Blank Check with Griffin & David - Big Eyes with Richard Lawson

Episode Date: April 14, 2019

Richard Lawson returns to discuss the late-Burton effort: 2014's Big Eyes. But why are the eyes so big? Should Christoph Waltz be the star of his own network TV sitcom? How did Burton pull off making ...the focus of this movie about the main character's abuser? Together they examine the eyes (which are big), Margaret Keane's history and Alita: Battle Angel (which is also known as Big Eyes 2.)  Plus, check out past (and future) guests Richard and Joanna Robinson's podcast Still Watching: Game of Thrones. Get Richard's book All We Can Do Is Wait!

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 You have an amazing talent. You can look at someone and capture them on canvas. You can paint people. I can only paint podcasts. Yes, my podcast scenes are charming, but at the end of the day, they're just collections of hot takes and bits. Okay, brag. That's a new approach. Yeah, to not just putting the word podcast in.
Starting point is 00:00:43 More fully integrate. More of a them approach. Yeah, to not just putting the word podcast in, but yeah, right. More fully integrate. More of a thematic, yeah. That quote isn't that iconic, so I said, let's read, let's shift the entire meaning of the quote.
Starting point is 00:00:51 I mean, as we all know, Big Eyes has 10 iconic quotes. You decided not to go I was going to say, that's the only un-iconic thing about this film. Oh boy.
Starting point is 00:00:59 And Natalie Wood said it was the greatest painting she had ever seen. You like Waltz? It's like the most hideous performance. I love it. Love it! I give this movie two big eyes out of two. Especially because the real guy was like American.
Starting point is 00:01:14 Like he didn't have an accent. You look him up and it's like he was from Nebraska? I got takes upon takes upon takes. He wasn't from Castle Wolfenstein. Christoph Waltz walks on set. I've been working with a coach. How is my American accent? And they're like, well, we got to start shooting because we're going to run out of time.
Starting point is 00:01:30 Up and at them. Yeah, exactly. You knew the two people it was supposed to be before Christoph Walt, right? No. I think I read it, but remind me. Originally announced, because this was going to be Karaszewski and Alexander's directorial. No, not their debut. They did Screwed.
Starting point is 00:01:47 They did Screwed? I believe they did Screwed. I remember that, yes. The Norm Macdonald, Dave Chappelle, Sarah Silverman vehicle. Of course, yeah. DeVito? DeVito. Where there's like a scene where he's like...
Starting point is 00:01:59 Is that the one where Norm Macdonald's holding up fish or something? That's Dirty Work. That's Dirty Work. Dirty Work and Screwed are both sort of like, dare I say it, scum bum movies. Yeah, Scrooge is also, it's kind of like... Rocking the devil horns. What if like Half-Baked's cult following but like divided by 10? It's one of those movies where it's like it has a cult following like among eight people at the university.
Starting point is 00:02:19 Who were high at the exact right point in like 1999 or whatever. But Scrooge is also one of those dark comedies where every critic was like, it's too dark. I don't want to live in this. Anyway, they were supposed to direct it. First time around. Makes sense. Thomas Hayden Church. Kate Hudson.
Starting point is 00:02:38 Thomas Hayden Church really makes sense. Now you're a Kate H fan. You shouted me out about Something Borrowed on a recent episode which I was pleased about. Anytime Something Borrowed comes up, I mention you because you're the person I associate with that movie. But let's say this. As someone who stands so hard for that performance, don't you think she isn't quite right for this role? Not at all.
Starting point is 00:02:55 Right. Well, I think she has a hard time Kate Hudson doing, period. Yes, I do too. Even if it's like mid-century, 20th century, it's still like, ugh. I don't know. She's so modern. I don't know if the church makes sense because he's got the Midwestern sort of corn-fed thing. And he's also incredibly annoying,
Starting point is 00:03:08 but just a different way. Right, right. He's got that sort of slippery charm kind of thing where you're like, this guy's so gross, but he's kind of compelling to watch. Then it was going to be Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Reynolds. Reese Witherspoon, I remember that casting. Ryan Reynolds.
Starting point is 00:03:24 Ryan Reynolds feels very off. Reese feels on point. She's better than Kate Hudson. You do Reese and Thomas Hayden Church. Maybe you have a movie there. That's the most obvious version of it. Isn't Thomas Hayden Church literally three times the size of Reese Witherspoon? He's sort of a broad-shouldered guy, too.
Starting point is 00:03:39 There are all those stories about what a production nightmare for Christmases was, because it's impossible to frame Reese Witherspoon and Vince Reddick. The joke of the poster. She's standing on all the presents. Like five boxes. Yes. And people are like,
Starting point is 00:03:51 what's the joke there? And it's like, there's no joke. That's actually how they could get them She filmed most of the movie on stilts. Yes.
Starting point is 00:03:57 Few people know. She is actually stilt man in the MCU. She's lady stilt man. Lady stilt. You know that the female Stiltman is named Lady Stiltman rather than Stiltwoman?
Starting point is 00:04:08 That's crazy. Yeah. Or Lady Stilt. Yeah, no, her name is Lady Stiltman. Ben, Ben, quick question. Yeah, what's up? Tim Burton? Fuck you!
Starting point is 00:04:18 Tim Burton, go away and never return! How do you like them eyes, though, Ben? I'm like, okay, big eyes. I'm going to like this. Big eyes. Yeah, they're big. Big movie.
Starting point is 00:04:29 Big disappointment. Not true. Big guys. So then it was like when it was the Ryan Reynolds, Reese Witherspoon version, it was, Burt was going to produce. I mean, this is like the exact same arc as- Should you introduce the podcast? I'm going to get to that in a second.
Starting point is 00:04:48 This is like the preamble to the first episode of the OA. The credits are coming for you. I'm Danny Houston doing the narration before we get into the beginning of the story. Also, he'd work with them and Ed Wood. Ed Wood was the same thing where he
Starting point is 00:05:03 came on just as a producer when they couldn't get financing and then he was like i'm gonna direct this even though i usually do big movies so it's the same thing where like they had it set up at weinstein burton was going to produce and then there's this surprise announcement they've totally changed the cast burton's directing and they're like going immediately yeah go go This, of course, is Blank Check. Podcast about filmographies. Directors who have massive success early on in their career, give a series of blank checks, make whatever crazy passion projects they want.
Starting point is 00:05:34 Now, what happens sometimes? Sometimes they clear. Okay, interesting. And sometimes they bounce baby. Do bounce baby in the Christoph voice. And sometimes, sometimes the checks clear, and sometimes they bounce baby in the Kristoff voice and sometimes sometimes the check's clear and sometimes
Starting point is 00:05:47 they bounce baby because right he sometimes does that sometimes they bounce sometimes it's the very clenched thing Taron Killam's
Starting point is 00:05:54 impression of him on SNL was quite funny but then he was on SNL and he was funnier right he's just funny he's so funny that sketch he did
Starting point is 00:06:03 where he's the guy at work who like did something very inappropriate and only realizes. I can't remember. It's like a card or something like a photo. It's so funny. Well, here's my take on him keeping his accent in this movie. Okay. It makes no sense.
Starting point is 00:06:16 But as a counterpoint, right around the same time he does Rowan Polanski's Carnage. Sure. Oh, sure. Where Polanski clearly is like, you have to do an American accent and he's really boring. He's not bad. I've never seen that. So he loses some comedic energy. Right?
Starting point is 00:06:33 No, his accent's fine, but it, it, here's some other things. He cannot maintain the same rhythm that he has that makes his dialogue. So interesting. It's too focused on doing the accent with the American accent.
Starting point is 00:06:44 It's like the accent works, but you're like suddenly he's dimmed. Let's talk Waltz. Let's talk Waltz. Let's Waltz. Let's take this Waltz. Take this Waltz. I have introduced the podcast. I haven't introduced you though. We should do that. It's a new series on the films of Tim Burton. It's called Podward Scissor Cast. Who are you guys? I don't know. Griffin and David.
Starting point is 00:07:00 Okay, cool. Jesus. And who's here? Who's here? But our all-star. Last minute pinch hitter on this one, kind of, right? Yeah, we don't have your jacket ready yet. We don't have your jacket. Oh, that's true. It's a six?
Starting point is 00:07:15 This is seven, baby. This is seven? I think I tied Yoshida because I was worried that she was going to lap me. Right, she's not laughing yet. Number seven, Dickie Lawson's here. Hey, guys. The great Dickie Lawson. Big guys Hey guys. Great Dickie Lawson. Big guys.
Starting point is 00:07:26 Hey guys. Do you know my big guys joke? So I used to do these series of tweets that was just Penny Marshall going up to the box office and trying to buy tickets for a movie. A great series. But getting the title wrong. Yeah. And so hers was two for big guys. She thought the movie was called Big Guys.
Starting point is 00:07:40 I sort of bullied Bobby Finger into thinking that joke was funny. It is funny. What, Bobby didn't think it was funny? What's the matter with him? I just kept trying to make it a thing. One for crumpets? Remember that one? I don't remember what that was. I was at a restaurant and there were two old Jewish ladies sitting next to me and the one woman was
Starting point is 00:07:57 recommending Maisel to the other woman. Oh boy. But she kept on getting the word wrong. You have to watch this. It's called The Fantastic Mrs. Maisel. It's fantastic. And the other woman goes, let me write it down. It's called Mrs. Maisel. And she goes, no, not Mrs. Maisel.
Starting point is 00:08:13 The Fantastic Mrs. Maisel. I'm like, the whole bit is that it's three Ms. Right, right. It's one thing if she went like, it's called The Miraculous Mrs. Maisel. But it's like, doesn't that sound wrong to you? The Terrific Mrs. Maisel. She kept on like, no, it's not amazing. It's terrific. That she went like, it's called The Miraculous Mrs. Maisel. But it's like, doesn't that sound wrong to you? The Terrific Mrs. Maisel. She kept on like, no, it's not amazing, it's terrific. That's what it is.
Starting point is 00:08:29 Let's take a waltz because I want to talk about something at the end of the waltz. Let's take this waltz. With the three of you. Okay. So here's Chris Waltz post-Inglorious Bastards. Obviously, he was like a German actor before that. Right. But kind of like an incredible story that a guy like in his 40s
Starting point is 00:08:46 has his American film debut out of nowhere and wins an Oscar. Yeah. And sort of overnight becomes like a movie star but then it's like
Starting point is 00:08:53 what are we going to do with this guy? Like how do we slot him into he's so particular. He's a particular one. That character feels like it was designed for him. Right.
Starting point is 00:09:02 The opening scene. Yes, it's great. With the milk. Yeah, it's great. With the milk and the guy. You know the crazy thing is that he wrote it for DiCaprio. Right. And that doesn't work. If that's DiCaprio playing London. I think it doesn't work.
Starting point is 00:09:15 Yeah, I don't know. What do you think, Richard? Of Inglorious Bastards? I think it's a good movie. I think he's great in it. Yeah. But it was kind of one of those things where I didn't realize watching it that that's what he does you know what I mean
Starting point is 00:09:26 sure you're like oh this is a great performance we've just gotten a lot of variations on that since well that's the waltz that I want to take okay so yeah
Starting point is 00:09:32 the green hornet he's the villain I don't remember whatever and he was the last minute sub in Dickie Lawson style after Nicolas Cage dropped out
Starting point is 00:09:40 oh wow there you go water for elephants Nicolas Cage was supposed to be on this episode right he was that's right that's the meta narrative I love those eyes I can't do them Cage dropped that. Oh, wow. There you go. Water for Elephants. Nicolas Cage was supposed to be on this episode, right? He was. That's right.
Starting point is 00:09:45 Yes. That's the meta narrative. I love those eyes. I can't do him. That wasn't... The eyes are big. No. I want big eyes. I can't do it.
Starting point is 00:09:55 Go on. Water for Elephants where obviously he either played the water or the elephants. I can't remember. I have not seen Water for Elephants. He was the terrible circus trainer
Starting point is 00:10:01 or the ringmaster. He's kind of the villain. This is my circus. Look at my three rings. And that was also a post-Oscar movie for Reese, kind of, wasn't it? What year was that? It's 11.
Starting point is 00:10:12 It's a few years after. But it was definitely a big movie. And that was kind of the first big post-Twilight Pattinson. Right. That's right. That's what I'm thinking. Like, is he going to be able to carry over? And it was, you know,
Starting point is 00:10:23 it was Francis Lawrence having done two genre movies and maybe being, like, could this be an Oscar player? And the answer was no. And he was like, okay, forget it. I'll go make genre movies again. Was that his immediate follow-up
Starting point is 00:10:34 to Iron Legend? He didn't do any? No. Yeah, that's crazy. Then he was in The Three Musketeers as Cardinal Richelieu. Terribly miscast there.
Starting point is 00:10:42 I'm sure I haven't seen that. That movie is actually, if it's the one I'm thinking of, it's really fun. The Paul Anderson one is supposed to be fun. That's the one with Milly Jovovich, right? Yes. If it's a Paul Anderson movie, it's got Milly Jovovich. Logan Lerman.
Starting point is 00:10:54 It's actually a really fun movie. Isn't Orlando Bloom the villain? I think Waltz is the villain. No, Waltz is Richelieu. Isn't Orlando a bad one? Yes, I believe so. He's the Duke of Buckingham. It's a really fun movie.
Starting point is 00:11:07 Everyone should see it. There's a hot air balloon involved. Oh, I love it. Yeah, well, people voted against WS. Yeah, you idiots. Then he was in Carnage, as you say. Really blind. Which I've never seen,
Starting point is 00:11:16 but that's a play. A play that takes place in one room. Why did they turn that into a movie? It's a bad idea. It was just a hot play, I guess. Yeah. Roman Polanski. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:24 And then he was in django and he won a second academy award for doing something similar and he's nuts nice but that was the year that everyone everyone was a winner was a winner right right but i still would have given it to tommy lee jones rock in the house or paul uh philip seymour hoffman yeah his best or you go like deniro more turned on than he's been in a long time like it's not like master right lincoln oh okay uh yeah it's just weird weird it's on than he's been in a long time. Like it's not like. The Master and Lincoln. Oh, okay. It's just weird.
Starting point is 00:11:49 It's just that he's the lead of Django kind of. He has so much in him. He has more screen time than everyone. And he's fun. He's got a tooth. Yeah. Big tooth on his cart. On a spring, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:56 He's fun. He shoots like four to ten people. I don't remember. It is just weird that he won for two. Same director, same kind of part. Within five years. Yep. he won for two same director same kind of part within five years yep like back to back films
Starting point is 00:12:06 where he's kind of a really heavy supporting bordering on Colt Lee right totally both of them and then the Zero Theorem
Starting point is 00:12:16 I've never seen that the Terry Gilliam movie yeah Horrible Bosses 2 I've never seen that he's really kind of like it's once again where they're like
Starting point is 00:12:24 well he should be in movies. The man has Oscars. What is that movie about? What? Horrible Bosses 2. What if there were two Horrible Bosses? They start their own company and then they sell it to someone. He's a Horrible Boss? And then it's Christoph Waltz and he's terrible. And his son Chris Pine
Starting point is 00:12:40 is a cokehead so they kidnap the son in order to get the father to sell them back their business I don't fucking know that was good it's just a shame they never got to finish
Starting point is 00:12:50 the trilogy because the story was so open ended so many hanging threads I don't know what Snoke is going to do an answer Snoke's a horrible boss
Starting point is 00:12:58 that was going to be the third one they were in talks with Snoke then they realized he's made up he's made up Snoke is the stinger at the end of Horrible Bosses 2.
Starting point is 00:13:08 But then it was just this weird convo with some of the studios. Get Snoke. Who's Snoke? Is he CAA? Get him on the line. And the guy had to explain he's made up. But Snoke also got stolen in the Midnight Raid. Snoke got stolen from UTA. They're doing a Disney Plus Snoke show, right? They better. Snoke in the City. Disney Snoke got stolen from UTA. They're doing a Disney plus Snoke show, right? They should do that.
Starting point is 00:13:26 Snoke in the city. Disney Snoke. Sorry. Alright. Big Eyes, we'll skip over that for a second. Spectre, he's the villain. Legend of Tarzan, he's the villain. Tulip Fever, is he the villain? He's the tulip. Then there'll be no more tulips! This city's got tulip fever!
Starting point is 00:13:42 Out of here! Downsizing is the first time I had seen him in a million years where I was like oh he's fun he's so good in that he's really good in that
Starting point is 00:13:51 and then this year we all separately saw a little picture called Alita Battle Angel and he's going to win his third Academy Award
Starting point is 00:14:00 alternate title Big Eyes well that's the thing is my theory is he went so mad for Big Eyes filming Big Eyes he's like I must have them all big eyes his agents like this movie's called like small eyes he's like no yeah uh my my girlfriend tc-14 uh constantly calls elita battle angel big
Starting point is 00:14:18 eyes of course and then i big eyes i told her i told her i was like we're recording tomorrow she's like what movie and i was like big eyes and she was like you guys are doing an Alita episode already and I was like no Big Eyes and she was like what do you mean and I was like the actual Big Eyes movie and she was like I didn't know that was a thing what really she didn't know about those eyes
Starting point is 00:14:37 I just called Alita Big Eyes because that's the most compelling part of the trailer they're big but Dr. Dyson Edo hi I am Iron City. You know, we must, you know, you don't want to.
Starting point is 00:14:49 He's, I think he's amazing in that movie. I think we all agree on the quality of that movie. That movie is a fucking masterpiece. Which is one reason I want to talk about it.
Starting point is 00:14:55 Yes. I've seen it three times in theaters. You've seen it three times? Yes. Have you seen him 4DX yet? No. I am so good.
Starting point is 00:15:01 No. I don't like to do that. Christoph Waltz rubs your leg. Yeah. Because he's so sad in that movie. This't like to do Christoph Waltz rubs your leg. Yeah. Because he's so sad in that movie. Christoph Waltz's breath. He's never done that before.
Starting point is 00:15:10 Where he's this very weird haunted tragic guy. Doctor Dyson Edo. No, but what does he do? They call him that. Oh, he's a hunter warrior and he has a giant hammer with like a rocket
Starting point is 00:15:19 attached to it that rules and he wears a hat and a raincoat. Yeah. He looks like a fucking plague doctor. I don't know. I was going to say he was right at the point where it was like
Starting point is 00:15:27 maybe this guy has kind of hit his expiration point because we've seen the one thing he's done so many times that it's getting old. And then he, back to back, downsizing is like, oh, he can play this relaxed? Yes. No, exactly. And Alita is like, he can play this sad? And suddenly you find
Starting point is 00:15:44 some variance. And exactly. And Alita is like, he can play this sad and suddenly you find like some variance. And smartly, Alita subverts your expectations because for a while you think he's the villain. Yeah, you think he's the bad guy. And it's like, oh no, he's not.
Starting point is 00:15:52 He's actually like this avenging hero which is something we've not really seen. I mean, I guess maybe sort of Jango, but. Right, but can I also, this is, all right,
Starting point is 00:15:59 so spoilers for Alita for anyone who has still not gone to the Thunderdome whatever it's called it's playing in every multiplex I'm sure at this point yeah boy
Starting point is 00:16:09 but there's a scene in Alita I love every scene in Alita except for a couple of the Hugo scenes I don't like Hugo yeah Hugo's a little rough
Starting point is 00:16:17 I know you like Hugo wait wait he's the cute the cute boy well yeah you think Hugo's fairly appealing I think that movie's
Starting point is 00:16:24 got a major BBP boring boy problem oh yeah well he's a little I'm such an easy mark what was it I
Starting point is 00:16:31 oh I was on a film festival recently and like the first scene there was like I realized the lead was like a cute guy and I was like oh it's a great movie
Starting point is 00:16:37 it's so pathetic but there's a scene late in Alita that is a scene that we've seen in a thousand movies and TV shows which is that someone is waiting in a hospital or doctor's office or whatever
Starting point is 00:16:51 for yeah you know sort of waiting for news sitting quietly the doctor comes out and he's like well you should just come except in this scene she's like is he okay because I cut his head off and attached it to my heart for a while and he's like well uh yeah you should just see i put his head on top of a bunch of weird
Starting point is 00:17:10 robot parts and he looks fine now like and you're just like this movie is bananas yeah it's like you know we get it you know we're there with it emotionally but it's also bananas it's crazy yeah it's one of the few movies in which the romantic teen boy leads head is carried. Yeah. In the girls. One of the few. There are a few. One of the few.
Starting point is 00:17:29 I think Ringwald did it in a movie. To fool the robot cops. Yeah. Ringwald did it. There's definitely. Leah Thompson. She's having a baby is about that. Right.
Starting point is 00:17:37 Yeah. It's so stressful because it feels like Alita is right at that cusp of whether or not they make a sequel because of worldwide gross. It feels like it's within like 20 or 30 million. It's either going to just make it or just not. 100%. If they can make three
Starting point is 00:17:55 Divergent movies, they can or Maze Runner. Right now it's at 400 worldwide. That's pretty good. Which is not bad, but it costs a fortune. They claimed their break-even number was 350 but, but it costs a fortune. It costs a lot, yeah. So it's not going to, they claimed their break-even number was 350, but that's like a total lie. It was probably like 500.
Starting point is 00:18:16 I also kind of think, though, I mean, the other big question is now it's Disney overseeing Fox. I think pure Fox would have been a little easier to convince. The question is how much Disney wants to stay in Cameron's good graces because they know he's delivering four avatars for them. No, he's bearing four avatar seats for them. He is. He's merely a surrogate for the natural evolution of the Avatar saga. That's why it's been delayed. We didn't realize how long avatar seats take to gestate. He is but the carrier.
Starting point is 00:18:38 Avatar seats. Yeah, he is graciously opening up his male womb to the incubation of four avatar stories. His male womb is his butt. So it's like James Cameron buried his movie in the ground, like my jeans. Yes. I feel like the jeans should be a Patreon exclusive. Well, let's not say any more than that then.
Starting point is 00:18:58 Okay, all right, all right. What I was going to say. I buried jeans. Oh, I listened. No more. No more. Big I buried jeans. Oh, I listened. No more. No more. Big eyes buried jeans. No, the other thing
Starting point is 00:19:09 I was going to say about Alita... Why have you buried your jeans? No, it turns out he's burying the jeans, but she made the jeans. I don't know. Don't you think Alita... The Gloria Vanderbilt story.
Starting point is 00:19:19 Don't you think Alita is one of those movies where if they announce that they're doing a sequel, which will take like three years, right? In that time through doing a sequel, which will take like three years, right? In that time through like home video, like streaming, it kind of might grow a little John Wick style. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:19:33 I think people might come around to how weird that movie is. It's amazing how many people, like every time I saw it, it's because I was dragging someone else to see it. I was like, I can't believe you haven't seen Alita. Just people on the street. Exactly. And I would say my hit rate was like 30 to 40 you know what i mean like yeah a lot of people were just like yeah no my brain just turned off i have nothing to say don't you think that happened with john wick too no john wick was an instant cult hit i disagree with that you're wrong
Starting point is 00:19:59 i don't know what to tell you i think certain people were very strong i'm gonna tell you something what john wick came out it no buzz, as we all remember. Right? Like, no buzz at all. It opened okay. It only made $43 million. You know, it was like a sleeper hit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:12 The week it came out, we wrote an article on The Atlantic that was titled, Someone Killed His Dog and Now They Have to Die. Yeah. And it was just about John Wick. And it was the most read article in the history of the website. That is not true. It is true. That is true?
Starting point is 00:20:26 Yes. Now, it's easily been beaten since then. Many times over. But the interest in this movie was instantaneous. People were just like, what's this movie? Like, very fast. But I feel like it instantly gained a quote. In video, it got even bigger.
Starting point is 00:20:42 Right. Because I just remember... You look at the way those movies have scaled. in release date and budget and gross it obviously i saw both of those movies opening weekend saturday and the first one most of the audience was kind of laughing at it and it felt like they were there to see it ironically and you can see the other smart people who were keyed into the craft of the film and the the second film I saw, same way, opening Saturday. People were hyped. When John Wick came on screen, they broke into applause. As they should.
Starting point is 00:21:11 And I was like, this is the fastest any character has become a legend. I want to be quick. Culture. Atlantic. Culture pieces. Oh, okay. Because we're not counting Ta-Nehisi. Right.
Starting point is 00:21:21 Yeah. Thank you. Just to be clear. Sorry, the case for reparations. Sorry, Frederick Douglass has like a byline on the Atlantic. But anyway, he does. You can like look him up. But well, we had different experiences then.
Starting point is 00:21:34 Because when I saw it, my whole audience was almost immediately just all in on Mr. Wick. Yeah. When I saw Big Eyes, everyone burst into applause. I'm getting so protective. I'm trying to nestle my little daughter away from Christoph Waltz so I can raise her properly. Well, here's something we need to say about Big Eyes. But wait, can I ask a question about Alita before we move to the actual movie that we're here to talk about? Whenever I say Big Eyes, it could mean Alita.
Starting point is 00:21:57 Either one. This episode's about two movies. Big Eyes and Alita. We can keep talking about Alita. Well, actually, first thing. The problem with Alita's life on video or whatever is that what is appealing about that movie Alita's life on video sounds like a Richard Linklater movie.
Starting point is 00:22:12 It's at Cannes this year. Is that what's appealing about that movie is kind of almost the opposite of what's appealing about John Wick. Alita, the hurdle it has, not just because it's not IP that people know, is that it's so earnest. Yes.
Starting point is 00:22:27 And it feels so old-fashioned. And I feel like that's what's turning people off. So my question then is, how the fuck did it become the sort of movie that was championed by the assholes who were trying to bury Captain Marvel? So weird. It was so weird.
Starting point is 00:22:38 Well, especially because the life cycle that I've seen Alita have online was that very early on, there was a huge trans following for the movie. And trans critics were sort of rallying around it. And I think, you know, lots of movies about people who like switch their bodies and, you know, their identities. The malleability of identity
Starting point is 00:22:53 and your soul and all that sort of stuff. Obviously, the community's going to respond to that. But then, right, then it became, I guess Captain Marvel came out, what, like three weeks later? Yes. And it became the thing of like, yeah, no, I support female lead movies that are like twisted. I don't even know what the argument was. That was the argument.
Starting point is 00:23:10 Well, because Rosa Salazar didn't say like, I don't want male critics to review the movie or whatever. Like Brie Larson did or something. She said shit like that, but she's not Brie Larson, so it didn't get as much traction. Like all those guys who are angry at Brie Larson are angry about like an out of context headline they saw of her in an interview saying I would like to see more diverse people on my press tour. And they all interpret it as
Starting point is 00:23:34 she doesn't want men to see the movie. Well do you think maybe some of these people maybe they're a little bad faith about this stuff. What do you mean? I don't know. Maybe they've got got a little bit of a loaded opinion already. I don't know. I think we have to respect both sides of the argument.
Starting point is 00:23:49 You're right. I'm sorry. You know, we have a saying in our family. Use sports. Don't let sports use you. Hi, it's Jeff Merrick from 32 Thoughts to Podcast. Are you a sports parent, rep sports, travel sports, whatever you call it?
Starting point is 00:24:03 If you're like me, you know that one of the great joys of having your kid or kids play sports is travel. You know, our families use sports to see different parts of the world, meet new people, and stay in a number of different places. Recently, we've started using Airbnb. The kids love it because it feels like a sleepover at a new friend's house, while my wife and I enjoy more space, a proper bed, and mostly a washing machine. That really comes in handy for baseball trips. Trust me. In fact, it was on a baseball trip last summer when my wife sent me a text after the first night saying, do you think we could do this?
Starting point is 00:24:43 Look, if you've ever stayed at an Airbnb, you've probably wondered the same thing. Could our place be an Airbnb? And now that our kids have also discovered the joys of skiing, in addition to travel hockey and travel baseball, we're on the move even more. Well, our house just sits there. Why not make a little extra money to cover some costs, right? We have friends who travel south every winter and they Airbnb their place. Why not?
Starting point is 00:25:10 Look, if you want to make a little extra cash, and who doesn't need that these days, maybe your home could be the way to make it happen. Find out how at Airbnb.com. Big eyes. Let's talk big eyes. Now, here's the movie big eyes the eyes are big
Starting point is 00:25:26 the year is 2014 yeah we both work in the biz sure I would just start no yeah I was just completing
Starting point is 00:25:33 my first year at VF right and we know of Amy Adams and you do too as a promising actress people like her and
Starting point is 00:25:42 this movie had a lot of like this might be the one that finally gets her the Oscar because she's already been nominated five times. That's what I was saying. She'd gotten in that sort of Winslet zone where it's like, she's got so many nominations,
Starting point is 00:25:53 the next one's got to be her. And as we know, biopics always play well with Academy voters. And even though Burton doesn't do well with the Oscars, he's still a big director. And this movie came out at Christmas, so I think everyone was like, she's going to win a big Oscar.
Starting point is 00:26:06 And she's unique because she is a leading lady and a proper movie star. A leading lady? But four of her five nominations at this point are for supporting. And so people are like, this is a movie where she's really carrying the thing. This might be the full showcase that she needs.
Starting point is 00:26:21 She's been nominated now six times, I believe, and only once for lead. Right. American Hustle is her only lead. Yep. Right. It still remains crazy that she didn't get the Arrival nomination. I know. Especially since that movie was across the board. No, it was nuts. That's her best
Starting point is 00:26:37 performance. Right, and I remember being like, I don't know if that movie's going to get any other nominations, but she's a lock, and then it ended up getting picture, director director screenplay. Everything other than her. But anyway, what's important is that she won the most important award. Golden Globe. Golden Globe.
Starting point is 00:26:52 Comedy. Comedy. Comedy. This is not a comedy. I think this movie is funny. I was laughing. When? All the time.
Starting point is 00:27:04 Oh, boy. This is him doing his weird, like, take on Douglas Sirk. This is like his weird melodrama movie. Yes, right. But, I mean, I don't think of the Sirk movies as comedies. No, but that's why I'm saying his weird take on them. Right. I think he's heightening everything to absurd levels.
Starting point is 00:27:21 I mean, here's my other big take. I want him to heighten it more. Here's my big take on the Walt performance because I'm not going to hold on to this. I want to put this out there right away. You seem to have something
Starting point is 00:27:28 in your hands that's trying to escape. I have a live rat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've named him Christoph Walt. Griffin's throwing matches at us. I will burn the place down. Turpentine.
Starting point is 00:27:43 God, he's so good at syllables. He is. I mean, we'll talk about it. I interviewed him for this movie. Anti-disestablishmentarianism. Like, just the longer a word is, the more. He got three Oscar nominations? Golden Globe nominations?
Starting point is 00:28:00 Comedy. Walt's got a nomination. Did they put him in lead or supporting? Lead. Okay, yeah. He is a lead. I mean, he's all a lead. They were trying to do a bad faith campaign for him as
Starting point is 00:28:08 supporting, which was category fraud. Well, he wasn't going to get it anyway. Considering he's a bigger part than Amy Adams. Yes. Which is sort of part of the problem of the poster, where he's the top. He's in a film about him taking credit for the painting. Just the irony of
Starting point is 00:28:24 the movie being about the man taking credit for her work. And then the movie about it, the man takes center. Like, it's just like, these are all fair. But the problem is, well,
Starting point is 00:28:32 it's kind of the market. It's a passive role. She kind of locked herself away for so many years. Right. And then she only unlocked herself when she got into numerology and or Jehovah's witnessing. Right. Yeah. And met some surfing teens in Hawaii.
Starting point is 00:28:47 Well, yeah. This is my take. Here's your take. I think Burton is certainly an expressionistic filmmaker, right? And on the surface, this is a less sort of outrageous story, a less heightened story.
Starting point is 00:29:04 And he's making expressionistic film through making it kind of in the style of the, like, ripped from the headlines sort of B dramas of this time period. You know, he's doing sort of melodrama combined with, like, weird, like, B-movie thriller combined with, like, the Christine Jorgensen story or any of these sort of like important issue movies
Starting point is 00:29:28 made by like sort of low-rank filmmakers. But the casting and the way he directs the Amy Adams and the Christoph Waltz performances, which feel like they're in totally different movies.
Starting point is 00:29:39 And I know as the chief complaint of this film is what tone is this thing? They're not acting in the same thing what i think is interesting about the waltz performance and the anna's performance a i think it's daring to have her be that passive yeah with an actress who is capable of playing bottled emotions in a way that is far louder you know sure this is like really like for the film to work you need to buy
Starting point is 00:30:03 that she is that easy to sort of step on. You know, right. That she is that sort of subject to victimization or marginalization. And then the second thing is this recent spat of now we're all obsessed with like charming sociopaths, right? He is like narcissistic megalomaniacs, Billy McFarland,
Starting point is 00:30:24 Elizabeth Holmes with her voice maybe a little guy named Donald J. Trump you nailed it she talks like Lupita in Us so this is my point
Starting point is 00:30:35 when you watch either like of those documentaries right either of the fire documentaries you watch like Bad Blood not Bad Blood
Starting point is 00:30:42 The Inventor or Listen to Bad Blood or any of this and everyone's talking about like they're so captivating it's so weird people always ask me how did you fall for it entries you watch like bad uh not bad blood the inventor or listen bad blood or any of this and everyone's talking about like they're so captivating it's so weird people always ask me how did you fall for it when you're in the room with these people there's just something about it and then we watch the footage and we're like billy mcfarland seems so boring and he's so clearly full of shit right i would never fall for it yeah so if you cast someone to play walter keen the way he actually
Starting point is 00:31:04 felt in the room i think you'd go like, why? This is like insane. Why would anyone fall for this? The Christoph Waltz casting is this is a guy who somehow made a Nazi guy kind of compelling. Right. Where you're just like, I don't know what it is about this guy, but his energy is so fucking weird. And the way he talks is so weird that I'm kind of falling into it. fucking weird and the way he talks is so weird that i'm kind of falling into it and i think the movie has that like meta performance of like it doesn't make sense unless the guy is this big
Starting point is 00:31:33 because a performance this big reads the way it feels like when you're in the room with that person right and that person is able to trick you yeah it's a it's a question of scale right yeah you you have to you have to um do it big enough that it can make the transition right yeah it's a it's a question of scale right yeah you you have to you have to um do it big enough that it can make the transition right yeah no that makes sense it's like a nicholas cage thing where like he said for peggy sue got married he made the insane choice to play that character speaking like pokey from gumby sure and francis ford coppola is like why are you doing this to me like i fought so hard to help you out my My cousin, my nephew, whatever you are. Why are you doing this to me? And he's like, this whole movie is about, like, the idea that she goes back to her teen years and the guy she thought is the heartthrob she now sees through.
Starting point is 00:32:13 How, like, silly he is. Sure. And I want to make a performance that feels the way when you look through your school yearbook, you're like, I can't believe I ever found this person attractive. So I want to be, like, silent at the beginning of the movie when I'm an old man. Right. And when it goes back to the past, I'm so clearly goofy and childlike that you have the feeling
Starting point is 00:32:31 as an audience member that she has of embarrassment. That's a, that's fine. That's a good defense of Peggy Sue got married. Good movie. And I think there's the same thing
Starting point is 00:32:39 going on with Christoph Waltz in this where it's like, even the fact that he's German and it's inexplicable adds to the weird mystique of like, why is Elizabeth Holmes talking in that voice? Like, can't we all see through that? Right. OK, that's fine.
Starting point is 00:32:51 That's all fine. But the movie's kind of boring. Disagree. That's the problem. I think it's a rip run through. It is not. I think it's an emotional roller coaster. Also not.
Starting point is 00:33:02 Right. I mean, I was trying to think of a way to make it more engaging, but I just think, because it's a fascinating story, but it's more of a read story. You know? I don't even think a documentary would sustain it, you know, because it's still not dynamic. Maybe a short documentary.
Starting point is 00:33:18 Let's keep it short. Sure. An episode of something. I tweeted a gif at the two of you with one perfect shot, and I want to find this so I can give proper credit to it, but a blank I tweeted a gif at the two of you with one perfect shot and I want to find this so I can give proper credit to it. But a blankie tweeted a thing which I like this movie a lot. Yeah. But I totally agreed with this and I was like
Starting point is 00:33:33 fuck this is really smart. Oh yeah I know the tweet you're talking about. Did you see this? I'm not sure. Tell me. Ben looked like he had something to say so say it while I'm looking for this tweet Ben. I was wondering if there is a good movie about a painter. And like, I feel like the Ed Harris movie. Ed Turner.
Starting point is 00:33:52 Ed Turner. Where he plays the Pollock. Pollock. You're thinking of? Yeah. It's like, meh. Yeah. No, Pollock is good.
Starting point is 00:33:57 I like Pollock. Yeah. Yeah. He's a drunk. Yeah. Andre Rublev. Hello. Moschia.
Starting point is 00:34:03 I've never seen. It's not great. Not that good. Vincent and Theo's very good, but it's kind of a TV series. Yeah. It was like a mini-series that he cut down into a film.
Starting point is 00:34:11 Yeah, you know, Frida isn't bad. I like Frida. Frida's got the sort of lush visuals. What's his name? Willow. As Van Gogh.
Starting point is 00:34:18 Yes. I didn't see that either. At Eternity's Gate. It's boring. It's really boring. See, that's the thing. I'm wondering, can you make an engaging movie?
Starting point is 00:34:25 Yes, you can. Yeah, right. You can. There are some. And look, it works when the filmmakers are very visual and are aesthetically tied to the painters. Because you need to find some way to convey the sense. But that's kind of what Julian Schnabel is like, and he's always just kind of boring.
Starting point is 00:34:44 I mean, Diving Bell and the Butterfly is good. Not about a painter, though. Agreed. It's about a Blinky man. I think his painting movies are bad because I think he's too literal about it. I think Blinky Tamor is good at translating it. I think Tamor's better. And I think the Keen paintings are very much in line with Burton aesthetically.
Starting point is 00:34:58 This is the tweet I want to read. Those eyes are so big. Yes, go ahead. At Double Dog Darrow says, We love him. Is it Big Eye's time? Her. Sure. Sorry. Is it Big Eye's time? Oh, I did see this tweet. Yes, go ahead. At Double Dog Darrow says, We love him. Is it big eyes time? Her. Sure, sorry.
Starting point is 00:35:05 Is it big eyes time? Oh, I did see this tweet. Yes, yes. Because I stand by the fact that it could have been brilliant if it was re-edited with trial as the setting for a Rashomon-style analysis
Starting point is 00:35:12 of how people see the truth ending with the paint on. Yeah, that's a great song for that movie. That's a really smart structural hack for the exact same footage and script that they have.
Starting point is 00:35:21 I interviewed Mr. Christoph Waltz for this movie. It was a weird one. You said this was one of... I pulled it up just to double check. I think I said... I led off with like,
Starting point is 00:35:33 this film is more tragic than I expected for your character. He said, what did you expect? Which is already, I'm like, okay. I'm being interviewed, but okay. And I said, I think I expect something more kitschy or more heightened, but also it got into the struggle with your character that he begins to buy into his own lie. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:49 And he said, where is the lie? Like, you know, you have your mind all made up that he said that to me, which is nuts. You know. And then you just woke up in your bedroom and you were like, how did I get home? He seemed very dialed into the fact where he's like, my character does not think he's lying. Right. Which is how I'm playing it.
Starting point is 00:36:08 I think that's what he was trying to say to me. Yes. He was just saying to me in this scary German way that sounded like he was calling me a liar. Yeah. But, you know, eventually he kind of was like, I understand what you're saying. I'm just telling you how my character feels about it all.
Starting point is 00:36:22 And so, right, you could do that where it's like, rather than presenting him as predatory, which he kind of is from it all. And so, right, you could do that, where it's like, rather than presenting him as predatory, which he kind of is from minute one in the movie, right? Like, he sort of just shows up and he's like... But the thing about that interpretation, it's kind of bullshit. I mean, it's exonerating. It's like, what do you mean he doesn't think he's lying? Right, I know, it's crazy.
Starting point is 00:36:38 He is lying. Is he completely insane? You know, he's lying, but you know what she's doing? Painting. But, we have seen so many well, with your big eyes and your big lies. We've seen so many examples of this recently. Like, how is him testifying in court, which
Starting point is 00:36:53 they have said many times, they tone down from the actual transcripts. That is famously one of the craziest trials of all time. Which is probably why the judge was like, two easels, some paint, now. Enough. I like to think of the bailiff going to an art store. What am I named?
Starting point is 00:37:09 The judge in this movie is secretly maybe the best performance. He's good. I love him. He's so good. You know what? There's nothing better than a good judge performance. I was just watching Presumed Innocent for no good reason and Paul Winfield in that. You need someone who's immediately, you're like, this guy's in charge now.
Starting point is 00:37:27 Kenneth Troy in People vs. OJ. Oh, so good. Oh, and the Dancing Edo's on Jay Leno. So good. Simon Cowell on American Idol. Great judging. Katy Perry on the new American Idol. Oh yeah, that's right. Jennifer Lopez. Recently there was a clip of some guy performed an original
Starting point is 00:37:42 song and she was like, you wrote that? And he's like, all by yourself? Yeah. You wrote that all by yourself? And it's like, Katie, some people do that. And who dressed you? Yeah, right. Who designed your ice cream cones?
Starting point is 00:37:51 How did you get here? Oh, boy. Yes. One more for getting the greatest cinematic judge of all time. Bob Devane. That's right. Oh, right. Of course.
Starting point is 00:38:01 I'm the judge. Here come the judge. This is a complete tangent, but there is a- I'm the judge here come the judge this is a complete tangent I judged that I pooped on myself I find myself guilty sorry go ahead I have a great poop story I'm going to tell you off mic wow what a tease
Starting point is 00:38:16 is it a celebrity poop story? depends on your perception of celebrity I can't it's not a tease but there is a scene in the movie Big Eyes that came out in 2014 in which Amy Adams says no Big Lolo perception of celebrity but no. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not a celebrity. But there is a scene in the movie Big Eyes that came out in 2014
Starting point is 00:38:27 in which Amy Adams says no Big Lolo. Oh boy. It's great. I took a note. I just wrote no Big Lolo. What I was going to say is A.
Starting point is 00:38:40 Christoph Waltz is not the filmmaker so I don't think there's anything wrong with him saying like my character has not lied. He is innocent. Right.
Starting point is 00:38:47 Because his job is to. Advocate for his character. Well, yeah. And this guy is pathological. Right. And it's like, how is this different than like R. Kelly in the Gayle King interview? Where people go like, I can't believe he's lying this much. Right.
Starting point is 00:39:01 But I genuinely think R. Kelly believes he's innocent. Right. You know, I mean, there is this thing that people talk about with like abusers, whether this much right but i genuinely think r kelly believes he's innocent right you know i mean there is this thing that people talk about with like abusers whether it's like emotional abuse whether it's like workplace abuse you know plagiarism sexual abuse like any of these things that they have like a pathological condition where they view themselves as the victims right where they truly believe and it's the thing they talk about in the elizabeth holmes documentary where he's like i believe if you hooked her up to a lie detector, it would not go off.
Starting point is 00:39:27 Right. Like, she fully believes in the reality of what she's saying. And it's like a coping mechanism, you know? For all the lies she's doing. It's like the Rachel Dolezal effect. It's all this shit. Right. Oh, Rachel Dolezal.
Starting point is 00:39:40 I mean, we have been dealing with a lot of people like this in the last 10 years. Right. I mean, we have been dealing with a lot of people like this in the last 10 years. Right. Either cases blowing up or people who have been famous forever being revealed for living this way for decades. Right. You know? And, like, these people who, like, place themselves out in the public eye are very loudly telegraphing the things that they should be getting caught for with no sense of, like, strategy. Right.
Starting point is 00:40:03 And they never fucking back down. And I think the key thing is that like Walter Keene goes to his grave being like, I don't know what that whole trial was about. Almost certainly, right? Right. But the fact that he did the thing where he's like, and now to paint I pick up the brush. Ah!
Starting point is 00:40:22 Incredible. My injury! I've recurred an injury even though I painted like you know a mural the size of a house one time but like you hear stories
Starting point is 00:40:30 about that someone who just like the doctor never found any evidence that they had this injury and they maintain that they did for 30 years as the movie reveals
Starting point is 00:40:38 he's this lifelong scammer he's getting paint and shipped out from he's getting bad paintings shipped to him from Paris and in the scene where she confronts him about that
Starting point is 00:40:46 you see how quick he can lie. He lies quickly. Oh no no it's scenic. You know that's what they call me. And then when she sort of is like clearly no longer interested in this he just shuts down as he sits down.
Starting point is 00:40:57 Like he just has nothing else to do. Yeah. But it's like he's like like a rabid animal. It's like just survival. Which is like the same thing as President of the United States. But...
Starting point is 00:41:07 Who? President Donald Trump. I don't know. John, Donald John Trump. I think the other thing is, like, not to keep on using these two examples, but they're au courant, right? Billy McFarland and Elizabeth Holmes
Starting point is 00:41:24 are both people, much like Walter walter keen where it's like the big thing they're going for is the public persona of like i've always wanted to be an artist like that he's so embarrassed that he is a realtor even if he's successful right because he loves the idea of being someone who succeeds on their art and that's so much more important to him than making art. In the same way that Elizabeth Holmes is doing an impression of Steve Jobs. And she's just like, somehow I'm going to figure out this technology. I think
Starting point is 00:41:53 Walter Keene genuinely sits in that courtroom and is staring at that easel and goes, I'm going to figure out how to paint this in any second now. I'm going to figure out how to paint this because I have the spirit of an artist. It doesn't matter that I haven't physically painted before.
Starting point is 00:42:07 He walked into the room. I mean, he could have just been like, oh, never mind. But he's like, he gets far enough to sit at the fucking easel. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:42:13 And Billy McFarlane's the same thing of just like the fact that they're like the night, you know, three hours before the planes are arriving. Right, the fact that he actually went to the,
Starting point is 00:42:20 was on the island. Yeah. Like it's like, dude, this is not going to happen. These people believe that they're going to keep on getting out of it. Like, it's like, dude, this is not gonna happen. These people believe that they're gonna keep on getting out of it. Right.
Starting point is 00:42:27 It's like getting a gym membership. Right. You're not gonna go. You're never gonna go. But he has that one moment where he says, like, I so badly want it
Starting point is 00:42:36 to be an artist. Yeah. And then he just sort of tails off and doesn't finish the sentence. Right. And it feels like he's kind of gonna admit it,
Starting point is 00:42:43 finally. Yeah. But then he just doesn't. You know, like, he sort of hits the wall of, like, to admit it finally. But then he just doesn't. He sort of hits the wall of he can't articulate. He frames it so much as I'm embarrassed that I'm not taken seriously as an artist even when I'm selling art. Right, right. You know?
Starting point is 00:42:57 Right, right, right. So Big Eyes. We're talking a lot about Christoph Waltz. Can we talk about Jason Schwartzman's character? We can, but I was going to say something about Christoph Waltz can we talk about Jason Schwartzman's character we can but I was going to say something about Christoph Waltz then we can talk about Jason Schwartzman well I was you know I just want to point out we're talking about him because he's the interesting character
Starting point is 00:43:14 and she's not like in the movie much you know and like she's in it a lot she's just a very passive character and there are like flashes of stuff that like could I don't know give her some depth like the Jehovah's Witness
Starting point is 00:43:28 thing. Yeah. There's kind of an indication But Burton's kind of afraid to get too deep into that I think.
Starting point is 00:43:34 He just doesn't want to explore. There's also an indication throughout the film especially toward the end when she's in Hawaii that she had something of a drinking problem
Starting point is 00:43:41 perhaps you know like there was stuff that like I think she plays all of that well. I think she plays all of that well. I think she plays it subtly, but the problem is... She's an excellent actress. The fucking Austrian Grover next to her
Starting point is 00:43:52 is taking up all the oxygen. Well, yes. There's a little bit of the Anne Hathaway, James Franco thing here. You know? Right. Yeah. The difference is, it's not a lack of commitment on her part it's almost that she's playing the kind
Starting point is 00:44:08 of person who gets taken advantage of so well that she disappears into the movie a little bit you have to work harder to engage with her performance because she's so pulled back and it's not the movie's fault that we or you know the kind of movie fandom world
Starting point is 00:44:23 was like oh this is an Amy Adams movie, it's her Oscar. The movie is not called Margaret Keene, it's called Big. You know, it's not solely about her, it's not built that way, but for whatever reason it was kind of packaged to be Big. Why are they so big? I do think that kind of like
Starting point is 00:44:40 was one of the things that handicapped the movie, though, was that everyone was the eyes were too big. No, that the narrative was so much like, this is going to be an Amy Adams vehicle. This is like her big Oscar showcase. So then when people saw the movie, they were immediately disappointed because it's not that.
Starting point is 00:44:56 And who would, I mean, why... It was her Globe showcase. Why is anyone surprised that Tim Burton saw a story and was like, I'm going to mostly focus on the creep? Like, that makes total sense. It's just like, for whatever reason, the packaging of the movie made it seem like it was a star vehicle for Adams. And it's not.
Starting point is 00:45:12 Let's talk about it. Ben's chomping at the bit. Jason Schwartzman performance. Come on. He's like fourth build. Sure. I just never think that art world people are portrayed well in films. Wait, you think he's a little bit of a caricature, this guy?
Starting point is 00:45:28 Hold on, Terry Stamp, he's portrayed in a way that's very compelling and light. I totally forgot he was in the movie until, like, he's just on the TV. He's like, hello, this is Big Brothers. I was going to say, it's so dystopian. His face fills the frame. Here is my art review for this week it's so weird it's like
Starting point is 00:45:50 that's the Burton-y touches that I like where the sort of Serkian heightened thing is coming off well and then I also like when Waltz goes into full maniac mode
Starting point is 00:46:01 it becomes like Night of the Hunter like Bill Guyberry said like me goes into full maniac mode. It becomes like Night of the Hunter. Like, Bill Guyberry said, like me, a true defender of this movie, who thinks it doesn't
Starting point is 00:46:13 get enough credit for how, you know, willing it is to wildly variate, shift in tone
Starting point is 00:46:23 and genre and all of that. But he said, like, my take is this is Burton's, like, truest horror movie. Like, this is his only movie about someone actually being, like, trapped. Right. Because he makes a lot of films about, like, the weirdo who isn't understood. Right. And this is, like, very much a movie about, like, a victim and an abuser.
Starting point is 00:46:43 It is. It 100% is. And he heightens it to that level. Like even Amy Adams driving away in the car. He's not heightening it enough. That's sort of my problem. Like I want more nightmare. There's so many scenes of him going in there and being like, you should open a window.
Starting point is 00:46:56 Yeah. And I'm like, this is frightening. Terrible. She's like kept in this like. Yeah. She's like Mrs. Heversham. But she's like weird. She's just sort of like eh what are you gonna do
Starting point is 00:47:05 you know and she has this sort of whimsical scenes like when she talks to the dog yes you know good reaction shot from the dog yeah
Starting point is 00:47:11 I also think you could and then one time she faints you could mine a lot out of the daughter yes totally which she kind of just like ignores and in fact
Starting point is 00:47:18 that like cast an actor to play the older version of her who can't really act can't really act the weakest performance yeah definitely but I mean
Starting point is 00:47:24 but even you could like one of her best scenes't really act. Can't really act. The weakest performance. But I mean, but even you could like, one of her best scenes is when she's crying about like how she's lying to her daughter. Yeah. Where Adams is killing it. She's good at it. Like, you set it up and she knocked it down. Yeah. And the eyes, they're big as well. Very. But right, you know, it
Starting point is 00:47:40 sort of just feels like a thing that happened. You know, not, maybe foreground that a little more. I also think they could have spent more time with the whole like Rocketball and the big stadium and all that. I mean that scene is great. I like all the
Starting point is 00:47:58 art world stuff as ridiculous as it is. Five county points Richard. No one gave that credit. It's an Alita joke for you those of you who haven't seen it. Is it called Rocketball? No, it's called Motorball. Motorball, darn it. You know what Alita also made me think?
Starting point is 00:48:12 We need an F-Zero movie. All that Motorball stuff combined with Speed Racer. I'm like, can we finally get, not just crazy racing, right? But also, I want to see Captain Falcon get out of his car and then go to wherever, the locker.
Starting point is 00:48:28 And deal with what Captain Falcon would be like. What is that? We'll add it to the slate. Thank you. What's the name of Surprise Cameo's character, the puppet master in Battle Angel Big Eyes? Nova. Nova. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:44 Surprise Cameo. Well, there's also the other surprise cameo in the motorball. Screwhead? No, but we do stand a legend. We stand a legend. Screwhead's great. I mean, Candlehead from, you know, Screwhead I feel like is related to Candlehead from Red or Yellow.
Starting point is 00:48:57 No question. No, Jai Courtney. I might have totally missed that. You may have missed this. Jai Courtney is in one shot. He plays one of the rabbit men? Is that a cameo at this point? Yeah, of course.
Starting point is 00:49:06 That's just a job. Yeah. I listened to this interview with John Landau, who produced the movie. It is like Cameron's guy. Yeah. And he was like, no, Jai just wanted to do it.
Starting point is 00:49:17 And like in a sequel, you know, maybe he would do more. Wow. But there's this one shot where it's before she's playing, but when she's like behind in the locker rooms and you just see him and they're like, well, that's the biggest star.
Starting point is 00:49:27 And he's like, tighten up my screws, love or whatever. He's fucking say, you know, he's a big potato head. Yeah. Yeah. That's all. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:49:37 We do. I agree. So I agree. So I agree. So grace of shot first. How are we doing? Great. Ben has purchased a clock because he thinks the show is running too long.
Starting point is 00:49:50 I don't know what he's talking about. A controversial stance. If anything, the show's too short. Right, yeah. Yeah. And he just tried to check the clock and knock the clock over, so things are going good. Right. So she's painting furniture.
Starting point is 00:50:02 She's in divorce. The movie starts with her leaving a bad marriage. Yes. We don't see the bad marriage, but She's in divorce. The movie starts with her leaving a bad marriage. Yes. We don't see the bad marriage, but she's left it. This is a woman
Starting point is 00:50:09 who you get the sense is quick to fall for charismatic and controlling men. Yeah. Sure. Perhaps does not realize her own inner strength.
Starting point is 00:50:19 Right. Also, it's the 50s and it's tough to be a single mom. And she loves painting. She seems to just like painting for the sake of painting. And she has training.
Starting point is 00:50:28 She has training, and she is, yes, genuinely, as she's always derisively telling, what's his name? Walter. Yes. Yeah, like I sketch my, like I do preliminary drawings. I have reasons for what I do. And the other thing is that she has this kitschiness that people don't uh get that people either really strongly react to or go like why would you do this right and the answer is like i don't know this is just sort of like this is my
Starting point is 00:50:55 thing this is my thing which is which is kind of burtony i know you know like i don't know what can i tell you like this is my aesthetic these are the stories i'm taking it's another thing i kind of want from the movie which is, get into what the fuck is up with her. But it sort of gets too bogged down in the theft stuff. Yeah. But she painted all these big eyes. The eyes are pretty big.
Starting point is 00:51:15 And when you ask her about it, she says things like, oh, the eyes are the window to the soul. And I love the children are sad. Made my feelings. But like, I want to know more about. They don't have to be a floor to ceiling. She tells the story. You're opening with that Warhol quote. Like, I want to dig into, like, the weird sort of kitschy, like, marketing
Starting point is 00:51:32 of it all. I like all that stuff, like, when they're selling the posters, all that process. She tells the story about going deaf as a child. Yes. She had surgery. She went deaf temporarily. So she had to spend time looking at... Right, reading people's eyes, which I think does make sense.
Starting point is 00:51:47 I really like the supermarket scene where she starts seeing everyone around her with the big eyes. Plaintive sort of. You get the notion in the same way that Burton always sketches like 17 rings around characters' eyes. And teardrop heads.
Starting point is 00:52:03 That's how she funnels her perception. That's the way she interprets energy, human energy. And you see her style evolve, too. And then she's able to compartmentalize between the waifs, or whatever she calls them, the big-eyed waifs, and this new form
Starting point is 00:52:19 that she's doing, which is more sort of elongated. Right, the Modigliani-esque. But they have the same energy to them oh yeah maybe the technique is a little heightened yeah but it is this thing of like that i think you know burton is fighting at this point in his career where people are like does he like care about anything is he so cynical he's just doing an impression of himself and i think he's like i don't know i'm like trying to make the most honest thing i can right to some degree and i don't really know why it's working or I don't know, I'm like trying to make the most honest thing I can to some degree and I don't really know
Starting point is 00:52:46 why it's working or it isn't. Right. Sure. You know? Yeah. And people like it. Sometimes people sell it successfully.
Starting point is 00:52:54 Right. Sometimes they don't. I think that thing was fascinating when they, the show is flooded with people but there are people who don't afford it.
Starting point is 00:53:02 Right. You can't buy art. Right. So they sell the posters. Like, you know, I like all that stuff a lot. The fact that he's always been, weirdly, a populist guy despite being esoteric. That Burton's style is so
Starting point is 00:53:13 unique, but he hits as a major studio filmmaker. I was going to ask about the artist, her legacy. I don't feel like she's really considered an established... She's more an outsider, is the sense I've always had
Starting point is 00:53:30 of her reputation. I think now her work is viewed as a fad. That was like Pet Rocks. That was a period of time where everyone had one. Kitsch is certainly the word. It's the kind of thing that you could buy in a Walgreens, rather than at like an art like an art museum right norman rockwell
Starting point is 00:53:50 asco most yeah even kitchier who's the one who paints those weird kinkade yes uh master of light yes right the painter of light him it's like that right but but he she was like i mean he with her art was like the first example of someone really understanding how to like franchise their work like that and I think because
Starting point is 00:54:10 they blew it up so big it's lasting legacy is it's a fad because it got too loud right that then when people got over it they like totally
Starting point is 00:54:18 threw it away yeah of course because it was everywhere even at the time no art critics like took it seriously sure like Rockwell
Starting point is 00:54:23 you don't think Terrence Stamps into it? I don't know. It's hard to read that character and where he stands on the paintings. But someone like Rockwell, his reputation now is upheld by all those filmmakers. It's like Lucas and Spielberg and all these guys love Rockwell. But Rockwell still isn't taken seriously as an artist. They're like, that's a thing you buy at like a fucking Walmart you know I guess well Rockwell was in like the U.S.
Starting point is 00:54:49 what's it called um you know one of those weekly periodicals right that's where he was I forget what it's um Saturday Evening Post that was yes right um but you know Rockwell probably would hang in a museum I don't know if some of his work also had a political dimension. Yeah, exactly. Particularly with the, you know, I think people have come around to it more now. I don't know about Keen. Keen, I feel like, right,
Starting point is 00:55:11 she's more in that sort of mass market-y zone. Yeah. But I know what you mean about outsider art and then it was, who else would have thought to do,
Starting point is 00:55:19 it's so specific, especially in this pre-anime, pre-Japanese influence era, like the idea of these sort of like cute children, like where it's sort of like they're almost creepily cute. Like what's going on? Right. There's nothing like that in Western culture. Why are they crying?
Starting point is 00:55:36 Because I think she's a very sad person. Well, she was locked in her turpentine dungeon. Right. She picks up on other people's innate sadness. Like she's just like a very fragile. You think she's an empath? I think she's an empath i think she's an empath i think that's what that scene the supermarket's about yeah i mean that seems interesting that's another thing though i feel where i feel like are we gonna do more of it you know what i mean like your arguments are fine i know what you're
Starting point is 00:55:59 saying but i think that is the take on it is just like she sees everyone's sadness like that's the overpowering thing that she's picking up on and she's a sad lady right so it is just like she sees everyone's sadness like that's the overpowering thing that she's picking up on and she's a sad lady right so she is just like i don't know that's what like people look like to me big eyes big eyes richard yeah oh kristen ritter's in the movie jessica jones herself kind of surprising that she doesn't become like a like a burton kind of regular she certainly has feels yeah yeah. That's a good point. Right. I guess she got busy
Starting point is 00:56:26 being Jessica. She could have been Winona and Beetlejuice in a different era. Right. 100%. Eva Green becomes his new muse.
Starting point is 00:56:33 Well, she bewitched him. She bewitched him. John Pulido. One of his last performances. I love him. Great John Pulido. Love John Pulido. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:40 He's the guy who's like, what? I run a place. Oh, I love him. Hang up your arm. What do I care? I got a beret. He's like a Simpsons character. Yeah. What's the guy who's like, what? We're in a place. Oh, I love him. Hang up your arm. What do I care? I got a beret. He's like a Simpsons character.
Starting point is 00:56:48 What's your favorite Polito? Fucking Miller's Crossing. Yeah, right. Try to give me the high hat. High hat is one of the greatest terms. It is one of the greatest terms. Try to give me the high hat. Polito I love. Danny Houston in just one of those
Starting point is 00:57:02 Danny Houston performances. He sits behind a desk and is sort of satanic. I just wanted to work with Tim Burton. Well, that's the same thing with the Schwartzman thing. It's very weird to have Schwartzman playing this character. Wandering in from anything else or a Woody Allen movie. Because he has one dialogue scene and then there are three reaction shots. I like it.
Starting point is 00:57:21 He's funny in it. I like the one where he's like, why would anyone want any of them? Yeah, why would you want credit? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. No, He's funny in it. I like the one where he's like, why would anyone want any of them? Why would you want credit? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. No, it's funny, but at the time, I mean, I guess 2014,
Starting point is 00:57:31 like, Schwartzman's peak had sort of, he was down from his kind of height. I mean, he's, let's see. Yeah. He just,
Starting point is 00:57:39 I don't know. He's just in so much stuff. I think Schwartzman turns down a lot of big studio stuff too. You know, he'd done Bored to Death, which had wrapped up a couple years earlier. Yeah. And then he's working on Mozart in the Jungle.
Starting point is 00:57:52 I forgot he was a writer on that. He was one of the creators on that. Yeah, right. That's weird. He turns down a lot of big studio franchise-y stuff. He's one of those guys where it's like, I don't care if the part isn't interesting and would rather play a smaller part. Right.
Starting point is 00:58:08 He does a lot of small parts. Right. In general, like looking at his, uh, you know, his movies. Who's he related to again?
Starting point is 00:58:15 The whole Coppola family. He's one of them. It's that tree with the Coppolas and cage. Sure. Right. Um, all true. All true.
Starting point is 00:58:24 The eyes are big. Our friend, oure reed joe reed texted us he went to a movie trivia night and the question was how many academy award nominations to the coppola family have bro what was super tricky about it was it included in laws right yes so it included patricia arquette and spike j, which I don't think is fair. No, that's not fair. No, it didn't seem fair. Was there anyone else, too? There was one, like, who is Talia Shire married to?
Starting point is 00:58:53 Oh, she was married to... Wasn't there that, too? Yes. Oh, fuck. Well, it's a Schwarzman, right. No, but Schwarzman never got any nominations, right? No, I know, but, like, isn't her... Oh, no, she was married to David Shire.
Starting point is 00:59:06 That's who it was. The composer. Right. Of like great jazz scores. Because Schwartzman produced Being There, but Being There wasn't nominated for Best Picture. Rude. Very rude.
Starting point is 00:59:20 Okay, can I make a couple more defenses? Oh my God. Yeah, sure, go ahead. What else is going to happen in this episode? Griffin has a stack of papers. Well, you can criticize the movie. Yes. I'm going to defend myself.
Starting point is 00:59:30 I'm representing myself in this trial, okay? First of all, it's a good looking $10 million movie. Yeah. Bruno Del Bonel shot it and he's one of the greats in my opinion. And I think the production design is great. There's that great shot when she first shows up in San Francisco and she's meeting Kristen Ritter and it's like at the top of the hill. It just looks good. It looks period. It's like...
Starting point is 00:59:49 And that's a big thing. The colors really pop in this movie. Sure. I think the compositions are really interesting. And coming right after fucking... You disagree? He's shaking his head. Doesn't like the comps? Big comps. He's got a lot of good
Starting point is 01:00:05 two shots. There's a lot of really smart coverage in this movie where he's not just cutting in between talking heads. Even that scene in the house before they leave Christoph Waltz, before he locks them in and starts throwing matches through the keyhole. He's sort of
Starting point is 01:00:22 doing the Night of the Hunter, like big shadows from that triangle house. It's a weird house. Right. It's a weird house. And he's like real lonely like coverage where they're just like
Starting point is 01:00:30 stuck in the middle of like his looming silhouette. Like stuff like that I love. And I think you go like this is coming after like Alice in Wonderland where it's like he has like $200 million.
Starting point is 01:00:40 Right after Dark Shadows. Yes. Right. But $200 million and a green screen and he can do whatever he want and it looks like nothing yeah and you're reminded of the practicality of this guy being able to come up with good images if you actually give him a location even not designing his own sets even not like building a fucking forest he can shoot a house
Starting point is 01:00:59 in a way that is more compelling than most people as a visualist. I don't disagree with that. I also think that the, like there are a lot of really funny edits in this movie. Go on. Like, I think he, I think these are fair things to talk about with Burton and we're almost done with Burton. Yes.
Starting point is 01:01:13 So I want to bring up some of these things that are just innate to, even when he's making a bad movie and I'm not saying this is a bad movie, but that he usually is able to retain to some degree. Right. I think this comes out of being an animator and that he was literally the guy who was having to, like, create his own shots and time them and figure out how to, like, make each shot as effective as possible
Starting point is 01:01:33 because you don't want to animate 30,000 shots. There was, like, a really good cut. The build of Christoph Waltz coming into the bar to take the paintings after the Polito story has broken out in the newspaper. Polito bringing him into the back kitchen. Then having that look of like, we're getting headlines. And then the hard cut to Polito chasing,
Starting point is 01:01:55 you know, Waltz out of the kitchen, screaming, putting on the show for everyone else. And the way they cut to Schwarzman or Houston or all those people when the things are kind of like going. Here's another thing we haven't talked about
Starting point is 01:02:08 at all. Okay? Opening credit sequence is good which you know Burton's always good at. Even in his bad movies like even playing The Apes
Starting point is 01:02:16 it's like he's very good at like setting the tone of what he wants the movie to be and what the big visual motif is and all of that. Right?
Starting point is 01:02:23 I think Burton doesn't get enough credit for how good he is at sound because i think in every one of his movies there's a lot of smart sound design work in terms of how each uh environment feels different uh when he has like the creaking of the floorboards in a house you know i mean it comes out of like old william castle like shock tactics and all of that but i feel like even something like dark shadows that's all over the place he like gets the feel of the mansion in that movie in the same way that in this film i feel like the courtroom sounds very different than their houses do when it's a
Starting point is 01:03:01 smaller house when they're sort of drowning in a bigger palace when she's in Hawaii. I think he's really good at setting, like, an aural tone to environments. Do you like Tim Burton? I like him,
Starting point is 01:03:15 and I just want him to be making good movies. This movie is okay. This movie's good. It's fine, which is worse, in a way, you know? I agree.
Starting point is 01:03:22 Like, I wish I, like, hated it. Basically, what Griffin's saying, like, when you cite these specific shots and stuff, like, the matches, the lumines you know I agree like I wish I like hated it basically what Griffin's saying like when you say these specific shots and stuff like the matches the lumi I'm like yeah
Starting point is 01:03:30 but then there's also just so much in this movie that feels like filler to me see I'm so engrossed by this movie I mean
Starting point is 01:03:36 no I'm with Richard it's fun to read about it it's crazy that they painted I mean they didn't even paint
Starting point is 01:03:42 she painted he didn't paint he didn't paint He didn't paint No paint He maybe never painted Richard Yeah I forgot to ask
Starting point is 01:03:49 What do you think of like Tim Burton in general Now that we're sort of Talking Bert Tim Burton is somebody who I think First became aware of With Batman Returns
Starting point is 01:03:58 And then I think I was like Kind of Okay There was a Beetlejuice cartoon Yes And I was like I know this is based on something Sure So I kind of I guess at some point Must have sought okay, there was a Beetlejuice cartoon. Yes. And I was like, I know this is based on something.
Starting point is 01:04:06 Sure. So I kind of, I guess at some point must have sought that out, but was a little wary of it because I didn't like that it was going to be gross. Sure. Oh, there's bugs. And the cartoon, they're friends. Yeah. Right. In the movie, they are not.
Starting point is 01:04:15 That's exactly right. That also made me kind of nervous. Right. I was like, wait, he's bad? Carson's kind of Calvin Hobbes type. Yeah. Unlikely friendship. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:22 Hobbs type unlikely friendship. And so then after that, I went to go see Mars Attacks in the theater, walked out with my sister, and I was like, oh, that was bad. So you didn't stay in a legend. Then I got home, and I was like, wait, no, I love that movie. Wow, it took that. It was only the journey home. It was really quick. I think it was just not what I was expecting.
Starting point is 01:04:42 Sure. So anyway, I considered myself like, I was like, I will happily go see every Tim Burton movie. And then pretty quickly after that, he started letting me down. And then by the time we got to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which after listening to your episode, I think I need to revisit. I was like, fuck this. I hate all this. I hate the rapping oompa loompas or whatever it was.
Starting point is 01:04:59 I was just like, I don't, I can't do this. And then Alice in Wonderland, you know. But of course, I course, your biggest credit, you are the pull quote on the Blu-ray for Mrs. Peregrine's Home for Physical Years. Best in years, which is not necessarily a compliment. No, I think
Starting point is 01:05:14 Mrs. Peregrine felt like a return to something that that world felt like what you're talking about, more fully realized. And I think that going back to Dark Shadows the way that he stages the town is great. I love that little seaside town.
Starting point is 01:05:30 You know so like I think maybe he's coming back to something. I think that Alice in Wonderland was just such a mess of CGI and green screen and all that shit and it's just so awful. You need to keep him on sets. Yeah exactly. Keep him on sets. Keep him away from CGI
Starting point is 01:05:45 fill-in shit as much as possible. It's also one of those things where like, it is very difficult. There are very few people who are good at composing images in green screen movies.
Starting point is 01:05:55 There are also very few eyes that have ever been this big. Yeah, that is true. You don't say, you watch Alita, which has a lot of CGI stuff in it. It has more practical locations than I thought there would be.
Starting point is 01:06:05 Well, they built like the city set. They had like that. But like Rodriguez through like all his trial and error of doing all those movies and Cameron certainly, like they understand how to compose a frame
Starting point is 01:06:16 in a green screen space that still looks like how you would shoot a movie. But most directors need to be on a set, see where the actors are blocked in relation to the walls and the architecture and then figure out their angles and how to light and all that sort of stuff. Right, right, right. And so when you get like Alice in Wonderland where he's like, I don't know, walk towards the camera.
Starting point is 01:06:34 Yeah, they're just anywhere. And then he just hands the footage to someone and they paint a thousand tulips jerking off. They did do that, which was weird. There's that weird tulip bukkake scene. In Tulip Feverip fever yeah you're talking tulip fever and I was like tulips keep coming
Starting point is 01:06:49 can I express my thoughts like a bukkake party yes so I've been kind of going through Neil Young Bob Dylan some of these like
Starting point is 01:07:02 you know really established musicians the Tim B Burton's of music their later stuff okay because we all have like the albums that represent like their peak and it's like sort of oh my god they still were putting out music
Starting point is 01:07:16 are you trying to reassess the later work to see if it has merit also who are you thinking of as a musician analog I don't really have it. I'm just saying more. This is what I'm going through. So like.
Starting point is 01:07:27 You're talking about how like the Rolling Stones like released like 10 more albums after all of their good albums. And they sell really well and no one talks about them. And so the Rolling Stones is this perfect example because it's like, you know, when I was a younger man, I used to be like, I don't want to listen to some old fucking dude. But now, of course, I've grown and matured and I've realized like they are a master at what they do. So they're on the planet longer.
Starting point is 01:07:51 They've experienced more life. They actually write better music and songs. So I've been reassessing all of these people's like back catalogs. I have a big... The back end of the catalog.
Starting point is 01:08:03 But then you think of Rolling Stones and they've continued to put music out and continue to play but it's garbage. Back catalog. I have a big. The back end of the catalog. But then you think of Rolling Stones. Yeah. They've continued to put music out. Yeah. Continue to play, but it's garbage. I'm going to.
Starting point is 01:08:13 So I kind of feel like with Tim Burton. Yeah. And I know. They feel like late period Rolling Stones. Yes. Tim Burton. Yeah. Should stop.
Starting point is 01:08:21 He has nothing more to say. I'm going to say something. He's not the master. Ben, Ben. And we might have to cut this out. Oh. Just FYI. It's not a big deal. It's just. I was going to say something. He's not the master. Ben, Ben. And we might have to cut this out. So just FYI. It's not a big deal. It's just I was talking to Alex Ross Perry the other week at his wife's birthday. And he debuted this theory to me.
Starting point is 01:08:34 And I'm not sure if this theory is like fit for public consumption yet. So just in case it's not, I'll check with him. Okay. Basically, there's no director. We were talking about this. Yes. Yes. basically there's no director.
Starting point is 01:08:43 We were talking about this. Yes. Yes. Apart from maybe in the classic era where the last part of their career is their best chunk of their career. You know, like if you were going to say like, what are their five best,
Starting point is 01:08:55 you know, five films in a row. They went out on top. Yeah. There's no director where you'd be like, the last five films are the best five. Right. We don't know what U-Bowl's going to do.
Starting point is 01:09:03 So, let's not. And Burton's definitely pretty emblematic of that like he's a classic example of that where yeah yeah the thing that you and I were talking about off of this is that like most filmmakers have a run where they're like most in the pocket and like M. Night Shyamalan has talked about this a lot about how he like scared himself into trying to make good movies again. Because he's like, when I started out, I was like very naive about a lot of things. Right.
Starting point is 01:09:32 And I was developing my technical craft. Right. And like Sixth Sense, when you like get to that, it's like the perfect fulcrum point between like what I don't know and what I do know. And then I start overthinking things. Right. know and then I start overthinking things like right you know not immediately unbreakable rules but it's like more and more he starts relying on his own experiences like well I know how to make a movie right like clearly I've been proven right right so he's not second guessing himself he's not holding his feet to the flame and he's just trusting his own instincts rather than interrogating his instincts you know and he also is relying on the fact of like, I have technical skill at this point.
Starting point is 01:10:06 I know how to compose a shot. I know how to edit a sequence. So I shouldn't second guess myself. And he said like, I had to mortgage my house to be scared enough that my movie started getting a little interesting. Good to be scared, but also bad to be scared. Yes.
Starting point is 01:10:21 Spooky. But the other part of that is, I think like filmmakers, and it's not always the first part of their career. Sometimes it's the middle. Itooky. But the other part of that is, I think, like, filmmakers, and it's not always the first part of their career, sometimes it's the middle, it's never really the end, I agree, is like, they hit a point where they're sort of just in sync with the culture.
Starting point is 01:10:34 You know? Right. So, like... Well, that's the thing, and I think Burton was so Gen X-y and, like, yeah, there was a certain... And now he's out of sync with the culture. He works less post-9-11 because you're kind of like, why is this guy complaining so much about living in the suburbs where everything's
Starting point is 01:10:49 bright and sunny? But what about if he's complaining about the meat pies and London's a big black pit? That sort of sarcastic cynicism about happy people. Right. What was that character, Emily or something?
Starting point is 01:11:07 Emily the Strange. Yeah, you know, it's like that kind of era of things. Why didn't Tim Burton ever make one of those? I think he maybe was in that. Right? Yeah. Or, like, when I was in, like, middle school, early high school, like, I was obsessed with Edward Gorey,
Starting point is 01:11:19 the Gashly Cartinis and all that stuff. And it's like, I still think that that's wonderful stuff, but it's also just, like like we're not sort of at that macabre sort of like cute, but we're not at Big Eyes. You know? No one's buying a Big Eyes painting now. That stuff kind of plays better when culture is kind of normal
Starting point is 01:11:36 and then people want to escape into things to be cynical about. When things are bad, you want Paddington. Yeah. Well, right. And I also think that like... Imagine if Paddington had been married to Christoph Waltz. I don't know. It was my marmalade.
Starting point is 01:11:50 It was my recipe. I made it all along. I was in the kitchen with Knuckles McGinty. See, I knew if I just threw that up to you, you'd knock it out of the park. My marmalade. Sorry, go on, Richard. I was just saying that like, but pre-internet, Tim Burton offered maybe not exact haven for people who were weird or goth or whatever. But now they can just go to any fucking forum.
Starting point is 01:12:15 They can find their absolute niche. And Burton is just like, oh, but what about my thing? And they're like, well, we don't need that. It's too inexact. And he's less in touch with his thing, I think. Just in general. He's a rich guy do you think he got addicted to the money
Starting point is 01:12:26 I think he got addicted to those greenbacks I don't know this is the thing we often with these miniseries we got a real grasp on the director's personality and where they're at but with Burton after he gets married which we talk about and has kids and stuff we kind of
Starting point is 01:12:43 lose any kind of hold on him in terms of like, what's up with Tim Burton? Right. Because he gives these kind of laconic interviews. Yeah. He does these like laconic director commentaries. Yeah. And he sort of like works a lot.
Starting point is 01:12:56 Do you think Big Ears is going to be any good? I hope so. I mean, our friends who have seen it. Say it's pretty good. And some of our friends who are not predisposed to liking late period Burton movies have been very I mean no one has told me
Starting point is 01:13:08 like this thing is a fucking masterpiece but most reactions have been positive it looks good but I'll tell you what both you and I have heard a lot of
Starting point is 01:13:15 it kind of secretly rolls like we've had the people in hushed tones like being like I'm a little embarrassed to say this but it like kind of secretly fucks
Starting point is 01:13:23 because I could see it kind of rolls that's what we're hearing kind of secretly fucked. Because I could see... It kind of rules. That's what we're hearing. It doesn't rule. Big ears. I could see Burton having a sort of late-career-y thing, which is something I think works about Miss Peregrine. Because I like stuff about time travel and shifting.
Starting point is 01:13:37 Your favorite movie of all time to be clear. My absolute favorite movie, well, after Spanglish, is that kind of wistful feeling rather than the kind of like creepy cute kind of thing like a more sort of like I'm older now time has passed I realize the world is like sad
Starting point is 01:13:55 in a different way and like Dumbo could totally tap into that 100% I think Peregrine is a classic BBP movie I think Asa doesn't work and he doesn't totally crack that character. Have you seen Sex Education? No. I'm like, why does that kid keep getting acting roles?
Starting point is 01:14:12 I'm sorry. We talk about this on that episode. He's better when he's British. Yes. But it is one of those things where I think he, you know, and this is the argument you can throw at big guys. He used to be so good at the sort of alienated protagonist. And as time goes on, those characters start to feel more and more disingenuous. Like, that's the thing he's not connecting with.
Starting point is 01:14:36 Right. Is the outsider, which used to be his specialty. Uh-huh. You can only do that for so long. Right. The fact that he seems more interested in vaults, perhaps, than Amy Adams in this movie. That acid butterfield is like so kind of irrelevant in that film. A similar thing with Alice, where I think once she lands in Wonderland, he loses her. I kind of think the first 20 minutes of Alice, when it's live action, he feels like he has that character. And then she like flutters away.
Starting point is 01:15:03 Look at this. This is tomorrow forever. This is the painting that she did for the World's Fair that Robert Moses rejected on the grounds of being too frightening. Tomorrow now. Tomorrow forever.
Starting point is 01:15:15 What the fuck does Robert Moses know? He was horrible. Yeah. He wasn't so great either, but it is this sort of bizarre, blasted, like yellow alien landscape with steps. Right. And then an army of big eyed children yellow alien landscape with steps right and then an army of
Starting point is 01:15:27 big-eyed children just kind of walking towards her what does margaret keen know yeah it's coming weird yeah i wouldn't say it's awesome exactly but it's certainly like i want to know about the person who did that yeah but then it turns out the story was well chris she married christoph waltz and i'm like red flag mistake number one and she you know had to stay inside all day and paint big eyes I mean they created an industry
Starting point is 01:15:50 I mean good for her that she moved to Hawaii I like that that's her pivot yeah and that house is beautiful yeah it's a great pivot and I was thinking about that too
Starting point is 01:15:58 I was like when's the last time I saw Tim Burton do something that was so warm and like peaceful and set in the world you know
Starting point is 01:16:04 and I think that that's nice. I mean, I think this movie's merits are aesthetic, you know, for the most part. I mean, the performances are,
Starting point is 01:16:10 well, I find Christoph Waltz so off-putting. I know that's kind of the point, but like, it's just like, by the time you get to the courtroom, you're like,
Starting point is 01:16:17 oh my God, someone like, killed this guy. Like, he's so awful. I'm very in the bag for Waltz. I like him a lot, even though he can sometimes
Starting point is 01:16:24 kind of repeat himself. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I mean, what's he doing now? Oh, we know what he is doing next. He directed a movie. He directed a movie.
Starting point is 01:16:32 What? It's at Tribeca. It's called Georgetown. What's it about? Georgetown? No, I don't know what it's about. Let's find out. They announced four years ago that,
Starting point is 01:16:43 longer ago, they announced in 2010 that Universal Studios was making an Emily the Strange movie with Chloe Grace Moritz. Oh. She's all wrong for it. What? That's not right. That's terrible. Kristen Ritter or whatever.
Starting point is 01:16:56 In December 20, well, it's supposed to be very young. Well, a young Kristen Ritter. In 2016, it was reported that Universal had abandoned the project. Dark Horse Entertainment and Amazon Studios were in negotiations to make an animated film. A social climber becomes the main suspect in his wealthy wife's death.
Starting point is 01:17:15 Oh, that sounds interesting. It just sounds like Reversal of Fortune, which, like, if you made Reversal of Fortune now, Christoph Waltz would play Klaus von Bulow and he'd be like,
Starting point is 01:17:23 I did not kill my wife. Who is in the film? It looks like Vanessa Redgrave and Annette Bening and Corey Hawkins round out the cast. Interesting. And here's a picture also of Waltz in the movie. Saluting.
Starting point is 01:17:40 Directorial debut of an actor premiering at Tribeca is sometimes a dicey proposition no offense to the Tribeca Film Festival why? it's just sort of like because it means it didn't get into Sundance yeah it's a slightly lower tier film festival
Starting point is 01:17:54 I don't know usually when an actor has directed a movie you're kind of like well this could go anyway sometimes it works out. I saw that guy's divorce movie. Gonna need more. Yeah, just a little bit.
Starting point is 01:18:12 Weird looking. Dano is his last name. Paul Dano. Oh, wildlife you're thinking of. Yeah. It's funny that you said Dano is his last name. It is that guy's divorce movie. Not how I would describe that one.
Starting point is 01:18:25 I think that's a fair assessment. I like that movie fine. That's on the higher end of actors making a directorial debut at a festival. Their eyes are too small. They didn't have big eyes. Although the kid has some big eyes. Can I read a thing?
Starting point is 01:18:41 Nine years ago, right after Inglourious Bastards, Christoph Waltz announced he was going to move, transition to directing in a film that never got made. Emily the Strange. Was announced. I will play Emily. She is so strange.
Starting point is 01:18:57 Announced post-Oscar 2010, Christoph Waltz was going to make a German comedy called Off an Davon. Translates into Up, Up and Away. Translates into Big Eyes? Can I read this description and imagine him also playing the host? I assume he was going to play the host. Sure. A romantic farce centered on the ruthless host of a dating competition show who develops feelings for one of her contestants.
Starting point is 01:19:26 Oh, so I guess the host is female? Her contestants. So he's one of the contestants? Maybe. I don't know. It doesn't say. I would love to take you on a date. I am Zabatcha.
Starting point is 01:19:36 I am Zabatcha. The actor's also considered taking a supporting role in the film. Right. I think that sounds like a great Christoph Waltz movie. There's a lot of movies that I'd love to plug him into. Yeah. What's he doing in broadcast news?
Starting point is 01:19:49 Show me that. You know what I mean? Like, I want to see him play like a newspaper boss or something like. Sure. You know, people always cast him as villains
Starting point is 01:19:55 and that's fine. Yeah. He plays a fine villain. It's just a little boring. Like, I want to see him do more of that kind of middle character. Well, here's a pitch.
Starting point is 01:20:04 What if he plays J. Jonah Jameson? Sure. That'd be weird. That's like the one Marvel character they won't recast. They haven't cast him, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just get Simmons back. Yeah, that's what I want.
Starting point is 01:20:14 I want them to just be like Simmons and you just do a different performance. Sure. Right. Yeah, just bring him back. You're still the right actor. Just come up with a new take on the guy. Redo the movie Jack with Christoph Waltz.
Starting point is 01:20:27 I am five years old. I am but a child. They could probably get Jennifer Lopez again. I want my nap time and my juice. Cosby might be tricky. He can Skype in.
Starting point is 01:20:40 Big sentence. I don't know. The small German boy looks like a man this is Christoph Waltz for Jell-O like the Jell-O pudding pops
Starting point is 01:20:52 they jiggle give him a sitcom put him in the Conners could you imagine Griffin doing the impression have him marry a Connor could you imagine Griffin doing the impression
Starting point is 01:21:02 could you imagine Christoph Waltz like Thursdays at 8 on CPS yes exactly Christ imagine Can you imagine Christoph Waltz like Thursdays at 8 on CPS? Yes, exactly. Christoph! Christoph! Christoph!
Starting point is 01:21:10 How are things down at the, you know, the plant? It should be called Take This Waltz. I am just a blue-collar American worker. It is kind of like
Starting point is 01:21:20 if there's another direction for him it would be that thing where they were just like Arnold Schwarzenegger will just play Americans and it won't be addressed exactly yes i worked so hard to put the meats and potatoes on the table it's like how in like liam neeson movies like sometimes they're like yeah like we'll call him something weird and like that that'll indicate that he's
Starting point is 01:21:38 not from america but sometimes they don't i grew up in chicago it's so weird when he does that. I'm just a local Colorado boy. Howdy, y'all. Are you listening to me? I'm Abraham Lincoln. On this podcast a while ago, we were doing a joke about Harrison Ford being in Lincoln and just like, damn it, Lincoln. Every time I think about it,
Starting point is 01:22:04 it makes me laugh. Damn it, Lincoln. Every time I think about it, it makes me laugh. Damn it, Lincoln. Big Eyes. Big Eyes. Big Eyes! Oh, we didn't talk about the Lana Del Rey song. Yes!
Starting point is 01:22:14 One of which is just called Big Eyes. With your big eyes and your big life. And it plays in the movie. It does. It does. And the other one's called
Starting point is 01:22:24 I Can Fly, I believe. And that's at the end. Is does. It does. And the other one's called I Can Fly, I believe. And that's at the end. Is I spelled E-Y-E? It should have been. I believe Big Eyes was nominated for Golden Globe. I believe it was. Not a Golden Oscar.
Starting point is 01:22:36 So Lana Del Rey is a Golden Globe nominee. Yeah. Yeah. Did we get Lana Del Rey? I really don't. I don't know if I like her music. I think that first album
Starting point is 01:22:44 is still really good. Yeah. I like Young and Beautiful. You know, I like some of music. I think that first album is still really good. I like Young and Beautiful. I like some of those songs. I like that she seems a little in on the joke. Or a lot in on the joke. The whole argument when everyone was like, it's a made-up persona. It's like, that's the history
Starting point is 01:22:57 of pop music. What are you talking about? This was also her weird quarter. She had a couple years where she was mostly a movie song person. Right. She did a lot of them. She did the Great Gatsby songs. Maleficent.
Starting point is 01:23:08 She did Maleficent, the cover. It was like every movie had a like, and now the single from Lana Del Rey. Right. Either her covering something or writing an original. Did we mention how big the eyes are? I don't know if we talked about that. In the movie? We should bring that up. Oh, yeah. That's right. The eyes are very big.'t know if we talked about that maybe we should bring that up
Starting point is 01:23:25 the eyes are very big we've talked about all the performances the judge James Saito you know how I sometimes will just tweet at people just a photo with no text I used to do this a big one a reaction photo from Amy Adams on the set of Big Eyes
Starting point is 01:23:41 her expression is just like something about it makes me laugh it is wild when they do the classic on the set of Big Eyes. Her expression is just like something about it just makes me laugh. It is wild when they do the classic, which I am, I mean, look, I know people make fun of this all the time. They make fun of this all the time. This is one of the few cases when they show the real people, they look a lot like
Starting point is 01:23:56 the characters in the movie. Yes, I mean, but I just want to make this clear. I am such a sucker for the photo of the real person. I don't care. Do it. Show me the real person. Blow it up. Show me eight photos. I mean, I do think it's hilarious in Green Book that they couldn't find a photo of them together, which is like...
Starting point is 01:24:11 I wonder why. I thought it was based on true friendship. It is based on true friendship. How dare you? But I love a photo of the real person. The staging of the real person and the actress together is more unusual. Yes.
Starting point is 01:24:26 But I kind of admire the boldness of that. But yes, when you see the picture of her, you're like, what? That was her hair. Oh, yeah. That's very intense. Like Bob. Yeah. Right.
Starting point is 01:24:33 Yeah. And she's still alive painting her fucking painting. That's the other thing is like she just paints every day. Talking about Jehovah. That's like her expression. Like that's her thing. And she can't psychoanalyze her own process. And that's Burton's
Starting point is 01:24:46 like Tim Burton. And sometimes he's totally in sync with the culture and he becomes an industry but he doesn't really know what to do with it. You know? And Christoph Waltz
Starting point is 01:24:55 was the opposite. Like he was just the salesman. He understood the position. Right, which is what he's good at. This is nominated for an Independent Spirit Award for Best Screenplay.
Starting point is 01:25:04 I think it's an excellent screenplay. I do think it would be better. I agree with the take from Twitter. It probably would be a better film structured around the court case. The flashbacks, yeah. Well, because the court case is so compelling. And because of the narrative
Starting point is 01:25:19 strictures of how long a movie can be, they kind of have to rush it. But this is kind of the whole thing. And the other thing is, yes, I mean, it would maybe be more satisfying if that's a superstructure
Starting point is 01:25:28 and you can keep cutting back and forth. And then the other thing is, I think what's interesting about this character, about all these people, these like highly successful sociopaths who just like lie and lie and lie and lie and lie
Starting point is 01:25:38 is that they truly don't believe they're lying. Right. And there's something kind of fascinating to maybe doing a movie where you show a little more of how he remembers things being. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:48 Because this is clearly a guy who's rewriting his own reality. I mean, I like that scene a lot with the daughter where they're like convincing her
Starting point is 01:25:54 that she didn't see the mother. it's creepy. With the painting. And that's like, I agree is like a failing of this movie is that the older daughter
Starting point is 01:26:02 is not very good. She's just like, I always believed you mom. So you can't really like dive into like her perspective. Because that character is interesting. Because she had to live with that asshole for like so long,
Starting point is 01:26:10 you know, and be kind of gaslit by. That's the thing. I think like, you know, it's an interesting subject when these children grow up in like weird households
Starting point is 01:26:18 and are just completely like accepting memories that they are told. Yeah. You know, by the parents who are trying to write what their past was. I wonder what she's doing now. The daughter?
Starting point is 01:26:29 Yeah. Making even bigger eyes. She wrote Dumbo. Yeah. Right. Big ears. Yes. And big nose is coming next.
Starting point is 01:26:36 Pinocchio? Oh. I think he already turned it down. Do we know what Burton's doing after Dumbo? No. Shrug. No idea. What's he going to do?
Starting point is 01:26:44 Oh, bye. Goodbye. What the heck? He's telling him to get out of here. Get out of here. I mean, look. Go away.
Starting point is 01:26:52 There's a bit of the Simpsons thing with Burton where it's just like it kind of sucks that the Simpsons is still on the air. Yes, for sure.
Starting point is 01:27:01 I mean, certainly true with the Simpsons. You know, in the same way between Burton and Simpsons. There's now been twice as much Simpsons. You know, in the same way, like, between, like, Burton and Simpsons. There's now been, like, twice as much Simpsons that's bad than good. It used to be that there was the same. Right. And now it's, like, we're getting close to 20 bad seasons versus 10 good ones.
Starting point is 01:27:14 Right. Because, like, The Simpsons is, like, 10 seasons. Burton, it's, like, the first 10 movies. And for me, those things are, like, you can bring up your qualms, but it's a pretty incredible run. You know, for that first 10. And then you get to the period where it's just like the shining spots are so few and far between. And you have to do a lot of heavy lifting to really like argue their worth. Now, this is my question to the three of you.
Starting point is 01:27:38 This movie is his second lowest grossing film ever. $14 million domestic, $29 worldwide worldwide so then after this disney announces that he's making dumbo right after this they announced it what did he make a peregrine i guess uh i feel like maybe he signed on five years before pair and before dumbo i think he signed on to dumbo early okay because they shot it a while ago. There was a lot of CGI. Okay, but they didn't shoot it five years ago.
Starting point is 01:28:08 But I think he attached himself pretty early. Anyway, the point is, I remember them announcing Dumbo. 2015, so yeah,
Starting point is 01:28:15 you're correct. Thank you. I agree with you. Now? Yeah. Now you agree with me. He was announced as the director.
Starting point is 01:28:22 Yeah, they didn't start making it until two years later. Yeah, but they announced it. Stop throwing lit matches at each other. And everyone went like, oh, see, look, here's the proof. Tim Burton, he's got nothing to say. He's just remaking all the old classic Disney movies.
Starting point is 01:28:35 Yeah. And I go, if you want him to do something different, you got to show up. Oh, well, here's two things about that. One, this movie was released by the Weinstein Company, which at this point was completely unable to release a movie. Correct. Just couldn't do it anymore. Didn't have the financial resources. Right, they were insolvent.
Starting point is 01:28:51 Had that weird thing where they could only have one movie in a theater at a time. Yeah. Two, it was released Christmas Day, which is an abominable time to release this movie. It should have come out in April. Yeah. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:29:03 This movie needs a lot of space three i'm pretty sure 14 million is the ceiling for this movie anyway it's a maudie movie it maybe could get like 30 because it's got big actors but you know like this is a big guy and big and big eyes i mean it's probably the highest grossing big guy well no because you got a lead in it yeah thank you but um does box office Mojo have a tab for that? It should. Big eye movie? It should.
Starting point is 01:29:28 But, you know, this should be like a Sony Pictures Classics movie that comes out in the summer and kind of like, you know, a wife that kind of gets to sort of like, you know, loop around. What if there was a wife? Thank you. What if the book was great? What if the eyes were big? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:29:43 Okay, let's play a Box Office game. Yeah. Christmas 2014. Ooh. a box office game. Yeah. Christmas 2014. Ooh. How wide was the release that first weekend? 1,300 screens. Wow, so they immediately
Starting point is 01:29:54 went to 1,300? Why? Yeah, fuck the Weinsteins. It opened to 4 million, number 15 at the box office. That's insane of them to do that.
Starting point is 01:30:00 On Christmas. That's insane of them to do that. It's a mid-wide release. What are they thinking? Mid-wide is the worst release. That's insane of them to do that. It's a mid-wide release. Like, what are they thinking? Mid-wide is the worst release. That's when you know the distributor has no, like, faith in the movie. Idea to do what to do with it.
Starting point is 01:30:11 Because you either go little or you go wide. And mid-wide is like them being able to go like, well, we tried. We couldn't do anything. It's like eyes. Right. You know, you either go big or you don't. Right. It's the impatient platform.
Starting point is 01:30:21 I don't know. I don't have time to platform this. Yeah, you build like half a platform and you're like, get on that platform. Three quarters. Exactly, exactly. Alright, number one is Christmas 14. It's a sequel. It's a
Starting point is 01:30:36 trequel. It's a third one. It's the third. The third and final entrant in a trilogy. It's not a Hobbit, is it? It's a hobbit. Oh. Which one? The Desolation of Smaug.
Starting point is 01:30:48 There and Back Again? No. No. It's the other. Back at it. High Noon at Mega Mountain. What's the fucking, it's the last one?
Starting point is 01:30:55 It is kind of a High Noon at Mega Mountain. What if the Lord of the Rings 3 was Lord of the Rings High Noon at Mega Mountain? Wait. The third one isn't called There and Back Again? No. The first one's An Unexpected Journey. I knew it. Mega Mountain. Wait. The third one isn't called There and Back Again?
Starting point is 01:31:06 No. The first one's An Unexpected Journey. Correct. Then Smaug. Oh, it's the Battle of the Five Armies? Yes. I believe initially the first two were going to be called like- Yes.
Starting point is 01:31:15 That's what it was going to be called. Unexpected Journey, There and Back Again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But instead they split into three and the third one's called The Battle of the Five Armies, which is something that happens mostly off screen. I know I have seen that movie but I could I don't remember a single thing about it
Starting point is 01:31:27 it has like Billy Connolly as a dwarf riding a giant boar what yes right you haven't seen it no one tell me that
Starting point is 01:31:35 it has a whole 20 minute sequence where Richard Armitage is like on LSD and drowns in a pool of gold oh wait I do remember that yeah
Starting point is 01:31:42 no it's not it is weird that I have not seen the other two but now you have like a pop culture complete as i am now you might as well just wait until we do it on this podcast once we started this podcast i'm like i'm gonna wait until we get to jackson just like when does anyone ever just sort of sit down at home and think like you fire up the hobby weirdly like i got 10 you like the them don't you i like them all they are kind of bad but i was so turned off by the first one after being a
Starting point is 01:32:05 big Lord of the Rings fan that I was like, I don't care. I was kind of excited and the movie started within 10 minutes. I was like, oh my god, I have to be here for so long. There's all the dishes to do. They have a party and then they do the dishes. A lot of dishes. And then they sit around and they sing about the mountains they're going to go to and you're like,
Starting point is 01:32:21 are you guys going to leave the house? I've told this story before on the podcast but my father did not see any of the lord of the rings films and then went with me to go see the hobbit in high frame rate and when they're at like minute eight of doing the dishes he was just like what the fuck is this like he just like could not be less into anything. Well, can you tell me the Battle of the Five Armies worldwide final total? $948 million. 956. Amazing.
Starting point is 01:32:53 That's crazy. That's the thing. No one likes those hobbits that made billions of dollars. It was like jury duty. Like those three movies were like jury duty. Gotta do it. It's the Mr. Show coupon, the movie sketch. It's like a required romp.
Starting point is 01:33:08 Yes. Mandatory fund. One of your favorite. Yeah. And you know those movies came about because Peter Jackson was suing Guillermo del Toro and they went to court and the judge said, make three Hobbit movies. Right. And del Toro couldn't do it.
Starting point is 01:33:22 There literally was a- My arm is hurting. But that's what they don't say is that those movies were shot entirely in a courtroom. There was a jury who had to spend three years of their life watching Peter Jackson. They had to go through all the production.
Starting point is 01:33:37 All the blocking rehearsal. The judge was like, I give you each $250 million per picture. Now go. It is truly a crazy thing that we don't talk about that. Del Toro was so close to making those movies. Yeah, and he's credited on them. So late. And then Jackson didn't want to make
Starting point is 01:33:54 them and was like, fuck, if I don't make them, they're going to get shut down. And all my friends are like... Yes, 100%. And New Zealand was basically like, are we going to have to fire all the teachers this year? And Jackson was like I'll make the hobbits they're like yay! School stay off!
Starting point is 01:34:08 Right. It was like he felt so much guilt. It's a huge provider of the obviously big jobs in New Zealand. He talks about he talks about how he had like three months to prep. Right.
Starting point is 01:34:19 No it's insane. And he was just like I just felt bad I didn't want everyone to lose their job. When you see there's a lot of Del Toro in those movies. The monster design especially.
Starting point is 01:34:28 Especially the first one. It's just sort of like smattering. Anyway, number two. At the box office. I remember seeing him talk. And he made his take on the Hobbit sound really interesting. Del Toro? Oh, I believe it. We'll talk about that if we ever do Jackson or if we ever do Del Toro.
Starting point is 01:34:46 He's doing well. In fact, let's see how he's doing in the poll. Just posted today. It just went up today. Who's Del Toro up against today? McKernan. Here's a blast from the past.
Starting point is 01:34:56 Is he beating him? Is he sending him to jail? Not Del Toro, Jackson. Read the post. Oh, Jackson. Copy on the post. Peter, quote, the Tolkien boy, Jackson,
Starting point is 01:35:05 versus John, quote, Jail McTiernan. Go. Did you write that? Ben wrote that. Did you text it to Ange? No, he just posted it himself two hours late. Great. Oh, I love you, Ben.
Starting point is 01:35:18 I'm sorry. It's one of my favorite. Now he feels bad. I was having fun. It's one of my film Twitter favorite jokes. But when Black Panther came out and they said, so they cast Bilbo and Gollum in Black Panther. It's literally a movie with two Tolkien white guys.
Starting point is 01:35:37 Jackson is beating McTernan. That's a good joke. It's funny. It's funny. Jackson beating McTernan. 42 to 48. 52 to 48. Okay.
Starting point is 01:35:43 Very close. Okay. What's number two at the box office it's a musical huge hit Into the Woods yes another one people
Starting point is 01:35:50 forget doesn't exist doesn't exist no one likes it no one likes it well the woods were big I don't know
Starting point is 01:35:55 forget it it's so weird that Disney made that and that it made a lot of money and that she got nominated for best supporting actress
Starting point is 01:36:01 and no one will ever watch it again for the rest of time never nope it's not even a movie where like if your high school theater class I'm going to have your best supporting actress. And no one will ever watch it again for the rest of time. Never. Nope. It's not even a movie where, like, if your high school theater class is doing Into the Woods, you screen it for them. Absolutely not. It's not even that.
Starting point is 01:36:13 And it's not like when I found out, much to my horror, that, like, people younger than me, like, regularly watch the Rent movie. Which I think is, like, should be buried under a pyramid or something. But I, Into the Woods doesn't even have that weird. Right. No, Into the Woods is't even have that weird. In the East Village. Right. No, Into the Woods is just like nothing. Nothing.
Starting point is 01:36:27 Yeah, no, Into the Woods is just, you see it and like as a scene like leaves, it just leaves your brain
Starting point is 01:36:32 as they cut. And it just made like a breezy 114 domestic. I think like 125. Same. Just a cool laid back 114.
Starting point is 01:36:41 The Hobbit 3 making almost a bill. That's the thing. You guys are talking about two movies that don't exist. Get ready for number three. It does not exist. I'm loving this lineup. And made 115 million domestic, 163 worldwide.
Starting point is 01:36:54 This was a hit film. A genuine hit film. An additional 163 or that's the worldwide total? Worldwide total. So it didn't make as much. The bar was low. I've never heard of this. He's never heard of this.
Starting point is 01:37:05 115 domestic. It's like an inspirational movie. It was trying to go for Oscars. It didn't, you know. It didn't get Oscars, but it connected with the public. I guess. 115 domestic.
Starting point is 01:37:16 If you sat anyone down and said like, do you remember seeing the film? They'd be like, nope. And you'd be like, well, I have your ticket here. You clearly saw the film. They'd be like, no, I didn't.
Starting point is 01:37:23 Did it get any nominations? Inspirational, but not faith-based. Well. Well. Oh, yes. This is everyone thought this was going to be like the runaway best picture, best director. This is Unbroken. Unbroken. Angelina Jolie's Unbroken.
Starting point is 01:37:39 Oh, Jesus Christ. A full-fledged domestic blockbuster. I stood in an elevator with her for that movie, and I don't remember that movie. Do you remember a year in advance when everyone's like, this is going to be the second time a woman wins Best Director? This is the one. And that movie is also nothing.
Starting point is 01:37:53 Does it exist? Not only does that movie not exist, it wasn't well-received, particularly. No, but no one was angry about it. Everyone was just like, yeah, it's sort of perfunctory. And it made lots of money. So much money. Crazy.
Starting point is 01:38:04 Crazy. How much did it cost, though? $65 million. Oh, so it did fine. That's a of perfunctory. And it made lots of money. So much money. Crazy. Crazy. How much did it cost, though? 65 million. Oh, so it... It did fine. That's a big hit. Yeah. Big eyes.
Starting point is 01:38:10 Big eyes. She has big eyes. Yes, she does. She's got big eyes. Very big eyes. Not Alita big, but... No. Not far.
Starting point is 01:38:15 Tim Burton turned down Maleficent. Did big eyes instead. Number four. He was in talks. Wow. Number four also doesn't exist. Okay. Number four.
Starting point is 01:38:21 He was in talks. Wow, number four also doesn't exist. Okay. It's the third in a series of children's films. Is it? No, it's not Narnia 3. No, no. It's the third in a series of children's films.
Starting point is 01:38:37 It doesn't exist. Is it the last? I believe so. Is it live action or animated? Live action, but it's got a lot of CGI antics. Live action with creatures. Yeah. It's got with creatures. Yeah. It's got some creatures. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:38:48 Three of them. Oh, boy. And it's not chipmunks. No. Not chipmunks. Does it have celebrities? Big star. Do the creatures talk?
Starting point is 01:38:58 I don't know. I've never seen these fucking things. It's a big star, but it's the same big star in all three of them? Yeah. It's not the Garfield, is it? No. Big star. Smurfs? No. Big star. Smurfs?
Starting point is 01:39:07 No. No. No. No. No. They only... Because three was kind of a hard reboot. I was about to say not your Smurfs, but of course it's your Smurfs.
Starting point is 01:39:13 It takes place during my favorite time of the day. No, they're not my Smurfs. It takes place during your favorite time of the... Is it a night movie? Correct. It's a nighttime movie? Is night in the title, or is it just a big element? Night's in the title. Night's in the title. Oh, Night at the Museum 3? What's a nighttime movie? Is night in the title or is it just a big element? Night's in the title.
Starting point is 01:39:25 Night's in the title. Oh, Night at the Museum 3? What's the subtitle? Legends of Curly's Gold? I Knew to Make a Mountain. I Knew to Make a Mountain. Can I get this correct? Is it Secret of the Tomb?
Starting point is 01:39:36 Correct. Wow. And Rami Malek. That's whose tomb it is. Yeah. What's the secret? That's whose tomb it is. That he's going to win
Starting point is 01:39:42 an Oscar for being a raptor. And Ben still looks at it and his face melts off and he turns into a skull yes that's another movie that doesn't exist doesn't exist
Starting point is 01:39:50 speaking of Robbie Malick David on the last time I was on this podcast you had just seen Bohemian Rhapsody you were talking about this on Little Gold Man
Starting point is 01:39:56 yeah I was like no one's gonna be talking about that movie I was like what a piece of shit whoops won four Academy Awards
Starting point is 01:40:03 four Oscars and made close to a billion dollars. David's swinging his mic around. I don't know what to do about that. Remember when it kept winning Oscars and I was just in a cold sweat and then Roma won director and I'm like, okay, maybe I can settle down.
Starting point is 01:40:18 Best Picture went to a green book. Do you remember when we could not stop it? When Bohemian was still number five at the box office 212 weeks later. I was flying back from Mexico recently and literally everyone who's a monitor could see was watching that movie. I know a lot of people who watch it on a plane
Starting point is 01:40:35 because I feel like they also feel like well now I'm not contributing to its box office or anything like that. I can watch it on a plane. Do you remember when the last 20 minutes of that movie are just a shot for shot recreation of a concert you can just it on a plane. Do you remember when the last 20 minutes of that movie are just a shot-for-shot recreation of a concert you can just watch on YouTube instead? Correct. That is better?
Starting point is 01:40:50 Yeah, sure. Anyway, that's The Secret of the Tomb. It made $113 million. It made $363 million worldwide. That's kind of a big drop-off. Yeah. But it's still, you know. Because the first one did like $260 million.
Starting point is 01:41:00 Oh, and Amy Adams, isn't she in? She's really good in two. Is she in two? I thought she was in both. She's only in two. Well, there's three. No, I thought she was in two and three. No, and Amy Adams, isn't she in? She's really good in two. Is she in two? I thought she was in both. She's only in two. Well, there's three. No, I thought she was in two and three.
Starting point is 01:41:08 No, I don't know. She's only in two because it ends with, I think, her flying away. And then happily ever after and then she's fine and she lands wherever she's going.
Starting point is 01:41:15 You've never seen two, right? No. I'm debating whether or not to say this. What's next at the box office? Another movie that doesn't exist. Hooray.
Starting point is 01:41:24 It's another musical. It's another musical? That's? Another movie that doesn't exist! Hooray! It's another musical! It's another musical? That's right. Starring Richard's favorite actor. Did it get any Oscar traction? No. Is it an adaptation of a Broadway show? Yes. It's been done as a movie before. Dickie's favorite actor. Yes. His favorite actor.
Starting point is 01:41:39 Taron Andrews? Big Dickie Lawson. No, she's younger. Younger than Taryn Quite young She Oh Quvenzane Wallace That's right
Starting point is 01:41:50 Is Annie It's a hard knock life It's Friday For viewers I don't know No that was good I actually never saw Annie Is it bad?
Starting point is 01:41:59 I think it's like The ultimate Like Gentleman's Five Cameron Diaz in it Is pretty rough Yeah Like I understand why she retired. It's a glop.
Starting point is 01:42:06 Right. That is her last movie. It's her last movie. 85 it made. Because it was supposed to be Bullock and Willow Smith. Right. That was the whole thing with that movie was Will Smith was setting up his kids to be movie stars. And then they were like, we're not into it.
Starting point is 01:42:20 You're doing Karate Kid. You're doing Annie. Go. But the movie was like fully set up. And she was like, no, I don't really want to go to school today. Right. And like Quavate Kid you're doing Annie. But the movie was like fully set up and she was like no I don't really want to go to school today. Right.
Starting point is 01:42:26 And like Quavanzane had just got nominated. Yeah. She's cute right? Yeah. Friday. She does some musical theater training.
Starting point is 01:42:33 It is the weekend baby have fun and enjoy it. If anyone doesn't there's a great Quavanzane Wallace tweet where she was like eight years old and she has this like
Starting point is 01:42:40 world weary like thank God it's Friday. It's like what are you what are you talking about? What did you do all week? Aren't you happy that she seemingly
Starting point is 01:42:47 has just like just I think is living a normal life now. Come back to have a normal life. Yeah good for her. I was worried at Annie that they were going to keep
Starting point is 01:42:53 pushing. Yeah 100%. One good performance then you're go live a normal life. Yeah I agree. That's the top five for the box office.
Starting point is 01:43:01 We've also got Mockingjay part one. We've got The Gambler. Another movie that barely exists. We've got The Imitation Game. Today we call them Big Computers. One Best Screenplay. Exodus, which we call Big River.
Starting point is 01:43:17 A movie I like. Really? I like Noah. I like Noah. I'm into Noah. We've got Wild, Big, Hike.
Starting point is 01:43:27 You know what's crazy? This top 15, top 10 you're reading is mostly horrible films that don't exist. 2014 was a rough year. Okay, but then I was going back to
Starting point is 01:43:37 because I was trying to Well, no, not even my list. I was trying to find Is that when Birdman won? Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 01:43:42 Which is terrible. I mean, it's my least favorite Best Picture winner of the modern era. I guess I hate Green Book more. I hate Green Book. I don't know if you know about this movie called Green Book.
Starting point is 01:43:51 Hey, fuck you. I'm better than the Birdman. Get out of here. Hey, give me a sandwich. What is he called? I'll beat you in the hot dog competition. What is he called in the movie? What's his lip?
Starting point is 01:44:04 Tony Lip? Tony Lip, because I got a mouth, you know? Virtu competition. What is he called in the movie? What's his lip? Tony Lip? Tony Lip, because I got a mouth, you know? Virtuoso. It's Italian. Pretty good. We fold this pizza in half here. Hey, give me a fucking pizza. Give me a pizza as big as her eyes.
Starting point is 01:44:14 Hey, hey, hey, hey, deep south. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're racist. Okay, look, I'm racist, but you guys are being racist. I'm cool with gay people, of course. Of course, I have no problem with that at all. That makes contextual sense. I work at the Copa.
Starting point is 01:44:25 I said this to someone. I don't know if it was to Griffin. I at all. That makes contextual sense. I work at the Copa. I said this to someone. I don't know if it was to Griffin. I'd watch a movie of him being a bouncer at the Copa. Fully. That sounds like a great movie. Him just bashing skulls. All right, go ahead. Walter Keene comes through.
Starting point is 01:44:34 Green Book 2. Yeah, exactly. Hey, big eyes. I got big fists. So I was looking for what Bilger wrote about big eyes. Yeah, big eyes. And I found his top 20 list, which is where he wrote it on his blog, okay?
Starting point is 01:44:46 Right. And, uh, bad year at the box office, bad year at the Oscars. Let me rattle off some 2014 movies to you, okay? Interstellar. My number one of the year.
Starting point is 01:44:57 Beyond the Lights. Great movie. Selma. Great movie. We Are the Best. Great movie. Uh, Two Days, One Night. Great movie.
Starting point is 01:45:04 Uh, The Lego Movie. Love it. The Imm Great movie. Two Days, One Night. Great movie. The Lego Movie. Love it. The Immigrant. Sure. Snow Piercer. Pierce Big Train. Inherent Vice. Big Mystery.
Starting point is 01:45:12 Force Majeure. Big Avalanche. I mean, that's his top 10. And then you get down to Edge of Tomorrow. I was going to say that's in my top 10. John Wick. Yeah, Big Revenge. Like some good genre films too.
Starting point is 01:45:23 You also had Big Hotel. Number 18. Big Eyes, Grand Budapest Whiplash, Big Drum Big Turner Big Turner, I mean there were good movies Big Girl, gone where'd she go? that's the end of this
Starting point is 01:45:37 that is the end of our working relationship the big clock is almost done counting down and don't forget about Bigzilla people don't give that movie respect, but that's a fucking great movie. He is a chonky boy. Godzilla's a chonky boy. I thought you were talking about Aaron Taylor Johnson, and I was like, I agree.
Starting point is 01:45:54 Oh, boy. You've got a chonky boy looking at Aaron Taylor Johnson. Oh, gross. Yeah, sorry. Big dude. Now that the new Godzilla is imminent, I feel like people are bringing up again the argument of why is Godzilla so chunky
Starting point is 01:46:10 and they're like it's an American thing it's like American gluttony the Americans have made Godzilla so fat look at the old Godzilla films he always had thunder thighs that was always a bit cause he needed space for the fucking person to fit the only time the guy's ever been lean
Starting point is 01:46:25 is in the Roland Emmerich movie. Right. And that's the one that's bad. Right. Alright, we gotta wrap up. Yeah, we're done. Hey, excuse you.
Starting point is 01:46:33 I still got 7 minutes or something? 9 minutes and 53 seconds on the clock. But we're done. Richard's gotta go. 420. Yeah, baby.
Starting point is 01:46:42 Smoke weed every day. Are you going to see a screen? no I'm going to my appointment to get TSA pre-checked it's time I gotta say did you see Beach Bum? I did not see Beach Bum and they're screening it they're done screening it
Starting point is 01:46:54 when we're recording it's out in like two weeks also how did you see us early? I actually can't tell you on mic but I'll tell you off mic oh I have to tell you the shit story so let's end the show because now I want to hear these stories let me just say Blank Check thoroughly endorses signing up for TSA PreCheck
Starting point is 01:47:13 no seriously I mean you just walk right in it is kind of nuts I'll be a checky of a different variety it takes so little work we should try to get a co-sponsorship you know that I'm paying you guys money I'm paying money for this podcast that I'm on right now. In some ways.
Starting point is 01:47:28 Blink pre-check. Yeah. I'm also doing, I think, the global entry, even though I don't fly internationally that often, but why not? Why not? Sure. Okay.
Starting point is 01:47:38 Thank you all. Everyone's very interested. Reddit's going to blow up about this one. Do you have anything to plug? Your book and paperback. My book is in paperback. Say the title. All we can do is wait. It's going to blow up about this one. Do you have anything to plug? Your book in paperback. My book is in paperback. Say the title. All we can do is wait.
Starting point is 01:47:48 It's a really nice new cover. I'm happy about that. It's a smart buy and a great read. And, oh, yeah, go see Miss Peregrine, my favorite movie of all time. Of course. Well, we'll talk about her next week. Do you get money every time they sell a copy of Peregrine? No, they just send me a Blu-ray.
Starting point is 01:48:06 So I have a lot. They send you a Peregrine. Yeah, they send me Eva Green. She does my laundry for a week. Exactly. Do you want to promote your Game of Thrones podcast? Oh, yeah. So I have A Little Old Man, which is the main podcast of EF, but also we're doing a Game of Thrones thing for the last season.
Starting point is 01:48:21 I guess the episodes will be up like Monday morning, I think. Me and Joanna Robinson, who's been on this show. Thrones, Thrones, Thrones. That's right. Still watching Game of Thrones. Find it on Apple, iTunes,
Starting point is 01:48:32 podcast, or whatever that thing is. Right. Hells yeah. Nailed it. Thank you all for listening. Please remember to rate, review, and subscribe.
Starting point is 01:48:39 Go to blankies.rat.com for some real nerdy shit. Go to TeePublic for some real nerdy shirts. Remember to sign up for Blank Check Special Features on Patreon. They're so wonderful, by the way. Thank you. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:48:53 They're really great, and I want to do big nice. We're going to get you on the count. Speaking of big things. We've got to get you on the count. We had that one idea. Oh, yes. Well, we should do that, but you can also do a commentary. We've put that on the schedule, but you also can and should do a commentary.
Starting point is 01:49:06 I do like that now that we record at Big Nice, we can say like, we can refer to doing the couch like we're Johnny Carson. That's right. I want to get on that couch. Yes, that's the big... The greatest honors.
Starting point is 01:49:16 Call me over. Call you over. You're Tim Allen. And we're calling you over to do panel. I'm seeing here you are a guardian of the galaxy. That was a great Christoph Waltz. These eyes are sure big. You see these eyes, Ed?
Starting point is 01:49:33 A raccoon has a new rocket. Some weirdo. Why don't you? You don't want us to do Carson? Not into the Carson? You don't want us to do Christoph Carlson? What's wrong with Carson? Nothing.
Starting point is 01:49:42 Come on. Should we do Dangerfield now? Yeah. I get no eyes. No eyes. Should we do Dangerfield now? Yeah. I get no eyes. No eyes. Jesus Christ. My wife looks at me. My eyes are so little.
Starting point is 01:49:52 Don Rickles. You get gone. You hockey puck. You got split peas for eyes. I watched a Twilight Zone episode with Don Rickles last night. Was it good? Yeah, that guy was such a good actor. Great actor.
Starting point is 01:50:04 He never got enough opportunity to show us what he could do. That's true. He's great in... Toy Story? Potato Head? The Norm Macdonald movie.
Starting point is 01:50:13 Oh, Dirty Work. And he did win his Oscar for that. Of course. So thank you all for listening. His pen was the only part of that year. That was the year. Thank you all for listening. You already did all that.
Starting point is 01:50:23 Thank you. And as always, the thing I didn't want to say is that Amy Adams' butt looks really good in the museum too. Wow. Amelia Ear butt. Every heterosexual adult male I know who has seen that movie took note of it. All right. It's a weird thing. Great.
Starting point is 01:50:42 Also, big eyes. Big eyes.

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