Blank Check with Griffin & David - Avatarland/The Second Blank Check Mailbag

Episode Date: December 10, 2017

#thetwofriends once again answer listener submitted questions! Plus, Griffin discusses his recent trip to Pandora – The World of Avatar at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida. But how would Griffin and David fix Men in Black II? Does Avatar work better as a theme park or movie? Will beloved actor Dan Lewis really quit acting, and if so, what will he do instead? Together the hosts discuss how they would rank The Muppets movies, potential future Blank Check live shows, poutine and a garbage plate of other topics. Also, the debut of the Burger Report™ hotline 802-8-BURGER. This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon.

AY podcast you oh my god AY podcast you! Oh my god. AY podcast you! Zero listeners. AY podcast you! Yeah. Dun-dun-dun!

I forgot we were going to talk about it. Dun-dun-dun! David, we have to go back. Dude, you just went. We have to go back to Avatar back. You just went. We have to go back to Avatar land. You're right. Hello, everybody. My name is Griffin Newman.

I'm David Sims. This is a podcast usually about filmography. Directors who have massive success early on are given a series of blank checks to make whatever crazy pass from projects they want. Sometimes those checks clear and sometimes AWOL bounces them, baby. AWOL has bounced you. Yes. AWOL bounces you! Today we're doing something kind of different.

By something kind of different we mean we're doing like our stupidest episode ever, you mean. And we're combining like four different things into one episode. This is just a grab bag episode.

This is the garbage plate. This is our buffet episode. Yeah, garbage plate. This is our golden corral episode corral episode sure okay this could be a fun episode fans are gonna love it we're gonna win another ob this episode pod mass here we come we can't yep pod mess here we come long long promise long hinted at long demanded i took a trip to avatar land aka the world of pandora or pandora colon the world of avatar that's what it's called it's not called avatar land it's not but i'm sort of on like a friend basis with it so i call it avatar land right but it's called pandora colon the world of avatar at animal kingdom walt disney world resort orlando florida

wait what animal kingdom it's part of the animal kingdom what's the animal kingdom i don't know Qatar at Animal Kingdom Walt Disney World Resort, Orlando, Florida. Wait, what? Animal Kingdom? It's part of the Animal Kingdom. What's the Animal Kingdom? I don't know anything about Disney parks. Have you ever been? No. Have you ever been?

I was too young. I don't remember it. Okay. I'll give you a quick rundown. Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando, Florida is comprised of four different theme parks. You got Epcot. I know that. Right.

And that's sort of the techie one the the unite the the continents one hashtag unite the continents seven no but but that's sort of the the worldly travels uh combined with the let's take a glimpse into our future sure it was always the park that had the uh least ip related attractions right right but now that's changing so they had like a a nordic ride that they've now transformed into a Frozen ride. Of course. They're apparently going to be putting a lot more Marvel stuff in there. I think it's sort of going to become their more

adult theme park combined with their animated films that are set in foreign countries. We'll probably have a Coco ride within the next two years. I would bet on it. Okay. Because the three Caliberos, Caliberos. Caballeros. Okay, fifth time's the charm. That ride is not doing incredibly well these days. It's a little out of date.

Yeah. And Coco rules. Have you seen Coco? I might see it right after this podcast if we get done in time. I fucking love it. I got the hottest takes on it. I recorded an episode of Masterpiece Theater last night. Josh Beagle, Scott Renshaw.

Don't want to brag. I've now joined the Five Timers Club. Humble brag. Five Timers Club. Humble brag. Five Timers Club, Masterpiece Theater, but I got all my hot takes of Coco out in that episode. Great movie. Great American film. A little hungover, guys.

That's Epcot, okay? Magic Kingdom, that's the classic one, okay? So that's like where the castle is. That's got the castle. It's got Adventureland. It's got Frontierland. It's got Tomorrowland. It's got Adventureland. It's got Frontierland. It's got Tomorrowland. It's got Fantasyland.

It's like the Walt Disney, his original idea of Disneyland. And it's just the Florida version. And the Epcot was the only other one he had an active hand in. I think it opened after he died, but he was very instrumental. Where's the Hall of Presidents in all this? That is in the Magic Kingdom. Most of the iconic rides are at the Magic Kingdom. So that includes, includes obviously Space Mountain,

Splash Mountain, all the sort of story dark rides where you go through the plot of an animated Disney classic. Pirates. You got your fucking

Country Bears, Jamboree, Haunted Mansion, maybe the greatest ride of all time. Is it? So I thought. Oh Jesus.

But maybe a new ride has taken that spot. So you've mentioned Epcot and the Magic Kingdom. What else we got? There was what was originally called MGM Hollywood Studios, but then the license ended,

so now it's just called Disney Hollywood Studios. Interesting. That had the great movie ride. That was sort of... Star Tours is there. And this is all owned by Disney? Correct.

But they would have other shit that was non-Disney within their worlds? The idea was that that park is less about Disney films and more about the magic of movies! And they have like a replica of man's Chinese theater.

The Great Movie Ride used to take you through the history of the movies and now being replaced by a Mickey Mouse thing. That's where they're going to build Star Wars land. So the MGM park is mostly going to become a Star Wars park. Fine. But then you also got Muppet Vision 3D, one of the greatest films ever made. You have Toy Story Midway Mania, which they're now expanding into Toy Story

Land. That is actually the official name. The other ones I'm adding land onto, but Toy Story Land is going to be like four or five rides now, which I'm jazzed about. I just don't understand any of this. I don't either. I'm listening to all of this and I'm like, why would anyone I'm describing it all very well.

I'm describing it all very well. I'm describing it all very well I'm describing it all so well and I had a great time like I remember when I was a kid I liked theme parks okay because they were like these fun places when you were a kid like growing up and solely in the United States of America no actually I grew up in England which has a lot of theme parks you know England's really into

theme parks I know that Banksy's I don't even know what that means dismal land uh yeah right yeah all right what if banksy a theme park let's get let's get a demi back on so he can talk about his room banksy no they have like fort park and like alton towers and like orland and uh chessington world of adventures they're just like non-branded theme parks and because they're all kind of popular they all like are always trying to outdo themselves so they always have these insane new

rides but a lot of those non-branded theme parks also have like one or two movie rides like for sure but it's like i always find that really interesting when you like i'll go on wikipedia pages and it'd be like oh this like theme park in bombay that doesn't have specific branding also has a ghostbusters ride? Hey, man. You know? Like shit like that. It's kind of nice.

It's sort of the old days before everything was siloed and umbrellaed and conglomerated. Anyway, so we've said three of the four. We're not even fucking done. Is the fourth Universal Studios? No, Universal's its own fucking thing. Get the fuck out of here.

It's also in Orlando, right? Correct. Universal has two theme parks One is Universal Studios proper And the other one is Islands of Adventure Which is technically comprised of five smaller theme parks By the way I want to point something out Can I point something out here?

Why don't you point anything out? Wait wait wait Because we forgot about this This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon Oh this episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon Anyway back to these four That's very important We'll talk about that more later

But I just wanted to get that on the record Look the bummer boys gotta make our cheddar Okay What was the fourth one? of these four. That's very important. We'll talk about that more later, but I just wanted to get that on the record. Look, the Bummer Boys gotta make our cheddar. Okay, what was the fourth one? The fourth one is Animal Kingdom. And that was the one that's the most recent one. It's like trying to make the most immersive sort of animal

wildlife retreat. Okay. And they pride themselves on it's sort of the most humane of all wildlife retreats in the united states if not the world okay they bought a massive amount of space and they replicated so it's like you go on a safari but it's not quite as uh right problematic right so that's like the cornerstone of the park is like the long safari but that's always been the lagging park there's this great safari where you get to see animals but they don't have that many other

exciting rides you know know? Yeah. They have a ride based on Dinosaur. Sure. The Disney animated classic. The DB Sweeney vehicle. Dinosaur. Sure. But they don't have a lot.

So it was this big strategic move to go, let's get Avatar. Here's a brand that's all about nature, is about the ecosystem, the wildlife. Oh, I see. So is Avatar part of the animal kingdom? Correct. Oh, okay. And right now it's a small section. I would not be surprised if it grows even more,

especially if the sequels are well-received and becomes maybe like 50% of the park. So here's just a little backstory for everyone who's, this is their first episode listening, which I'm sure is most of the audience, right? Yeah, a good entry point. No, what was I going to say? So we reviewed Jamesames cameron's films

a while ago and we made a promise when we covered a miniseries of a director if they had a new film come out we would go back and do a new episode as we'll do very shortly with the post stevie spielberg's the post we got an episode we're gonna do on that yeah that'll drop in a few weeks yeah and this is kind of weird because it's it's a theme park right it's one of the things where you might say actually we don't need to cover it. Well, agree to disagree there. We also covered Taruk, the first flight. We did, which we didn't need to cover that either, but we covered it.

But it kind of set a precedent. Hey, that was good. That was a good show. It was a good show that we did. No, David. David. What? The show that we did about the show was good.

Bone dancing. Yeah. Rope dancing. Ben was wrapped. I was so in it. And David, remember? the show that we did about the show was good bow dancing yeah rope dancing I was so in it and David remember how funny that show was yeah it was funny it had a wicked humor

we're supposed to do like a lot of different things on this episode to think who we were originally going to have on this episode this bullshit we originally had a very big guest lined up for this episode, which is crazy. Which is like, now that I think about it, I'm like, what the fuck were we thinking? We were talking with a very big guest who I think will be on the podcast at some point. It'd be lovely to have him.

Or her. Ooh. Or them. Yeah. Except it's a him. I mean, in this case, it's a him. I gave it away. I appreciate you.

I gave it away. But it has gone out of town out of country for a long period of time it's fine it's whatever we originally thought we were going to be able

to do a whole episode on Avatar Land because we were going to have him on we sent him the list of all the movies we were covering in the future

and he said I've been to Avatar Land that's what I want to talk about and then when he bowed out we were like let's just fucking

do an episode anyway and then just answer a bunch of user questions yeah and here's another thing that we're going to do right now okay we're gonna like garbage plate this is the garbage plate episode bigelows so what goes on a garbage plate we've got a bigelow ranking onion rings a trip to avatar land mac and cheese so the classic elements of a red hot garbage plate are home fries okay macaroni salad,

baked beans, and then like, you know, your meat. So this is the baked beans because you guys have been you baked up your list. Didn't do it on Detroit because we ran long. Forgot to do it on Justice League. We're doing it now. The list is baked. Are you ready? Here's my Catherine Bigalist.

Yes, so just again, we covered the films of Catherine Bigelow last and we forgot to rank them. Yes. Because our final episode was Detroit and it was with Black Men Can Jump in Hollywood and it was a whole. Spectacular. Yeah. We're busy talking with them.

And so anyway, so now we're doing it. Okay. Ready? Are we going to do ascending or descending? I always just do descending. I think it's sort of silly to start at 10. Okay. So ready? Yeah. I'm starting out. Get ready. You do yours and I always just do descending. I think it's sort of silly to start at 10. Okay, so ready?

Yeah. I'm starting out. Get ready. You do yours and then I'll do mine. Okay. Right, rather than alternate. Right.

Number one film on my Catherine Bigelist, Blue Steel. That's crazy. You did love it. I loved it. And I'll say this. It's the film to me

that feels most individualistic to her. it is the film that feels most unique to her that no other filmmaker alive could be that's great keep going number two the hurt locker okay number three point break sure number four zero dark 30 uh-huh number five strange dust strangely so we have the same top five in a totally different order. Okay. Number six, Near Dark.

Yep. Number seven, The Loveless. Uh-huh. Number eight, Detroit. Mm-hmm. Number nine,

The Weight of Water. Wow. We almost had the same bottom five, but, uh, Number 10, K-19, Wow, that's rude to K-19.

Wow. I could not be bothered to care about that film. I know you were very bored by it, yeah. Yeah. All right, so my ranking is, number one, Strange Days. There it is. The days, they're strange.

He's taking off his sweater, people. No, keep talking. Number two, Point Break. Oh, God, I just... Number three, The Hurt Locker. Number four, Point Break. Oh, God. I just... Number three, The Hurt Locker. Number four, Blue Steel. Which, like, I thought four was high. This is the fucking dumbest shit in the world.

Why are you interrupting yourself? Number five, Zero Dark Thirty. Number six, Near Dark. Number seven, The Loveless. Number eight, Detroit. Number nine, K-19. Number ten, The Way to Water. Number eight, Detroit. Number nine, K-19. Number 10, The Way to Water. So we have basically the same back end.

But the top end, we are all flipped around. Anyway. Boy. Like, I just, I wish, I wish I could tell you guys what's happening right now. Tell them what's happening. I mean, we'll tweet it out. We'll tweet out the pic. But describe what's happening. So Griffin took his sweater off,

revealing a sort of sparkly teal shirt underneath that sort of mimics, oh my God, the skin of a Na'vi. Then he attached a belt that I think has the tail. I didn't really see it. Yes. He made some kind of a spear, which I don't really remember them having spears. Sometimes. Okay. Then he put on what i can only describe as monkey ears but i guess they're

supposed to be not be yours he just put on a a necklace this is beginning to oh it glows feels like cultural appropriation so i'm gonna say griffin spent probably 200 or 300 dollars they don't they don't not mark these things up in the theme park. He just attaches braid for sex and or networking purposes. Does the spear light up? Oh, he's got blue socks.

Oh, shit. Are you wearing a whole stocking underneath or just socks? Just socks. Okay. So you're not going to take your pants off. They didn't have bathing suits. Not this week. Not this week. Yet. They didn't have bottoms. I desperately looked for bottoms.

I did buy, they had flip flops that lit up like LA lights. There's a lot of light up stuff in the theme park. Right. But I thought I could save five dollars by buying the largest child size instead of the smallest adult size. Right. And in the process gave my feet horrible blisters.

So I'm never wearing those ever again. I wasn't asking you to, to be honest. I'm telling you right now. Now you ask how much money I spent on this and I respond to you, tax write-off, baby. I did this for work. Oh my God.

That's what this is? Hells yeah, baby. Writing off my whole trip. Have pity on your accountant. No, honestly, you're so noble. Writing off my whole trip, Have pity on your accountant. Honestly, you're so noble. Writing off my whole trip, baby. Truly a noble thing to do. Wow.

I didn't want to do it. I had to. Demands of a career. Uh-huh. So. No, David, please. What? Please what?

What do you want me to do? No, please. Please, David, please. So, you look like a fucking idiot. Wait, you don't think this is a thing to commit to on an audio medium? This is reminding me of like our bad Star Wars. You don't think it's funny to spend hundreds of dollars on an audio? All right, so first question.

How much did you spend? Just rough. Ballpark. Yeah. We'll bleep it out. A couple hundred bucks? I think I came in at about for this or for the everything you bought there for everything i bought there which includes

some gifts that i might distribute in a minute wow all right well that's pretty good and i'll say your items are pricey and here's the other thing i'm a pricey guy i got i got both you some high-end items splurged folks i got some high-end items that were both tax write-offs. Right. But here's the thing I got to say, okay? One, I went to Disney World with three other people. Okay. Scott Kraterman.

Sure. His fiance, my friend, Elisa Malagari. Okay. My best friend, Sophie Fader. Yep. Invoked many times on this podcast. The four of us went to Avatar World together. To Disney World together, okay? Scott is a Disney Parks fanatic.

He comes from a Disney timeshare family. One of those, yeah. Strategically, I know what time to be at what ride. This and that. So he's got a discount because he's part of the Disney Vacation Club. Good for him. Okay? So when I went to buy my merchandise, he came up and used his card

and said, this is my cousin, can he get the discount? So they were ringing up, said, yes, that's fine. How much is the discount? 20%? Yeah, 15, 20%, something like that. Okay. They were ringing it up, and then it went through. I signed my receipt, and then we realized,

oh, wait, he forgot to apply the discount because the number seemed a little high. Oh. So because of that that he took like 50 all right so the first day i spent like 150 right how many days did you spend at this place uh at disney world in in totality or at avatar land oh okay we went to avatar land three times it was a five-day trip did you have like a hotel is it like like a Disney hotel? We stayed at the All Star Music Resort, which is the budget friendly Disney hotel. But it's not like Florida Project budget friendly.

It's close. Okay. It's close. It's obviously more well maintained. Sure. But that's the aesthetic. Okay. It's that kind of hotel.

So Mooney was there like throwing ice cream at you or whatever. All our good friends. We'll talk about that movie later. Yes, we will. Great movie. Great movie. Willem Dafoe, more like Willem, the friend of good cinema. Let's say it every week.

But it was that kind of thing, and it's got this really tacky music theming, so there are big sculptural banjos and fucking saxophones and shit. Stay there, okay? Sure. So it was like, maybe my entire purchase was like $150, and then he Stay there, okay? Sure. So it was like, maybe my entire purchase was like $150 and then he was like,

I'm sorry, he took like $50 off of it. Okay. So then the next day I was like, you know what, I should go back and spend another $50 because I essentially

got that $50 for free. So then I got the missing pieces, most expensive of which was the flip flops which I'm never going to wear again. Wow. Great story. These socks glow in the dark,

I mean, this is really like what you, what you want in a podcast. Dun-dun-dun! Is someone describing his shopping experience at Avatar Land. And you describing what I look like. Describe my body language right now. Describe my position. I mean, you kind of look like what I imagine Matthew McConaughey looks like

when he's at home, you know? You look very relaxed. You're wearing a lot of beads. My feet are up. Your feet are up on the desk. You've got this staff sort of perched on your shoulder. So you sort of like, you look like a hobo. You know, you're holding it like a hobo style, like a bindle.

And let me ask you, David, is my staff a glow? It's a glow. And you're also,'re also wearing your ears, which are attached to this band. Yeah. So you have this kind of like mid-2000s soccer player kind of look. Are they getting squashed? Well, your ears are sort of poking out above your headphones.

I was going to say it's kind of like a Coachella kind of look. Coachella is a good call. Yeah, that's another good call. Either Coachella or like a Portuguese sort of soccer braid too. Yeah, that's another good call. Either Coachella or like a Portuguese sort of soccer star from like 2005. You know what I mean?

Like early, mid-2000s World Cup look. Okay. Where you've got the braid and the sort of the headband. Yeah. First note of constructive criticism. Yeah.

Hey, Avatar Land, make me some bottoms. Make me some pants. So you want a stocking. Coupled with my hoodie. No, they could just be give me some sweatpants. Give me some bathing shorts. me some pants. So you want a stocking. Coupled with my hoodie. No, they could just be, give me some sweatpants, give me some bathing shorts. You know what I'm saying? They should have made it a onesie.

Okay. They didn't have any onesies. They had like baby onesies. We should say when we saw Tarouk, the first flight, those motherfuckers are in body stocking. Correct. Which is covering their whole body. Their hands, everything everything so they look like

navi and then they have like blue makeup on their face now this is a really good entry point to start talking about my experience at avatar land okay great because this is the first thing that i was surprised by but ultimately impressed by okay it's the what ben were you gonna say are you gonna apply blue paint the whole time you're doing this yes I mean it depends on how long it takes me to cover just don't get it on the equipment yeah that's fine they did have a lot of face painting stations

at Avatar Land and a lot of drums people were playing drums okay I'm reading an article right now what's up you're reading an article tell me about avatar land okay so we wake up 7 a.m first morning because scott knows avatar lands the new attraction we got to get there early right okay so it's working

it's working like avatar land is a hit it's a big hit okay but it's also like time will really tell because right now disney parks have like such a fandom around them that any new attraction is going to attract a lot of people right but so right will it stick right because like harry potter land is still enormous of course people are universal it's it's been huge you know what else is still popular what harry potter correct. You know what else is still popular? What? Harry Potter. Correct. You know what else doesn't seem that popular right now? The TAR. Avatar.

The TAR. The Navi. For example, when we saw Turok the first flight, you know how many seats were filled at the Barclays Center? Maybe 15%. That seems little. I mean, I was going to say 25. Yeah. Maybe 30.

And for those who have not heard our Tarouk episode, we also bought nosebleeds, and they upgraded us to fourth row because the stadium was so empty. That is true. We ended up getting tickets that were like four times the value. Yes, and we ended up getting aggressively shushed

by somebody who filmed the entire thing on their phone. Na-na-na! Na-na-na-na! Na-na-na! So, I think Disney, for so long long had such a lead over Universal. And Universal has been playing some serious catch-up with Harry Potter. And also, I don't know if you know this, recently bought the rights to do a Nintendo Land. I heard about that.

Which is going to be humongous. Sure. They've got these two big non-Disney properties that they've roped in. So, Disney's now getting a little, you know. Itsy. Right. And so, they know now getting a little, you know. Itsy. Right. And so they know they got Star Wars, they know they got Marvel,

they're injecting both of those in the park in a bigger way, but Avatar was the first big push for a new property, right? And it is this weird thing where you go, well, you know, I know it's such a meme now

that like, it's the biggest movie of all time, no one even remembers anything about it. Right. And then people making the jokes about it. If you didn't remember it, then why would you keep on talking about no one remembers anything about it? Sure. And then people making the jokes about it. If you didn't remember it, then why would you keep on talking about it? No one remembers anything about it.

And the jokes about the jokes and the jokes and the jokes. It's such a great time we all have online. It's a great time. The internet's great. Burn it down. But you do go there and you go like, is this really going to feel relevant? But the thing I found walking in immediately was, oh wow. Avatar works better as a theme park

than as a movie. And I like Avatar as a movie,-huh and i like avatar as a movie as you know i think sometimes people think that we are the two biggest avatar fans in the world right because we're the only people not shitting on avatar and film twitter right right right yeah we both just think it's really fucking solid and has some exemplary direction right yeah uh but great action right but for people who love like mythologies it's not like it's not like i give one shit about the navi whatever who cares and i even talked about in our avatar episode for how much that movie works for me i don't find the design of pandora that inspiring it's fine it's fine it's fine but those people who are like oh man i gotta go 20 times to the theater because i want to live in pandora right i never got that

and if any complaint i have about avatar stands head and shoulders above the rest it's i wish he even could have gone a little further out there sure i wish the the navi looked even less humanoid okay avatar land i step into this park and i go jesus christ this is perfect uh-huh because the level of stylization for the movie is kind of stunning when you're walking around it in real life okay and they've replicated it really really well so you walk in the animal kingdom and everyone to take you seriously when you have this braid uh-huh you walk in yeah for the listener at home what am i doing you're stroking your braid keep going animal, you're walking through, and then there's a very subtle transition

into when you're entering the Avatar area. Suddenly, the plants are looking a little stranger. Uh-oh. A little purpler. Uh-oh. And off in the distance, what's that you see? The floating mountains of Pandora. Uh-oh.

Which are really fucking well executed. Uh-huh. They sort of design them so that the vines are hiding the support beams holding them up. So even if you're close, you can see that they're tethered to the ground. But if you're walking under them, you really kind of buy the scale of it. Now here's the thing I was most impressed by. Unlike Turok the First Flight, you have no cast members playing N'Vi. The expectation, I think, for a lot of people was that you'd walk in you have no cast members playing Navi. Okay.

The expectation I think for a lot of people was that you'd walk in and there'd be some jamokes on stilts. Right. You're saying it's all animatronic. And the employees

are dressed up as essentially RDA employees. They're like you know the cast members are functioning like Sigourney Weavers. Being like we're humans who have come here to bridge the gap with Navi.

I think technically the idea is that the park takes place thousands of years after the movies. So like the human Navi wars have ended and we're all good now. Jesus fucking Christ. So you're saying, all right. So Tarouk. Yes.

In case anyone didn't remember, it takes place about a thousand years before the movie. No, no, no, no. First flight. It's about the first flight. Yeah. You know, TB the movie no no no first flight it's about the first

flight yeah you know tbh it's uh first flight yes uh and this is a thousand years after something like that because james cameron is he's too busy he's like he's don't approach on my territory with what i want to cover in the movies go far enough away and just now it's peaceful coexistence it's great so all the cast members are expats right who now live on pandora right the the navi we see are animatronics within the rides i think big biggest second biggest note behind give me some some bottoms at the gift shop yeah i would love a planted animatronic or two when you're walking around the park of an avi it kind of gives us some magic that you only see the nav two when you're walking around the park of a Navi. It kind of gives it some magic that you only see the Navi when you're on the rides.

But the animatronics are so impressive. And I'm a huge robot fan. And that's the thing I like most about Disney World is fucking Walt Disney was good at robots. This is just so dumb. And I love all the robots at this park. Ben and I are just looking at each other.

But like they have like at night they do like a drum show where they explain to you the musical traditions of the Navi. But that feels like a little like, because it's like some dumb fucking humans reappropriating the Navi culture. And going like, in Navi land, Navi land Pandora. You know, and they're like playing these big ceremonial drums and wearing like kind of what I'm wearing right now. That sounds incredibly embarrassing. Yeah, it is. I don't know how else to put it.

But there are no kind of freestanding N'Vis animatronics or even creature animatronics. I'd love a dire wolf. You know? Yeah, a dactyl? Is there a flying thing? No. Is there a six-legged

horse? I think that's the direwolf. Yeah. Whatever, you said direwolf. Oh, I think I'm combining two things. No, not in the walk-around area. The walk-around area is more focused on flora than fauna. That's cool.

And there's a beautiful ambiance. There's sort of a nature track. You hear the sounds of the creatures around you, okay? Now, when I was walking through, there was a cast member dressed up as like an RDA employee or whatever talking to another cast member. And he was saying that he wasn't performing very well. He was talking just to another person and he went so he's just standing there in the middle of the area and then this dire horse comes up right behind him two inches behind him and i went like wait is this guy eagerly explaining the plot of avatar to another employee or is he so in character that not even communicating with visitors

he wants people to believe that he's telling stories of what he's seen in Pandora. And it's that level of detail. Is there, um, remember how when we went to Tarouk there was that guy who farted at the condiment table? Is there anything like that going on? Yes, many fat people were farting.

It's Orlando, Florida. I mean, come on. Was there any sauce boys? There were sauce boys. There's gotta be. There were sauce boys. Okay, so we I mean, come on. Was there any sauce boys? There were sauce boys. There's gotta be. There were sauce boys. Okay. So we're, we're walking around this area. We go immediately

to the first ride, which is now the most popular ride at Disney World. Avatar Flight of Passage? Correct. Which is a, is it like a 3D,

like a VR ride? Yes. So it's not like a roller coaster. No. It's like you get in like a simulation booth. Right.

They have two rides right now and I'd say they could... Is it like one of those things where it goes like I'm going to tell you what it is. It's going to blow your mind. Okay. Remember those things? I loved them when I was a kid. This is kind of like that. Okay. The third ride I think they could use is like a roller coaster. Right. I think they could use a good roller

coaster because right now they have a great motion simulator. They have a dark story ride they need like a thrill ride when you're on the birds well that's what this is but maybe I don't know I mean look fucking give me two Ekron rides give me some fucking

it's not like we shouldn't double down on Banshees at a fucking Avatar theme park you know I just don't care so the first ride we get there and the line was really long but we got there first thing in the morning so i think we only waited like an hour and a half and we're asking the employees like what's the worst wait time you've had and they were like 600 minutes 600 minutes yes wait i have to do the math that's

10 hours basically correct wait like someone waited 10 hours? Many people. I mean, if that many people weren't willing to wait, the wait would not be that long. But that... So, like, when they say 600 minutes, they literally mean... They just mean that at the peak,

they were telling people you would have to wait 600 minutes. There's like an LED screen. There can't be someone who would actually wait 10 hours. Many did. Otherwise, the wait would not be there. Well, but surely some Like the, she was saying like the opening weeks. Sure.

Fanatics were waiting like 10 hours. That's like, people sleep outside of movie theaters. I mean it's the same shit. On an average day it can still hit 4 hours. For one, people don't really do that anymore. But for two, when you sleep I do. Well, you've got problems. Yeah, that's also But for two, when you sleep out... I do.

Well, you've got problems. Yeah, that's also just my choice, Ben. You're not waiting to see a movie. When people sleep outside a movie theater, they spent money on the ticket. It's just the ticket. But here, it's like... Well, it used to be you were spending... You were waiting so you could spend the money.

You're fucking well-actualing me. But here, it's like you paid to get into avatar land right so it's like you're kind of it's a lot of time wasted on the one ride i agree and there's a system called the fast pass system where you can sign up online to get a time to come back but the avatar fast pass from the moment they went on sale when the park opened in june maybe they were pretty much filled up for the rest of the year i did it's like a whole world i don't understand at all a world of pandora like i would go to disney world if it was in brooklyn and i had to wait zero minutes for every ride you know what i mean god can you imagine if there was a disney world in

brooklyn we're like hipster world yeah uh the fourth theme park would be called coffee land what about artisanal roller coasters ben's got my staff and he's acting like he's angry like he's a warrior he's poking at the sky hold it still ben it's blurring it's too much of an action shot ben can't stop fighting this is the best episode we've ever done this is a real throwback to those fucking star wars episodes we do where like god knows what we were talking about. Yeah. Or rather, AWOL knew what we were talking about. So we ended up

having to wait maybe a little over an hour change. We got there pretty early, right? And marched right through. But they were saying sometimes the line is so long

that the wait to get on the Avatar ride extends past the front gates to Animal Kingdom. Jesus. You can't even get into Animal Kingdom

because the line's so long. But we wait a reasonable amount and the pre-ride area is great because it's like the fucking Avatar labs, right? It's like you feel like you could turn around

and see Dilip Rao at any moment. Is that how you say his name? I don't know. I took a swing. I think it's Dilip Rao. I think you're probably right. But they have the giant tank

with like the Jake Sully Avatar. You know when he sees his avatar for the first time and it's like comatose? I've seen the film. And they have a beautiful and it's like fleshy enough that it like kind of like it spasms.

There's unobtainium. You see unobtainium. What's Dilly Brow up to? I don't know. He came out of the gate so strong. But like that was that. And then they locked the gate. They locked it. Yeah. Jeez. He worked with three huge American directors on his first three movies, and then was out of here.

So then we get on the ride, okay? Now, here's the cornerstone of the ride. Disney now owns three of the four biggest screens in the world. Okay. The fourth one is some fucking IMAX screen or some museum screen and the other three are all on this ride so this ride is based around the fucking biggest screen

you can ever imagine I'm listening big screen when you go inside they give you the pre-training thing the video where there's some avatar like fucking... Or an RDA employee going,

look, we have to match you with this. There's a nice kind of thing where they scan you and they show you what your avatar is going to look like and they do it in real time. So you're watching it on a video and that's like fun. And then you go inside the proper room and they give you 3D glasses. And then your ride, it is like a motion simulator thing.

But unlike Star Tours where it's like you're in one box. Or some of these other things ride it is like a motion simulator thing yeah but unlike star tours where it's like you're in one box right or some of these other things where it's like you're in one suit you gotta think outside the box and you're in one chair and that chair moves around your ride vehicle is supposed to represent the the ekron or the banshee as humans call it okay right and so you board your ride vehicle like it's a motorcycle wow so you sit forward like this with your legs on the side strapped in and there's like a back support that comes in so you're like fully like in position very cool like you're riding a creature and then the screen comes up and they sort of like stack aisles on so if you look to the side, you can

see like 40 people over here, 40 people up there, 40 people down here. But your thing moves individually and your ride vehicle, which is not like a track, it's just sort of shifting around, right? To simulate the feeling of riding a living

creature, breathes. So like in between your legs, the thing's expanding. I'm gonna give you like 10 more minutes on Avatar Land, so you know, use them wisely. I need like 40. No, no, no. And contracting. So you feel like you're riding a living breathing creature. Yeah. Which Sophie said

felt very sexual to me. I love it. I love it. Sexy ride. And the ride is just, you're learning how to fly a banshee, but it is so exquisitely done. And the ride is just, you're learning how to fly a Banshee, but it is so exquisitely done. And the big screens, I assume, are like you're flying through the sky. Yeah, and best execution of 3D

I've ever seen, period. Oh, you have the 3D glasses on? You have the 3D glasses, but also the only successful application of smell-o-vision I have ever witnessed. Oh, what are you smelling? Like nature smells, but it's so fucking well done

you feel like you're in a forest. Which really, like, sells the sensory experience of, like, you're going through a tree, and they're like pines, but it doesn't smell artificial. But when you go through a tree, do they, like, hit you in the face? There's some spritzing of water, there's some, like, spritzing of air, there's stuff like that, and there's some good drops, there are a good number of na-na-na-nas. But when you drop, it doesn't drop. No, but it is so sensory, and it tilts quick enough.

That's cool. There's enough going on that it tricks your mind into it. I'd probably enjoy that. That sounds fun. And from a technical standpoint, it's the most impressive piece of ride-making I've ever seen. Cool. So we went on that, and we liked it so much. I think on our last day, we got there super early before opening.

Did it again. We were able to get on it within 15 minutes, which was a really big accomplishment because we were at the front of the line. I'd say you're one of America's greatest heroes. I think so. Yeah. Big shout out to Scott Craven for coordinating that properly.

And then the second ride. I want to point out, you came back from this whole excursion completely wrecked. Yes. We were supposed to record this episode, I believe, the day after you got back and you were just like it's not i was sick for a week yeah uh i'll say this whole trip was very uh uh i came out of feeling very fatalistic okay my i i felt my mortality more than i have in a long

time you're growing up which i hate it's dumb and i fucking don't like it you know but like i hadn't been to dis since I was 20. And now I'm a haggard man of 28. Alright, so I'm going to wrap you up soon. The second ride. The Navi River Journey.

Right. It's like a dark story ride. Right. You're sort of in a boat, it's wet, you're in the water. Yeah, I'm very fond of those.

I love those. Because I'm not really a thrill seeker. Me neither. Roller coasters, I mean, they're okay, but like, I don't have, some people are very drawn to roller coasters. I'm not really a thrill seeker. Me neither. Roller coasters, I mean, they're okay, but like they just, I don't have, some people

are very drawn to roller coasters. I'm not at all. But I like the dark story rides. You know why? You're immersed into this world. It's atmospheric. We love narrative. But people make fun of them.

These are narrative rides. Yeah, those people can go fuck themselves. I mean, I know that like Pirates of the Caribbean is a little cheesy at this point or whatever. Well, no, the problem with Pirates of the Caribbean now is, you know, it's all about fucking Jack Sparrow now. Oh, right. Of oh right they're literally like six different jack sparrow robots now and the whole ride is everyone going like where's jack sparrow and you're trying to play like where's waldo i feel like all these studios disney and warner brothers they're so fucked they're so like dug in with johnny depp they're into depth they they like they are into

depth they like literally like because they're like there was this big interview today where david yates was like i saw that well i just think the whole thing's overblown it was just one accusation it's like yeah it was one accusation from his wife like it's not like some random like you know anonymous person like but beyond that like they the thing that they need to be saying is like look uh yeah maybe we regret uh paying johnny depp whatever it is we've been assigning him to whatever contract we signed him to and and that one's especially frustrating just because they already had fucking colin farrell uh i know well we've ranted about that before but i'm just like and the same with fucking disney Disney where they probably like five years ago

they were like, just make as many DeptBots as you can. Yeah. Build them out. And I'll say this, the robots are really good. They're really good DeptBots, but that makes it more unsettling.

Yeah. So this dark ride, which also has long wait times, I think sort of as the runoff, and I would say is not worth waiting too long for. We had a blankie on the Reddit who was saying the wait time was disproportionate to his enjoyment. It's a pretty short ride, but it's sort of Pandora at night.

And this is the ride where we have all the animatronics of the creatures, but also some really good 3D projections. So you have things running around. You have the sort of sprites in the air. And there are a couple in the V that are fucking unbelievable. The fluidity of their motion. You know, the old like Hall of Presidents thing is the robots just kind of flap their mouths. There's no real lip

sync. This we have like a Navi who's like reciting a prayer and it's like perfect fucking lip movements and it also makes you realize how big these fucking things are. Because sometimes when you're watching Avatar the movie, you lose sense of scale if you spend too much time just around Navi. They're really tall. When you see Navi built as robots, you're like, the movie you lose sense of scale if you spend too much time just around they're really tall

when you see Navi built as robots you're like this is pretty fucking astonishing so the last thing I have to say about the Avatar theme park is we went back one time at night because at night just the walk around it's all lit up in a really kind of beautiful way they do a very classy

sort of bioluminescence and change the whole vibe of the place. That would be a great thing, I would say. You're just in the Orlando area, want to grab a quick green beer, maybe stop by Avatar Land at night. Take in the night sight. I have some photos and videos that I'll post

to our Twitter. The thing that was nice, I tried to take a video of the story ride and everyone, Scott was like, get ready to take a video of the story ride. And everyone, Scott was like, get ready to be a little disappointed. This ride's too short. Our ride broke down. So we were stuck in one spot for like three minutes, which actually was great because we got to spend more time in kind of the ambiance.

It was in like a pretty spot. Yeah. You know? So that was good. Now I'm going gonna play it so we you know we'll get off the avatar section even though listeners are probably not anywhere near their field david's demanding it um i have some more audio i've recorded with my friends with scott elisa and sophie and also our good friend becca siegel who uh works at universal now has also worked at disney so it has some insider perspective on on theme park culture.

But it was a nice trip overall, even though it did make me feel like I was 75 years old and I can't tolerate fun anymore. I also just, it was kind of nice, I'll say this, not to like fucking, but there was this moment where I was like on Space Mountain or something, and I was like, this is one of the last completely apolitical art forms. Like there's no way of theme parks

i was like we're just on a ride everyone's moving really fast everyone's screaming really loud together and we're all just having fun you know i get that there's a there's a kind of unifying thing about being on this car with all these strangers and everyone just having these like totally involuntary reactions of joy and fear and tension and all of that country bears jamboree is a little problematic i mean that that gets into like tricky territory involuntary reactions of joy and fear and tension and all of that. Country Bears Jamboree is a little problematic. I mean, that gets into tricky territory. Most of the attractions are nice

kind of bipartisan, just human experiences, even if I feel like I'm 75 and I can't do it anymore. So I'm going to play this audio. But before I do, I come bearing gifts from the land of Pandora. Okay, here we go.

The natives and their traditions. They passed on to me two things. I said, I have two friends. And they said, you are one of the two friends, right? And I said, yes. And one of the two friends that I'm right now referencing is one of those two friends. The other friend is a different friend. He's not one of the two friends, but he's a great friend.

And don't take that as any sort of backhanded slam against him. Ben. Yeah, what's up? There is a tradition among the Navi to drink the juice of the bean every morning. Oh, sure. And then yell out the ceremonial chant. Pow! I sheet my ponds.

Okay. And so I got for you, in order to drink the ceremonial juice of the bean, straight from the land of Pandora far too intricately wrapped. Jesus, there's another fucking layer. It is a mug representing... Oh, cool! Yeah. The floating mountains of Pandora.

It's a floating mountains mug. Oh my god, wow. This thing is, ooh, it's actually substantial. It's a good mug. It's a good mug. It's also sort of like asymmetrical, you know what I mean? It's a great mug. Weird sort of knobbly mug. A nice ceramic mug.

Now David, I know you've been reckoning with your own mortality recently, not to put you on blast. You crossed into 30 recently. Not that recently. Join the New York Film Critics Circle you know you're questioning the next stage of your life

and you know you have a house where you live but a house is not a home without a family and I'm not trying to put any pressure on you but it's maybe time to take on that added responsibility so David straight from Pandora

an infant of the land give me this thing wrapped in a traditional blanket describe to the listener what you're holding careful careful careful now actually i have a question do we see avatar babies in the movie no we don't at all do we maybe in the like a little neck support there please okay so this is a you know a baby navi um it's got a little velcro blanket wrapped in a blankie uh wrapped in a blankie good point um it's got a big old smile. Yeah, he's happy to see you, David. You're his new daddy.

He's got a mohawk, basically. Like kind of a little straight line tuft. He's a punker. Kind of basically looks like a baby nightcrawler. A bamf. Yes. Yeah, he looks a little bit like a bamfer. Yeah.

Little tail. Yeah. Oh, it's a pretty big tail, actually. Oh, it's actually wearing like a loincloth. Yeah. Well, you're not going to see its baby dick. Get out of here, fucking pervert. God.

All right. It's beautiful. Where are you going to put that in your apartment, David? Well, in a crib. Just to buy a crib. I just saw how much this costs. And I believe the word sticker shock. And then...

Tax deductible, baby. The weirdest part is... It's a terrible donation. There's a tag, right? With like a picture of like what a baby Navi like really looks like, I guess. It's terrifying. It does not look like this.

A baby Navi in real life apparently looks like, I guess, because it's terrifying. It does not look like this. Oh, baby Naveen in real life apparently looks like Tom Sizeworth. Like, no shit. And like, also this picture

of the baby Naveen has braids and this does not have braids. No, because he's a punker. Yeah. Very cool. Thank you.

A lot of cool items at the gift shop. They also had, you could buy your own e-crown that you put on your shoulder. You could squeeze it and the wings would flap.

They also have a booth where you can make your own Naveen action figure that's supposed to look like you but i don't think the technology is very good so i didn't get it because it was very expensive and it didn't look like the people who come in yeah so those are gifts uh yes those are all done okay and now we're gonna go to audio straight from the source the land of pandora okay hi uh this is uh uh griff Barrister Dauphin, Hunter Newman. I'm here live at Pandora, the world of Avatar, aka Avatar Land, aka my home, my new home.

I'm here with good friends, not two friends, but in fact four friends. Sophie Fader, Becca Siegel, Lisa Mulligari, Scotty Kraterman. I mean, God, what an incredible time it's been and only getting more and more incredible by the second. I am currently wearing a full Nivi outfit, a bit of cultural appropriation, but the locals have accepted me as one of their own. Sophie, off-reference on the podcast, first time, long time.

What do you think about the land of Pandora? I think it's soothing. I think it's delightful. I think it has sounds, visuals. It smells vaguely like burnt marshmallows. And it's basically paradise in space. On a scale from 1 to bioluminescent, how bioluminescent would you describe Pandora at night, which is where we currently are at the time now i would say we're about 60 miles under the ocean looking

at a bioluminescent octopus um yeah it's it's it's bioluminescent octopus out of 10 uh becca seagull uh you have been a cast member at both Universal Studios and Disney. So you're an insider expert on theme parks. How would you rank this experientially in terms of the craft, in terms of the business operations? Well, because of my current standing, I can't speak, you know, too completely highly. But I think it's really well done. I think it's beautiful. highly but i think it's really well done i think it's beautiful i think i was concerned about the lack of any kind of um reference point for a guest because we don't like have characters that we're

seeing walking around that we relate to or engaged with but i think the look of it's just so beautiful and i too wanted to buy things okay so oh wait um i forgot that you can't talk about it because of conflicts of interest with your career oh here's a random woman walking by. Her name is Jane Person. Jane Person, what are your thoughts? Oh, it's me, Jane Person. Oh, this place is so beautiful. The colors, the lights, the sounds.

I wanted to buy a make-your-own-bead necklace because there's a couple different beads you can use. I liked the way the footprints on the ground are so large. I liked that there was a special drink with little bubbles in it. Okay, great transition. Thank you, Jane Person. Thank you, Becca Siegel.

Lisa Malagari, the breakout star of this entire trip has unquestionably been the Avatar drink. Can you give us a description of this drink, aka the best thing I've ever tasted in my entire life? Sure. This drink is really delightfully flavorful. It is really sweet, has hints of passion fruit, and has these delightful little yellow boba balls that when they explode in your mouth, they're really tart and delicious. Amazing. Scott Kraterman, you are a Disney Parks fanatic. How many times have you been to Disney World now?

Probably over 40. That's insane. Well, I was a little apprehensive about this place because Disney really hasn't come up with something new that I thought has been up to real Disney standard in a long time. The only ride that they've come out with that has been a headliner in a long time is probably Everest, and I didn't think that was so great. And how many Navi were there on the ride Everest?

Zero Navi. Yeah, bad ride. Yeah, one broken Yeti for 10 years, whatever it is. But Harry Potter at Universal has really pushed Disney to up its game. And I really feel like, despite my apprehension, they knocked it out of the park. It is incredibly themed. They were able to do an amazing job taking a property that nobody really cares about.

Did I present that? Yeah, nobody really cares about. Make it something that you want to be at and live in. The flights of passage ride, in particular, is spectacular. It's like Soarin', but but soarin like i always hoped it could could be at some point taking the technology to the next level and making an experience out of something instead of just you know flying over a landscape um yeah i really impressed with the ride um impressed with the land impressed with the land at night um it's it's like

this is my second time here now from you know two. And I still don't really feel like I've gotten a hang of or a feel for what it is because there's so much to look at. And it's just so much detail. Well, you heard it here first. Avatarland, aka the world Pandora at Animal Kingdom at Walt Disney World Resort is a hit. Okay, so that was the audio from my voyage to Avatarland. Thanks again to my friends for agreeing to be on my... They didn't really agree. Great.

I sort of accosted them into it. Can't wait for them to sue us. Now, David, I should acknowledge, just for the listener at home, because they don't know this, now that we're transitioning out of the Avatar Land section of our episode into the mailbag section, I have removed all my ceremonial Avatar Land garb. Except for your shirt, yeah.

Well, no, for the listener home taking this off now okay all right there it goes there it goes and now i'm fully naked so david i can't wear this avatar garb anymore because we're not talking about it no i need something to put on my body that's the question we've all asked something's better than what i'm wearing right now which is my dumb skin well i think mac welddon is better than whatever you're wearing right now, which, to be clear, is not very much at all. Mack Weldon, good clothes. They believe in smart design.

They believe in premium fabrics. And best of all, simple shopping. Okay, but let me run down some things. You say this is a clothing company. Do they make underwear? Yep. Really? I'm wearing Mack Weldon underwear as we speak, actually.

I have been shopping at Mack Weldon ever as we speak, actually. I have been shopping at Mack Weldon ever since they first partnered up with us. Yes. They gave us a little sample. They wanted us to try it out, and I've gotten underwear. I've gotten socks. I've gotten shirts. Polo shirts. A few of those,

which I like a lot. They've also got silver underwear. They do. And shirts, silver shirts, which are antimicrobial. It's a new antimicrobial technology. Make things smell good. It means they don't stink. I don't like stinky stuff.

And I haven't had this trouble, obviously, but if you don't like your pair of whatever it is you buy, just send it back. They'll refund, no questions asked. Or guess what? You can keep it, and they'll still refund. All right, so we got to get Griffin clothes yeah uh so maybe we'll order something yeah because this is an hr situation what's happening in here right now so go to mac well what's their

fastest delivery time do they deliver within like five or ten minutes yeah so go to macwilder.com yeah because right now i'm getting cold you're gonna go on and there's gonna be a box for a promo code and here's what you gotta do macwildon.com don't leave the box blank put in blank you gotta you gotta put a blank in there promo code blank b-l-a-n-k that is gonna get you 20 off mac weldon stuff and honestly i have become a genuinely big fan macweldon.com promo code blank now let me rustle in here for a second. Let me, hold on one second. Oh, what's in here? Oh my God, it's a mailbag. We're going to do some listener mail.

And I want to start off with a request that we got because we had alluded to in a recent episode our pitch for Men in Black 2 that we had come up with. Yeah, we cooked this up at a trivia night. Solidified our friendship. One time it did. It was an early yeah. Hashtag the two friends competitive advantage. Okay, Ben staring into his mug. It's a good quality mug. It looks cool.

Yeah. It's like drinking out of rocks. Yeah, floating rocks. Yeah. And then we referenced it again recently and it came out. I thought we had talked about it on the podcast but we've never given our pitch before so I promised we were going to do it in the Justice League episode on the Reddit and then forgot to do that so I promised in the Reddit that we were going to do it

on this episode so let's give now our Men in Black 2 pitch do you remember it? I remember it vividly because I've repitched it and I told you this I repitched it to Barry Josephson producer of the Men in Black trilogy and he was like that's what we should like, that's what we should have done. That's what we should have done.

Okay? Yeah. David and I were sitting at the bar of Videology. Men in Black 2 was on TV. We were talking about what a bummer that movie was. Yep. And we got into the central, kind of Gordian knot

of making a Men in Black sequel. Of course, because your key problem, of course, is Men in Black ends with Tommy Lee Jones making this very emotional decision to leave the Men in Black and return to his teenage love. And then Will Smith, Agent J, sees on the National Enquirer,

which we now know is the one legitimate newspaper, man awakes from multi-decade coma, goes back to his wife, seems happy, and you want him to be happy. Also, he's with Linda Fiorentino playing Agent L. Will Smith is with, right. So that's the sequel that's set up.

But the problem is, you can't make a Men in Black 2 without Tommy Lee Jones. But you don't want to disrupt the happiness that Tommy Lee Jones has earned. I would say deserves by the end of that first one. Exactly. So what Men in Black 2 decided to do was, there's some problem,

like some old alien comes who only Tommy Lee Jones can deal with. Yes. Will Smith, Agent J, goes to get him back and like uses this like memory, put her back in her to put his memories back. He has to essentially make him miserable again. But not only that, and it's only dealt with offhand. Yeah. His wife, like their marriage fell apart.

Right. Off screen. Right. When he finds Kay, he's working at a post office. He's grumpy as fuck, and he's just like, I'm divorced, my wife let me. And it's just like, this is a bummer. It is a bummer, and it's more like, you know,

I'm fine with the idea that his life, you know, even though he'd forgotten about it and the Men in Black sort of was like a splinter in his mind, but like, that's gotta be dealt with seriously, not as just an obvious like well we needed him back so right yeah and it was a big thing that that neither of them want to work with

linda florentino again florentino sorry i don't think anyone i mean look yeah that's all rumor or whatever but certainly she is not in men in black two or three the rumor i've heard and i or really any movies the rumor i've heard and it is not from the close source to men in black who i've already referenced. This was just a thing I remember hearing on the interwebs. Because I read an early draft

of Men in Black 2 where she had one scene and Will Smith said, are you sure you don't want to come back out in the field? And she said, no, I prefer being here in the autopsy.

Right? And they apparently said we won't do it if she has even one scene. Wow. They did not like working with her. Okay? She's fantastic in men in black unbelievable

absolutely wonderful performance yeah it's an incredible performance um but we were like okay is there a way to make a movie that's still a k and j team up that isn't such a bummer that doesn't have to go to such sweaty lengths to get him back on the force right right and the answer we came up with was top of the movie pretty similar opening to what we have will smith's got a new partner it's just not the same it's not the same magic his new partner is warburton in the in the movie in the movie i would maybe go with someone who's more dull than dolt if that makes sense sure fine but you know warburton's kind of cute in minibuck too he's cute i think he's not bad in it okay so right yeah so we're in it it's just not the same we're in it he misses he's got

the picture on his desk he misses k and he hasn't been able to get back in touch with him yeah oh weird alien crash landing much like in men in black one when the edgar bug crashes onto edgar's farm and siobhan fallon as vincent dafrio's wife is sort of the first-hand witness who they have to interview they go you have to go out to go, you have to go out to the countryside. You have to go interview this guy who saw the alien firsthand. Who's the guy? Whose property did it land on? Well, it's a kind

retired man with his wife who he's in love with. Tommy Lee Jones. Boom! But he's fully neuralized. Uh-oh. Doesn't remember anything. They don't know each other. Doesn't believe aliens exist. So here's what you still have. Other people reported on it. jay is like what about this alien thing he's like probably a light show fireworks i don't think it was really an alien instead of the dynamic in men in black

one yes where tommy lee jones is the mentor seen it all yes he's taking will smith through things will smith's kind of the funny guy yeah now you flipped it yeah so that they both get to do something new and here's the thing tommy lee jones still gets to be curmudgeonly right right but in a new way because men in black 2 will smith still gets to be fun and kind of energetic but in a new way and and there's a real kind of emotional charge to here's this guy with the person he loves and has been missing, but this guy doesn't even remember him. You know?

Yeah. It's like 50 first dates. He's got to make Kay fall in love with him again so they can be best friends. Right. And you end the movie on some note maybe of them

like meeting up to get coffee. And Jay's still in the agency and Kay's now a new friend who doesn't remember their whole history, but they become friends again. Right. And they're whole.

And Men in Black 2, they try to flip it again to make like Will the straight man and Tommy the funny guy. It's this amazing thing where I read this interview, because Men in Black 2 came after Wild Wild West. Correct. I read this interview with Sonnenfeld where he was like, you know what, and this is between those two movies,

looking back on Wild Wild West. I whiffed on that one. I don't think it worked. And I think one of the problems was it was two straight men. Yeah. Like Will Smith and Kevin Kline both kind of had to play the straight man role. And so like the dynamics were all off. And I won't make that mistake again. Then he makes the mistake again in Men in Black 2.

It's the exact same mistake. And the other problem is he wants Tommy Lee Jones to be the dumb one. So they make it, oh, brain damage because of the denormalization. He's kind of just like an idiot in that movie. I think it's funnier to have him be a curmudgeon. Yeah. You know? Still be high status in that way because he doesn't respect Will Smith.

He's Tommy Lee Jones. But now he just doesn't believe in aliens. Yeah. So that's a great movie. It would have made $500 million in one best picture. That's our Men in Black 2. Would have ruled. And then Men in Black 3 is just like...

Whatever. It's like going for broke in a way, but it's so forgettable. Yeah. But it has this much bigger idea where there's time travel in the 60s and Will Smith's dad played by Mike Coulter. Correct.

And like... Luke Cage himself. One of the most handsome men alive. Extremely handsome. I did a pilot with that guy once and it's kind of stunning how good looking he is. Is he nice? correct and like luke cage himself one of the most handsome men alive extremely handsome i did a pilot with that guy once and it's kind of stunning how good looking is he nice it's so fucking nice yeah i bought i just believe it yeah um so that would be our pitch and i think it's a really good pitch i just think you cannot undo you can't just go back to the status quo just because you think you need to agreed Agreed. And it gets into my

RoboCop thing. You don't want to see progress receded in a sequel, even if you want to get back to the neutral position of what worked in the first one. It's a bummer to the audience to see you take steps back. So here are some questions. Great. Question time, baby. Ben Walker asks...

Is Ben Hosley... The great Ben Walker, asking about the great Ben Hosley, The great Ben Walker asking about the great Ben Hosley pointing to Ben. Who we haven't really introduced. Oh, you mean Producer Ben? The Ben Ducer? The Poet Laureate? The Haas?

The Tiebreaker? Birthday Benny? Soak and Wet Benny? White Hot Benny? I like Soak and Wet Benny. The Fuckmaster? Not Professor Crispy? The Fart Detective?

The Meat Lover? Mr. Positive? Mr. Hositive? The Haas? The guy you would wish a hello fennel? Yeah. crispy the fart detective the meat lover mr positive mr positive the haas the guy you would wish a hello fennel yeah graduate to certain talls over the course of different miniseries such as kylo ben producer ben kenobi ben night Shyamalan ben say it say ben anything ailey ben's with the dollar sign war haas purdue urbane and b19 the fennel maker that's right so is ben hosley still a close personal friend of noted cord wiener cord wiener i don't know that's the word he uses yeah dan lewis i am so happy that i forgot to include

that one in the nickname list because i i i set it up pretty well close personal friend of dan lewis i am yeah dan and i are really close cord wiener is a shoemaker who makes shoes from new leather so there you go wow good word paul yeah does dan lewis have any phantom thread gossip it's this upcoming movie um yeah so dan and i text pretty regularly uh gossip wise i mean you know he's retiring from acting he hasn't really announced what he's doing next yeah no i do have exclusive okay so i just want to say this the shooting process was a nightmare because they didn't do it on a sound stage they did it actually in like this old like house yeah and it was like really tight quarters and like they were sleeping on top of each other he said it was a nightmare yeah it's just not fun yeah not a good experience and let's be honest like dan's sort of doing it for fun you know he's not someone who really wants

to put it all on the line for his work so when there's this lack of luxury i want to remind you guys that we have a lot of questions we want to answer. Okay. Well, all right. You're right. You're right. Let's go to all questions. No bits. No bits. No bits. Dan is quitting acting. Right. And he's actually going to start a podcast. What? You're going to produce the new

Del Day Lewis podcast? Yeah, I know. Dan and I have been kind of like working on like different concepts. I'm going to be sort of like on mic producing his podcast. Okay. And I thought, I don't know if this, if this is cool

because I know we have so much stuff going on. Do you have a clip of the podcast? I do. Oh my God. Dave, we got to listen to a little bit

of the Dan Lewis podcast. Just a little bit. No bits, but we got to listen to a little bit of the Dan Lewis podcast. Okay. Hello, this is Ira Glass, This American Life. This week on the show, stories of second chances.

Dan, no, we can't. This is someone else's show. Well, I've already spent 18 months researching Ira Glass. I'm deep in character. I can't pivot like this. I commit hard to things. No bits, pro smits. Okay, so yeah, we're back. He's both no bits, pro smits. Yeah.

Which, you know, good for him. Yeah, and he's going deep on Glass. He's so deep on Glass that he can't get out. Ben, that's the first 30 seconds of the first episode. Where does the podcast go from there? You immediately shut him out. Ben, that's the first 30 seconds of the first episode? Where does the podcast go from there? You immediately shut him down. Well, he does like

five different stories. He's all of the contributors to the episodes. Wow, that guy's a good actor. Yeah. Okay, no bits. Next question. Sorry.

My friend in Britain just sent the news that his baby was born. How many of you have friends in Britain? Very good question. I was waiting all day for this news.

I'm very happy for him. Congratulations. Shout out to Ollie. Shout out to his daughter. Well, you just had a baby as well, so you know, even still. This is good. And it's staring at me with its felt dead eyes. Next question. Alright, so next

question. How about this from Santa Got That Jingle Jangle aka Tyrone Warner. this is on twitter what would you consider the best and the worst episode of the show hashtag blankies hashtag twisted hashtag waiting for that richard kelly series keep waiting uh maybe we'll do something i'd love him to make a fourth movie you know yeah yeah like because even by our standards like a three episode the shortest career we've ever talked about doing was four. And like, like Richard Kelly's career,

it's like, he made this cult movie that was a hit, then he made this completely bonkers blank check movie that was a flop, and then he made this other kind of bonkers

blank check, but like low, no money movie that was a flop that Cameron Diaz famously gave the twist ending away to at Comic-Con.

Yeah. Like, that was that, you know, sort of excised from Hollywood. There are some people who listeners suggest we cover where it's like,

this kind of isn't the right time to cover them because we're at the middle of the story. The narrative isn't really interesting enough right now because it's about what they do next.

Richard Kelly, we could do at some point. Maybe if he comes back out of retirement. What was the... I think he's working on it. I mean, I've heard... I don't love his movies, but I think he's working on it. I mean, I've heard. I don't love his movies,

but I think he's interesting. That's an interesting guy to have out in the world making movies, even if I'm not a huge fan of those movies. You know? He's mixing it up. He's catfishing us. Yeah. Agreed.

Was that the first part of the question? No. So the question is, what's the best and worst episodes of the show? You know what I go back to? More of like a fave, least fave, obviously. When I have to recommend episodes to people, and the one I

actually re-listen to the most and get the most enjoyment out of, I think is Judging the Judge. That's interesting. And part of it is, it's the Rosetta Stone because it was the episode that sort of started what the podcast would eventually turn into. Because we were still in the middle of the Star Wars days but that was our first time covering like a movie

an episode and talking about the career you know trajectory in relation to the film and I just think that episode is really fucking good bits on it I mean it does I mean it's got it's got some good bits and the theme song I still think is my

proudest moment ever. I mean the theme song was amazing but like I also feel like that's sort also feel like that's sort of where we first figured out what the show would be. So maybe I'm sentimental about it. There's sentiment. But I do think we've done great episodes since then. Well, don't pat yourself on the back. My personal favorite episode is the Matrix episode. Unsurprising.

I listen back to it all the time. I listen back to all our episodes like plenty of times I know that's our first but what is your least favorite Amistad just cause it's just I think we just didn't know

you know but I think we do a bunch of Hopkins with a watering can material that's okay in the middle yeah there was also Amistad you know what actually

is my least favorite episode no you finish though there was a bit I did in the Amistad episode that was so bad Ben you cut it out for my protection. Yes. Do you remember that?

I do. No, I, yeah, no, I remember that very clearly. I literally was like, actually stop. And Ben cut that out. Like we were like, we can't actually do that. And I doubled down. Like three times. Right, because you kept thinking, I think like, oh, well, we're doing a classic thing.

The bit is you telling me not to do the bit. But I was actually like, Griffin, this actually just won't fly. And here's that clip. Yeah. Also, now saying that will make people imagine a much worse bit than what I actually did. Well, it wasn't great. It wasn't great.

But if you imagine the worst thing I could have said in an Amistad episode, it's probably much worse than what I actually said. But here's my least favorite episode is, and I just saw it scrolling by, is the podcastic two, which is, I feel like when we had not, like it was like, it's our sequel to judging the judge because it was our second like non Star Wars episode.

It was a sophomore slump. But it really is like everything we shouldn't do, which is like way too much explaining like we're trying to tackle too many movies, which is like a bad idea. We never should have done that. And like, just kind of like a lot of yelling about comic book shit. Like's just like what i like quickly was like now this isn't this isn't our thing the most you want to cover in one episode is three hotel transylvania movies and no more than that that's the most all right so that was those are good answers right yeah um oh this is actually we should talk about this all right this is also on twitter andy garmuga okay i'm gonna get

to the emails don't worry cool um he'd love to hear our official responses to the J.J. Abrams news. Because we did have our Trevorrow pod where we were speculating like, oh, Rian Johnson. Right. That he would sign on to Direct 9. We even said in that episode, J.J. has already kind of said he doesn't want to do it. But that's the old J.J. Fast one. Because they offered him Force Awakens early. And he said, nope, I would never direct a Star Wars movie.

Then he signed on. Right. Force Awakens early and he said nope I would never direct a Star Wars movie then he signed on right when Trevorrow was outstid he was like I don't think I want to go back to Star Wars and then he signed on it now sort of

makes more sense because I think the Rian Johnson trilogy thing was brewing that he wouldn't want to do 9 you know because he was

setting up this trilogy that's since been announced that's going to be it's own independent and also yeah my guess is this fucking making one of these things

is such a slog that I think it just would have been too demanding or maybe he just didn't have the idea to do it back to back so and or maybe disney was like would you like to you know i wonder who i mean i'm sure ryan had some kind of a pitch of like i also heard whispers that that jj had some fomo about not doing eight well i mean, he was sort of up front about like, you know, I felt like with 7 we needed to ease people back in and that's why I feel like it was a little more slavish to the original. And I read

Ryan's script for 8 and I was like, this is great. I would love to do something like that. And also that 7 was very well received and I think some of his nerves about how high stakes poker you're playing by making a new Star Wars movie. People rag on him, but he had an incredibly difficult task with episode seven, complicated by the fact that that movie had all kinds of production troubles

that were not his fault. That were just... And he, you know, I think he did a great job. I think that movie is wonderful. Now that having been said, J.J. Abrams is notoriously better at starting stuff than continuing or concluding things. Right.

So a minor bit of trepidation there. He's always, that's always where he starts to stumble. His initial world building, his laying out of the characters. I know what you're saying. All that stuff's always good with him. I know what you're saying. You know what? I agree with you, but it's just like, to me, it's like,

the upgrade from Trevor to Abrams is so phenomenal that I can't even think like, oh, what if Brad Bird, blah, blah, blah, whatever. There's a great sense of relief. But I'll say this, you know, a lot of the modern directors, kind of young up-and-coming guys

who are getting pulled into the studio system when people ask us if we do blank checks on them, it's like, we've talked about this, blank check doesn't really exist in the same way anymore because it's like,

oh, if you have a decent movie, you get a big blockbuster, but it's so managed. Well, now the blank checks that we're identifying, it's more like, yeah, the studio gave you a ton of money to make make a brandy a brand movie not a brandy movie right because we're not yet at the boy's mind sure cinematic universe but uh but um you know

and then you do something weird but the difference between like queron doing azkaban and then getting to make children man and gravity versus like david yates doing four harry potter movies and then getting to make Children of Man and Gravity versus like David Yates doing four Harry Potter movies and then getting to make Tarzan and Fantastic Beasts. You know, it's like he's just staying within the tentpole kind of journeyman thing.

But the Rian Johnson news is really fascinating because that feels like as much of a blank check as anyone has gotten within these types of rigid cinematic universes so far.

Who knows what those films will end up being, but if they're allowed to, out of whole cloth, create a new trilogy, that's really exciting. Next question. Thank you, Andy. He also wants to know how we think WB will panic after Justice League. We talk about,

we'll just briefly mention, we were way off on our Justice League box office predictions. Not just about Justice League, but I think I said the Star was going to delgo it up. Star did fine we thought Star was gonna make like 2 it did 9 it made like 10

and it got an A plus cinema score we thought Wonder was gonna do 12 it did 28 Wonder I believe has made 4 billion dollars in time of recording my man Tremblay

Tremblay has been crowned king of America it's fucking nuts it's nuts Wonder's gonna make like 200 million domestic you know it's partly I think also we are really underrating Julia.

Yeah. You know, people aren't ready for her again. Yeah, although it's weird because she had a couple, I mean, like even, Wonder's going to greatly outgrow E Pray Love, which was her sort of comeback movie after being gone for like five years. And the ones since then haven't burnt up the box office. I think it's the right time. I think it's the right role for her.

I think there's a generational thing to like girls who grew up with julia now being mothers and being able to take their kids to see julia roberts movie and all that all that sort of stuff nothing but respect for my man trembley anyway and as to wb and justice league i really just don't know they're panicking but what they need to do is not panic and just make good movies be like look we've got our command coming hopefully that'll be okay but more importantly we have wonder woman 2 coming that's in like production yeah and like making good movies is way more important than anything else here look here's my advice to warner brothers they got like 20 things they've announced at one point or another they're working on and the e d m e c u o m d c whatever right next question what i'm saying is they should look at those 20 scripts and whatever script is best they should make that movie they E-C-U-O-M-D-C No, fuck off. Whatever, right?

Next question. What I'm saying is they should look at those 20 scripts and whatever script is best, they should make that movie. They should make movies that have good scripts. Okay.

Ryan Rosendahl asks, has any of the miniseries changed your opinion of a director? I feel like we all pretty much like these directors going in. Yes. Shyamalan a little bit. I had really written him off as a joke when we started doing in. Yes. Shyamalan a little bit. I had really written him off

as a joke when we started doing him. Yes. And, you know, even though I still don't like a lot of his movies, I was like, no, I forgot.

I forgot this guy is for real. Right. It's just that he made a lot of weird decisions. Individual movies certainly have changed my mind on, you know? Yeah.

I don't know. Whole Cloth, you know? Yeah. I mean, maybe cloth. You know? Yeah. I mean maybe someday. That'd be nice. I'd love to completely change my opinion

on director although it'd be a bummer if it was realizing director sucked who I thought I loved. Right. But it hasn't happened yet. I think I'm still basically

apart from that like you know. Yeah. Like the second half of the Cameron Crowe series is a bummer but I rewatched Jerry Maguire

with the family over Thanksgiving. God does that movie work. Perfect movie. Ambassador Kwan. As you know i like that movie yeah ambassador um my dear wormwood at my dear wormwood okay tobit asks for your i'm gonna provide mine okay but your definitive muppet movie ranking here's his which i wildly disagree with. Or maybe it's backwards. I saw this ranking. I think he's going in descending order from best to worst. Well, then his from best to worst

is The Muppets, Muppets from Space, Muppets Christmas Carol, Great Muppet Caper, Muppets Take Manhattan, Muppets Treasure Island, Muppets Most Wanted, The Muppet Movie. The Muppet Movie is at the bottom. Then maybe it has to be ascending. Also, I mean, Muppets Most Wanted, the Muppet movie. The Muppet movie is at the bottom. Then maybe it has to be ascending.

Also, I mean, Muppets from Space is at the bottom of everyone's list. Any honorable American, it's a bad movie. Yeah. So maybe it is ascending. But what's yours? My order, I'll say it shifts a lot, and it shifted even recently. Okay. I oscillate between the Muppet movie and Muppets Take Manhattan being number one. I'd say as of right now, I'd probably put the Muppet movie and Muppet's Take Manhattan being number one.

I'd say, as of right now, I'd probably put the Muppet movie number one. I'd put Muppet's Take Manhattan number two. I'd put Muppet Christmas Carol

number three. My most controversial opinion is I like caper less than most hardcore Muppet fans. Then I would put, I think at the present moment i maybe put muppets most wanted a hair before the muppets sure i think because muppets most wanted is more of like

a muppet movie and it's a yeah i rather than like a jason it was less well received because people were more into or had gotten accustomed to the jason seagull format and uh the yeah muppets most wanted is like a pure outright Muppet movie. It has some really good fucking songs in it too. And Constantine's a great character. So I would do that. Then I would put Great Muppet Caper. Then I would put Muppet Treasure Island.

And then I would put Dead Dead Last Muppets from Space. So mine would be number one Muppet movie, I think. I just think that that's a special movie. I agree. Then number two, Muppets Christmas Carol I think. I just think that that's a special movie. I agree. Then number two, Muppet's Christmas Carol, which is very important in my childhood. And you know what doesn't get enough credit? Really well directed. Beautifully directed.

Actually looks amazing. Brian Henson doesn't have a lot of the sort of creativity and vision of his father, but as a technical director, he is a better filmmaker. It's an atmospheric movie, like genuinely. And Michael Caine's

pretty darn good in it. The sets are so fucking good in that film. It's beautifully shot. And Caine rules, yes. I just love the bit with Gonzo playing Dickens. I just think that's funny

to this day. And the songs are great in that movie. Then I guess I would go like Take Manhattan, Caper, like 3, 4. I like both of those. I haven't watched either of them since I was a kid. Rewatch Take Manhattan, it rules. Yeah, no, I think that's my 3, thenaper, like 3, 4. I like both of those. I haven't watched either of them since I was a kid.

Rewatch Take Manhattan, Rules. Yeah, no, I think that's my three. And then I guess I'll put The Seagull, 1, 5th, and Most Wanted, 6th. Those ones are sort of just whatever to me. I'm a grown-up. And then like- Get out of here. I just am.

I'm sorry about that stuff. I'm not even trying to be a dick. It's like- And then Treasure Island and Space. They're at the bottom. Treasure Island's fun. It's fun. All those movies except for Space be a dick. It's like, and then Treasure Island in space. They're at the bottom. Treasure Island's fun. It's fun. All those movies except for space

are basically good. Space sucks. Space is rough. Yeah. I saw that in theaters. I'll say this. Filmstruck, currently,

they recently put up a collection of like, Jim Henson short films. Like his experimental live action short films and animated short films he made when he was young, pre-Muppets. Yeah, okay.

And also some of his later TV specials, which makes me think that they're maybe putting together Criterion non-Muppet works of Jim Henson box set, which I would love. Yeah. But I re-watched those the other night. What a good guy that was. What an interesting artist that guy was.

Very interesting artist. To be working in such a mainstream populous space, man, I like that guy. Alejandro Villarreal, old fam. The great Alejandro Villarreal old fam the great Alejandro asks what's your favorite performance

of 2017 that's question one okay let me I gotta consult my list so give me question two as well at the same time what is the performance

with the most ham with a dash of paprika from 2017 yeah most performance my favorite 2017 performance is Willem Dafoe

that's my performance of the year that's the performance that clicked with me and there's a lot of performances I love this year like a lot and we'll talk about that more on the Blankies episode next year but I think that performance is like astonishing

I'm gonna throw a crazy one out there. Sure. And it's crazy because it's a movie I don't really love. I certainly love it less than other people, but it's kind of the performance I keep on coming back to. I think Patrick Stewart's pretty fucking phenomenal in Logan. That's a great performance. That performance kind of floored me.

It's not top 10 of the year, but it's amazing. Yeah, I see. I think it's upper echelonsons i think that's one of the best all right all right but have you considered something what i don't even know if i should say this and i just noticed that ben is googling assassin's creed imdb page which is a wonderful thing that he just did say it say it logan is kind of a secret western i know i know david you can't say that on life because the star whackers might come after us the illuminati might come after us yeah it is yes secretly uh i'm not crazy about that film me neither i. I think it's pretty good. Yeah. I actually think it's great except for the R-rated stuff.

Interesting. I think that, and like, I don't mind that it's rated R per se, but it's like, I think like anytime it's sort of, it's a little extra about like the violence and the stuff.

Right. Especially the sort of barn, you know, the house sequence in the middle of the movie. I'm just like, it kind of takes me out of it and it becomes like just sort of a little, it just seems like it's trying too hard and it sure like i like the world that it has going like the weird sort of like crappy future and i love the like weird

things like those self-driving trucks and like yeah you know like this whole world that's just sort of like automated and but like in a kind of lame and boring way i just think that movie should be an hour shorter it's a bit too long because it but like in a kind of lame and boring way. I just think that movie should be an hour shorter. It's a bit too long. Because it feels like it has no narrative propulsion, because a lot of that movie is Logan refusing the call. It's her asking him to take her to this place where the kids are, and him going, it doesn't exist, shut up, shut up.

And then some people chase them, and they go a little further, but he still doesn't want to take her there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you compare that to Children of Man, which is a movie it's very similar to yeah or even though clive owens character doesn't believe that this ship exists he keeps moving forward trying to take her there because that's his job you know and logan i think kind of just spins its own wheels for a large section of it but the the patrick's performance is one of the most heartbreaking sort of dementia performances I've ever seen because I think he balances the lucidity with the sort of absence really, really well,

which makes it very heartbreaking when he has these moments where he's right there and then you see it slip in his eyes. I just walked out of that movie and I was like, God, right, that guy's such a good fucking actor. Yeah. I kind of want to, all right, well, what's the hammiest performance of the year? And to me, that means good.

Yeah. Ham with a dash of paprika Means good So I'm going to speak up for I mean an obvious answer to this And you probably haven't seen This movie yet Is Old Man and Darkest Hour Which is like

Yes Right But like The secret He's chewing ham on that Sure Yes but actually The secret of that performance

Is the shit he nails Is the quiet stuff That's why that performance Is actually good Rather than just like Typical thundering Sure To me the best ham Paprika performance of the year Is Jake Gyllenhaal why that performance is actually good rather than just like typical thundering. Sure.

To me, the best ham paprika performance of the year is Jake Gyllenhaal in stronger, which is this very sort of like big and kind of a little obvious and like a type we've seen before. They're like Boston, you know, schmuck who's like, but, uh,

is like still like really good and authentic. But like at times you're like, okay, Jake, you know, we get it. You got times you're like, okay, Jake, we got it. You got the accent. I'll say my favorite, I think, is Robert Pattinson in Good Time. I mean, I think that's a wonderful performance.

But that's a very big performance. It is. He's taking huge swings. That's such a good performance. The entire movie, he's full tilt, but I think it always feels like a real fucking guy. I like that movie a lot. Yeah, I do too.

I love that performance. Yeah, that's an incredible performance. I'm going to throw a hot take. Performance, I think, could have used a little more ham. Yeah. Too much paprika. I want a little more ham on it. Yeah. Elizabeth Banks and Power Rangers. I was sitting there the whole time going, Liz, you can go bigger.

She could have gone bigger. She's big in that movie, but she could go huge and it would work. The movie could support that. Whereas I think Cranston is actually kind of in a weird, in the pocket there. Well, he wins

my best supporting actor. He's so good. Well, you know what? He is awful in his last five lines. I've heard that. That is a stinky performance. We'll get to that later.

All right. I'm Laugh Alone asks, have I ever been recognized in public? He's asking Ben and I because obviously you get recognized in public. And if yes, because of the pod, and if yes, how did it feel?

Yes, and it's very strange. Almost always, though, it's like at Toronto, I got recognized a bunch. And if I go to rep screenings once in a while, because that's where the movie nerds are. It's very weird. Ben, you've gotten some shout outs, right? Yeah. You've gotten some hello fennels.

I've gotten definitely some helloFennels at comedy shows. And then I feel like all of your film friends. Sure. Oh, sure. Right. Of course. They're like, producer Ben. They're always like enthusiastic in a way where I'm very honored.

And yeah, it's nice. I'll say this. I've maybe gotten like physically recognized more for the podcast than the tech really i get stopped a lot for podcast things or even like there was the time i think i told you i went to the the uh oceans eight wrap party where i didn't know anybody i brought romilly because i have my two lines in oceans eight that are going to get cut out when it comes out 18 months from now uh-huhhuh. And I like didn't know anyone there. Like none of the crew

people came up and talked to me. The like two people came up and talked to me were like, hey, you're Griffin Newman from Blank Check, right?

Wow. It's always great. In a room with like Sandra Bullock and Anne Hathaway they were like, you're the Blank Check guy, right?

Yeah. And I got stopped a lot of Comic Con like for Blank Check shit. It's always, it's always very sweet and I just, I think it's great keep doing what you're doing baby interesting what are your pet peeves while watching a movie asks

the mong gang i mean uh cell phones on is a nightmare for me if i see someone with a cell phone screen i can't stop looking at it i have to move i get really i get upset on two levels where it's like one i'm mad that they're doing it and two I'm also just mad that it's distracting me it's like a physiological response your eyes go towards a light in a dark room you know so you can't ignore it and I also hate the statement they're making

you just paid fucking $15 slapped it down on the barrel and now you're sitting here and immediately taking your phone out and playing League of Champions what else do I hate yeah honestly I'm fine the barrel and now you're sitting here and immediately taking your phone out and playing League of Champions. So we have a classic pet peeve. What else do I hate? Yeah, honestly, I'm fine. I mean, I like an aisle. I know you like the middle.

That's not really a pet peeve, that's more just a preference. They call me Patricia Heaton because you can find me in the middle. I don't like it when you can hear the train. Sure, the Angelica. Yeah, that kind of takes me out a little bit. I'm going to throw one one out which might be surprising just because i think most people don't care but it actually annoys me when people leave the theater before the movie ends yeah that drives me crazy unless i mean look if we're if we're in the

credits fine you can leave but when people are like oh the film seems to be wrapping up let me leave no this isn't a baseball stadium no all right step right. Stephen Hofford asks, have you tried poutine? And if so, yes or no? Yeah, I fucking love it. I spend a lot of time in Toronto. Right, because you go to Toronto every year. At least once a year, if not twice. I have good friends who live there.

And I'm all about poutine. And I'll get it anywhere I can get it. I mean, because like, you know, in Canada, they got like poutine at like Burger King or whatever. So if I'm at like a nice place with my friends, I'll get poutine. But if it's like three o'clock in the morning,

Burger King's open, I'll get some Burger King poutine. Burger King poutine. I'm all about poutine. Burger King poutine. Well, I had never had poutine until I went to Toronto this year for the festival. Oh, brank. And like one day I was like, well, shit, I got to do it. I got to get the poop.

And I did it. And I was FaceTiming with Joanna because we were, you know, chatting because I was away. And so, and I was just sitting there like shoveling it's good I mean obviously it's like French fries with gravy and curd

it's nice but the whole time I was like man I'm gonna poop everywhere after this right you know and I didn't so shout out to that poutine

it's got some structural integrity to it that was fun can I read a couple here just speed around a couple okay okay you're curating now uh i just i got three here that i saw because they were responses to me repeating the thing so they're not going to show up in your thing uh james ward the great james ward opinions on rotten tomatoes becoming the go-to metric for

films quality i think we both got the same take on this so i want to get it out here quick fine because i feel like we i'm sure i agree just got the same take on this, so I want to get it out here quickly. Fine. Because I feel like we both... I'm sure I agree. Just say it. ...offhandedly slammed it, and people want to know why. Okay. The problem is that Rotten Tomatoes only tells you how many people think a movie is...

Watchable. ...is okay at best. Fine. A decent time. Yes. So you could get a film that has 100% on Rotten Tomatoes where everyone goes, it's a 6 out of 10. Here's how it goes for me. Well, yes, exactly.

Metacritic's a much better system because it's an average based off of giving everyone's review a score from one to a hundred so i belong to uh rotten tomatoes and metacritic yeah and i submit my reviews which is i think what they prefer yeah rather than them picking it so with rotten tomatoes i will enter my review and say if it was fresh or rotten right usually an easy distinction yeah with metacritic they ask me and i like to you know tell them the number sure like give them a number rating this is kind of a 75 yeah and yeah metacritic's a lot better system for that reason they also are you know they're very picky about who they include not that rotten tomatoes shouldn't

be you shouldn't be more broad it's fine but that's the thing like rotten tomatoes is just giving you a consensus and and something like ladybird which now is the best reviewed movie in the history of Rotten Tomatoes, which I think is a phenomenal film. What's more important is it has a 94 on Metacritic. That's crazy. Yeah, that's nuts. But it speaks to the fact that that's a movie that's hard to dislike. I agree.

Whereas most great movies are divisive. That's our takedown. Okay, speed round two more. If you could pick one company to make a Griffin Arthur toy, what would it be? That's your question. Hence why I'm reading it right now. I don't want to slam anything because there's still the companies

that are maybe producing things, although there seem to be some speed bumps in getting Arthur merchandise out there. There's a company called Super 7 I really like that does weird retro stuff. Yeah. So they have a line called Reaction Figures where they make modern day toys

that look like the old 70s Star Wars figures with the kind of crude, rigid sculpting. I would like that. You're a big nerd. What's your other one? I'm a big old nerd. When will you be covering Martin Brass, PTA, and most importantly Frank Oz? So I'm using this as a catch-all for all the questions that are just, when are you covering this person?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which we get a lot. We get a lot. Which is fine. I mean, obviously it's the format of our show. So it's fine. And I'll tip a hat and say we're working on something that I think fans will find very exciting. Right. Regarding all of this. The collection of all the people who get brought up a lot in our conversations. We have a lot of people

in, like, sort of planned for next year. We have all but one miniseries locked down pretty much at this point. Yes. And what we're going to do with that one open spot, I think fans will find exciting, and we'll talk about that later in the year. I mean, later in 2018.

Here's a question from King Guthrum that I have been asked a few times, including by the great David Ehrlich, past and future guest. What the heck does sweaty mean in context of a film

slash story I think this I thought this was obvious me too I once tried to use it in an article

and my great and wonderful editor Lenica Cruz one of my good friends was like

literally was just like no what is that word fuck no you're not using that and I was like

right this is just our word like well it's weird I always used it and my friend Spike who I've talked to before who was my roommate when I dropped out of like what's weird i always used it and and my friend spike who i've talked to before who was my roommate when i dropped out of college when i was 19 we use sweaty all the time i don't remember which one of us brought it to the other but we would anytime

we use sweaty describe something we crack up laughing the idea is a visible amount of effort you're seeing sweat you're seeing the movie sweat it's just like in total recall where he sees the beat of sweat go down his face right the thing The thing's getting sweaty. And it's like he knows something's up. It's not operating smoothly. Even if you make it through, it's not without visible effort. Seth Finkelstein asks, is Don Bluth the only blank check animator in the modern day? No.

Wink, wink, wink, wink. Alright. Yeah, that's true. And also, modern day, I mean, his day is a pass. He's doing crowdfunding campaigns to start a dragon slayer. Be cool to do Bluth. Bluth would be cool but that 90s run is rough right but that was

that was a weird run he had where he had a blank check because Spielberg gave it to him because they wanted to try to take down Disney Larry Lazard asks Super Mario Brothers

great movie or the greatest movie I've seen that low key gentlemen's three stars David gave it on Letterboxd I love Super Mario Brothers I've seen that movie

so many times that's a weird movie that my brother and I watched a lot I know it's not good but it's so fuckingd. I love Super Mario Brothers. I've seen that movie so many times. That's a weird movie that my brother and I watched a lot. I know it's not good, but it's so fucking weird. And I think I'm going to be on Masterpiece next year

to talk about it. Really? Well, not part of the five-timer stuff yet. I got one here from Facebook. Josh Batty asks, what's your favorite movie you think deserves a remake?

For example, it was a genius idea, but was just terribly executed. Or you could even do this question. What's your favorite movie that deserves slash needs a sequel that never got one? Okay, I got a really good answer for this. I always

thought that The Last Starfighter was the most remakeable movie because it's a phenomenal premise for a film that was executed okay. A subject that's only more relevant now and omnipresent in terms of the culture's relationship to video games, and was also hobbled by limited budget and special effects, right? There was a period of time where I would, when you're in Hollywood, do the rounds, do these general meetings. I had a general meeting at Universal, and I told them that I thought you could do a really good Last Starfighter remake and pitch it on them.

And they were like, could you try to write this thing for us? And I was, for a period of time, writing sort of treatment stuff for a Last Starfighter remake. It never got very far. It was never being paid money. But I had a take on it that I thought was really good. And it turned out that the rights on that thing are like a fucking boondoggle. They're split between companies that went out of business. They're separated.

And the screenwriter still retains the approval rights for anything, and he doesn't want to let anyone remake it because he thinks he's going to make a sequel with the original cast, which will never happen. But here's the reason I'm bringing this up. Why? Both Seth Rogan and Steven Spielberg actively want to remake The Last Starfighter. I think Rogan's pitch

was a little similar to mine. Neither of them could get the rights. Spielberg said give up on it. It's not possible. That's one of the reasons that Spielberg did Ready Player One, because it had the elements of what he wanted to do in The Last Starfighter, and that's the new Rogan show, Future Man, is similarly him trying to get out his stuff. That's the one I think would be

most remakeable. Sky High 2 is the sequel I want to see most. It's too late now, because the kids grew up with it. Maybe you could do a next generation kind of thing. First Sky High, Rules, I'm going to be talking about that on Masterpiece a next generation kind of thing. First guy high rules. I'm going to be talking about that on Masterpiece. This is the episode where we talk about Masterpiece. Remake Fletch. Okay, fine. With you. No, don't. Yeah, with me in it.

No, but Ben's going to be in it. Okay, fine. I'll have the steak sandwich and a steak sandwich. He's so funny, David. He's our funny little boy. I'm going to switch over to the emails. Do you not have answers? No. Okay, cool. David is

too complicated a question. I would have to think about that for a while. I think there were some good scoops in my answers. No, I think your answers were good. You had answers. I was briefly writing a treatment for the last time. That was never shown to higher ups. I'm into it.

Joe. Oh, the other one is i i obviously my dream project is i want to remake midnight run with me and gal gadot okay it sounds great you know who's cute though is camille and gal gadot they've now done like two separate things together for award season and they've become this kind of like fun couple okay that's cute but let me and her make a buddy comedy together I want dibs on that Andrew Madigan asks what do you think of Coco and how does it rank in the Pixar pantheon

already talked about loved it I'm hoping to see it after this podcast yeah we talked about it on this episode I mean cause I can get there late right cause I don't

I don't want to see this fucking garbage the fucking Olaf thing the movie will start 35 minutes after advertised show time at the earliest alright

I loved it I think I can't rank it yet because I've only seen it once and I've seen every other Pixar movie too many times other than the ones that I hate. But right now I think Pixar is, I think Coco rather is in the top 40% of my Pixar rankings.

I think it's maybe about 8 or 9 on my list. Here's Kate Fuego. I think it's Fuego. Do you know her? I was corrected once for saying her name incorrectly. I'm sorry, Fuego. I think it's Foyo. Foyo. Do you know her? I was corrected once for saying her name incorrectly. I'm sorry. Foyo. I think it's Fuego. Oh, well, it's got, there's no G.

Well, whatever. Okay. Kate. Foyo. Foyo. Okay. I just asked. I think we're walking into a land.

What's your favorite park? Like, you know. Central Park? Theme Park. Well, sure. Yeah. No, I think she means theme park. I'm weirdly partial to the Universal Studios in Hollywood,

which is very small, a manageable size. And whenever I go out to LA for work stuff, I go there by myself. And if you are a single rider at a theme park, you don't have to wait online because any family that has an odd number of people, they throw you on there. So I can go on like every ride within two hours,

except I just have to sit creepily next to a family but i did that once when i when i was screen testing for mulaney they flew me out and because it was nbc they had me stay at the universal hotel there next to the theme park and my screen test was at noon and i went to universal i woke up at 9 a.m went on every single ride was back my hotel room in time to screen test and fucking book the gig and then get fired. All right. What's your favorite ride? I mean now it honestly might be the Avatar ride. It was previously at a haunted mansion. Okay. Well

she wants to know how long did you wait and I think you've answered that already. First time I think about an hour and change. Second time about 15 minutes. She says you're disowned. You have to wait at least two hours according to her. Okay. And are you one of those heathens that prefers Universal? It doesn't seem like you are. Well, I said I like the, yeah.

I understand objectively people, Disney fans hate Universal. I like Universal a lot. But I understand the craft is better at Disney. Universal has more properties than I'm into right now, maybe. I don't know, Disney has Pixar. Who knows? Next question. Okay, mailbag q for ben

this is from nathan w great nathan w you've worked on nathan swagner maybe yeah you've worked on a lot of podcasts as a producer true what is it about blank check that gives it a special place in your heart i think it's the two-hour run times that's what I really love. No. Ben wants to kill himself. What are we at? 415 now for this app? Yeah. At least. I remember when you guys

pitched this show and Legendary pit. It was ridiculous but I had worked with Griffin previously. We've talked about the other show was like a Gethard

like a kind of recap show. Yeah. Gethard show. And so what I really recognized in you guys was that you were passionate about what you're talking about. You really, really knew the ins and outs to a level where having done this now for over two years with you guys,

like I've learned shit about the industry. Well, this is an educational podcast, first and foremost. I mean, legit, like you guys you guys know feedback all the time, people even reading these emails, because we're not going to be able to get to all of them. But you guys really know this world and love this world and have a passion for the world of Pandora. Walt Disney World, for sure.

So, yeah, I've really enjoyed working on this project with you guys. Oh, come on. We love you, Ben. Get out of here we love you Ben you're really the reason this keeps going I would say at least

especially at the beginning I would say can you imagine us having to upload this podcast on a weekly basis that alone not even the recording I remember when we were

first pitching it you were like I'm down but you really should find someone for us to like help us with everything because I can't do this myself

and I remember thinking because I was like doing this like DIY podcast with Sony where I was like oh it's not that hard but you didn't do that many episodes you weren't on a regular basis you were pretty I know And I remember thinking, because I was doing this DIY podcast with Sony, where I was like, oh, it's not that hard. But you didn't do that many episodes.

You weren't on a regular basis. You were pretty... I'm making fun of myself. I was like, what the fuck? I never would have been... Anyway. I knew we needed Ben. William Taylor's got a few questions for us. Okay, speed round.

The great William Taylor. Speed round. One, would a theoretical Steven Soderbergh miniseries do all his movies or start in the 2000s? No, you would have to start at the beginning but it's a lot I mean the reason we're not going to do it anytime soon is it's so many movies and it's like after sexualized and videotaped it's like six movies that are like really weird Kafka and the Underneath and King of the Hill which are like

interesting movie and Schizopolis which he's a big fan of and like Schizopolis is an interesting movie but like fucking hell i'd love to do him someday you know i think the two instances we've done of like limiting a filmography for the sake of a series there's a clear kind of ellipses point to why that represents a certain era and there isn't with him because he's all over the place 20 the 2000s you just go this is his most successful period but it doesn't feel like there's a instrumental shift in the way he was making movies. Well, there is and there isn't.

I mean, he's getting more studio attention after he makes out a site. It's just weird. Anyway, I'd love to do him. It just would be hard. Well, maybe someday. Put it on the books. We'll do him in 2022.

Maybe someday, exactly. Number two, David, you spoke highly of the AV Club commenters in the last mailbag. I don't remember. Maybe sarcastically. But do you remember the commenter memes about you there?

I still have to fight back the urge to call you capital letters. Sims! Yeah, I do remember. They ragged on you. Yeah, I mean, I think there was a lot of love to those days. A lot of tough love, too.

It was some tough love. I don't like comments. I never read them. You had to do recaps on Seinfeld and Simpsons, classic Simpsons, which were kind of thankless jobs because people were very impassioned. The other thing is though,

I actually also recapped a lot of modern shows that were also- Like Modern Family? Never did Modern Family. That also had very passionate fan bases that could be very mean. Specifically, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and True Blood.

Sure. Those are two of my assignments uh that were really uh they could be hard on anyone yeah and uh it was just i don't read the comments ever on anything there was just explain there was this meme of yelling sims when people were frustrated with your takes uh yeah well yes uh that was that was uh generated out of seinfeld and then it became one of the commenter awards was the Sims award for like most clueless review or something like that. Anyway,

you know, it was all fine but then my friends caught wind of it and they would send me every week emails of the comments they thought were the funniest

which is like I was trying to avoid them. So it weighed on me a little bit. That's like when people sometimes tweet at me mean things that people wrote about me on the internet and it's like,

maybe I don't want to see this. Don't do that. Maybe I don't like when people sometimes tweet at me mean things that people wrote about me on the internet and it's like, maybe I don't want to see this. Don't do that. Maybe I don't like when people insult me. I genuinely don't like comments and don't read them and I know a lot of people who... Especially now with Kinja, am I right? Very true. I do actually have a Kinja account. I don't, yeah. Because I had to to like migrate my... Anyway,

Griffin, what was your experience on the set of Night Moves? Do you and Kelly Reichardt still keep in touch? We don't keep in touch. I had a great experience on that she's one of my favorite living filmmakers her last movie was phenomenal that was the last day of filming the last scene so it's the end of the movie

you were working on some Night Moves I was working on some Night Moves it was a day shoot but I was working on some Night Moves but it was cool because that's the end of the movie, which means that the scene kind of has more weight to it than a lot of one-scene roles that you could get, you know? I've had a lot of people ask me what that scene was about because a lot of people find that ending kind of inscrutable,

but I liked how oblique it was. I originally thought in the script there were two different managers written, and I thought I was playing the one with Les Lines and I got to set and found out that they'd combined the two parts.

And I suddenly, my role was double sized which was very exciting. And I got to work with Jesse Osberg who's a real mensch. He is. And because

Because it was the last day of filming I got to go to the wrap party which was that night in Medford, Oregon and boy was it a fucking rager.

I'll tell you the best anecdote about it. Kelly Reichert, who has a very specific acting style she wants, in the least specific, least surprising, most specific direction of all time told me that I talk too fast to be in a Kelly Reichert movie. Sure. So every take she just kept on telling me to slow down.

Slower, Griffin. And then there was a part where you overhear me talking about something. The way it's mixed in the final film you can barely hear it but it's supposed to be me talking about charlie sheen having his meltdown that's what was written being like i don't know why he'd sabotage all of that you know he was getting paid good money and she was like feel free to improvise and add some more on to that and uh i used the term residuals and she called cut because she was like this guy would never know the term residuals and she called cut because she was like, this guy would never know the term residuals. You know too much about show business

to play this character. It's a good story. Yeah, but a great movie. I was really honored to be in it. I don't keep in touch with her, but I had a fucking

great time working on them. All right, Harrison Eau Claire, we got a lot of emails, dude. We're not even going to come close to answering all these to be clear, but let's speed around

like five. No, I know. I know. I just, I want to, I appreciate how many emails we got and we will try to get back to these we will try and do these episodes

once in a while like we have twice a year maybe Harrison LeClair asked three questions one of which was what's our minute black two pitch so we answered that but I want to answer his final question

I want to go off this why does David love Thor 2 so much for one both of us love Thor 2 maybe I love it more than you I don't know about that but we both really love it

I love it yeah still the best of the Thor movies. I agree. It's not as bad as everyone says IMO, but I just got to hear his take. That's why I wanted to bring this up because we both saw Ragnarok

and I think we're both on the low end of Ragnarok fandom. I thought it was fun. Because, yeah, it's totally fun. And I think I've sort of nailed why I don't like Ragnarok and why I do like The Dark World in thinking about both movies.

Stakes. Stakes for sure. Ragnarok has no stakes. No, because when you apply the Taika Waititi thing to it, that clashes with, and his whole style is fun, and the movie is just really entertaining and sort of joyful,

but anytime it gets into the Marvel, plotty, world-building stuff, it's hard to take any of that stuff seriously. And it's like, I'd prefer that movie if they didn't concern him with any of that and he could have just made not now comedy but as it is when you get to like the final battle asgard i'm just kind of like well i can't take any of this final battle is rough yeah uh the villain is pretty rough too as much as kate sort of going for it but that stuff feels kind of perfunctory in the movie it feels like he just has to get that done um thor 2, I think both you and I like

that it's a really good brother movie. I think it's a good brother dynamic movie. I think it's a great brother movie. Obviously, the dynamic is in 1 and 3 as well, but it's best in 2. 1 is sort of setting it up. I think 3, they make them a little too friendly. They don't totally deal with the weight

of how much bad shit Loki's done. You forget he killed Phil Coulson. Right. They've sort of just, you know, where I think dark world gets to this, like you're always going to be attached to your family, even if you hate them.

I agree. I also just think dark world is just unashamed of diving into this sort of Lord of the Rings-y kind of vibe. I like how much they own that shit. And like, you know, you literally will have like, you know,

like zooming in and then like on screen, it's like Vanaheim or whatever. They just don't care. In the beginning, there were dark elves. In the beginning, there was nothing. And then from nothing came the dark elves,

something like that. I also think Hopkins is like dialed up. Whereas in, in Ragnarok, he is just silly. Yes. And like the, the scene where Loki as Hopkins is watching the play in Ragnarok.

Loki good. It isok. Loki good. Is good. Loki good. But it's also, Ben. It's also the thesis problem, my problem with the movie, which is the whole movie is just like,

the whole Ragnarok movie is like, man, those Thor movies are fucking dumb. As I said on Letterboxd. And Avengers Age of Ultron is dumb. The movie feels to me like a Mad Magazine parody of itself. If you want to make your 20th Marvel movie just a dumb parody of Marvel movies, fine.

It feels like Jaws 3, People Zero. He's making fun of the sun's getting real low thing. I'm sure people find that funny, but it's kind of like okay, so you had your fun. I agree also. Malkith the accuser boring villain. We all agree on that i

like him uh i don't agree i think edgerton's fun in it um it's cool but the thing i don't think that film ever gets enough credit for one of the better final set pieces of any marvel movie them fighting through the dimensions and the wormholes rules is visually inventive is exciting love it funny love it good movie solid fucking movie next question oh we got one here about vaporwave uh my favorite uh so this is a real question yeah no it's uh it's from uh uh mindspring memories uh okay uh so i'd say check out death dynamic okay okay that's enough you know i think like david next question okay sorry waterfront dining yeah okay

okay waterfront dining what is this Pandora all the Valentine there's a bunch of questions asking if we'll do like live shows especially like a lot of people

are asking if we'll do live shows outside of the city I mean I hate doing live shows you don't like doing it yeah it's just not my thing yeah I would do it again obviously

like you know but it would have to be kind of like a reason we've never been able to quite adapt our show I hate doing live shows. You don't like doing it. It's just not my thing. I would do it again, obviously. But it would have to be kind of like a reason. We've never been able to quite adapt our show to a live show. There's that idea I have that you like that just requires more planning outside of us. We have to sort of grow as a podcast to be able to do this, but to be able to do screenings where we do a Q&A with someone afterwards.

Yeah, that would be fun. That would be a lot of fun. But right, that requires planning, and Jesus Christ christ we're we're like treading water just putting this thing out right but if we were able to like host a screening of say you know uh strange days at the metrograph and then do a q a with like angela bassett afterwards that would rule and if we were to do that we would release it as a podcast but there's a lot of planning involved in getting actors to agree to do things

with us and getting theaters to agree to let us do screenings that we haven't even begun to tap into but I think we've all liked that idea that's probably if we did live shows the way we do it I agree with everything you just said yeah I don't know it's hard I mean look we have jobs like outside of this show

we want to make this show for you guys part of it was for us to not miss an episode over the last year when I started a TV show and had to go to Australia if anyone ever wants right

if anyone ever wants to write like the history of blank check the Nolan miniseries that it's good and it is good it arguably is our best miniseries

possibly I think it's like or at least it's most consistent most listened to certainly and like when you think about

what was happening while we were making that you guys have no fucking idea and you have no idea what was happening you have no idea like you can't even imagine I do so much for you people

you don't even know he's such an idiot you don't even know well I do a lot too okay but I never get a chance to talk on this podcast fuck you you're muffling me

at every moment I'm gonna keep on doubling down on this bit oh god I've been to talk on this podcast fuck you you're muffling me at every moment I'm gonna keep on doubling down on this bit oh god I've been silenced on this podcast it never reflects my interests yeah I think we're okay one last question uh yeah um one last question

we've gotten some like really nice questions from people that are just like you know I like the show okay but that's not a question unless it's why do I like this show okay but that's not a question joe boen unless it's why do i like this joe boen who did our artwork the great joe great joe boen i have no answer to this question but i'll try to think of something what is the last toy you bought um best thing to end on really yeah yeah uh what's the last one i bought that's hard because it's some stiff competition I bought a Rex

at Disney World when I was at Disney World like from Toy Story? yeah but it's like a good quality Rex they never made a fully screen accurate Rex that's the right size

and has the right sort of material integrity to it it talks it's got the flapping jaw I was very happy with it it was a good purchase can I can I

so box this almost a merchandise spotlight you picked this as the last question. There is a line of toys that came out this year that I think is the greatest line of toys ever and it seems to have been abandoned. I thought it was going to be complete and they seem to have strangled it to death

in the crib, still in its infancy, okay? For the new Fast and Furious movie, Fate of the Furious, they released a line of toys called the Fast and Furious Stun Stars that are cars that come with like inch tall little figures of the human characters from the fast and furious and they have magnets in their feet so you can put them on top of the cars and roll the cars along and it's like they're hanging out on the top of the car but the thing that makes it the fucking best is if you push the tailpipe, the hood of the car flips up.

So it's like Vin Diesel's jumping off the top of a car. It's the best. And I was like, they're going to make the whole fucking cast. And they seemingly have stopped. We got Dominic Toretto. We got Tej. We got Agent Hobbs. We have Luke.

I'm sorry, Owen Shaw. Who's the Luke Evans one in his weird little flip car. And then the last one they made, fucking Jaman Hunsu from Fury 7. Sure. We didn't get Letty. All right. That's enough of that. We didn't get Roman.

I said that's enough of that. Mia. Okay, really quick. Declan Shaw. Someone asked me about my fashion faves. Yeah, yeah. Favorite costumes and stuff. We don't have time to get through my top three,

so I'm just going to say Mad Max Fury Road is the fucking best for costumes. It's crazy good. I don't like the Milk Boys, but I like the Fuzzy Lint gang. They're cool with the dreads. Tom Hardy has a classic motorcycle jacket. It's all dusty and shit.

He's got some fucking leg fucking straps and shit. Hell yeah. Charlize, also straps, goggles, and then the head painted kind of black. It's really fucking cool. Love that movie. Ben's reading off of notes right now. No, he might be actually. Alright, can we wrap this up? I swear to God. Wrap it up? You sound like whoever

costumed Charlize Theron. Exactly. He's got the wraps. Oh, well. We should mention the hotline yeah well i guess we have to add another thing to the garbage plate right last thing so we've now so we did right we did all our garbage plate rankings that was the beans avatar land i guess that was the the meat yeah uh the i don't fuck the potatoes were what we just did yeah i don't know pre-recorded audio yeah anyway it's a great episode

the final thing it's a great episode it's right to the top of pod mass uh huh come on guys it's the end of the year like we just

we're tired and we've also recorded so many episodes canned up months in advance we were like let's record one that comes out like fucking four days

before we release it let's do one that's relevant that's fresh it's so true fresh up but we have now set up a hotline obviously our Star Wars is also going to be very fresh very fresh but we're going to have we release it. Let's do one that's relevant. That's fresh. It's so true. Fresh up. But we have now set up a hotline. Obviously our Star Wars is also going to be very fresh. Very fresh. But we're going to have a lot to talk

about there. Yep. I hope. We're just like shitty. I knew hope. That would suck if it's just like, I don't know, it kind of sucks. We have not had a burger port in a long time. For people who started listening this year, you might not even know what a burger report is,

which is when Ben, David, or I would report on a time we'd seen a FAMO, a famous person, eating any type of burger at any point in time. But wait, I'm out of stories. Ben, are you out of stories? I mean, I've told all my best stories. Yeah, I think the last one I told was the... Wait, but how could there be a burger report?

Because we set up a hotline. What's that number, Ben? That number is... Can you look? I don't remember. We set up a number. And you can call it... What a fucking idiot.

I'm an idiot? Am I supposed to memorize the burgers? Yeah! Get out of here! 802-8-BURGER 802-8-BURGER. You could be blowing out the mic. Baby, you call that number, you leave a voicemail, you tell us about any time you have ever seen

any FAMO eat a burger. Evergreen. No statute of limitations. What if I saw them eat a salad? Get the fuck out of here. What if I saw them eat a salad? Get the fuck out of here. What if I want to leave a message about something else? It will be deleted promptly. This phone line is for one thing. Bagel reports? No! Well, that's the Bagel

Chronicle and that's a separate phone line. There's a beeper you can call if you got a Bagel Chronicle story for us. Alright, so here, people have been calling in and you can call in anytime and report about burger reports only. Only! 802-8-BURGER and we're going to play Burger Report. From one of our old good friends.

Our Blinkerecan. I laugh alone. We've invoked before who had a question on this episode. A great supporter of the podcast. Hope you're doing well and thank you so much for sharing this Burger Report with us. Hello everybody. This is Griffin Neiman. Thank you for calling the Burger Report hotline. Please leave a message with your FAMO type of burger and location,

and we will try to put it on the podcast if we can. Yeah, I have a Burger Report out here from Puerto Rico. I'm in the middle of my La Salon about eight years ago. My best friend's uncle is famous character actor Luis Guzman. So he went to a basketball game that me and my best friend played. And after the game, I was at a Burger King, and he came to a Burger King, and behind me was an Al Whopper. So that's my burger report.

I saw Luis Guzman, star of movies such as Boogie Nights and Traffic, eating a Whopper at Burger King. Thanks for all the love. We love you, man. That was the best. Let me say, that's a perfect burger report. If you want a template for what kind of voicemail to leave, good specifics, good context, I love they told us

it was a Whopper. The more you remember about the burger, the better. That's what I was going to say. The Whopper is maybe the best fast food burger. You got Wendy's. They make a good fast food burger. Now you've got your Shake Shack and good fast food burger. And now you've got your Shake Shack and your Five Packs.

But I'm talking about the classic change. I like the context of the friend's uncle. It was in Puerto Rico. You remember the burger and it was nice and concise. And also,

shouted out his best performance in traffic. Yes. Do you think that's his best? I think that might be his best performance. I mean, he's such a pro.

He's given so many amazing performances. Waiting. Do you know what he's weirdly great in he's given so many amazing performances waiting do you know what he's weirdly great in what school for scoundrels I've never seen that movie

he's really good in it when's he back is that the one I'm thinking of yeah I think it's that one anyway great burger report thank you so much for that hope you're doing well

and yeah please call that number he's in it and as always remember to rate, review, subscribe thanks to Joe Bonaparte for artwork Lane Montgomery for a theme song and for Gudo But yeah, please call that number. He's in it. And as always, remember to rate, review, subscribe. Thanks to Joe Bone and Pat Rounds for artwork. Lane Montgomery for a theme song.

And for Guto for our social media. Go to blankies.reddit.com for some real nerdy shit. Next week, it's here. It's that yearly tradition. It's that time. I can't believe it's here. I hear those sleigh bells jingling. Ring, ring, tingling too. Gonna see the last Jedi

with Ben and David and you. I'm seeing it three times in a week, baby. He's already got three screenings booked up in one week. And get ready for the merchandise spotlight on that one. The Porgs? I don't want to tell you what it's going to be. Porg, baby Porg.

I don't want to tell you what it's going to be. Hey, on the record, I think that big dude... Snoke? Snoke? It's not going to be big. He it's going to be. Porg, baby Porg. I don't want to tell you what it's going to be. Hey, on the record, I think that big dude... Snoke? Snoke? It's not going to be big. He's actually going to be really small. It's a projection.

The rumor I've heard is that he's big, but not huge. Fuck that. That he's like 8'5". Snoke! Alright. He's like big,

but he's not gigantic. Alright. We're done. Yes. We've gone for two hours at least okay great fucking thing and as always we haven't even inserted your friends how long's that audio it's five minutes i kept it tight okay good and as always pow i shit my pants okay great it's because of the mug