Blank Check with Griffin & David - Aquaman

Episode Date: December 23, 2018

On the week of its release in December of 2018, Griffin and David discussed the latest offering in the DCEU: Aquaman. But how many Oscars did David throw at the screening? is Orm a name? Did Ben’s brain break? Together they examine director James Wan’s career, sea crime and the legacy of Aquaman over the years. This episode is sponsored by [Robinhood](http://check.robinhood.com) and [The /Filmcast](http://slashfilmcast.com). And sign up for our [Patreon](https://www.patreon.com/blankcheck) to get access to exclusive monthly bonus content!

My parents were of two different worlds, and I was a product of the love that they shared. A son of Pod, and a son of the cast. That's right. Yeah. Why don't you quote Jules Verne like this movie does? Jules Verne once said... Jules Verne once said, the ocean master needs four of the seven ocean kingdoms. Jules Verne once said, you haven't lived until you fucked a fish. Hello, my name is Griffin Newman. Hello, my name is David Sims.

This is Blank Check with Griffin and David. It's a podcast about filmographies. Directors who have massive success early on in their career and are able to unite the land and the sea. Exactly, right. That's what James Wan has done. He's united the land and the sea. He's united the land and the sea.

But also, we've been doing this weird stealth piecemeal miniseries. Right. Where we cover every DC Universe film. And are we only missing Man of Steel in that regard? We've done every other one, right? Correct. And I'll get to that in one second. Oh.

Winky winky. Okay. Winky winky. Winky winky. But yes, that is correct. And we've been covering these, and part of it is that we were kind of fascinated by how ramshackle this sort of franchise building seemed to be,

how much Warner Brothers was putting into it, and how... A blank check had been written. Right, and it was one director kind of kick-starting this whole thing, but there seemed to be a lack of cohesive vision for how this whole thing was going to be built out. And now they've started to become a little more individualistic. I mean, Suicide Squad

is very much a David Ayer movie, but it's a super compromised David Ayer movie. That one's more compromised, but Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and the other one. That's it, I guess. Yeah, these are the two, but this is starting to be like, I guess is this maybe where the thing is going? It certainly seems that any time there's less interference and pressure on the director, the better you're doing.

I mean, here's something that I don't think anyone can dispute about this film. It is pure. This is not a movie that was meddled with. Yeah. Right? That might sound backhanded i don't mean it that way but even if you were like this movie gave me a fucking headache sure you can't be like studio hackery right like this movie is insanity right um so today of course we're talking

about aqua my man aqua my man he doesn't say it at all yeah so that's just a justice league thing yes that they were like someone was like I don't know he needs a catchphrase and when Ben and I were going up the escalator producer

Ben Pritigre Ben Duster poet laureate the Haas peeper finest film critic personal friend of Dan Lewis

dirt bike Benny smoking wet soaking wet Benny way hot Benny right fart detective meat lover, the graduate certain tells

over the course of different miniseries such as Kylo Ben, producer Ben Kenobi, Ben Night Shyamalan, Ben Say, A.O. Ben's with the dollar sign, Warhaw's, Purdue Urbane,

Ben 19, the fennel maker, Robohaw's, fucking Benglish, Mr. Ben Credible, Eat Drink, Ben Hosley, and the Hosley Day Jesus Christ okay

we were going up the escalator and Ben said how many times do you think they say it in the movie my man and my prediction was even if they don't say it with that sort of like fucking victory lap I think he will refer to people as my man a bunch because that was the one thing that worked

in Justice League so they're going to have to be like one you can do whatever you want just give us four my mans sure so i thought he was just gonna go like ocean master my man listen sure you know i thought he was just gonna work it in the conversation he doesn't say it once it's good none of the stuff from the no justice league is in this there was a point in the movie and we'll get to it where I thought is this movie pretending that Justice League didn't happen Amber Heard was in Justice League

it takes a while for them to acknowledge they've met before and when she first comes up to land I was like are they pretending this is the first time they met are they actually trying to just like Deadpool movie ignore the fact that these same actors did? I mean, there's not much because here's what Justice League

gave us on Aquaman. He's my man. He's my man. He has a five-pointed trident, which is nothing. I know. He lives in Iceland or something. It's like, right?

From the docks. He drinks a lot. He drinks a lot. He's wet. He's wet. Soak and wet. And he rescues the fishermen from fishing problems and apart from that like that's it right and merrick camps the land for one scene

brings him into the water they have a conversation i have no memory of what they talk about i remember the scene i remember it being bad yeah it's very bad but it's also like they cast the air bubble so they can converse they have an air bubble conversation and it's inside like a sunken ruins like they're inside like a weird sunken coliseum but there aren't other characters there no there aren't i think i just vaguely remember it i think that the tone of it was sort of like you got to come back to the sea and he's like no it felt like that's it iron man 2 like nick fury coming in and interrupting the movie shit like it felt like them being like we gotta set up this even clumsier even clumsier uh and it's just like what the fuck is happening here and this movie literally disregards everything other than the fact that that happened right yeah

like james wan didn't hold on to any design elements he said fuck the air bubble conversation thing you know all of it yeah I said to Ben, I mean, I can't believe like that. They just let him go like fuck everything. They got rid of the air bubble stuff in Justice League. And Ben's response was,

I don't know what you're talking about. I've never seen Justice League. Right. And Ben had seen Justice League. And I said, Ben, you saw it opening day with me and we did a two hour episode on it.

And you were like, are you sure? I mean, remember when we were like oh my god our justice league episode is gonna be so funny and then we saw the movie and we the whole episode is just being like yeah i mean it's boring and shitty like it's better and worse than batman versus exactly we were like it's not even fun like it's just a bland like there's there's Cyborg. Cyborg is a cool guy. See, Ben, you remembered that you like Cyborg. I remember Cyborg.

Yeah. Yeah. Before we... All right. Before we... So we're here to talk Aquaman. James Wan's Aquaman. Yes, but before we dive into the trenches... Ooh, dive in.

I get it. Before we meet the Brian King... What a cool guy. We do stan a legend. We stan a legend. We do stan a legend with the Brian King. Right. Yeah.

Okay. Thank you. We should talk about the new show. I don't understand. The Blank Check Patreon. Oh, you mean Blank Check Special Features. The official announcement of the new title. That's right.

So people for years have asked us is there a way to give us money? And I said no we don't want your money. And David screamed out in pain and agony. Blood ran from his eyes. I said we don't do this for the money. And David yelled at the gods please shower me in coins.

Do love coins. And then people said you should do a Patreon thing. We always said we won't do it until we figure out what the thing would be. Because we don't want to just charge people for the same show we're doing here. 100%. We wanted its own thing. Well, right, because, like, I feel like so much of this show is that we fit ourselves into very complicated arrangements. Correct.

Like, we like to flagellate. We like to, like, put ourselves through a filmography, right? And we didn't want to just be like, oh oh certain filmographies happen just under a paywall yeah right or just like do episodes on movies right it we can't make it easy on ourselves we can't so we finally came up with a very complicated set of uh uh rules uh one is rules that we also can break at any time if we want yeah who cares yeah right uh it's not it's not collusion even if it was collusion collusion is not a crime that is a good defense to be clear it's pretty good it's a double backseat right it's like it's fun how literally

nothing matters anymore but it's just like i watch that thing where chris wallace of fox news i mean he's a more serious journalist than most News, but like where he's just like, no, no, no, shush, shush. I have a question for you. Did the president break the law? Rudy Giuliani's like, didn't break the law. Didn't know what happened. If he did break the law, it's not breaking the law.

Like, you know, he's like. Rudy Giuliani treats the law the way James Wan treats the Mara scene from Justice League. I will use whatever elements of it I want and ignore the rest holy shit we're winning the the pulitzer prize for political commentary for this episode i mean that was kind of like a half court shot right was it not a curse wish i just i got buckets like candace burr again i. Okay, so we came up with, and I did, we said two things. One, our podcast is about filmographies,

about directors. We don't want to muddy the waters if we do a second show, right? So we said, what about franchises? People ask us about franchises a lot, and they'd ask us, would you ever do a miniseries on this? And there are a ton of them we like,

and most franchises don't have one clear authorial voice. Maybe we cover one or two films within a- That've got lots to say but they're never really gonna fit you know maybe you've got your occasional like alfonso coran made a harry potter but that's the one it's like once in a while you get like cameron makes two terminators but then there are three other terminators yes you know That's no specific thing. We're just saying, we're naming things. They're franchises. They're franchises.

So that was piece one. And piece two was people still, for some fucking reason, listen to our Star Wars commentary episodes. They do like that. Yes, they'll tweet Fat Gungan at us. Yes. We'll still get that. So we said, what if we combine those two things?

And the format was, we'll talk about franchises. Yeah. We'll run them completely. Yes. We have, again, we have to flagellate. Right. Yes. We're going to commit ourselves to doing the whole thing.

Right. We said, this is a different format. It's a different subject. Make it a different show. Now, they're long episodes, not much longer or shorter than a regular episode. Someone was like, are the episodes going to be long? And I was like, well, they're like two to two and a half hours depending on the movie length but

the other episodes might be more regular length and they were like so like two to two and a half hours right exactly so we were like playing this out and all this and we're like okay there's a big time commitment because we've got to watch these movies together but like only giving two a month feels a little like anemic how do we like give them a little something more

for your five bucks? We're going to throw in a bonus every month. Now, what can this bonus contain? For the start, you're going to get the recording of our live Q&A with Academy Award nominee James Seamus from the Hulk screening. We do any other live

shows, which we hopefully will continue doing. They're going to go there. What are other things that are going to go there? Things that people suggest to us where they're like, oh, you're going to cover What Men Want, the What Women Want remake, right? It's not even a remake. It's sort of a, I don't know. What do you call it?

What if Mel Gibson comes in the middle of the movie and is like, Taraji, I've lived through what you've lived through. Let me help you. God, I hope that doesn't happen universe time wasn't wasted with that universe uh no exactly I mean it's a classic scenario where people on twitter will be like I mean you guys have to cover emergency app right and it's like there are only so many hours of the day there's only so much time but with this if you're uh you know you're giving us money we want to give you value for that money.

So yes, what men want. Because even like the Burton miniseries is going to be our longest one to date. It's too long. And already Dumbo is coming out like three weeks after the movie comes out. Because we have things like this. And we have things like Split. We got stuff we got to put in there. Right.

We don't want to chop up the feed. So we're going to make things a little cleaner on the main podcast. And bonuses will sort of fall into that category. What are other things I'd like to do with bonuses? I would like to fill in the couple blanks we have, such as Man of Steel. The two early George Lucas films. Things like that. There are a couple little spots.

Maybe doing Black Book, the Verhoeven film. Sure. You know? Yeah. There are things like that. Talk about poop. Look, that's a zone where if you're tweeting ass, you're on Reddit, you want to suggest a thing,

that's where it would go. Right. We can play around with this thing. We're not very locked into it. Exactly. It's a little more fun. But we will have franchise commentary episodes twice a month. Right.

And we've been recording them. Yeah, we got a bunch banked up. We have a lot of fun doing them. We record them three in a row on my couch we get loopy and it's really loopy i really i'm trying to say this is a selling point they're silly when people like say like i miss the star wars days this is like we're a little loopier we're driving ourselves a little crazier we're going into like franchise marginalia it's like that kind of thing it's a little crazed year. We're going into franchise marginalia. It's like that kind of thing. It's a little bit of a throwback to that sort of earlier day of the show.

We're doing the Marvel Cinematic Universe. That's where we're starting. We're knocking down the 20, the first 10 years. That first session with Hulk and Iron Man 2 was rough. Rough.

And we're not talking about Mark because he hadn't entered in yet. It was still Nort. Yeah, they were very Nort. It was a very Nort time in our lives. Ben's there too and he's talking about all kinds of bullshit.

Good stuff. Barry Jeans. You know how Ben's a total pro on this podcast? Yeah. Not on the Patreon. He's fucking around. Let it all hang out.

Imagine if he's no longer at his workplace and he's vaping on mic and asking if I have any drugs in my house these are your selling points get a Patreon subscription for the blankie you love most in your life it's five bucks a month

it's one cup of coffee if you go to a really douchey coffee place and we're giving you at the bare minimum five hours of extra content per month. It will likely be way over that. Right. It will be the first of the month, you will get a franchise episode. That's right. The 11th of the month, you will get a bonus episode.

Something else. And then the 21st, 10 days later, you will then receive another franchise episode. So it's the ones. Right. One, 11, 21. Three weeks doesn't divide

evenly into, you know, a month. So, yeah. And just refer to the show notes, like the episode descriptions to see kind of

what is coming up in the future. And we'll also relay that information on social media. Yeah, and we'll put it on the feed of, you know, the the future and we'll also relay that information on social media. Yeah, and we'll put it on the feed of, you know, the Patreon feed and stuff. But just to give you an idea.

But it is literally just patreon.com backslash blank check and they can find it. That's right, man. Patreon.com slash blank check. It will launch on January 1st, New Year's Day. You will get your Ironman commentary. So if you want to get it, sign up now. Here's a few things I want to make clear.

Right, exactly. The first episode will go down because people have been asking procedural questions first episode will launch on january 1st that is also when you will be charged you won't be charged if you sign up in december you get charged the first of the month you're making a commitment you get charged on the first of every month five five whole dollars or more if you are one of those maniacs who just wants to uh pledge more david's money monster. I do love money. And then January's episodes will be Iron Man. Jon Favreau's Iron Man.

And then the James Seamus interview and then we'll probably tack on like a mailbag. Yeah, Q&A was a little short so I think we're going to link it up with another mailbag app. And to be clear, the Q&A was only short because Hulk is very long. That's the reason why. Because Seamus clearly could have talked for 100 hours. And there's a lot of density within the q a

it's like a 30 minute q a but he gets a lot in there he does and then uh on the 21st you'll have the incredible hulk by louis leterrier right i mean the epitome of a director we really wouldn't want to cover otherwise and you have an interesting contrast there going from one episode seamus talking about his like, uh, uh, love his notion of the Hulk being a creature that exists with like the tectonic plates of like,

yeah. He talks about like the surface of the earth being like the surface of a person's body, like the skin of a person, right? Like how the earth has a skin. And this is all when he's describing his Hulk sequel pitch. Yes.

And I am wearing Hulk hands and then the next bonus episode, the next Patreon episode, you will get to hear us talk about how Louis Leterrier's Hulk looks like a bag of diarrhea. It really does. So that's Patreon Talk. That's Patreon Talk there. Patreon Talk, so subscribe if you

want. Oh, yeah, the other thing, if we hit 2,000 patrons, I will agree to un-retire the Big Ben bit. The bongs, they can come back. I like how you're not even saying what the bit actually is. And if we hit 3,000, I'll ride the stupid fucking Batman rollercoaster. We'll go to Six Flags

and we'll ride the Dark Knight. I mean, we can ride other Six Flags things too, I suppose. Although it would be kind of funny to just go all the way there to do one thing. Right. I will say, I mean in terms of the the Lion King bet um the the best suggestions I saw were that if you win I have to go to a basketball game with you and we record it for an episode and if I win you have to go to a theme park with me and we record it for an episode I mean I thought that was fine I for some reason thought it was funnier for us to force like for you to finally get your old dogs episode like you know that one

episode. So maybe we stick it on episodes. Yeah man I'm not sure I like that idea too. I don't know I liked a lot of ideas. Okay. Anyway. Last thing I want to say just because I think people are surmised this and we're kind of like oh fuck are they going to start breaking up the main feed. We're putting the two animated Burtons behind the paywall. It's just because Burton is really fucking long. It's a time thing.

It's basically the difference between us not covering them at all. Right. And putting them on the Patreon at least. Dumbo is already coming out essentially a month late. Exactly. So we're putting them behind there, but that's not a pattern that will be replicated in future miniseries.

No, it would have to be someone with a crazy long filmography. It wasn't like Verhoeven or Spielberg where there was an easy way to break it up. So we decided to put those two behind it. And of course we're saving Nightmare Before Christmas for a Henry Selick miniseries. That's why we're not covering it. Yeah, that's true. It's true. I mean, I know Burton was a huge part of that movie but it's Selick's movie. I wouldn't want to take it away from him and he's a genuine

auteur. Right, he hopefully is going to actually finish making another movie now and we'll cover him then. So that's Patreon Talk. Ben is stretching. And I have one thing I'd like to say. This will be the last episode that comes out in 2018. In 2018, Sunday at 5 p.m. Oh, Ben's got a real point to make here.

All these international listeners. Oh, boy. You got your way. Ben has taken out a grindstone? He seems to be rubbing an axe against it? I hope you're all happy. You're gonna get your episodes Sunday 5 a.m. Eastern

Standard Time. Oh, it's 5 a.m. now. Yes. Okay. It was gonna be 4. Hopefully now I get to stay up on Saturday nights when I don't have the episode ready. Hell yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. It'll be good for you. You won't have to deal with that bullshit on sunday night or whatever that's true yeah all right so like originally our podcast came out

monday afternoons then people complain it became monday mornings then once you accidentally posted sunday night yeah and then now it's just keep on going right right it was this is that's the thing you're like well i guess i have to do this ben's the one who said this we don't care okay he's the one who gets all the at replies from like you know joe australia being like where's me blank check me yeah which once again thanks to joe australia for donating to our patreon thank you josh i love you so much um uh okay so that's all that talk now let's talk about aqua my man oh great segue. Filmed in Australia mostly. But it was filmed in like seven different countries. But from my research, it looks like Australia was your main shooting location.

Now, were they able to get it classified as an Australian film because of James Wan? Or was it just like he was like hometown, let me play this. Is James Wan Australian? James Wan is Australian. This is news to little old me. I had no idea. James Wan is Australian. This is news to little old me. I had no idea. James Wan is Australian. But I know there are things like...

I've got the full... Do you want the full beat on James Wan? He's of Malaysian birth and descent. Moved to Australia age seven. Okay. Then he lived in Canberra, which is the capital. Wow. But it might be pronounced Canberra.

I always forget. Okay. And then he lived in Perth. He speaks with a strong Australian accent. accent and then he went to melbourne yeah these were all cities in australia and then he fucking made a gorilla film at the melbourne underground film festival cool like gorilla grod or uh yeah yeah yeah what's that that have you seen that clip from legends of tomorrow where girl like rod like uh breaks into barack obama's dorm and he says like barack obama it will be an honor to kill you today have you seen that i need to watch that i know it seems like my friend writes for it it seems like such a fun time it seems like exactly what i want i just never watched tv

um then he hooks up with his friend lee when l another australian and they make saw right yeah let's i mean let's run down they're australian guys they're nice never watched TV. Then he hooks up with his friend Lee Whannell, another Australian, and they make Saw. Right. Yeah, let's run down his filmography for a little bit. They're Australian guys. They're nice Australian boys. Saw was a very bootstrappy thing that they got a couple big actors to come and do a couple days on. Right, because it's what, Glover and

Monica Potter's in it. Carrie Elwes. Michael Emerson, Ken Leung, Tobin Bell. It's got a really good cast. What a good movie, I love Saw even though I know it's like the beginning of something horrible I think it's such a fun movie It's got like the two really great

Have you seen Saw, Ben? Of course He loves Rube Goldberg machines, it's right up his alley And Grime The Saw mythology was so tortured, like you know what I mean in the sequels They kill them off so fast. What's the bad guy's name again?

Saw? Jigsaw? Oh, Jigsaw. What other movies has Jigsaw been in? Tobin Bell? Tobin Bell's been in everything. The guy who plays Jigsaw. Or do you just mean the man Jigsaw?

Oh, I thought that was an actor. Yeah, that's what we're saying what's your question oh well i fucked up the bit yes sure did we ask about the puppet billy the puppet on the tricycle yeah i'll tell you some other films he's been in let me check here uh saw two did you see this one where they brought it back jigsaw i did not see that one was that a was that kind of a flop i feel like people Saw. It was a big flop and it was like they had let it lay dormant for like four years and they were like, now people are hungry for it.

We took it off the shelves and it didn't work. They tried to new coke it. They tried to do the new coke. But he did make Saw. The weird thing with Saw was Saw would own every Halloween until Paranormal Activity. And then Paranormal Activity tapped out faster than Saw.

That's the way of the land, you know? It's sort of like, right, you have your run. But yet there used to be, we're not in the annual franchise zone anymore. No, not really. So he made Saw. Yes. Which was bootstrappy, small, short schedule,

limited production budget. It's only got a couple sets. It got bought at a film festival by Lionsgate. It was Lionsgate, right? I think it was Lionsgate. Let me look it up. I just couldn't remember if it was a pre-merger. It was Def Lionsgate, yes. And it had, it cost something like, it was

really cheap. I think it cost a million dollars. You know, they like sort of, no, $700,000. Yeah, crazy. And Lionsgate picked it up at Sundance. Because you're like 750 thousand dollars a hundred thousand dollars was probably danny glover sure yeah probably i mean maybe danny was just nice and like agreed i don't know um it is weird that he's in that movie but they pick it up at sundance he's also weird in the movie because he's like i hate so i'm gonna

get him and he's in like two scenes and dies. I'd argue it's not his best performance. If I had to make an argument, I don't think it's number one on the Danny Glover list. Fair enough. I love Danny Glover. I heard too. You know, a friend of the show, David Lowery. Winky winky. Love him.

Winky winky. I went to the Q&A they did after the screening of Old Man and the Gun. Sure. And I was in the front row because I got there late Humblebrag Front Row Center

You were late Yeah I was feeling like mixing it up a little bit I wanted to play with the brand Wait did you see Vice? I did not I was supposed to see Vice today

and instead I slept I was supposed to see it this morning Fair enough Too bad I wanted your Vice take I was in the front row sitting six inches away from Danny Glover. And the whole time I couldn't stop thinking to myself why don't we stand this legend more?

He's a fucking legend. He just rules. What a wonderful guy. His answers were really fun. He's in one of my favorite movies of all time. He's the star of Sleep with Anger. Which is getting a Criterion release. I'm very excited for that. And you wrote the entire booklet on it i wish are you

angry to sleep well yeah first question do you sleep with anger second question were you angry that you didn't get to write like an essay for the booklet god no it's like an important black film i hope whoever wrote it is an important black critic okay here's my follow-up question because this was like a thing recently i I can look it up who wrote the... This was a thing recently on Film Twitter. If you had to write an essay for like... Oh, sure. Did you say Matrix Reloaded?

I did. I did. You'd write your fucking serif as a log on screen. Oh, Ashley Clark, who is the curator of BAM and is... Yes. Very, very good choice for it, obviously. I've never seen that movie.

I'm excited to see it. I would love to write a Criterion booklet essay someday. Me too. I'm more than happy to. Me too. But I certainly did not expect to write about To Sleep With Anger. You went to the closet though. I did.

That was a really extremely important experience for me. They let the dog off the leash and he ran around in the closet. That was fun. The wacky sea. The old wacky sea itself. Shout out to Courtney on We Truly Stand a Legend who was like oh come swing by the closet and I was like

great. Can't wait to do that. Love her. The only thing David loves more than money is getting things that usually cost money for free. No it wasn't about that. It was about literally like talking to Criterion with like the people. Yes. Anyway. 2007.

So 2004 is Saw. Right, which Lionsgate gives a wide release and it's a surprise hit. And they immediately go like, here's a franchise, but Juan and Whannell get a little hands off. They become a little more overseeing the thing. They're just executive producers. I think they barely have a story credit on Saw 3. Whannell kind of stayed on.

Whannell stayed on more. Not Wan though. I don't want to be a franchise guy. I want to now get bigger budgets to make more original horror films. He sets up two films at two separate studios that come out the same year. And both of them bump. Both of them are flops. One is Dead Silence, which I have never seen. I've seen is very weird.

The puppet movie. He doubled down on the puppet thing. So it's a whole movie of haunted puppets. It's like a haunted marionette puppet. Is it scary? I remember thinking it was. It's kind of a Sam Raimi tone. It's very heightened.

Very absurd. I didn't like it at the time. I have no idea why. I probably would like it if I saw it now. It got bad reviews. It didn't do very well. And it came out in October. And at this point they've made a couple Saw sequels that have all came out in march oh weird yeah and death sentence came out in september death sentence which stars kevin bacon it was also a flop came out in august like the end of august right it was like last week labor day and even though it was a flop at the time and i don't think it got great reviews there There's some promise there. Jimmy Wan.

Death Sentence is adapted from a sequel to Death Wish which Charles Bronson made a bunch of sequels to that just became very much into fetishizing violence and revenge. Death Sentence is a weight of revenge movie. It's not like full you were never really here but it's a movie in which Kevin Bacon plays an

actual unassuming vigilante who really is sort of torn up inside by the violence he commits. Exactly. It's based on the book sequel. Right. That's what I'm saying. Which was used for Death Wish 2 slightly, but I think quickly like Michael Winner or whoever was like,

this is boring. You should just shoot pimps or whatever happens in those movies. It was clearly like a passion project for Juan where he was like, this sequel is a really good cost of violence story. And I want to tell that as its own thing. But it bombs. And at this point you go, they've made three more Saw movies. They've all done really well.

It maybe looks like Juan fucked up. From that point you go, Juan just released two bombs within six months and his franchise is going really strong without him. Maybe he should have just stayed and been a company man and stuck with the sauce. But then he goes back to horror insidious. Have you seen insidious Ben? I have not. I think you would dig that movie.

Why? Well, it's just a weird gnarly horror movie that stars an old lady and it's fucking fun. It's the only film of his I haven't seen. Oh, it's fun. Yeah. Wait, you haven't seen insidious. I'm sorry. He did two. I haven't seen either of those. I was going to say, it'd be weird if you'd seen 2 and not 1.

Well, it's like the time that I only saw The Bourne Legacy. Wait, is that still true that you've only seen that one? Yeah, I thought it was a clean jumping in point. I went, new guy. New guy, who dis? And then I rolled in and the whole movie is like, so we all know the dossier from Blackwell. Like, why am I watching cell phone videos of Albert Finney?

Could not follow it. Oh my God. I thought it was like Leatherface The Next Generation or something. You know? Yeah. Anyway. So, he makes Insidious. Yeah.

Which is released at the time by, whatchamacallit. Film District. Right, which was Bob Bernie's new genre startup that also released Drive and stuff. Yeah, but more importantly, he does it with Jason Plum. Yes. The master of cheap horror. But Film District didn't last very long and had very few hit movies but Insidious was their one

like unqualified like oh this performed really well. And once again he was sort of back in the Saw pocket where it's like he made a really good movie

for a really small budget that played mainstream. True. And now he's synced up with Jason Blum who's the guy who understands modern horror. You know Insidious played Tiff, much like Saw.

You know, like it was a festival movie. Had more of like a genuine buzz to it. Critics liked it. They were like, this is actually well directed. It's so weird. It's so good, in my opinion. I have not seen Chapter 2, but you would love it. So does he make 2 before Conjuring 1? Yeah.

Okay. No, no, no, I'm sorry. He goes Insidious, Conjuring, Insidious 2, Furious two before Conjuring 1? Yeah. Okay. No, no, no. I'm sorry. He goes Insidious, Conjuring, Insidious 2, Furious 7, Conjuring 2. That's the order. I forgot that Conjuring 2 is after Furious 7.

By what time difference? One year. 2015, 2016. Crazy. It is crazy. I mean, I think Furious 7, he did a lot of it because it was a delayed release right yeah because of paul walker's death yes um right um so insidious they does conjuring one conjuring fucking rules it it slaps conjuring is where you're like this guy is for real he's the guy yeah and now he's got a slightly bigger budget movie rules have you seen the conjuring no why haven't you seen every shitty and good horror movie of the last 10 years i checked out on horror

big time i just feel like ben's a horror boy yeah you'd also love juan okay you would and and the other thing is at this point he's like my guy is patrick wilson i know who's i know who's this great like pine tree of American cinema who no one figures out how to use properly. Patrick Wilson is a Broadway actor. He emerges from the Full Monty on Broadway and then he did Oklahoma. He's one of the most classically handsome people alive.

Real handsome guy. Yeah. He played like Raul in Phantom of the Opera, which is the sort of baby face role in that. He did Oklahoma.lahoma he did fullmont he was doing all these broadway musicals who is i just hearing wait who is i was just listening to an interview with someone who had directed him in something fuck what was it where they were like there was a scene that required singing and they said to wilson like yeah yeah can you handle this i'm sorry about this like you got and wilson just looked at at him completely baffled

and was like, yeah, no, I'll be fine. And then started singing. The guy was like, wait a second. Oh, it was Jason Reitman, young adult. Oh. Which he's very good in that. He is. But a lot of times he's cast in that sort of like the dope or the pill. He's the guy who's tracking

down the A-team. Right. He's the husband who's having the affair and little children. Right. And I remember, like, my mom saying, like, he's such a good actor. The problem is he's actually too handsome. Like, it's distracting. It distorts any movie he's in. I mean, Jude Law had that problem.

Yes. We've talked about it until he got, like, a little less handsome. Yeah. Like, kind of helped him out. And the other problem with Patrick Wilson. He's a good actor, though. The other problem is he's a real actor. Yeah, he's a good actor.

Like, he's not someone who's trying to be, like, a leading man movie star. He's kind of a him out. And the other problem with Patrick Wilson He's a good actor though. The other problem is he's a real actor. Yeah he's a good actor. Like he's not someone who's trying to be like a leading man movie star. He's kind of a character actor. I don't like Fargo very much the TV show but I think he's great in that. So good in it.

Yeah and he was in the second season right? Second season. He's the main cop in the second season. Oh yeah he is fucking good. He's fucking great. I mean I really think

he's wonderful in Angels in America the Mike Nichols adaptation of that. That's great casting for him. I think that's a great performance. Yes. And then

he did kind of, like Little Children, I feel like he starts to just sort of fall off the map. Right? You know, like as a serious he becomes like he'll just show up in a movie and you're like, oh, Patrick Wilson. He shows up in like Lakeview Terrace. He's the main I mean, he is the protagonist

of Lakeview Terrace. Excuse me, Samuel Jackson's the protagonist. He's not, he's the antagonist my friend. I know, I know, I know. He's the main I mean he is the protagonist of Lakeview Terrace. Excuse me Samuel Jackson the protagonist. He's not he's the antagonist my friend. I know I know I know but like the poster is like Samuel Jackson looking at you the audience like Patrick Wilson's not to be seen I would argue he's the main character he's not the protagonist I know I agree I agree but that's what I'm saying it's like

but they're trying to put him on TV he does that like a gifted man right it's like never totally working. And then he does like, oh, I guess he's going to like slum it and do a horror movie. But Juan really locks into him, puts him in both Insidious, puts him in both Conjurings. Correct. And is like, I get this guy. This guy's real fucking solid.

And the key to the Conjuring where I was just like, this is fucking brilliant, is I sat there and I went, oh my God, for the first time, he's figured out how to make a horror franchise that is about the human characters. Because they've got this amazing structure where it's like this husband and wife who have a really good marriage, but marriage is tough. They have to do the work. I like that they're not bickering, but it is about like-

Plus they have a stressful job. They have a stressful job, which is they're paranormal investigators in the 70s, Ben. They're really well-dressed 70s couple who get a call like this house is haunted. I would have loved this. And they go in there and they're like, what's up, guys? And they're like, nothing.

And then like, you know, like a little music box starts playing or something. But they're like driving to the house and they hold each other's hand and they go like, we can't let this test our marriage. And I like that they always retain the human element of like these people who are trying to help other people they're like cool ghostbusters they're based on the like hucksters who wrote the amityville horror the warrants right the conjuring is based on the same story that the amityville horror is based on it's a more uh like uh grounded right and a human version what I just love about that though is the Conjuring and Conjuring 2 are such good ghost stories

but they still manage to spin off a bullshit like the haunted dolls up to no good franchise out of it. Annabelle is a Conjuring spin off. Both Annabelle's, the nun. The nun? Watch out for that nun. Is it a bad nun? This nun's no fucking good.

I'd say one of the worst. And nuns are normally very nice. Right. Supposed to, well. Never strict. Never strict. Now, here's my only problem with Patrick Wilson's casting in the motion picture Aquaman, which we discussed today. Which, when his name came up in the credits, you said, great Oscar.

I said, I smell Oscar. Yeah. What's your only problem with the casting? He's already been in the dc extended universe he played the president of the united states on the phone in batman versus superman so what the fuck oh because snyder likes him too he does because he was in um what's it called he was a watchman of course yes a night talk yes an extremely detached and mediocre performance unfortunately i don't think he's bad in it yeah mediocre he's real mediocre right because he was all in on little children yeah zack sander saw

little children and was like that's the cast of my superhero movie uh boy um so i think that's fucked up and i hope that the movies resolve that issue. I want the entirety of the Flash film to deal with that continuity error. I want Flash traveling through time to correct that and only that problem. Here's the other thing I want to say about Orm, the character he plays in Aquaman. Let me just check my notes here. The Ocean Master? Well, he wants to be. He wants to be that Ocean Master.

Aspiring Ocean Master. In the comics, that's his... His name is Ocean Master. He's Ocean Master. That's his... That name is Ocean Master. He's Ocean Master. That's his name. That's a good title. That's his nom de crime. If I had to weigh in...

If someone swam towards you and was like, what's up? What's your name? I'd be like, you know me, I'm just a bit of a ocean master. No, but you don't even say I'm a bit of an ocean master. They go, what's your name? And you go, oh, ocean master? That's my proper name. David, I'm sorry to interrupt the flow of this classic episode.

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Canon. One thing I want to say about Orm. Yes, please. Who is a comic book character. Yeah. When he was written originally, he was written as the full human, non-powered brother of Aquaman.

That's his initial origin in the comics. Who's jealous of Aquaman. Who's jealous of Aquaman, right? And yet his name is Orm. The premise is simply that the dad, what's his name? Like Tom or what's the Tom Curry. Yeah.

The dad was like, oh, I had another son. Let's call him Orm. Yeah. Let me name my half Atlantean son Arthur. Arthur, yeah. He has a normal human name. Everyone else in fucking Atlantis is called like Water Person. So his name in the comics is Orm. Orm Curry? That's his fucking name. Can you

believe this? I cannot believe it. It literally Orm Curry. Jesus Christ. And then, you know, post-crisis when they reinvent a lot of, you know, the DC characters. And the priority becomes let's make Aquaman cool because for a long time the Albatross were on Aquaman's neck was Super Friends.

Aquaman's Saturday morning depictions made him into a joke. Not that he was taken super seriously in the comics. He was never taken that seriously. But because no one read it that seriously, when he was on the same show as Batman, as Superman, as Wonder Woman, the joke became, what can Aquaman do? He can talk to fish. It would be like, oh, and then they go to the ocean for some reason, and Aquaman can help them. Right. They pretty much on Super Friends only gave him the power to talk to fish and swim right he became the classic lame he's the joke jokey right even the wonder twins were lapping him exactly uh

orm yes yeah when they reinvent him he's like the brother of like he's the son of a wizard you know like they made him a little cooler yeah and that's when and now And then in the new 52, which is a DC every five years. 17th reboot. Right. Yeah. That's when he becomes what they do in this. Oh, interesting. So I think that's what they're drafting off of.

He's like the son of Atlanta. Is that her name? Atlanta. Yeah. It also feels like Atlanta, Georgia. It feels like they- Took him five seconds to do that. Yeah, and worth it. Worth every second.

Give us $1 per second on the Patreon. It does feel... Jesus Christ. It feels like the emphasis is on... A lot of the 90s and the 2000s were like, let's make Aquaman badass. Let's give him a beard. Let's give him a spear hand.

That's a $5 million? Let's give him a spear hand that's a five million dollar uh let's give him a spear hand was the peter david uh reboot of him in the 90s he's not wearing i had some of those issues where he had the big beard yeah it felt a little a little bit flexy to me it felt a little like this isn't your fucking dad's aquaman it was a little that i mean i i didn't mind that because i love peter Peter David in the 90s. I still love him. I mean, he's great. But it is funny to think that the Peter David Aquaman, which ran 75 issues, is the longest running Aquaman title ever.

Yeah, he's never been a very successful character on his own, which is why it felt insane that Warner Brothers was going ahead with an Aquaman movie. But it is cool because, and I'm going to bring Ben in here. Please do. It's wet. It's soaking wet. This is the wettest hero there's ever been. So we're missing the one step of one, which I just

want to build this bridge between these two horror films. Over the water. Over troubled water. We both got there at the same time. Aqua water. One dollar for each of us. Thank you. I don't have change. Yeah, we don't do comedy points anymore. It's just cold hard cash.

A pile of dollars on the table. David's a money monster. So, he gets hired to do Furious 7. Because Justin Lin leaves after doing 5? 3, 4, 5, 6. Right. And James Wan takes over.

In the middle of production, Paul Walker dies. The film was already a big fucking undertaking. Sure. Became a crazier undertaking. But the movie is insanely successful. Becomes the third highest grossing film worldwide at that point in time. Yeah, it was like, and it probably will never be matched in the franchise. Right.

So he's kind of got the keys to the kingdom at that point because they went like, he took a franchise to a new height this late in the franchise. Right. So he's kind of got the keys to the kingdom at that point because they went like, he took a franchise to a new height this late in the series. He handled a really difficult nightmare production. Right. You know, all this sort of stuff. And he poignantly says, this movie kind of broke me. I don't want to be the new Justin Lin. I don't want to make the sequels.

I want to do something else. So now everyone's throwing at James Wan, like, take over our franchise. He's kind of got the keys to everything, and he latches on to Aquaman. Yes. That was not the first one they offered him. I mean, they were like, do you want to do a Flash movie, this or that? And he was like, I'm kind of into the idea of doing an Aquaman movie,

which was the one they couldn't get anyone to do. Orm. Orm. Like, Jeff Nichols had turned down Aquaman. I mean, that's weird that he would make that. Yeah. And James Wan was like, I'll spend all my capital on Aquaman. I mean, that's weird that he would make that. And James Wan was like, I'll spend all my capital on Aquaman. This is a chance for me to build a undersea universe. It's true.

I mean, you're right that it is bold because as everyone who is in the biz, this business we call show, knows water, expensive. Very. You add water to a picture, to a production, that's fucking expensive. Never work with water children or animals yes and this movie has a lot of animals aquaman not the big yeah a lot of animals you know seahorses you know yeah brian kings and so like big aquaman not a character with a huge built-in right so you gotta you gotta real potential for bomb and also they've already

cast an actor who is not a proven box office truck. No, he is not. He is a proven person. He's popular. People just want to think about him. Come on, Big J. He's pretty big. That's a good point. He's got little bodyguards

and a big body. Oh god, that tweet is so funny. They're like at his fucking armpits. For people who haven't seen this, it says, what is the point of Jason Momoa's bodyguards? And it's Jason Momoa being flanked by three men who look like me. But they're probably like 6'2". That's what's funny about it. It's a funny perspective photo.

And you know, the thing is, poor Jason Momoa was cast right off, you know, he was in your Game of Thrones, obviously. Only 10 episodes. I didn't realize he's only in the first season.

Right. I keep forgetting you haven't seen i haven't watched it but he's so he's not even in 10 he's probably in like well i actually i looked up on ndb i think he's in a full gentleman's town he's in the full first season cal drogo major character but you don't once you if you ever do get around to watching it cal drogo you're just like i want all that you can give me of this person. Even though he speaks a foreign, made-up language, is shirtless the entire time, and mostly cares about riding his horse. He fucking rules.

He's a crazy person. No, this is my thing. I've never seen Game of Thrones, and because of what a big cultural impression he left, I was like, well, obviously he left the show at some point to do movies. I forgot you hadn't seen it. I've never seen it. No, Khal Droga dies. Spoiler alert. He dies. I just told you I haven't watched the show! You told me you also looked up.

He did 10 episodes. He doesn't make it. I did. But then he played Conan. Remember that? Right, which didn't work. No, but I don't think that's on Jason. Don't blame it on him, but I'm just saying.

I have three things to say about it. Please. One, he didn't have a beard. Get out of here. He's beardless in that movie? What the fuck are you doing? No beard. Yeah.

He needs a beard. He's a bearded man. Yeah. No beard? Look at this shit. I had forgotten that. But Conan, I guess, is historically clean-shaped.

He looks like Conan O'Brien in this. Well, I mean, come on. Get out of here. Come on, get out of here and give David five bucks on Venmo. So,

constant Venmo transfer. And two, it was directed by someone called Marcus Nespio. Texas Chance of Massacre reboot. That was one of those movies that was probably filmed in a country that doesn't exist. I believe it's a Millennium Films production.

Narrated by Morgan Freeman. I take it all back. I lost that at trivia. We lost that question at trivia. Shit, I didn't remember that. I don't know if you can lay that out. Before Game of Thrones, he's a guy who was on Baywatch for years as the hunky Hawaiian. Baywatch Hawaii. He is a Hawaiian American.

He was born in Hawaii. And then he was on Stargate Atlantis for years and he was kind of a weird cult TV figure. He had dreads. Have you seen his dreads? I didn't know he had dreads. Look at this cool guy. I like him more. I remember reading an Ain't Itool story, not to invoke Satan. If that was from California, he would be like that weird guy on the boardwalk who sells

like hacky sacks. But I really am actually selling drugs. Drunky sacks. Inside. That's just a packaging system. When Aina Kool ran a story announcing that he'd been cast as Conan and I feel like they cast him before Game of Thrones had premiered

they were aware of his largeness I remember someone in the comments saying oh my god I can't believe this guy got a movie my sister and I were obsessed with Baywatch Hawaii and he was our biggest crush and we used to call him Beachwood Candle because we imagined used to call him Beachwood Candle

because we imagined he smelled like a beechwood candle. That's funny. Right. And so I always think about that whenever I see him. Sure.

I forgot that, right, you have this very I have a very weird relationship with him. I almost have never seen him in anything and I just know him as sort of like a meme

and as a physical presence and then he's like he was a bullet to the head. He was rumored to play Drax, but then apparently turned it down. They cast Batista. Batista's amazing. In a four-time Academy Award winning performance.

Correct, yes, yeah. And then, you know, Zack Snyder said like, this is my Aquaman. He's going to unite the seven and I'm going to have him on screen for one second in a piece of cell phone footage.

Right. He is in a... BVS. That BVS clip where he is clearly holding his breath underwater right and you're just like this is fucked this whole thing is fucked no because when to me when they cast him i was like that's brilliant because one obviously big imposing guy makes sense right kind of looks like the peter david aquaman two he's like a surfer guy water i see what you've done here And plus he's a person of color.

That's very cool. He's a cool dude. He's Khal Drogo. Let's not forget. So still, you're right. Not a box office draw in and of himself. No. Now when you add Julie Andrews playing a giant squid, then

John Rhys-David is the brain king. Correct. I took too big a bite of bagel. I'm sorry. He also has weirdly done No. Now, when you add Julie Andrews playing a giant squid, then that's rough. Correct. I took too big a bite of bagel. I'm sorry. He also has weirdly done two TV shows. He did The Red Road, which was on Sundance and was a flop. Then he's on this thing Frontier, which I believe is still going for the Discovery Channel. The big TV is so weird.

He's got a weird career, but it's a cart before the horse Channel. Depeak TV is so weird. He's got a weird career, but it's a cart before the horse thing. They had put him like, you know, He was good on SNL. I haven't watched it yet. It was fun. Can I do my tiny gripe corner?

Okay. I haven't watched the episode yet. I did watch his monologue. There was one moment that struck a particular ire in me. You know what it is? Because then I went to Twitter

to Google to see if anyone else was complaining about this. Okay. Here's the sentence. You know what it is? Because then I went to Twitter to Google to see if anyone else was complaining about this. Okay. Here's the sentence. I'll say it verbatim. Okay. I'm such a big SNL fan

that at one point I considered quitting from acting so I could audition for SNL. Uh-huh. Right. Right.

What's he saying? That, like, oh, well, acting's a thing, but if acting doesn't work out for me, I back up his become a sketch comedian?

Like, that's not acting I think you're reading too much I got furious and I turned off the episode I will watch it at some point I have not missed an episode of SNL in 17 years because I'm a robot you are a weird robot

the Damon episode was actually pretty good Matt Damon? I'll watch it I'm behind I'm behind, I don't know what to tell you You just said you haven't ever missed an episode I'm behind now, Hulu Here's the other thing about Jason Momoa He's married to

fucking Lisa Bonet You always forget that Lisa Bonet, from a different world He's Zoe Kravitz's stepdad Yeah, Lenny Kravitz's ex-wife from fucking high fidelity And he still hangs out with Lenny Kravitz's stepdaughter yeah lenny kravitz's ex-wife from fucking high fidelity and he still hangs out with lenny kravitz they took pictures together on instagram we're friends too wait you and who big j

so you're part of big j's posse now and he has several tattoos he's got a lot. Including one that reads, always be drunk in French. Sure. Now, they're doing this thing. A, they'd committed to Aquaman having a budget of like $250 million. This thing must have cost a fortune. I haven't seen a reported budget, but it must have cost so much fucking money. And it's all up there on the screen. It is all up there on the screen.

And more. Yeah. Yes. But the other thing is. I want to be clear. This movie is great it's so good david loves it it's so fucking good my here's my review and we'll dig into it i think it's the only movie he had this review ready when the fucking credits were rolling i got cards ready

ben's itching a card i'm gonna get it but i'm gonna say it it's the only movie i've samuel i've seen that simultaneously a one in a ten but i'm I've seen that's simultaneously a 1 and a 10. But I'm saying it's also a 10, Ben. I'm saying it's a Ben 10. Do it, Ben. Do it. Ben's slipping the fingers. It's a big rock card. It's a big rock card. Yeah, you get smashed with a big rock. Oh, no. Oh, shit. Oh, that hurt.

I love a new card. Big rock? How big are we talking? The card stock is thin, but somehow the card is heavy. It's a big rock. It's a big rock card. I actually need to calm myself down. Here we go. Yes.

So, yes, it was a crazy swing for, like, Jason Momoa hasn't led a big studio movie. Aquaman not a big hero. And yet here we are. Justice League, we're still not making work. Justice League, a flop. But at that point, they're well into production. No, no, no. That's what's crazy.

That's true. But I'm just saying, right, like this movie isn't being helped by any of these factors. No, none of these things. And so you feel like there's a lot of potential for a lot of meddling and second guessing here. That's true. That DC would come in and be like, ah, fuck, Justice League didn't work. So can Aquaman have like a fun rapping dog as his sidekick? Like, oh, shit, Justice League didn't work, so can Aquaman have a fun rapping dog as his sidekick?

Oh shit, what should we do? Can Supreme sponsor his armor? Anything, come on. Can Aquaman teach me how to dougie? No, but you go like, Justice League was entirely like, oh fuck, how do we respond to the Batman

versus Superman response? I'm sorry, Batman v Superman. Justice League is like, oh, fuck, how do we respond to the Batman versus Superman response? I'm sorry, Batman v Superman. Justice League is like, look, it's fun. We're having a fun time over here. Too much weird overcorrection. And then Wonder Woman, we all know, kind of slipped through the cracks. Well, Wonder Woman DC was like,

that'll make, what, $6 or $7? I've never heard of her. It's a write-off. It appears to star a woman. Uninteresting. Whoever greenlit this has been fired, I assume. We can write this off as charity, right? And makes like 800 million dollars like oh i guess people like that yeah it's a wonderful phone but but it is it looked more likely despite the fact that james

wan was coming off of a mega hit true several mega hits in a row there was already that kind of narrative of like poor james wan like he's gonna get saddled with this thing like but i mean i was even sort of seeing online that kind of like yeah when aquaman flops we can't blame james wan i mean what a thankless task it's a warner brothers fucked it up thing yeah and for all i know maybe this film will underperform in america i have no idea it seems like it's gonna do fine because here's my other big thing this is the first movie i've seen that seems like it is completely uninterested in north american audiences if it works here fine this feels like it was a movieested in North American audiences. If it works here, fine. This feels like it was

a movie made for Asia. I have one counterpoint. Sure. I think Venom has that too. Now Venom is so ineptly made that it's hard to argue that Venom had any conscious purpose. But it also has that slightly gooey big monster vibe that I feel like

this has. It kind of feels like Korean horror. Like it feels like The Host or something. Right. I'm doing the hindsight 20s because that movie made an astonishing amount of money in China. $900 million worldwide. It truly is about $900 million. It made half of Wonder Woman's money in America and has

eclipsed it worldwide, for example. Bananas. So I think Venom also has that vibe a little bit. What's different with Aquaman is Aquaman to me, that feels conscious and deliberate because I look at this and it kind of has the world building of like Chinese mythology it has sort of the intensity and density of like

binge watching an entire season of an anime show like a deep cut dorky anime show and it also feels a lot like a Bollywood epic to me where it's just like excess like there are no to me where it's just like excess. There are no peaks and valleys it's all just fucking big.

It just runs. It really doesn't have any chill out moments. I turned to you at one point and said this is the fucking Finnegan's wake of movies. You did say that. This is the densest film in American cinema history. I think you said exactly that. I was taking note of my lines because I wanted to repeat them on mic.

But it is a crazy fucking film and i saw someone yesterday now you and ben both just go like 10 out of 10 masterpiece yeah it was a weird thing like i just had an atlantean crown on my head when the movie was over my dick turned into a trident david at several points in the movie genuinely turned to me and went rules rules, rules, rules. When a character goes like, your mother had to leave in order to marry you based on the promise of the Force. I was saying both that the movie rules and that I loved all the rules the movie was introducing. It was that scene where Orm is like, of course I'll need four of the seven kingdoms

to claim the title of Ocean Master. And as we know, three of the kingdoms are this, that, and the other. And I'm like, oh boy. Now this is where the movie really feels like anime to me definitely like an anime series where it's just like there's no conversational dialogue in this film no any conversational dialogue is like video game cut scene level where it's like huh i guess i was asking for that like right it's characters with a lot of intensity and or attitude explaining a lot of world building. Because there's that, like some of the scenes in the trailer, like the one where he's like,

I could have just peed on it. People are like, Jesus, fuck, is this a Nickelodeon show? Like, this is terrible. But it's like, that's just the vibe. Right. And also. It's like a Resident Evil 4 cut scene. Right.

In the movie, the jokes are so fucking big and are only cut by like more exposition that it's a little more welcome than if you imagine like there's a nice conversational scene like steve trevor and wonder woman on a boat no wonder woman let's slow down let's understand these characters let's get to know everyone this movie never slows down i genuinely like got a headache from it which i'm not complaining about sure but it was just like when you walked out of the theater and we were like, we just need to adjust to silence for a little bit. We took a half hour walk.

We took a long walk off a short pier. And we joined Orm. We joined Orm. No, because that's like Orm, right? Orm. I'm going to say his name a lot. Orm. You love him.

Orm. Yeah. I mean, we got Gord. Now we got orm gourd is a little bit i'd say more quality he's got his hands on okay more quality you know gourd is a top shelf it's a finer thread count on gourd yeah yeah oh my god no orm like you never learn a fucking thing about him you don't know anything know anything. What does this guy do? I have no idea.

Everything you know about Orm is that he's the son of this and he's the brother of that. And that's why he behaves the way he does and that's that. And he only speaks in explanations of that. Yes. He only speaks like he's a fucking Roman senator. Right. And it's all just reliant on Patrick Wilson's look and performance

for you to get what's going on. You know what? Video game cutscene is very dead on. And we don't mean that as a negative, but it is like the dialogue scenes in this film serve to set up the stakes for the crazy visual shit that's going to happen in the same way that a dialogue cutscene in a video game has to prepare you to play

the next level. Yes, I mean, it's like a video game cutscene in like a Final Fantasy like, you know, where it's like the cutscenes actually are required. Right. Because like like, you know, and it's in those video games where you're like, oh, can I skip this? And the where it's like the cut scenes actually are required right because like like you know and it's in those video games where you're like oh can i skip this and the video game is like yeah yeah you know and then you have to watch it and then you're like like otherwise you not gonna understand the objective of the scene right and you know you know for one minute you're like this is dumb yeah right and then like three minutes later you're like i'm fully emotionally

invested in this right yes um but but you know to some people as we're describing this this might sound like a nightmare the thing is this movie just has like such fucking audacity right and such imagination it's got that wachowski vibe the wachowskis are better yes but like they're better than everyone but it has that which that unembarrassed vibe that that's sort of like, this is what we're doing. We're not trying to be like, not, it is truly one of the nerdiest films I've ever seen.

It's quite nerdy. It is quite nerdy. And it nerdy about Atlantis. And that's the thing. There are no attempts to try to make Aquaman hip or cool. No, like they make him like triumph is making him less cool. Yes.

Like, you know, he's no longer the Snyder thing where it's like he wears jeans and no shirt. The triumph of the movie is like he's finally in gold. It's like bright orange. And the other thing is the MacGuffin of this movie is the trident because Snyder famously was like... This was your take. This is a smart take.

Trident isn't cool enough. He needs to have five blades. And you're like, but then it's not a trident anymore? Try. Try. It's not like that's gonna accomplish anymore try means three and this movie is literally willem dafoe rolling out a map and he's like you must find the true trident and he's like i have one of those and he's like no that sucks fuck that thing right so like the movie it's like his mom's or whatever but it is a crucial moment in the movie that it gets like cut in half but it is like you know on a surface level the movie is saying like aquaman needs to learn to wear a dorkier costume and have a simpler weapon right he has to stop trying to like show off how badass he is yes you know and that's the thing is like when the movie right the movie's

premise is like we all know aquaman he's that fun guy from justice league who says my man and aquaman's like yeah and he's like drinking a giant beer right right that's the set up it's like what we need him to understand is that the politics of Atlantis are very complicated and he needs to learn about that I would say there is one scene in this movie that feels like it's from a human movie go ahead a normal human American movie which is uh him at the bar well you mean when the tough guys are like... You think they're trying to start a fight with him and so they want selfies and then he drinks a lot and David was so charmed.

Can I confess? I was so fooled by that. Yes. Because this is still early in the movie. So what we've had so far... Let's say this. So it opens with... Let's go to the front. It opens with Jason Momoa saying, Jules Verne wants this. And you and I both all three of us just start pumping our fists to the front. It opens with Jason Momoa saying, Jules Verne wants it.

And you and I both, all three of us just start pumping our fists in the air. And Joanna's like, can you keep it down? People are looking at me. Exactly how this movie should start. And I should mention, by the way, we're going to talk about it a little bit.

There's a couple in front of Ben and I at the theater who are talking, but like full conversation talking at this point. They're just having regular voice conversation. Regular voice conversation. Yes, okay. So Jules Verne once said, an Aquaman lays out the story of his father, a humble lighthouse keeper, walking to the end of the

dock and seeing Atlanta, Georgia, Queen of the Ocean. On a very rainy night. Very rainy night. Wet. Wet. Wet. Night time. Night wet. Night wet. Night wet. Ben, can you pause the podcast for a second? I just want to ask David a personal question.

Yeah, sure. So just mark this and then cut it out, obviously, because I have a question I forgot to ask David before we started. Yeah, no, go ahead. David, do you love movies? I do love movies. Okay, well, this is where it's going to get really personal. Okay. Do you go to the theater so often that your hair smells like popcorn and the bottom of your shoes are always sticky?

I'm famous for my sticky shoes. Your smelly hair. Okay, Ben, make sure this doesn't make it into the feed, okay? Okay. I got to tell you a secret. Okay. At nearly 500 episodes, the Slash Filmcast is one of the longest running, most popular movie podcasts

on the planet. Oh, okay. Yeah, I know it well. Yeah. Toasted by David Chen and Davindra Hardwar from Engadget and Jeff Cannata from the Tony Redd Show. Yeah, you know, you know, clearly the Slash Filmcast is informed, irreverent, entertained discussion of every movie you go see

or wish you could. Yeah, they got celebrity guests. They have the annual summer movie wager. Ah, yes. Try to guess the box office. They got the very judgmental slash film court where movie-related dilemmas are adjudicated. And it makes the show more like it's like a movie and TV lovers can't miss podcasts of the week. Yeah.

So, you know, here's the real secret. Ben, just make sure, like, put the mark here. Don't cut back in the podcast until after this. So, you know, here's the real secret. Ben, just make sure, like, put the mark here. Don't cut back in the podcast until after this. No, you can, yeah. No, because I don't want

people knowing this. You can find the Slash Filmcast wherever you download podcasts. Oh. Anywhere that you download podcasts. You can find it,

but also, you can go to slashfilmcast.com. You could. Yeah, you could do that. Okay, Ben, now cut back in. What's up so

he rescues Atlanta and immediately you go oh they're letting Nicole Kidman have fun she's like talking to a dog

and eating a goldfish that's true because Nicole Kidman had been offered the queen role in Wonder Woman that's right turned it down

at that point you imagine she's like I'm Nicole Kidman. I don't want to play the and in a superhero movie. I don't want to play the superhero's mom. Right. And Connie Britton played that role? Yes.

Like not the sexiest role. No, she's good in it. She's solid in it. But like at the time it was like, oh, fuck it. She's only taking Aquaman because she regrets passing on Wonder Woman. But this is a role that is so much more well suited to Nicole Kidman and her weird, like avant-garde large ventriloquist theater taste. I will say another thing. Maybe this is mean.

Yeah. I do like Nicole though. Uh huh. The, the age smoothing, you know, tomorrow, Morrison looks kind of crazy.

Cause it's like, I'm like, I know what he looked like younger and this wasn't it. No. Whereas Nicole who has a very smooth face, I'm not being, that's all we're saying saying I'm just saying her face is quite smooth has been for a long

time yes look like it works so well on her where I'm like oh yeah it kind of looks like Nicole Kidman from a few years ago right but also to the degree where they have to age her up in the later stuff exactly because she looks too young yeah yeah anyway uh spoiler but Nicole's being fun Nicole's being fun and you're like so

is this like Splash? Sure, sure. Yeah. Well, they got to. But they got to. Well, it moves so fast. Because it's like she meets him, and then cut to them in bed. She's pregnant.

Right. Cut to some. Her reading him a story. Yeah. Right. Little Arthur. Little Artie. And then a bunch of Aqua Soldiers come in.

Now, Ben gets amped because they start fighting off these guys. To be clear, aqua soldiers. Aqua soldiers. Okay, these are guys in white atmosphere suits. Now, that's the thing. They look maybe like a scuba suit, but the thing is, it's the opposite.

It's to keep the water in. There's water in the suit. They have helmets. Their faces you see from between, betwixt a water screen. You know, someone could maybe have mentioned this earlier in the movie, but apparently like the high-born Atlanteans like your Nicole Kidman's can breathe out of water. Yes.

Everyone else needs the water. They mention it a little later in the movie, but boy, do they ever mention it. They do. They do. Yes. Yeah. Right. So only our main characters can breathe on land.

And these other characters now need to create water suits. Which immediately you're like, he's coming with better logic than the fucking Justice League thing where you're like, are they going to have to make a bubble every time they talk? Yeah, fuck that. Can none of them? Like, what the fuck is going on? But now here's another thing. They've got lasers powered by water. Water lasers.

They've got hydro lasers. They do have hydro. I agree. I agree that they fucking water. Water lasers. They got hydro lasers. They do have hydro. I agree. I agree that they fucking rule. Water turns into laser. So they do this big fake CGI wonder where Nicole Kidman, Academy Award winner Nicole Kidman. That's accurate. We stand a legend, fights all these Aqua soldiers, and as she hits them, water comes out, and Ben gets amped.

It's cool. And she's taken she is taken oh no no no she leaves with the sort of like I'm gonna have they're gonna come for me she surrenders she fights them off but then goes back and she's like I'll see you

at let's be honest probably the end of this film right on this dock at sunrise then the movie hard cuts to a submarine? A Russian submarine. Yes. Yes it does. And we're introduced to Black Manta

and his father. Of course. Blacker Manta. But it's Beach Manta. Yes. Like a beach. Yahya Abdul-Mateen the second.

That's right. Who I think is a fucking movie star. So what do you I mean he's in The Get Down. I knew him in that. I tried watching half of Baywatch on a plane. Oh right. Who I think is a fucking movie star. So what do you, yeah, I mean, he's in the get down. I knew him in that. I tried watching half of Baywatch on a plane.

Oh, right. I've never seen it. And it's a nightmare. But I was like, this is the only guy who's funny in this movie. Who is this guy? Is this some comedian I don't know about?

Then I realized he was the guy from the get down, which I didn't recognize him from. He's a Clarence in that. Then he was in the greatest showman. He plays Zendaya's brother. He does. And I was like, this guy can do fucking anything.

I know. I mean, underserved in that movie, but yes. He's underserved in almost every movie because he should be the lead of every film. I guess he could have been the lead. I just think this is a guy who's got a lot of range, a lot of versatility, a lot of charisma. Did I blow up? No, I blew it. I'm blowing everything today, baby.

We're blowing this mic. Ben's bad. Just back off the mic a little bit. I think this guy's great and I think he's great in every genre and I got real excited when he's playing Black Manta who is a very cool looking character. So I don't know much about the Aquaman comics. I know nothing.

I'm a Marvel boy. I know maybe more than you but still I would have a few. I was a big Batman guy and the rest of the DC Universe I didn't fuck with that much. But I had, I knew who Black Manta was. I'm sorry Bartman. Go on. go on because of his design ben he would show up in the iconography and the trading saucer shaped helmet with the red eyes very like 50s sci-fi movie which was always cool fucking awesome it's a great costume and then when they posted that trailer i think it was the second trailer that had the extended sort of cut of their big fight scene yeah and people

were like geez this looks goofy i was were like, geez, this looks goofy. I was like, what do you mean this looks goofy? Yeah, what are you talking about? Yeah, like a goofy movie looks goofy. This looks amazing. An extremely goofy movie looks even goofier. Do you like sea crime? What are you, some sea crime apologist?

Is this the greatest episode we've ever done? You don't want sea justice? No, you want sea crime! They're not pirates. Now to be fair, they're way beyond that. The opening of this movie could basically call Sea Crime League, right? You could. Now this is where this movie I'm starting to realize the narrative

ambition of just how deep they're going because it's like, okay, we're introducing Black Manta this early on. Now clearly what they're gonna set up is that Aquaman kills Black Manta's father going to introduce the Black Manta this early on. Now, clearly what they're going to set up is that Aquaman kills Black Manta's father and the movie is Black Manta wanting revenge. They're like weird, independent. To the point, they have a weird

sea craft. To the point where I am watching the movie and I'm like, I could have sworn Black Manta was a human and not an Atlantean in my limited understanding. Because I was like, are they trying to trends up that they're like Navy SEALs and then he becomes a supervillain? They are elite criminals.

Right. Very elite. Yeah. And Michael Beach has that monologue that we were talking about off mic where he's like, listen, your father, Black Manta. Yes.

Except he wasn't Black Manta. He was just Manta. My father. Right. He's talking about the first Manta. Right, right, right. He was Manta in. My father. He's talking about the first Manta. Right, right, right. He was Manta in World War II. And then he went back to the sea.

And I was like, he went back to the sea? They've just taken over a Russian submarine, attacked a bunch of men. For reasons unknown. And then Michael Beach turns to Yaya Abdul-Mateen and says, this feels like a good time to tell you. My father, your grandfather. Here's a ceremonial knife.

And gives him the speech of the history of the knife. Okay, so you're just like, wait, how is this character set up? Meanwhile, Jason Momoa is like, howdy, and hitting people with his pecs. Right, and he's doing the classic Juan flip that they do in Furious 7, where when they throw a guy, the camera tilts with the guy. Right. The perspective shifts. Yes.

When the rock rock bottoms Jason Stathatham or whatever he does that yeah exactly um and uh and and so then he comes head to head they're all fighting aquaman right aquaman's like you're you're messing up this submarine uh no good which by the way i just love that michael beach's two december releases are aquaman and if beale street could talk he's very good and michael beach playing tough but intense michael beach of third watch yes he played the dirtbag husband in er yes but playing supportive but somewhat haunted fathers this is true in aquaman and beale street yes this is all true but i also love that right aquaman right now he's not concerned with atlantis no he just been in the justice league literally just see just so right he like, there's a crime at sea.

Aquaman is there. I'm the sea cop. Right. I'm a lone sea cop. So he... Now, they're fighting him. He tridents or five dents Michael Beach. Yeah.

And Manta is... He doesn't even know. He just throws like a pipe through him. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He pipe punctures him. But then he unpipes him. He's like, all right, unpipe.

Yeah. But then some shit falls on him. Remember some like, you know, because, oh, it's because Michael Beach throws a grenade or something. Right. He pipe punctures him. But then he unpipes him. He's like, alright, unpipe. But then some shit falls on him. Remember? You know, because Michael Beach throws a grenade or something. So some shit falls on him. Michael Beach is like because his son is going to try to save him. That's later. First he throws a grenade

or he shoots an explosive. Something blows up and it falls on him. Because they already have kind of crazy technology at this point. And you're like, what world is this movie set in? And all this it falls on him because they already have kind of crazy technology at this point and you're like what world is this movie setting who fucking right and all this shit's on him and black man just like uh you know help me and aquaman's like you know the sea beg to the sea right that's the sea for justice yeah and he's still riding his snyder shirtless tattoo look and that's his jeans jeans right uh sea law jeans and boot that is sea law according to ben so apparently this is all above board michael beach kills himself so that his son will

will save himself yes and he gets up to land on his weird stingray ship and immediately is like justice right yes so you're like okay i get that this is a revenge thing but also who the fuck is this guy so now the movie cuts back to aquaman at the bar right yeah yes and he's drinking with his pops pops the people guys come up and they're like hey you that aqua guy from the tv yeah and i'm like oh fuck this is so fucking hacky yeah we just saw him beat up michael beach and you know like we really need like another badass scene i genuinely fall for it right right and then the joke is they're like they want selfies and he's like okay angry in the selfies and then you see through the course

of selfies he gets drunk with them and starts having a great time and it's a lovely thing the first oscar was delivered by me to be clear i brought in a garbage bag of 12 oscars and i would throw them at the screen every time I liked it. Best supporting selfie. Torm Morrison, ego. Father of Aquaman, Boba Fett, and Moana. That's quite a lineage. I mean, he was the man who

asked us to consider the coconut and consider his trees. I think Christopher Jackson was the singing voice. But yes, fair enough. Oh, fuck, you're right. See, Jack? He's cool, too. Yeah, he rules. He's going to be a guest on Mrs. Peregrine. Both of them together. To be clear.

Jackson will do the singing. Tomorrow we'll do the talking. I'll say this. If we ever do a Moana episode, that's our goal. Bring them both in, and if everyone, they want to sing, Chris or Jackson can be like oh it's me now that's a big thing

I miss from like the 90s Disney musicals when they started going after bigger names and it would always be a different singing voice it would be like the weirdest one was

B.D. Wong as the romantic lead of Mulan but Donny Osmond did the singing voice despite B.D. Wong being a lovely singer a great Broadway singer

don't know what's going on there yeah they just wanted Mulan what I know some people really like that movie I think Mulan is okay the singing voice, despite B.D. Wong being a lovely singer. A great Broadway singer. Don't know what's going on there. Yeah, they just wanted... What? I know some people really like that movie. I think Mulan is okay. It's really... I think the song... I don't like the song.

I like the song. I like... Oh. It's got some good stuff in it. I like the animation and I like the central plot. The song's... The action sequences in Mulan are very good.

It was the best Disney had ever done in a large-scale serious action. I don't think the movie totally worked. Right. Anyway, talk about Aquaman man he's talking about how much they miss

his mother Mira shows up at this point right they're driving on the side of the ocean that's right

in their SUV yeah and Mira shows up and immediately they like as I said you can't figure out yeah Mira's like

you need to come to Atlantis. A lot of important shit going on. But it feels like the exact conversation she had with him in Justice League when he's like, no, hard pass. Right, and he does that again. Drives on. Right. And she's like, what about the Justice League thing? Right, right.

He's like, yeah, whatever. Yeah, and he's like, I'm into justice. I'm not into sea justice. You know, because she's like, you said you didn't want to help anybody, but you helped them. Right. Can't save the world alone. He's a land person. He's a land person.

So now, then he drives off. Okay. So here's some things that I'm thinking. One, well then how do you get his trident? How do you learn all this shit? Right. Like he's like never been, what did you go last time? And then the other thing I'm thinking is,

whoa, this scene looks like Ponyo because then it's like a big ocean. The car is out racing like a tidal wave. Yes, she can control liquid. No, but she doesn't do that. That's Orm. I know, but I'm just setting that up. Then she saves them. Right, she makes a little sea wall

and she saves them even though the father gets badly hurt. She has to suck the water out of his lungs with her hand. Kind of cool. But yes, at this point you're going like, where the fuck is this going? And Mera and Aquaman stand

onto the edge of a cliff. And then this movie starts employing one of the weirdest narrative structures ever. Which I can only equate to Speed Racer. Where there aren't flashbacks. They're just transitions where there are flashbacks like Russian nest, doll nested. Oliver Stone's Alexanderander also does this where it's just sort of jumping from period to period with you know with abandon but the thing that he's doing in this that's very speed racer is like you don't

have the lights right yeah right so it's like like mera and aquaman will be talking the camera will spin around them and then once it gets to the other side now it's the foe and young aquaman and then when it moves around again it's back to present day there's also like middle aquaman there's like teen aquaman who's kind of cute where he's like oh fuck you i want to be aquaman right now where's my mom it's the moana aged aquaman and they've set up this idea that like he grew up on the land but then volko who's played by willem defoe would periodically come up to land to train him. What's up, bro? And be like, I'm at no one's authorization. His mom's authorization. But he's saying that the mom is...

Well, he says that later. Right, so, God, it's so confusing. He's like, I swore an oath to your mother to train you, so here I am to train you. He's like, can I meet my mom? She's like, she's super busy right now, but yeah, maybe later. So you're like, he's covering for the fact that she's dead.

Then he finally tells her four flashbacks, which means one hour later. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Your mom vanished and she was executed by someone threw her into the darkest, what's it called? The Trench Kingdom. Right.

From which she was never seen a dead. So obviously 100% she's definitely dead. But there's this notion that. And I turned to Griffin and I said, look, yes, she's dead. That's it. We won't see her again. Right. Orm is trying to steal the throne because he's next in line.

But the one person who could challenge. T, she's dead. That's it. We won't see her again. Right. Orm is trying to steal the throne because he's next in line, but the one person who could challenge... Tragic Kingdom. Yes. Tragic Kingdom. The one person who could challenge Orm for the throne is Arthur Forrest Bourne. Yes. So she's like, come on down. Just have a quick gladiatorial battle. She does

pull a Price is Right. She says, come on down. She says, come on down. Awkward Price is Right. She says come on down. She says come on down. Aqua prices in the wheel got to get that penny got to get that dollar. Oh my God. Oh my God, what a masterpiece. I just have to

think about this from where yeah, so then they go down bam. Listen up in hers. Here we go. Water car here. Yeah, here's when i get a fucking water erection is when she's in her water car she gets in like the fucking highway right to the gate and and he's like oh why are we doing this she's like well you know atlantic atlantis customs control but luckily i have diplomatic clearance that's the point where you say rules rules rules that's when you turn to me and said rules rules rules rules, rules, rules. That was it. That was it. Oh my god.

She's like, those are the hydro cannons. No one could get past those. And immediately, I was like, someone's getting past those within ten minutes. Another thing that might sound like faint praise, and your mileage may vary, but this movie does answer every fucking possible question you could have. Because all characters

do is explain the rules of their universe. I have one remaining question. Which is? How do they go to the bathroom? Because it's all water. Well, Ben had one question before the movie that was also not answered. Do they shower?

Yeah, but they use air to shower. Yes. Right? They must. That's the trick. Yeah, right. Therein lies the rub. Yeah.

So now they're underwater and this portion of the movie movie the way that they do not take time slowly introducing you to the world feels like if you went to a all you can eat buffet and then they just came to your table with the entire buffet and dumped it on your plate sure like they're not waiting for you to be like first try some egg rolls right then come back for a salad course right you know this is a combination platter right away right then the combination is everything yes right yeah it's like squid but also like squid eggs right you know right and they're like of course there are five kingdoms the kingdoms of the

trench the brine kingdom as we all know there are five kingdoms so there's atlantis yeah they they're blue they're kind of bluey and they're pretty humanoid right then there's green kingdom that i always forget the name of which is ruled over by dolph lundgren it's called zebel right i don't know why yeah i looked it up in the comic books it like exists in something called the aqua dimension right would love to know more uh he is mirror's father i want to know more exactly he's mirror's father yes he's an angry bearded man who rides an angry bearded seahorse. They'd ride seahorses.

This is the key thing. Right. Patrick Wilson and the Atlanteans ride sharks. Yes. They have a fucking summit. Yes. At like underwater Coliseum. Okay.

So at this point in the movie, the couple that is sitting in front of us. Yeah, they out. Because it is taking longer for us to explain the section of the movie than it takes for the movie to get through it. Sure. This maybe is 12 minutes, right? I guess so, yeah. Like, maybe even 10. Like, this thing's moving so fucking fast.

But this couple in front of us, when the sharks come on screen, he takes out his phone and starts showing her videos of the time he went diving with sharks. It's videos from his cell phone of him in the cage with the sharks coming up. Oh my god. Uh-huh. And we're like, just fuck already. Put us out of our misery. No. There's five kingdoms.

Okay, five kingdoms. Atlanteans. Zebel. The brine kingdom. We don't see them. Yeah. Turns out they're crab people. The trench.

The trench. They mentioned that they're kind of animalistic. Right. And then Jaman Hunsu's kingdom? The fisherman kingdom. The fisherman. Now, they are fishmen. Yeah.

Drop the er. It's cleaner. It's cleaner. They're fishmen. They are fishmen. Fish women. Fish children. Right.

They're big fish. So what we are hearing in this is like- Tim Burton. Tim Burton. Tim Burton. Tim Burton, hashtag Tim Burton. The more warlike people are the Atlanteans and the Zebel, Patrick Wilson and Dolph Lundgren. They're ready to launch a war on the surface right now. Right.

They know the fishermen in the Brine Kingdom have to be kind of brought in line. There are two big tasks for any character in this film. Because once you control four kingdoms, you're the ocean master. We all know it. Right. We know this to be true.

Can you control i'm getting a text all of our girlfriends have dumped us all 27 people ben has been on dates with in the last week have said interesting everyone ever had sex with is disavowing any knowledge of me wow interesting oh i've been fired from all jobs. Oh, no. Let's check the Patreon. These things are coming to Lifeline. Yeah, so there's also the Trench Kingdom. Now, there's two other kingdoms.

That we don't see. That I believe are just unaccounted for. Now. Sequel. Hello. Yes. We were also arguing. We'll get to it.

But there was another. There's another space you see in the film, and your girlfriend was arguing that perhaps that was a kingdom, and I was arguing it was not. Because it's not underwater, but it kind of is. And it felt like it wasn't on their radar. They weren't really keeping tabs on that thing. They kind of talk about the trench and the other two kingdoms as sort of written off.

No one's heard from those kingdoms in forever. Right, but then when you get to Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom, it's filled with dinosaurs. The worst kingdom. It's an underground ocean. Thank you. That's a good joke.

There are dinosaurs in that kingdom. That's true. Unaddressed, by the way. Yeah. They're just sort of walking around. It's at the core of the earth.

I want to be clear that this film is very good. Very good. It's a fine film. Ten stars. Fish. Can we. Ten of plankton.

I don't want to regurgitate material here, but Ben, can you pull up your Twitter review just so we can go over those talking points? I want to make sure we cover them. Sure. But another thing that's happening. I mean, you would sort of systematically, whenever a new element got introduced, run over to me, like, everything. They got everything. They're covering everything. It's all the

things. It's all the things. I think at one point I said, I have to take an oath of silence now. You did say that. Because this movie's too good, I can't talk. We're eating Cheetos popcorn out of a bucket, drinking bottled water, because we're aqua boys. And Ben and David are on either side of me losing their mind

yep so then they very quickly get to the gladiatorial battle right yeah well so right he's Orm they have a little combo in like a fucking ghost ship with an air bubble with Willem Dafoe where he's like yeah I'm not really Orm's guy I'm your guy

no Zuko can breathe oh you're saying in an air bubble not they make an air bubble his name is Volko Volko I'm sorry fucking Christ Zuko is from the last airbender I know they have the combo where Willem Dafoe is like I know I'm working for Orm but I'm on your side

Dolph's hair is just waving in the water also they have the thing where it's like if they're talking underwater there's kind of like an echo to their voice I'm working for Orm, but I'm on your side. Dolph's hair is just waving in the water. Also, they have the thing where it's like if they're talking underwater, there's kind of like an echo to their voice, which works better than it sounds. Which is just like, God, the balls they have to commit to all of this shit. There's one scene that's just James Wan's balls.

Yeah. Just a shot of them. Yeah, and you commit to it. And you're like, God, these are great. This movie feels like, and I want to make it clear, I say this in a positive way. Yeah. You know, like the hacky joke of like, oh, do a bunch of cocaine and try to write your screenplay?

Sure. This feels like a movie where every step was done on cocaine. But it feels like- Where the screenplay was written on cocaine, post-production was done on cocaine, pre-production was done on cocaine. The screenplay was written by Atlanteans on cocaine. Yes, correct. You know what I mean? Because they're like, well, we got to get this part about our culture into the movie. Right. You know what I mean? Because they're like, well, we gotta get this part about our culture into the movie. You know what I mean? Yeah, and we should mention

there was a part in our screening where the projector broke down because the uh, Cineopolis employee had tried to pour cocaine into the projector. As was written on his instructions. It wasn't his fault. Play it loud. So when they're having this secret meeting, uh, Orm's

sea cops, uh, arrest arrest uh arthur he's brought to uh orm justice you know for an orm summit ocean ocean justice i believe they call it yeah warm orm orm and that involves a big chain there are four big orm chains yes and orm servants are holding arthur that's kind of cool. Kinda. Excuse me. Well said. Wait, did you want him to read the Twitter? Yeah, I mean,

we don't do that at any point. I just feel like you should go over those bullet points. I'm ready when you do it. Okay. So, my tweet. Composed yesterday.

Sunday afternoon. We saw Saturday night. I needed some time to think. And here it goes. aquaman is my movie made for me it's wet as fuck huge beasts sea crime synth music parkour happens Carcore happens. The intonation. Water lasers. Someone is called Ocean Master.

Wow. And again. So, fucking wet. Wet. Ten stars. The music is very interesting because it is very synthy. And I think it reminds me. Rupert Gregson.

What does this score remind me of? And what it reminds me of is the Daft Punk Tron Legacy score. Which this movie also kind of reminds me of in terms of just like the sheer world-building visual audacity commitment to a dorky thing that's pretty niche in popularity. I liked Rupert's score for Wonder Woman. And I like this score too. Because it's a great movie. They also feel like that score,

which is kind of synthy, combined with the Dolph Lundgren casting feels like, I said this to you, Go ahead. This like tip of the hat to the alternate universe.

What if post-Burton Batman instead of studios making The Shadow and Dick Tracy they made other DC characters. The Aquaman. Right. There is a very clear John Peters' Aqu a very clear imaginary 1991 Jan de Bont directed Dolph Lundgren Aquaman.

Absolutely. Like that's what that movie would have been. It would have been 90% on land. Right. Because they couldn't pull any of this off. Aquaman would have flown a helicopter at some point. Right. Right.

Yeah. It would have been everyone holding their breath. Totally. What else are you going to do? Right. Jesus. But this movie you go like, how did they have the technology to pull this off?

I don't know. Because most of the movies wire work. They're underwater for the vast majority of the film. wire work shit is really difficult. P.S. It's really painful. And then you add water. It's hard to act. It's hard to do dialogue scenes in wires. But but also as we all

know water makes it better true i have seen ben would bankrupt a studio because like they'd be like we got this rom-com he's like underwater please how did this rom-com go 300 billion over budget if i made it underwater from the whole thing in a tank? Ben Hosley's been arrested? Yeah. All right, go on. No, I remember seeing James Wan like 18 months ago when they were filming this,

posting videos of how they were doing it. And it was like a lot of the hair is CGI, which is a fucking nightmare. But it kind of has to be. Right. Some of the characters have real tight like man buns. Yeah, there's some top knots. Right.

Willem Dafoe and Patrick Wilson. Yeah, right. That's a top knot. Man bun was the guy who was sitting in front of us, who looked like beta Jason Momoa. Uh-huh. At this point in the movie, they are full-on making out. That's great. Like hardcore, like five minutes in,

coming for air, making out. What I was going to say is, they had to build, I believe, mechanical arms so that they were moving. They weren't just in harnesses, but also other arms for props and for the flowing of their costume or their hair or shit like that. Insane shit. And that's how difficult it is to shoot the live action elements before you even have to render this shit, which the density of the imagery in this movie is bananas.

I was talking to Esther, who had interviewed James Wan. I'm going to get, I assume a piece will go up, so there'll be more. But one thing she was telling me was that the submarine scene, he said, was the hardest scene because they built a genuine submarine and sunk it in like a giant tank of water. And so it was on like hydraulics, you know, and they were like tilting it all over. I'm punching David because that's good. I accept your punches. David because that's good. I accept your punches.

So that all's great. Crazy. So then, right. Orm shows up. He's like, what's up, Arthur? Fuck you. I'm the ocean master. And Arthur's like, I don't like you.

And he's like, oh, are you challenging me? Is that a challenge? Is that a challenge? Yeah, yeah. Fine. It's a challenge. Arthur's like, yeah, whatever, bro. Right.

So they suit up. The amount of times Ben is adjusted. They suit up and Mira's like, you can't fucking challenge him, man. And is this when she puts on the dress made of jellyfish? Correct. Correct. But first she talks to him. She's like, you don't understand.

You know, if you lose this challenge, you're fucked. And like, this is his world. He's going to he's going to Aqua. Fuck you, man. Like, it's bad's bad meanwhile i am engaged to him yes so i have to put on my jellyfish dress and watch from a box as he aqua right and her and defoe are like you're the only one who can unite the kingdoms right right but he keeps on saying to everyone like i have no interest in this yeah right i mostly drink beer yeah i'm getting out of here as quickly as possible. Sure.

Classic refusal of the call. Yeah. And yeah, there's some prophecy about a fucking Aqua person who's going to fucking unite the Aqua Kingdom. The folks says,

I believe in you, Sharkbait. This is... You can get us out of the dentist's office. This is the thing. Yeah. Apart from the reference you just made,

which was good. Thank you. Sharkbait. Yes. Mooney. The plot is so simple. The plot is just he's from another world and he's got to unite the kingdoms and get the magic trident. It's a quest.

It's a checklist of kingdoms you have to go to to get the trident. There's a section where it becomes an Indiana Jones movie. Definitely, which is right after searching for clues but like it somehow manages to be so dense and do the whole Black Manta origin origin of his costume and then a big fight and tease for future movies

I just can't believe Warner Brothers didn't streamline this into the significantly less expensive and less alienating movie that is just like most of it's on Landon's him searching for the Trident and they have fun banter to the significantly less expensive and less alienating movie that is just like, most of it's on Landon's, him searching for the Trident, and they have fun banter.

Yeah, right, right, right, right. Because I remember, like a year ago, what was clearly leaked by Warner Brothers were like reactions from a test screening. Right. Where they were like,

it's so much fun, the DC universe is back. Yeah, which seemed a little thirsty. They said, it's like actually really fun it's like a romancing the stone type thing right and I'm like did Warner Brothers think they were making romancing the stone

because the two of them go searching for an object at one point but like it's not that movie and you could see Warner Brothers being like make that movie but they didn't no they have a bit of that yes what they did is they made a movie where an octopus plays drums. And I saw that.

Yeah. And I went, well, now the world's different. Well, because usually most drummers only have two arms. But this. A drum kit, you have several different skins to hit. Right. Yeah, we only got two arms to do it with. Yeah.

Yeah. But what if you're having an aqua gladiatorial battle, for example? You got to hire a puss. So they have the big fight. I will have no trouble in the future from here on out referring to octopus as solely as puss. That means the only puss you're getting. Yeah, pusses. Hey!

Hey! Get out of here, please. Yeah, no, that was stupid. They have the big fight. Patrick Wilson wins. You don't have a girlfriend anymore either. No, of course not. No woman's allowed to look at me after this episode publishes. For their safety. Apparently we become key witnesses in the Mueller investigation.

Just reading this on my phone right now. Oh boy. Oh God. Oh weird. Al Pacino's going to play me on Saturday Night Live? Oh wait, he Oh, weird. Al Pacino's going to play me on Saturday Night Live? Oh, wait. He's waking up. Ah! The dog's off the leash.

What do you think, Aquaman? I loved it. It was soaking wet. Like a big, wet pile of garbage. Roger, Roger. There he is. He's drifting away as the tide sinking back to his classic december low tide

um so uh they have the fight they lose mira intervenes saves him yes and that's when they go on their quest right she evades the hydro cannons. Of course. As one must do. Then do they go to the desert? Right. Right? Yes. Because they have the doohickey. Right. They play I want to just really quick. Please. As they're exiting the city in her ship

you realize it's almost like a air fight, right? Or a space fight, but in the ocean. His pitch is underwater space. That's James Wan's big idea. 100%, which I love.

I really love. I love the design of these ships and shit. More complicated and more expensive to produce on screen. But at some point, we've cut back to black manta yeah he's around on his stingray ship and orm's men come to him yes because he hijacked the submarine on orm's behalf so you find to use it in a submarine like false flag attack to give orm justification to attack the surface world duh right because the Because the intro is so, like, the basic step is, why is he doing this?

This moment is going to be the first moment that Black Manta realizes that sea people exist. Aquaman's going to drag him into this world. When in fact, he's been a mole fighting against humanity, the landlubbers. And another thing, though, you're wondering, how do people, do they call each other on the phone?

This is what I wanted to get to. What crucial do they have? What do they have as a communication technology? It's like a water hologram. Wet tech. Water forms into Orm's body. Now, this is the body of Orm. He's the fucking ocean master.

It's similar. No simple body. It's similar like a vibranium dust wristwatch thing that Black Panther does, but I think this affects actually better. I love it. Well, I like the vibranium. The vibranium's really cool, though. I like that because it's like the little pin things. You know what I don't like about it?

What? I don't like that it's in color. Sure. Like, I like the Aquaman thing where they're all, like, blue-tinted. And I don't like in Black Panther, which I recently rewatched, that it's like the little pin dust thing, and then it just becomes like a full-color Danny Guerrero headshot. I agree with you that the fact that they turn water blobs

into Patrick Wilson's body makes a lot of sense. And the thing we've both been asking for for years. Anyway, the other thing I love is that- But so there you go, here's your money. No, no, but that's the best part. He's like, here's your money, and pays him in like doubloons. Yes, gold Atlantean coins. Like what's fucking Black Manta going to do with a treasure chest of pirate gold?

Melt the gold and then buy more sea crime tools. So then Black Manta throws the gold coins back at them. And he's like, I don't want that. I want revenge. Right. So Orm's like, okay, do you want like a bunch of weird Atlantean tech? Right. So you're like a pro bono.

Yeah. Black ops, human. Human Atlantean justice, sea crime. Right. So they give a bunch of tech. There's a montage of him making the Black Manta suit. This is in the middle of the movie. He like paints it and he reworks it.

Like the lasers are so powerful powerful they split the helmet in half So he says I'm gonna need a bigger helmet By the way three Oscars got flung at the screen during the montage. I actually I think blew my microphone I can't hear it anymore. You pulled your oh, is that what I did? Did you pull yourself out? No, I don't know what I did Ben's coming over. Oh, boy. Can you still hear me, though?

Yeah. Okay. So I'm going to keep doing this. Oh, I hit a button. He hit a button, folks. I hit a button, folks. All right. But yes, at this point...

They go to the desert. And a cover of Africa by Toto plays, which is Pitbull. Correct. It is a cover and africa by toto plays which is pitbull correct it is a it is a cover and it's by pitbull they charter a flight unexplained it with a pilot not not pitbull did that song i'm always a toto cover correct by pitbull now and some lady some lady's right now toto is having a moment uh africa by toto is having the best week ever it's become very meme-y it has and which is largely because weezer covered it. Yeah, I don't want

to get into this. So it's also weird because it's like Pitbull covering Africa because the cover. Which I assume was many months in advance. I don't fucking know. The music in this movie is demented. They're on a plane with a goat and they both jump out of the plane. They jump out of the plane. Because the desert is like the sea of the land.

And the Aquaman. Sand is like water. The Aquaman. Arthur is like. Sand is like water the aquaman arthur is like sand is dry water dummy hello uh we're supposed to be in the ocean not the sand hello this was an ocean once they set up that atlantis was a land city and they got too into the water tech yeah right i mean the classic myth of atlantis was it was a continent that fell i'm aware but but that this is the birth of the modern sea world that we now know right and also free will that their downfall right shamu their downfall please refer to him by his proper name uh their downfall is that uh they got too into hydro cannons yep but their tech ruined them that's

the thing it's like the tech ruined us. Our continent fell into the sea. Luckily, we kept the tech. Right. And learned to breathe underwater. So, you know, come sea, come sun. We lost a couple generations to drowning. And some of us turned into fish, and some of us turned into monsters.

Some of us just vanished, but whatever. So now it's like a series of you go to another country, and you find a clue and the clue sends you to the next clue the clue is like a hologram it is yeah and like the old king is like oh i'm fucking aquaman the first my fucking trident's over fucking there right so you gotta go over there uh they need water to activate yeah sure he could have been so she pulls it out of the sweat they're trying to get mira shit to do i mean it's the only complaint i have about the movie Amber Heard's kind of just not very interesting she's not a very charismatic performer

in my opinion I'm sorry to say it I will say this on the record she is not my number one favorite living actor yeah I'm trying to think if she's ever like I kind of liked her in Friday Night Lights,

which was her first movie. I forgot that was her. I never saw The Boys Love Mandy Lane. Which is the one that kind of made her, but then the movie never got released. But she started getting all the parts because of that. I forgot she was in Pineapple Express. See, I remember she's in that.

She's his girlfriend in that? Alpha Dog, yeah. Alpha Dog is the one with justin timberlake yeah she's been in a lot of crummy informers never back down she's in magic mike xxl which i actually think she's fine in uh oh i think that's the best i think that's the best she's ever been but uh you know largely oh and she's in her smell coming next year uh in a pretty small she's good is good in that I think she's good in that I do too no it's not a small role

it's a fairly big role it's sort of like the you're right third or fourth lead like I don't know you're right so she's it's not like she's

oh but in this she's fine they're trying to give her shit to do Mira's got some cool action scenes she's got cool water powers you're doing a face

no I just found some weird things on her IMDB go on sorry and yeah she's alright powers, you're doing a face. No, I just found some weird things on her IMDb. Go on. Sorry. And, yeah, she's alright. Yeah. But she's just like, I really,

I think, like, Wilson is having a lot of fun. He knows what movies are. Right. I think Kidman's having a lot of fun. Wilson's doing, like, a Max von Sydow as Ming the Merciless. Yes. Yes. Franklin Gellis Skeletor. Yeah. Right. And, you know, Lundgren is just sort of a blast to see him like. It's so nice to see him.

See him in fifth build. Yeah. What a big fall for him. Yeah. You mean like the season? Creed 2. Yeah. Right.

This fall is all about Lundgren rising. Hey. This fall, Lundgren rises. All right. So they get the message. Basically, they got to do this last mission to get the trident. Where they have to put a broken bottle in a statue's hand so it becomes a compass. Yeah.

And they get to meet all the nice Italian people and Mera considers humans for the first time. But who shows up? Yeah, the Sicily stuff is kind of cute. Parkour. She eats the rose. That's funny. She got excited because of the parkour. She eats the rose, though. That's funny. She turns wine intoour. She eats the rose. That's funny. Ben got excited because of the parkour. She eats the rose, though.

That's funny. She turns wine into daggers. That's cool. That's just cool. You realize, oh, it's not just water. She can also turn wine into daggers. Any liquid. Wine knives.

And Black Manta shows up and makes a big old mess with his laser eyes. Great scene. A lot of fun. Yeah. Crashing through walls. Yeah. At this point, I'm just like, you know, I'm just like you know I'm at stimuli overload I'm locked in

it's pretty you're right yes there's so much shit going on and intercut with their travels across the land of men you've had Orm going to these different kingdoms

and not being very nice he goes to see Jean Mon Hoon Soo who unquestionably spent more time in the makeup chair than he did in front of cameras. You don't think it's just CGI?

It looked kind of mocap-y. It is makeup. James Wan said it was makeup. Wow. Make-ap? He said it was make-ap. Oh, maybe it was an app. No, he said it was makeup.

James Wan said it was a practical design. Interesting. Okay. He's unrecognizable. He has three lines of dialogue. Yeah, he's like, I won't has three lines of dialogue yeah he's like i won't join your war and orm's like how about this trying to chest you're dead right and then like the air is like a little girl fish woman yeah and they kidnap her i don't know oh

another thing i just want to talk about the movement yes underwater is very funny yes like when they're being very dramatic and then they sort of just like float away. I really like that. I love that. Orm has one moment where he arrests Willem Dafoe where he's like, yes, take him away. And then he kind of just like backs, what do you call it?

Backstrokes. Rules. And then, oh, Arthur. Uh-huh. You know, they beat Black Manta, but Black Manta falls off a cliff so you know he'll be back, right? You're really entranced by whatever

you found in IMDb. Did you find the fucking Secret of Curly's gold in there? I did find the Secret of Curly's gold. No, I was trying to figure out who played the Aquaman, the Fisherman Princess. Sophia Forrest is her name. Yes. It's nobody in particular. Okay. We should say Randall park is on tv as steven shin who's like a character yes uh wants to catch

the aquaman arthur finally makes it to uh a whirlpool-y thing there's the trench kingdom there's all these monsters the sea monsters best image in the movie because they steal a boat Aquaman gets knocked out he wakes up on a boat and he's like did you steal this and she was like those boats were not for public taking they have what's almost a romantic scene

but this movie almost doesn't care if Wonder Woman had a truly genuine touching boat scene where they make a connection, this is Aquaman's version of that. Which is super perfunctory. But he realizes they're near the whirlpool, near the trench. He grabs a flare

and then dives in and they go to this insane wide shot of him diving down to the lowest depths of the ocean. It's very cool. With the flares in their hands. Right. It looks like a fucking ant farm or something. It rules. With all these trench creatures coming behind him and it's only lit by the red of the light.

Oscars. It's water but it's dark. It's scary. Yeah. And then they get sucked into a world. Because one of the trench creatures comes up on the boat and fights them. No, lots of them do. But then they go down. Then they go down because they know there's too many of them. They go to the whirlpool. They end up on a beach in the center of the earth,

obviously. Filled with dinosaurs. Yeah, filled with dinosaurs fucking obviously. As we know. As we all know, the center of the earth is a beach

in the middle of the fucking ocean with dinosaurs and Nicole Kidman and she's got a big old man hairdo. She's the wasp. She's been living in a makeshift suit of armor.

It's true. It's fair. Yeah. With a down there. Her armor is bones. Yeah, she's got a lobster claw I should have added that to my list bones are in this too

bones your tinder profile my interests are bones, sea crime huge beasts you should make your Raya profile just your Aquaman review all great Ben's on Raya now, by the way. Ben's become a FAMO.

He's a FAMO. It's true. I'm going to end up marrying an influencer. Listen to his Classroom Crush episode. I feel like there's a lot of Raya talk in that one. Nicole's there, obviously. We knew she wasn't dead. Yeah. And she's like, hey, what's up? Trident's through there. Well, let me have it. I love you.

Love you. You're great. Good guy. This creature, everyone's too scared Trident's through there. I mean, well, let me have it. I love you. Love you. You're great. Good guy. This creature, everyone's too scared to get the Trident. So maybe you're a pissy baby pants or maybe you're the brave one. And there's a pile of bones from the dead who've tried. Bad sign. But what can Arthur do

that no one else can do? Well, true. But no, he can talk to fishies true but no he can talk to fishies oh he can talk to fish in the movie we know aquaman can talk to fish and he does this thing where he sort of psychically communicates with them right oh because there's a scene where as a child he's at the aquarium and they replicate the finding nemo poster where all the creatures are flying around yeah it's pretty cool yeah but uh but they take this long to really fully reveal like yeah only he can do that yes that's not like classic atlantean power right and so he's this giant squid that's

the size of a fucking skyscraper it's played by academy award winner julie andrews we all know why even waste the breath saying you just said that very like matter of fact i figured ben had no opinion it's a fucking skyscrapersized sea creature that's ancient and talks. It does talk, but that's the thing where she's talking and she's like, I will crush your bones, ha ha ha. And then she's like, wait, you can understand me? This story came out that she did a voice role for Aquaman. And everyone was like, Julie Andrews isn't in Mary Poppins, but she is in Aquaman.

And when I heard that, I'm like, oh, she must play a fucking box jellyfish that's all colorful and sweet, right? That's what I thought. She's going to play Mrs. Potts. She's going to play the divine presence of the ocean. Yeah, right, exactly. She'll play Gaia or something. Right, instead they have her play a Bob Hoskins role. It's fucking Rose.

Gaia, where are you going, my ocean? I also think, just because people are complaining about the Mary Poppins thing, I think it is fully to her credit that she's about the Mary Poppins thing I think it is fully to her credit that she's not in Mary Poppins I agree

her reasoning is it would delegitimize Emily Blunt to be in the movie right and she wants to pay respect it would totally

fucking stick out like a sore thumb and she's like oh hello Mary right she's like I don't want to be there and be like I'm the real Mary Poppins

fuck you Emily Blunt and I think that she you know she can't really sing anymore cause she's done all this you know and like the role that have you seen

it I forget I have not seen it right the role that she one imagines would have played Angela Lansbury you know it does involve singing

yeah so maybe that was an obstacle as well because I mean Dick Van Dyke obviously shows up in the movie but that's all you need but he's playing a

character he was already established playing in the universe or the son of that character if she showed up in Mary Poppins Returned, it would be the same bummer

that happens every time they shoehorn in one of those Ghostbusters cameos in the F.I.G. movie. Which you and I both agree that is the biggest problem with that movie. It's a pretty good movie

except for that shit. Every time they do that shit, the movie grinds to a halt to have Ackroyd be like, and I ain't afraid of no ghost. Hey, Lady Ghostbusters, I give it

the Ackroyd acroid i mean cab driver seal of approval gotta go it's like the most distracting thing in the world that delegitimizes the their attempts to make a new thing wow i'm looking at my levels it's like an earthquake happened in this episode the screen looks like a series of wine daggers. Just sharp red lines. Oh, we're doing so great. This is a great episode. Okay, fine. You want this to be the one we submit to the Obies this year?

We can only pick one. This is it. This is our 2018 Obie submission. Just remember last year, one year ago, we're talking Last Jedi. It's like three hours in and both of us have knives to each other's screws. We warned everyone it's the worst thing we've ever done maybe we shouldn't even release right we forget to mention that like in the movie like luke skywalker appears you know what i mean like you know fast forward a year later we got sea crime i mean ben couldn't be

happier and that's what the holiday season's all about. Happy Hustle Days. Yeah, Happy Hustle Days. So he gets the fucking dagger. I mean, tried and it's cool. Yeah. Does like a sonar thing. Three! Keep it simple, stupid! Shows back up.

Here's my favorite part. Yeah, now he's in the full fucking classic. And there's that monologue or that exchange where she's like, Atlantis needs more than a king. We're gonna need a hero. hero he is super hero he shows back up to atlantis in the middle of fucking orm versus the crab people which james wants like excuse me there's already like a lord of the rings battle between orm and john reese davies as a crab they're shooting fucking lasers at each other. Yeah, exactly. They're running into each other.

And maybe you're thinking, because you haven't seen the movie, but are these regular-sized crabs? Very large. They're huge. We've heard two tossed-off mentions of a quote-unquote Brian Kingdom. And we basically cut to Patrick Wilson

wrestling with a crab. That's kind of like, I will never submit to you fucking arm, you know, like, cause let's make it clear. There are two things that are not introduced until two full hours into this movie.

One of them is the Brian King. Right. And the other one is Aquaman's costume. Correct. He puts it in on the two hour mark. Yep. And he rides in on Julie Andrews. Right.

Who let's like full credit. I was running this through my head as I was watching it. I was watching. That was a makeup. It was practical. That was practical. This is, I believe, the biggest creature I've ever seen anyone depict in a movie. Certainly that someone might ride.

No, but even beyond that. You think just beyond that? I was looking and it's a little hard to get perspective because they're in the sea so you only can go against the size of the people and the ships that she's swatting away. Yeah. But I was like, I think this is bigger than any depiction of Godzilla. Sure. I mean, the scale of the thing, there's a moment where you see all the like

stingray ships flying towards her and they literally look like gnats. It's true. And they have people inside of them. She's big. It's humongous. This is, I truly think,

the biggest living creature I've ever seen in a movie. What about Ego, the living planet? I guess we never see him at planet size. Thank you. He takes a human form

the whole time. I know. It's sort of disappointing when you think about it. At one point, he becomes like a crater. That was cool. I loved it.

I know. It's a good movie. It's a good movie. A plus. Oh, interesting. Ben's just written A plus on a piece of paper. Ben is. Now I just need to mail this off to He has a pre-addressed envelope to the Warner Brothers.

And the Warner sister at Dodds. The Water Tower. This episode's so good uh yeah you got your final orm versus arthur trident fight in which arthur shows mercy orm by the way has that awesome the ocean master costume which is that like red and silver helmet here's a crazy thing a level of silliness i have not seen any superhero movie committing to. The metal moves? Yes. Yes, we agree!

Because like in superhero comics, like Batman, his face is articulated subtly. Like if they want Batman to look concerned or scared, the shape of the mask will move so that his eyebrows

can express and whatever. The closest they've come to Spider-Man Homecoming gives him mechanical eyes, but it's not the same thing, which is cool. This one literally puts the mask on, and the mask is now animated, and it has the full expressiveness of Patrick Wilson's face.

Correct. When that happened, I said that it was good. Yes. Threw another Oscar. Yeah, of course. But you know, it's like how when God created the Earth, it's like after day five. He's like, then he made all the fucking beasts and saw that it was good.

When I saw that, I saw that it was good. Yeah. Yeah. And he doesn't kill him and Orm's like, it's our way, you must kill me. Right,

it's a fight that's so humongous that it doesn't, it's hard to even like process what's happening. Sure, they're like zooming all over the place. Five billion creatures. But it's very short.

It's very short. It's pretty quick. I feel like final fights normally, you're like, God, can we just end it? I got really worried when he showed up that we were going to get like 45 minutes of that quick. I feel like final fights normally, you're like, God, can we just end it? I got really worried when he showed up that we were going to get like 45 minutes of that shit.

Once he got the trident, it's kind of like game, set, and match. That's sort of the idea. Right. And I love the idea that they're just like, no, he's the most powerful. He just stops everyone. And so now- He's got Julie and Crack and Drews, and he's got the trident, and now it's just like five minutes of him owning.

Yeah. Then he pulls Worm up onto a boat. Yeah. And then he beats him and he's like, I'm not killing you. Yeah.

Because that's, you know, we need a new world order here. Right. He's maybe realized the whole way Atlantis works seems very kind of fucked. Fucked.

Yeah. Yeah. It's very ancient Rome. A lot of betrayal. Right. And then the movie ends with Tamora Morrison walking to the pier and

Nicole Kidman comes back. Yeah, it's great. I burst into tears. Make-credits scene, you got Steven Shin rescues Black Manta. Right. No end-credits scene. I was really hoping they were going to set up Etrigan the Demon or Detective Chimp or just like... Because at this point, you're like, nothing's off the table.

They've gone full DC. And this is my big thought, okay? Much more of a Marvel guy than a DC guy. Yes. But I do like that it feels like maybe DC is starting to embrace what they should be doing, which is A, DC Comics is far more about the universe than it is about the characters. And be more high fantasy. That's the other thing.

But that's what I mean by saying it's more about the universe. Yes. Because DC isn't like the structures of these societies and the rules and the backstory. And it's not that the characters don't have characterization. But Marvel, the whole thing was like, Stanley was like, they're humans first. And DC, it's like, so first of all, you need to know that his great grandfather grew up on the planet Blarfnagar. Like, that's how DC Comics works.

Well, no. The other thing that DC will do is they'll be like, that's right. You asked for it. We're going to reorder the universe into a new system right that's very complicated in a different way and their multiverse is so crazy and all that sort of shit that i'm just like make the movies like fucking high dork fantasy you know just like own into it and you know where that plays? Sea operas. Overseas. Yes. Over the seven seas.

And that's the thing. This movie, I think they were just like let's embrace all of it and if it doesn't work domestically we're going to make such bank overseas where this movie will translate because it's largely visual

and exposition. Right. Things that don't get lost in translation. It's not emotional performances or comedy or anything like that. Yes. It has made

I think how much? Like $200 million in China already? I think it's maybe up to $220 million. I'm going to check, which is crazy. It's been out there for like 10 days and it's made over $200 million in China. This is a movie designed for China. Yes.

It has made $266 million worldwide so far. It'll do good in Atlantis. It's going to do great in Atlantis. They don't have Netflix there. Which is ironic because there is a lot of streaming. Oh, boy. Give me a dollar. All right, take a dollar.

Thank you. It's projected to open around $100 million for the five-day Christmas weekend. I do think actually this movie will kind of work. I think it will make around the same money that Justice League did, but with a far better perception, a far smaller budget, and it'll perform infinitely better overseas. Right.

Yeah, I think that's true. So I think it'll do well. Right. Justice League ended at two? Let me look it up. Like right on the nugget? Justice League made $229 million domestic. $657 million worldwide.

So bad. Yeah. Like that's $424 million. I think Aquaman's going to do like Venom numbers. Yes. I think Aquaman will make about $200 million domestic. Like $190 to $210 million. But it'll close to a billion worldwide. Yeah, it'll make between $8 and $950. Because, all right, so here's what we got this weekend.

Aquaman. Bumblebee. Yes. Which I don't think is going to do that well. No, although I've heard it's very charming. Everyone says it's good, but I do feel like there's not really like a lot of excitement. It just feels like there's such a sharp divide. Buzz. Okay, well, I's such a sharp divide. Buzz.

Okay. Well, I'm taking a dollar back from you. Demanding a recount. No, I feel like you do not like the film, but Mary Poppins has been a charming audience. That's the hot one. Right. Well, because that's, as you said. And Aquaman works as the counter-programming, but if you're going to see a family movie,

it's going to be Mary Poppins. It's not going to be Bumblebee. And Bumblebee's kind of caught in a weird mid-zone between Aquaman and Mary Poppins. And there's also a second act which I guess will make like $14 million or whatever. Yeah, a movie I didn't audition for.

You did? Did not. Okay, right. It has a weird twist. Have you seen it? No, I made Richard tell me the twist. Weird. It's crazy. And then, of course, Welcome to Marwen, which I think is tracking at 400 million opening weekend. Right?

2.4 billion? No, 400's the preview night projection. That's just IMAX 3D previews. Marwen Media! I'm so amped. Oh, boy. Welcome to Marwen. Welcome to low ticket sales.

I hope they do welcome me. Because the thing about Welcome to Marwyn is it only costs $40 million. It looks expensive, but it wasn't that expensive. They swapped that. It was supposed to come out like a month ago, and they swapped the release dates with Green Book because they got so bullish on Green Book that they were like, we're not saving this for Christmas.

Green Book, which is underperforming probably would do better probably would have done better if they kept the original Marwan's not gonna do great anyway no it's not anyway

so that's our box office predictions because we can't play a game right but did we say what Poppins Poppins

opening yeah it's opening two days earlier it opens on Wednesday the 19th the 19th so Poppins is probably gonna make a fortune yeah It's opening two days earlier. It opens on Wednesday. The 19th.

The 19th. So Poppins is probably going to make a fortune. Yeah. Like 135, 140. I don't know. Poppins is going to make like well over $300 million. Oh, total yes. I mean, I meant opening week.

Yeah. The other thing that no one's talking about is that the Grinch is going to make over $300 million. Which I feel like no one's talking about. Well, lots of people are. It's open big and it's not dropping at all. Mule opened great. It's going to do so well over Christmas. 17 opening for Mule.

Right, which Clint is a grower, not a shower. His movies multiply. You see in this movie. In Spider-Verse is kicking around and that has gotten an A-plus cinema score, so that's going to do well. That's the critics, darling, weirdly, of all these films.

It is. And then Mortal Engines, 7.5.5 yeah but these cities got wheels baby what if mortal engines pulled a greatest showman it'd have to because that's a great showman that's it's a great showman open to like seven yeah yeah and then it next week i did 15 look i feel I mean... I feel bad for Mortal Engines. I do too, I do too. Seems like they were proven to be very mortal, those engines. It's true. So I got a little

weird merchandise spotlight here. Sure. Because I just knew there was like a lot of stuff produced for this film and I was like, you know,

I talk about the toys and all that shit. You know, on Reddit people have been cataloging all the video game tie-ins which we never

really cover. But they've mentioned that video games have kind of died, video game tie-ins, and now you really cover. But they've mentioned that video games have kind of died, video game tie-ins, and now you pretty much get an app. You know, there'll be an app game, they'll do a reskin of a Jungle Run or whatever, fucking Temple Run or whatever. But I was like, what are the other categories

in which they're producing tie-in Aquaman stuff? So I went to the whole line of Aquaman books. I feel like this is a thing we haven't talked about much, where it's like, you got a big blockbuster, you release a lot of books. Here's the Aquaman Choose Your Own Adventure. Here's the Junior Novelization. Here's the Picture Book version, right? Sure. I found two that I find

pretty interesting. Okay. That I was going to buy at Barnes & Noble and bring in today to gift the two of you for Christmas, and I forgot. Let it be a wet book. One of them is called Before He Was Aquaman, Undertow, an original novel. Ben, here's the cover.

Got some squid. Splashing waves and a squid. Good title. Now, this is the YA fiction version of Aquaman. I understand. It's the tortured, emotional, I don't know where I belong Aquaman teen novel. The Aquaman Twilight, if you will. That's cool.

You know? The other one, which is the- He smokes like a water bong. Yeah, yeah, definitely. He hangs out on a porch. This is the one I was going to buy for David. It's called Aquaman, Arthur's Guide to Atlantis. Oh, I like this.

And this book purports to be Arthur's diary as a child while he was training with Willem Dafoe. to be Arthur's diary as a child while he was training with Willem Dafoe. So it's written in the voice of a surly child Jason Momoa. With entries from 13-year-old Aquaman, a.k.a. Arthur Curry, this guy provides everything you need to know about the Hidden Kingdom. Right.

From the city's amphibious population, we'll look into the weapons and the armed revolt. 144-page entertaining notes, journal entries, exclusive never-seen four of our photos. So it's essentially just world building mythology and the voice of a surly teenager. Cool. That's my merchandise bottle.

I don't know what to tell you folks. What can I tell you? My Michael B. Jordan production is proving to be foolish. Seems like he will not get nominated. Yeah. That's them fucking up if they do that. But then Sam Elliott also missed a couple noms. But he got his sack done.

I know. He's in. He's in. But I don't think he's going to win anymore. No, I think your winner is Richard Grant, which will be nice. He's a lovely man. And that dude knows how to campaign. I mean, that's a dude who wins at a cocktail party.

And much like Sam Elliott, who was my prediction earlier. Fetching guy never got credit. Well, and also everyone's worked with him. Yeah. You know, it's like the Rockwell win last year. It's like, oh, I know Richard. He's great. And here's another thing.

It's a wonderful fucking performance. It is. Very lovely performance. Very good performance. Really, like, because like he's such, like his life is so miserable. Yes. And those early scenes where he's kind of keeping that on the down low. It's really good.

And you sort of then he just like lets the facade slip. Great. And, you know, you got a year where it's like Sam Elliott only has a couple key scenes in Star is Born it's not a huge part Adam Driver who now looks locked to get a supporting actor nom I would argue is a lead of that movie

he's essentially a co-lead I'd argue they're co-leads but I'll allow it it's one of those things where I'm like look it's John David Washington's movie he's the one with the truly emotional arc and he has all the scenes with Laura. I'm not griping about it either. I'm just saying,

you know, like, so it's like a little more his movie, but there's certainly plenty of drive. I'm not griping about it either. I'm just saying I do like that. Richard E. Grant is like,

that is a pure, it's a supporting performance. Although he is the second lead, very meaty supporting, but it is supporting her real co-star in the movie is the second lead. Very meaty supporting, but it is supporting. Because her real co-star in the movie is loneliness.

Yes. But no, you know, because Driver's kind of like John David Washington's tool in that movie, you know, so in that way,

he's supporting her. No, I get it. I get it. I just hope Rockwell, who's good in Vice, does not get a nomination, but I would rather get Orm to get him.

Well, that's the dream. Right. But I mean, he has committed a lot of sea crime he has I mean they're giving me some PR problems I don't know if even Peggy Siegel could spin that one you know you've got fucking like Mira Sorvino and she's like best supporting actor and Orm

and then she's like oh there's a note here to be clear the character from Aquaman not Patrick Wilson Orm alright but I'm worried that if Rockwell misses Chalamet will Character from Aquaman, not Patrick Wilson. Orm. All right. But I'm worried that if Rockwell misses, Chalamet will get in, and that performance is bad. Well, this is your mountain you want to die on.

I also feel like he's definitely getting in. He's gotten every precursor. I know. But no one cares about the movie, I guess. You know what I mean? I don't think he's the one on the chopping block. I think if Rockwell gets in, he maybe pushes out Elliot. Nah. That's what the Globes did, I guess. You know what I mean? But I don't think he's the one on the chopping block. I think if Rockwell gets in, he maybe pushes out Elliot. Nah. That's what the Globes did, my friend. Yeah, but Globes are

dope. Yeah, they are. To be clear. And by the way, we would love to win a Golden Globe this year. Yes, please. Best original score. Best supporting orm. Yeah, best orm. So, do you want to talk verse still? Oh! We've done two hours. We've done two hours? Yeah, yeah I mean let's just throw a little

spider verse in here cause people want to talk about it I got a haircut at six what time is it now 545 you want to get out of here we gotta do the ads I'm five minutes away okay so you know what here oh god we're gonna get

in a spider verse on our Seamus Q&A episode sure oh yeah this now sounds like extortion but we didn't promise it we're gonna get into Spider-Verse on our Seamus Q&A episode sure oh yeah this now sounds like extortion but we didn't promise it at the beginning of the episode I kinda wanna see it

again anyway I do too and Ben has to see it oh yeah so we'll talk verse if you subscribe to our patreon dot com

slash blank check get those numbers baby yes sorry David's the only monster thank you all for listening. Please remember to rate, review, subscribe.

Thanks to Ant for good work for our social media. Joe Bowen, Pat Reynolds for our artwork, Lane Montgomery for our theme song. Go to blinkers.red.com for some real nerdy shit. Sure.

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Happy holidays. Happy holidays. Happy Hoslidays. We're excited about 2019. We're going to try to blow it up. So I'm really freaked out about that. But yeah, you know, we cannot thank you enough for your support. And we're going to try to give you more cool stuff in this coming year.

Right. Or we're just going to overshoot. Right. So, great. Thank you all for listening. And, of course, and as always, Orm. Orm.