Blank Check with Griffin & David - Fan Fiction - The Phantom Podcast

Episode Date: May 19, 2015

It’s week nine into the investigation and the case is not coming together. Sooo, Griffin and David have decided to dig deep and explore the strange world of Phantom Menace fan fiction. Perhaps these stories will help them better understand the relationship between lets say Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn? Selections include “Cards on the Table” by Emilia-Wan Kenobi, “Glory Glory Hallelujah ” by Dr. Gonzo and other entries. [Warning: This episode includes sexually explicit content] Also, Griffin checks in with the merch corner finding a hologram Darth Sidious action figure at CVS. Music Selections: “Gentle Whispering” and “Happy Little Clouds” by Lee Rosevere (freemusicarchive.org/music/Lee_Rosevere/) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/

🎵 Uh, hello everybody! Welcome to the Family Podcast. I am Griffin Newman, embarrassed owner of multiple compact trips. Wait, wait, wait. You have them? They have arrived, and I am too embarrassed to go to the post office to pick them up. Right. I feel like buyer's remorse. I'm David Sims.

I feel terrible. How many was it in the end? 48? I'm double-checking here. I think it was 48. It was 48. I'm sure. Yeah. They've arrived, and I can't. I feel terrible. How many was it in the end? 48? I'm double checking here. I think it was 48. It was 48. I'm sure. They've arrived and I can't, I don't want to. It cost $30, I believe. I believe that is how much it cost.

Yeah. A person somewhere in the world got an email saying, Griffin Newman has bought your bucket of chips. Yep. Here is $30, $30 American dollars. Yeah, let's start over the podcast. You want to start over? Let's start over the podcast you want to start over let's start over cut all that out

no problem cut all that out okay thanks again to producer Ben for taking a scalpel to the edit last week I didn't get to listen

but you haven't listened to it no you should listen to it yeah you should listen to it it's really good Ben did a great job yeah

he did all the cuts we asked for yeah yeah yeah it's really good took care of a great job. He did all the cuts we asked for? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really good. Took care of it all. No problem. Thank you, Ben Dusser, the poet laureate of the Phantom Podcast. Well, it is week nine.

Is that, yes, it's week nine? Of our investigation to this movie. And God, do I feel defeated. I know. It's like in a detective movie where I go back to my hotel and I just stare at the wall and start crying. The case is not coming together.

No, it's not. Yeah, there's papers all over the pin board. Yeah. There's lots of yarn. Yeah, and I'm at the point where I'm just starting to pee on the walls. I don't want to look at those papers anymore. Yeah.

We've examined this text perhaps as much as one can. Yeah, it's been over examined. It's been over examined. The movie is not about the things we say it's about. Right, and we keep on looking to try to find those things and they're not in there. No. We reach for the merchandise, it's not in there, right?

It definitely wasn't in there. Hungry Hero Jar Jar, I'm just saying, maybe he was the one who set off the... He was the hero, yeah. ...Gorg revolution. Yeah. Um, maybe we have to go beyond the film as we know from the star wars card trader app there is an expanded universe that george created yeah right i guess maybe in comics or whatever he'd been he'd been working on this for decades

it seems like right but you only got to make the one movie just to clarify for everyone you only get to make the one movie phantom menace in case you're listening for the first time on episode nine. Good job, guys, if you're listening for the first time on episode nine. One Star Wars film. But there clearly is an expanded universe within the merchandise and everything. And then there's also a lot of fan fiction, David. Oh, boy. Fan... I want to go on the record. I've been dreading this episode for weeks.

We've been putting it off for maybe six weeks. So today we're going to look at the fan fiction and see if we can find anything out of it. You know, other fans interpreting the text, taking it further. So this is after the film's release? Summer before

maybe. Yeah. I think some might have been even before. Some are before. Once again, our internet here is terrible, so there will be a lot of vamping for time. But here we go anything else you want to say before we launch into this we're gonna really talk about

Star Wars Episode 1 the Phantom Menace fan fiction cool excited I already regret this decision yeah you know what it's like you buying the computer chips? The, what are they called?

ComTech chips? Yep. Let's just try it, okay? Yeah. So I'm on a website right now. It's called Emma Grant's Star Wars Rex. Okay? Okay.

And a lot of the Star Wars fan fiction has to do with A lot of the Star Wars fan fiction has to do with the Master Apprentice subculture, it is called. Oh, I see. So the Qui-Gon Obi-Wan relationship. People are very interested. Really? It's such an uninteresting part of the movie.

Well, but that's the thing. Maybe that's why we need to dig into it. Right, they want to flesh it out. I get that. Because... All right, we're back into it. Cut all that, no problem. Oh my god. This episode is riddled with technical failures. Yeah, and get ready for some

emotional failures. So, I just want to say, in the movie, Qui-Gon is Obi-Wan's teacher. I believe he gives him one piece of advice in the whole movie, which is like, be mindful of the present and the future. Something like that early on where you're like, oh, okay.

And then it never really updates after that. Qui-Gon is a terrible teacher. He's much more interested in being a slave owner. Agreed. Yep. Okay. It's one of the reasons Obi-Wan is a worthless character in this movie, because he has no arc Okay but maybe

No I know what you're saying Maybe someone else can find what George Lucas was unable to find We were talking right before we started recording About the MCU For short the Marvel Cinematic Universe Of course Which may be to a fault Sometimes certain emotional threads don't make sense

Unless you've seen all the films Yes absolutely There's a richness that you can only discover by watching them all To a fault, sometimes certain emotional threads don't make sense unless you've seen all the films. Yes, absolutely. There's a richness that you can only discover by watching them all. I don't like the first Thor. I like it. I just don't like it that much. I dislike it.

You dislike it? Yeah. Even though it's got some great performances from Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston? Yes, I dislike it. Okay. Especially because I think those two go on to give great performances at the next two films. They do much better work later on. Yeah.

I dislike it, but I will say you could watch the first Avengers cold, watching it with Thor 1 in the back pocket, even as shitty as it is, gives a big emotional weight to Loki's actions, Thor's actions. You can watch Avengers 1 and get it if you haven't seen Thor, pretty much. They give you the basic info. But if you've seen Thor 1, then yeah, you get a nice little bit of color and grounding. Maybe some of these stories will help us understand the relationship. Yeah, probably not, though.

Okay. Let's try it. This story is called Cards on the Table. We will credit all original authors. This one's written by amelia juan kenobi great uh are you just gonna read fan fiction to me if anyone is still listening to this podcast at this moment in time i beg you just two guys staring at each other in front of two microphones

in a hot room reading fan fiction. Hot, hot room. About the Phantom Menace. Like, Griffin texted me this morning or last night saying, let's just do fan fiction this week. And I didn't even know how to reply to him. You didn't even respond. I was two in the morning. I was asleep. I'm in a really dark place right now.

Okay, so category, mild angst, pairing, QO. I just assume that means it's a buddy story. Can we talk about fan fiction? Because I never really delved into the world of fan fiction. Have you ever really? No. I know that it's a very, very, very active subculture on the internet,

and there's lots of lingo that goes with it. Yes, very much so. I don't understand all that. I won't be able to speak to that. Maybe we'll be able to figure this out together. I just know I had to go through a lot of web archives because a lot of these sites are no longer running. They were very active in like 1999, 2000, 2001 after the release of The Phantom Menace. People want to write more stories about Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon and their relationship leading up to the film.

Here we go. So we're going to go straight into this story. Cards on the Table by Amelia Wan, Kenobi. Disclaimer, George Lucas is Dumb Man. He owns everything. We just play. He is Dumb Man. Learn your fate, a voice croaked.

It emerged from a bundle of brightly colored rags in the corner outside the tap cafe. Already, I like this stage that's being set here. Well, you just think it's Wado. The table nearest the alley and the industrial-sized garbage bin. She, or he, it was hard to tell, must have been a friend of the owner. She clearly considered... Well, now I guess it's a she. You're telling her.

Let's not keep the mystery too long. Yeah, she clearly... Let's end the mystery we started at the beginning of this sentence in the middle of this sentence. She clearly considered the spot her own and had set up a star-sprinkled cloth and various bright fetishes, huh? Up on the circular tabletop.

A fetish is a sort of a tribal piece of carved art. Oh, interesting. The cards know all. All. Obi-Wan Kenobi and his master, Qui-Gon Jinn, had been about to choose the cafe for their midday meal. We never see the Jedis eat, but they must have to eat. I guess lunch is not a term that exists within the Phantom Menace universe.

No. Now Obi-Wan lowered his head and quickened his step, pretending he didn't see or hear the scrofulous-looking character. Scrofula is a medieval disease that poor people would get. I don't know why else you would be using that word. S-C-R-O-F-U-L-O-U-S. Okay. All right.

I'm going to look that word up. Bad enough they'd spend all morning trying to make sense of the Dakanians' economic and political squabbles He and his master needed peace and quiet to restore their energies before returning for several more hours of the same Is this before or after Phantom? I think all the six was before

because, quick, I'm done What a bonehead question that was Obi-Wan reflected that if he never saw the corporate sector again, he would die a contended man. He had to use every bit of his training and reflexes not to ram into Qui-Gon's back as his master stopped and cast a local coin on the table.

The creature, Obi-Wan could now see it was a female of some sort. With a bird-like face and personality. Yeah, you told us. Amelia, Obi-Wan, come with me. Trolled a short series of musical notes and patted the table. Sit down, good sir, sit down. Let Esme tell you what divine fate has in store for you. That's a terrible idea for an episode.

I'm going to cut this off real soon. This is the worst thing we've ever done. I'm trying to see how long it takes for this story to pop. Well, my guess is that it's really long. This story's really long. I'm not going to read this one. Should we just make up our own fanfiction? No, let me find a shorter one. You're not

going to find an appropriate piece of fanfiction. I'm going to find a shorter one. Yeah, okay, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. This is the one we're reading. This one is called Glory, Glory, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. This is the one we're reading. This one is called Glory, Glory, Hallelujah. Hallelujah? Mm-hmm. Okay.

Warning, this was thrown together during a mutual fit of insanity. It's written by Dr. Gonzo. This was thrown together during a mutual fit of insanity. We refuse to be held responsible for our own demented minds. Switching point of view will be indicated by headers. Spoilers, none. This doesn't sound good. There's headers?

Yeah. Summary. A cultural ritual takes an unexpected turn when Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon find themselves on opposite sides of a hole in the wall.

Are you in some... Are you in like an Obi-Wan Qui-Gon section of the site? Like is this Those seem to be That's just, that's mostly what it is. Yeah. That's most of the fan fiction that's written. That's interesting. There's no Amidala fan fiction? Very

little. Nothing about, you know, lives of the handmaidens? Very little. So the headers, there are headers right from the get-go. Okay? So it tells you which perspective. Because I guess they're on opposite sides of the hole in the wall. So you've got to know which side you're on.

Okay, ready? Qui-Gon. You're struggling here. Qui-Gon Jinn stuck his penis through a hole in the wall? Apparently they got glory holes. I mean, I saw it coming, I guess. You know, the opposite sides of the wall. But I thought there would be some buildup.

This story was no time. They're not even telling us how they got to the wall. Where it is, where the hole is. What planet they're on. Well, the hole is at sort of probably like penis height. Well, traditionally a hole in the wall is... Go on, please. Finish that sentence. Well, I've always heard that there's a place in France where the ladies wear no pants and there's a hole in the wall where the guys can see it all.

Right. I've also heard that. This doesn't seem... Aphorism. Maybe that is this hole, maybe this... Is he in France? I don't know. We don't heard that. This doesn't seem... Aphorism. Maybe that is this hole, maybe this is... Is he in France? I don't know. We don't know yet. They started media res. So just...

We don't know where this story is taking us. Read the first sentence. I want to see this. Qui-Gon Jinn stuck his penis through a hole in the wall. It wasn't an experience... That's its own paragraph, by the way. That's one sentence, period, new paragraph. That makes sense. It wasn't an experience with That's its own paragraph, by the way. That's one sentence, period, new paragraph. That makes sense. It wasn't an experience with which he was intimately familiar, eminently comfortable.

He looked surreptitiously down the length of the wall where other holes waited at varying lengths with varying diameters. Oh, that makes sense that there would be, like, you know, it's an alien, like, civilized, you know, like, there's a lot of different penises and a lot of different heights and shapes and sizes. It was more cold than arousing. The plasticine ring that cradled his most intimate part, so they put rings around the holes. It's not just a

car job. It's not just a punch. Yeah, right. The cradle of his most intimate parts had not been warmed in preparation for occupancy. Well, beggars can't be choosers. Furthermore, he felt rather vulnerable, considering that he had no idea who might be on the other side of the wall. Why is he doing this?

Also, he's a Jedi. He should have some familiarity. Like, he should be able to sense, you know, someone's feelings. Yeah. He can sense a great disturbance in the forest. Something he can't figure. Bouncing carefully on his heels to keep the circulation going, he waited. Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan knelt on the cushion that had been provided for him. Waiting for his first patron. God, this was embarrassing. Why would this be happening? What possible reason? I'm hoping it's explained. I think you're right that the Inmedia Res is crucial to the setup here.

I'm hoping it unfolds itself. You know, it's like we're hooked right in. Obi-Wan did what? Yeah. God, this was embarrassing. Just how did he always manage to get involved in these things? Okay, so we're learning a little more. This isn't the first time this has happened.

I want to make this clear. This is not written by George Lucas and has nothing to do with the Star Wars Expanded Universe. But he is da man. He shook away his lingering discomfort. It wasn't important, he told himself. All that mattered was doing his duty and doing it well. It would not do to shame the Jedi with a poor performance. Not far down from him was another humanoid performing his duty.

So there are multiple... And there's no separation. There's a big wall, a lot of holes. A lot of holes. So on one side of the wall, a bunch of people sticking their wheelies in, and the other side, a bunch of people are kneeling on cushions. Yeah. For what reason? We do not yet know.

Obi-Wan found his eyes reluctantly drawn to the sight. It should have been humorous, perhaps, watching a young man servicing an anonymous patron through the barrier of a wall. But somehow... Ugh, he squirmed uncomfortably, trying to watch without obviously staring. Can we skip ahead? Qui-Gon. uncomfortably, trying to watch without obviously staring. Can we skip

ahead? Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon uncomfortably attempted not to listen to the person that had already been enjoying the services of this establishment when he arrived. This is filled with innuendo. For a thing that began with Qui-Gon putting his penis through a wall. Now they're beating around

the bush. The services. Now they're acting coy. Apparently he found this concept more exciting than Qui-Gon himself did. Still, when the Jedi Master discovered what accepting the ritual courtesies of the Jaxterian royal court involved, he'd been glad that he could sneak away without his Padawan and Obi-Wan's customary place at his side. Now we're learning a little more. Okay, right. Qui-Gon doesn't know that Obi-Wan's on the other side of the wall.

They're visiting a Jaxterian palace. Which is like a glory hole civilization, I guess. This is what you do. Yeah, right, right. Qui-Gon doesn't know that Obi-Wan's on the other side of the wall. They're visiting a Jextarian palace. Which is like a glory hole civilization, I guess. This is what you do. Yeah, right, right. Hey, well, let me sneak away from Obi-Wan. Get along. A little man time. Yeah.

Without Obi-Wan here to witness, this was merely uncomfortable. With him here, it might have been impossible. Qui-Gon squirmed a bit, gazing up at the ceiling. What the squirming? Jesus Christ. This is my favorite piece of writing, so. Squirmed a bit, gazing up at the ceiling. What the squirming? Jesus Christ. This is my favorite piece of writing, so squirmed a bit, gazing up at the ceiling.

Period. Beige. Period. You could use a nice new coat of paint and a quiet beige. A quiet beige. Sure. Because, you know, I hate a loud beige. The man next to him finished with a shout,

convulsing, palms slapping against the wall, and Qui-Gon blushed crimson, looking away and humming a little to himself, Jedi Control. When he was accepted and pleasured, he would not make such a vulgar and embarrassing display. He would not be commensurate with the dignity of a Jedi Master. We know the stakes. I hate it. When he comes, he can't act like a fool. The stage is set. That's the goal.

Don't act like a fool when you're busting nut. Obi-Wan fighting the urge to whistle. Obi-Wan instead settled himself on his back against the soft cushions. His back. His back. Okay.

The customs of some people would never cease to amaze him, he thought, shaking his head slightly. When the Chamberlain had told him what would be expected of him, it had been all he could do not to faint right there in the richly decorated throne room, like some flighty little child, not the Jedi he was supposed to be. David is now checking his emails. I am not listening to you. The other servicer was certainly getting

vigorous, he noted, with a touch of apprehension. This might not be as easy as he had first thought. All thoughts were wiped away when he glanced back at his own station and saw that this first patron has arrived when he wasn't paying attention. I understand. There's a dick hanging out of the hole in the wall.

I think I can see the ultimate twist of this story. I think I can see where it's all heading. He winced mentally. Not a good way to start out. He winced mentally? Mentally winced. He went like this. Not a good way to start out. Shifting forward onto his knees, he steeled himself for what he was about to do.

Just duty, he reminded himself. This was a part of his mission. It must be handled like any other task. Why is he doing this? Just duties. Part of a mission. Handled like any other task. The last sentence explained.

It did not. It explained all of it. No, it did not. A part of his brain snickered at the word handle. Why is his brain snickering and wincing? And he ignored it, calm and ready to do his service. Until he got a good look at exactly what he was supposed to be servicing. Oh boy.

Oh boy. I mean, this is the first time I'm genuinely intrigued. Right? Qui-Gon. The longer he waited to be attended, the more uncomfortable Qui-Gon grew. Perhaps he had stuck himself into the wrong hole. Maybe he was being filmed for purposes of blackmail. Maybe the size of his cock was just too intimidating

for anyone to take him up on this ludicrous offer. We've never talked about it, but Liam Neeson is famous for being well-endowed. That's a long-standing Hollywood rumor. Within Hollywood circles, he is rumored to have one of, if not the biggest, penises. I hate everything that we're doing today. Janis Dickinson once said it was like a fucking Evian bottle. Janis Dickinson's the world's first supermodel. Yeah, no, no, no, no.

Anyway, carry on. Yes, she is. You're right. He gazed longingly back in the direction of the small dressing chamber where he had left his robes and his lightsaber. Well, the metal one, anyhow. So, David, what's going on here? No, I understand. It's like a lightsaber of the flesh.

You've made multiple lightsaber penis puns in the course of us doing this podcast. Maybe this is going to help us figure it out. No, it's not. This might help us figure the movie out. After this story, we're done. I have six more tabs open. Can you cut to something? Because this is...

You wanted to make this a quick episode. Yeah, the next story's going to be called Pleasure Boy. Unless the DNA of the Jackax-Tarians had changed when he walked into this room, the man in front of him was not of their species. If the fact that his skin... We're on Obi-Wan now. If the fact that his skin wasn't green hadn't given him away,

then certainly the tiny springs of dark hair that were visible would have. His patron was a human then, but Obi-Wan had thought that his master and he himself were the only humans in the palace. Hmm. Hmm, interesting. He clapped a hand over his mouth before the hysterical giggles that were rising up

could escape. Oh, force around him. This could not be happening. He invokes the force around him like, oh my god, oh my force. He does, he does. Still, he thought, as he studied the soft flesh That was only inches from his face He had been wanting his master for years now

Perhaps not like this, but in some fashion So he's a quick study, he's figuring it out Right, you got it, he figured it out He's got, there's only one He figured out who, yeah, we know We figured it out A mischievous impulse arose in him and he leaned forward Very lightly running his tongue along the side of the flaccid champ Griffin, I'm gonna have to cut you off figured out who yeah we know we figured it out a mischievous impulse arose in him and he leaned forward very lightly

running his tongue along the side of the I'm gonna have to cut you off after all he did have to do his duty for the Jedi Qui-Gon should he leave this was ridiculous is there much more of this that's very long. While he waited, two more men had walked up and inserted themselves. David's now writing a piece

for his job. He's now writing a review for the Atlantic Wire. No, just the Atlantic. I don't work for the Wire anymore. While he waited, two more men had walked up and inserted themselves and were giving every indication of enjoying the experience. Perhaps he should. Qui-Gon

flinched and very nearly shouted as just at the moment he would have pulled back a hot, wet tongue touched him and trailed along his flaccid shaft. To use flaccid shaft twice is a little lazy. I think you could call it different terms. He trembled,

going almost instantly erect at the shock of the soft touch and bent his head, his hair curtaining his face, and screening his embarrassment. Force willing, this would be over. God willing. I love that they use force like it's God. Force willing, this would be over quickly. Ooh, premature ejaculation.

That could tell us a lot about the negotiations. Nothing went down. Maybe that's like the negotiations. Because if we knew that this happened before. This is before. Right. So maybe it's like, sorry that my negotiations were so quick. You keep acting like this has any bearing on

George Lucas. We haven't hit the end yet, David. Can I just see what Thor seemed like a piece of shit, but then you saw the Avengers and it made sense. So maybe we watched them in the wrong order. This is so incredibly long. Griffin, when is it over? Yeah, Phantom Menace is 220. Any story worth telling

is worth telling in detail. When do I actually just have to stop you? Qui-Gon. I'm gonna kill you. Should he leave? This was... Oh, no, I read this part already. Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He had let his forehead rest against the wall and waited for more. Obi-Wan. He had just only barely touched the man his cock had stiffened immediately. Obi-Wan leaned back quietly to avoid losing an eye, looking somewhat nonplussed at his master's shaft. Damn,

he had been impressive enough soft. Erect, his master was damn well formidable. Most people say formidable. Formidable. You say formidable? Formidable. I think I say both. I say formidable.

Yeah. But I wanted to mix it up. Banthas had smaller organs than Qui-Gon. Okay, so... So, Obi-Wan has... Now, a Bantha is a giant, sort of like, woolly mammoth-sized Tatooine creature, right? Yes.

Yeah. So it's like saying he's got, like, a horse cock. Yeah. Oh, well, no going back now. He reached up and gently took the heated length in hand. Heated length is an interesting expression for penis. I'm not listening to you. What are you working on right now?

I'm just looking at some casting rumors about Martin Freeman in Captain America Civil War. What do you think he's going to play? I think that he's going to play like a suit. Guys, what is going on? What is going on? He's reading fan fiction to me. I was into it. I've been captivated this whole time.

Okay, then I'll get back into it. I don't want to hear about Captain America. I want to hear what happens with this great story that we're listening to. Had it been so long, he wondered, stroking the soft skin lightly, that his master was ready to come at barely a touch? And yet the story's going to be over faster than we thought,

ignoring the fact that we scrolled down and saw how long it is. It's incredibly long. You know how, like, there's a little scroll bar at the side? It's a dot. It's tiny. Wow. Yeah. That dot's near the top of the page. Mischief

was replaced by a surge of determination. Not if he had anything to do with it. He may never have a chance to do this again. He would be damned if he let it end so quickly okay so this is important no it's not no the Jedi's have to sacrifice everything to become a Jedi

it's like being a monk yeah sure they're very monastic yeah yeah I'd previously theorized that maybe they are not allowed to love we will not release this episode

it won't be released oh you don't think this is gonna get on Podmask fucker? We will not release this episode. It won't be released. Oh, you don't think this is going to get on Podmas, fucker? You don't think Todd Vanderwerf is going to be all over this bullshit? He doesn't work for the Emmy Club anymore. Really? Where does he work now? He works for Vox. Oh, right.

Who runs Podmas now? I don't even know who runs Podmas anymore. You still have an in, though, right? You could probably... Yeah, I should probably email someone. You know, sometimes they, like, pick one episode to sort of test it out and see if it's Podmas worthy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's throw in this one. We should leave that part in too.

Oh, yeah. Let's talk about Podmas. We're going to leave everything in. Okay, wait. This part. And then not release this episode. Jokes aside, jokes aside, this part, this next part is very important. We're trying to figure out the movie.

No, we're not. These are new details. Ready? Go ahead. Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready. Carefully, Obi-Wan pushed back his master's foreskin. Okay.

Okay. Exposing the crimson head of a shaft Okay Uncircumcised That's great So happy for him Do we think this is a Jedi thing? Some Jedis are discovered at birth

Do we think all Jedis are uncircumcised? I mean You know there's no evidence of like Jewish or Islamic tradition in the Star Wars universe. No, and we never see a hospital in the Phantom Menace. We don't know. True. Even for medical reasons. Do you know what I

like about it? Nothing. David, no. I'll tell you what I like about it. By giving him a foreskin, it's further drawing this comparison between his penis and a lightsaber. Because a lightsaber has to pop out of. I think that's a stretch, though. You pull it back and then there's a crimson head.

I don't know. Also, he has a green lightsaber. By the way, I'm going to start calling myself the Crimson Head. It was already shiny. Why do you talk about shiny, Dick? With soft fluid, a testament to Qui-Gon's sudden arousal. Okay. So there's some pre-cum. Stop reading this story immediately.

Go to the end and tell me what happens. Can I finish this sentence? No, we're only at pre-cum, David. No, I refuse. It's 1.20 right now. And with a secret smirk, Qui-Gon leaned forward and lapped the clear liquid away, savoring the salty bitterness, his tongue probing the tiny slit. We are marked on iTunes as being explicit, right Ben? Uh, yes.

Because if not, we're going to get taken off iTunes. For this one? This is pretty tasteful. I think so too. Did I mention this story is rated NC-17? When I went onto the site, to the fan fiction site, all the stories had ratings. I know that that's a thing in fan fiction. What, do you want to hear a fucking PG story? You think that's going to be fun? No, I don't want to do anything right now.

You sure? Who do you think Martin Freeman's going to play? I think probably a government official. Yeah, minor role. Right? Yeah. I think it would be an important role, but maybe someone closer, like what Gary Shandling played in Iron Man 3. Or Captain America 2 was the one.

He was in Iron Man 2 and Captain America 2. And Chris O'Dowd in Thor of the Dark World. We always forget about him. He was great in that. What a masterpiece that movie is. Yep. What is happening? Well, Ben gets immediately angry when we get off the track of this story. What is happening?

Well, Ben gets immediately angry when we get off the track of this story. There's an R-rated story called The Gift. Wait, just what happens at the end of this story? Can I just read you the capsule of this? The Gift, review. This is another Obi turns into a girl story. And a really good one at that. How will Qui-Gon react when his apprentice turns into a really hot girl hot

totalicize now how will Obi-Wan attract to her master sudden attention okay what what do you have to say it's you know people make a lot of jokes about fan fiction right yeah and that it's mostly just this kind of stuff, right? That it's sort of like... Yeah, slash fiction. Yeah, exactly.

It's kind of like very basic sexual fantasies, mostly about two guys fucking up. Often written by female fans, shipping two male characters. It's very interesting that that subset of fan fiction exists. Yeah, I agree. And I have no problem with them exploring that desire to create fiction. I agree, and they're providing us with an important supplementary text, so let's go back to the story. What? We're not going to... We're not going to what?

Are you trying to... Censor not going to what? Are you trying to... Censor? Yeah. You? No. This person? Amelia Wankanobi. Wait, this one's Amelia Wankanobi too?

Same as... Oh, no, this is Dr. Gonzo. You're right, we switched. That other one was so boring. The one about the fortune teller. By the way, the fortune she told us that they were going to suck each other's dicks, and that's where that story went. teller. By the way, the fortune she told us that they were going to suck each other's dicks, and that's where that story went.

I think that what we're finding here is that people who saw this film found that there was something really lacking in the Qui-Gon Obi-Wan relationship that they wanted more of, but there just isn't any of. Maybe that's what they're indulging.

You're just looking for a really, really nasty part of this story that you can just dive right into right now because i honestly think we won't be able to finish this story within this episode oh really oh no shit i'm gonna read some key lines what the wait wait no i gotta read a little more of this what we what the What the... Wait, wait. No, I gotta read a little more of this. What are we... What the... Yeah, okay. Cut that last part while I was searching. Hold on.

Let me find where I was. Ben's just shaking his head. I like the job you did on on the pod race episode editing in our vegetable conversation it was great I felt good about it me too

loved it was laughing out loud in my car okay back in oh yeah we'll cut all that out cut it out Qui-Gon a slight hesitation after Cut it out. Qui-Gon. A slight hesitation after the first touch left Qui-Gon's balls aching and his insecurity stirring.

Perhaps the problem was due to his race. Huh? White? Let's dig in! Go on. Do the Jedis have white guilt? Here they are protecting, defending. There's not a lot of white people on the Jedi Council, though.

It's all either aliens or a black guy. Yeah, because we've got Adagala, we've got Plu-Klun, we have Yaddle, we have Yoda, we have Mace Windu, we have Y'ariel Poo. Maybe within all of their alien species, they are the white version of it. You know, like they are the... Interesting.

Yeah, well, yeah. Maybe there's other people in Yoda's species, but they're not green. Also, the Jedi Council is predominantly male, which I find problematic. So problematic. I find this episode problematic. What would you want to do with this episode, David? I don't know. We've run dry.

Yeah, we've definitely run dry. What have we done? We are out of Phantom Menace. We are, like, out of Phantom Menace things to do. Has this movie broken? I mean, I feel like last week was the one where we went stir crazy, and this is the one where we just resigned. Well, this is the one where we are looking where there is not information, if that makes sense. I suggested reading the novel.

You said you didn't want the time commitment, considering that's only 5% different than the book. I suggested playing the PlayStation game. You said you didn't want to because it got bad reviews. No, I just don't have a PlayStation. I don't either. I have a PlayStation 3, but I thought it was probably on the store. Wait, is the PlayStation game significantly different? No, probably not. I think you

play from Obi-Wan's perspective. I don't know. I don't know what to do, David. Yeah, I know. Just read me another plot description. Qui-Gon relaxed suddenly. His intuition's telling him that he was, quite literally, in good hands. See what they did there? That's great.

I like that. I like that. Really? Yeah. I'm skipping ahead. As he alternated soft kisses and teasing licks down the length of Qui-Gon's cock, it suddenly came to Obi-Wan that this was not at all what he had expected. He'd assumed that he would feel some kind of degradation from this kind of servitude,

being forced to serve as someone in this manner, but he realized then that he, he was the one with the power. It was the patron who was the vulnerable one. His master was subject to his whims. What's the point of this? I don't really get it. Why would someone want to write this? Like, it's a genuine question.

I don't mean it in a mean way. Well, the guy, Dr Dr. Gonzo said it was written under... Yeah, it was like a moment of madness, right? It just sort of vomited out of him. Yeah, you know, a couple minutes ago I scrolled down to the end to try to figure out whether or not to skip ahead.

And I was like, I don't know. And then I scrolled back up right now to re-look at Dr. Gonzo, and scrolling back up took now to re-look at Dr. Gonzo. And scrolling back up took a millisecond. Scrolling down takes five seconds. Fit of Insanity, we refuse. That's the other interesting thing. This was done together through a mutual Fit of Insanity.

Is Dr. Gonzo two people? Dr. Gonzo does refer to himself in the first person plural. Okay. How do you feel about ClickHole? I think it's a really funny website. Yeah, I do too. Cool. I'm going to skip it.

Here's what we're going to do, okay? Yeah. Yeah. What am I doing with my fucking life I'm just looking through these sentences have you ever written any fan fiction Griffin in elementary school I would write sequels to my favorite movies in which the characters hung out with me.

So you were always involved? Yeah, it wasn't sexual. It was just about me wanting to be best friends with my favorite characters. Like what's an example? What's a movie you love? I love the movie Space Jam. It's a great movie. I wrote a junior novelization.

I would make little paperback books. And I made a little paperback book called Soccer Jam. Okay. You know, the premise of the first Space Jam is we gotta beat these aliens. These alien monsters, yep. In basketball.

We're not good at basketball. Let's bring in the greatest basketball player of all time. Right. The premise of Soccer Jam was the Tiny Toons. Okay. Not the Looney Tunes. The Tiny Toons

are threatened by an alien race. The monsters come back and are like, we failed to get the Looney Tunes. We canunes the Tiny Toons are threatened by an alien race the monsters come back and are like we failed to get the Looney Tunes we can get the Tiny Toons we'll get the Tiny Toons instead for our

Space Theme Park slavery which was on the air when we were kids yes let's get the Tiny Toons we challenge you to a game of soccer did you play soccer

were you a a little bit on the weekends sure so where's the first movie it was let's get the greatest player of all time in this movie they get Griffin Newman let's get Griffin Newman yeah that sounds So whereas the first movie, it was let's get the greatest player of all time. In this movie, they get Griffin Newman. Let's get Griffin Newman.

Yeah. That sounds good. I teamed up with them. It was really fun. When did the blowjobs start? Ben. But this is my question. Yeah.

Like wish fulfillment. Sure. You know, that's what's going on there. Right. Dr. Gonzo is, I guess, his version is just that he really wanted these two to get together, but almost like he knew it would be implausible for them to just get together, so he had to invent this extremely convoluted glory hole on a different planet scenario. I mean, some other people, they don't take such lengths.

I mean, I chose one. I thought this one was more interesting because it kind of— It has like a hook and a premise and like uh you know um a little bit of craft narrative craft i mean apparently some of them just turn obi-wan into a girl i don't even why why bother yeah and this one called pleasure boy the description is uh where did obi-wan learn that sexy walk i was like i think that you came into this episode thinking, I'll warm us up with a couple of straightforward fanfiction and we'll get to the sexy stuff. And you immediately

realize, fanfiction's really boring. Yeah. And even the sexy fanfiction, it's really, it's like one punch and then that's all it's got, really, to shock you. Yeah, because here, look. After that, you're just a little embarrassed for everyone involved. Yeah. Including Obi-Wan. Maybe this was a whiff. Look, but

this is, let me read to you, because I was going to read a straightforward one, okay? embarrassed for everyone involved. Yeah, yeah. Including Obi-Wan. Maybe this was a whiff. Look, but... This is... Let me read to you... Because I was going to read a straightforward one, okay? Yeah, but I don't want you to. I just want to give you a sample so you see how fucking boring it is, okay? Yeah, yeah, sure.

Chapter one, negotiation. This is some guy rewrote The Phantom Menace. That's an impulse I understand. Because there's building blocks. He also has headers here. Okay. Chapter 1, negotiations. Header, Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon Jinn strode briskly along the curved, gray-walled transit corridor of the Trade Federation battleship. An expensive-looking silver C3 series protocol droid led the way. First of all, this guy fucking knows nothing because it's not a C3 series. It's a TC series. Ah, you're right.

I hate this. David, what do we do? What do we do now? I think we probably are done with The Phantom Menace. I think we've reached the end of the Boonta Eve classic. We're on lap three. Yeah. You know, we're in the final straight.

We're locked with Sebulba, you know. And much like we thought we'd be able to pull out an impressive victory. Yeah, and figure out what the movie's about. I'm reading about T.C. Right, we're realizing now,

the realization's sinking in, like, oh, even if you beat Sebulba, you're still a slave. Like, then you're owned by this guy. Right. And now we know that what he does with his... With his apprentices. Oh, let's go to the Jackstarian court. I want to make this clear.

This is not written by George Lucas. This is just Dr. Gonzo. And we don't know that that's what Qui-Gon does. Oh, so you're saying it's not canon? I'm saying it's not canon. I'm saying that, like, obviously there's a lot in the text to suggest that maybe that's what goes on, but we don't actually know what Qui-Gon does. And also, he's dead. Let's not forget.

I love you, he sent silently, not daring to speak it aloud as he pressed a final desperate... This is the end. Desperate kiss to Qui-Gon's parted lips, letting his tongue flicker against them before he pulled back with a sigh, folding his hands into his sleeves and gripping them tightly. Well, that's it. Yes, Master Obi-Wan responded. Qui-Gon let his hand touch the small of the young man's back as he guided his padawan from the room. End. Well, that's it. Do you have an idea of who we are? Let us know at TheGreatGonzo68 at AOL.com.

If you figure it out, we'll write a sequel with hot monkey Jedi love in it. Come on, give it your best shot. Smiling, Emoticon. I like that. I like the straightforward, like, hey like hey man you want some Jedi monkey love figure out who we are maybe that's the mystery maybe they're the

Phantom Menace is who the no the Phantom Menace is insidious yeah that's who it is the movie's about like you know

a bunch of pawns in a galactic political game being manipulated from afar by a guy who lives in Coruscant. So are we calling it? Are we saying that

we're... Do you think there's any fanfiction about Sidious and Darth Maul hanging out in that apartment? You wanted this to end, David. What are you doing? Well, clearly, David was just angry because we weren't shipping his right relationship. We didn't figure out what floats his fucking boat.

So he's Darth Maul slash Finn. Well, David, let's do some of our patented banter. Oh, hey, Ben. What's going on, man? Not too much. Not too much. It's iced coffee season, which is always nice. How do you feel about iced coffee?

I like a good iced coffee. I like a tall ice coffee Snow peas though Back to veggies I don't like raw snow peas You mean like the kind of Almost like edamame Or anything you can kind of

Crunchy I don't love snow peas They're okay in Chinese food Maybe cooked No thank you Do you like a snap pea? I don't love snow peas. They're okay in Chinese food, maybe cooked, but raw, meh. No, thank you. Do you like a snap pea? Ooh.

Hmm. Nope. Ooh. 50-50. I'm on the fence. Now, what exactly is a snap pea? Well, it's the slightly thicker, you know. So that's like the edamame style.

Exactly. Okay. There's a lot of Darth Maul Obi-Wan slash fic. So Obi-Wan is the sort of boy toy of the Phantom Menace for the slash fiction universe. I never want to discuss fan fiction again in my entire life. This is so crazy, though, that this all exists. David, what if the point of the movie is that- Please go ahead.

movie is that Please go ahead. The Jedi's It's a criticism of the Catholic Church. We already did that. And how absolute power corrupts all. I have a question. And how the people we entrust

to protect us are the ones actually molesting us. Maybe. Yeah, whatever. Anyway, it's about systems, right? It's like every system is fatally flawed and that's how Palpatine can manipulate them. Right. Anyway, you're an actor. Yeah.

You're like a professional actor. Yeah, yeah. Which is pretty impressive. I know, I can't believe it. We don't talk about it enough, in private or on this podcast. Because I spend most of my life being sad and being angry about stuff.

But it's great, you're an actor. You're like, you're paid money to be an actor. There's tons of people who are not actors and who want to be actors. There was a friend of mine had a whole Facebook thread last night about how bad the movie draft day was. Really?

A friend of yours? It's on HBO Go now, and so he was watching it and was like updating his status. Oh, it's on HBO Go, I'm gonna watch it again. Yeah, I enjoy the film. Yeah, it's a good movie. Objectively, I think it's a good movie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. But he started- It was like right in the middle of my list that year. Yes. It was like a nice middle of the pack movie. I left it unranked due to bias on my letterbox list. Good point, good point. Wait, you have a letterbox to carry?

Quietly, I don't tell anyone. I'm going to find you. But my friend, my buddy Will Weldon, who is a great comedian, was posting. Was just ragging on it. Right, ragging on it, adding comments. And then some other people were like, man, this sounds so bad. I should watch it too and rag on it. And they were all ragging on it.

And then I just wrote like, hey, thanks for the kind words, everybody. Like I commented that. And then I was like feeling kind of whatever. And then I remembered like, wait, someone paid me money to be in that movie. Yeah, you were paid money to be in that movie. I don't care if people don't like it. That's crazy. Yeah, no, it's genuinely amazing.

Yeah, that's nuts. What was the point you were building up to here? Oh, what? Well, you're a professional actor. Yeah. What part would you want most in The Phantom Menace? You could have any part. Like what part would you most want to sink your teeth into?

Not a joke answer. No, not a joke answer. I your teeth into you're not a joke answer no not a joke answer i mean you can give me a joke answer if you want what in the script in fact give me your joke answer and then give me your joke answers obviously my serious answer or tc 14th boyfriend a part you would write oh boy into the movie yeah no if we're talking about the script as it is yeah as it is who i'd Who I'd want to play. Yeah, just swap you in. I think with credit, all deserving credit going to Connor Ratliff and his perspective that he's turned me out. I think I'd want to play Panaka and see if I could add a little spin to it. But you're sort of almost suggesting there that you would try to mess with what was on

the page and maybe give him a little more flair. But think about how negative he is about how things are going to work out. But we don't have an army, this and that. No, no, I totally understand. The guy that cast plays it very stoically, right? He does. What if I didn't change the words, but I was like, we don't have an army. Yeah, I think that you would.

That wasn't a good performance, that was a cold read. It was a disaster. It was a disaster. But I played it neurotic. I think Paddington is too low on your top uh oh you're looking at a 15 list I enjoyed it a lot I should mention I was having an extreme disassociative episode when I was watching Paddington I took a bunch of Valium and then don't do that yeah um do I still have this uh then I know I don't have I do but um no what what happened was uh god what the

fuck is this podcast how long we've been recording for man i mean it doesn't even matter i don't know i'm gonna edit a whole shit ton of this out so who fucking knows 10 minutes 20 30 i don't know i went to see paddington i was on valium i had a major panic attack and then i went i took on valium i took valium because i had a major panic attack and then I went I took on Valium I took Valium because I was having a panic attack I was trying to subside it

and it just got worse and worse yeah Valium doesn't seem like the right yeah so I went home and I was like just trying to fall asleep and turn my brain off

okay and I was like you just gotta like I was like you know so you rented Paddington or something like that no I watched it in the theater

oh okay my break started in the middle of the movie. Okay. Then I, which I did enjoy thoroughly. Great movie. But I had a hard time figuring out which parts were real and which parts were hallucinations. I understand. I was, because I, whatever.

Anyway, I have a stupid brain. I went home and I was trying to fall asleep and my brain was running too much. So I turned my phone onto the microphone mode where I could dictate. Dictate mode? Yeah. Because I was like, wait a second. I have such a good idea for a screenplay right now. Before I fall asleep, I have to get this off my head.

Yeah. Can I read this quickly? Yeah, go ahead. Volume notes, January 20th, 2015. So did you say that out loud? Yes. Cool. So this is dictated into my phone.

Yeah. You might go, oh, some of these autocorrect. Not many. Most of these are the words that I intended to say. Yeah, okay. I'm not saying it mostly works. No, no, just please go ahead. I'm saying don't assume that the technology failed me.

This is the degree to which my brain was working at the time that I dictated this. We're covered with the smile airport for the sea structures, or we'll merge cartoony smiling whales with business being conducted over blue skies rich crystal clear crackling waves patio clean white man made it summer man mad as a zebra sun tanning chaise lounge which to me is so phone reception is eyes made of toys it's ripping off in call block frozen gel color of night. Floating in space of pure and clean inside coins, March coins. Oh, sorry, March corns.

That didn't make sense otherwise. Wired points inside the scoring rectangle. Man, clean suit string, being arms all floors. Nomak had a talk. His back spaghetti arms over bad elephant. Preshen sliding through the desert best friend is a white sweater coupon soaking wet brown cable knit sweater flopping a long trusted ally off white skies cream cream cream colored everything except for the creatures

cream houses cesar perez granny flat like swimming in gray house paint. I just want good apartment box man sweater. And so this was you reading your thoughts. It's sort of a stream of consciousness. I thought it was an idea for a screenplay. In the moment, I thought that that was a good idea for a screenplay. You got to figure that cream houses Cesar Perez granny. There's something that got lost in translation there. I remember some of that. I remember some of that.

Okay. Sounds good. Cream everything was that the skies in translation there. I remember some of that. I remember some of that. Okay. Sounds good. Cream everything was that the skies and the ground and the buildings were all cream, and the only things that weren't cream were the creatures. So it was like a reverse camouflage. I suppose you're the best person to interpret your brain's thought process. Sure. And the soaking wet sweater was, I like the idea of ascending a creature that was just a sweater that was soaking wet that was flopping on the floor and talking through the mouth hole.

Well, that was a low point of my mental sanity, and this episode feels like an even lower point. No, I think we're okay. I'm going to call it. You're just going to call The Phantom Menace full stop? We've found everything that we can find in the episode. Next week is going to be our last episode of The Phantom Podcast.

We're not going to stop podcasting. No, we are going to keep on talking about stuff because we've let this go on far too long. This has gotten too sweaty. But next week we're going to have some of our trusted friends, allies, idols, listeners. Yeah. People send us their interpretations, their quick audio recordings of what they think the film is about. And we'll see if anyone else has the answers because we don't. It's about like Palpatine in his apartment.

So we're asking fans, please send in your thoughts. We've gotten some already, haven't we? Yeah, we've gotten a couple. Also, if perhaps maybe from today's episode, if you want to send in some of your own fan fiction to us. Yeah, but keep it short. Let's say that. Keep it short. That's the big thing looking through all these. They're too long. Right. Yeah.

So keep it precise. You mean the fan fiction is just too long? It's just too long. I'll throw out a suggestion though. Maybe Fifty Shades of Gra Gra. That seems like that would be fun. Would be perfect. Gra Gra and her husband is like, why isn't that in the fan fiction?

Yeah. Is no one else reading Wikipedia? I guess not. Okay. Unfortunately, no one's listening to the podcast at this point, so there's no one to hear our plea. Let's wrap up this episode. Here's the merchandise spotlight. I went to a QVC the other day

and I saw still for $11.49. You went to QVC? I'm sorry, not QVC. CVS. I was going to say you went inside a cable channel. My brain feels destroyed right now. I went to a CVS and they had...

Oh no, it was a Rite Aid. I'm looking at the tag here. This is the worst episode of any podcast in history. No, it's not true. It's an action figure of Darth Sidious, but the hologram one. Oh, on the little walking. Right. So it's that moment that George is really proud of.

Did you buy this? No, it was $11.49. That's way too expensive. That's a lot of money. Coming from the guy who spent $30 on ComTech checks. Why didn't you bring those in? The whole episode should have just been us playing all of the ComTech checks. I'm genuinely so embarrassed that I

bought them that I'm too ashamed to go to the post office. I know they're going to hand it over and not know what it is. They don't know. But I hate the fact that I'm going to have a box in my hand with ComTech checks. The other thing was I haven't found the reader yet. So I would bring them and then we'd just look at them. We couldn't even play them. I think that'd be boring.

Maybe we'll do that next week when we're playing all these audio clips. But yeah, this action figure isn't even, it's not even articulated. It's just a little figurine of a hologram Palpatine that's small and then the main action figure is the little, the hologram walker that you said the holograms can walk.

That's the thing that moves. Yeah. It's kind of cool though that he's like see-through. It's like a see-through action figure. Yeah, I like that, too. It shouldn't cost that much money. I had an Iceman action figure that you could put in the freezer, and then he would like, you know, he'd sort of turn icy. It was cool.

Yeah. Yeah, that sounds great. I don't know. Character spotlight. I had a lot of X-Men action figures. Character spotlight. Some background alien. He turns out to be a murderer.

We have a character spotlight? That's something we do? The Wikipedia, when we do the I guess so I guess we just go down that role every week so just pick some background alien from the most espy sequence and just imagine that he's a murderer or some kind of degenerate

that's all this ever fucking turns out to be the merchandise is stupid the characters are all low life the movie is just about fucking power it's a rich man complaining about the system abusing him. I suppose. This has been an emotional rollercoaster. For Griffin. Mostly I have sat in the corner

giggling. I have an audition to get to. I'm gonna try not to play a fucking artsy asshole. So yes, next week will be our last episode, so please get in there. Of this. Of this. Right. But we are going to continue so maybe even if you want to have some fans suggest perhaps some of the films or

just something from pop culture that you want us to talk about. We do have to Google Star Wars, though. I keep forgetting to do that. Yeah. Well, maybe the direction we'll go, and we'll do this next week on air, but maybe on IMDb it has similar movies. Movies with connections. What's that?

You might also like... What's IMDb? Yeah. I don't know. It's the Internet Movie Database. Okay. Oh. So, of course, we used it for our performance review episode. Oh, I checked out on that one.

Oh, right. Yeah. The point is. That was a good episode. That was a really good one. It was the best times. It was the worst times. Yeah, this one's bad. This is actually just a good episode. That was a really good one. It's the best times, it was the worst times. Yeah, this one's bad.

This is actually just a bad episode. It's just a bad piece of media. Poor content. My point is that we need to figure out what we're going to talk about next. I don't know if the next thing we talk about we're going to talk about for 10 consecutive episodes.

Maybe it's shorter. Yeah, maybe a little shorter. But let's go on there next week on air, Phantom Menace, and see the recommendations. If you like this movie, you might also like it. Maybe there's something in a similar vein that can scratch our itch. I'm hungry. Yeah, me too. But I don't get to eat because I got a fucking audition. Oh, you don't eat before auditions?

It's just too much. This must end. Usually if I eat before an audition I spend the whole audition thinking about how badly I want to poop um I'm gonna tweet the link to this episode

saying do not listen to this episode yeah our goal for this episode is to get zero listens this is anti-podcasting you're right

exactly yeah next week's gonna be a good episode we're gonna wrap it up yes yeah absolutely we're gonna play audio clips from some of the

brightest stars in hollywood and notable notable film critics and our favorite listeners and they're all gonna tell us what the phantom mess means so far we have two clips but boy are we gonna collect some more and we're all we're gonna close the book on the phantom menace and then move on to our next chapter which by fandom man seems like it might be Judging the Judge. Yep. A podcast about the Robert Downey Jr.

David Dobkin film The Judge. That's right. With Vincent Deneau for you. Yep. So that's what's coming up. Get ready.

All right. What do you have to say, David? Oh, I'm so sorry. We're done. Ben, you have to say, David? I'm so sorry Ben, you have to wrap it up And as always You have to say and as always And then say something that we've never said before And as always

Goodbye, Fennel Bye, Fennel Goodbye, Fennel's now