Blank Check with Griffin & David - Beetlejuice with Rebecca Bulnes

Episode Date: December 16, 2018

Friend and host of [Classroom Crush podcast](https://www.classroomcrush.com/), Rebecca Bulnes, joins Griffin and David to discuss 1988's masterpiece, Beetlejuice! But was this film nearly called Scared Sheetless? Is this Alec Baldwin at his most handsome? Does Rebecca want to date Beetlejuice? Together they examine the careers of Geena Davis, Catherine O'Hara and Michael Keaton, growing up as a goth snake girl and the greatness of pre-CGI Burton special effects and practical design. This episode is sponsored by [Brooklinen](https://brooklinen.com/) CODE: CHECK and [Bombfell](https://www.bombfell.com/check). Plus, big announcement for 2019: Blank Check is launching a [Patreon](https://www.patreon.com/blankcheck)! AND check out Producer Ben Hosley on a recent episode of [Classroom Crush](https://www.classroomcrush.com/episodes/2018/12/12/cant-quit-cray-with-ben-hosley-season-2-premiere)!

What are your qualifications? What are your qualifications? Well, I attended Juilliard. I'm a graduate of the Harvard Business School. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen The Exorcist about 167 times, and it keeps getting funnier every time I see it, not to mention the fact that you're talking to a podcast.

Now, what do you think? You think I'm qualified? He improvised all that, right? Or at least some of it.'re talking to a podcast. Now, what do you think? You think I'm qualified? He improvised all that, right? Or at least some of it. That's amazing. He improvised the Juilliard-Harvard thing for sure. It's so good. Did he go to Juilliard-Harvard?

No. Did he go to both? Beetlejuice did. Okay, okay. Now, I'm cracking out the notebook right now. Oh, for fuck's sake. Because here's the thing. Wait, can I just, before you go into here's the thing,

can I tell you the quote that you should have done? Uh-huh. Okay, you either should have just done podcast, podcast, podcast. Hilarious. Already. Would have been funny if I considered it. Pretty good. You should have done, you know I'm only truly happy when I'm podcasting. That's a good one. That's a good one. Don't you guys agree? Don't you love?

I do agree. Okay, so now I want to explain. I've taken out my notebook. It's my Incredibles 2 notebook. It's beautiful. Meant for children. It actually says sketchbook on the side. We're cracking it open. Starting it right now.

We need to set out clear rules because if any of us say the B word more than three times, more than two times in this episode, we're fucked. So David has one tally. Yeah. Okay. But as we agreed, there are three different uses of the word. Correct. You're allowed to say the title of this movie twice.

Yes. You're allowed to refer the character by name twice. Correct. And you're allowed to talk about the animated series twice. Correct. But you have to say the title like as if it's in italics. No, no. Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm sure. I would like to hear what that sounds like from you though. No, because I already said the character's name once. I can only do it so many times. We can all do it two times, though. Yes. The movie makes it clear. It's the same person has to say it.

Now, our guests, we're both performers, so we understand you've got to really make the distinctions clear. You've got to add some spin on the line readings, make it italicized. David is a man of words. You know what I'm saying? He's a man of letters. He doesn't understand. And we might have to like

get into some sort of like, you know, I don't know what the term I'm looking for is. I mean, I don't know how to figure out when you're using which. You gotta make your,

you gotta make your usages very clear. Also, I can refer to the star in the sky as many times as I like. That's not true. You can only refer to it twice. It's different.

Title, animated. Honestly, here's another thing I want to say. Another thing I want to say though, I think we can refer to the animated series as many times as we want because if we summon that thing, I don't know. We don't have a lot to fear. Musical counts for two. You know what? Yes. Okay.

Everyone gets a grand total of eight. Eight. You can't? Yes. Okay. So it's everyone gets a grand total of eight. Eight. Sure. But you can't say I want to only use one musical and three titles. Do you know what I'm saying? Of course. Okay. Yeah. You just can't do more than two. Hello, everybody. My name is Griffin.

I'm David Sims. This is a podcast called Blank Check with Griffin and David. It's a podcast about filmographies. Directors who had massive success early on in their career given a series of blank checks to make whatever crazy passion projects they want. And sometimes those checks clear, and sometimes they bounce baby. Wow. A miniseries about...

To be in the room. To be in the room. To see it live. We'll do it live. We'll do it live. Fuck it. We'll do it live. It's a miniseries about the film... This is live, by the way. This is live. We'll do it live. We'll do it live. Fuck it. We'll do it live. It's a mini series about the film.

This is live, by the way. This is live. Every time you download this episode, we have to run back to the studio and do it again. I don't know why we agreed to these terms. It's a mini series on the film. It's a Tim Burton. It's called Podward Scissor Cast. And I'm going to use one right here.

We could have done Pottle Juice. I like that. It's so gross. It's a dangerous line, but I'm towing use one right here. We could have done Pottle Juice. I like that. It's a dangerous line but I'm towing it. You're towing it. The title of the film that we're talking about today is Beetlejuice. So you're crossing one of yours off.

See here's the star Ben. It's a star. It's part of the Orion system. You don't know about stars? Orion Constellation. Ben's more of the Orion system. You don't know about stars? Orion constellation, I should say. Ben's more of a moon guy. Producer Ben, the ventus, the polar,

the haunt. It's one of the largest stars visible to the naked eye. Tiebreaker, fartmaster, fuckmaster, fart detector. I am.

It's so big that if we put it in our solar system, it would consume all of the, like, small planets, like,

all the way to Mars. Like, that's how large it is. It would take up all of the small planets, all the way to Mars. That's how large it is. It would take up all of that space. It's a red giant. I love red giants. It's not Professor Crispy. He's the fuckmaster. I'm sorry. A red super giant. Kylo Ben, Bruce Wayne, Kenobi, Ben Eichelon,

Ben Sate, Save Anything, Dot Dot Dot, Aayla Benton, The Dollar Sign. Right, and it's mass. I can't even do this math. Ben 19, the funnel maker. Don't forget. Benglish. Mr. Ben Credible.

Robo-Haz. And Eat, Drink, Ben Hosley. Oh, and then the other one. The Hosliday? Yep. Yeah, cool. Wait, say that again? The Hosliday.

The Hosliday. That is what I would say. Is sweaty? It's sweaty, yeah. A little sweaty. A little perspiration on Hosla Day. That is what I would say. Is sweaty? Is sweaty, yeah. A little sweaty. A little perspiration on the brow there. Glossy, my friend. Our guest today, who has spoken before we've introduced her, because that's what you're

supposed to do. Because you know. Because you are one of the most important supporters in the history of this podcast. Like a woman, all I do is support men. No, I'm not saying that. I'm just kidding. Booster. It's true.

I'm the reason for the season. You're the reason for the season. That you're doing shows. You're our Santa Claus. Sure. Ho, ho, ho. Because you're an amazing performer and podcaster in your own right. Classroom Cluck.

Wow. Classroom Crush. That's what I do. Classroom Cluck. No, truly, I don't know how to say the name of my own podcast either classroom is the name of the show i'm like do i have a list cool classroom crush is your podcast it is but you used to write for podmask i was a podmask girl living in a high-tech digital world uh you were a teen reporter pretending to be an adult. Yes, I was a liar.

A liar. And broke laws. Yes, I did. And you got us a lot of sort of recognition. You pushed us onto a larger stage. You know, it was my pleasure and I still do it. Do you know that I was literally at a bar last night, like literally on a date, which is disgusting.

Hey, congratulations. To be on a date. It's the only, it's the second one I've been on since I got here. Since you got to New York? Yeah. Because you're usually all about dating. No, I'm all about dating. Hey, come on. Notorious

ho, David Sims. Thank you. Yeah. There was this guy next to me at the bar who was not my date, wasn't older, married man, which is my demo, They Love Me. Cool. Somehow started to be in this conversation. Somehow this came up, and then here I was explaining what Blank Check is

to the people. So I still do it every day. We're going to see that Rebecca Bollnest bump. Yeah, you're going to see the Bollnest bump for sure. David, remind me, was your one usage for the character, for the title? He went to Juilliard and Harvard Business School or wherever he says he went. Okay, so my spreadsheet is officially done now, so let's talk about Beej himself. Because that's my workaround.

Yeah, going to go ahead and register a formal objection. Ben, could you note it in the log to referring to the character as Beej? And I will refer to him as my BF. That's fine. Because I like him. That's fine. That's acceptable. But Ben, can you note that in the log?

This is a new bit I want to do where I tell you to note things in the log. I like it. All right, hold on. Okay. And it's noted. Because in Star Trek, it's always like the captain's like,

you know, blow up that spaceship. And the other person's like, I object. And the captain's like, I'll note it in the log. That's noted. Because in Star Trek, it's always like the captain's like, blow up that spaceship, and the other person's like, I object, and the captain's like, I'll note it in the log. That's it. That's the whole conversation. I'll go back and check that log

after I blow up the spaceship. Anyway. That feels like the formal Star Trek version of take a picture, it'll last longer. Oh, boy. So, yeah. Beetlejuice.

I have nothing to add about this Star Trek thing. Which one was that? Title. Of the animated series. Let's talk about it. I watched it a lot when I was a kid. I'm sure I watched it before I saw this movie. Same here.

Truly have never seen a clip. Nope. And will I? No. Because it was... I don't... It's not a series that lasted in the zeitgeist.

It was an early 90s thing. Correct. But... Played on Cartoon Network or what have you. That was the big thing. I think both Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon

played it at points in time in reruns. So it only ran for like maybe two seasons? Yeah. Yeah. 89 to 91. But it only ran for like maybe two seasons? Yeah, yeah. 89 to 91. But it was...

Fox Kids and ABC. ABC and then Fox Kids. Interesting. But then it was in rotation a lot. Like I remember it being the show that would come on after the show I actually wanted to watch. If it was like Rugrats was at like 6.30,

then at 7 o'clock you might be getting a little beach. You might be getting a little beach. You're using it again. Yes. Even though the strong pro-tech We don't have it in the log. It's in the log. Hey Ben, is it in the log? Wrote it down. And right, and so when I saw this

TV show, I was like, oh, BJ is about like this kooky ghost guy who's best friends with like a teenage girl and they have adventures together. That's the whole premise. He is a kooky guy.

And then so when I eventually come around to seeing the movie, which is probably years later, because I think the movie was scary. A little spooky. A little spooky. I think it was like, I want to look up its rating.

Like in Britain, I think it was kind of- Not in, well, was it a PG? That's the whole thing is that it's like- It's violent. It's before the PG-13 era of like, that it was kind of pg not not well is it was it a pg that's the whole thing is that it's like violent it's before is it pg-13 era of like that that it was a pg movie that had fuck in it the word fuck yeah that was like a scandal so yeah you're right it's a pg that's insane which is so crazy should

probably not be a pg no um so So, not because of the fuck, because of all the, you know, head pulling and, you know, gore. It's a morbid movie. Yeah, right.

So whenever I was, I didn't realize that Beetlejuice, Oh boy. That's the character. So I'm done on the character. Correct. Was not all over the thing. You know what I mean?

Like, I was like, who is Alec Baldwin doing here? Right. Because the format of the cartoon is the Maitlands are not in it at all. Right. It is Lydia, her parents, and then the ghost with the most, Beej himself. It's my favorite. He's the ghost with the most, babe. I love that.

It's either, like, within an episode, like, she has a problem at school and he'll use some supernatural ghost magic to help her. Or he asks her to come with him to the land of the dead. And a lot of it is Lydia as this living girl surrounded by like the shrunken head guy. Right. There are a lot of other new original characters. She had sort of like a poncho. She would always be wearing this sort of cape thingy. Yes.

She's goth. Yeah, she was a goth. Beej himself wears the striped suit all the. Yes. She's goth. Yeah, she was a goth. Beej himself wears the striped suit all the time exclusively. It's good luck. And he's kind of like put upon. He's not a little stinker. He's like a ghost with a lot of abilities,

but he's always like, ah, I got this problem. I think Dan Castellano voices him maybe. Oh, I don't think so. Really? Let me look it up. Here we go. Burton did produce it. I think Dan Castaneda voices him, maybe. No. Oh, I don't think so. Really? Let me look it up. Here we go.

Burton did produce it. And Mr. B is voiced by Stephen Oumiette. Oh, wow. Oumiette. Stephen Oumiette. He is Canadian. Of course. Graduate of the University of Windsor, of course.

We know him well as the voice of Angel in the X-Men animated series but yes it's very much a buddy show I had seen that for years before seeing the movie and saw the movie and was like god I've already like an hour and a half in where's my guy when are they going to become best friends and go on adventures together

it is a weird thing a lot of people I've talked to of our age have said they had the exact same relationship. Because we're just a little younger. This movie came out in 1988. We were little babies. You may not have even existed yet. Negative one years old. Right.

And I was a little baby. Ben was a little baby. I saw the movie, though. And you were like three years old or whatever? Yeah. Really? I remember being really young. Yeah. I was like, I. When you were like three years old or whatever? Yeah. Really? I remember being really young. I'm going to say this right now. Beetlejuice and I are fucking best friends.

Character, title, musical. Are you friends with the movie? Talking about his friend. Yeah. Talking about my friend. And my cousin who's older showed me this movie when he was babysitting me one time. I was definitely really young but I was just like

instantly obsessed. It's always the cousin. Yeah. It is always the cousin. Freaky little cousin. And I remember it distinctively because this is like when I was like,

oh, I can fuck with my parents constantly and be like a monster. Oh, that was your takeaway? Yeah. I was like,

I'm going to be like Beetlejuice. Ooh. Okay. You're out of character names. You're done. Wow, I'm going to be like Beetlejuice. Ooh. That's it, you're out of character names. You're done. Wow, I'm really good at this. I'm not. So do you feel like, yeah, Rebecca's the only one with a clean slate.

Do you feel like Beej was the first character to encourage you to be a little stinker? You talk a lot about Clifford and that sort of antagonistic relationship with your parents. Once you drink the juice, go on. And by that you mean cum. His cum. That's a Bechdel cast shout out. Are we going for it? It comes dry scabs.

I want to be on the record. I think he comes dry scabs. They're chewy, but they're good. Oh, it's interesting. Oh, everyone deleted the episode. That's it. Interesting. Okay, zero listeners at this point going forward.

Listen, we've got a lot of things that are going to happen for me personally. This is going to be a very sexual episode. Yes. So just you know, hey listeners, just hope you're alone in a room because you might just get real horned up

by this podcast. You don't want to be on public transit. You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. just get real horned up by this podcast. Alright. You don't want to be on public transit. You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. We're blowing our horny horn to let people know this episode's going to get thirsty. So, Tim Burton makes Pee Wee's Big Adventure. Surprising

sleeper hit. They immediately offer him... Oh, I also saw this on a porch. And there's another porch movie? Definitely a porch film. Wow. The porch canon. There's a porch in the film. That's true. There is. A weird one. Nice wraparound porch. Yeah. Might have been

a den, but I want to say it's a porch. Okay. I mean, that's cool. Very different things. Den and porch. For example, one inside, one out. Yes. I remember it being cold. The floor.

Put on a jacket. Put on a sweater, please, young Ben. One day Ben's going to, like, at the Metrograph, have his porch retrospective. Movies I saw on porch. No, it'll be at, like, MoMA, and they'll replicate the porch. Right, you'll get to experience the cold porch. It has to be like an installation. Immersive theater.

There'll be like a ditch man nearby shouting in his ditch language. Ben's first language was ditch language. Oh, please. I'm aware. It took a while for me to learn. You get him drunk enough, he regresses back to it. Yeah, it comes out. Ding dong.

Ding dong. Oh, into the door. Hey, come on. Okay. Okay. There's nothing oh my god some kind of floating sheets cool floating sheets it's usually a ghost i mean feel these these are like kind of like buttery like hotel grade sheets oh yeah these are really soft these are luxe sheets Griffin it's me Adam Maitland and it's me Barbara Maitland

oh my god David it's the Maitlands from Beetlejuice but they've upgraded their sheets I could have sworn that was Albert Brooks it's not it's me Adam Maitland. Well, they... And this is a very accurate impression of Barbara Maitland. Sure. Geena Davis. Yes. Well, you guys love your sheets. Sheets are very important to the experience for you guys.

We do. We tried to use them to scare the Dietzes, but it didn't work. And it seems like you've upgraded. That was the problem. The Dietzes are elitists. We needed some fancy sheets. They wouldn't even look at the cheap sheets. upgraded. That was the problem. The Dietzes are elitists. We needed some fancy sheets. They wouldn't even look at the cheap sheets. The thread count was too low.

But the thing about Brooklyn is, it's five-star hotel sheets, but they're inexpensive because they work directly with manufacturers. That's why we don't feel so bad about cutting the holes in them. Right, there's no middlemen. You can get quality sheets that are affordable, and they've got 20 colors and patterns. More than 20 you don't have to make a deal

with some sort of Beetlejuice figure Adam please watch yourself you only said it one time I only said Beetlejuice once oh boy Adam

Adam um well Adam yes my Brooklyn Inn sheets are the best most comfortable sheets I've ever slept on

so now it's time for your upgrade Brooklyn Brooklyn and.com is giving an exclusive offer for just my listeners. You can get $20 off and free shipping when you use promo code check at Brooklyn and.com. What do you think of that? That sounds like a great deal. Do you mind if I just say something into the mic here for a second? Hi, I'm Adam Maitland and here's the thing. My guest today wait no no you can't host a podcast in the middle of this ad we're doing an ad god these ghosts brooklyn is so confident in their product that all their sheets comforters and towels come with a lifetime warranty the only way to get 20 off and free shipping is to use promo code check at brooklyn.com that's b-r-o-k-l-i-n-e-n.com promo code check

$20 off there's no reason to be uh scared sheetless by these prices huh i get it they rejected that title yeah and they have drawn a chalk door on the wall and now it's rumbling why didn't they use the first door that they entered from? That's the ding-dong door. Okay. So, Tim Burton makes Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. It's a big hit. Warner's is in on him. David Geffen is in on him. And they go, why make another Pee-Wee movie?

We're definitely making another Pee-Wee movie. He's doing his TV show, but we want another one of these. But he had fallen in love with this script that Warner Brothers and Geffen had that at the time was of course called House Ghosts. House Ghosts is my favorite thing that's ever been written in words.

They should have called this movie House Ghosts. A very clear, high concept premise. There's going to be some ghosts in the house. Right. What if there were ghosts

in a house? A couple dies. They come back to their home. They want to stay there. They like the house. Right. So they decide to be house ghosts. New family moves in, and the ghosts can't figure out how to scare the people out of it.

Was Mr. B in the house ghost script? Correct. Now, that's what I think is incredible is no one describes the plot of this film that way. But that is the plot of this movie. Of course it's the plot of this movie. And then Mr. B is one element of it. Sure. I mean like he's like the seventh lead. Correct.

If that. He gets the and. Yeah he gets the and. He deserves the and. He's a very and. He's the epitome of an and. Right. But in the process of like developing this film they're like well the title's bad. It's not the most arresting I like House Ghosts. Right. But so they kept on going through different titles.

Scared Sheetless was one of them. Hilarious. Isn't Scared Sheetless the one that Burton suggested as a joke? And they were like, hmm, yeah, that's good. Just such an older white person thing to be like, hey, wait a minute. Now that's funny. It's like, get a life. Until they finally came up with calling the movie by the name of this character,

who then becomes the title character. But he's kind of like Jaws, you know? Sure. Like, the movie's not about him. It's about the looming threat of him. Sort of. By giving him the title position, the movie really tips its hand to making him feel so epic.

I mean, he is freaking epic, though, bro. But no, but that's what I find so fascinating about it because it's like placing him as the title character mythologizes him before you even start watching the movie. Yeah. And then he's like prime position on the poster. And you're like, give me that guy. Give me that crusty guy.

I gotta find him. But of course he reads the script and he goes, I know exactly who I want to play the ghost with the most himself, Sammy Davis Jr. Yep. Duh. Fights very hard for it. Warner Brothers is like, are you

fucking kidding me? How old is Sammy Davis Jr. at this point? 70? Dead. Not dead. Because he's a ghost and they're like, okay, I got an idea. Could have saved money on effects and makeup. He's only 60.

Really? Yeah, because he died at the age of 64. Jeez. He was an old 64. Yeah. I take it back. Yeah.

Joke is bad. Yeah. R.I.P. I love Sammy Davis Jr. You like Sammy? Of course. Tell me a favorite Sammy Davis Jr. You like Sammy? Of course. Tell me a favorite Sammy tune. A favorite Sammy tune?

No, I like him in like Ocean's Eleven and like on the roasts and shit. He's always talking about how Jewish he is. That's true. That's why I love Sammy Davis Jr. I thought you were a fan of the music. I thought we were going to get some crooning from David. I don't know if I could name a song of his. Because he was more like, he would sing like the standards, right?

Like he would come out and he'd hit you with the classics. I don't know. What kind of classics, David? Give us a little taste. I'm just going to try to get David to sing. Oh, I'm not going to sing. That's what you're going for. You're a drubble.

I just found something insane here in the INDB trivia. The original script was a horror film. Oh, yeah. And featured Mr. Goose, my edit there, as a winged reptilian demon who transformed into a small Middle Eastern man to interact with the Maitlands and the Deets. Yes, I knew the small Middle Eastern man detail. Like it was going to be like a guy with a fez. Hold on.

We're just starting the roller coaster ride here. Lydia was a minor character with her six-year-old sister, Kathy, being the Dietz child able to see the maitlands. Mr. Goose's goal was to kill the Dietzes rather than frighten them away

and included sequences where he mauled Kathy in the form of a rabid squirrel and tried to rape Lydia. Well, I mean, he's, you know, he's got that vibe in this movie. I mean, he's got that vibe in this movie. I mean, he's predatory.

Can I say that literally his introduction, not including the commercial, like when we really see him interact with someone for the first time, is him like fully sexually assaulted. He's like, cool, surprise kiss. But Michael McDowell, one of the writers, he's like a Paul Parr writer. Yeah. You know. But Michael McDowell one of the one of the writers he's like a Paul Parr writer. Yeah. So he probably wrote kind of a fucked up thing.

And you're like that is a good high concept hook is like okay so it's a movie from the perspective of the ghosts kind of trying to scare

the people out of the house. Yeah. The goose with the moose is that anything? Yeah. No that's definitely something that is 100% something. Okay I'm glad I said it.

Go on. I'm still I'm still weighing whether that's something I'm gonna put that in the log yeah put that right in the log but I think it is use the highlighter too it's one of these weird scripts that like went through the ringer and kept on getting transformed and oftentimes that like is a nightmare in Hollywood where like there's the famous story of like the guy sells what was it called Nottingham for like two million dollars to Universal that was like is that a Robin Hood thing right and it was like here's the premise it's a movie from the perspective of the sheriff of Nottingham and Robin Hood's the bad guy and Hollywood went crazy for this fucking script and they were like here's the thing. Christian Bale's going to play Robin Hood.

I vaguely remember this. Russell Crowe's going to play the Sheriff of Nottingham. Then Russell Crowe got Ridley Scott to sign on. Then they started rewriting the script and they were like,

actually, what if it's just Robin Hood? Right. Because I think Ridley Scott came aboard and was like, let's just do a war movie. Let's just do Robin Hood. But it was like,

I love war. They had spent like $2 million for a concept that they completely threw out. And also because it's like, that's not worth $2 million. Someone just make a movie about the villain instead of the hero. Sure, but it's just

one of those. That's pretty twisted. Apparently, no. It is a little twisted. There was a full draft that I think was supposed to be good, you know? Sure, that's fine. They didn't just pay for the concept. It'd be better, though, if someone just came in and was like, Robin Hood always fights the Sheriff of Nottingham. We all know this. Slide.

What if he's a little stinker? I'm going to break the record for how many times I can say a little stinker. Imagine you're the sheriff of Nottingham. You're trying to be a sheriff. You're collecting the taxes. You're running a municipality here. And this jerk Robin Hood living in a forest. You're just a workaday Joe.

He's coming in raiding. Clocking in, clocking out, nine to five, trying to take from the poor, give to the rich, as you do. Look, it's a broken system, but systems have to be respected. And have you seen this guy, Little John? He's not even little. He's gigantic. He's big. These people are liars.

They're liars. They're committing three crimes. Robbery, fraud, vigilantism. The mainstream media is trying to tell you that capitalism is bad. That just because we have money, we're the bad guys. Boy, oh boy. What a great movie. Maybe Robin Hood is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

Maybe that's like who she... She's Robin Hood? Yeah. Okay, we're getting political. You know what I'm saying? This is crazy. And maybe like that's my new take on Robin Hood is like, actually like Mitch McConnell is the sheriff of Nottingham.

Oh my God. Yeah, and we don't like him. I'm glad that you took a sip there to reset so we can just move on. Hard reset and Ben, start the episode now. But the script sort of evolves, and I think Burton latches onto the premise. And obviously, as a guy who loves sort of like gonzo, supernatural. It's got this world he can represent, you know,

the world of the dead, right? And this is the first time that he really gets to do his thing of the juxtaposition between like the very kitschy, suburban, sort of 1950s style aesthetic, you know, which he's doing in a more naturalistic kind of way in this movie. Yeah. You know, the Maitlands are very much like a kind of 50s couple, even though the movie takes place in the 80s. Oh God, they're so dumb. Right. And then his sort of gonzo, like full visual extremism kind of thing.

A couple of things i want to note yeah the original script was mcdowell only okay and he had written an episode of alfred hitchcock presents that tim burton had directed the jar the jar starring griffin dunn griffin dunn which was then i think him trying to get burton hired on for after hours came out of that right so like maybe that was also part of the connection, but Burton fires McDowell and replaces him with Warren Skarin. Okay. So, I guess Warren Skarin

revamps it to make it more comedic. Right. And you know what's so crazy is that his name's Skarin, and, you know, there's a little there's some Skarin here. There is some Skarin going on. It's a group, I mean, for all I know, his name is, like, Skarin. Who produced this movie? Rupert Spookin?

No, it's Larry Wilson. Warren Skaran who also wrote Batman. Yes. Or a co-writer with Sam Hamm. So you pointed out to me, I didn't realize, this is Alec Baldwin's literally his second

movie ever. It's his second credit. I will triple check that. After doing TV, after doing soap operas. Yeah, he'd been in Knott's Landing. He'd been on stage. Yeah. He'd only retired from public life at that point like six or seven times.

Six or seven times. Right. It is. So basically, in 1987, he's in Forever Lulu in a supporting role, whatever that is. She's never going to stop being Lulu. Here's his 1988. He has five movies. Jesus Christ.

So he was the Jude Law of his time. Yes. One of our finest actors. So he's a supporting role, and he's supporting in all of these except for Beetlejuice, honestly. That's the title. I know, but you got one in that column. I just want you to know you have a total of four. Yeah.

Okay. Beetlejuice. That's the musical I'm referring to. Jesus Christ. Okay, five. All right. So he was in She's Having a Baby. She is?

Which is very good in a small part. He's quite good. It's a Kevin Bacon, Elizabeth McGovern. He's in Married to the Mob, which is hilarious. And he gets murdered very fast, but he's very funny. And he's so sexy in that movie. Super sexy. So confident.

I remember like my dad telling me like that was the moment. You would love this movie. Oh, oh, yeah. Some boys. But also it's just like a lot of toad. A lot of like it's it's great. But I watch it. I will probably go gaga for Modine in that movie.

Sure. He's got like a whole contraption he uses to like put on his clothes every morning. OK, he's freaky.ie a whole contraption he uses to like put on his clothes every morning okay he's freaky it's a great movie um but that's he's really like fucking sexy he's got a lot of charisma in that movie it's a really strong supporting part okay noted put it in the log he's in working girl which he also has a supporting role in uh he's in talk radio uh which is a great uh the oliver stone bigos movie, which he's like sort of the second lead in. And he's in this movie. This movie. Called Beetlejuice. I just wanted to get my, you know, get in it.

Fair. And he's first build. First build. He is the lead of this movie, which no one remembers. Which is crazy because his performance is like 60% ass. Like his ass. Did you not notice this? How his ass is just like on display.

His tight butt in those. He looks amazing. He looks so good. He's got the light hair, which you don't really see on Alec Baldwin much. He's so sexy in this. It's the glasses too. The glasses are so great. Because in this period where he is like

ungodly beautiful, right? Yeah. Good looking guy. Very often he's playing this sort of like greasy McKeesmo thing. Like, you know, married to the mob. A little too slick. A little bit like. How did his head.

Get so wide. It's crazy. Steroids. You know, it's like Barry Bonds. Like he just sort of. Ving Rhames. He was dosing. Like your head, your ears, like things grow.

But it's like, it's his though grew wider. No, this phenomenon has happened to me twice so like i grew up you know obviously greece was one of my favorite movies and like did you know he is beautiful that movie and then i i at some point just like saw um oh my god now i don't even what's his name john travolta there we go yeah i just don't know who john travolta is no i remember seeing him in like later stuff i'm, what happened to his head slash face? When did his eyeballs get fat? Same thing happened with Baldwin.

But also, because when I watched this movie, I was so swept up in the sexual charisma of Beetlejuice, I didn't like not... Oh, no. No, it's fine. It's fine. You only got two. It's okay.

I just want to say I'm currently in the loop. No, but when I was young... Wait, it's a race? Listen, when I was young, I truly did not even notice that Alec Baldwin is hot in this. And then it only took me watching it later as more of an adult to be like, oh. Because I was always like, I don't get the Alec Baldwin thing. Like, he's not hot.

And then I was like, wait, okay, got it. Yeah, I mean, he's rocking like some really strong like normcore. Like, Alec Baldwin is daddy in this movie. With the flannel tucked. Yes please. He's definitely daddy. But it's also I would argue

He's an idiot and I should teach him. I would argue this is the only time that he has really played a normal person. Like he's usually

doing so much and I'm not saying that in a bad way. Not over the top. No no I mean you hit me with that take last night. I mean in the hunt

for Red October which is not long after. I'd say that's the closest to this. He's playing a semi-normal person, but he's almost too normal. Where he's just like, look, I'm just a guy who reads books and knows about submarines. And you're like, what the fuck is up with you? Do you have like a sex dungeon? And I will say also, I think he's great in that movie.

I think Jack Ryan has a sex dungeon. I think he does. He's the best Jack Ryan by far. I agree. But I also think there is a little bit of the, and I'm not saying this in a bad way. I think he's wearing it very well. But the self-affected sort of like, this is my shot at being a movie star. I'm going to have the movie star swagger in this movie.

For sure. Because his hair is doing a little flippity flip. Right. Like this is very much just like a normal guy performance. He's not coming in with that sort of like, you know, that vibe. He's like, honey, you know? And then it's like, okay, we like that. You know, I've never seen like, I'm trying to think of, like,

I've never seen like, The Juror. What's he like in The Juror? I don't know, but I think at that point, like, he's very much like, that's like his version of like, trying to figure out what his Tom Cruise movie star persona is. The Edge is great.

I like his swaggering 90s performances like Miami Blues. He's great in Glen Ross, of course. He's amazing in Malice where he gives that Aaron Sorkin thing where he's like, I am God. Talking about being a doctor. I'll refine it even more. I think this is his only non-big swinging dick performance. Yeah, that's the thing. That's the big thing.

He becomes just like a... He becomes a confidence man. Right, and sometimes it's as like a scumbag and sometimes it's as your hero. Yeah, because he's like truly pathetic in this movie. Yeah.

He's not pathetic. He's a bit pathetic. No, he's not. He's a sweet guy. He's a really lame guy. He's just like... He loves his model. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's cute. It's cute. I can say now that I'm like, that's all I want, He's a charmedly lame guy. He loves his model.

Yeah, no, it's cute. It's cute. I can say now that I'm like, that's all I want, like a stupid, cute boy, you know? But like, if you're edgy, like I am still also, you'd be like, okay, this guy has not got much going on. No, he's got a lot going on. But doesn't he hate this performance? Isn't that a thing? Does he not like this? Isn't this his least favorite of his movies?

I feel like I read that. That's stupid. And then I'm like, okay, wow, you're basic. We don't really need to talk about Alec Baldwin the person because he tends to be wrong on a lot of stuff. Like what? Give an example. But I mean, it's true that we are live from New York. It's Wednesday morning.

Yes. You know what's incredible? I mean, this episode will come out a couple weeks after we're recording this, but they brought Robert De Niro back recently to do another Mueller cold open. That guy, every time they give him the shot,

fucks up live from New York. He doesn't really know what it is. Even though he clearly knows what it is. He's hosted like four times. Lorne Michaels loves bringing in for guest appearances. From New York, it sounded like He's hosted like four times. Lorne Michaels loves bringing in for guest appearances. Yeah, from New York it sounded like he always sort of joins in halfway through. By the way, oh yeah. Obviously like a great actor.

Maybe not super well suited to live sketch comedy. And just always seems flummoxed every time. I appreciate that he's game. I'm happy he goes for it. But for someone who's got a reputation of one of our finest actors ever, he hosts that show with the ease of Charles Barkley. And we love when Charles Barkley is on the show. Barkley is amazing.

But the whole thing is that he's uncomfortable. He's bizarre. I mean, that's part of his general TV personality. It's like a dog walking on its hind legs. It's very amusing. It's a skill piece. It's a skill show. Don't yell.

Warren's literally yelling and throwing his Incredibles sketchbook around the studio. Oh, man. I'm turning into a snake. You gotta keep tally. Um, yeah. Where is Geena Davis at at this point?

Because Tootsie and Fletcher, like, she's got these tiny roles in big movies. Another person who is just, like, at her height of, like of being an appealing star. She is so naturally appealing. Tall, big, curly-haired icon who I should be. She is a curly-haired icon. There is no question.

So Tootsie, obviously. No one in the history of film who has ever looked like Geena Davis other than Geena Davis. She is so specific. Except for me when I become Geena Davis. You really should become Geena Davis. I should so Tootsie to 82 and she's on

Buffalo Bill the sitcom with Dabney Coleman so that sort of occupies her time Fletch then she's in Fletch

then she's in The Fly which she's fantastic in right and then this year Earth Girls Are Easy does that come later this year she's got

Beetlejuice Earth Girls Are Easy and her Oscar winner... Wow. I think I already overdid it. No, no. I want to be clear. You have said the movie title twice.

You've said the character's name twice. You've said animated once. You've said musical once. You have one more animated, one more musical, and then... Use them wisely. Who knows what will happen.

Hell to pay. But she wins the Oscar this year for The Accidental Tour. Congrats. She Oscar this year for The Accidental Tourist. Congrats. She won the Oscar for The Accidental Tourist. So this year is just like humongous. And does she get married to Goldblum the same year? Because they're together by this point.

87. 87. Jeez. What a long, lean couple. So she is. Yeah, long, lean couple. It's true. She's like breaking out as a movie star. She's married to Jeff Goldblum and she wins an Academy Award. That's right. Yeah, long lean couple. It's true. She's like breaking out as a movie star.

She's married to Jeff Goldblum and she wins an Academy Award. That's right. All things that I want. She's the queen of Hollywood. Within two years, she's divorced Jeff Goldblum. Perfect. And then she goes on to marry Rennie Harlan and then they break up pretty fast and she married someone else and they broke up.

Like, she runs through the husband. She almost becomes an Olympic archer. Really? What? You didn't know this? She's got such a weird filmography. Yeah.

Because she took a long break and she sort of started coming back now but she also like she founded the Geena Davis Institute for Media Research which is all about

like breaking down the statistics of representation of women in media and she's been doing this for like 15 years. Like way ahead of the curve. 62. She's made 25 movies. Like she makes the movie if she wants to that's kind of

it you know not madam secretary what was that show called that one was called uh commander in chief that's right uh which was like one of those things it was a huge hit and then they moved it to some new night and it tanked within like one season yep but that was like oh gene davis that was your comeback right right and Right. And since then, she's worked sporadically. She does a lot of this media stuff. Well, she's in Grey's Anatomy sometimes.

She's in the Exorcist TV show as Reagan sometimes, which is wild. Very weird. But yeah, apart from that, it's like, you know,

she'll pop up in a little movie. She was in Marjorie Prime. Oh yeah. Which she's kind of bad in, but whatever. I feel like there was something I saw her in recently. First of all, that's sacrilege. She's never been bad.

Second of all, I think I saw her something recently that she was very good in a small role. I'm always excited when she shows up. Are you thinking of like In a World? She was in that. Oh, I loved that movie. Yeah, she's got a weird small part in that. We got Dimitri in that movie. Let's not talk about Dimitri.

We love. He's very charming in that movie. So cute. There was the Gina Davis show. She had her sitcom for one season in 2000. That was weird. Very weird.

What did she do? She was like a party planner. Yeah, because look. Peter Horton, Mimi Rogers. So you go like she's riding high, right? Then 95 Cutthroat Island was at the time

the biggest flop in history, right? Yeah. Directed by her then-husband. They get divorced. Then she does The Long Kiss Goodnight, which, at the time, was the biggest spec script sale of all time. So it was a super hyped-up movie. I want to correct you. Rennie Harlan also directed The Long Kiss Goodnight.

They only get divorced after that. Oh, correct, correct. But I think that was supposed to be their sort of comeback redemption movie, and it underperforms at the box office. It's a good movie, but it wasn't a huge hit. Need to see it. It's certainly Rennie Harlan's best, I guess. I don't know. Then she doesn't do a movie for three years until Stuart Little.

Right, and then she only does Stuart Little's. Right, then does the sitcom for one season in between Stuart Little 1 and 2, and then it's like she's pretty much done. She just shows up in little appearances. Consensus on Stuart Little. Good, bad? Charming. I haven't seen it in a long time. What do we think?

I think I saw the first one. First one's good. Second one sucks. The second one's the one where he skateboards. Yeah, it's radical. He's a radical root. I'm not interested. It has little in the title. Okay. He is also, I mean, it's not like a Little John situation where it's a lie. He is little. He is also, I mean, it's not like a Little John situation where it's a lie.

I mean, he is little. He is very little. That guy is small. He's regular for a mouse. Like lives in a matchbox and shit. Does he?

I think his bed is like a matchbox or something. I would have friggin' fed him to my snake because I had a snake. You had a snake?

Did you guys know that I like the movie that we're talking about? Yes. Because I had a snake. That was one of your entry points. You were a snake girl. Oh, duh.

So the other big career to talk about here is Michael Keaton himself, my favorite living actor. God, it's so hot. Did we all just leave the room for this? No, I'm not. For the Michael Keaton thing? I will keep it in the pants. I will keep it in the pants. Okay, thank you.

I mean, we're going to do Keaton two more times in this miniseries, right? Yeah. But Ben and I were going over late last night while drunk how insane the arc of his career is because he was a stand-up. Then he starts being like a sitcom guest appearance guy when that was the pipeline. Like, oh, if you're good at, like, you know, you're killing it at the comedy store, ABC will sign a deal for you so you'll get, like, two guest appearances a season, right? Is there stand-up footage of him? Yes. It's hard to find.

It's really good. There's not enough of it. I guess he was like so long ago that they weren't filming it as much. What's his style of stand-up?

That's what I'm wondering. Here's the joke of his that he was on the Norm MacDonald show, the Netflix show, was really good and Norm was clearly a really big fan

of his stand-up and said that Michael Keaton was one of his big stand-up influences and I would say his joke writing style is very similar to Norm MacDonald's. Performance-wise, and Norm was clearly a really big fan of his stand-up and said that Michael Keaton was one of his big stand-up influences. And I would say his joke writing style is very similar to Norm Macdonald's. Performance-wise, he's doing the Michael Keaton thing. He's doing that sort of manic energy.

But he had this big joke where he was like, I'm going to fuck it up, but the bit is… Better do it funny. Yeah, he's like, you know, I love Bazooka Joe. You guys read these Bazooka Joe comics? I got one the other day. It's really, really, really good. Let me read this thing. So the first strip is Bazooka Joe, and he goes, you know, hey, what's with the weather outside or whatever it is?

And then the second panel is, like, the character having this large existential tangent about, like, morality. And it's him just like rambling correct right okay hot it's really funny but the joke that norm mcdonald said is one of his favorite jokes ever is he said you know i was flying into jfk the other day we landed and they said uh just so you know the temperature in new york is two degrees and i, with degrees like that, why have any? Michael Keaton, you silly. I think that's a really funny joke. Okay. I can see him doing it and just being like.

Yeah, I thought to myself. He seems a lot of personality. Like 50% of the selling is. I feel like he's chewing gum too while he's doing it. It's that kind of energy. He definitely chews a lot of gum in movies. Yeah, he's got a lot. Like full 80s mullet. He's always got like business.

He's a very businessy actor. Right. He's one of the few actors where it's like he's that businessy. He's doing so much in every moment. It always feels justified. It always feels in lockstep. Which is like one of my favorite Keaton performances. He's doing a lot. Even though he's playing a pretty quiet guy

in a pretty in a quiet movie managerial and it's a quiet movie he's still yeah he still finds business he's very hot in that he's so hot in that movie

very hot I remember seeing that with my mom and there was one moment where he's doing like a walk and talk with Mark Ruffalo and we both started laughing

at the same moment and turned to each other and went he's still doing the Keaton walk like he's like Rosendo's come in with me. And he's like doing his like strut down the hallway. That's a lot of ass too.

Yeah. He walks with hips, baby. That's a tight pants move. That's a lot of men in nice slacks. Ruffalo, you gotta... I'm talking out of the corner of my mouth. I know. I should watch Spotlight again.

I watched it again like two weeks ago and I was like, mmm, good. If you say Spotlight three times, I'll let you summon the Spotlight division of the Boston Globe who will investigate you. We're really close. And they'll investigate me and they'll be like, okay, confirmed, she's cool. Right, exactly. They give you a certificate.

Or there's a story like, Spotlight reveals Rebecca Bones. Very cool. Very cool. So, he's doing these TV appearances right he's like

showing up in sitcoms and shit he's a cast member of the the Mary Tyler Moore Hour I believe right which was the sketch show

with him and David Letterman as part of the ensemble he's already by this point he's been in a lot of movies well no but this is my point so Ron Howard is casting Night Shift.

This is supposed to be his breakout movie as a director. He gets Henry Winkler to agree. Henry Winkler is such a big star at the time that they can't cast this other role, but the studio is so happy with Winkler that he can cast anyone. He goes to a casting director, and she goes, If you don't need a star, if you're just looking for funny, the funniest guy around is Michael Keaton. They give him this role, and overnight, he breaks out.

He's hosting Saturday Night Live everyone's like this is the new exciting comedic actor follows up immediately with Mr. Mom Mr. Mom where he's playing a little more of a normal guy

he's a stay at home dad and that movie's a huge what you call him Mr. Mom huge hit big hit so now everyone goes we love it the Michael Keaton thing

and Michael Keaton says himself in interviews I got really scared because I saw how I was going to be pigeonholed as this well-meaning kind of glib guy. So he starts zagging. Sure. And does a couple things that don't work well for him.

Well, he does Johnny Dangerously. Which is a flop. Which we will cover one day. We will cover one day. Amy Heckerling's. It actually wasn't like a flop-flop because it wasn't that expensive, but it certainly didn't make money. Especially for people coming off of big movies. Like Keaton was hot. Heckerling was hot. I think it was seen as a disappointment. Yeah. And Piscopo was, I mean certainly didn't make money. Especially for people coming off of big movies like Keaton was hot, Heckling was hot.

I think it was seen as a disappointment. Episcopal was white hot. Then he does Gung Ho. Another Ron Howard movie. Which is a movie that is borderline unwatchable today for how racist it is. It's a very racist movie. He's still pretty good at it.

Overseas automobile factory. What you're trying to say is sometimes racists are good. It's just one of those movies where it's like it's about a Japanese company buying an American motor plant and the whole movie is like you see now let me stop you here but Japanese culture and American

culture very different. What? And then you're like are we going to move past this? And they're like no and the movie's long he does he does a movie called touch and go that definitively doesn't exist but i'd like to read the tagline for it please the poster is him like the woman is trying to kiss him and he looks astonished he's like oh boy what is this i feel if michael keaton was gonna kiss me i would be her trying to kiss Michael. I would be just giving a thumbs up.

I'd be like, are you sure about this? I'm, I'm game, but seems like a weird decision for you. Anyways, with the leg up. Yeah.

Uh, the catchphrase for this, the catchphrase, the tagline for this movie is yesterday. He was a fun loving sports hero today. He's had his life threatened. His Jaguar wrecked his career jeopardized dot, dot,

dot. And now someone's trying to cook him breakfast. Okay, now here's the thing about this tagline that I like. I relate. Very easy to understand. It's literally got two paragraph breaks. That feeling when you are a sports,

but I can't even remember what the fuck he said. It's a classic TFW. Yeah. So then he makes a movie called The Squeeze that also doesn't exist. Also a good band. The poster is him in between, like, Twin Towers, and a hand is, like, squeezing him. Ugh.

It looks very strange. A mysterious black box spells danger to a con man and female detective. These movies aren't working, right? So he's kind of- Look at this fucking poster. It's THE Twin Towers, to be clear. Capital T. What is this?

So he's playing against the movie star persona that people like in Night Shift and Mr. Mom, and he's not finding success in something else. And Tim Burton wants to hire Sammy Davis Jr., gives him a list of a bunch of other weird variety show guys that he grew up loving, and Warner Brothers was like, you've got to cast a movie star in this role.

You maniac. Yeah, you have to cast someone who's like relevant to today's audience. He's like, but I'm a weirdo and I'm a freak. Right.

And they were like, I think we can get Michael Keaton because Michael Keaton is like an above the title guy who's a little like back on his heels right now. This is such a fun

showcase role. It's a good manic energy kind of thing. It's not a large commitment. Right. And they get him to Greedo, and he becomes the guy over the title. And this completely changes his career. Right.

Because he does this, clean and sober, in the same year. Clean and sober is great. Yeah, he's great in that, too. He wins the National Society for Critics. But he didn't immediately sign on, right? No. They split it in between. They say for both.

Right, for both. For the juice and clean and sober. And then it in between. They say for both. Right, for both. For the juice and clean and sober. And then he becomes Batman. Then the immediate follow-up is that he becomes Batman for Tomb Raider. The superhero. The famed superhero, Batman. But he said, I mean, this was the beginning

of, I think, Burton and Keaton being like, oh, we're kind of on the same page about stuff. He says, according to Michael Keaton, the character was described to him by Burton as having lived in every time period, but no time period. And I think Keaton latched onto that and was like, this is a performance, this is a character where I

can't be too big. Because this is the key to the movie. They use this character so sparingly. Every time he's on screen, you're like, this is the greatest comedic performance of all time. And he's never on screen for more than four consecutive minutes. It's so good. Yeah.

He's like truffles. Waddling around, just doing his thing. Where you're kind of like, wow, this is a very intense flavor, but I'm into it. And partially because of the cartoon show and also partially because of how good the performance is and how ubiquitous he is as like a cultural icon now. It's sort of like Silence of the Lambs where you think of him being in the whole film. Yes, for sure. It's all really just like edging.

It's a lot of edging. And then you finally get that sweet... This is a masterpiece of edging. Yes. BF. Yes. My boyfriend. The plot of Beetlejuice.

Let's do it. David. I said it three times. You are banned from podcasting. Oh, no, wait. I was referring to the musical. Oh, okay. Now we're going to strike that.

And so the plot of that musical is... It's going to be similar to the movie, I would assume. I think it's a little heavier on the title character. And Lydia. It's apparently more inspired by the cartoon show while having the plot of this movie and the two of them being like teammates.

And apparently the Maitlands are not a big part and they're dorks. But also, I was, yeah. They're like nerds. Like Danny Pudi, I believe. Pudi? Did it for the workshop.

Yeah. Is not doing it on Broadway. I did not realize that Anthony King wrote the book. Correct. And I, when I read that, I was like, good, I like. Because he's funny and does good

music stuff. We'll see how that thing, it'll be opening soon. I should be in it. I believe it's opening sometime next year, yeah. It's had its tryouts. It's going to star What's His Pants, who is already in School of Rock. Yes, his name is Alex Brightman. His name is what's

his pants yeah i'm sorry alex what's his pants brightman and uh this young woman sofia and caruso who's 17 and is playing lydia and supposed to be incredible i can pass as 17 i'm sure she's good you are 17 uh the reviews have been mixed so far yeah see what it's like when it opens up right away maybe we'll cover it in some capacity. Winky wink. Winky wink. What are the songs going to be like? I'm a guy and I'm pretty goth. Yeah, that's one of them. What if it's a jukebox musical? Beetle, juice, beetle, juice.

Beetle, juice. No, no, no. Did I use too many? No, he's saying them one and the other. He's putting a space in there. Okay, fair enough. I was doing jazz hands. Fair enough.

Fair enough. I was going to say, what if it's a jukebox musical and they just use the songbook of Blink-182? Because he does exist in all time, so what is his age again? So here's your holiday! They could do like Harry Belafonte.

It could be like a Calypso musical. Apparently Deo's in it. Well, I should hope so. And jump in line. I don't know. That's my pitch. Well I should hope so. You gotta. And jump in line. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. That's my pitch.

Broadway where's my money? Susie and the Banshees would be good in that too. So this movie starts out with another perfect Danny Elfman

character theme. A very propulsive like exciting dangerous sounding comedy theme. But also funky. With this amazing opening credits sequence that feels like this sort of bird's-eye overview. I mean, we talked about it in Pee-Wee, but it's again, Elfman, it just sounds like the character.

Yes. That's his skill. Right. He's so good at the character theme. The same thing as The Simpsons, where you're like, this is what The Simpsons sounds like. This is what the town of Springfield sounds like. You should have him sit down at a piano like Edward Cullen does in Twilight and be like, hello, this is your theme.

But then he gives us all a theme. Or like Jack Black in The Holiday. Oh, sure. Oh, that's true. It's his sound. The clown just goes. That's a better connection. Don't get me started on the old JB, though, because I won't stop.

So what do you think? Let me just lay up here, get some points in my side of the column. Rebecca, what do you think is the better half of the holiday? I mean, well, clearly, since I'm planning on starting a Jack Black podcast, I will say it's all about. It's all about. This barely counts. Thank you.

Chuck another one. That's like the Democrats winning Vermont or whatever. Yeah, well, we figured. You know, CNN's like, we got a breaking update here. Projecting that Hillary Clinton will win Vermont. Yeah. We're getting political on this episode. I will go there.

Okay. There's a door. Maybe there's like, you know, a line like, do not cross. I cross. Listen, it's Thanksgiving soon. You got to be careful with your family. Oh, God. Tough conversations with your family.

Except actually, literally, Cuban Republicans are real. So we'll see how that goes. Really? In Florida, you know. What's up, uncles? Had some elections. Yeah. Did they ever?

We're talking about it. Well, yeah, because you're a cool trail Miami girl. Oh, rock and roll. Miami. Yeah. Party in the city where the heat is on. Go on. All night, all day. well yeah cause you're a cool trail Miami girl oh rock and roll Miami yeah party in the city where the heat is on go on all night all day yeah you got it

I just like how quickly it goes from like cause the poster for this movie is like crazy ghost you know you got this wacky comedy star in it the score sounds like exactly what you expect this movie to sound like and then we realize it's a model town and now it's just two really nice basic people in an attic.

Sorry, David. Yeah, hey man. Your fashion stinks. I know. You've been smelling it from all the way over there. A stinky fashion. It stinks and it looks not so great. It doesn't look as bad as it smells.

But neither good. Neither good. No good. Yeah, look. I've been making an effort recently. I'll admit it. I've been stinking up the studio with my fashion, but I found a solution.

We got some friends over at Bombfell. I don't know if you've heard about these guys. I have. It's an easy way for men to get better clothes. You complete a simple questionnaire, and then you're matched one-to-one with a dedicated personal stylist. They don't charge over retail price. They have free shipping and returns.

They just send you stuff and you try it on at home. If you like it, you keep it. If you don't like it, send it back. They give you a bag. You reseal it. It's a piece of cake. And you can preview and edit whatever your stylist picks for you before they ship it.

It's a very easy way to get dressed in the morning. I think this is gonna really change your game you're a fashionista look you know you just you just fall out of bed looking well dressed some of us need a little bit of help so they have this keep more get more in each shipment so if you keep two items you get 10 off three items 15 off four items 20% right okay so you got plenty of time to figure it all out you can sign up for your partner if maybe you're worrying about how they're dressing and you know

they can figure it out themselves becomes unbalanced you know you can't look good and then your partner be a schlub they ask you all these personal questions about like how you want to dress like are you looking for like work clothes are you trying to step up your game a little bit things like that sure you put in your measurements you put in your preferred kind of styles they ask you how horny you want to

look um not sure i mean i don't really need any help on that front honestly so maybe i just i just skimmed over that sure uh i like you know, I just like how easy it is, especially since going to like clothing stores can be such a pain. And so if you go to bombfell.com slash check, we've negotiated with them

to get an offer for our listeners $25 off your first purchase. You just go to bombfell.com slash check. That's B-O-M-B F-E-L-L dot com. Then you make sure that you hit the backslash. You just got to check to make sure you did that. I mean,

you do have to do that. Right. But then you should also type the word check. Oh. Yep. And you know, Bombfell. It's easy. Opening clothes. That's their catchphrase. Their little tagline. Opening clothes. Get it?

I do. All right. That was crazy. That was the worst thing that's ever happened to me in my entire life. Well, please. You're being a little histrionic. I'm just guessing. I am commenting on it, too.

They live in Connecticut. Uh-huh. In an idyllic home. Beautiful, small. It's all on its own out there. My dream car. He owns the hardware store, Maitland Hardware.

You got to go over the covered bridge to get anywhere. Okay. Under. Always a little dog on the bridge. When I was young, I didn't get that that was his store and I always thought that he was going in.

But no, but I thought he like left money for someone and I was like, wow, that's nice. Sure, I always thought that he was going in but no but I thought he like left money for someone and I was like wow that's nice sure it's got that small town charm also the guy outside that's talking to no one is me I identify clearly with him and I like that he's not too

cutesy to entertain this annoying old man he's just like oh yeah you do it but this is like you got two very appealing movie stars he's setting up a very nice small town and you it. Yeah. But this is like, you got two very appealing movie stars. He's setting up a very nice small town, and you just get on board with them immediately, and then they're dead within four minutes. Yeah, then they die. And I think in the original script,

the death was more graphic, and this, they just, the car just sort of sinks under. It's a nice, like, because if it was too heavy, it would cast a long shadow over the movie. No, I agree. I mean.

And you got the cute business with the dog balancing on the other side of the plane, so it's setting a comedic tone already. Now that is a rascal, that dog. That dog is totally a murderer that should be brought to justice. He's got a long rap shape. They come back home. Yep.

Everything's normal. As a kid, you're watching this and you're like, oh, cool. They swam out of the lake. Sure. But they start to realize some weird shit going on. Their hand's catching on fire. What? Not showing up in the lake. Sure. But they start to realize some weird shit going on. Their hand's catching on fire? What? Not showing up in the mirror? Which now reminds me, when I see that scene,

I think of what we do in the shadows with... Yeah, what's the character's name? Is that Viago? I could not tell you the character's name. He's got the cup. He's like, ooh, look at the cup. It's floating. Oh, right, the mirror bit. Of course, always a good bit. The effects in this movie are so good they are

they're really really good they're good when they're seamless and they're good when they're not like both times you sort of love it and both the sort of seamless stuff and the super stylized stuff

age well they do but very quickly he realizes Barbara Barbara I don't know if we survived cut to

handbook of the I don't know if that's actually the cut, but. Yeah. Yes. They notice the book on the counter, the handbook for the recently deceased. Diseased? And he's like, you idiot. Lord had a read.

They're dead. They're dead. And they're now. Also, Al goes into like an alternate dimension. With the sandstorm. Well, they try to leave the house and they see the sandworms. Yeah.

I hate them. Which reminds me of Tremors, which I've only seen once at my grandma's house in Spanish. Highly recommend. A Spanish dubbed... Tremors?

Yeah. So funny. What does Spanish Kevin Bacon sound like? I know los Tremors. Wait a second. this sounds good. It is good. I do love, like, when you watch, like,

sometimes on, like, special features, they'll have the, like, oh, here's the bonus feature of, like, here's this one scene in 30 different languages. Yeah. And you hear, like, comparison, like, some of the voiceover actors clearly are like, I'm really going to try to sound like this guy. Right.

And some of them just 100% do their own thing. Teen Titans Go to the Movies was my favorite comedy of 2018. Yeah yeah yeah. Naring my eyes at you. Bought it on Blu-ray and they have like a reel of like the voices. You would get along with my 11 year old brother. You bought it on Blu-ray? I bought it on Blu-ray.

You should meet my brother. Coughing fit. At that news. You're gonna kill him. I had a coughing fit at that news. You're going to kill him. I'm going to correct myself. I bought it on iTunes because they didn't release a 4K UHD Blu-ray, and I thought I could get it in higher resolution if I just bought the iTunes digital copy. But it comes with the features. Got to have them.

Me and Ben are just feeling a little sad right now. 4K resolution for a Flash animated movie. Right. Isn't that thing made for like 18 bucks? Correct. But they have like a reel of like their voices in every country. And Beast Boy who like sounds like me is like, hey, dude. Yeah.

And then like half the clips are like, yo soy Beast Boy. That's good. I like it. The Israeli Beast Boy is really good. Anyway. Shout out. So they are now like trapped in this like home trying to figure out what's going on. And I love the thing the movie does, which is time is passing for them very strangely.

Sure. They don't know how long they've been dead. Yeah. And it's never really. We don't have to think about that too hard, right? Right. We know the months have passed. Right.

Pretty quickly. Also, the real estate agent is trying to flip their house. Right. They don't want to flip it. She'd come by early in the movie. Right. Pretty quickly. Oh, also like the real estate agent is trying to flip their house and they don't want to flip it. She'd come by early in the movie. Okay. Also, she comes by early in the morning and they're like, it's 645.

I'm like, you're on vacation. Why are you up at 645? Insane people. No, they want to fix up their house or whatever it is they're doing. I don't know. She shames them for not having a baby.

Yeah. And they get kind of somber. She doesn't shame them. She says like, right. It'd be nice. You know, it's sort of fit for her. And Gina Davis makesber she doesn't shame them she says like it'd be nice you know it's sort of fit for her and Geena Davis

makes sort of a sad face and she's like I'm sorry you know and you're like ah you get the sense that they're infertile

which is kind of sweet because the movie doesn't lay it on too thick but the fact that Lydia kind of becomes a daughter figure because then they're helping her with

their math homework cute cute but so the house is getting flipped. The real estate agent's coming by. And very quickly, the Dietz is by it. The best character in the movie, by far, Delia Dietz. She's the best person. Unbelievable.

She would have been my Oscar winner. Okay. She's exactly who I want to be. She also looks like my ex-stepmom. Shout out, Janice. Love you. I always thought katherine o'hara looked just like her and like i had also just from a young age watched her in

like christopher guest movies and stuff yeah and i just like have a strong connection to her and i think i mean the performance is incredible but also breaking it down that character like she fucking rules like she is the best i mean this is one of the areas where you go like this is why this movie is operating on a higher level it is just like it'd be so easy to be like here's the annoying

stepmother character oh no she's so good and she is such a like laser focused specific type of person what did she say that I'm like that I was watching it

I was like okay me she goes Charles I will not stop living and breathing art just because you want to relax I'm like okay okay, same. Yes. I love how specific they are, though.

Yeah. They're like this very, like, of the moment type of yuppie, like, with very specific tastes that Charles is, like, stressed out, quote unquote. Right. Like, you know, whatever. Like, Charles is like the perpetual put upon, upon like victim of a New Yorker comic exactly yes exactly but I also do like love him like I love their marriage I love like honestly I mean as a young person I was like oh Lydia's cool and I should be like that but like now as an adult I'm like okay she's annoying shut up she literally just wants to be Delia um And I'm like, okay, can I be an annoying, obnoxious art freak with

like a nice white husband? Yes. Let's say a nice white husband in a wonderful performance by acclaimed pedophile Jeffrey Jones. Oh! Yeah. Forgot. One of many creepy people we have to talk about numerous times on this miniseries.

Well, some people are pedophiles. I feel like send-up of artists are so usually bad. Yes. This is a great example of capturing the art scene at the moment. I think it's

just well done. And it's a beautiful tightrope performance from Catherine O'Hara who constantly straddles the right side of becoming too irritating while also understanding what's maddening about her

to like to Charles to Lydia but why they wouldn't like throw her out of the house immediately she literally wears do you know this

that she wears his sweater like as pants in a later scene and I'm like that is so sick and she's like gorgeous and I'm like obsessed well is so sick. And she's like gorgeous and I'm like obsessed.

Well, and the best piece of characterization for Delia in the movie is the existence of Otho. Like everything you need to know about this character comes from the fact that she's that close

to her interior designer who like essentially lives with them. You know what I noted? That like, I was like, okay, beautiful. Her lipstick matches his shoes. Like the first time you see them, I'm like, okay, beautiful. Her lipstick matches his shoes.

Like the first time you see them, I'm like, they are a pair. They are like, they just know. And also like Otho's just like lived a life and I feel like he, you know, I mean, RIP, but like, can you imagine a spinoff movie of just Otho and like all of his lives?

He should host a show on HGTV. Right now. Right now. Ghost Otho. I want to live in this kind of like house. Yes. The staticky kind of like pebbled sort of like, I don't even know what you call that. The weird outdoor patio thing that they

have that like it looks like a window. Yeah, it looks like a modern art museum and half looks like a german expressionist horror film it's so cool which is like the the straddling of the lines of like okay the maitland's world is like totally normal and the deets is coming and starts to become a little timber and heightened but it's because they are weird artsy people she's got her glued down curls on the sides of her head like she's so cool and then you get to the underworld which is amazing full. She is amazing. Unbelievable.

I mean, I assume, like, obviously she was in SCTV. This is kind of her movie breakout, though, right? I'm trying to think if she had done anything. Because then after this, she has Home Alone. She's in After Hours. Oh, right. She's really good in After Hours. You know, so I guess she'd been in some stuff, but, you know. And, of course, Winona Ryder is quite young.

Had done Lucas. She did Lucas in Square Dance. That's it. Right. And this year, obviously, she also has Heathers, which is amazing young. I've done Lucas. She did Lucas and Square Dance. That's it. Right. And this year, obviously, she also has Heather's. Yeah.

She's amazing. She's an icon. Yeah. Who brings us together as friends in the first place. That's true. Yes. We've talked about it

too many times. Too many times. Let's do it one more time. Great Balls of Fire, Mermaids. I'm sorry. I'm just looking at her. Looking at Catherine.

We both love Lydia Dietz more than anything or whatever when we were little kids. Right. It was like our first pop culture crush that is yes that is the shared yeah um david and griffin connection that no other person has ever had no no never i definitely didn't want to be her and she definitely is not the reason for my internalized racism but like yeah very very special when you gina davis is right here with her curly hair yeah but i like i said was a snake girl so i was like i am actually lydia but i can never get my face or hair

to look like that my roommate so i will struggle with this for years and there would always be rats in my freezer yeah same yeah i just sort of like love the the sort of like three tiers he's working with in this movie, which somehow he makes coalesce not only in terms of like the visual aesthetics of the different worlds, but also like the pitch of performance. Because you have like Geena Davis and Alec Baldwin are being like very naturalistic. Sure. Then you get to like. I think they push it a little bit.

I think they lean a little bit into like their white toastiness. Sure. Sure. Then you get to like. I think they push it a little bit. I think they lean a little bit into like their white toastiness. Sure. Sure. But then you have like the Dietzes are like mid-level comedy. And then you get to the underworld people who are like insane over the top. And somehow he makes this whole thing like gel. Good. But yes, they see the Dietzes moving into their home.

They hate this. They want to figure out how to get rid of them they try spooking them but they're ghosts they can't even see them sitting in you know

what's the image that's so good when they're like going through the house and Otho's like spray painting all the walls for what color they're going to replace it with

she just writes mob right and then they open up the closet and Geena Davis is hanging there yeah a lot of suicide stuff in this movie. Right. And they're both like, oh, my God. And you think they're frightened by the dead body. And instead, it's how garish their clothes are.

No, no. It's how small the closet is. Oh, right, right. Iconic. So they realize, oh, this isn't working. They can't see us. We're spooking and scaring. I'm standing in Charles's office with my own decapitated head. None of it's working. Yeah. So they read the book. They just had to go meet with someone.

They draw the door. Which I love that. And I love that then it's physical. Like the bricks still have to like move. You know, it's not just like an animated, like. Yes. That was one of my things with this movie. Cause I think I like asked my mom I was like when did I watch this probably

and she was like probably like seven. I'm like that's bad and she's like I agree. I don't know. When did you first watch it? I think I was eight. Yeah.

Yeah. And I remember seeing it on Comedy Central and it like was a late night like showing. Yeah. And I watched the first half of it and my parents were like

you have to go to sleep and I was losing my mind that it was like well gotta watch the film right because they were like we'll tape it you can watch the rest tomorrow and i had to wait 24 hours that disrupts the the the flow mom go to school like sit there the whole day being like when am i gonna get my juice that's what am i gonna get because the gotta get juiced the cutoff point where i had to go to sleep is when you're about to get merges from the graveyard. Oh, sure.

So you're right. We're getting these little glimpses of him. You see the TV commercial after they die and they're trying to figure out how to get through. Which is so funny. It's such a good parody of that kind of local sort of like huckster commercial. He's in his cowboy outfit. He's doing a lot of business. He's looking like a snack, honestly.

He's looking like a snack. He is a style icon in this movie. And I think because people are so familiar with the iconography of the striped suit. The poster has it. Obviously, the cartoon had it. The parody of it when the guy walks around at Universal Studios. And it's such a classic Tim Burton thing anyway is the stripes. He loves the stripes.

That's what Colin becomes in. Right. But he wears like 20 different outfits in this movie and all of them are great. And he looks so good. I love. Just going to look at him. He's got his weird scumbag taxi driver with a duster. And his like.

Yeah. His like bad stuffing of like a stomach that is so like, you know, like, you know that that's not, you know, it looks cheap and like campy and just, but he has such charisma. And I also love like how sort of expressionistic and theatrical his whole design is because you go like, well, he's got this like weird hair piece. Which he said was his thing. He was like, I want big hair. Right. And the scabbing along the hairline and all that stuff, which is like really detailed.

Then his eyes are just dark circles around his eyes. They just painted. I mean, it's the same as Batman, basically. Right. Just paint dark circles around his eyes. But they don't try to make it look like anything other than makeup. They don't try to make it part of his biology. Yeah, it looks like a costume.

Right. The stomach is obviously very stuffed. But then he also has the scabbing. The nails are very realistic. It's weird because there's so much makeup. He's got green splotches on his mouth. Right. He's like part like real kind. The nails are very realistic. Like, it's... It's weird because it's like there's so much makeup. He's got, like, green splotches on his mouth. Right. He's, like, part, like,

real kind of tangible, like, monster movie stuff. You can't even really tell what he looks like. No, and it's, like, half, like, kabuki stylization. Yeah. You know, and then he's doing

this weird, like, jambalaya of a performance where he's, like, combining every type of unsavory character in one. Yeah. Oscillating between all these different, like,

voices and. I mean, should we talk about this profound influence on me as a young person? Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'll say it. Beetlejuice, the guy.

Okay. So I like had just for sure like real, like sexual dreams about him. Hardcore. As a young person. And it's like truly I can think of like the three things that were like hot to me, like in a formative way. It is David Bowie in Labyrinth. It is The Little Vampire, which is age appropriate for me because I was young. John Hill and Nikki?

No, The Vampire, duh. Okay. Iuh. Okay. I'm goth. And then my boyfriend in this movie. The juice. The juice. And I think it's because I was like, why did I latch onto it so hardcore? And I think it's because it's the first depiction

of anything, any character that I had seen who's just so fucking horny he's really horny and i mean like he is literally a predator and is like constantly sexually assaulting people right he's an eternal demon trying to marry a teenager yeah yes and he seems above all else libido driven yeah like he wants to get some but i didn't know the difference at the time i didn't know that it was unwanted so So I was like, yes, that is good and I like it. And that makes me horny, actually. Yes, well, you're a crush monster.

Yeah, no, I can't even describe to you the weird sexual fantasies that happened just with me and him. Do you remember how actual, narrative of like narrative driven sexual fantasies? Yeah. And it was like all real crusty, you know, and he was just like a funny guy doing, you know, like his little dances, you know, he's always like kind of dance. Oh, yeah. Did he take good care of you or was he kind of a creep? Well, he was.

The thing is, is like, OK,, he's also starved for attention. He wants affection. It's true. He wants pals, kind of. He's very performative. Yeah, which I think I related to slash still do relate. I'm like, yeah. When he goes over, he's like, mom, dad.

He's got that theater kid thing. Yeah. And I could fulfill that for him. Sure. And he was still horny all the time. Anyways, still very hot to me. Beetlejack. He eats bugs.

Very upsetting to know that he is truly a predator, but it still works for me. Oh, I mean, it's a bizarre fantasy movie about ghosts. Yeah. And again, he's thousands of hundreds. He's quite old. Hundreds of years old. He's lived through the Black Plague 106 years old plague 106 I also would like to talk about the

influence of this character oh yes sir oh boy he is very punk he's so punk he's anti-establishment oh 100%

yeah he does he plays by his own rules he tucks his suit pant legs

into his boots yes he does there's a line where he goes you like it and I was like yeah I love it yes is suit, pant, legs into his boots. Yes, he does. There's a line where he goes, you like it? And I was like, yeah. I love it, yes. Very much so.

And just for me, I saw this as a young kid, was hooked, re-watched it a million times. Me and my friend, shout out Joey Beatles. Shout out. We'd watch it all the time.

On the porch. He's one of the ultimate scum bums, this character. He is. He's literally a bum covered in scum. He's the best. He's the best. He's the best. Yeah.

He's the best. It truly is, I think, one of the best comedic performances in the history of film. I would agree. Here's what I want to say, though, what little David liked about this movie. There's an afterlife with all these rules and bureaucracy and paperwork. You like this character. There's an office.'s like an afterlife with all these rules and like bureaucracy and paperwork. You like this character. There's like an office. Okay.

I like all the world building. better not kill myself. I know. So let's, let's get to the scene. I like want to know like, what are all the details of how this works?

Okay. So we're jumping in a little bit. No, we're not jumping in. Mr. Goose has appeared in the commercial. You see his hand trying to lure the bug in

so he can eat it. But we're pretty much in Maitland and Deedsland right they make the door in the wall and they go meet Juno who's their case worker

you have this great waiting room that's like full Burton that was also sexual for me because we have woman sliced in half I was like

she's hot get it she's really hot and then reception is also hot there's just like a lot of sexual energy in this film

yes I'm not crazy I'd say the only thing in this movie that like kind of like scratches a little bit is the joke that if you commit suicide, your punishment is you get stuck in a bureaucratic job. Which is, the implication is what happened to Beetlejuice. Right.

The animated series. Yes. Oh! Or whatever. Yes. No, you still have that one. Okay. You have one left only in the musical column. But right, like isn't that because he was

an employee of Juno. He was Juno's assistant. Right. I think I read that he was like that he tried to hang himself but he got drunk

and like couldn't do it right and then just like didn't, you know, it didn't like It didn't go. Yeah. And it was he died like slow, very painful, gross death. Yeah, that seems about right. Yeah, which also makes me be like...

Beetlejuice. Oh, I said it. Okay, in what context? Go on. Finish the sentence. No, him. Just like, do you want to talk?

This is my little young savior complex. Rebecca, I have very bad news for you. Oh, no. Did I lose? You've said the character name three times. It wasn't my plan all along, because now he will come and sweep me off my feet. It doesn't seem that bad to say the names more than once. Well, let's see what happens.

Another trio has completed it. But you get all these amazing visual gags. Yeah. Rebecca was just doing something funny with the cord in her nose. Guys, I'm a physical meat comedian just like Michael Keaton. Got a genuine laugh out of me. She was making her nose smushed with the microphone cord. out of me. She was making her nose smushed with the microphone cord.

You get these amazing like sort of like single panel comic gags of seeing how everyone died. There's the camper still in his sleeping bag with the rattlesnake. There's the dude who was at a fried chicken restaurant and the bone is stuck in his throat. It's so colorful like it looks

like it's so it's funny because it's like morbid funny whatever blah blah but it's so colorful and so like tactile for like a child. This is when the sort of German expressionist influence comes in really big. Like Burton is very influenced by like kind of

Dr. Caligari and these crazy angles and mad lighting and day glow colors even though I know that movie is black and white. Day-O colors. Day-O colors. But they want answers and they find out very quickly. Here are the bureaucratic rules.

You're only allowed to meet with your caseworker three times your entire like eternity. Yeah. So everyone's sounding like this is stupid.

You've only been dead for like three months and already. Right. They're almost frustrated. for you. They're like, can I talk to the manager

actually? There is one logic app which I totally give this movie Right. They're almost frustrated. That's white people for you. They're like, can I talk to the manager? Can I butt to the head of the line? Actually. There is one logic gap, which I totally give this movie. I'm not going to be a stickler about this. You're going to give it a break, but you noticed it. Everyone else in this universe is visually affected by the way that they died, and the Maitlands are bone dry. Yeah.

Oh, you think that they should be wet? I'm not saying they should. I know Ben would prefer it. Oh, that's true. They should be wet. He wants some trip.. Here's my thing against that. I have an actual plausible

argument. The wetness on the outside of their body is not what killed them. Their lungs might be full of liquid. But, you know, they actually drowned. It's a sort of a... I assume that's one... That's what Burton would say. Then when they pulled their heads off, there should be a little slosh coming out.

Look, the movie didn't have that high a budget. It didn't have a sloshed budget. I don't know. Ben is like in the studio meeting. He's like, what's our slosh budget? Negotiating the deal. Do we have any slosh funds? Yeah.

Five comedy points. I think that they were like, I think they were going to, they considered having them wet, but then it was like, that would be really uncomfortable. I think so too. And it would just, it would be really hard to film

to have to wet them down before every single take. But also, quite sexual. Also, like, can you imagine that bouncy Baldwin hair

just sticking to the sides of his face? You know? Kind of dusty. He's like, oh. The other thing I love is that I'm realizing how much, like, Alec Baldwin is rocking my, like,

perpetually wearing a baseball cap and round glasses look in this movie. Which you are now. Or whether I am now rocking his Beetlejuice look. But, um. And hold on one here. I got two. He thought he could keep rolling along. The title, Tally. What's going to happen? And hold on one here. I got two. He thought he could keep rolling along.

The title, Tally. What's going to happen? I do think one of the big comedic conceits of the movie is, despite them being the ghosts, they're the supernatural creatures, and they very quickly become the most normal-looking things in the movie. The house becomes so stylized. The Dietzes are so stylized. Their world is so stylized.

They're freaking goth. And they're just like Norma Korn. But this Juno scene is great. Sylvia Sidney, who was an old Hollywood actress. Yep. She's amazing. I love her. Unbelievable.

She has a slit throat. She's chain smoking. I love how you don't see that until later. You're like, what? It's a really subtle, like this is when he still had a very light touch, Burton. And was just like, I'm going to let you notice this at your own pace. I'm not going to cut to a close. Dark Shadows, which we'll get to,

and is also about a weird pale guy who is sort of a man out of time, I guess. And is hypersexual. Yeah. Is the perfect contrast for where did Tim Burton go wrong? This versus Dark Shadows. Right. Where you're like, why?

Dark Shadows is so obvious with everything. It's so like flat and like the design of it is so sort of like despairingly boring. I don't know. And this movie has weird emotional

weight to it. Like you actually feel for like what the Maitlands are going through. Lydia, as much as she's just sort of, you know, like a sad, mopey girl, it's like her pathos

is so strong and so genuine. She's so sort of morbid that you feel bad for her. You feel bad for Charles. I think I used to. And now when I rewatched for this, I was like, uh, shut up. Like, I think it's, I think I get it.

But I think she is also playing it so over the top so that we can be like, oh, God, you know, young people. Yeah, it's, right, a young girl in a phase. No one understands me. Yeah. Especially if she just opens up her eyes and notices that Delia is really cool. Yeah. And is probably into the same, that's the thing, she's probably into the same shit that Lydia's into.

Right, well, there's a connection to be made there but she's a teenager right her mother dies you think her mom's dead yeah they say there's one throw away line yeah

I forgot okay I feel bad for my dad her mom is dead she's in perpetual mourning yeah her dad is sort of she's utterly alone

right yada yada and she's obsessed with the darkness she is and she's she's almost nonchalant about how she can see these ghosts. Yes. Oh, that reminds me of my favorite thing that I forgot where they're like, I think we're ghosts.

Like they've never heard of ghosts before. Ghosts. I'm like, are you stupid? You know what I'm talking about? It's like early when they die. Yes. Pretty funny. Anyways, go on. No, the Sylvia Sidney scene is great and you get

the like, just the really nice touches of world building when they're going through the hallway to try to meet with her and they find the room for the lost souls. And it's like death for the dead. And that thing is like actually upsetting. the movie is profoundly upsetting

yeah like if you dwell on certain aspects especially I think if you're younger and you're sort of like death obsessed like probably all of us were

what are the implications of all of this right you could just sort of like watch it have a good time not worry about it yeah

but if yeah you know if you think about some of the corners of this movie never leave the house and there's so much that totally went. There are 125 years?

There's some sort of a time limit. There's a lot of stuff that went over my head as a young person. When the receptionist is like, oh, my little accident. I was like, I don't get how she died. Who hurt her? Like, she's pretty. The handcuffs were too tight. Yep.

I just love the world building stuff. I did too. I'm predictable. And I like how, like, the Juno scene is so quick. Like, once she enters, she just starts sort of ranting and raving to them in this room that they don't recognize. And as she's walking them through it, they come to realize that it's their home that's been renovated. And they've been in this waiting room for months and months and months right and it's freaking i mean that interior design man right otho done did it you know like crushed

otho crushed it i love everything otho is so good really glenn shaddock's is the same. Lydia's room with the shiplap, the painted shiplap, so good. The house is amazing, but the Maitlands have a very simple, very specific aesthetic, and there's a clash. All they still have is their attic because that's locked, although Lydia has the skeleton key. Parents don't

know, so they still have their model, which is all they care about at the end of the day. Their little model town. They are weird. They're weird town. Their little model town. They are weird. They're weird people. The Maitlands are weird. Yes.

I guess it's that Tim Burton blue velvet vibe. Right. It's one of the few times he doesn't demonize the normal people for being weird. Do you know what I'm saying? He just thinks they're weird too. Like Edward Scissorhands. It's like, oh, they're upsetting. Which is sort of my problem with Edward Scissorhands, which I don't love as much as this movie. I like it a lot.

But right. With that, where I'm sort of like the fable kind of aspect of it. I'm like, I get it. Like, Beetlejuice, I kind of love everyone. I'm referring to some other bullshit. I don't know. The musical that you haven't seen yet? Yeah, exactly.

Okay. There really isn't a character that I don't love in this movie and sympathize with in some way. Right, agreed. I mean, like, Robert Goulet, I guess. He's a jerk. No, but it's one of these movies, too, where it's like, Tim Burton was, in these early stages,

assembling such a good, like, rep company of, like, really good comedic character actors. Yeah. And it's just, everyone's fun. Every part is fun. He's letting people really kind of go wild in these roles. They ask Juno at the end of the thing,

what about this beetle? Don't say his name. Don't say his name three times. She gives a very stern warning. Used to be my assistant, went off the handle. Now considers himself a bio-exorcist, which I think is just such a cool term. Very cool term.

But what are the rules of... How has he been banished? Where is he? He's living under model. What are the rules of him? I think he's moldy. Because he's under the rock. He is moldy.

He's a moldy guy. But like, was he specifically banished to a specific, it doesn't matter. I think of him as a freelance demon. Yeah, you don't know what realm he's in. No, I know that.

I get that. I feel like he's like, like interstellar, like in the bookcase. Like he's able to communicate like through the TV. Right. He's able to be in the model.

He's sort of untethered. How did he get to this zone, I guess? I guess he just sort of escaped. Juno banished him. That's the zone he's in, and only someone can choose to release him, and she tries to warn him. But he can film TV commercials. He can possess the TV.

Yeah, it's firework. He's got to put the word out for his business. Yeah, so in the musical, is he on Twitter? Probably. We haven't seen him yet. I've referred to it a lot so i'm pretty sure two times yeah why would he tweet he'd be like uh he'd like tweet the denny's twitter and be like you up and then they'd like interact exactly and he'd be like actually

the denny's twitter is funny and then you'd be like he at tweets porn stars a lot yeah you know those twitter accounts where you like look up someone's like at tweets and it's like all them being like love those photos anymore. But guys would he follow me? Oh my God. You think? The B man?

I hope. That was close. Yes 100% he would follow you. He would have a podcast. Would he not? And he'd be like what's up fuckers? He'd just be like

hold on and he'd chew on bugs. He'd bugs on Mike. He's, fuckers? He'd be like, hold on. And he'd chew on bugs. He bugs on Mike. He's definitely part of the dirtbag left, right? Yeah, that's right. He'd be on Comptown or whatever. I don't know. One of these things, right?

Yeah. And he'd be like, I like the name. Me too. Fun. It's got cum in it. Yeah. He loves cum. And he cums dry scabs.

So June disappears. They're now in their house. Yeah. He loves cum. And he cums dry scabs. So June disappears. They're now in their house. Months later. We lost them? Lost who? The listeners? Oh, yeah. All of them.

They're gone. A few had come back. They chose to walk outside and be devoured by sandworms rather than listen to the rest of this episode. It's okay. They're just not goth. Just kidding. No, no. They're not edgy enough. I'm sure there are goth listeners. Tweet in if you're just not goth. Just kidding. No, no.

They're not edgy enough. I'm sure there are goth listeners. Tweet in if you're a goth listener. Yes. Definitely. Or if you went through a goth phase, tweet us photos of you and your Lydia phase. Yeah. And if you're gothletic, also.

Gothletic? Gothletic. What does gothletic mean? It sounds exactly like what it is. It's like goth clothes. That's like athletic clothes. Oh, okay. It's like drapey, but it's like clothes that's like athletic clothes okay it's like drapey but it's like mesh

okay so wait but confirmed or unconfirmed that Keaton like improvised most of this improvise certainly improvised plenty of his sort of monologue I'm sure he was throwing things in right you know that's his thing right I mean I you know there's obviously a character written but I think it was more of a traditional kind of schmoozer guy. And I think he just kind of went off. See, and that makes me think that he's a little weirdo. He's definitely weirdo. And a kook. Yeah, he's definitely a weirdo and a kook.

He is a weirdo and a kook. Yeah. Ugh. But so they're back in the house now. Now they have some tips and tricks. Their first move is, let's use the sheets. Hilarious. Lydia is in her room.

She hears the ghost trying to haunt her parents. She thinks it's them fucking, but it's in fact the ghost. She can hear them. And they're like, you can see us? And she's like, yeah, whatever. Yeah, I myself am strange and unusual. A line that made all our hearts grow three sizes when we saw this as children. And now I'm like, get over it.

She's teamed up with the ghost and she's like, I hate my parents too. Like, I'll help you with this fucking thing. So now they're like united in trying to make this thing happen. But nothing's totally working.

No. And that's another great thing about Delia that I love is like she ain't scared no ghosts no like they're like

going up to the attic and she's like okay ghosts come out she sees them as like sort of a nuisance like you know a bug infestation

Jeffrey Jones basically sees them as like a marketing opportunity yeah right well this comes later because Lydia is

telling them about the ghost stuff and they're like, you're ridiculous. What are you talking about? Showing them the photos. I can't believe you cut holes in the sheets.

Like, all this sort of stuff. And then they're like, we need to put on a big show to, like, really make our mark. Right. Also, I do think that Charles is, like, not a bad dad. No, not at all.

He's a little detached. I think he's, like, fine. But I also think, like, the commentary on him is so pointed where it's like here's this guy who is like very successful as like a developer right? Oh that seems so funny when he looks and he's like bad roof

or good parking. Right. He like immediately is like I'm out I just want to be relaxed I want to be in the country I want to be away from my career and he can't. He just sits in a chair. He's fetishizing calm but he actually cannot be calm. The second he picks up binoculars, he's looking at the town.

He's seeing the value, how you could develop it. Like, he can't be calm. There are too many fucking subscription flyers in the magazine. Right. That's a funny scene. Yes.

But they have the dinner party. Right. So they don't believe the ghost thing that Lydic keeps on going on and on about, which is when Delia says, my favorite line reading in the entire film, Kids, I love them! Which, that's the Oscar alone.

She's my Oscar winner. No, that's a really cool opinion. For sure. Yeah. I don't know if Winona is a supporting or lead character, but to me, I'm nominating her for Heathers anyway. So she's in lead over there. I don't know. And then Keaton gets a supporting actor.

Yeah. 100%. I have a ballot for 1988. Don't think I don't. Yeah. I do. Yeah. I mean, I see that line reading, but I raise you.

I mean, post-dinner or post-dance, Catherine O'Hara is like, who has more fun than us? It's so fucking funny she is the best she's got Home Alone kind of around the corner like she's ruling the school yeah she becomes like a big

studio comedy star like without being a leading lady unfairly never gets her shot at being a leading lady she becomes like a big second or third lead and then I'm there being like Janice my step mom be here for Halloween at being a leading lady. She becomes like a big, you know, second or third lead actor. And then I'm there being like,

Janice, my stepmom, be here for Halloween. She's 34 in this movie. Yeah. Right. So she, I guess,

I mean, I see TV, like, you know, she took a while to break into movies. Yeah. And she always like,

you know, she got hired on SNL and was there for a week and was like, I don't like this environment and quit. Which is so sick. She always was kind of like,

I only work with people I like. I do my shit. Right. Right. She marries Bo Welch after this movie. Cute. He's the production designer of this film, who's responsible for a lot of the formation of the Burton aesthetic.

A genius. Burton wanted Anton First, who he will work with on Batman. Yeah. But I guess Anton First was busy with something. He was committed to another thing, I think. Yeah. But Bo Welch, the director of Cat in the Hat, obviously. We stand Bo Welch.

We stand for a legend. Directed, I believe, maybe two episodes of The Warburton Tech? Let's see. Yes, two episodes. Thank you. Works with Sonnenfeld. Are you on the tech? Men in Black.

I don't know. Rumors. Yeah, he works on Men in Black. I mean, he's amazing. He's directed some of those Series of Unfortunate events Which is another

Sonnenfeld project Yes Yes Do you like that show? I haven't seen it I haven't seen it either Yeah I haven't seen it

But Doesn't even get nominated For an Oscar Which is like Insane Absurd Insane Only gets

It wins one Oscar For Costume? Makeup Yeah Oh Certainly it deserved which is like insane absurd insane only gets it wins one oscar for costume makeup yeah oh certainly a deserved win i mean this should have gotten every like score this should have like 10 art direction costume two supporting cast it looks amazing it's got a great score and it was a very popular film at the time it was well received but i think it came out in march which probably it had faded a bit or april 1st a bit you know it had probably It was well received but I think. It came out in March which probably it had faded a bit or April 1st. But you know it had probably faded a little bit. But I think

I mean this movie was sort of a mini phenomenon because it was like here's this fully realized vision that came out of nowhere. Right. Like here's this like perfect formed object that feels like it's tapping into all these things that were sort of like unspoken in the culture. Him sort of meshing together all

these different elements of pop culture and artistic styles and everything. Right. And this is the scene where like the whole thing crystallizes and becomes sublime and you're just like this is the most exciting comedy director alive is the Deo sequence. It really is. How do you feel about it? It's perfect.

It's perfect. I mean yeah. Who would think to do this that's the thing where you just go like how do you have this idea yeah it's like it's like a it's such a weird even just like a sample well hold up guys you know that banana boat song from the 50s harry belafonte right you're like winding up that now they're gonna have their biggest scare and then the scare is they lip sync a very well choreographed number. And for me, it's like,

I'm a dancer. And Dick Cavett is there. Yeah, Dick Cavett, Robert Goulet, like this is his like child of TV stuff where he's like bringing in all these guys he grew up on,

you know, in the way he wishes Sammy Davis Jr. was in the movie. I think this scene is what like cements it as like, oh, this is a movie for me

because like, I will love anything with any dance sequence in it. So it's like the fact that it's already hot and funny and cool to look at and blah, blah. And then we're doing a little dance. Okay. Yes. Who made this dream movie for young Rebecca?

And then the shrimp turns into Demon Hand. Right. And shrimpies do look like little demons. They do. And everyone in this scene is doing such a good performance of being super possessed. Hell yeah. My new catchphrase. Yeah.

Dancing excitedly and with their eyes looking terrified about what's going on. Like they can't stop it. Well, like the best that always made me laugh so much and is one of those like images that's ingrained in my brain is now, you know, okay, pedophile, yes. Yes. But when he goes black tarantula. Yeah, tarantula. Yeah, that's the funniest thing. So funny.

And like Otho turning the ice bucket into like a drum. I want to watch it right now. Yeah. Even though I watched this movie the other day and like have seen it several times. I want to watch the sequence you're describing. There's like the hip, cynical sort of like art scene woman with the big bow in her hair. And she looks so good. She looks so cool.

She's like a famous costume designer. Adele Lutz. Yeah, Adele Lutz. Right. Who was my friend's mom growing up. She was not. Did she stop being an actress? Yeah.

No, she's not. She's like a costume designer. Yeah. She's got a great look. But I like. And she can move. Knew my friend's mom later? Yeah, no, she's not. She's like a costume designer. Yeah. She's got a great look. But I like- And she can move. Knew my friend's mom. She lived in the neighborhood.

I'd go over to their house after school all the time. And then I saw this movie when I was like eight or nine and was like, this is the best fucking thing. And then when my friend's mom shows up, I was like, how did nobody tell me this whole time? And my parents were like, you didn't even know this movie existed. We weren't hiding anything from you. You sound like a calm child.

I was a very calm child. Yes. Mother! It's just part of that best scene. All of those looks, too. All of the costume, like, for the women, I mean, specifically, are really great. I mean, you've got that weird spandexy gold on the blonde lady. What's her fucking name?

I can't remember. Oh, yes. It's like a sort of two-piece thing. I don't know. It looks so good. I think her name is like, what is it? I don't remember. I'm looking at the actual.

She's just very bronzed, the whole thing. It's all great. She's the one who says, like, I didn't even know I could do the Calypso or whatever. Yes, exactly. Susan Kellerman? No, the reason everyone came over for dinner is that Jeffrey Jones has called them and said, like, I can develop this town. They don't know what they're sitting on. Right.

So he's trying to pitch them on this thing. And they're like, Charles, just relax. Be retired. We don't care about any of this. Right, right, right. They were just looking to have some fun. Yeah. Right.

Once the ghost thing happens, everyone latches onto this as a business idea. Like, what if this is like a theme park town? Yes. So they send Lydia to like go get the ghosts. Right. And of course the ghosts are bummed out because, you know, their awesome thing didn't work. Right. It didn't scare them.

Their performance was too good. Right. Honestly. Too enjoyable. So now Desperate Times call for desperate measures. They call in the big guy. Yeah. They say the name three times.

Sure. They get shrunk down to the graveyard of their model, and Keaton just throws straight heat for five minutes. He just throws straight heat. It's banger after banger after banger. Costume change

after costume change. Grope after grope. He just wants to touch an ass yes he's like constantly and the bit when he changes

into the exact version of what Adam Maitland is wearing and acts like they're both bros oh my god that's so funny

yeah and he keeps on trying to like end every note with like right right right and then kiss Geena Davis

he's got this physicality to him where I feel like it's just, his body is so, his butt is kind of sticking out. His butt's always out. And he's kind of like,

and the distended belly, yeah. He moves like an animated character in the way that like, in a Looney Tune, you can have Buzz, Buzz, Bugs Bunny be in one extreme position. Sure.

And then immediately switch to a different position without the movement in between. And he somehow can do that as a person. And he moves so fast that he's just like going from like one extreme pose to another. And he does it with such charisma. Truly he's

so charming. He's so charming. And it looks like he doesn't have bones kind of. Yeah. Like he's just like a fucking glob of a person. Simultaneously he doesn't have bones and he has too many bones. Like it's somehow like he's bending only in the wrong places. One of my favorite like physical things from him is when he's distracted by the Inferno room, the strip club.

And he's like, ugh. He does his weird crotch dance. Literally, that dance to the strip club makes me laugh so hard. And I'm like, he's horny. He's ready to go. They unleash him. He turns into an amazing stop-motion snake man. Yeah. He's like, I'm any. He's ready to go. They unleash him. He turns into an amazing stop-motion snake man. Yeah.

He's like, I'm a snake. He doesn't say that. That's cool and scary. Yeah, terrorizing everybody. They send him back. They realize that they can't control him. He's too much. I know.

It all happens so fast. It does. It doesn't work out immediately. No. Right. No. So they've tried it on their own. People find it too entertaining.

Right. They've tried letting the juice. Mr. B. Letting juice go on the loose. Sure. The goose with the moose. Yes. Sure.

All true. Babe. I also just love that he calls everyone babe a lot. Sure. It's cool. So now. I want to start doing that. Could that be my new thing?

Where I'm like, hey, babe. Does it work? I think that you could pull it off. I think there's a lot of people who cannot pull that off. David seems to not think I can pull it off. I think you can pull it off.

I think you can pull it off. I think you can, Will and I are pulling it off. Right, exactly. Hey babe. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Actually, physically upset. I had a bad visceral reaction to you saying that and I love you, Ben. Okay. But the goose himself is vanquished by Juno. Right.

They get sent back and she's like, what did I fucking tell you guys? Yeah. She's mad. Furious. Right. They're breaking all the rules.

I forgot a couple of my favorite visual gags in the movie. I love the guy in the office who's been flattened by the trucks. So funny. Who's on the conveyor belt going through the slats on the wall. What's his joke? He's like, how you doing? Fine. I feel a little flat myself.

That's like Burton defined. He will go that far to make that lame a joke. That is what Tim Burton's deal is. That level of this complicated makeup effect. For a joke that would be on the Lawrence Welk show or something.

Or lame. I can't tell. It's his weird combination of growing up on weird 70s variety shows and also growing up on like weird 70s variety shows and also growing up on like Val Luton horror movies. And he puts them all in the same zone at the same time. But Juno is now like so stressed out because she's got to deal with these fucking football players who don't know they're dead.

They roll. He bunked calling her coach. They roll. That's so cute to me. I always thought that was really cute. Like, coach, where's the bathroom? There's that amazing gag where, like, through her window there's, like, the blacklight waiting

room of people watching them. It looks like they're, like, the audience of a movie theater. And at first you think they're a still photo, but she just makes it clear to them, like, this cannot be. You cannot... Work harder. Yes. Oh, because then, is that

when he steals the book, Otho? Is that when he steals the book? Otho? Yes. Because they're gone. Lydia is so despondent that she decides that she's going to kill herself because she likes them. She hates her parents.

She doesn't get that. That means that's going to doom her to a life of municipal work. Right. Yes. And because the guy who is the title of the movie all right yeah because the guy that was just a little peek into what the musical is gonna sound like because he because he is like he's there like tanning and he he warn her right? Doesn't he say like hey don't

which means actually good guy that's it that's like the big weight listen my standards are so low I'm just like who will date me someone who tells me not to commit suicide nice

right because they don't resummon him until they do the... She re-summons him. I'm saying until Otho is doing the supposed seance. He's been vanquished. Otho has gotten the book. They've broken in. They've found the model. Because he was

a paranormal expert at some point in his life. Lydia's despondent and they come out with their scary heads. Right. We worked harder. Another amazing like Burton visual.

Very frightening. He loves his conical, you know, his sort of dog shape. Yeah. You know, that weird Franken-witty dog shape.

When he does interviews now, he talks about how he can't watch this or Pee Wee because the stop motion effects look so hokey. And what was incredible... It's a huge bummer that you just

told me. It's the biggest bummer in the world. That explains everything that is bad about him. Right. Because you watch this and you're like he's not trying to make things look realistic. He's creating his own visual style. And then he looks at it and he's like this is a bad execution of what I wanted to be doing because of the limitations

of the technology. And it's like he should still be doing stop motion in live action movies. I mean, I'm not going to tell the guy how to live his life. And maybe, yeah, maybe he sees and he's like, God, I wish I had CGI back then. But I'm glad he didn't. But the weird herky-jerky quality to like when they're transforming their faces and sticking their hands in their skulls and everything, it like adds comedy to it. It's also just like what the whole thing, like that tactile thing. Like it's the same things that burn in my memory of like them digging into like the cardboard. Like to get, you know, all of these very textural things.

It's a very textural movie. Yeah. Also, wait, the face that he makes when he, when he makes when Alec Baldwin pushes his face. He thinks he's put it back, but he's still got the Cyrano nose? No, but when they go in and he has his glasses and he uses his fingers with the eyes to look through the glasses to look at her. That's so funny. That's very funny. Especially since he has too many eyes.

I also love that when he's talking with his transformed face, the mouth sort of like flaps like a puppet. Right. And when she's talking with her wide open mouth, the mouth stays wide open, but the tongue just sort of moves a little bit. It like curls and uncurls. But they decide, like, maybe it's better if we all just find a way to live together peacefully. They go. They stop Lydia from killing herself.

They tell her, like, please, we would give anything to be alive. You know, don't make a mistake you'll regret for for centuries we're gonna all work together we're gonna come to some sort of agreement what they don't realize is the Dietz's have become craven

they want to commercialize the Maitlands make them their dancing monkeys yeah listen they're working so they hold the what they think is a seance

but it's really like an exorcism or something right like it's right they think they're bringing them to life but it makes them crumble in their their wedding clothes.

You're killing them. Yeah. They're already dead. That scene is so sad. It is sad. Like, Gina turning into a skeleton. And them just sort of, like, lovingly, like, holding each other

and accepting their fate. They at least get to die again together. Sure. Even Delia at that point is like, okay, stop. Yeah, this is too much. And Otho himself is also like, I don't know how to stop. Yeah, Otho quickly is like, yeah, I don't know what I'm doing.

Yeah. It's out of his control. And this is one of those things where you think like in a practical era, this one scene must have taken like eight days to shoot because every time they cut back to the Maitlands and they're more decayed, that's an entirely different makeup application. Right, God. You know?

Like that's like a different four-hour makeup application. Just for them to gaze at different makeup application. Right. God. You're right. That's like a different four hour makeup application. Just for them to gaze at each other like Right. It's like the American Werewolf in London transformation where it's like each of those shots took like eight hours to set up. That stresses me out. I want to do it. Put me in a movie. That's what Tim Burton's like. But Lydia is like Hail Mary Pass.

CGI Dumbo. I don't know. Hail Mary Pass there's only one way I know to say it you gotta bring him in you gotta bring in the goose yeah and one of one of the weirdest qualities

of this movie is that his name is spelled B-E-T-E-L G-U-E-S-E like the star we didn't stipulate if we could say Beetleguise

I think we can sure we can do whatever we want you can say it three times. Rebecca, you have one. Please. But the movie is titled after the weird phonetic way that he tries to get Lydia to guess his name. Yeah.

Which then becomes like how the name has written up in history. And then the funniest thing where he's like, and then there's the beetle. He's like, hey, how are you? That guy is hilarious. But also all that beetle drink. Beetle breakfast. Breakfast? You idiot, Lydia, come on. You need some steaks.

You need some tension here. I understand, I understand. But this is like, here he's coming in with his BD. Like his big dick energy. his BJE, right? Sure. Because from the moment she comes to the board and he's sitting on the tombstone, he's filing his nails. Right, he knows he's in it.

He's got the suit on. He's ready for action. He knows he's got it going on. He gets her to guess it, and then he does his, it's showtime. And America is changed forever. And then you're like, cool. I'm wet. Beam ramps up.

Here he is as a carnival barker. Sure. Yes. Like an amazing, amazing visual. Him slowly being raised, like lit from underneath. All the smoke in the room. His inflating arms. Yeah, that's good. He does his whole thing.

And then he's out of the suit. Right. Because he's in that prom suit for the wedding. of the suit right because he's in that prom suit for the wedding right he says like which is cute that's cute

I like the suit better but you're right you're saying like that's the extent of the stripy suit right he's in the suit getting Lydia to guess it

then he's in a variation of the suit when he's in his carnival barker mode with like his spinning like top head and then he's back in the suit

for half a second when he has his line where he's like, and that's why I don't do two shows a night anymore. I can't do it. Oh, also when he's doing the, when it's coming up the carnival thing, the top of it has the little Jack Skellington guy. Little face.

But he of course had made the deal with Lydia. He helped her meet a bride. I was like, she's dumb for not liking this. But then he immediately changes into his beautiful prom tux to make her an honest woman.

The fireplace turns into like weird Caligari door. Yeah, there's the weird minister creature. This also is why whenever I would play... Is that Tony Cox? It is. Correct. Tony Cox of Bad Santa fame is the minister. Bad Santa, he's the weird minister creature. This also is why whenever I would play... Is that Tony Cox? It is. Correct. Tony Cox of Bad Santa fame is the minister.

Bad Santa. He's a naughty guy. He's a real bad Santa. He's real bad. No, when I would play MASH as a small child, I would always be like, and my wedding dress is going to be red because of this. Because her dress is red. I mean, she looks terrific.

It's a great dress. Yeah. Because her dress is red. I mean, she looks terrific. It's a great dress. Yeah. But I like this is now like the dramatic tension of the movie is how do we stop the wedding? Just ride a snake and eat him.

Yeah, very easy. Easy. Right. His whole process of like stopping them from saying the name, the bit with the metal plate on her face. Oh, so good. I love the metal plate. Yes. That's my favorite. Yeah.

And she's like trying to pry it off uh baldwin driving the car around and trying to like hit his feet like all that shit is great until uh barbara gets uh you know vanished and rides in on a saint worm and saves the day and then she's the of course as we all knew would prequel to uh queen of dragons yes i Queen of Dragons. Yes. I see. She is the original. Game of Thrones. Becca sort of tilted her head and gave me a look like, I did it. Did you know? I was like,

oh, she means Game of Thrones? To all the bros out there, yeah, I've watched Game of Thrones. Wow. So I'm sexually viable. And to all the bros out there, I have still yet to ever watch an episode of Game of Thrones.

I'm bored, honestly, but let's get it over with. I mean, it's just fucking great crazy imaginative stuff. Feminism, because she saves the day. Yes. The Sandworm is also a woman. The Sandworm is a woman, obviously.

She like has lipstick on. Yeah. I love that. My second favorite sequence is right after this. What do you love? What do you love? Delia's sculptures

that have been so like She doesn't want to be killed by her art. Right. Become, yes. Become malevolent. What did she say earlier in the movie?

She's like, my art is dangerous. Me too. My art is also dangerous. Yep. But I like that once like the day is saved everyone can see everyone now.

There's that moment where they all kind of look at each other. Right. And they're like, okay, we can maybe make this work. Right. And then you cut ahead to the best domestic setup in history. He's reading the book, how to, what is it? A guide to co-parenting.

Yeah. Yeah. With dead people. I don't know what it is, but it's something like that. Delia frightens him with the sculpture. So funny. She's on the cover of Art in America. She got it.

She did it. She did it. She should. And the Maitlands are like her tutors. Right. She got an A in math. Yeah. So she gets to do a little.

She gets to fly. A little font. I got an A. Dance around and jump in the line. Yeah. Yeah. I love all this. It's just so much fun.

And Beetle J's. I said Beetle J love all this. It's just so much fun. Yeah. Beetle J's. I said Beetle J. I know. I was just reaching for my book. I'm getting close. Head gets shrunk. Oh, good.

Just a little, a little goose for the road. They give you just a little goose for the road in the waiting room. I love just. He grabs the leg. Well, yeah. Grabs the leg of the cut in half magician's assistant.

One last horniness for you. But also the bit him thinking that he can pull off the bait and switch with the numbers just know that shot of just like the guy's hand

just still in that position he just throws he doesn't even put it in his hand he just tosses it towards him I laughed so hard and then he immediately goes like let me see where I oh I'll be next

like immediately calls attention to it. He's funny. He's so funny. I want to date him. And then he gets his nice little Franken head. And he's like, wait, this is going to be a good look for me. They never made a sequel.

They had a sequel premise. They asked him if he wanted to do one. He said, I would love to. Here's the premise. Beetlejuice goes Hawaiian. Which I want to watch that so bad he just thinks it's funny I think so too

he said like I've set up this aesthetic what's the weirdest thing I could add to the universe in contrast and he was like the absolute opposite of German expressionist

horror films is Frankie Valli beach movies I mean imagine him in a Hawaiian shirt cute it was somehow Beetlejuice had to like

Jesus Christ that's the character once the man himself the ghost withjuice had to, like, Jesus Christ. That's the character. Once, the man himself, the ghost with the most, had to, like, scare off developers in order to save the beach or something. That's right. It was like a beach blanket bingo thing. Oh, my God. Can you imagine it, though? Like, visually, it's like Scooby-Doo.

It would have been unbelievable. But also, no one ever cracked it. Ghost Island? Yeah. It will never get made because it's owned by the Geffen Film Company. Uh-huh. And then, right, and then more recently Warner Brothers hired Seth Green Smith, writer of Dark Shadows and other things. And both Burton and Keaton have said that they would like to do it if they got the script that worked.

They've been talking about it. Winona has also said, like, I'm down. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. And Keaton's obviously, like, a viable movie star again now. I feel like sort of hey

yes counterpoint yes counterpoint well I mean the only times that I've like tangibly

that I'm like I'm so attracted to Michael Keaton is like this movie and Spotlight like that's where it goes not Bruce Wayne at all

other guys though so good in Spotlight he's like I got a job and in Spotlight, he's like, I got a job. And in Beetlejuice, he's like, I got a job. He does have a job in Spotlight. But the thing is, with a Beetlejuice sequel, though. Add another tally for Rebecca. Okay, that's the only time.

I think we've all said it like 50 times now. Not me, I got a clean slate. No, no, no. But I don't know how they do a sequel without him being a predator and trying to make it... And this is what I've heard about the musical, especially in a post-animated zone. It's like, the problem is if you actually continue the story and play up how creepy it is, it's upsetting. But apparently the musical has kind of sanitized him where you're like, wait, is he supposed to be a threat?

It's been 30 years. You know, you can't quite do the old character. Let's play the box office game. Yeah, it's just crazy to think that Warner Brothers watches this movie and goes like, oh, that's who should make Batman.

Especially because he's made two pure comedies at this point. I think he was already on the Batman train by the time this movie, I don't think it had even come out yet. They were so happy with the results. Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. It's totally nuts. Becca, what do you do?

I just want to tell you my last note that I have on here. It's just, it's that Beetlejuice is confident. That's what it is. It's Big Dick Energy. It's that he's confident. He's a confident boy. I aspire.ice is confident that's what it is it's Big Dick Henry he's a confident boy I aspire which is why the movie opened number one on April 1st

1988 are you sure or was that or were they kidding when they opened on April 1st oh you're it's a good point

oh my god that was funny how do I know this entire box office game isn't some goof can you tell me the domestic gross of BJ? 80? 73.

Yeah. Adjusted, that's 163. Yeah, big hit. Number one. Number two. What did it open with? 8 million. Yeah.

Solid opening. A film from a very big director based on a play starring a cute actor of the 80s. I like those. Cute. So are they young? Yeah. A child? No. Like a young man. Starring a young man who's cute. It's based on a play. It was the first time the play had been

adapted for the screen? Oh yeah. Well 100%. It's a very famous play a very famous play was it a recent play at that time or was it a classic play that was finally

making it to the big screen that is a good question that I will answer for you I want to know who this cute boy is soon and the answer's coming it had premiered on Broadway three years earlier

so it was a new play new play cute New play. Cute boy. Very famous director. It's also the second play in a trilogy. Is it a Neil Simon? Correct. Is it Biloxi Blues?

Biloxi Blues. And who's the star? That cutie Maddie Broderick. And who's the director? Mike Nichols? Correct. Yeah. We love Mike Nichols.

Sure. Biloxi Blues. We love Mike Nichols. Sure. Biloxi Blues. We stan Mike Nichols. My mom does. Shout out my mom. Yeah, Biloxi Blues. Kind of a hit. Yeah, kind of a hit.

As Ben says, he's got a big kiss on the cheek. Right. Brag. Number three. Another adaptation of a seminal 80s work, a novel. Big 80s novel. Starring another cute boy of the 80s. It's not less than zero, is it?

No, but you're sort of in the zone. Bright Lights, Big City? Bingo. Mikey J. Bingo. Mickey J. Fox, directed by James Bridges. New York is like Big Lights. Oh, yeah.

That movie is rough. Yeah. But he was on this run. Like people forget that like the four or five Michael J. Fox movies after Back to the Future all were big hits.

The Secret of My Success did really well. A movie that no one will ever watch ever again. Uh huh. What if I watch it tonight? Go ahead. I will.

You have called my bluff. Number four is a reissue of an animated film. You have called my bluff. Number four is a reissue of an animated film. A Disney picture? Yes. Oh, we got so excited. Here's 1988. This animated film at this point

Let's see. I'm trying to find when it's like original. Yeah, that would help me. Is it a princess picture? This animated film is seven years old, not a princess. It's not a princess picture. It's only seven years old. You know, we're still in the sort of the nascent VHS era, so you'd still bring your movie back

in theaters. Right, so this isn't... It's only seven years old. It's an 80s Disney film. So one of the ones that wasn't much beloved, Fox and the Hound? Correct. Which? Right in one.

Tim Burton worked on it as an animator. Oh, yeah. Number five is a film that I'm not familiar with, so let's look it up. It's an apocalyptic drama. I like those. Starring Demi Moore. Apocalyptic drama starring Demi Moore. You've never heard of it before?

I don't know this movie. Yeah, I don't know. What's the heard of it before? I don't know this movie. Yeah, I don't know. What's the title of this movie? Michael Biehn is in it. Juergen Prochnow plays Jesus of Nazareth himself. I need a Juergen.

What? It's called The Seventh Sign. Yeah, never heard of it. It's a film. Okay. Don't you tell me otherwise. It made $18 million

in the domestic box office. Yeah, we've also got Johnny B. Goode with Anthony Michael Hall and Robert Downey Jr. We've got Good Morning Vietnam. Big hit. Massive hit.

That's like, it's like 16th week or whatever. We got, oh, Police Academy 5 assignment. Miami Beach. Correct. They're appointed.

Your origin story. Party in the city where the heat is on. Will Smith is still a baby at this point. Not a baby. Okay, well then, Celia Cruz. Just for the listeners, David points at me anytime Police Academy

Yeah, there was a lot of pointing that happened. You have gotten excited in the past when Police Academy was in the box office. It went point to Ben, then Griffin. I pointed to Ben about Police Academy, to Griffin to make the guess, and then to Becca to acknowledge the great city of Miami. It's very pointy. My God.

I do like to point. And I love that about you. Continue. Thank you. I like your new cash phrase, too. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. I stole it from you.

I just don't want to steal it as you infected my brain with it. You're welcome. Sure. So I usually re-watch the movies for this podcast the night before the day of. Right. Which you often say is a bad idea because it usually results in me being late because I'm rushing to finish the movie. Sure.

Or maybe watching the movie on your phone as we prep for the episode. Bad time management. That's only happened one time, and it was when we were recording two episodes back to back. I think it happened twice. It only happened once. It was for the visit. I remember the visit. The visit episode was where you actually had like 20 minutes left. Yeah, and I was like, hey, can you guys

hold on for a second? I have to go to the bathroom. No, but like sometimes I have to like, oh, I got a doctor's appointment in the morning and then we're recording so I download the movie to my iPad and I watch it in a bagel shop

and things like that. Sure. Like, I watched this movie two weeks ago because I couldn't help but watch it. Yeah. My girlfriend,

humble rag and I. Like, we're just like, fuck it, let's watch Beetlejuice right now. Right. And the movie ended and she just went, it's perfect.

Yes, that's what, I was talking to her about this last night. It's a perfect movie. And she was acknowledging. went, it's perfect. Yes, that's what I was talking to her about this last night. It's a perfect movie. And she was acknowledging. Okay, everyone's met. Griff is a girlfriend but me.

You will meet her very soon. Rude. It's being arranged. The date will be set. Yes. We're going to have dinner just the two of us like in Monster and Law.

We don't have much time but maybe do you want to on the record say what you thought about her? Oh, please. Yes, let's do this. Me? I didn't? Yeah. Okay.

I thought she was... Okay, she is literally now the light of my life. Hells yeah. Perfect. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. And she's a punk and yet sweet. And that's a hard balance to find. Maybe. She was wearing a circle jerk shirt last night. That's what I heard. So now Ben Stanzer

is a punk legend. She's cooler than Griff which is not very hard. Correct. And I support. And she's going to find she has a hot brother that she's going to set me up.

Oh she does she does kind of have a hot brother. Okay. Oh really? Yeah. They're always in relationships hot brothers. I know.

Never with me. But she was saying, it's one of those movies where I remember seeing it for the first time and just feeling like, yep, right, yeah. No, I've had this movie

in my head the whole time. I think I was pretty aware of it already, I guess, just from the Zeitgeist. But I was just like, I think I was surprised by so much of it. There's that element,

I'm saying, of the inevitability of like, oh, I know how much it's in the Zeitgeist before I watch it for the first time. But it's also just like, I think much in the same way of like Blue Velvet, where like David Lynch like pulled this thing out of like the sort of public consciousness that no one had ever like coalesced into like one coherent statement before. And everyone was like, yeah, this is like, I understand where this is coming from, even though it's unprecedented.

This movie, I think, functions the same way where it's just like, yep, no, this is like, I understand where this is coming from, even though it's unprecedented. This movie, I think, functions the same way, where it's just like, yep, no, right, yes, of course. There was a period of time where I was thinking about pursuing acting, and I prepared a monologue. I did Dennis Hopper. Uh-huh. In Super Mario Brothers. That's the funnier thing, so yes.

And that's the story. did you do the Frank Booth that's really cool the insane blue velvet you probably killed that oh for sure he's a really good actor well I'm just more of a psychotic person do you think

Juilliard has goose on their wall of alumni do you think Juilliard has goose on their like wall of alumni? They should. Do you think he donates? Scabs. Okay. Dry scabs. Dry scabs that he comes.

Shout out Bechdel Pass. Yes. Final thoughts on this. I think we're done. This movie fucks. It slaps. It slaps. It eats bugs.

It eats bugs. This was an era where like this movie was released people didn't know it was going to be a thing and then it became so popular in the cartoon series

later and all of it that there was like a lot of merchandise that happened later there was an item I was trying to find on eBay to get to bring into the studio today

and I forgot but it's they made a Beetlejuice like mask not like a Halloween mask but it was like a toy like plastic mask you could pretend to be a Beetlejuice but it had a like a Halloween mask but it was like a toy like plastic mask you could pretend to be a Beetlejuice

but it had a pump with it. So you could squeeze it and the snakes would fly out of the back of your head. That's good. That's pretty cool. It's really fucking cool. It's called the Beetlejuice Fright Mask. I think personally there's therapy that I need to do to you know break down why this is still

the type of suitor I'd like. But that's just something I'm too lazy to do, so I accept it. And I am unashamed. And I think I just want to get into that

guy's head. No, look, this movie was a sexual awakening for all of us. It's a weird foundational text. And now it's right. It's a weird foundational text. It's a movie that's changed the landscape forever. All comedy exists in a post. He made it okay to be horny.

Thank you. That's our final statement. A big thanks to Mr. Guice for making it okay to be horny. The least sexual director of all time. No one's worse with sex than Tim Burton. Right? Yeah, we'll get to that. Yeah, we will. Rebecca, Classroom

Crush. Where is it? Where is it? It's coming back. I think Ben's going to be my season premiere. Would that be hilarious? It's going to be seven hours long. Let's give him... Because the people want it. Sure. You've both been on it.

That's true. Thank you. If you want to be on it again, hey, I live here now. Yeah. So what's up with that? Welcome to New York. Oh, yeah.

I'm a real New York gal. I watched Sex and the City, which is hilarious that I did that. You watched it only after you moved here? Yeah, I was like, this is a funny bit. Yeah. Anyways, yeah,

please follow Classroom Crush on Twitter and subscribe to Classroom Crush and follow me, Almond Milk Hotel. Just a great Twitter name. Never going to get old. No, thank you so much. I mean, you really did, like, help boost this podcast in the early days. Truly, it's been my pleasure. boost this podcast in the early days.

Truly, it's been my pleasure, and thank you for having me, a lowly commenter of the podcast world on the show. No, you're a superstar. No, I mean, I agree. I'm writing a play. Isn't that funny? Anyways, if I do a play, and it says Rebecca

Bolden, let's come to it. Yes, Beetlejuice the Musical coming to Broadway, written by Rebecca Bolden. And now I. Yes. Beetlejuice the musical coming to Broadway written by Rebecca Bolden. Beetlejuice. And now I'm adding that. That's the only chalk in my musical column. Thank you all for listening.

Please remember to rate, review, subscribe. Thanks to Andrew Gooda for our social media. Lane Montgomery for our theme song. Joe Bowen and Pat Reynolds for our artwork.

Go to blankies.red.com for some real nerdy shit. Go to TeePublic for some real nerdy shit go to TeePublic for some real nerdy merchandise and also next week David we have a special episode

on the movie Aquaman that's right the DC Extended Universe do you see what I'm doing here? he's sort of swimming like a fish I'm diving in oh he's diving in we're gonna dive into Aquaman

we're all gonna go see it and then we're gonna talk about it we're all gonna see it together which will be fun He's sort of swimming like a fish. I'm diving in. Oh, he's diving in. We're going to dive into Aquaman. We're all going to go see it. And then we're going to talk about it. We're all going to see it together, which will be fun. Yeah, it was always. It's always a good time. I know the boys. And the other thing is that apparently it's great.

So it's like silly and fun. So hopefully we will find it silly and fun. Yes. So next week, Aquaman. That's our last episode of 2018. Yeah, we're going to be taking a week off. It will be dark New Year's week. Yeah. And go ahead.

But we do have a special announcement to make. I know. We do. It's a big deal. We're going to be starting in 2019, introducing a Patreon. That's right. It will be the first podcast with a Patreon.

No one has ever thought of doing this before. With two friends that has a Patreon. Yes. It's going to be similar to maybe some other podcasts you might follow or like in which if you chip with some extra cash, five bucks a month, you're going to get three extra episodes a month.

And these are big honking episodes. Ben, let's talk about it. Yes. Let's talk about what we've been doing. So far, these boys have been having me watch marathon, like three movies sitting of the Marvel cinematic universe. So Griffin,

I'll talk about more of this more next week on Aquaman just to set this things up. But yes, we're, we're, we're doing franchises folks. These are the, the movies that just don't fit into our director format that we might not

be able to cover that definitely have blank check all over them. You know, that have been made for crazy amounts of money and do all kinds of weird things. We're starting with the Marvel movies because, I mean, we talk about the Marvel movies on this podcast all the time. And we need more white men to talk about Marvel movies. And we're just, they're commentaries. We sit down on my couch. Ben's there.

Yep. We flick the movie on and we just talk and talk and talk. It's got kind of the energy the old star wars episode that's really like wild and goofy we've done a bunch of them so far they're a lot of fun they've been so fun uh it's kind of like just hanging out with the the two friends and producer ben um so each of those episodes obviously is as long as the movie if not longer and then also we're gonna toss it we'll get two of those a month and we'll toss in another episode a month that could be a mailbag it could be a review of like a weird movie like what men want or something that we can't fit onto the main feed maybe um uh exclusive

audio from like a live uh event yes like our interview with james shamus after the hulk screening things like that again we're going to talk about this more, but we just wanted to alert you that the Patreon feed is being set up. I think it's going to be in the show description. Yes. There'll be a link to it. We'll have the link live. I'm sure we'll tweet it out. Show description.

Yeah. Sign up now, and you won't be charged until January. And January 1st, we're going to post an episode. Iron Man. Yeah. Right, Ben? That's right. All right. And lastly. January and January 1st we're going to post an episode Ironman yeah right Ben that's right all right lastly it's very exciting and it's a great way to support the show it's a way for us to pay

like Ben and Ange and ourselves for all the like ridiculous work we do on this podcast it'll be fun it'll be very interactive like you guys are going to be able to like communicate what you want to us there's no bits involved oh there is an absolute ban on bits yeah yeah so just be aware of that and then lastly i just want to let everyone know maybe i could say this you know what too many announcements

we'll save it for next week what the heck was your other announcement 2019 sundays at 4 a.m oh yeah yeah that's true the episodes will officially post i'll save it for 4 a.m but we again we'll talk about's true. The episodes will officially post at 4 a.m. But again, we'll talk about this more in Aquaman. We just wanted to give you a heads up. That's what's coming. 2019. Alright, and now Griffin, do your stupid thing. And as always,

fielders, fielders, fielders. I figured you were right.