. If he's telling me I need five of them, I need a full five. James Cameron, he knows what I should eat for dinner, lunch, and breakfast. Yeah. Backwards. Yeah. He has made two great sequels,

one to one of his own films, one to someone else's. Sure. And then one that hasn't been made yet but we're already sure is a masterpiece. And the thing he does with both of them, sequels are a weird art.

They are. They're tough. They're tough. He's actually made three sequels, P.S. We were forgetting Piranha through the spawning. Oh, right. Which is not a good sequel. Yeah. They're tough. He's actually made three sequels, P.S. We're forgetting Piranha Through the Spawning, which is not a good sequel. It's not. I like Piranha, actually, and I don't like Piranha

Through the Spawning. The thing he does in this film is lateral move. Don't try to make Aliens 2. Continue the story, make it bigger. Just heighten. And he does make this film bigger in scope than Alien. Yeah, because there was a dollar sign.

Right, but he doesn't do it as a straight line. He goes sideways, and that sideways happens to be bigger. So he's able to have his cake and eat it too, where the film is structurally very similar to the original Alien in sort of the rhythms of how it builds, the slow build to the Alien, then it becoming Ripley's last stand, all that sort of stuff,

but by like whole new cast of characters setting it so far in the future from the first film, you know, changing genres even to some degree. Yeah, absolutely. You're able to like make the old new again, come at it from a new angle,

introduce it from a new space and have a film that works, uh, on its own. And it is like an action film first and foremost, but it's a new space, and have a film that works on its own. And it is like an action film, first and foremost, but it's also like, it's scary, it's thoughtful, it's elegant. And speaking

of things that are scary, thoughtful, and elegant, there is one other person we forgot to introduce on this podcast. Aside from those three adjectives that I just used to describe him. What else is he? Oh, he's the producer of this podcast. It's true.

Producer Ben. Ben Ducer. Produer Ben. The Poet Laureate. Mr. Positive. The Haas. Sometimes we portmanteau into Mr. Haasitive. People don't like that on the Reddit, though. They don't like it on the Reddit, though.

They're mad about it. Mad on that Reddit, though. I'm fine with it being discontinued. Birthday Benny. He's the peeper. I've been forgetting the peeper a little bit lately. How can we forget the peeper? Well, because you've been in the other room more lately.

Yeah, he's not peeping anymore. See, Ben used to peep at us from over there. He used to look right there. He used to sit in that corner. But I have a camera, so I can't watch. Oh, okay. But we can't see the camera, so we don't know that you're peeping. We can't peep you peeping.

We used to be, who peeps the peeper? And it was us. Will you get through the name? We used to look at him, and he'd go like this. I swear to God, I'm going to strangle you. Peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, peeping. We used to be, who peeps the peeper? And it was us. Will you get through the name? We used to look at him and he'd go like this. I swear to God, I'm going to strangle you. Peep, peep, peep.

Peep, peep, peep. Peep, peep, peep. It never got picked up on mic, but I did that all the time. Peep, peep, peep. Yep. He is not Professor Crispy. No.

And don't you dare say it. What you should say is, hello, Fennel. Please. When you see him. Hi, Ben. He is the fuckmaster. He has graduated to different titles

over the course of different miniseries. All right. Kylo Ben producer Ben Kenobi. Ben Knight Shyamalan. You always say Kenobi. Ben Sate. Kenobi? Benny Lane.

Benny Lane. Benny Lane. Say Benny thing. It's still up in the air. Ladies and gentlemen, Ben Hosley. Hey. Do you like aliens? White hot Ben.

Man, I love aliens. I actually. Good opinion. Well, come on, Fran. I just got into the conversation. I don't know, this episode could have gone in a real weird direction if this far into it you were like, don't like it. Nope.

Two stars. No, it's great. Come on, I mean, and, you know, like, just add my two cents. Yeah, I feel like this is great because it's bigger. Well, Ben likes things big. I don't know if you know that, Frank. It's bigger and there's a lot of technology in this movie. And there's more of them. Yeah. Yes. More of them

technologies? I've been on record, I like numbers too. The aliens are bigger in numbers, right. It's sort of the key master's office of alien movies. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of keys. You're really hitting the Reddit faves. Someone was talking about the keysaves because I just read all of it today so it's very exciting that we have a reddit

we love reddit reddit's a great site it's democratic nothing bad ever happened on reddit can I also say I mean I know we're going to get into the plot but a thing I'm very excited about is this movie portrays the future in a way that I love I truly love which is well I just like future smoking on spaceships

and stuff they love to smoke on spaceships and stuff. They love to smoke on spaceships. They smoke right out of the fridge. I always, with both alien and aliens, anytime they smoke, I want to be like, are you sure? No, it's great, though. Is that okay that you can do that? You seem to be on like a nuclear power plant, essentially. Yeah, there's that great moment where Apone wakes up from the cryo sleep.

Played by the great, what the fuck is his name? Oh my God, his name's Al Matthews. Yes. Sits up, immediately pulls a cigar from out of frame that's pre-lit. He's just had a lit cigar there. I think one of my favorite little moments in Aliens is when she uses the power lifter and it's super cool and she's like, where do you want it? And he goes like, ha ha ha ha ha

Bay 12, please. He does actually give an answer. If you could put it in Bay 12, that would be great. I love that guy. He's so good. It's such a cheeseball role, like the drill sergeant, you know, and like that way he wakes up.

He's got a cigar and he's like marine life is the best life we're all skillets in the ham sandwich. I don't know he's saying all this nonsense and he seems to love it. He really likes to be a space marine. But there is this thing. He's so genuine. Talk about Cameron

and how much this movie is obsessed with process and not just the process of them like trying to fight the aliens but even just like the fact that he doesn't just have the laugh that then he goes Bay 12. Like he lets things play out in their entirety. There's a great recurring thing in this movie when like Hicks makes these sort of like quiet jokes to Ripley that he always shows her laughing. And you think about how rare it is in movies that characters laugh at each other. For how many movies have jokes in them? Especially an action movie

or anything like one-liners. But this is a movie where they recognize that like, oh, he's a cool badass saying funny lines. He's throwing out action movie one-liners. And Ripley's like, I like that. I'm a fan of this character. You know? Well, I think Ripley's also like, she hasn't had a lot of laughs recently. Yeah, it's just nice to be with people.

Yeah, it's nice to be with people. So who's your favorite random marine? Do you have a favorite random Marine friend? Oh, yeah. Is it Vasquez? Vasquez is pretty great. Yeah. What's her name? That actress?

Jeanette? Jeanette Goldstein. Jeanette Goldstein, right. One of the chosen people. She is very much a Jew. I like that about her. I like her bandana. Bandana's very cool.

We have... Her first line's pretty great to Bill Paxton. What is her first line? He's, have you ever been mistaken for a man? Oh, yeah. She says, no, have you? Oh, that's great. It's wonderful.

Kills it. I love watching her do pull-ups. She does great pull-ups. She's got maybe the biggest gun. She's got that rigged smart gun. Yeah, where she has to anchor it to her hips because it's heavy. It's a steady cam. It's a steady cam.

Yeah, and they put a chain gun on it. And yeah, she has to sort of swing it around and it's fused to her body. Yeah, they call it the smart gun. It's the fucking coolest thing that's ever been in a movie. I don't know if you guys have ever heard of Star Trek The Next Generation. Yes. That came out the year

after Alien. Alien is 86 and Star Trek The Next Generation is 87. And they were going to have a character called Macha Hernandez that was a ripoff of this character that we are talking about, Jeanette Goldstein's care baskets. They were just like, we need a cool Latin type,

Latina, who's tough. And then instead they cast Denise Crosby and they called her Tasha Yar. Gotcha. Who's very blonde and very- She has a teardrop tattoo. She does. I love that. That's really cool. It is interesting. This movie plays... It is funny that

Jeanette Goldstein is in real life this lovely Jewish mama type who owns a company that sells big bras. She sells big bras. Did you know that? Oh, I didn't know that. That's important. Oh, yeah. Because she's got big boobs and she needs big bras for them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because she's got big boobs. And she needs big bras for them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're expensive and they're hard to find. Everyone's always like, my back. It's called Jeanette Bras. Why wouldn't it be? It's a good name. And do you guys want to know what the slogan is? What?

Alphabet starts with D. That's nice. Jeanette. Jeanette. It's just a nice joke. Jeanette, 100 comedy points, Jeanette. This was her first movie. She was a theater actress.

Jeez Louise. You really got me going by picking Vasquez here. Oh, I love her. I love her too. She's great. I remember being stunned. She's also in Terminator 2. She plays John Connor's foster mom.

As John Connor's foster mom. Which I think is much closer to who she is in real life. And then in Titanic, she plays an Irish mama who reads to her kids, and then they die in the bed when the water goes around them. I always forget that that's her. And that's also her. He would get her back, and she would always be. You guys should listen to Matt Gorley's podcast.

I was there, too. He interviewed her, and she's very funny about all of it. And he would call her up, and he'd be like, this time you're Puerto Rican, this time you're Irish. Like, anyway. I listened to the Rico Ross episode when I was there too where he has Frost. Oh yeah, right. Yeah, who talks about his

Arcturian poontang. Yeah. Yeah, that's the, he doesn't do a lot Frost, but he's, that was a very funny podcast episode. It's a good episode. He's a cool guy. Yeah, I mean he was there on set a lot, so he had a lot of good stories. I was there too. Great podcast. Good podcast. Big fan. I love Vasquez.

I'm a little partial to Hudson. Hudson's obviously kind of like an archetypal Griffin character. He's very much in the wheelhouse of what I like out of movie characters. Bill Paxton's in The Terminator. I assume you noticed him. Yeah. If you just watched The Terminator. He hadn't been in anything, right?

Or had he been in Near Dark? I'm looking it up. Okay. I love Hudson. I love the arc of Hudson. He hadn't been in Near Dark. I love that Hudson is like this, his arc is a deconstruction

of Machismo. Absolutely. That's what I love about him too. It's just bravado and then it just immediately crumbles and then he becomes someone that I relate to. Very quickly too. Yeah.

I guess he's like the type you imagine. It's sort of like the Vietnam like squatty who's just like this is going to be great, right? We're going to like shoot our guns and blow up a bunch of bugs. Bug hunt. Right. Doing a bug hunt? Me and my friends going on a bug hunt. Here's what I like about the movie and this is the only thing I like about it and everything else I despise.

Sure. It's a bad movie. We all agree on this, right? Bad movie. Is that like you don't know if there are aliens or not. Yeah. You know what I mean? They're all humans.

Yeah. And we seem to have, we've scanned hundreds of worlds or something. And then Sigourney Weaver, they're like, why'd you blow up your fucking freighter? And by the way, they can't let it, it's like 90 years ago and they can't let her go for blowing up the freighter. Stupid. Stupid. And she's like, well, there was an alien on board. And they're like, oh, an alien.

I don't know about that. But then when the Marines are being trained for like, we're going to drop on this planet, there might be an alien out there. They're like, oh, yeah, bug hunt, huh? Like, let's go kill some aliens. So are there aliens or not? Rico brags about fucking an Arturian. What's going on? I don't know.

I just love that it's like a casual, like, we don't, it's not trying too hard to, like, explain things to us. Yes. Which I love. Yeah. But he explains a lot of stuff. There's a lot of showing, not telling in this movie. They explain the things you need

to know by showing you how they work. You know? God, this movie's the best. But even just like the Hudson arc, like the first half of the movie before he like comes face to face with the aliens, his hair is all like spiked up and it's all the fucking jokes and he's like making fun of Vasquez or whatever. Although he does freak out when Bishop does the knife trick on him. Yeah.

He doesn't like that. We get the first little glimpse of the crack in the armor. Vasquez burns him pretty bad when she says that he's also never been mistaken for a man.

Yeah. That was a pretty good burn. Yeah. But that's a good character build. You see the little like ooh there's a little dent there. There's a little dent there.

It's my impression of Michael Shannon in the night before. My favorite performance of 2015. He does this weird thing with his two fingers and they have this

weird sound effect. Great performance. My favorite performance of Michael Shannon's was weird thing with his two fingers and they have this weird sound effect great performance my favorite performance of Michael Shannon's was in 2016 when he was in that picture of him in a Hawaiian shirt and jean shorts he is going to get nominated

for that right oh yeah he's a front runner for that picture Michael Shannon thoughts we're big Shannon fans on this show oh I love him

he's a big Chicago I mean he lives there he's a big Chicago he's one of the biggest Chicago's well he's like one of our celebs that we get to be like, oh, he's our- Because he's local boy made good.

He's a local boy. Is he like a Steppenwolf guy? Was he in like a theater? He owns a theater called Red Orchid, I believe. He should have called it Big Chicago. He was like a Tracy Letts guy, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it was like that whole, yeah.

And he's still- Michael Shannon's Deep Dish Theater. What if it's a dinner theater? I've been to Red Orchid very well, maybe. Hey, I'm Michael Shannon. Come Dish Theater. What if it's a dinner theater? I've been to Red Orchid very well maybe. Hey, I'm Michael Shannon. Come get a spaghetti. I haven't been. I think they do serious plays but a nice big dinner. Get a spaghetti and come see

Oklahoma. If you get the lasagna, they give you another lasagna to take home. In the take home box. I just love the idea of it being a musical dinner theater review. He like would. It's like almost like he would, yeah. But people see him.

He's like the person you're like, oh, I saw Michael Shannon. Shannon around town. Talk about seeing him. He was the original Burger Report. He was the original Burger Report. I have seen him, but he was not eating. Do you have a Burger Report for us? No, I don't.

No, it's fine if you don't. That's fine. I don't. If you do. One time I saw Michael Shannon not eating a burger report for us? No, I... No. No, it's fine if you don't. That's fine. I don't. If you do, obviously. One time I saw Michael Shannon not eating a burger. That's pretty good. But it's no burger report. I think he was post-exercise.

He was in workout clothes. So we know he exercised. So he was buffing up for Zod or something like that? For 99 Homes. He was jacked in that movie. Fran, I'll say this to you. We're new friends. And I think things are going off to a great start.

We're two friends. We're two friends. But you guys are new friends. We're new friends. And I think things are going off to a great start. We're two friends. We're two friends. But you guys are new friends. We are new friends. Hashtag it. But I'm not angry at you for not having a burger report, of course. I would never be angry at you for that. That having been said, Fran, I swear to God, if you have a burger report and you're holding out on us, I'm going to be fucking furious.

He's going to be mad. You're going to be real mad. I wanted to have one so bad. That's fine. If you have an orange, that's fine. Fran, my eyes have been peeled for celebs in Chicago. We have two. He's going to be real mad. I wanted to have one so bad. That's fine. If you have an orange dress, that's fine. My eyes have been peeled for celebs in Chicago.

We have two. That's fine. So you got Big Chicago himself, Michael Shannon. Oh, we got Joan Cusack's around. Oh. Love her. Can you imagine how great it would be

to watch Joan eat a burger? Oh, cheesy Joan. She must eat a burger so well. I just said cheesy Joanie. Cheesy Joanie. I love Joan Cusack. From now on, we have to call Michael Shannon Big Chicago.

Anytime he comes up on this podcast. Big Chicago himself. Malkovich is a Chicago guy, isn't he? I guess he doesn't live there anymore though. He started out in Chicago. He lives in the south of France now, right? He's doing well. I think he does. He's doing well. He's Reddit AMA. He answers in all caps, which I love.

Now I have to read that. Oh, it's very good, but it's also just like, man, you just made the choice to keep these on. He's in a movie that I'm very excited to see, which is, I'm calling it Dirty People, the movie. It's actually called Deepwater Horizon. Have you seen the posters for Deepwater Horizon? No, I haven't. It's Wahlberg, Gina Rodriguez. I just knew that it was Wahlberg.

Wahlberg, Gina Rodriguez. Kurt Russell. Kurt Russell. Jane the Virgin. Yeah, Gina Rodriguez. And John M that it was Wahlberg. Wahlberg, Gina Rodriguez. Kurt Russell. Kurt Russell. Jane the Virgin. Yeah, Gina Rodriguez. And John Malkovich. The posters are just their dirty faces. They're just like, they are really stressed out and they're covered in oil.

It's like individual character posters and each one is just- It's just a dirty old face. A dirty old face. I'm going to find- I had a high school friend who just loved John Malkovich and that was his actor that he loved. But anytime John Malkovich was in a new movie, he'd be like, love that he's getting work. And I was like, yeah, it's not hard for him to get work.

Dylan O'Brien as well. Dirty face Dylan. Some dirty boys. Dirty face Jane. Oh, Jane, no. She looks like she is about to cry. Yeah. It looks like the poster photographer was like, fuck your mother. Right before he took the picture.

Big Chicago. But maybe the best one is Dirty Face John. Oh my God. Yeah he's good. He looks great. He looks like he's like describing a meatball

maybe like he's sort of puckering his lips. He's describing a meatball. I'm having fun with this. There's Kurt. Oh, wow. There's Kurt with a mustache.

He's got a dirty mustache. He's got a dirty mustache. He looks pretty good. He doesn't look that different from 20 years ago. No. Don't show me Wahlberg. There's got to be some surprise

to this for me. Okay. It's a good call. I won't show you Wahlberg. Yeah. I'll give you a hint, though. He's dirty. Black and white?

Dirty. Yeah. All right. Let's talk about the motion picture aliens from 1986. What's that now aliens aliens

aliens aliens who's your favorite who's my favorite I think it's Apone Bishop doesn't count I assume because he's my favorite

not a marine Bishop right I just I love him because I love that the movie is immediately like

to the audience like we know you know about the robot trick. You saw Alien. We know about the robot. You know about the robot trick. We're not going to pull the robot trick. He's a robot. Like we're going to give it to you rough front and I just. And now it's about prejudice. It's about Ripley. It's about prejudice

but you get the prejudice. This isn't like a movie where you're like stirred by the point of Bishop. No. I like the idea. He's a robot. movie where you're like stirred by the plight of Bishop. No, no, no. I like the idea. He's a robot. Who fucking cares? That's the thing. He's got to prove himself. I like the idea that the movie has this sort of sub-thread of him proving himself to Ripley.

Yeah. And at the end, after he gets torn in two and he's done all, he's crawled through shafts. Spoilers. Yeah. And he's covered in milk blood. Ripley's sort of like, you're right, Bishop. Like he's finally made it finally you're not half bad and i love he he just seems like when they're chatting early on in the movie and like uh paul reiser again he's such a wonderful slime oh he's so good oh god i love

him i love his dumb collar he has like you know, like future clothes with a weird collar. When he's like, oh, oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah. Ripley had a bad experience with a robot. And Bishop's just like, oh, no. Oh, I'm so sorry. What happened? Like, so understanding, even though like he should just be like, well, we're not all the same, Ripley. Just because one robot busted your head open or whatever.

Love him. Tried to cram a magazine into your mouth, which he does. He and Holm does. I have long said. Yeah. Love Bishop. The thing I think is hardest to play

is a decent, uncomplicated person. Good, right. Which is sort of what a robot should be, right? Yeah, but when I see someone give a good performance as a decent, uncomplicated person, because there's nothing to hold on to and sink your teeth into into because it's hard to do that and not become like saintly to actually have like grounding and coloring as a person and feel three dimensional. But play someone who is uncomplicated, kind of selfless and just like considerate is like really fucking difficult because actors are drawn towards like, oh, the dark side and the struggle and what's their pain and, like, this and that. That's, like, the thing that people like to dig into.

And, like, Bishop is, like, such a perfect example of just, like, this very clean, like, efficient, honest, decent performance of someone who is, like, hated and understands why everyone hates him and doesn't fight it. Right, right. And it's just, like, I'm just gonna keep on being good and hope if you one day want to't fight it. Right, right. And it's just like,

I'm just going to keep on being good and hope if you one day want to start liking me, that's fine. It's like there's a fourth law of robotics where he can't even be mean to people. Like, he's not even allowed to be rude. He's such a good guy. Although he does, like,

do the knife trick with Bill Paxton. Even though Bill Paxton is like, I don't want to do that. Yeah. And you would think he'd be like... Yeah, but he's just trying to, like, blend in with the other guys. And he's like, well,

if they make fun of this guy I should make fun of this guy. We should say he's played by Lance Henriksen who is so wonderful in The Terminator

for 10 minutes. And in Piranha 2 The Spawning. He's in Piranha 2 The Spawning. He was Cameron's early muse. I think this is the last

movie they make together. Is he in the abyss? I can't remember. Well you know what we're going to find out when we watch this. We're going to find out. We're going to find out. But watching this, his face has transformed between these three movies where he's got these really deep lines. He's got quite a face.

Yeah. And he's got a beautiful face, but he has these two deep lines right under his eyes. These very bizarre, specific wrinkles. eyes. These very bizarre specific wrinkles. And then he's got these hollow cheekbones and then these big soulful eyes. And his hair's got this weird flip

to it. And then he's wearing this onesie this green point jumper. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's just like, he's got such a bizarre look in this film. He does. Because... And his hair's a little, you know, he's got sort of odd hair. That's what I was saying. He's got this weird flip. He does. Because... And his hair is a little, you know, he's got sort of odd hair. That's what I was saying. He's got this weird flip.

He's almost got the like Nicolas Cage, Bangkok Dangerous thing going on. He's got the Nicolas Cage receding hairline but without the central piece that they then attach

to Nicolas Cage's head in so many movies. But the hair is an interesting look for a robot. That's what I was going to say. Because usually in the media the idea is that

the robot looks perfect. Like they create a perfect human's person. Or what I love about, well like Fassbender and Prometheus, but what I was going to say. Because usually in the media, the idea is that the robot looks perfect. Like they create a perfect human specimen. What I love about, well, like Fassbender and Prometheus, but what I love about Ian Holm in Alien is that Ian Holm literally looks, especially in that movie, like a smaller cube on a bigger cube. He's a very cuboid man. He's not even fat.

He's just a bit like a Lego. And when he's an alien, you're like, oh, yeah, right. I should have seen that. Of course he's an alien. Of course he's got marbles for guts. But Lance Henriksen is like. You like marble Lego. Yeah. And when he's an alien, you're like, oh, yeah, right. I should have seen that come. Of course he's an alien. Of course he's got marbles for guts. But Lance Henriksen is like, I mean. He likes marble guts. Yeah.

The marble guts are so good. Yeah. He's got this like very worn face, but it's also very symmetrical in how worn it is. So it looks designed, even though it's not designed to be like immaculate. Sure. No, it's like this very interesting balance. I get you. It's a very interesting balance. And there's something very soulful about him, and especially in a film where immediately everyone's like,

fuck you, Bishop. Right. Fuck you, Bishop. Yeah. Ripley, who is not nice to anybody, she's kind of nice to Paul Reiser. I guess she's sort of grudging towards him. Yeah.

She's mean to everyone else. She's really mean to Bishop. Yeah. I mean, I guess the movie is trying to not just be like, we know you know the robot twist. I suppose it is maybe planting a seed like,

oh, maybe the robot will be bad again. But you know he's not going to be bad. Yeah. I also love, what's his name? Fuck.

Gorman. Yeah. Played by William Hope. I have to look it up. Who is the, you know, the commanding officer who blows it. Who's only done like two missions. He's only done like simulated landings or whatever. by William Hope who is the commanding officer who

only done like two missions he's only done like simulated landings two including this one he's got such a great thousand yard stare of horror like when he realizes things are going wrong and I just he's well kept I don't know that guy

is he in other movies like I've never really I don't know him he's great we've gotten through I don't know that guy. Is he in other movies? I've never really... I don't know him. He's great. We've gotten through... We've gotten through most of the main characters. We should talk about the other two big ones. We should talk about Hicks and Newt. Hicks is a cutie.

Mikey Bean, also in the terms. With a real sense of calm and centeredness, he didn't have in Terminator. I like him so much more in this. He's so chill in this he's so happy to uh just as an actor and as a character yeah see the florida sigourney like to sigar rooney well that's the beautiful thing about this movie for me is that like he's just he's just helping out but it's always cited as sort of this like cornerstone of feminist genre cinema And the thing that I think is so beautiful about it is the men in the film

who are heroic are the men who listen to the women. Like Bishop and Hicks prove themselves to be like worthy allies because they go like, you should listen to her.

You seem to know what you're talking about. Right. Right. It's not just like the other guys are like, it's fine, we're going to bug hunt.

What's the problem? We're going to go in there and kill the bug. They never try to take charge. You know? They're like, it's fine. We're going to bug hunt. What's the problem? We're going to go in there and kill the bug. They never try to take charge. You know? They're like, there's no aliens and you're not a marine. So you're just here. You must not be here for any reason at all.

I shouldn't listen to you. Everyone else is doubting her. And you feel like even anyone who believed her in a world. She was like, that planet's bad. And they're like, it's fine. Oh, what's this? Oh, it seems like there's she was like that planet's bad and they're like it's fine oh what's this oh seems like there's a problem with that planet wait it's so quick between when she goes it's bad there and then they're like

oh it is bad there no it's totally my phone's buzzing that's the one difference like the one major storytelling difference between the theatrical and the directors is the directors cuts out the sequence with Newt and her family on the

base, so we never see it operating. You mean the theatrical cuts that out? The theatrical cuts that out. You said the director cuts that out. The theatrical cuts that out, so we never see the base until they land. So we just hear the... No, there's terraformers there. Yeah, anyway. It's going bad. We gotta go.

It's all going fine. I just heard it's going bad you don't get the same sense that like things turned while she was there because you don't see it like it doesn't register in the same way whereas in the director's cut which i love she's like you should get people out of there and they're like go shut the fuck up and then they're like okay we need to send you there to get people out they tell her that and then she goes to like that room where they like project a park bench like right you know and then they're like tell her about her dead daughter they tell her that and then she goes to that room where they project a park bench. Right. And then they're like, oh, here's your- They tell her about her dead daughter.

They tell her about her dead daughter and they say she died aged like 60-something. And they show her a picture of Sigourney Weaver aged to look like 190 years old. The oldest looking Sigourney Weaver possible. Well, Amazon Trivia. Oh. X-Ray. Oh. Fran uses X-Ray.

She confessed this to me. It's a great platform. I like X-Ray. I uses X-Ray. She confessed this to me. It's a great platform. I like X-Ray. I love it. Great company. That's a picture of Sigourney Weaver's mother. Is it?

That's what they said, yeah. So I'm wrong. They had an age... You're right. A 119-year-old. Congrats to her. Wow, real... Who is Sigourney's mother?

Sigourney's father was the president... Jesus, sorry for asking, Fran. I just told you she's in the picture. Sigourney's father was the president. Jesus, sorry for asking, Fred. I just told you, she's in the picture. Sigourney's father was the president of NBC, I know. Okay, her mother was Elizabeth Inglis, an actress, and her dad was indeed an NBC TV executive, Sylvester Weaver. Sylvester Weaver.

She was born Susan Weaver. She was born Susan Weaver, and she uses the name Sigourney after a minor character in the Great Gatsby Sigourney Howard cool that is cool I don't know who that minor character is

that must be like very minor there's only like six characters in that book it's really only four yeah I mean the baby I guess no the billboard is a character too oh yeah and that fucking light oh the eyes yeah I don't know if I'm betraying trust here,

but I'm going to share this just because it's too fucking cool not to share. I worked on Political Animals, which was... With SW. Yes. I had no scenes with her. I was in very, very separate plot lines. You had a bunch of scenes with Mozzarella! Carla Gugino, yeah.

I played her assistant on the show. Yeah, Big Buffalo Mozzarella Carla. Yes. But on the call sheet... Did you listen to the episode in which I compared Carla Gugino yeah I played her assistant on the show yeah Big Buffalo Mozzarella Carla yes but on the call sheet did you listen to the episode in which I compared Carla Gugino to a very nice mozzarella I think so

it's the Lourdes podcast you should listen oh yeah yeah yeah I did but it feels like an unfamiliar joke to me he won an Obie for that comment

I won an Obie for that one yeah yeah it was good thank you on the call sheet which is like the sheet they give out every day

that says like which scenes are being shot which actors are in it whatever people know what a call sheet is okay okay were you number one on the call sheet or two I like the sheet they give out every day that says like which scenes are being shot, which actors are in it, whatever. People know what a call sheet is. Okay. Okay. Were you number one on the call sheet or two? I was not.

I was number 75. Great. Why is my name fucking... People think it's Rick, but it's not. That's the other one. Rick the Intern. Weren't you called Rick on Political Animals as well? Russ the Assistant.

I was Russ the Assistant. They were very similar. It was Rick the Intern and Russ the Assistant. Okay. That was my whole niche for a while. You were on Political Animals. Go on. Sigourney Weaver, SW, obviously number one on the call sheet.

They did not put her real name on the call sheet. Really? Was it like an obvious pseudonym or was it? Well, you want to hear what her fucking

badass pseudonym was? Go ahead. And I don't know if I'm putting her on blast here, but I want to believe that maybe she switches it up, but at the time it was like the coolest

fucking thing. Her pseudonym on the call sheet was Diana Prince, which is Wonder Woman's secret identity. And it was like, yeah, we already draw that connection. She would have been a good Wonder Woman back in the day.

Yes, she would have. She would have been good. I just thought that was so cool that Sigourney Weaver was like, hey, just call me Wonder Woman. She's the coolest. She's a god. Yeah, opinions on...

Let me give you some... She's a goddess walking among us mere mortals. So Sigourney... Sigour Rooney. Sigour Rooney Weaver. Sigour Ross Rooney Weaver had only been in... Only been in... That's true.

Great. Sigour Ross Weaver. No, I get you. She had been in Annie Hall. Alan Ripley. She's in Annie Hall Alan Ripley Alan Ripley then she's an alien right

then she makes a bunch of great movies you're living dangerously boom Ghostbusters oh pretty good that's about it then a couple other

not that good movies but then she's in Aliens so she's still pretty alright so she's still pretty new like I mean she's a star or whatever but she hasn't made like

Working Girl or Gorillas in the Mist like her like other Oscar-y new. I mean, she's a star or whatever, but she hasn't made Working Girl or Gorillas in the Mist like her other Oscar-y movies. You could argue that she was a star, but she wasn't an icon yet. Yeah. She had yet to transcend to movie star, legendary movie star icon. She's great in Ghostbusters.

Yeah, she is. That's when I throw out how boss Sigourney Weaver's career is. The one movie where she took the thankless love interest role was Ghostbusters. You know? That was the one where she was like, I'm just going to play the crush in a boys game movie. And it was Ghostbusters.

Say it like that again. Ghostbusters. Ghostbusters. How did we get on this? Musical guest, Ghostbusters 2. Oh, bad musical guest. Skip it. Fast forward on the DVR.

And your host, the real Ghostbusters. That's enough. All right. What were we talking about? What were we talking about, Fran? I mean, she's the best. She's great in this movie. Hicks.

We were talking about Hicks. Oh, Hicks. He listens to her. He's a hunk because he listens to her. He's a quiet hunk, which is the best kind of hunk. He's quiet. He's chill. He fucking knows when to hold back.

He knows when to fucking give stage. They flirt. They flirt. But, you know. But in like a nice, non-threatening way. Exactly. Couple grown-ups. Yeah.

Especially when, I like it when she's like, come on, you started this. Teach me how to use the gun. Like, that's a good flirting scene. Yeah. Where he's not coming on very strong and she's just like it's okay. We can we can is a better movie

because there's flirting. Yeah. I think it. Well I think that yeah. And Harry Dean Stanton gets some real flirting

done in Alien. So I mean you know don't forget about that. I mean it's true. Yeah. I forgot I was real sad when Harry Dean Stanton.

That's true. Yeah. The other thing I like about Hicks there's some good flirting though I judge a movie by if the flirting

is good Alien 3 has a little flirting I've never seen Alien 3 Charlie Dance that's my favorite aspect of Alien 3

Sigourney Weaver I think their relationship is really well she goes on the dance with him they dance that's Fincher right it's Fincher, right?

It's Fincher. It's not good. I like it. I defend it. I sort of defend it too. The quote unquote assembly cut, which is like, it's on the DVD and it's not officially his cut, but it's something that he sort of expressed. He has been like, I will literally never look at Alien 3 again. It ruined me.

But they made a better cut of it that I think was a lot of the stuff he wanted. That's closer to his first assembly before they came in. And that is a pretty interesting movie. Alien 3 on its own, the theatrical cut is tough to take. It's a fucking weird movie though. Most of what I've heard about it is just very weird. It's very abrasive and it's dark

and it's just set in this absolutely grim location that is visually interesting, but also really just grim and oppressive. I guess because I knew we were going to talk about this, I went down sort of a deep hole of Alien stuff in the last couple weeks on the internet, and I was reading a lot of stuff on the internet.

And I was reading a lot of stuff about the whole evolution of the whole Aliens franchise. And the idea, one of the first writers who came in on Alien 3 had was like, because the original director was, I forget who it was, it was a New Zealand guy. Yeah, it was Vincent Ward. Yes, yes it was. The great Vincent Ward who I also studied in my

New Zealand cinema class, which I took to flirt with a girl whose name I would really like to tell you guys because it's the most insane name in the world but it feels weird to say her name. Diana Prince. Can you bleep it out, Ben, but it feels weird to say her name. Diana Prince. Can you bleep it out, Ben? Sure.

Okay. That was her name. Yeah, I know. I know. They're laughing because her name is the name of a TV show. Anyway, I had a huge crush on her, but please bleep that out. That is the most on-brand crush you could possibly have, David. Isn't that crazy?

Isn't that crazy? Anyway, yeah. The guy who later made what dreams may come yes was originally gonna make alien 3 so this interesting idea that that he expressed in this interview i read was that like uh the aliens the first all four alien films are directed by non-americans true yeah ridley's a brit i mean james is a canuck. He's a Canuck. He's a Canuck through and through. I mean, I shouldn't, you know, disparage him. And then Vincent Ward was going to do the third one, was a New Zealander.

American came in in the fourth film's A Frenchman. It's directed by Frog. And that movie is? A catastrophe. Fucking bizarre. Yeah, I can't watch it. But it was going to be. Have you seen Alien Resurrection?

No, no, no. I've seen, no, I've just seen Alien, Aliens, and Prometheus. Yeah, I like Prometheus. I'm a huge Prometheus fan. I haven't seen it since it came out, but I think it's interesting. I think it's very interesting. I don't know if I liked it, but there's a lot of cool kind of stuff going on. Yeah, I think we've talked about this certainly off, maybe on mic, but it's a good movie if

you lose the aliens. Yeah, I'm a little Prometheus defender. I'm like 5'6", 125. Yeah, sure. And I'm about 6'3", you lose the aliens. Yeah, I'm a little Prometheus defender. I'm like 5'6", 125. Yeah, sure. And I'm about 6'3", you know, 2'10". We're both Prometheus defenders. I'm 5'8". I should just say that on the podcast. Are you 5'8"?

No. Okay. But that's sort of the thing I say on Twitter a lot, that I'm 5'8". Because no one knows. I walked in, you were already sitting down when I showed up to the studio. Then yeah, I'm 5'8". It could be a real power move where you're like, I'm 5'8", Griffin. I just realized, like from sitting I felt like we're like of equivalent sizes, but I realized you could have stood up and suddenly been substantially taller than me. Oh, yeah.

No, I'm just 5'8". Okay, you're 5'8". I'm a modest 5'8". You're a little bit taller than me. I'm actually 6'3". Wink, wink. Wink, wink. Wink. I'm actually 6'3". Wink, wink. Wink, wink. Wink, wink.

Wink, wink. Wink, wink. For the listeners at home, I'm also actually winking while I make this sound. I'm blinking. Yeah, you're really just blinking. All right. Now you're... All right.

Alien 3. Did you actually have anything to say about Alien 3? Oh, yeah. So Vincent Ward... He wanted to make some movie about a wooden planet. Yes, he did. He wrote a treatment that is the most insane thing in the world. He's like, they land on a wooden planet.

Everyone's like, oh yeah, keep going, keep going. No, no, is there a dollar sign? His interpretation. There's no S in wooden planet. Get the dollar sign out of the three. That's what I was going to say. Oh, yeah. I guess so.

Yeah. Or make it looks like a three, but then you zoom in and it's a bunch of little dollar signs. That would be weird. It's like, come closer. All right. They, of course, save that tagline for American Beauty. Look closer.

Fuck. God. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Negative 15. American Beauty points. The worst kind of points.

This is the punchiest episode we've done in like a little while. It's the punchiest since The Visit I would say. The Visit is our punchiest episode ever. Yeah, and that was a Vatua day. That was a back-to-backer. Was it a back-to-backer? That was a back-to-backer. That was a back-to-backer. It's just a little hot in here. You know, it's getting cool in New York, so the

AC is not working as well, and it's a little hot in here. Sorry about that, Fran. I feel fine. Great. The point I was going to make was that AC is not working as well, and it's a little hot in here. Sorry about that, Fran. I feel fine. Great. The point I was going to make was that I read this Vince Award interview, and he said that the idea was when they came to him and he was like, yeah, sure, I do an Alien 3. He was like this kind of new filmmaker, visually inventive, and fitting in with- Sure, fitting in with the people they would hire who would be new-ish directors.

Get people on the ascent, right? And he said like his interpretation was the aliens films were about america right you know they were sort of these like original sins of the foundation of our country alien one is this very industrial movie right and it's sort of about like capitalism right rotation and corporatization and that sort of stuff and aliens 2 is about like war and it's called aliens not called aliens aliens is about like war and it's about sexism, it's about gender. But it's also about capitalism.

I mean, her best line is, I don't know who's worse. You don't see them fucking each other over for a goddamn percentage, which is a great line. Because she says it so casually. But when you hear it, you're like, oh my god, that's a very clever little line. Yeah. Anyway, carry on. Aliens 3, his idea was that it was going to be about religion. Yeah.

And that was the last thing we had to tackle within the alien universe to be able to cover this whole thing. And I like the idea that the film is almost- And it was going to be a weird religious colony on a wooden planet. Right, exactly. And then they decided to make it- Planet made of wood. A sex offender's prison instead of the last second. Correct.

Although there is still a wooden, I mean, there's no wooden, there is still a religious element to Alien 3. They're monks. They're monks. Yeah. But they are all sex offenders who were sent to a

sex offender planet. Oh, wow. And they're all men. She's the only woman. It's a weird movie. I like it. It's a weird movie. It's not as bad

as that sound. Yeah. I felt more so on Wooden Planet. I haven't seen that before. Wooden Planet was a good idea. I mean, the worst thing about Alien 3

is that she crash lands and Charles Dance wakes her up and she's like, what happened to Newt? She crash landed on that planet? Yeah, and she's like, what happened to Newt and Hicks? And he's like,

oh yeah, they died. And Bishop. And she's like, what do you mean they died? And he's like, I don't know, they're dead. Okay, so cute. And you're like, what?

That sucks because you're so clear at the end of Alien who is still alive which is just her and Jonesy. Yeah, exactly. Which is great. And in Alien, she literally to Jonesy is like, you got to stay here because I don't think you're going to enjoy this movie. But you're fine.

Yeah, but it's safely written out. Right. Exactly. See, I kind of like it. I know that's everyone's sticking point with Alien 3. I kind of like it because I kind of like that the Alien films are like anthology films with one character. They span this time

and these locations and each one has to be sort of like a reset. Yeah, but that's just a pattern that gets set by Alien 3 making that decision. It's not really necessary. You could bring them back. At least Bishop. He does come back in Alien 3. Bishop is returning. His weird head. She has to reconstruct Bishop. It's really cool. There's some cool shit in Alien 3 it's like his weird head she has to like

reconstruct Bishop it's really cool there's some cool shit in Alien 3 but you couldn't bring back Newt because she would be a lot older that was one of the

many reasons and also the actress never appeared in another movie again and didn't want to be in movies she's a school teacher she goes to conventions

oh we should talk about Newt let's get back to Aliens and I've said this before and I'm going to say it again the only reason the Chappie Alien film should happen.

Alien colon Chappie. Right. Alien colon Chappie. In which case they would have an older. Chappies. An older. Chappies. What's the S?

It's a dollar sign. It's a shit emoji. The only reason Chappie should direct a new Alien film is so that Juno Temple could play Newt. Yeah,

Juno Temple would be a good Newt. What do you think of this idea? She looks like Newt. Oh, yeah. Right? Oh, I like that. And she's great. She's great.

Who doesn't love Juno? Yeah. Who doesn't love Juno? Everyone loves Juno and she's overdue for like a badass Ripley type character. Yeah, that's true.

I think she hasn't gotten to play someone like that yet, and I think she's very capable of it. That's the only reason I would want that film to exist. I will continue fan casting that until the day I die. I'm cool with an Alien 5. I just don't think I want Chappie to make it. I don't know who I want to make it,

but Chappie just doesn't excite me. His name's Neil Blomkamp, or whatever his name is. I don't like him. What do you think of him? I haven't seen any. You haven't even seen all of Disty 9? I never saw Disty 9. The Free Fire trailer came out, and that's his boy, Charlton, is in that.

And I was like. And he's apparently good according to some people and bad according to other people. Yeah. That seems to be a recurring thing with Wheatley films. Loverham, yeah. But I was like, oh, what have I seen Charlton in? And then it was like, oh, also nothing. So I'm really just not even a fan. You weren't a Maleficent fan? I was going to oh, what have I seen Charlton in? And then it was like, oh, also nothing. So I'm really just not even...

You weren't a Maleficent fan? I was going to make the same one. Probably we're going to do it better. You guys are talking about Chappie. I just thought of this. One of the guys, the Marines and aliens, he looks like one of the members from Die Antwood.

That's also in Chappie. Are you talking about Drake? Yeah, I know who you're talking about. The one that Vasquez kind of likes. Exactly. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They got a similar vibe, similar look.

Played by Mark Rolston. He's cool. He gets burned with acid. So here's my pitch. Alien 5, directed by Jennifer Kent of the Babadook. Sure. I mean, she's one of those people where I'm like, I'm excited to see her next movie. Yeah.

I don't know what she'll do. Hollywood's been trying to lure her away. They almost picked her for Captain Marvel. And she keeps on being like, I want control. I want to do what I want. I think that is a franchise that she would fit in well to that would match with the sort of themes and her skill and her sort of craft and everything. Fucking Alien 5, Jennifer Kent, Juno Temple, Siguruni Weaver.

Give it to me. Newt. What do to me. Newt. What do you think of Newt, Fran? Played by Carrie Henn. Newt's fine. Yeah, I think I agree with that. I find Newt pretty grating sometimes. She's a little grating.

And it's the maybe just kind of hint of British accent that really is jarring for me. Which is especially weird because she was American. Yeah, she's got a funny voice. Which I love. Like her funny way of, funny diction. Yeah. Newt's a little. Her little voice.

Just really. I mean, I don't even like South Park, but South Park ruined. They mostly come out at night mostly for me. I can't not laugh when she says it now. Newt's my favorite. Newt's a real Griffin character. Adore Newt. It's a real Griffin character.

It's a real Griffin character. She's a pretty good version of a usually very difficult to like character, I guess. Yeah, I'll give it that. I mean, the helpless little girl, except she's not totally helpless. She's pretty capable. She falls on a vent.

Why would she fall on a fucking vent? Watch out for the vent. It's like she's been that way before because it's her leading them. pretty capable so much like falls on a vent watch out for the vent Jesus Christ I love I mean it's like she's been that way before because it's her leading them

right through the air system and then she just falls through the vent it's like you've been told this a million times okay but here's

a thing I like about Newt okay so Newt just is she's a little girl from the mining colony the only survivor only survivor

and she's been like living on one cool thing about aliens is that it takes into account the fact that it's going to take them a while to get there. Yeah. And so it's like they get a distress call where someone's like something's up in the

colony and they're like alright well let's get on the ship. And then when they arrive at the colony everyone is dead. But Newt's still there and she's a cute girl and obviously Ripley forms a mother daughter bond with her. Which is great. Obviously like Newt activates the most resonant part. But I think Newt as a character works on her own and the thing I like about newt is obviously there's the thing where early on hudson's like we're fucked man there's no option and she's like that girl has survived

without any weapons or any training right and then they cut to newt and she's just wearing the oversized helmet and she does the salute and i think that moment capsides everything i like about newt which is that like she's a survivor without them ever trying to make her into some sort of, like, accidental badass, right? They don't make her into some, like, oh, and then she fucking became, like, Newt. You know, like, she's just some girl who has, like, happened to survive through resilience.

But she also keeps her, like, childlike nature the entire film. And there are a lot of scenes where, like, okay, so her falling through the shaft is, like, annoying. She's at times surprisingly helpless, considering her sort of scenes where like, okay, so her falling through the shaft is like annoying. She's at times surprisingly helpless considering her sort of general like character type. But I know what you mean. There's a scene where they're sort of debriefing and they cut in. And this is also only in the director's cut.

They cut in her yawning. And it's like that touch is great. I love this scene. I like the way she's like, what's up with your parents? And she's like, well, they're dead, okay. She's got a really interesting balance of this sort of trauma victim. Someone who's had to witness everyone they've ever known die and every night hide out in vents away from aliens.

And she's got this very interesting balance between hyper-awareness and sort of avoidance. But the scene where she's talking to Ripley and Ripley's trying to put her to bed and is saying, am I going to have bad dreams? And she's like, no. And it's like, well, look in your... She carries around the doll head. All she's got is the disembodied head of the doll.

Sure. And she looks into the head of the doll and she goes, look, see, no bad dreams in there. She goes, yeah, but she's not real. She's just made of plastic. Yeah. And Ripley laughs at it. It's like, yeah, you're a fucking smart kid. Yeah, Ripley's like, oh, I get it.

You know what's up. I can't just do my usual bullshit on you. You've got to see a bunch of death. She did that to Bill Paxton. He was like, oh, you're right. No bad dreams. Yeah. I love Newt.

They made a Newt action figure, and they only sold it at Comic-Con, and I kept on pestering the tick people to be like, does it look like we're going? Does it look like I'm getting a badge? Because I was like, if I don't fucking go to the Comic Con, I'm going to go to eBay. Griffin's a weirdo who likes toys.

I have a shelf of aliens, and I want to have Newt on there. You want a little Newt? I was missing amongst my menagerie of alien characters, Newt. I like that dropship pilot who's got the aviators, and she's like, the pipe five by five. Oh yeah. She's cool. She is cool.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a bummer that she dies. Yeah. But that's a great scene. It is because she's so mad at her co-pilot for like not showing up because he was being devoured by an alien. He sucks.

She's like, oh, didn't I tell you to? And then it's great when she grabs her like she she makes a go of it. Like she doesn't just die like a loser. She grabs her gun. And can we note the guy, she doesn't just die like a loser she grabs her gun and can we note the guy her co-pilot who dies just because he has

one of the best last names in the history of cinema is Spunkmeyer and this is his last name yeah and she keeps saying it too Spunkmeyer yeah

the final like skeleton crew of this movie is six people yeah it's Ripley Hicks Burke

Bishop oh I guess seven Burke dies midway right but I mean the hero crew is six people. Yeah. It's Ripley, Hicks, Burke, Bishop. Oh, I guess seven. Burke dies midway. Right, right. But I mean, the hero crew that we're left with is... Ripley, Hicks, Burke. I keep saying Burke.

Ripley, Hicks, Bishop. Yeah. Hudson, Newt, and Gorman? Oh, no. And Vasquez. Oh, yeah. Vasquez and Gorman. Well, they die together.

They die together, yeah. Yeah. It's seven people yeah great little scene great scene I mean really like that scene I forgot that it was that it was more than that look it's 8 people I was gonna say

it's like 50-50 but the fact that there are like three females within like a group of like oh sure survivors

and that they are always presented throughout the film as being the most competent yeah we talked about it on our Terminator pod

Cameron has this like he almost fetishizes, like, motherhood and, like, mothers. He seems to, like, revere them as this sort of warrior type. It can be a little patronizing in both, but it works largely, especially in, like, the 80s when you're not getting a lot of female characters in general. But this one, I think, also has a bit of a variety to it. I mean, you look at, like, Vasquez, Ripley, and Newt represent three pretty different types of women, you know?

And all of them are strong and tough and badass, but in Newt, it's in the form of a little girl who still carries around a doll head, you know? In Vasquez, it's obviously much more of a sort of pop art poster kind of way. What do you think, Bram? No, I agree with that. I mean, I was talking, I'm going to talk about my mom more.

I mean, my mom loves this movie. And she also remembers seeing it in theaters. And the fact that there even were female Marines that are in this movie. And treated with the same level of respect especially Vasquez even just the background ones like even when they're like at the base and stuff you'll just see like a lot of background women like he integrates them more into the military

than most films do and it feels very normalized and it's like not a thing that's apart from that offhand joke which gets shut down right away which feels like a sort of hint that's like we're not going to take that kind of stuff seriously. And that joke also has less to do with the fact that Vasquez is a woman in the

military and more that Vasquez is the most terrifying person in history. You know? It's a joke about her gender but it's specific to the form that her gender takes. She's a tough girl. But no, go on. About your mom. Oh, that was most of it. That there were women in the military and it's just, it's not a thing.

And the whole thing about women in Alien is that they're just like not listened to. Ripley is never listened to. And that's like the thing about women in it that is like both like commendable and interesting and feels realistic to it. It does. It's like this might be bad and everyone's like, we just don't know if how bad it might be. I mean, that got me so annoyed where it's like you this might be bad, and everyone's like, we just don't know how bad it might be. I mean, that got me so annoyed,

where it's like, you have somebody telling you that aliens jump onto your face and lay eggs inside of you, and you're like, ah, fuck you. Like, that's insane. No one covered their mouth when they went in there. Come on. But once again, like, Hicks is...

Thank you, Ben. Hicks is like... What? Don't make fun of me. No, I'm not making fun of you. I see you on the camera, David. Hicks is like the most conventional sort of like gunslinger type in the film. Sure. And his power comes from much like Mad Max Fury Road that he knows like, oh, I'm not

the hero of the story. Right. And the best thing I can do is use my power as a man to listen to what she's saying and get other people to hear it. There's that great moment where she says, like, I think we should go into orbit and then like nuke the shit out of this whole place. Right. And then Burke is like, what are you talking about? We can't we can't do that. There's so much money where she says, like, I think we should go into orbit and then, like, nuke the shit out of this whole place, right? And then Burke is like, what are you talking about?

We can't do that. No, there's so much money. This and that. And then she goes like, well, Corporal Hicks. I also love when she says that Hudson's like, yeah, nuke the place. Sounds great. Dude, just fucking nuke it. And then, yeah, Burke is like, no, no, no.

And she's like, well, you know, now that Apon is dead, Corporal Hicks is now taking command. This is a military operation. Hicks, he goes, yo, Hicks, I mean, he can't take care of this. He's a grunt. no, no. And she's like, well, you know, now that Epon is dead, Corporal Hicks is now taking command. This is a military operation. Hicks, he goes, yo, Hicks, I mean, he can't take care of this. He's a grunt. No offense, Hicks. Reiser's so good. So good. We need to talk about Reiser next.

Oh, my God. I texted both of you a picture of Paul Reiser's name in the credits, and you didn't reply to me, and I was very offended. I was on a plane. Yeah, all right. I was too busy jerking off after you sent me that picture. The mere name. Terrible.

Both of you terrible. No, Reiser's great. Mine? All right. Yeah, I think I'm more terrible than Fran. Fran was just on a plane. The mirror name Terrible Both of you terrible No uh Riser's great Mine Alright I think I'm more terrible Than Fran Fran was just on a plane

I was just first class First class With Ansel So Paul Riser's The moment I was gonna say Was I'm sorry He like no offense And then like Hicks

You know she goes like Hicks what do you think And he just repeats The exact same thing she said And then with sort of A knowing wink Where it's like, I got you. I'm going to use my privilege to your advantage. Paul Reiser's, yeah, yeah.

He had been in Diner. And then they were going to make Diners with it. They opened up a second Diner next door. He's in Beverly Hills Cop, which I don't, I haven't seen that since I was a kid. So the opening of Beverly Hills Cop when he's in Detroit before he goes to Beverly Hills to investigate. Paul Reiser's one of the guys in the office who's like, Foley, what the fuck are you talking about? Oh, sure. He's in it for one scene.

Sounds like he does a great job. He's great in diners. He won an Oscar for that, yeah. He won two Oscars, diner, and then. Beverly Hills Cop. B-H. C-1. C. H. C, one. C.

That was tough for me. So Alien, so he's pretty new. He hasn't done Mad About You yet. And he's like third build in this, I think?

Sounds right. I think it's Weaver, Bean, and then Riser? My Two Dads is gonna come next year. Okay. That's his other sitcom.

You guys don't remember he was on a sitcom called My Two Dad. Don't tell me what I do and don't remember. And then of course there's... Mad At Ya. No, his great novel Fatherhood or whatever it's called. And then Husbandhood.

He wrote like five of them, right? He wrote all the hoods. And then The Paul Reiser Show, obviously. Yeah, which I mean, never forget. Do you remember The Paul Reiser Show? No. It was basically like five years ago, maybe four years ago. It was like an NBC version of Curb Your Enthusiasm starring Paul Reiser as himself.

I was for sure alive. You were for sure alive. I believe it aired one episode on broadcast television. I think they aired two. Maybe two. I think they gave it a big promotional push. It was him. It was Amy Laniker, I think was his wife.

Amy Laniker. Andy Daly's in that shit. What's his name? Why am I forgetting his name now? Omid Jalili is in that? The guy, he was a Daily Show correspondent. Why am I forgetting his name?

And he went on to About a Boy. No idea what you're talking about. I'm going to figure it out. Ben Shankman from Angels in America was in it. Anyway, so. Paul Reiser makes me think of acid wash jeans. And like a t-shirt tucked in. That was his fourth book

was acid wash hood. They aired like two episodes and then they were like, oh I'm sorry this was a mistake. I'm going purely off trust on this. I can't believe I don't That cast that I named is pretty weird for it to actually have happened. I might have just been free associating names.

Hey, Ben Shankman. Andy Daly. No, it was real. And my boss, former boss Todd Vanderwerf, once sent me a screener of it that he got to his house. He like paid for postage to send it to my house and told me he sent me a present. And it was The Paul Reiser show. I thought it was nice. It was nice.

So that's his number one achievement. Number two, Aliens. He's great. He's so good. He's a real fucker. Yeah. I love the way he dies. Oh, it's so good.

He's sort of tricked in the same way he's tried to trick Ripley. And so he's the representative of Weyland-Yutani, right, of the evil organization. What are you doing? I'm trying to look this up, but now I feel like maybe I was wrong about... Yeah, there's no Daily Show guy in it. Now I'm wondering if this is like a Berenstain Bears thing because I watched one episode... Well, whatever. This is unimportant. Al Madrigal is the guy

I was thinking of. Sure, Al Madrigal. I enjoy him. I think I think you have another show. I think so. So he represents, whatever whatever the corporate overlords that are sort of hinted at in Alien. And it is like Cameron decides to flesh out here. It is really just called the company in Alien. A gorgeous performance. It's so good.

Well, I remember the first time I saw Aliens, which maybe was high school. I was very. I was curious if they were going to redeem him in some way because he plays it a little sort of like creepy but neutral. But in the way that like the robots are sort of like okay now I was like maybe the company is better now.

And it's fun to watch that line be played for maybe like the first hour of it. Right. After a while you're like oh yeah. I mean it's around when she's like let's nuke the place. He's like, well, there's a substantial dollar value. Both of us can come out of this being heroes. You're looking like heroes.

Eventually, obviously, we realize like his job is get some alien eggs. Yeah. Into a. He just lied. He straight up lied on the video screen when she's like, we're going to go kill him. Right. And he's like, yeah. And that's the thing.

She calls him just to say. Yeah. Yeah. After having one of those horrible nightmares, and that is a horrible nightwear sequence when she imagines that she's got an alien inside her. She calls him just to say, we're going to kill them all, right?

And he's like, absolutely. Yeah. He has a real bedroom eyes over that. He lied about everything. Two inch screen. He even lied about- It's just a straight up lie. He lied about being shirtless.

He was really wearing a shirt? He was wearing a t-shirt that looked like a chest. That fucking liar. Nuanced. What century is it set in? They've got some great shirts in that century. I think it's set in the 1800s. The thing I was going to say is the beauty of this performance to me is that he doesn't play the villainy.

He knows the things that will be revealed about the character will make you hate him anyway. And he could do one of two things, the two obvious things you could do in this role, which is like be way too slick and telegraph it from the beginning that like this guy's a snake oil salesman. No, he's playing it like a guy who thinks he's doing the right thing. Right. Or the other option is be way too squirrely

and look too nervous at what you're saying so it's clear this guy's lying. He's a fucking he's like an ad exec. He thinks this this is a good idea which makes him more villainous because it's not like he it's the bottom he thinks he's in the right yeah he thinks he's the hero of the movie you have to understand how a company would be like i know every time these aliens get out it's a real nightmare but they're really good yeah and we'd really love to have one yeah so if you could just get one to put on ripley's face maybe she's a real pain in the ass just get her in a room with an alien

you know we'll figure out the rest the idea that that decision could be rationalized you would listen to this guy in a boardroom he's pretty convincing he's got a real sort of like stoic kind of focus to him and he's like sort of defending her in that boardroom meeting in the beginning

because i think he genuinely also believes that like what happened on that shit happened and then he wants one of these aliens for himself yeah oh god he's so good um he is i feel like i mean we're not we're not doing plot in this episode but it also is because the plot is just survival i mean this is you know it is the classic vietnam type movie where it's like they're all gung-ho yeah they get to the thing. They meet new, you know, the terraforming colony seems weird. Like there's weird holes in the floor and like acid burns. And then they get attacked by a bunch of aliens and like half of them die.

Like the sort of characters we haven't really mentioned just get like sucked into the air by aliens. It's such a cool sequence. They go into like the hive. They go right into the hive. It's such a cool sequence. They go into the hive. They go right into the hive. It's all sticky. Real sticky. They're not supposed to shoot their guns because they could blow up

the whole planet by mistake, but they are. They've got flamethrowers. It's a disaster. I love the idea. They've all got these great guns and immediately it's like they're all useless.

Don't use any of those. Yeah, because they can't shoot anything because the colony could blow up just from how it's built, but also the aliens are full of acid. So there's like two different things

I can't shoot. Flamethrowers are cool. The flamethrowers are very cool. I do love every time an alien pops. Like you see one pop underneath the wheel of their car thing. Maybe that's when, oh this might be the goof that I What's your goof? You were going to reveal a goof on your Amazon X-Ray.

I feel so lame how much I love this. Well I hate goofs, but one of the Amazon goofs I think for this. I hate goofs too because I want my films to be seamless and well-made. Flawless. But I think it's when they drive over the alien and it bursts that they're like, you can see a whole egg yolk come out. And you definitely can. And I saw it.

And I laughed so hard at the whole egg yolk coming out of this. It's a good bursting. Yeah. All the goopy stuff in this is this plastic. It's a good bursting. Yeah. All the goopy stuff in this is so good. This is a great goop movie. I love the milk blood. It's a real goopy. The milk blood obviously is wonderful.

I mean, I love that. It's arguably grosser than a lot of real blood things. That's the thing. Milk is gross. Oh, the grossest. It's my number one least favorite liquid. I love milk, but I know it's gross. I mean, I'm okay on milk.

I feel like I'm in the middle of the milk conversation that just broke out here. It's your least favorite lipid. I love milk, but I know it's gross. I mean, I'm okay on milk. I feel like I'm in the middle of the milk conversation that just broke out here, but. It's your least favorite thing? Yeah, it's my least favorite lipid. What are you looking up? I'll save it for later.

It's a segment. Don't worry about it. Whole segment. I can't wait. But it is pretty gross. Like, we all agree, like,

sort of to think about. That's why I think I probably like the Alien film so much, because they have a similar view on milk to me. They align politically. Yeah. It's sort of an Uncanny Valley sort of type of moment probably like the alien film so much because they have a similar uh view on milk to me they align politically yeah it's sort of a uncanny valley sort of type of moment wouldn't you say yes yes

i would ben thank you so much our finest film critic appreciate it i'll just jump in whenever um the aliens pop they shoot blood everywhere i asked i like that the acid happens more than once like it's not just like i wouldn't remember they have acid but like anytime they shoot an alien they are at least partially scarred by acid yeah um it's good love that scene and then it's basically just the the sort of core eight that we talked about that you thought were six but turned out about the acid shoot now does the acid ever stop melting? Because it seems like it could go right through the armor then onto your skin. Yeah, so what

happens, Ben, is it burns through all the way until it eventually goes down through the layers of the earth. That's what I was thinking. Goes through the center and then comes out the other side. Right, so you can drop a pencil. And then it drips into space. Yes. Well, China first because China, of course, is on the other side of the world and if can drop a pencil. And then it drips into space. Yes. Well, China first, because China, of course, is on the other

side of the world, and if you dig a hole, you get to China. In England, if you dig a hole, you get to Australia. Yeah, it's like the stereotype. That sounds nice. Same thing. It's like, whenever a cartoon character comes out of a hole on the other side in England, there's a kangaroo, because they're in Australia. That's cool. That's nice.

Anyway, whatever the hell just happened happened you guys talked about acid i can't remember what i was talking about uh the core group of the eight oh yeah so then they hunker down and they have to like try and survive because they were there because the drop ship is coming it's great it becomes like a survive the night kind of yeah because i love that scene where they're like drops just coming great news and we just see it sort of this great model yeah it's a good model just Just sort of go, I can't like. Like through some clouds.

Through drawings of clouds. Like Elegance of James Cameron, right? Okay, this movie was like a much bigger budget than Terminator, but it still is like by our relative standards, you know, like film budgets hadn't become astronomical yet. Yeah, what is the budget on this one? Let me look it up. $18 million. Jeez. That's pretty

crazy. That's actually crazy. That's actually crazy. That's crazy. Because even present day that would only be. That's like 40 maybe. No I think it would be like 60 or 70 which would still be incredibly low for a film of this scope. I don't think it would be that high. I think it would. Because I think the film made like

80 and in modern day dollars. The film made 85 which is 200 in modern day. Thank you. So it's a little more than double, but not much. I think 20 would be like 60. No, that's twice double. That's not. I'm going to look up a film that made $20 million that year. Have fun with that.

Okay. And then adjust for inflation. What I was going to say, I have no Wi-Fi. What I was going to say was. I'm going to find one. Psycho 3 made $14 million. Too low. I won't settle for that. Which counts as $33, so extrapolate.

I'm looking for $20 on the nugget, and we'll settle for nothing less. Anyway, it was a pretty... Yeah, this is a math podcast. It's a math podcast where we can only do math if we relate it through films that came out in a certain year. That's why we keep our checks blank, because we're still trying to do the math. It takes us forever.

So they gave him a moderate budget. I think the Terminator cost what like six or seven million? I think it cost less than that. Yeah not much. I think it cost like three or four. Because there's the story that he wanted to blow up a car in Terminator and there wasn't room in the budget and he was like well guess I'm losing my car. Like he blew up his own car. You know they like

stretch that to like the limits. Sigourney Weaver was paid a million dollars which was a lot of money for the day and was 30 times more than she made for Alien. Do that math. And hey a bargain. A bargain at twice the price. And she was nominated for an Oscar. Which is okay so It was her first Oscar nomination.

Watched all the Alien films. Loved them. Got the quadrilogy for Christmas right? That Christmas I went on vacation to Australia on the other side of your homeland at the time. One of my best friends from middle school had moved to Australia, and I was like, I'm going to go on a trip to Australia. And I went to Australia and stayed with his family for like a couple weeks, right? Sure.

I brought the alien quadrilogy set with me, and he hadn't seen any of them. We watched them all together, and we watched all the like special features. Yeah. Which is a great way to spend time in Australia is just watching DVD special features. Hey, man, you did what you did. I did the math. I'll do the same thing. Yeah.

is just watching DVD special features. Hey, man, you did what you did. I'll do the same thing. It's $333,333. What math did you do? I think you may have multiplied. What did you do? There's no way it's that.

Are you just saying a number you know? Geez, no. I fucked it up. All right. I'll get back to you. Keep all of that. Yeah. Carry on.

So I, at that point in time, I had been charting modern Oscars from the moment I started watching. But I had like never really like studied the past nominations. We're watching this documentary about like the making of Aliens and they go like, you know, the film was a huge box office success. Played really well with audiences. And then it got good reviews. We weren't expecting Oscar nominations. We thought we'd get the sound and the like whatever sure right and then they said like you hear gail ann heard's voice say but we were stunned when sigourney got nominated for best actress and over that gail ann heard pull quote right that soundbite they just cut to ripley in the power loader and my

friend and i in unison turned to each other and went whoa like our minds were blown we were like wait they gave her a fucking Oscar nomination for that this is a real specific memory you have

yeah I think about this all the time and we just turned to each other and went that's the coolest thing I've ever heard especially when you see her in the power motor

over that fact but the idea that it's like this is so the kind of performance that never gets recognized no it's true yeah and especially for her 1986 yeah But the idea that it's like, this is so the kind of performance that never gets recognized. No, it's true. Yeah. And especially for her 1986. Yeah.

Is that Out of Africa wins Best Picture? No. What wins Best Picture that year? Platoon. That's like- She had lots of women in it. Geraldine Page, Trip to the Bountiful? No, it's Marlee Matlin.

Oh. Older Number Lesser God. Old, young, old Marlee Matlin. The youngest Best Actress winner? The youngest Marlee Matlin winner ever, yeah. It's $33,000. What are you talking about? That was your salary for Alien.

He figured it out. Oh, oh, oh. I thought he was trying to adjust the Aliens budget for inflation, and somehow he got smaller with the number. Yeah, Aliens cost $33,000 in today's money. All right. All right. We've got to wrap your...

I'm sorry. It's the type of nomination that never happens. We haven't even talked about the Alien Queen and I'm realizing... That's what we're getting to now. But for that to be

the first Oscar nomination in her career, to be for a film like this that's not the type of thing that ever gets recognized and also it's a very understated performance. It really is.

It's a quiet, you know, sort of like small focused... Resilient woman. She's... Arguably it's a showier performance in the first alien because then she's kind of like panicking and she's mad and then she's freaked out yeah it's true and in this she has obviously she has to get away from her you bitch like she has a couple big moments but she's very understated she's figuring stuff out because yeah, she is sort of observing.

She shouldn't go. No. That's the only thing about Aliens that you, like, she had a terrible time with the alien last time. Really a bad time. And she, like, just woke up. And she just woke up. But that was probably, like, the worst weekend of her life was the first movie. It was up there. Yeah.

And they're like, okay, well, you know that planet you went to with the eggs? Remember that? And she's like, I do. Yeah. And they're like, well, something bad's happening.

Do you want to come? And she, of course in the movie, she's like, no, I don't want to go. Like, and then she calls Paul Reiser as we talked about.

Well, first she's like, when you say something bad, do you mean like embezzlement? And they're like, no, it's the alien shit again. It's that alien shit.

No, that alien shit you hate. And they say to her like, well, you'll get reinstated as like a warrant officer officer or whatever and it's like she should be like yeah no like just can i go to earth i'm fucking ripley so she shouldn't do it but i love that once she's on the ship she is very like quiet and observant and like doesn't really show her deck of cards like until shit starts to go down. And then she's like, everyone needs to listen to me because the same thing is happening that happened last time.

When I saw the film at, I love Ripley. My biggest life goal is to have a daughter and name her Ripley. I've told you this before, right? I don't know. And my mom has said, what if your wife doesn't want to name your daughter Ripley? And my response is, she wouldn't be my wife. Very cute. Things would not get that far because I have priorities.

What I was going to say was when I saw the film at Town Hall and Sigourney spoke afterwards, there was a woman sitting next to my sister and I who was very intense the whole film. Right. There was this woman sitting by herself who was very intense. My sister was even like, that woman's intense. And she got up and she asked the first question. She said, hey, I served. I did three tours. You were always an inspiration to me. That's cool. And she got up and she asked the first question. She said, hey, I served. I did three tours.

You were always an inspiration to me. That's cool. Watching the films as a young girl. And then now that I've gotten back and had to reacclimate, I watch the films and I see that Ripley, especially in this film, is one of the best portrayals of PTSD I've ever seen in a movie. Very traumatized. Yeah.

Yeah. Especially that scene in the colony where they find the woman who's been wrapped up and her chest starts to get an alien coming out of it. That's how you describe that, right? She's watching on video. She's not even there and the way she reacts to it

is quite good. The thing I find beautiful about this performance is she is playing someone suffering from PTSD, but she is playing a, you know, a someone suffering from PTSD. But she is playing someone who is not defined by that, which is a very unshowy way of doing that. Like she doesn't have her sort of big breakdown scenes. There are very small cracks and it is someone who just is like trying to keep moving forward. Yeah.

And on a sort of bend technology technology type tangent when you mentioned the screens a big thought I had watching the movie this time is like HD video has really

ruined like a certain kind of tension in like genre films like this because there's a beautiful language to like having film

and it's like fucking 35 millimeter and it looks rich and then you cut someone look at something on a monitor and it's like grainy and now like the rich and then you cut to someone looking at something on a monitor and it's like grainy. And now like the monitor looks the same as the movie

because both things are shot on like high def video. I love like the fucking video call. Yeah, video's great. I love when they're watching the security foot. Like all that shit is like unnerving when they're way zoomed in on like a pixelated screen. Yeah. Let's talk about the queen.

What do you think of the queen frame? She's gross. Yeah. Let's talk about the queen. What do you think of the queen frame? Ugh. She's gross. Yeah. They really hone in on how fucking gross bugs are. At the end of the day, it's a movie about bugs and they're gross.

Big bugs. She's awful. Oh, God. She is awful. She's not nice. That's like a scary, big, like gross thing

that kind of like, hearing them scuttle in this is like yeah when there's more than one of them it's really just the sound editing

and mixing of this is amazing when it removes itself from the like egg sack oh my god that is so disturbing and gross

that's the only thing Cameron designed obviously he retained the they like tweaked him a little bit but the aliens basically look the same

but he designed the queen himself he him a little bit but the aliens basically look the same. But he designed the queen himself. He's a weirdo that guy. Jimmy C. He's gross. Do you think that the head in the mouth has any say in decision making? You're questioning whether the head in the mouth has a mind of its own? Yeah.

It's like the little guy working inside the brain. Yeah. Like in Men in Black. Like a guado. Is that what it is? Guado. Thinking of guado. Thanks. I've never met someone who references guado more and gets it wrong. Says his name wrong every time. Guys, I gotta pee. You keep talking.

Okay. Oh, wow. This is a first. It's a first. I really gotta pee, though. That's why I feel like I got a while to go. Should we do a pee break? No, I feel like we should talk about something. Yeah, we should just talk about. Okay.

What's someone we can talk about now that David isn't here? Oh, this is great. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, what do you think of David's shirt? It's okay. He told me he was wearing a different shirt. Earlier today?

Yeah, when we were, like, in a meetup. He's like, I'm wearing this shirt, but it's a different shirt. That's a weird thing to say. Wait, so when you met up with him, he was wearing a different shirt, or he told you that he had just changed? He was like, I was like, look for me, I look like this. And he was like, I look like I'm wearing this shirt. But then it was this shirt.

Interesting. He self-corrected by a text, but it was like a weird practical joke. So you know- I'm like a lone girl in New York City. Yeah. I just got here. You're like Ripley, stranded on planet LV421. And I'm like being lied girl in New York City. Yeah. I just got here. You're like Ripley stranded on planet LV421. And I'm like being lied to by a friendly person.

Right. God, I'm so glad I asked this question. I know what's going to be opening up here. Okay, so let's describe it to the listeners at home. It's like a very nondescript navy blue polo. Stripes? No stripes. Solid.

Are you sure? And I don't, I think it's solid. You both have been sitting in the room with it for like over two hours. This is a test of how attentive we are. But they're blue stripes. Wait, what's going on guys? Tell me. The striping is so light. Oh.

I've been looking at this whole time. Griffin thought you had a solid colored shirt. The striping is thin and light. It's very thin. It's very thin and it's very light. My favorite thing about boys is they struggle with color. Interesting. Men are more colorblind than...

Yeah, well, sure. Isn't that actually scientifically true? More men are colorblind than women? Well, I don't see color. Politically. I'm good with color. I've just gotten really into purple. Yeah?

Yeah, I've been wearing purple a lot. Dark? Light? Both. Lilac? Lavender? I don't know. I can't go too light, but yeah, purple.

I think you could. I think you could. Really? Yeah, I don't know if- Talking like grape soda light? What? Or no? What's like a real light purple?

Like a lilac. Oh, that's a good example. Yeah, I guess grape soda. I say move. Move. Move. Maybe British. British thing.

Fuchsia. Ben, I don't know if I'm putting you on blast here, but you recently confided to me that you've been sort of mulling over a alien to alien style lateral move into the world of fashion. Oh, sort of, yeah. I like fashion. Wait, you think Ben's going to be a fashionista? Ben told me that he's thinking

more in terms of fashion these days. He's kind of interested in stepping into the fashion world. I am, actually. So if anybody out there wants to book me for a shoot or get my opinion, I can consult on trends and fashion.

Do you have a favorite trend right now? Yeah, I actually really like the sweatshirt or just sweater in general, kind of oversized, boxy kind of cut that has a similar sort of tone but extra long t-shirt underneath. That kind of layering I feel like is really hot. Sounds quite bad. It's really cool. Sounds like Shrek.

How dare you. Don't kill Ben's dream. I told Ben last week I invited him to a fashion week party and he was like, oh man, that's a bummer because that's what I'm trying to get into these days. He sounds like Brendan Fraser in Encino Man. Oh man. Ben is valiantly

trying to step forward into the world of fashion. Hey, I've been reading GQ. Oh, yeah. That stands for Gentleman's Quarterly. Yeah. But it comes out every month. I know. It's fucked up.

But hey, they should call a GM. I think there's already a thing. It's called that. Oh, yeah. The cars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or the people who run sports teams. The business side.

Oh, yeah. General managers. They don't own those initials. No, they do. They do, Ben. But the company sort of does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or the people who run sports teams. The business side. Oh, yeah. General managers. They don't own those initials, but the company sort of does. Yeah. All right. What's going on? Guys, we're just going off on a tangent. I had to pee in the box.

We haven't even played the box office game, and you have some segment lined up that's going to be a nightmare, I'm sure. I love this movie. I think it's a masterpiece. They kill the alien queen. Alien queen's great. I like the bug mapping thing because that's a new element.

They don't really do the bug mapping thing on this. Early on, they have Hudson tease it out. It's like they always, they set up everything in this movie slowly and diligently.

But he goes like, what if there's like one, where'd the eggs come from? Like ants. And they're like, bigger than ants, Hudson. And he's like, but you know,

they have a queen. But I love that too is they like have Hudson spew this like, there must be a queen that's shooting them out and there's like thousands of them. And like, you know, they have a queen. But I love that, too, is they, like, have Hudson spew this, like, there must be a queen that's shooting them out. And there's, like, thousands of them. And, like, you have him deliver that at hour, like, one, minute 15.

So you're like, wait, but Hudson's the fucking idiot. Of course he's wrong about this. And then, like, boom, baby. Hudson was right. Big old queen butt. It's interesting that they've, like, presumably done bug hunts before because they were just like, duh, another bug hunt. And then they wouldn't have had alien, like bug aliens that also have a, like, that's

a pretty standard sort of bug community form. Well, yes. It's true. Yes, Fran, yes. They have done bug hunts before. It is implied in the body of the film, but in the words of Switch, not like this. Not like this. Switch would have been good.

Switch would have been great in this film. APOC would have been great. Lucien and APOC. Yeah. APOC and APON. Exactly. I would have been great in this film. APOC would have been great. Lieutenant APOC. Yeah. APOC and APON. Exactly. I'm pitching that to CBS this fall. That's great.

Bring them back. Those two guys. Box office game. Oh, you want me to play the box office game? Aliens 10 out of 10 masterpiece. I don't think I'm going to do well. Well, the movie came out July 18th, 1986. I had been born on April 24th, 1986.

Congrats. Humblebrag. Yeah. The Mets are on the way to their last World Series victory, but it's still ongoing. Not my podcast. Aliens opens number one at the box office with $10 million. Which at the time was a blockbuster opening weekend.

Quite a big opening. $10 million on what, like 1,200 screens? 1,400 screens. I mean, that would have been huge at the time. Very big at the time. It ends up with 85 domestic. If something makes 10 million opening weekend now, it's a disaster. Yeah, no, totally.

So it opens great and it's the number one film of the weekend and do you want to guess number two? It's a sequel. Number two is a sequel. I believe the last scene takes place on a helicopter it's a great clue for me

it's so useful the reason I think of that is because I think the last scene of this film takes place on a helicopter and then the first scene of the next film because there is a third part is a little later and the actor has gotten considerably older and heavier

but it's it like switches right to the like the next moment in time it's not a rambo picture is it it's not a rambo but it's gonna be hard for you to guess this yeah it was a huge hit it was based on it was a sequel to one of the biggest hits of the decade it's a it's a weird one it's a it's a weird one. It's a weird one. Give me the genre. Inspirational kids movie? Problem child? What? Oh, God.

God, how do I sum up this movie? Helicopter. One of the main actors has gotten heavier between two and three. It's inspirational kids movie. The first movie got an Oscar nomination for supporting actor. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Karate Kid Part 2. That's right. The Karate Kid Part 2. Karate right. The Karate Kid Part 2.

Karate Kids. No, they didn't do that. No dollar sign. I liked it. Number three is a great entry in one of the greatest trends of 80s Hollywood cinema, which is that Danny DeVito was a movie star. Ruthless people? Yes.

Remember when Danny DeVito was a top-billed movie star? Like a leading man. For a while. They'd be like, yeah, we should have another movie where Danny DeVito is the star of the film. Yeah. You know Danny DeVito? He'll be the star. The greatest encapsulation He's from

films. The greatest encapsulation of white male privilege. I mean, you know, look, leave daddy alone. Look, an immense talent, but I'm just saying, not a conventional matinee idol in any way. Another non-conventional matinee idol is at number

four in a comedy film. A comedy film? Starring an older comedian who was very popular in the 80s. Well, it has to be Rodney. And was and was it back to school it was back to school i'm giving you big hints but they're good yeah i mean yeah you're not gonna guess fucking back to school otherwise rodney uh how do you feel about back to school friend do you have an opinion on the karate kid part two ruthless people or back to school never seen any of these i don't i'm 19 years old yeah that's true and you are a 5'8". 5'8", 19.

Ben Press, about 240. Yeah. I have seen Karate Kid 2. I have not. I have not seen the first one. I've seen the first one. Have you seen the swank one? I have not seen the next Karate Kid. That's the fourth, right? That's the fourth. Karate Kid 3 is where Ralph Macchio is like

deep into his various substance addictions and just does not look good. From the Rob Lowe roast. Yeah, they really lit into him in that Rob Lowe roast. Oh, right. Yeah, it's Ralph Macchio from the Rob Lowe roast. You know, the great comedian Ralph Macchio.

He did a great job roasting at the roast. Did you see his set at the Trump rally? That was unbelievable. His new 10 is so good. He's got this tight 10. Macchio tight 10. Match your tight 10. Yeah, he's got a chunk on immigrants.

Great. Number five is a hugely successful film about men who love each other. About men who love each other. They love each other so much but they don't know how to tell each other.

It's a buddy picture? There's some buddies. There's some rivalries. You know, some good times. There's a lot of abs oh Top Gun

Top Gun I was gonna say City Slickers not a lot of abs in City Slickers yeah that's what I decided not a lot of Billy Crystal's

abs in that one watch it again Bruno Kirby's ripped in that movie how do you guys feel about Top Gun I've like Terminator

I've only seen it like bits and pieces on TV. Okay. Seems fun. I like movies where men are nice to each other. Yeah, they're nice. I mean, they're a little mean, but they love each other. Like Titanic, I saw the 3D re-release and liked that. There was a 3D re-release? It was actually really well done. Oh my, oh my.

I had a long conversation with Fran about ER earlier and so we did talk about Anthony Edwards. Oh, Tony Edwards? Although we didn't say him by name. Tony. Dr. Green and Goose. Tony Edwards.

About Last Night is in the top 10. Oh. We've got Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Oh, yeah. That was a big one. Big Chicago. Yeah, Big Chicago. I'd say Michael Shannon's Big Chicago, Ferris' Little Chicago.

You've got a film by a director who you've worked with, Ivan Reitman, called Legals with Robert Redford. You've got Running Scared. You've got something called Club Paradise. That's a Ramis picture. Harold Ramis picture. Yeah, with Robin Williams and Peter Atul. That's like the forgotten Ramis. So Ramis had two films in the top ten.

He directed Back to School. No, he didn't. Yeah, he did. He directed Back to— No, he only wrote it. Thank you. I'm not. He directed Back to School. No, he didn't. Yeah, he did. He directed Back to... He only wrote it. Thank you. I'm not sure who directed it, actually. He was credited at the top of Box Office Mojo,

but they don't do their homework. That was Kieslowski directed Back to School. Oh, boy. What a wild weekend. That's a wild weekend. Alan Metter. Nice things to pick from. Yeah, it's a fun weekend, right?

And the box office. this is why I like the game. Oh, I love this game. I wish it was like... The whole podcast? Oh, no. I was just saying, if this was in the past 10 years, I would do a better job of it. But it's tough. I'm so young. Yes, you're just 19 years old. 14 and a half.

Fran's been aging down while we've been recording this. Fran's been Benjamin Buttoning pretty hard. Film won two Oscars. Fran's been Benjamin Buttoning pretty hard. Film won two Oscars, Sound Effects Editing and Visual Effects, and was nominated for Editing, Score, Art Direction. Best fucking actress. And Best Actress and Best Sound. To which Jack Teague and I went, whoa, whoa.

She was also nominated, Sigourney was also nominated for Golden Globe. And, yep, she didn't win the film won the Hugo Award for best dramatic presentation did it not win an honorary Oscar for coolest fucking movie of all time

it did they gave it that that was the Thalberg that year was yeah David Lean presented it it was a good time Aliens

so now Cameron's the big king shit he's king shit. He's king shit. Now he has a blank check, I would say. And he's like, I want to make an underwater romance movie. I'm going deep. Yeah.

Under the sea. Because I feel like the abyss is deep. That was his pitch for the abyss was he just sang under the sea. A movie that had not come out yet. But he went to Alan Menken. What's your awful bit that you want to do? It's not awful. First of all, it's not awful. Great.

Second thing I want to say is- David, give him a chance. I'm sorry. The Redditors are going to be real mad at me. Well, they're already angry because they ate the bagel. The first thing I want to say is, famously, they filmed this picture in England. In the United Kingdom. Pinewood. And everybody

at Pinewood Studios, which is where I visited. Oh, I know where he's going with this. Everybody in Britain, on the crew, was like, fuck this guy. We love Ridley Scott. Like, who's this nobody child coming in to direct this movie? And Cameron, you know, is known for not really having... He's a bit of a bossy pants.

He's a bossy pants. You know, he inspired the Tina Fey book. He inspired the Tina Fey book and Tina Fey's whole career. Right. Those are his hands. They're his arms on the cover. But also, the book was originally supposed to be about James Cameron, and he wouldn't allow it, so she had to change the name to Tina Fey.

Yeah, I mean, she pitched a James Cameron memoir. She didn't want to write about herself. She wanted to write about James. You know, he forced her hand, but he did give her his hand. Yes. But only for the cover. His big man hands. He's actually looking very skinny these days. It's a little weird. Have you seen him recently?

Yeah. I'm worried. I mean, I'm sure he's fine. Maybe he's just stressed. I'm going to show you a pic. He's stressed. He's got five Avatar movies to make. He, you know, it's known for not having, like, bedside manner. He's, like, just knows what he wants. He's exacting.

He doesn't mince words. He gets it. England film production was a little more proper. They go on tea breaks. They work shorter hours. Apparently they would go on tea breaks. I mean, get over it, buddy. He like flipped out about it.

There was like a whole thing. I mean, uh, Sigourney talked about this at like. That's a wild picture also. It's a great picture. I just showed Fran a picture of James Cameron and Sigourney Weaver on the Toruk The First Flight red carpet with two Cirque du Soleil performers in body stockings.

God. Body stockings. We saw this show, Fran. Yeah, I heard. It's her bonus episode. Sigourney looks like she's just gone from thrilled to horrified. Like that we're watching the transition happen. Her eyes are so afraid.

Did you like it? It was an adventure. It was an interesting time that we're going to talk about on the pod. Sigourney told this story. It was my idea. I take full responsibility. I'm happy I saw it. Yeah.

I don't think it was a great show. I'm happy we went. Yes. That's a better way to put it. I got a great hoodie out of it, but spoilers. Go on. I don't want to misquote this story, but I feel like what I remember was there was something where they wanted them to work overtime.

Sure. And they were angry about that and they wouldn't pay for it and Sigourney threatened to quit unless they paid everyone Sigourney did something awesome right right right but like they were sort of at odds the whole time with him they didn't like him when they started to see like the dailies they were like oh I guess this guy's fucking good but they were sort of arms crossed and he started rallying them together and after a couple weeks of rough going, he like got everyone together and they all fought for his vision

and then apparently he got up on like a soapbox and gave a speech at the wrap that was like I want, Ben? Yeah, oh, okay alright, hold on, I'll get it Ben's got it Oh, the soapbox Oh, we're doing this bit again?

This is not a good bit. It's one that we're doing a lot of. Let me walk up the soapbox. Yeah. You haven't listened to the episode yet, but we did a stupid bit like this a few weeks ago. I'm James Cameron. He gave this speech that was like,

I want you to know you're the laziest bunch of pieces of shit i've ever worked for this is unacceptable thank you for making my movie i will never work with you ever again you have no future in this business and just like fucking told all of them off uh-huh and i think this movie was like a turning point for him where he's like i don't fucking care right he's just i'm a mean he's got a blank check and b he was like i'm making the movies i want classically feelings be damned. The crew of The Abyss, we'll talk about it next week,

got shirts printed out that said, life's abyss, and then you die. And they did not like working for James Cameron. It's nice to do any job where you get a shirt, though. That is true. And they did thank him later, personally, each one of them, for letting him get a shirt. See, now, Griffin, I thought you were going to tell the story of the original DP of the

film. Oh! He did fire the original DP and replace him. He almost fired the editor too. David what's the name of that gentleman? Oh shit I don't know. You seem to know. Dick Bush. It is true It's his name He wanted to light

The whole movie brightly What kind of a moron Is this Dick Bush And Cameron was like No And he was like We're gonna light it Or I'm not making the movie

So they fired him And they replaced him With Adrian Biddle Couldn't help myself Who did a great job The look at this movie is unbelievable. A lot of it was shot at Acton Lane Power Station in London. The sort of power plant shit in the nest.

So that's cool. I love a good warehouse movie. Yeah, I agree. It's a good warehouse movie. Could have used more sparks. Terminator ends with a big warehouse. And Terminator 2 ends with a smelting factory or whatever. I feel like when we were kids

we thought that a lot of movies when we were kids ended with like, and then they go to a factory that makes lava. When we were kids lava was like a really important substance. And like kind of scary. Very scary. And I think I thought there was a lot of lava in the world

that was an issue. Yeah, I was afraid. That you were going to fall in lava. I mean Mario I and I think I thought there was a lot of lava in the world. Yeah. Yeah. I was afraid that you were going to fall in lava. I mean Mario as well. He falls in lava sometimes. Yeah. It was like a really

prevalent threat for a long time and now I don't even think about lava. You don't. When would you ever think about lava? I don't know.

Great. I agree. Lord of the Rings ends with lava. Lord of the Rings. I think it's the last time I was sort of like huh.

That's the last time someone needs to throw something in lava to get rid of it. Yeah. I mean, Tolkien, very inspired by Terminator 2. Revenge of the Sith. Who's by lava? Revenge of the Sith. Revenge of the Sith has lava, of course. You've never seen it.

No, I've never seen it. I'm not 100% about this. I'm not 100%, but I feel like Volcano has lava in it. The Coast is Toast? Oh, yeah. I bet Pompeii did, but I never saw it. Pompeii probably had some lava. Probably tried to reinvent.

With Kit Harington? Yeah. Hey, thanks for reminding me that Pompeii existed. Yeah, it was a good time. I forgot about that. It sure did. It sure did, Griffin. The year is 1986.

I can't believe Ben put this fucking shit in the desk for the stupid bit. This is the grossest looking fan I've ever seen. It's covered in grease and dirt. Yeah, go ahead. Hey, David, you've ruined the bit, though. That's the soapbox. The year's 1986 what? I was born,

which is great. Congratulations. I'm a Taurus. Fox launches no merchandising campaign because the campaign for Alien, the original Alien in 1979, was so disastrous. The parents protesting. You mean the merchandising campaign. The ad campaign for Alien, the original Alien in 1979, was so disastrous. The parents protesting and the items. Well, you mean the merchandising campaign. Yes.

The ad campaign for Alien is the greatest in the universe. But the merchandising campaign was a disaster. I might side with parents this one time. Yeah. Maybe parents maybe had a good idea there. 1906, no merchandise, right? But then the mid-90s come along.

Early 90s, rather. You know, some years pass. Sure. And Fox, new regime, gets really into the idea of getting the Alien franchise back up on its feet. At this point, they're starting to percolate Aliens 3, Aliens 4. They have eight different writers writing scripts for two different movies at the same time. They're like, let's do two back-to-back. Let's get Ripley this. We want to get Alien back on the radar.

The Neuromancer guy wrote a treatment that's pretty good. Anyway carry on. So they decide they're going to do an Alien Saturday morning cartoon show called Operation Aliens

Really? In which all the original Marines are still alive and they're just bug hunting every week. That sounds nice. But all of them have been reborn

as like weird half cyborg people with backwards caps and like graffiti t-shirts. What? A little less nice. There is. But you just like the idea of them being back. It's nice when friends are back. And they just, yeah. To hang out and

hunt bugs. So the show, they like create like key art and they go to companies and they're like. There's a comic book, yeah. Make puzzles. This was a poster. Okay. They were like make puzzles, make bed sheets. Right. You know, like here's the key art of what it's all going to look like. And they did test animation of this.

And this is Drake with a laser on his face. They're all gridded. And they're all sort of G.I. Joe. It still looks pretty intense, though. I think this was probably early 90s X-Men style. Big guns, big muscles. This is Apone with a robot arm and a backwards hat. Yeah, and he seems to be punching a shark in the face.

Yeah, and I think his t-shirt says no bugs on it. Well, and that's the second part of it, okay? The other idea was that the aliens were now, and this later became a cornerstone of Alien 3, the aliens were going to take the form of different animals since the xenomorph is just... Right, like say a xenomorph goes into a dog. Get a dog alien.

Yes. Xenomorph goes into a hedgehog. Hedgehog alien. So they were like, we're going to get fucking scorpion, praying mantis, bull, like gorilla, all this fucking shit. They set up all this merchandise.

They did the cartoon show. They like did the like five minute test animation and then we're like, eh, maybe not. I mean, this is not for children. Right. Yeah, it's pretty scary. I think that was the thing. And the original, both of the first two Alieners are R-rated. They're, this is not for children. Right. Yeah, it's pretty scary. I think that was the thing.

And the original, both of the first two Alien movies are rated. They are R-rated movies, yeah. So they were like, this is a bad idea. But at this point, the merchandise had already

been put into production. So like a couple of years before Alien 3, but several years after Aliens, in relation to a cartoon show that never aired, there was like a full line of like children's toys for Alien that were based on all of these Marines being like cyborgs now

and also all the aliens being animals now. So I want to pass this around. This is like the robot cyborg crew and like the gorilla alien and the bull alien. It's one of the weirdest toy lines in history. These are, I mean, the aliens are awful. Yeah. They're so scary.

Ripley looks like a sailor. Like she's got like the yellow bandana. She's got like the yellow handkerchief. Oh my God. Yeah, this looks cool. The aliens do look awful. God, they look, they got too many spikes. They look really creepy.

They're all like really spiky mutated. Is Bishop there? I want to see if I can find the Bishop one to show you. Yeah. Oh, my God. Right at Bishop. He's in the top right. Oh, hell yeah.

Now Bishop is very strong. He's very badass all of a sudden. The lines under his eyes are gone, and he's just biceps. Yeah, he's no longer the sort of twitchy diplomat that he is in the movie. Now he's the hot robot we've come to. Yeah, I mean he's visibly a robot, whereas like part of the thing in the movie is that he just looks like actor Lance Hamilton. He's now got like a metal head. He's got like a Terminator head where the flesh

is barely holding on. Sunglasses. Sunglasses and a robot body. Hey look, it's the 90s. It's the early 90s. I think it's a fascinating merchandise line. I'll post pictures, but it's a merchandise line that has nothing to do with the actual film. He used to do this for the Star Wars podcast, the merchandise spotlight. So any chance he gets for some weird merch. Also, I'll take it.

Arcade game. I'm not throwing away my- Aliens came out in 1990. It was developed by Konami, the same creators of Contra. Yeah. It had a very similar gameplay, but it was a little bit more advanced, like, you know, graphics-wise, and it was, I was obsessed with it. I used to go to a pizza place and play it all the time.

That's Ben's arcade spotlight. Contra famously was, like, one of the characters is clearly modeled after Arnold Schwarzenegger in Predator. One of the characters is clearly modeled after Stallone in Rambo, and then the alien is clearly modeled after the alien. Like, Contra was, like, they picked the three big, like, franchises and then the alien is clearly modeled after the alien. Like Contra was like

they picked the three big franchises and then just made a video game of it. I'm running out of steam here. Me too. Yeah. I don't want to talk Contra. If the film was Aliens

I love it. Is Contra the one with ABAB like back forth up on the famous code? Yeah. It's a famous code. Oh because it's called

Konami Code. Right, right, right. Oh okay. And I'll give our listeners my famous code for making a great podcast episode, asking Fran Hoppner to be the guest. That's true. Oh, wow. Thank you so much.

How do you feel, Fran? Oh, I feel good. It's a little hot. Thank you so much for having... Yeah, it's a little hot. Yeah, you're okay. I'm fine. Fran's very cool comic collected.

She's cool as a cucumber. Yeah. I'm extremely just sort of like Midwest. Yeah. Okay. I come here, I'm laid back. Everyone's like, we gotta go places. Oh my God, exciting stuff's happening, Fran.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm just like, I'm on vacation. She's seven foot two. She's nine and a half. Yeah, I was like trying to make plans with Fran. And I was like, what do you want to do? You want to do this? You want to do that?

And you're like. And I was like, well, I'm just too tall. You're like, I'm on vacation. I'm tall. I'm Fran. And I'm on vacation. I'm a baby. On a vacation paid I'm Fran, and I'm on vacation. A baby?

On a vacation paid for by this podcast. Of course, by Bike Check. And UCB. And you're at the plaza or the Ritz or wherever the fuck you are. Yeah, yeah. Plaza.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm at the plaza. Like Eloise. Yep. Yeah, like Eloise. And the Ritz, right? We got you both. Yeah, just in case you want to switch.

Is there a Ritz in New York City? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can put on the Ritz. Yes, obviously. Yeah, well, Fran is it on the Ritz. Fran is putting on the Ritz. She'd be doing that anyway. She was a great guest.

She's putting Ritz on top of her head. Come back anytime. Obviously, we'll pay all the expenses. We're really weirdly flush with money right now. This podcast has become very liquid. I just want to make something clear to anyone listening to this podcast. That is not true. We would totally appreciate your money

if you wanted to give us some. We have made a grand total of to anyone listening to this podcast. That is not true. And we would totally appreciate your money if you wanted to give us some. We have made a grand total of zero cents off of this podcast. And also zero dollars. Yeah, that's important because some people think, oh, well, zero cents for five million dollars. Nope. None of the dollars either. No, didn't you find some change a couple months back in the room? No, those were bitcoins.

Yeah, they were fucking bitcoins. They were fucking bitcoins. Worthless. And you can't use those at an arcade. It'd be cool if you could though makes sense alright Jesus Christ oh my god alright so we're done with Aliens

Aliens is great we're gonna talk The Abyss next it's a great movie I love it I love everything about it Fran you're the best thank you for being here thank you so much for having me

fun episode fun everything great life cool people have make what are you doing everything wonderful

agreed on all counts yeah great time people have make everything wonderful. Agreed on all counts. Great time. Let's do some plugs. Plugs. TheAtlantic.com Watch The Tick. Watch The Tick maybe. It's done. It's off. By the time this comes out they'll have pulled it

from Amazon. Torrent it. Watch Draft Day. Watch Draft Day. Fran, got any plugs? I don't have anything too big. Clickhole.com. Clickhole.com. I love the Conan thing.

The onion.com, the Conan thing is so funny. The Conan thing was so great. Did you see the Conan thing? I did. It was excellent. Yeah, I'm out and around. I'm a woman about town. Woman about town.

Tall and vacating.'m a woman about town. Woman about town. Tall and vacating. Big tall baby around town. I've got some news for you guys. The trailer for Fifty Shades Darker, you know the film I'm talking about, has gotten more views in 24 hours than the previous record holder, Star Wars The Force Awakens.

Fuck. It's a stat for you there. Talk about a thirst trap, right? That's the news, and I'm David Simp. Great. Well, that was David's news, and I'm Griffin Newman.

I'm Fran Hoffner. Fran Hoffner. Goodbye, and as always. Oh, boy. See, here's the thing. I had a really good one like 40 minutes ago, and now I've forgotten it. 40 minutes ago, I was like-

40 minutes ago? You mean when this podcast should have ended? Yeah, 40 minutes ago and now I've forgotten. 40 minutes ago I was like... 40 minutes ago? You mean when this podcast should have ended? Yeah, 40 minutes ago I was like, I know exactly what my end is always. And it's going to be, as always... I'm trying to pull it, but I'm not going to... Oh boy. Day 12?

Day 12. That's what it should be. Oh yeah. And as always, Day 12. Day 12. That's what it should be. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And as always, Day 12. This has been a UCB Comedy Production. Check out our other shows on the UCB Comedy Podcast Network.