Blank Check with Griffin & David - I’ll Do Anything: The Musical Cut with Esther Zuckerman

Episode Date: April 12, 2018

James L. Brooks had originally shot I’ll Do Anything as a musical. But in the test screening it was so disastrous the studio insisted he cut all the musical sequences out and reshoot new scenes to fill it in. Having reviewed that theatrical cut, Griffin and David revisit this film with returning guest Esther Zuckerman and discuss the lost, coveted musical cut of I’ll Do Anything in a special bonus episode. But what would the child of Albert Brooks and Julie Kavner sound like? Why does Griffin insist on singing the horrid song “You Are The Best?” Is this episode haunted? Together they go through all the musical numbers and try to decide if this version of the movie makes it any less worse.

Maybe we shouldn't even read. I'll just take your word that you're good. No, no, no, no, I'm serious. I mean, they're all different ways. Did you know that Bertolucci never reads actors? He just looks at them, feels around a little, and then decides who he wants. That's his way. Doesn't hear them do a line. I also have a way. What I do is interview first, then read, maybe do it all over again the next day. I call up people the actor has worked with, check them out.

If he's famous, I do an opinion survey, test how much people like him. If he's not famous, I put him on tape, show it to everyone I can grab. I believe in screen tests. I believe in replacing. If the dailies are bad and cutting people like him. If he's not famous, I put him on tape, show it to everyone I can grab. I believe in screen tests. I believe in replacing if the dailies are bad and cutting people out if the previews aren't there. Because I'm not doing movies for theaters where they serve cappuccino in the lobby. I'm doing popcorn movies. You want to know what I like? Come to my house.

Look at my lamps. You won't find it in my movies. In my movies, you'll find out what I know. I know how to do detail. What I don't know, I discover. Yesterday, we finished mixing a movie. The last scene is in a field of windmills with blow-up, and all the blades of these windmills

slice through the air. One of them hits a four-story tank of propane gas. A humongous explosion scene. I kept on saying, louder. And they finally said to me, they couldn't go louder without distortion. We went louder. We had to discover a thing, a filter. But then we went louder. I don't question doing these things. I do them. So if you want to know if it's okay to do it differently, not to

talk, to just read first, I say ask him. He's the podcast. So Griffin just passed out. Griffin's dead. We never should have told him this. It's wild that you sang for the last one. Yes. Oh yeah. That's what you did last time. But I fucked it up

in that sense because folks, this is a surprise bonus episode. Good. We have released an episode on James L. Brooks' third film and his first bounce. God, it was only his third film. Yeah. I keep forgetting that. It's crazy.

Yes. I'll do anything. We recorded that episode approximately 15 years ago. Yes. I believe the sun was still like a small little dot you know what i mean like i hadn't yet reached like yellow we were still just vaguely multi-celled creatures washing up on the land right right trying to learn how to score it had but it was still cooling it was hot to the touch and it wasn't really a sphere yet it was still

kind of like cuby you know it was getting a sphere well world is flat. We don't know the world's flat. Oh, wow. I didn't know that. You were one of them. One of them peeps. Oh, yeah. A hundred percent. So you're going to like get a jet pack and like shoot yourself up.

Straight up. And then I'm going to ride that jet pack straight into the basement of Rocket Pizza. All right. So should we start over? Yeah, let's start over. Yeah. Let's pick up that monologue from the top. Listen, listen to me.

It's a good book. How do you want to do it? Esther, he does a good Brooks. Listen, listen to me. It's a good Brooks. Esther, he does a good Brooks. Yeah, I know. It's a really good Brooks. It's very good Brooks in this movie. I was going to say, my problem is actually with younger Brooks. Like when he's a little higher pitch. Like real life?

Right, right. But I feel like I can do later Brooks and I can do this because he's super gravelly. This is later Brooks. Once you're in the 90s, I think you're in later Brooks. But I'm better at like like current day like drive brooks of just just let it bleed let it bleed that's a rough scene yeah yeah remember drive yes yeah were you in college esther yeah 2011 yeah did you see drive that's why i didn't see it in theaters yeah i was gonna say we've talked about this but it's

crazy that everyone thought he was gonna win the oscar that year everyone, I was going to say. We've talked about this, but it's crazy that everyone thought he was going to win the Oscar that year. Everyone thought he was going to win the Oscar. Like from the moment it premiered at Cannes, they were like, well, sewed up. There we go.

Because there was just this assumption like, oh, he's a beloved guy. He's been in the industry for decades. This is his moment. Playing against type. It's so showy.

And he's very good in the movie. What do you think of that movie when you finally saw it? I'm not, I don't have a really well-formed opinion on it mainly because i like watched it on my computer like sort of half-heartedly late at night once like for a story and i wasn't really paying attention so like i just genuinely don't feel like qualified to talk about it hendrix's head explodes in that movie yeah she's

really good in that movie she's good i haven't seen haven't seen it in years. I saw it in theaters, liked it, bought it on Blu-ray, watched it once more, liked it, but I was never a ride or die driver. I just remember

being so excited. I mean, I'm a good driver. Fuck you. Humble brag. I remember just being so excited by the gosling of it all because it felt like

he was finally giving in to being a movie star. There had been those great years where he was fighting against it. It was like, dude, you're so charming. Just be cool in movies. The jacket?

Wait, he had a famous jacket in that movie? Am I going to get confused with... You're trying to think of another movie with a jacket right now? I have a jacket and I have nothing. Adrian Brody's the jacket. I want to make clear, Ben often wears a members-only jacket

and it's super cool. It's super cool. I saw a dude on the F train the other day in March. FYI for listeners, he's actually referring to the other day. That's how live this episode is. We're recording this the week of because breaking announcement, which I'll get to in a moment before I get this really important anecdote out of the way. I saw a guy in March on the F train

wearing a Drive jacket with a toothpick. Wow. Oh, so he was like still doing the bit? It is not Halloween. Have you been doing this bit every day since Drive came out in 2011? Or did you just see Drive on Cinemax like a week ago? If that's true,

then I support him. If he was just like, you know what? That was a good movie. I should wear that jacket. Yeah, right. Like listening to Kavinsky like on loop constantly whenever he's walking around. Yeah.

Now we have a podcast called Night Call. That's true. Emily Yoshida, Molly Lambert, Tess Lynch. Mr. Tess Lynch. Check it out.

Nailed it. So, this is Blank Shack with Griffin and David. I'm Griffin Newman. Oh, I'm David Sims. We're hashtag the two friends competitive advantage. And we talk about filmography.

Strictly a massive successor to a lot of their career. Giving a series of blank checks and make whatever crazy passion projects they want. This was James L. Brooks' first big blank check, which he had shot as a musical. And then the test screening was so disastrous, they made him cut all the musical sequences out and reshoot some new scenes to fill it in and we in our episode when we recorded talked about how much we wish we were able

to see the musical version and after recording a blankie, Jake McKay messaged me and said hey do you guys have a copy of the musical version? I was like no I wish we had it and he was like I think I found it. Wild.

Wild. Ripped it, uploaded it to the internet, sent it to me. I lost the links. Yeah, you did. You fucked it up for a while. He re-uploaded it. Right. I saved it, sent the links,

and we now all have seen the lost, coveted cut of i'll do anything so this is an emergency bonus episode in which we're going to compare the differences between the two versions of this movie that is still bad it's still very worse weirdly worse right yeah i wanted it to be better so badly but and i think you can barely argue that it's even more interesting. It's kind of the same movie just with a bunch of shitty songs. The songs are so bad. They're horrible. So bad. I had in my mind's eye, especially when people talked about him wanting to make like an old style Hollywood musical.

I was like, these are going to be very traditional musical numbers. And they're like such bad. She appears in the movie. Yeah. They all sound like white man funk from 1992. Like they sound like such bad she appears in the movie they all sound like white man funk from 1992 like they sound like Kenny G backing tracks I already can't remember any of them go on Esther

you seem to be taking notes I did take some notes I watched it this morning to be clear I didn't even watch it yesterday it's 2 hours and 40 minutes long I watched it very piecemeal I have a lot of stuff to do and I could not sit I watched some of it last night I watched some of it on because I couldn't like, I was like, I have a lot of stuff to do. I watched it with some breaks. And I like could not like sit.

I watched some of it last night. I watched some of it on the elliptical in the gym. How was your gym session? It was pretty chill. I watched. You watched all the way. Because it was split into two files for the sake of Jake uploading. And I was like, okay, cool.

He also said, so he, I guess his local video store, which has sort of a Kim's video vibe where they rent out a lot of sort of bootleggy, out-of-print stuff. He was going through their catalog and saw that they had listed, I'll do anything the musical print. And he was like, look, I don't know if this is legit, but I'm going to rent it and try to see if it works. And he was like, I got it. It's the real deal. It's really low quality. I'm going to upload it.

It has to be two files because it's on two discs. And the first file is an hour and 40 minutes. So I was like, what's the real deal. It's really low quality. I'm going to upload it. It has to be two files because it's on two discs. Right. And the first file is an hour and 40 minutes. Yes. So I was like, what's the second file? 15 minutes?

No, it's another hour. Yeah, I think the full cut is like 220. The final movie cut is an hour and 55 minutes. So like, I literally, like apparently

they reshot some scenes. I guess they did. I can't remember the movie well enough. There's one in particular I know they did. I can't remember the movie well enough. There's one in particular I know they added. There were a couple things that were slightly different, but still, it's basically like they just took the songs out. They got rid of the weird, like, scene after he tests for Mr. Deeds where she's like. They talk about not wanting to sleep with him.

Yeah. They just have her explain it. They didn't have that. Yeah. where they talk about not wanting to sleep with him yeah they just have her explain that yeah and then there were some lines that i like found particularly offensive that i wrote that i thought they cut but i also didn't want to spend four dollars on amazon and go back and like double check i kept on watching the movie there would be a moment so weird and i'd be like there's no way this was in the old version and then i was have been. It probably was. Like the movie does something so weird at least four times a minute that you can't really process and catalog all of them. There's some more racism.

Definitely. The other big scene I noticed was missing from this. Because they did say that like after the studio was like, you got to cut these songs out. I think he did a week or two of reshoots to sort of like fill in gaps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the big thing added, which was the thing that you complained last time you barely even picked up on

because it was so offhand, Julie Kavner's explanation about her medicine. So that was what I, I was, I was going to mention this because yeah, I didn't,

like it was so offhand, I didn't catch it the first time I watched it. And then I was like listening for it this time and then I was like, it's not fair. So obviously it was something

somebody said like, you need to, someone was like, this needs to make sense. Why is she always being so blunt with everybody was like it's not fair. So obviously it was something somebody said like you need to make sense. Why is she always being so blunt with everybody? But that's like insane.

Why can't a person just be blunt? No. No no no because she's a woman with breasts. Right. So no.

But there's like both the scene or whatever. She needs to be a nice accommodating person and all that. I don't know. It is crazy

because like She should smile a little. When she does that bit Come on Zoe why don't you smile a little? when she does that. Come on. When she does that bit in the actual cut of the movie, you're like, Oh, this is right.

This is some hilarious idea. Right. Where it's like, Oh, like everyone in Hollywood's always so mean. Like, what if I came up with like a crazy sci-fi explanation for it? And instead,

clearly it was the movies. The producers were like, she's too me. Yeah. Come up with a crazy sci-fi explanation for that. But I remember the old cut once again we watched it three four months ago didn't want to rent it again i remember not only the scene where in an aside she says like hey i'm sorry about the other day i'm on new medication homie uh not a bad cabinet i'm working on it imagine the voice of her child with albert Albert Brooks if they made it.

It sounds like a pterodactyl, a Jewish pterodactyl. I want to see a movie where it's like a love triangle between Brooks Kavner and Nolte

and they're trying to figure out the paternity of the child based on the voice and they're like, it's close. Is it more Nolte

or Brooks? I don't know what you're talking about. I just got sidetracked on the voice. And they're like, it's close. Is it more Nolte or Brooks? It's like, listen, Kimmy, I don't know what you're talking about. I just got sidetracked on the idea of the Jewish pterodactyl, and I want him to be named Shlomo, and there to be a children's book about Shlomo, the Jewish pterodactyl.

Hey, look, I mean, that's your first million dollar idea, I think, right there. I'll do anything to get those book rights. Thank you. We're starting a new publishing imprint as well. Yep. Blink Check Press.

But I also remember a moment in the theatrical version where you see her taking the pills. Like, there's some weird just sort of, like, connection material stuff. What's up, Ben? Ben's pointing at something. Intro the guest. We did, didn't we?

Oh, it's still Esther Zuckerman. She's back in the studio. I don't think we did, right? No, I don't think you did, but, like, I'm still here. Yes, it's still Esther. She's been here in the studio. I don't think we did, right? No, I don't think you did, but I'm still here. Yes, it's still Esther. She's been here in the studio for four months waiting. Honestly, I'm glad we're finally recording so you can get out of here. Yeah, they trapped

me here. She's had to sit very silently. Been here for three months. When did we record? There's a pile of cup of noodles. There's a pile of, oh, Pacino's waking up. Hey, let me sleep. But your retrospective was so well done at the Quad Cinema. I know, thanks to C. Mason Wells. No, Esther, I mean, I apologize.

The best damn C. Mason Wells shout out there could possibly be. Esther, I apologize. You've had to slurp your cup of noodles quietly during episodes of Snooki's podcast. Wait, is this when you have a podcast on Audioboom? Yes, I produce it. It's called It's Happening. How is she? Cole's great.

First name basis, you know. Richard Lawson recently got retweeted by Snooki because he threw some shade at an event. He went to the premiere event. Although I feel like he was more throwing shade at himself. It was more of a sort of, oh, I'm so old. Jersey went to the premiere event. Although I feel like he was more throwing shade at himself. It was more of a sort of

oh I'm so old Jersey Shore is like being revived. But her response was it sounds like you should write a book or something to that effect.

Which I thought was amazing. I know. I couldn't tell if she knew he'd written a book or if she was just like She definitely didn't know he'd written a book. Knowing some spooky shade.

Maybe she like googled him. She's a big YA head. Is she? No She definitely didn't know who she was. No, it's Snooki Shade. Maybe she like Googled him. She's a big YA head. Is she? No. I don't know. I don't know anything about her. I haven't seen Jersey Shore since, I don't know, 2010? Like, whatever it was on?

The family's back. Jersey Shore is back. The family's back. Esther's back in the studio. Yes. I'll do anything. Esther Zuckerman. The great Esther Zuckerman.

She's got a sort of crossed arms like kind of an Esther face. Oh, what's an Esther face? Like one of those classic Esther faces. Wait, that sort of reminds me of a song. Let's do the song. Oh. You are the best. No, don't do that fucking song.

You can do everything. You can do everything you want. Wait, after literally, but like. I guess Snestorface is sort of like a smirk, but without like the meanness that comes with a smirk. Like a sort of a knowing smile. It's sort of like sometimes you laugh, sometimes you cry. That's not what it is. No, that's not how the song is.

No weird hand gestures, to be clear. After watching the musical, like I didn't remember any of the songs except i got on the train being like like on the way here being like you are the best like it just started singing it it's incredibly i am an idiot i don't remember the words to the baby song does she have that scene in the original movie where she's like with joely richardson and she does three different takes yes and they're, that is. Yeah, right. Because there's that weird child star musical number. Okay, let's just go through the musical numbers. Let's just do the numbers and then we can just talk

about whatever. I'll say this. This is definitely a more fascinating watch because of the meta element of like, here's this movie that's so much around testing movies that aren't working. And we're watching the test print where there's no score. There aren't sound effects. The quality is bad. There are real like quality is bad there are real breaks like every real breaks 15 minutes there's like a technicolor countdown i know did you like the real breaks ben i did yeah yeah

they're cool they are the best no they can do everything i want the listener to be to know that every time griffin does that he literally puts his hands on his hips. Sometimes you laugh. Sometimes you cry. She does that thing where she puts her hands under her face. I know, to signify sadness. And she does the same thing when it's good. I'm gonna be on TV and they're gonna give me money. I mean, she sucks. Sorry, child.

She is the worst. She's older now. She can't do anything. She's 31 years older. i think the musical actually makes her slightly better yes i think that's true too just because it makes everything seem more heightened anyway so it's sort of like yeah she doesn't stick out quite as strangely shrill oh that's a bad word that's a bad word to say about a woman i'm sorry but she's not a woman she's a girl she literally is she's not a girl she's a demon let's be honest she's a little she's a succub to say about a woman. I'm sorry. I'm a terrible woman. But she's not a woman. She's a girl. She literally is. She's not a girl.

She's a demon. Let's be honest. She's a little, she's a succubus from hell. I don't know how mean we were. And it is probably annoying for the listener because they've just listened to the episode and I don't remember anything about it. But I don't know how mean we were,

but she's awful. I'll say, I mean, we're going to be meaner this episode because we had to watch it a second time. Griffin kept being like, let's do this guys. And I kept being like,

I have to watch it again? I definitely zoned out during not the musical. I mean, mostly you just watched the musical. I was working on other things. The thing I was going to say, well, we'll get to it in order, but I feel like her

number, her big solo number she has is a disaster, but it's also the one moment where i sort of see what he wanted to get at by making it a musical if that makes sense sure okay well let's do all the numbers so the opening number is wow which immediately i'm like this we made a terrible mistake which is a real prince title like it is a real title for a song that is the song that i i will say i do remember from when the listeners said, I did read the lyrics to Wow.

Oh, that's right. That was what was like, Wow was a song that I knew was in it. It contains to the lyrics, make it L to the A-R-G-E large. Yes. They keep on saying L to the A-R-G-E. It's basically kind of like a chorus line number, right?

Like it's sort of like a God I Hope I Get It number. Not really, because the lyrics aren't about that. Yeah, you're right. They're like boasting after premiering a show and where are they supposed to be?

They're at like a party? I think they're in New York or something. Nolte's got his like fright wig on. Well, let's just take it from the top. It's like a hair type number.

It's like a hair type show. I thought you guys were going to sing all the songs but that's the thing it feels like a weird kind of like outcast show and then they're in this big ballroom kind of space and he's playing like 10 years younger he's supposed to be like it's supposed to be mid 80s I guess

I think the show that they're doing is supposed to be like a Jesus Christ Superstar topical reference um rip off because the one thing we know about the show is in the reviews everyone gets a bad review but mad habs in the mad hobs in the supporting role as jesus right right it is great and he's got the hair it's like a god spell it looks like he's in hair crunchy hippie musical kind of thing that makes sense for like 20 years before 1994 like right yeah right but it's this musical number of all of them doing this victory lap and then you realize at the end of it that the victory lap is just that they've done their first performance but they still haven't gotten the reviews i think it's like opening or something it's like the

opening night party and and the music is like really bad white man funk like it's synthy like overproduced it's not very musically like they don't none of them sound like story songs they sound like bad r&b balance but that's why they were able to take them out and still have a move completely they didn't have any yeah it reflects horribly that you can just take the songs out. Right. Yeah, it's a bad sign. The movie survives taking the songs out. It's not good.

And there are long periods in it. So this like first number happens, and then there's like 20 minutes with no singing. And also most of the actors clearly were like, I don't want to sing in this fucking thing. So all the musical numbers are mostly centered around like Broadway, like ensemble people. They just get people who clearly have musical theater background and do a lot of choreography and a lot of singing.

And anytime it's one of our principals singing, they're sort of talk singing and they just kind of sit in a chair. And they feel like most of the numbers feel weird. Almost like cartoony interludes. Yeah, they almost feel like act breaks. It's like a like after these messages we'll be right back even though you said your thing about like you know you get it makes the girl a little less a little more tolerable yeah like it's not what you want though it's not like because what i thought was like right okay well with the musicals maybe some of these more

heightened scenes like the monologue you did they they'll fit better. Like it'll be more like, Oh, we're in a crazy heightened world of Hollywood. James L. Brooks has said when he explained why he wanted to make it a musical, that's like, it's this idea of getting at these ecstatic emotions that you don't have words for.

And the only way for it to come out is, is through like song, which is like, it's like musicals. Right. That's right. But it's like, that's a pretty smart analysis of why the musical exists

as a storytelling form and why you want to have songs in a show to like get the things that couldn't be expressed through mere words. You know? And it's also

it often works very well if songs kind of function like interior monologues if not literally the dialogue that would sound way too sort of expository

if the characters were saying it. And then so many of these songs are just like fucking wallpaper. It's just like a song about all them being happy. Well, I mean,

this is the problem with when you have a bunch of different composers try to write songs for a musical, which like, you know, it is one of the criticisms I have for the otherwise delightful

SpongeBob on Broadway. Right, which is, I've heard that. It's not very cohesive. Every song is written by someone different. Then I heard that there was a lot of work done to try and add cohesion later.

It is otherwise delightful. I want to be on record saying that. The songs are sort of boring and you don't really have a distinctive through line because a different person wrote all of them but they are better much better than what is in i'll do anything i mean the style the only style shared by all the songs in this movie are is shitty they share a shitty style of music yeah and then they all also function differently like they all have different ideas of how a musical number would work in this movie.

So there's not even a cohesion in like, you know, oh, oh, these are the types of moments where they break out into the song and the song serve this sort of story function. Right. It didn't feel like Brooks went to these artists and be like, I need a song for this moment. He said, like, give me a song and i'll try to fit it in and almost like dvd chapter breaks where it's like okay there's an edit at minute 21 yeah we fit a song in here um so so wow is the first thing that ends with the um uh someone producer yeah well no getting the review on the phone which she's trying to transcribe the review as they read it to her off of the phone and she transcribes it into like the largest piece of

paper in the world is like so so at least you're like kind of like okay well this feels so heightened that maybe this will smooth out some of the other sections of the movie which never happens again like the rest of the movie still feels overly big and out of whack but the review is bad he's the only thing that gets a good notice but the other thing they set up here which otherwise is not covered in the movie is that tracy ullman is in the play with him and that she was also an actress yeah yeah but they don't seem to like each other then then it's hard cut to them he like it's like she's standing with somebody else and he's and it's like he like makes a pass he goes looking good today and they're like is it you or she's standing with somebody else and it's like. He like makes a pass. He goes like, looking good today.

And they're like, is it you or is it me? Then hard cut to him watching the Emmys, which is otherwise the cold open. Yeah, then you just cut to the movie. Right. Yeah. But. And then there's like 20 minutes with no music. On the TV, when they're watching the Emmys, they are doing a number of wow before it goes

into his category. Oh, wow. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Wow. Mater. So then 20 minutes go

and the next musical number is the titular I'll Do Anything, right? Yes. This is Albert Brooks' tap dancing focus group number. Yes. Which I thought there was

a number there originally but I wasn't but I thought it was different than what it was. That was not the number I thought it was going to be. Or Twyla. Albert Brooks is weirdly

the actor. What do you think happened to Twyla on this one, Ben? She got thwarped. Ben said thatla. Albert Brooks is weirdly the actor. What do you think happened to Twyla on this one, Ben? She got thwarped. Ben said that to me off mic and I knew that had to be used

on mic. Okay. Five comedy points, Ben. Five alley-oop points, David. Thank you. Albert Brooks is weirdly the guy who acquits

himself best of the principal actors. Like, it's very embarrassing to watch, but you're like, you're really committing to this. Whereas Nolte feels really one foot in, one foot out.

Well, Nolte has one. Right. But even he looks so embarrassed while doing the song. Brooks is like, it's more embarrassing because he's trying, but you also got to give him

an A for effort. Yeah. But he's really like, he's Harvey Fierstein-ing it. Right. He doesn't have vocal range, but he's really giving it his all. And he's doing a lot of like impassioned like fist thrusts. A lot of hip.

A lot of hip. A lot of hip. A lot of hip. A lot of hip. Because like, you know, when you're singing and walking, like you got to have a certain like body language to it. And he's selling it. Right.

It's bad. Because it's like Albert Brooks can't sing's bad. Albert Brooks can't sing. Albert Brooks can't dance. So I guess the way they... He just sort of barks and hip-whacks. It's him pulling up into the first test screening

of... What's the movie called again? I don't know. It's the one with the hook. The meat movie with Woody Harrelson. Isn't it called Prime Suspect or something Ground Zero is it yes it is called

Ground Zero which is such a weird but that's right yeah cause it's pre 9-11 otherwise it's all I know

meat puns but it's like he pulls in the crowd is waiting to get in and he's like they greet him like it's a premiere

and he's a star he's a fucking hobgoblin. He does this number where he's trying to seduce them into liking his movies. It's supposed to be, I guess, this is sort of an ecstatic truth of him trying to constantly court the public. A lot of the music is weirdly sexy sounding. Am I wrong? It sounds like bad fuck music.

It sounds like bad white man funk. It sounds like the music that your dad would dance to in 1991 and bite his lip and stick his thumbs out. This has got a real groove to it. It's like wedding band music. It's like real wedding

band music. So he does this super sexual number in which, you know, a bunch of dancers flank him and give it their all. There is tapping. I do love a tap number. Yeah. And then it goes into. A tap number is one of my favorite numbers. test screening of this movie, the like now historic disastrous test screening where you're watching this number and you and the audience are

the audience turning against the movie that is depicting an audience turning against a movie and the producer going through a crisis. Like the levels of this must have just been mind-boggling, right? Yeah, no, I thought about that. And it's like weird because that should be, I mean

I guess I thought about it a little bit when I was watching it the first time. But it's worse. Watching the version that, because Julie Kavner comes out and she's like, so the movie isn't done yet. The colors aren't ready. And you're like, you're describing what I'm watching right now on a bootleg. That's true. I'm excited that spoiler alert, Yardley Smith. Yeah, she pops up.

I get to have a solo. Do you have one? She gets a solo. Oh boy. And she's in this business. Do you have. Yardley Smith. Yeah. She pops up. Do you have one? She gets a solo. Oh boy. And she's in this business. Do you have a Yardley Smith? Um, God. I mean,

it's a distinctive voice. Yeah. Um. Cause when she does it in as good as it gets, you're like, there she is. Yardley Smith.

No, I can't. It's, it's too. Yeah. I'm trying to think of a good line to say. I don't. I mean,

that's the bit is that Lisa doesn't have If anyone needs me I'll be in my room If anyone needs me I'll be in my room No it's not good I love that Simpsons bit so much So good Hey I mean Lisa is the greatest character In the history of television

And I am tired of people using Lisa Simpson As a fucking pejorative Insult They're so stupid. That's just idiots. Yeah. It's just like literal morons. Yeah.

What a fucking misread of everything. I like Homer. Yeah, he's good. Yeah, they're all good. He's a good show. Okay. Homer's genius because he could reference Warren Burger, right? But then he's also a dumb man who would

try to eat a pie and then run into an overhead fan. Yeah, Homer's pretty cool. Alright, so the third number is... And there's decent chunks of breaks. It's like 20 minutes per number, just about.

The third number would be... Oh, no, the third number is Tracy Ullman, which is one of the creepiest things oh boy oh yeah this is right this is where it went from bad to reprehensible yeah the third number is chasie allman i think the fourth number is the daughter like that's the real pit like that is and they're also both of those numbers are weirdly religious they're about god right the allman also like she can't sing. I could have sworn she could sing. Hasn't she done Broadway? Maybe not. I'm just saying she was

weirdly off key. She's at least done filmed musical. She was in Into the Woods the movie and she was she did Once Upon a Mattress on ABC. A non-live Wonderful World of Disney version of Once Upon a Mattress.

The early Marin and Zayden. Yeah. She only did a one-woman show on Broadway, so I don't know. But she's done musicals. I mean, I don't know. I don't know.

She just didn't. She wasn't hitting them notes for me here. But her song is so fucking weird. It's weird. It is about, it is like, it's a list of things

that, reminders. Right. And it's like, is about it is like it's a list of things that reminders right and it's like say your prayers look both ways before don't cross on a yellow always wait for a green there's a weird squeaky noise it's gone was that me i don't know no i don't know i did I didn't hear it is it haunted that was fucking weird dude it was like yeah alright come on keep going Esther

um her weird religious number oh yeah it's like don't like yeah it's don't cross on a yellow there's a green is it me

I don't know is it someone's chair maybe maybe it's my chair I'm sorry maybe it's your chair okay don't cross is it god it might be god it might be squeaky it's because oh no we we we made him angry

oh oh by not listening to the reminder whoa i just got loud okay um no it's it's a very strange number and she's really intense in it. It's like God will make things right. Right. It's the overarching theme of the number. It ends with her saying what she's been singing, because essentially the song has five sentences that she just keeps on singing over and over again.

Yes. And in the movie, they just cut into her saying it the last time rather than singing it i guess because she does say it i was like why do these lyrics sound familiar it's because they keep in the time she says it in dialogue well even in dialogue before she starts singing she's telling her like don't brush your teeth if you don't brush your teeth like your mouth will fill with blood and you'll choke on your own farm. Oh, my God. So then the daughter continues to be a nightmare.

She's super unpleasant. She's the same. Right. And then they give her this number 20 minutes in when Matt is like. Give me 20 minutes into her appearing. Right. 20 minutes later. Which again is like 40 minutes into the movie. I kind of forgot about that too.

This movie is such a fucking mess. This movie should be about Brooks and Kavner. Yeah, that should be the whole film. Nolte should be a supporting role maybe. And it should just be like a Hollywood comedy. Right. Not like a child-rearing comedy. No, the fix is you make this into a meta movie.

No, you're putting more layers in. What happens is it's somewhere in the middle of the movie the like the like film melts yeah and then they try and just like the gremlins take over the theater yeah try to fix it kind of you know and then there's new actors and it should have just been self-aware enough to be like this is bad gremlins is referenced in this movie yeah i mean what do i know i'm the person who passed on gremlins i mean this is the Ready Player One of the 90s. A hundred percent. I think Ben's on to something.

What if every 20 minutes in this movie, they cut to a test screening of what you had just seen and people throwing their chairs at the wall and going like, okay, let's start over. And then the 20 minutes later of watching them trying to fix that movie would then pan out to a test screening. What if it cuts to James L. Brooks just like in his apartment, just like trying to figure that movie would then pan out to a test screening. What if it cuts to James L. Brooks

just in his apartment trying to figure out what to do at a typewriter, just talking to his producer. That would have made it more interesting. It's like the discreet charm of the bourgeoisie of focus groups. That would be good.

I just also, I watch this movie especially watching it a second time. It feels pretty fundamentally unfixable. I don't I just also like, I watched this movie, especially watching a second time. It feels pretty fundamentally unfixable. I don't think this is an idea that ever should have worked, but I do think that's the stronger movie is the Brooks Kavner movie. I think so. I think it's just more automatically funny and more what he knows. And then all these weird interludes with like the lady upstairs and like the TV show,

like are just like, you're like, what is this doing in this movie yeah but even i mean it's just like there's no story anywhere there's nothing like even even the brooks and cavner stuff i mean sure because they're like sort of interesting characters and they're good actors but that section also has a little more bite to it in terms of him trying to like satirize the industry whereas when i watch the nolte stuff it's a lot of like the forced manufactured like isn't

this charming that plagues later Brooks films. Coupled with like I've been a struggling actor for the last fucking decade and I watch this movie and I'm like I could not give less of a shit about what Nick Nolte's going through. You know? Like I'm someone who's like lived through most of his struggles and I'm just like

I don't want to see a movie about this. What's the fourth number? Oh, is it the kid? The fourth number is the kid. Yeah, she has like a sort of Annie type somewhere out there number. Suddenly she comes back. I wish someone would call me sweetie. Call me baby.

Fucking nuts. Yeah, because it's a little- She's talking about this lonely life of mine. Because it feels kind of like a Prince Fox song. I would love to be somebody. I would love to be someone's baby. Yeah. I don't know who wrote this one.

It is weird. It feels Prince-y to me. Well, some of the other writers I should note, Sinead O'Connor, Carole King. This might have been Carole King. I don't know. It might have been Sinead. I know Carole King wrote You Are the Best.

Yeah, I mean, you know, it was about. But those are like three of the most accomplished songwriters. I know. They're quite famous. It's crazy. It's true. Some of the most accomplished songwriters they're quite famous it's crazy it's true some of the best pop songs the weird thing is

watching this movie it feels like James L. Brooks wrote and composed the songs like you feel like the explanation for the songs is like

well it's James L. Brooks he's not a songwriter and instead it's like no he totally farmed that out it's just like artists half-assing it because they got asked

to do a favor for James L. Brooks is the thing yeah sure and it's like come on write me it because they got asked to do a favor for James L. Brooks. It's a thing. Yeah, sure. And it's like, come on, write me one song. Write me two songs. Yeah. But also, it's James L. Brooks being like, hey, I am like a bulletproof guy.

Right. Yeah. Like, the movie's going to hit. And the song, You'll Make Money, it'll be great. Everyone's going to, it's going to be great for everybody. But like, so this number. I'm fucking James L. Brooks. That's probably how we talk.

This number is. I'm fucking James. Fucking Canyon Jim. Get in That's probably how we talk. This number is... I'm fucking James. I'm fucking Canyon Jim. Get in the canyon. At Canyon Jim. This movie, or this number rather, is bad. I find it weirdly creepy. It feels weirdly sexual to me.

I wanted to die watching it. I felt the urge to not be alive. It's really creepy. But... And the God stuff is really... Not to be really creepy. And the God stuff is really creepy. Not to be. Agreed. The God stuff is really creepy.

But that's also what makes me feel like it's Prince-y. I don't know. But it's like, yeah, will the Lord come and save me? And it's like, what? Why are we talking about this? You're right. The God stuff is weird. The God stuff is super weird.

And I don't know whether it was like, because maybe they're trying to make it like Tracy Ullman with some sort of fundamental. i don't know whether it was like because maybe they're trying to make it like tracy alderman with something some sort of like fundamental like i don't know but it's the god stuff is super weird and out of place or it's just like an easy substitute for like i don't know what else to say in a song so i'm just gonna say god yes but i do feel like on a narrative level this is the one time the song actually worked with the movie even though the number itself literally just describing the her place in the story at this song actually worked with the movie, even though the number itself is bad. You're saying it's literally just describing her place in the story at this moment. It actually works in terms of storytelling.

It does the absolute bare minimum what a number should do. It's her internal monologue, dramatized. And I also think the way- It's like the turn when she's slightly becoming sort of more better. Yes, more better. Slightly more palatable character. No, more better. Yeah, slightly more palatable character.

No, more better. More better is, I think, the official term. That's right. But you're at least, like, feeling, like, her struggle as opposed to her just being, like, fucking Dennis the Menace. And then also, I think even the setup of, like, Matt's there listening to music on his headphones. Yeah, it's nice. So it's, like, her not being able to like communicate with him. It's like you see in a more functional movie with good songs, right?

If his goal was make a modern musical, maybe the device is the songs come in every time someone can't find the words to say what they wish they could say to someone else. And it's these moments of miscommunication. Like it's the things that people are saying to themselves what they wish they could say to someone else. And it's these moments of miscommunication. Like, it's the things that people are saying to themselves that they wish they could communicate to others, which isn't profound, but that's how it would work in a story.

A lot of good musicals is what they do. Right, right. They need to at least, for a musical to be halfway good, right, they should at least either fit the story or be good songs. Right. And in this case, they basically are neither. are neither this one i guess sort of nominally like basically fits the story now the next number comes very shortly after which is you are the best now that's a great number that's

kept in it's one of the best songs ever written i mean it won the pulitzer prize it did and it won the presidency too it did it was nominated and won the presidency in an off year yeah right like there wasn't even supposed to be an election mid-term election yeah but everyone just wrote it in

for president and then there was a whole debate about can a song be the president and everyone decided yeah it can it's that good

when you go into that room where she has two songs close together I'm almost like he could have made a movie where it's just like one character sings you know like there I was just thinking two songs close together, I'm almost like, he could have made a movie where it's just like, one character sings.

You know? Like, I was just thinking of narrative devices. where it's like, that's the gimmick that like, for some reason, Nick Nolte sings. I guess the reason you don't do that is,

like, then it would be Nick Nolte, would be the obvious character to sing. But it would make more sense if it was the girl, and it's like, you know, in a movie where-

But then the movie would have to be about the girl. Right. In a movie, right. I mean, like, here's the thing. How do you fix this movie? You burn it.

You throw it away. You throw it away. The Muppets. Staller and Walder. Yeah, pull out to them and they're like, this is terrible. I mean, that's why-

It's not half bad. It's all bad. That's why they're so smart, though. The Muppets? Well, sure. But I mean, Staller and Walder, you could always just be like, this sketch isn't like

100%. Well, why don't we just cut to Statler and Waldorf in the middle? It'll just ease everyone's tension. That's the thing. That's one of the best fucking devices in the history of television. They can always dunk on themselves. And if the sketch is great, they get a laugh on a laugh. They still get the joke.

How do you feel about Statler and Waldorf? They fucking rule. They're pretty cool. Are you more of a Statler or more of a Waldorf? Statler's long big chin Waldorf is the mustache sort of roundy guy. I like Waldorf. Statler is this one

and Waldorf is this one. Yeah I like Waldorf better. I think I'm a Waldorf guy too. I haven't really thought about it. He's got that mischievous squint. You know what I mean? He's got the eyes that are sort of like half closed.

Waldorf, I'm like, what's gonna come out of this guy's mouth next? You know? Can we not talk about the other numbers? Yeah, can we- Can we wrap this up?

Remember this is gonna be short? Can we throw this movie out forever? That's the fix. You burn it. Yeah. For real. Burn it. Can we just talk about

the cut to Rosie O'Donnell and Woody Harrelson rapping at the end? Yeah, sure. I mean, we can go quickly through it. The next couple of numbers. Julie Kavner has one at the restaurant. There's the one where it's like, it's only make-believe and it's like before he's going into the test and it's like, that's where Yardley

Smith is. It's all actors in the back lot prepping for their big test. It's basically an audition. That's kind of an I hope I get it. That one made me think it really did because what they're saying is. Ben appears to be having a nervous breakdown. It really made me think

because the look in his eyes that I can only describe is manic. Everyone's trying out for the same part. And his eyes are bleeding. It's like they're all saying it in different ways. Some have slower takes. It's like we're all just meat in a market.

And he's not even bleeding from the socket. It's straight from the pupil. I just want to talk about something. I want to talk about something for our listeners. Griff and Ben and I have been recording this show, you know, in like in sort of a marathon form for the last few months we've been recording approximately 15 episodes a day we've been doing a lot of episodes

in order to make it through filming we've had a lot of fun doing it but I think Ben might have lost his mind did he break Ben? Ben admitted to me the other day and he said it with kindness don't take this the wrong way you know I love you guys

but I've totally had enough of you guys it's just been it's been we've demanded a lot of him and he's stepped to the plate but I think that making him watch I'll do anything for the second time in a worse format and then record an additional episode

about it that is now pushing an hour in length. Has destroyed him. Our idea was originally 10 minute addendum. We're at 45 minute. Okay. Okay. Maybe a little less. Because we cut a lot of weird New York City gossip out of this.

Yeah. We were talking. We were throwing some shade. We were talking greasy. So there's the God I hope I get it. We did great. Which very shortly after is followed by the weird stage parent version. Yeah, there's this.

And instead of it's only make believe it says it's only childhood, which is so creepy. I know. But you know what I get like that? At least I can see like Brooks's idea. Right. Like you can see like, oh, it's right. It's this meta musical about Hollywood. It'll make fun of like all the conventions.

It'll be going. I'm not Chinese. Right, where he's like, I'm going to make a big musical comedy about Hollywood, but also it'll have nudity. That's like the thing, the reason why I feel like if he was going to pick Elaine, it should be Kavner and Brooks over Nolte and the daughter is that the best version of this movie,

I don't know if there's any good version of the movie, but the best version of this movie is the meanest one he has in his system because he clearly hates the industry right he clearly hates the machinery of it and the scenes where he takes his knife out like aren't good but they at least seem to have some

sort of like driving force behind them that he has contempt like the weird father daughter relationship do you really care about this or do you feel like people will think this is charming? Is it like, I don't know, this is the kind of thing that happens in a movie. Esther has fallen asleep. Something got in my head.

So the creepy child number, which I hate, because it just makes me think about, like, this fucking, like, I've talked about, like, I really want to be a stage kid. My parents wouldn't let me, but I'd go to auditions occasionally. And I would always be there with like parents like that with kids who clearly hated acting and were like I wish I was playing basketball and I was like huh honey remember

it's make believe you like this this is fun and then would look to my mom and I being like thumbs up he loves it sometimes he just gets like this here have a Mountain Dew you know like real like honey boo boo shit I mean that was the problem when you watch the movie the first time. And it's like suddenly there's a happy ending because she gets cast on a pilot.

Which, in this version, does not get picked up. Even though, I don't know how that happens because they're just filming the pilot. They say it's the first time they've tested it with the audience or what? It makes no sense. It makes no sense. It's one of these movies that drives me crazy where it's like an inside showbiz movie. Which, A, who gives a shit? But, B b you're inside the industry and you get all the tangible details no but it's like they don't get things wrong they change things into something wrong

because they have to fit it into a plot and you're like right so why did you make the goddamn thing in the first place right you know what's the other we're missing oh well they're right the cabner number at the restaurant which is sort of of Brooksian in that she's not singing that hard like it's more of a whisper but people are dancing right well it's like he's doing the dance it's like a ballet of shoes right right it's a little bit more of like and everybody says I love you like Popeye style like the musical numbers are characters kind of quietly muttering to themselves which maybe would have worked better what everybody says i loves you is a way better movie than this yes and they are kind of in a somewhat similar wheelhouse and popeye's an american masterpiece popeye's great popeye has good music yeah but they're also it's he need me the songs are great

but they also kind of function the way brooks wants the songs to function in this like the songs are sort of like characters muttering to themselves, like weird internal monologues and they're not story songs, you know, they're just like characters talking about being lonely and they don't really do choreography. They're not belters, you know,

they're not ballads. Um, it feels like he was like stuck in between like, because then this number becomes almost like a dream sequence where it feels like he was like stuck in between like because then this number becomes almost like a dream sequence where it's like him having to do the dance of impressing everyone

at the restaurant and it's once again fucking Brooks like thrusting his dick around. Maybe he's got a nice dick. What do you know? He probably has a nice dick. Esther, what do you think?

Not about the dick, just about the song. Don't talk about it. What do you think about Albert Brooks' dick? I don't know. It was fine. I started getting

really bored then. Yeah, at this point I I was so sick of this movie and this shit new version of it that was worse and not answering the questions I had. You know what I mean? It wasn't... Because whenever you hear about some forgotten cut version of a movie... No, because it's just the same movie with these bad songs added in.

It's just bad. I think the question that i'd have for brooks is like like what what like it who are your guys like who are they yeah no but like who are your musical guys like what what musicals do you are you inspired by to make this movie because i think that's like because if you're gonna make a musical like you have to follow a format um and are you inspired by to make this movie because i think that's like because if you're gonna make a musical like you have to follow a format um and are you doing all that jazz like are you doing you know like the easter parade like what are you doing yeah like are you doing cabaret like are you doing some like what are you doing what is your what was your intention for this and i because i like i genuinely don't know. I thought, as David said,

like I thought this would answer that question, but it doesn't. That's the weird thing is like those, there are movies that we've talked about, certainly like sort of check bounce movies where you're like, I wish I could just see what their original version was because I can see how it probably wasn't better,

but at least was more cohesive rather than like the mush we got. And then this, it's like we watched the theatrical version we were like this has so many weird gaps in it I bet the musical would like bring the room together and you watch this and it's like it's no it's just another jarring element I read

an interview with Hans Zimmer last night I was looking for someone involved talking about the process of making this movie and he said he went to the first test screening and they hadn't told the audience it was a musical. And they told them anything? They were like,

it's the new comedy from James Albrose. Okay, sure. You know? And they hadn't told him it was a musical. And when the first song happens 20 minutes in, they just like revolted. He was like, they got furious because the movie had done nothing.

Which is weird, I guess. No, because the movie had done nothing which is weird i guess no because the the dead the cold opens the musical number but that feels somewhat integrated i guess like he was saying that he felt like the movie was in no way built around the song so the audience didn't feel primed for it and they got angry about it and he said that was my lesson when i was scoring the lion king was like i needed the Circle of Life opening like the chants at the beginning to prime the audience to like these characters gonna break out in a song because it wasn't like a Broadway musical

Right well The Lion King came out the same year as this and is like Circle of Life is the opposite it's like perfect it does exactly that but he was saying like I needed my score before Circle of Life starts to feed into that to prime the audience for it because he had no hand in writing the songs for this he was at that test, I needed my score before Circle of Life starts to feed into that, to prime the audience for it. Absolutely.

Because he had no hand in writing the songs for this. He was at that test screen trying to figure out how to score around it. And he was like, this is impossible. The audience can't get on the same page with this thing. But it's weird that both he and James L. Brooks are like, yeah, it's too bad we never got a fair shake with that movie. The audience wasn't ready. And neither of them are like, you know what I did wrong? Like, they're both just like yeah it's

just you know it was presented incorrectly i mean it's not really zimmer's fault it's brooks's fault yes yeah he fucked up i mean whatever he had an idea he had a total blank check he made two giant hit movies of course he you know no one said no to him and like it was just a bad idea it was just shitty you know it has good songs what the lion king yeah great songs i mean not my favorite disney song circle of life though circle of life is that's the best song it's a bad idea. It was just shitty. You know what has good songs? What? The Lion King. Yeah. Great songs. I mean, not my favorite Disney song. Circle of Life, though. Circle of Life is amazing. That's the best song. It's a banger.

When I was a kid, my dad got- You are the best is the best song ever. Correct. Ever written. Number one, too. A Laserdisc player and got the Lion King on Laserdisc, and we were very excited to hear like, he set up these speakers. Right, because the whole pitch of Laserdisc and we were very excited to hear he set up these speakers. The whole pitch of Laserdisc was

the sound. We sat down and were very excited to watch Circle of Life. It's like you can hear the hooves. Was it good? Yeah, it was great. Did you have to flip it? Yeah, probably. I don't remember flipping it, but I'm sure.

I never had a Laserdisc player. They're like the size of dinner plates. They still have Laserdiscs. Ben has taken out his samurai sword and is trying to figure out where in his chest to stab himself. Ben seems to have written a message in ancient runes on the wall that's

glowing. Oh, wait a second. It's a color puzzle. Hold on one second. Esther, you want a mint? So, final number. I think, right, there's only one. We're not talking about this movie anymore.

We're done. Final number is a reprise of wow. It's a reprise of wow. It's a reprise of like. But this time, it's spelled backwards. But also, Rosie O'Donnell raps.

Yeah, it's backwards this time. It's a reprise. And in heels. Palindrome joke. Yeah, nailed it. Five palindrome points. Go ahead. There are like

a bunch of different rephrases in the song. But also, yeah, in this version, Jolie Richardson, you don't see the test. And also,

the scene where she like leaves Nick Nolte hanging, I feel like she's less cruel in this version. Am I wrong? A little bit?

Yeah. I was so annoyed at the movie at this point, but maybe. It felt a little softer. The sex I was so annoyed at the movie at this point, but maybe. It felt a little softer. I thought the sex scene was different too. The sex scene's much longer and far more explicit. And you kind of see You kind of see his dick in this version.

Yeah. You see a lot more of them naked. Did you guys also burn your apartment down while this was on? Yes, correct. I also Freddy Krueger'd myself. We should say I'm now in the studio wearing a razor glove covered head to toe

in hamburger burns. I literally did have a visit from the exterminator while it was on. And you asked them to shove the pipe down your throat. And he was like, everything seems fine except for whatever's coming from the TV I'm getting a bad reading. Like the dog is barking at it. High toxicity over here near

your monitor. Something rancid I smell coming out of your laptop. So this movie sucks. It's a fucking disaster. It's a bummer to watch. But the pilot doesn't go in this version. And they are trying to figure out how

to tell her the bad news and she's only upset that she thinks it means they're not going to get a party. And then when she finds out there is a party, she's fine with it anyway. And they all sing wow. And everyone just cries and pulls their hair out of their heads at the Columbia pictures. Yeah. So I have a question. Yeah, go ahead.

Because watching this two times now. Yeah. I think that this is the biggest bounce that we've ever covered on the show and maybe might be the biggest.

Wow. Because K-19 was bad. Interesting that K-19 is your, right now, your number one. I think by biggest bounce you mean movie

you took the absolute least pleasure in watching no also he deserves to be in prison for this movie it's so bad i love how this is the first movie to cause us to do two episodes on the same movie apart from like the star wars it's so bad it's oh so bad. He should have never made a movie again. It's so misbegotten. He should be on an island by himself forever. It does. It's a stunning

because it just feels like he had complete reign. A lot of times when we cover big bounces, it's like, I totally see what they were trying to do and this got in the way. They weren't thinking through this element. And this, you're like, I don't understand what the best version of this movie was in his mind. Yeah.

Yeah. That's the whole issue. Right. You don't know what the hell his intentions were. No. So what else is up? Yeah. Griff.

Griff's about to start filming. About to start filming. This is our final. This is my start filming this is our final this is my final record final record um but again before like solo guys it's not like we're never gonna see yeah it was just solo and uh and then maybe something else after that maybe there's another summer release that we'll have to cover at the time it comes out oh yeah good point uh i almost said what it was i know i know i was about to say it too and you're right of course we don't we haven't revealed the miniseries.

Let's take it off my cuff. And then we're going to do the whole Transylvania trilogy. Yeah, which I think we reveal that fact on a later episode. But Griffin pitched that. So we're doing that. We're doing all three in one episode. He pitched it by going, that'd be fun, right? It'd be fun.

I never get to do what I want on this show. Esther, what's up with you? We're checking in. We're checking into the hotel. Yeah, we're going to check in. I don't know. I just got a confirmation for the Avengers.

Ooh. Yeah. Exciting, right? It's the day before my birthday. Are we going to have like, you know... I'll buy you cupcakes. Yeah.

Thank you. I've done that. There's a Magnolia around the corner. Have you been invited to this room? Yeah. No guests allowed or else, you know.

Wow. Disney's especially... Disney has been... This one is getting the real Star Wars where it's like everyone's basically seeing it like with the premiere. No one's going to see it until like the week of. So how short, are you seeing it like the Monday before the Thursday or whatever it is? Yeah. I'm not sure how much we should talk about this. It's Monday.

Yeah. I mean, Joanna is going to have a hard time, I think, living in a home with you. Yeah, she does not like that I've seen them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But I'm seeing it with my girlfriend on Friday. Humble fucking crack. I bought Alamo tickets.

So, yeah, I know. It's so funny. Every one of these Marvel movies, I see them twice. Yeah. Because, you know, Disney never gives you a plus one. And so I always, Joanna always wants to see I love that Joanna I love that Joanna is such a

Marvel fanatic because it feels so analogous with everything else about her that she not only is obsessed with the Marvel movies but only those movies Yeah she loves Marvel movies I mean she like we saw Batman vs. Superman and then i think she

was out on dc well she saw wonder woman right but like you know what i mean like there was not like a sense of like oh we gotta see uh justice league yeah in the i saw justice league with esther yes wow that was an experience um we also saw suicide squad together uh yes that's right um i was in the new york city public library on 42nd Street yesterday and sitting in a little cafe area. And the guy behind the counter who was working the cafe was just having a long discussion about the DCEU. DCEU, baby. And I was just like, he cared very deeply but was frustrated. It was just interesting listening.

Yeah. I've been falling down a rabbit hole lately of watching long 40-minute YouTube videos of people complaining about shit that they clearly know nothing about. That sounds miserable. Yeah. I saw this video. Why do you do this to yourself? I don't know.

I have no idea. yeah like i saw this video yeah why do you do this so i don't know i have no idea but i watched one that was a guy explaining why studio interference ruined kingsman 2 the golden circle and i was like the movie was self-financed yeah and also like kingsman where where do you how do you watch that movie and go like clearly studio meddling was at hand right the studio asked him to add there's nothing indulgent about this one right out. Add a vaginal tracking device. I'm giving you the light. Yeah. He's giving us the light.

He wants us done. But what about I don't know like what's up with you Ben? How you doing? How you doing? I'm fine. Ben is so happy

to not see our faces or hear our voices for the next four months. But you folks I'm seeing my fair lady tonight. I'm so jealous. Well now David wrap it up.

I saw Carousel this week Uh huh Saw Mean Girls this week How was that? How's Mean Girls? Or is there an embargo? I don't even know Yeah I don't

I'm working on something I probably shouldn't say Cut it out Cut it out Ben cut everything out Cut out the whole episode Hi this is Blank check with your friend David

Here's a bonus episode The musical version of I'll Do Anything is bad. So Ben, just replace the entire hour we've recorded with that. Thank you all for listening. Esther, thank you so much for being here. I'm glad I could participate in this. Please remember to

rate, review, subscribe. Thanks to Andrew for Gouda for social media, Joe Bone and Pat Rounds for our artwork, Lane Montgomery for our theme song. Go to blankies.red.com for some real nerdy shit. And as always, you are the best. You can do anything. You can do anything.

Or it's like, you can be everything. Right? You can be anything. I don't know. Anything. You can be anything you want. You are smile. You are the rainbow. It's very important to me. Sometimes you laugh. Sometimes you cry.

Sometimes you turn around and just go, why? No, no, we just hit an hour, so great. I was about to say, you do this for another minute, we'll probably get to the 60-minute mark. Sometimes it feels like only other people catch the brakes. And I'm dead. You can cut this out, Ben, if you want, but I believe every time she comes into the office, she says like, I'm here, bitches.

Yes, she announces herself. That's delightful. Yeah, I like that. But she sounds very snooki to me. I like that she, you know. You're marking that to cut it out. Yeah, cut it out. Okay.